You might want to consider personal coaching with me if you require a specific game plan on winning him back, otherwise, go through no contact as read and apply positive changes to your life while getting yourself to an emotional state where you're okay with whatever happens. The only way you win him back is by making those changes in your life and figuring out what went wrong in the relationship that made him feel that he couldn't be himself and the reason he might have lost the spark for you which further reinforced his decision. Also, no more pleading and begging for him back.
my bf of a year and i decided to break up cuz we thought it was the healthiest option we had. we were in a long distance relationship and we both have depression. we talk to therapists once a week. he and i work almost everyday so didnt really get to talk to each other.(we also have like 8 hour time difference) we broke up over a phone call, he said that he stills loves me a lot and misses me. he told me to not delete all those pictures on FB cuz he wont as well and wont try to forget about me. i'm moving to Europe in 3 months(he lives in Europe) and he wants to see me when we close the gap. He said we could try to recover the relationship when we see each other and now we just have to give each other some space to work on ourselves and be stable. 4 days after we broke up, he sent me a message out of the blue asking is i was doing okay. i said i was fine and asked him if he wanted to talk. and he said he just wanted know. i know i have to go no contact at least for a month, but this break up doesnt feel like a real break up to me tbh. it just feels like a break. do i still have to go no contact and ignore his messages when he texts me? i wont initiate any contacts tho.
Understand the breakup. What did each of you do to contribute to the breakup? Most relationship troubles do not crop up unexpectedly, but build up over time. The odds are good that it wasn't a one-sided problem and that there were signs that it was coming. Take some time and do some soul searching before you attempt to get your ex back. You want to make sure you are not wasting your time or energy on something futile.
I was in a fwb relationship with a man that I’m compatible with. But his ex wife and ex gf of 14 years both cheated on him. He never wants to date or have a relationship again. He says he’s un loveable too. It breaks my heart because I’m very much in love with him. He brok up with me 2 years ago because he knew I was in love with him without saying. We hadn’t talked again til last week. We had wonderful exciting sex. He said he hadn’t been with anyone in a long time.
Since she may honestly be expecting you to come across as intense and want to have a serious conversation, perhaps it might be better to do the opposite and start by being light hearted and while addressing some of the issues during the breakup may be needed, at least ensure that she has a good time and that stress isn't added onto her plate now or she wouldn't even want to consider the idea of getting back together. By letting her enjoy the weekend (and date with you so to speak), you at least 'show' her with your actions that you're capable of change and that you understand how stressed she is and you just wanted to help her unwind - which could work a lot more positively in your favor than having a serious talk.
For the past five months I have been rebuilding attraction. Very successfully, I might add. It’s been taking longer than expected, but the results have been good. We are at the point, or we WERE at the point (more on that in a bit) where we would be free for each other at any given time. We were texting and talking on the phone every single day, and seeing each other at least once a week. I had finally broken past the barrier where I can be as affectionate as I like, including little random pecks on the lips, and cuddling on the couch making out here and there during movies. We had sex for the first time again. It was great, and she responded well.
After our breakup she insisted that we stay friends. I agreed. I tried my best to be normal/casual/happy but every night after talking for 2-3 hours on call, i used to start asking her to try again to which she said no because she is very happy now and feels lighter. 2 weeks in and it had become too difficult for me to accept that she sees me as just a friend. I met up with her and told her that i have to walk away(total NC). We both cried and she told me she loves me and hopes “that we can be there for each other again when this is not between us”(I’m assuming she meant as friends).

Since you've already started to push her away with your actions after the breakup, the best thing you can do right now is to give her some space and try to figure out on your own what caused her to end the relationship. If it was a negative aspect of you that made her lose feelings or give up on the relationship, use this time to work on yourself so that you'll be able to reach out as an improved person down the road to see if things can be rebuilt from there.


I guess I get in to the honeymoon stage later, for me it takes time me and he seemed to be in it in the beginning and I was holding back because I was unsure. Yes, I did feel emotional distance from him during the last month but he kept following up and making plans and we continued to spend our weekends together that were so much fun. But missing the big elephant in the room, which was discussing what we are. I should also mention we are in our 30's so I am just surprised that if he finally met someone that he connects with that he would just leave to abruptly just because I brought up deleting the dating app. I just thought there was a real connection between us and if he would just open up more I could see a future with him.
Make peace with your fears and insecurities to diminish their power. When you learn how to manage fear, you become confident in dating and relationships. To overcome fear, empower yourself with knowledge. Become a student of relationships, instead of a victim of them. Study love. Read. Watch. Listen. Find every way you can to learn about how men and women work, so that you can become both a student, and a master of love in your life.
big problem here. my ex and I have been broken up for about 2 years. HOWEVER none of his relationships have progressed into anything and have always ended horribly. we have maintained contact since but I was the one who first initiated no contact and he always broke it. I sent him an apology letter in the mail and he and I eventually got back together after our neighbor had a talk with him. my ex suffers from "lone wolf syndrome". he hates any kind of attachment, is extremely stubborn and doesn't like anyone telling him what to do. one common thread is he always comes to me when his relationships fizzle out. I have no idea why because I have always maintained that I agree with being friends with him (since we broke up he insists he just wants to be friends but I HATE IT) and I strive to be the best one he has. I try to build him up and make him feel like he's doing the right thing with his life (when he gets down) and he has been helping me out too. even this past memorial day we had a REALLY good time with my friends (I introduced them to him because he had been feeling down). but recently he's fallen back into his shell because of some really stressful things going on in his life. I had texted him to see if he had wanted to come over and hang out to get away from it and he didn't text me at all. TWO WEEKS passed and I barely heard anything from him other than seeing he had been online. so I texted him saying I felt hurt and neglected and he responded with "I'm sorry you feel that way, I just want to be friends" now I can't stop thinking about what he said and I want to get OUT of the dreaded friendzone and get back to being his girlfriend. advice please! thank you :)...
My gf of about 3 years and I have broken up "for good" as of 2-3 weeks ago. We've been off and on for those 3 years, mostly due to (unintended) pressure on my part to advance the relationship. We never officially dated, or really called each other gf/bf, despite what I had felt — which shouldn't be a big deal, but didn't help things either. Those things aside, we were best friends, relying on each other for feedback on our work, talked about and were involved with each other's lives, both of us approaching our mid 30s. We found ourselves in a cycle of being together, since being with a friend is easy, then everything coming to a head, breaking up for a time, and drifting back into each other. But we always made each other laugh, we bonded over big and small things, and ... this break has been very difficult for me. We'd said I love you several times. We were highly compatible sexually. But when it came time to talk about the future, she'd put up walls, if she even talked at all. It was strained. She has issues with her parents' divorce when she was young, and her father was manipulative and untrustworthy. I have my own issues with parents who weren't in love, so there was some common ground in some way. I said I understood where she was coming from and suggested going to therapy together toward the end, but it didn't hold.

Men don’t commit because they know they don’t have to. They know that you won’t leave them and even if you do leave,there will be some thirsty female out there that will be all too happy to pick up right where you left off. They believe that they are God’s gift to women. They will never realize that women are God’s gift to men. And most women do not recognize their value. And a large amount of women more than likely believe that they don’t have any.
While it's nice to consult your girl friends or bros about relationship issues, keep in mind that every relationship is different and what works for one couple may not work for you. This also means that not everyone is going to understand why you do what you do; it may not make sense to your best friend why you chose to give up something you once loved for your significant other — and that's OK.
Great article, so my situation started out last week with him pulling away, first day I was asking him what going on why so distant, and he explained he was stressed and they he didn’t want anything to change between us and regardless we would make it. Unfortunately the distant behavior never changed and I was giving him space, I was going to the doctor about a health issue and that when I let him know about it, his lack of concern for me and my health too me by suprise. I understand you need to handle your life but I would think a moment of empathy could succumb the moment of space needed (just a follow up text that he actually cared I wasn’t asking for the world) welp he just gave me a two answer text then I was I asked about his lack of empathy he apologies saying he did understand the message. So I broke off the realatiobshio bc I refused to be with someone who didn’t care and he had never responded to the message and it’s been five day. Please advise?

Once you're in the bedroom (and aware of his insecurities), remind him of how much you enjoy being intimate. For example, if he's worried about his weight, maybe give him a sexy once-over and tell him how how buff he looks naked. Other key areas to compliment: His gut, as men often worry about the size of it (and other measurable parts), and their hair, as guys tend to feel self-conscious once they start losing it.

It's common that someone continues to love a person even though they're no longer in love. It simply means that the passionate feelings she might have once had for you has started to fade, but it doesn't mean that she's stopped caring about you altogether (which is why she still shows care and concern). I suggest figuring out what went wrong and where she started to lose her spark for you and see if you are able to re-ignite that spark again.
Hello.. I really need help.. My Ex and I broke 3 weeks ago and we've been in a back and forth, me trying to get her back and she finding out more things that made her be really sure about never going back with me.. I lied to her in a bad way and I hurt her a lot because of my lies... I have apologized several times for that.. Yet I haven't apologized for my attitude after the break up..(We said many emotional things).. Everytime I was apologizing for what I did was trying her to forgive me and get her back... Without understanding her feelings.. I wonder... It has been 3 weeks and I haven't apply the 30 days rules (Wish I saw this earlier)..
I recently met a man at a business networking party.  Knowing what I do for a living, he asked me, “What’s a good line to meet a girl?  I mean, I’m usually pretty good at picking up the ladies, but for some reason, it’s not working lately.”  I responded by asking,  “What’s the energy you think you are putting out there?  Forget about what you are saying.  What do you think your energy is saying?”  He thought about it for a moment, smiled, chuckled a bit, and then said, “Well, I’m not looking for a relationship.  I’m just looking to have some fun and maybe hook up with someone.”  And there’s the problem.

I really love him. I just want to hear from him. Some of the reasonings we broke up include he felt unappreciated, he wasn’t “getting” happy, he’s bored with the relationship because all we do is sit around, which I immediately told him that’s not fair and I always try to get him to do things and said I know. But a few more reasons he’s told me, he wants to be around someone positive, and I’ll admit I haven’t been in the best shape lately. I lost my job, I’ve been going through family issues, and friend issues. I always am first to tell him everything. I can understand why this is what could push him away. He is a very easy go free kind of guy. He also told me “I’m not what he wants in a girlfriend” of course all these words hurt. I think about everything he’s said and it hurts. Do I believe them? Slightly.


The worst thing you can do in a deal is seem desperate to make it. Leverage is your biggest strength – it means having something the other person wants or can’t do without. She decides it’s in her best interest to commit. Most people don’t want to “brag”. I say do it. BRAG! Don’t be afraid to talk about your good qualities and what you have to bring to a relationship. If you don’t tell her then who will?

He broke up with me last week because he didn't feel it was right anymore. He said didn't love me anymore. He didn't imagine me in his future anymore. He said he hasn't been feeling the same feeling from when we started dating for two months. He didn't tell me right away because he wanted to love me. He wanted to believe he loved me. He said he wished he loved me and that we worked out. He apologised to me for not feeling the same way anymore.
So when I hear someone tell me “I want my ex back because they are the most amazing person in the world and quite possibly my soul mate” I always remind those people that they are pretty amazing too! If your ex fell for you, if you were able to inspire and seduce them the first time around, it means that you have tons of qualities to offer as well.
“I feel great that I’m hearing from you again”…is that a joke? You DON’T feel great that they treat you like that. Don’t be a doormat, it’s NOT OK to leave someone hanging, & saying that just allows them to get away with that kind of behaviour and think shelving you like a toy til they feel like playing with you again is OK. You’re better off acting disinterested & telling them flat out sorry but I’m not into that kinda thing, so you’ll have to put more effort in if you want me to stick around or I’m just going to assume you’re not interested and move on with my life. Do not allow people to treat you that way and reward bad behaviour by getting excited & happy they suddenly decide to return. Be true to yourself.

Me and my boyfriend of 2 years broke ip 1 month ago. I am 27 and he is 26. He is in the coast guard and he lives in Maryland and I am in NYC. We have been LDR since the beginning, but he only joined the Coast Guard 1 year ago. I have been doing No Contact for 3 weeks now. He was the one who broke up with me and after we broke up he was texting me days afterward nice and positive text messages. Since I have started NC he hasn’t reached out via text but still like some of my stuff on Social Media and is looking at it. We broke up because he felt like he loved me but wasn’t as in love with me anymore and that maybe we were on 2 different paths. He also said “maybe we can get back together one day. My parents got back together after they broke up,” my question is is 30 days of NC good enough or should I go longer? I have been making positive changes in my life, but since things ended so positively I have been confused.
He was my bestfriend for a while and then we found out that we actually love each other so we dated for a few months and then he told me that we should go back to being bestfriends to protect what we have because we can never be together or get married due to our religious beliefs.. when we started doing that he was already talking to another girl who follows the same religion as him and i got jealous and got into many fights with him about that .. that lasted for about 2 months and then he got sick from my craziness and told me that we should be just regular friends not even bestfriends and we shouldn’t text everyday or call each other unless there is something important.. that was about a month ago .. i begged him to become bestfriends again i talked alot and tried everything i could do but it was no use .. yesterday i talked to him about it again and he told me that being just friends is his final decision ans he won’t change his mind and i should act that way and just let it flow .. i hate the fact that he’s in control and that it was his decision to be just regular friends. Moreover, he and that other girl became really close I’m not sure if they are dating or not but i know that they talk and hang out alot .. we go to the same college so i see them together alot .. whenever he sees me he acts normal as regular friends .. what should i do to go back into being bestfriends again ? What should i do to win him back after he said that he already moved on? I’m not sure if the other girl is a rebound or everything between them is real also.

Why is it that men get to retreat when the tuff gets going? Sure I want to run away from my problems in life too but I don’t.ever! I don’t need to find an excuse or make one because I get scared, then retreat like I’m some little baby. No one has that right, put ur big boy/girl pants on and be a responsible, and dedicated person to the choices you made with ur life. I am so sick of people retreating because they get scared. Get over yourselves.

Update: I had a legal question so I texted him after about 6 weeks from when he asked for space, and he responded quite eagerly, and told me he would normally not give legal advice to someone he found so sexy and with whom he has intimate relations… he told me I owed him dinner but I just laughed and thanked him for the legal advice. Now it’s his time to wait!! I texted him again a few days ago with another legal question, and he called me today on the phone because he said that he could only answer the question off record and not in writing. He told him that normally he would not give out free legal advice, but he liked me and wanted to help. I thanked him and he said he wanted us to talk again soon… Slow moving but promising! :)
Found out a guy who I was secretly in love with for 9’years also had feelings for me. He reached out to me first and we connected immediately (even though We had been aquentinces) . Intense chemistry, he was telling me within weeks that he was falling for me, that he would go through his horrible divorce all over again of it meant being with me, how beautiful I am, how refreshing it is to have someone who gets his large family and who already knows them, included me in days with his daughter, we slept together 2x, he would… Read more »
We were best friends for 2 years (where I secretly liked him) then we dated for almost two years because he said he also started feeling the same. Our relationship was really good despite not meeting each other for the whole of it. We loved each other so much. We helped each other see the best things in life. We were good for each other. Our plan was to meet at the end of 2018 as lovers but now we're just meeting as friends.
So hear I am 30 days no contact, regularly going to my spin classes again, buying furniture for my new condo, focusing on me...but I feel like an emotional basket case most days still and no phone number to reach him. I really wanted to spend more time with him I feel as though it was cut short and I was still in the honeymoon excited about the future phase. What should I do? Short of showing up at his door step or writing a letter I have no means of contact (except social media). I was hoping I would hear from him soon and hoping he realizes that he made a mistake...any advice would be helpful
So you’ve just met a new guy, and things are going really well. He takes you out regularly for fun dates, the chemistry is explosive, and you can really see a future with him. There’s just one problem: he won’t commit to being in a relationship. As a matter of fact, every time you bring up the idea of the two of you becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, he clams up, changes the subject, or he tells you he just isn’t ready to be in a relationship.
Do you have negative thoughts about your relationship? Do you keep feeling that your partner is going to desert you? Researchers have noticed that unhappy couples tend to focus more on the negative aspects of their relationships. If you find yourself a victim of this kind of feeling for certain actions of your partner, then the next time you have such thoughts, try to rationalize it with some neutral explanation for the action.
The biggest problem most women face is that for a very specific reason the man they want no longer feels the desire to chase her anymore. He withdraws from the relationship, goes cold or becomes distant which is a death spiral where he keeps pulling away more and more and she keeps desperately trying to get his attention and interest back while he’s pulling away. The next step is very simple read this article: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
For the past five months I have been rebuilding attraction. Very successfully, I might add. It’s been taking longer than expected, but the results have been good. We are at the point, or we WERE at the point (more on that in a bit) where we would be free for each other at any given time. We were texting and talking on the phone every single day, and seeing each other at least once a week. I had finally broken past the barrier where I can be as affectionate as I like, including little random pecks on the lips, and cuddling on the couch making out here and there during movies. We had sex for the first time again. It was great, and she responded well.
Let the royals care about titles. One of the biggest mistakes you can make during the early hook is to suggest or even hint that things have started to formalize by assigning the labels “girlfriend” and “boyfriend.” Even if you feel like things are going in the right direction and that your relationship is getting more serious, there’s an extremely wide gulf between just being someone you’re dating and someone who has been officially proclaimed a boyfriend. What your man wants you to know but won’t tell you is that affixing titles to the relationship too early is like holding up a cross to a vampire. We will often run fast and hard when we feel like we’re being boxed into something we don’t want or is too premature.

Avoid “hang out,” “go eat,” “Can I have your number?” – they are ambiguous and its not clear if it’s “just friends.” Instead “I’d like to take you out,” “Want to go on a date?”, “Can I call you?” These are all much better. Be clear and direct. I know, it’s taking a risk. She’s already not going out with you though . . . so whats the worst that could happen?
If you and this man are only just dating (he’s not yet committed or even particularly emotionally attached to you) and he’s off somewhere and not returning your calls, and you send him this text saying “I am thinking about you I can’t forget you I remember every kiss” out of fear that ‘why isn’t he putting me FIRST?’ – then you’re not being vulnerable.

I met this guy 6 weeks ago via tinder and we hit it off after 3 weeks. He said he wanted to be exclusive with me and we text and talk everyday even when he’s travelling. The thing is, he is always travelling for work and when I met him back after his 2 weeks of travel (1 week ago) , I was excited to see him but I was facing with a lot of family problems (family member has cancer) that time. He was telling me how much stress he was facing during the last biz trip and I listened and comforted him. Before we parted, I said I needed a break from this relationship as is moving too fast, instead of telling him my family issues. He looked disappointed and said OK and left. He did not initiate any contact with me for the past 1 week except when he just text me arrived safely at the airport that time. The next day I text him saying I am stressed out and feel bad abt what I said to him, he didn’t reply. I text him 2 days later asking is everything OK, he said all good and he’s tired. Then 4 days later I text him that I wanted to rekindle the relationship again, no reply. I’m thinking is he pulling away as I demanded space? But I already said I want to start again. He is coming back in 5 days time. I don’t know what should I do then? Shall I wait for him to contact me or if he doesn’t, means he wants to end with me?
It`s so true like you said in the post “Commitment is scary but it’s the most beautiful, courageous and beneficial thing you can do for yourself. Once you commit, life becomes so.much.simpler. Your emotional constipation ceases to exist as does looking for laxatives in the form of gossip, acting on impulse, engaging in friendsh*ts, relationsh*ts and validation seeking.”
There are certain techniques to get him back again and you will learn them here. When someone tells you that you can use tricks to get him back you can often assume the worst. Of course no relationship should be built on deception and you should not have to trick someone to want to be with you. What I am talking about here are psychological tricks that we are unaware of. If you understand the way that the male psyche operates you will be able to change your behaviour in a positive way to make him more attracted to you.
On the other hand, if you want a relationship that will really stand the test of time and last forever, you need to make sure that he doesn’t start to lose interest in you and pull away. Once that starts to happen the process is sometimes irreversible and he will be lost forever, so if you suspect at all that he’s pulling away from you then you need to read this right now: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
How do couples strike this tricky balance? By allowing each partner to have what he calls "separate sexuality," or a sex life that doesn't include (or betray) the other. "For him, that might mean allowing his wife to use sex toys or letting other men look at her," Dr. Kort says. "For her, it might be permitting him to watch pornography in order to experience a fantasy." Such indulgences help maintain the balance of desire and devotion for both parties, so talk to your partner outside of the bedroom and see if this is something one (or both of you) might be interested in.
I hope this article helped you better understand why guys pull away. But there is more you need to be aware of. Most guys will start to pull away at some point. They may even lose interest. You may notice he’s acting colder and he’s less responsive and attentive to you. Do you know how to handle it when this happens? If not, you run the risk of making a common, and major, mistake that might push him further away so be sure to read this next: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
My boyfriend of almost four years broke up with me and I’m so sad. He’s been reaching out to check on me for the first four days and then just dropped off. How would this article apply to my situation? I’m not clinging to the hope of him coming back, but there’s always a chance he’ll miss me and realize what he lost. I’ve been initiating no contact with him.
So, what’s the resolution for you if calling him your boyfriend and yourself his girlfriend means a lot to you? The first option is simply to wait until you’re absolutely sure he feels the same way about making it official. Often we give subtle signs to indicate we’re ready. If we start talking about dating you exclusively, you can take that as a sign. If we introduce you to our close friends on several occasions, that’s a solid sign. If we let you stay in our apartment when we’re not there, that’s a really good sign. The number-one sign that we’re ready to go formal — we invite you to dinner with our mother. (Yes, it’s our mother that counts for this one, not our dad.)
I want my girlfriend back beautiful message girl in Merimbula and cute and funny and guy make smile and laugh and better things to say that I love you Ada Baker biggest love heart hot and sexy girlfriend and her beautiful person my brother and Trisha getting in Engaged wedding on 14th April next year church so I love my girlfriend so i gotta love to her help me with any of the world very much
My ex and I were together for 7 years. In the first year, he looked at some messages and caught me messing around. But i was a kid (19) and we moved past it, it meant nothing. we've been so happy since then, and i never fooled around ever again. i fell in love with my boyfriend so hard. fast forward 6 years to now, he randomly looked at my chat with a friend while we were in a fight (i know hes never done this, not sure what prompted him to do it this time. everything happens for a reason tho bc this was the first time i had some scandalous stuff in my messages.) my messages showed my recent dumb move, i was pulling this crazy long trick on a friend (it spiraled out of control, i lied about details etc...) saying i was cheating when i wasnt. the lies were elaborate and stupid, where i talked about hooking up with someone when i havent even looked in anyone else's direction in reality. (it's silly i know, but my therapist said it has a lot to do with the meds i was on for adhd recently.) anyways, my boyfriend saw this stuff, and told me i have serious issues and that he cant trust me anymore. has told me to get lost for life. doesnt even wanna talk about it. hes oddly very calm and has told me he wont be changing his mind, this is the end and i should really move on because he is well on his way. we broke up and i did everything based on my emotions, send texts, emails, letters, and begged at his place. he told me if i dont stop he's gonna call the cops, and that none of my crying or begging has any effect on him anymore. he says he thought about what happened and he deserves better and wants to move on. ive been getting help and i really would do anything to have him back. i sent a final 8 pg letter yesterday explaining that i am not a cheater, or a liar, or crazy, and that im getting therapy and making changes in my life, and that i would like to speak to him again when i am better. he texted me saying, "good for you. i hope you make changes and i know you will make someone else happy in this life once u do that. im not changing my mind unfortunately, i wish you nothing but the best, please move on." it broke my heart. we are good together. i don't know how he easily moved on so quick, but we both know he can. he's a mature, principaled man. i'd like to do NC, but I dont want him to move on for good during NC. i know he's trying to cut me out of his life bc he's done with me. but i dont want to lose him forever. hes the love of my life. He loved me and treated me amazing. what do you think i should do?
Hi I have been dating my boyfriend for two years now he used to be like the best thing ever made be feel loved like never before. But of recent he got in to medical school and it started stressing him out and he started giving me less attention and I was actually going through a lot during this period and he was so busy that he wasn’t giving me attention so I started complaining and fighting with him a lot and asking for more attention but eventually he started avoiding me and every time I am with him and his not doing what I want I would start crying and I could feel him drifting away more and more then I spoke to him one night and he said he was indifferent about the relationship and wants us to be friends I cried so much and begged him for a second chance he actually really cares for me this Part I know out of pity he gave me a second chance then a few days ago he sent a random text saying his sorry he ever hurt me and he loves me so much but he still doesn’t call or text me much it hurts cause I really love him and I don’t want to loose i just need advice on what to do because all I want to do is talk to him every time but I don’t want to chock him and if his online and doesn’t text me I start to feel like he doesn’t want to talk to me the thing is how do i give him space and still make him love me as much as he used to
Let’s say one night you decide to watch home movies from an old-fashion projector. You put in a video of you at 5 years old playing at your first recital. You curl up on the couch with popcorn and hot chocolate (two of your favorite things) and begin to watch. Unfortunately, there appears to be a weird blemish in the video, so you decide to change it and put on a video of your 10th birthday party but somehow the blemish is in that video too. So, you run over to the wall, wipe the screen, and put in one more video… yet again, the spot is still showing up.
KarenLee Poter currently hosts an Internet talk show, The KarenLee Poter Show, and blog about dating, sex, love, and everything in-between. KarenLee recently published, A Cougar’s Guide To Getting Your Ass Back Out There, a book about her experiences and insights into dating again. Poter is also an expert in large age gap relationships, as she’s been in a committed relationship for the past 7 years with a man several years her junior. The KarenLee Poter Show commands a worldwide audience, receiving nearly 125,000 views per month, and KarenLee’s writing has been featured on multiple blog sites.
I hope you enjoyed this post and can take away a lot of helpful tips and advice for your current and future relationships! If you have any comments, questions, or any more tips of your own, please comment below and share them! I’m sure many of our experts will be more than happy to respond back and keep the conversation going! Also, if you love articles like this, sign up for our Elite Man Newsletter and get all of our best articles, podcasts, tips, and advice completely free!
Risk factor: Medium to high. If he's a jerk, he may look at this as an opportunity for some bed-hopping, single-guy abandon. He may find he likes it better when you're not around and move to make it a permanent condition. If that happens, he's not worth the price of your return ticket. Besides, if you haven't had The Talk, no one's stopping you from staying on an extra week and having that little vacation fling with a lusty young cabana boy. If that's what you want, go for it.
My boyfriend and I had been living together for almost six months although we’ve been dating for close to 3 years. At first it was the perfect moments of our lives but along the way we started having pointless arguments and naughty attitudes toward each other. I couldn’t stand him and he always said it was because he loved me more. So he got another apartment and stopped staying with me. Now I miss him more than I ever have. We stopped fighting and eventually he invited me over for the weekend because he was dying to see me. After leaving, I missed him more and couldn’t do anything without him. He cried that he misses me more but I don’t think he does else he would have moved back in. Please any help making him miss me more than I miss him?
For years Peter had reacted to Paulette's complaints about him with defensiveness. When he did allow himself to hear information about what he was doing that troubled his wife, he'd get mad at himself.  Listening to her had escalated his agitation and distress instead of leading to learning. Now Peter decided he'd better address her concerns, beginning by writing out a list of all he could recall. "Information is power," he reminded himself to ease the sting of shame and guilt. 

On the other hand, if your relationship is more like Boris and Natasha’s, all he’s hearing is you nagging for every little thing he does. The two of you might argue often, even though you care deeply for one another. Then all he’s going to feel is pain. This will not lead to him missing you. He may, in fact, choose to get away from you as often as he can!
The penis gets all the press, but men have many erogenous zones, just like women, says psychologist Melodie Schaefer, PsyD. They just don't tell you to move your hands elsewhere because they're afraid that if they do, women will shut down and not touch them at all, she explains. "But there are many places a woman should touch, like the chest, inner thighs, and face," Schaefer adds. Another key move: Gently gripping a man's testicles, as it can be a real turn-on that blends control with release. You can also stimulate the perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus, which heightens pleasure during oral sex.
Considering the total length you've been together, you're going to need to give her quite a bit of distance to let her do whatever she feels she needs to do at this point, especially if you were her first love and she may potentially be going through a mid-life crisis. Under these circumstances, the greater you push, the more she'll resent you because if she feels this strongly about wanting her independence, she'll feel just as strongly against anyone who interferes with it.
Well, Eric Charles is the guy and he promotes the masculine behavior. For God sake, women, our message is clear what we want in a relationship. I am tired that we are always trying to please those guys and etc. The reality is that guys behave as they want and we need to adjust to their particular needs. All those articles say that we need to understand their mindset and how they function so that we could finally find a happy relationship. We basically have to play games. Men are really complicated. Women are very simple. If they want something they say. shhh!!! watch out!! If you say this, the poor guy will be frightened. He does not want to commit. Do not make love with him because he will get what he wants and again he will not want to commit. Jesus! Then, why they do not try to understand how women function and to adjust. Most men are absolutely idiots when it comes to the relationship. We women can give some classes to our sons so that at least new men generation would be more aware of the subject which is “women”.
Me and my exboyfriend have been dating for 10 months, but we had a lot of argument the past 2 months and he basically broke up with me stating that he couldn't get over the fact i wouldn't give up a relationship with a friend i spent a trip with (which nothing happened between us) and that i never loved him back the same way he did nor he felt loved or complete, saying i was unconsidered and ignorant about his feelings. After many discussions on how we could fix our relationship, he decided to give up although i refused to let him go and i insisted to work on us. At the end i couldn't convince him.
Since winning her back in the next 8 months will be beyond your control, I suggest not thinking about winning her back for now and as she's said, to simply move on for now and to just focus on yourself instead. If the relationship was a meaningful one to both parties, the opportunity would always present itself again in the future, and should you want to give it another shot at that time, then you can always consider things again.
Have you ever dated a man where everything is going perfectly and you are bonding on every level, spending all your time together, and even making plans for the future, and then poof, he’s gone?!  Well believe it or not, this is a more common scenario that you might think.  Men feel pressure just like women do, and when it comes to relationships many men take flight, before they fight.  Take a look at these 8 reasons why he might be pulling away from you — to perhaps see if you can stop it.
They stop chasing their dreams, they stop looking after themselves, they stop creating an awesome life – and they lose what it was that the woman was likely attracted to in the first place. What do you want to do with your life? What are you passionate about? What are you interested in? Keep working on those thing. Stay hungry, stay passionate, stay motivated – and stay attractive.
Your chances are definitely going to be there as long as the relationship was a meaningful one. However given his age in particular, there could be a chance that he's also exploring at this stage of life and being with someone older was simply an experience he wanted to try but still felt more comfortable at the end of the day being with someone closer to his age. Continue with no contact and after you're done, you could reach out to him to see where he stands on being friends again. You'll have to do things a step at a time starting as friends, before you're able to rebuild attraction further, so the best advice I can give you is to remain patient and avoid building up unnecessary expectations.

How to get an ex back through reverse psychology? Well you can start by engaging in their game of bluff! I hear people tell me the following all the time: “my ex says they don’t love me anymore”; or “My ex boyfriend said that he still has feelings but that it’s probably best that we stop seeing each other”; or “My ex girlfriend says that all she wants is for me to find someone else and to be happy”!
"Typically, when a relationship ends, there may be pain, sadness, or negative feelings on one side or both," says Dr. Amie Harwick, MFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist in West Hollywood. "When considering getting back with an ex, one must consider if they can work through the differences." And while we can’t directly tell you which are good reasons to get back together with an ex, it's a smart idea to consider why you got together with this person in the first place. Are those the reasons you want them back? Do they outweigh the reasons why you broke up? Then there may be reasons to proceed.
So me and my ex have been going out for ten months and about 5 days ago she said she was unhappy about how ive been treating her the last few weeks (no effort etc), i have very important exams coming up that she knew about which i need to revise for and have accidently distnaced myself from her because of them, i asked her why she didnt say anyrhing sooner and she said 'i wanted to see if anything changed' in the following 2 days she broke up with me and shes just changed her profile picture to something not with us in, she lives very far away 250 miles but i go down as often as i can to see her but its hard at the moment due to these exams and my stress, it seems all rushed and like shes serious but i dont think shes had time to rationalise it properly can you help?!

When you start dating someone you’re crazy about, you have to resist the urge to come on too strong and scare him away. It’s happened to me numerous times in the past; I’ve been too available, I haven’t let my new guy breathe and most importantly, I haven’t given him the opportunity to miss me. Needless to say, it never worked out. Don’t make the same mistakes I have—step away from the boyfriend.
Exactly Why Guys Start Acting Distant All Of A Sudden (And What To Do About It) Why Men Pull Away: 3 Easy Ways To Stop A Man From Withdrawing: Infographic The Real Reasons Men Pull Away When They Are Falling In Love How To Tell If He’s Testing You By Pulling Away From You Why Men Pull Away In The Early Stages: How To Get Your New Guy Back The Real Reasons Why Men Pull Away After Getting Close
Because he was feeling so much better about himself with his new problem-solving and listening habits, Peter was able to talk with his wife in the playful and engaging mode that had attracted her when they had first met.  Paulette was delightfully surprised.  She appreciated his clarity about the mistaken roads he had taken. She liked his vision of the new Peter.  She especially like the many ways that already he was acting in the new ways.  She felt for the first time in years that Peter was actually seeing and listening to her instead of locked in a narcissistic bubble.  

Hi Lisa! Maybe make use of a limited NC. My best advice is you need to gain more insight and smarts on how this whole ex recovery thing works. That is why I created an ebook called, Ex Recovery Pro. Go take a look. You can get there by way of my website’s Menu, click on the link for “Products.” Chances are, you just need a few good ideas to tap into! I don’t think this will unresolve itself in a quick way.These things seldom do. But over time, he needs to realize and appreciate your value in his life. He is seems to be waffling a bit about commitment issues, unsure what to do.


Have you ever dated a man where everything is going perfectly and you are bonding on every level, spending all your time together, and even making plans for the future, and then poof, he’s gone?!  Well believe it or not, this is a more common scenario that you might think.  Men feel pressure just like women do, and when it comes to relationships many men take flight, before they fight.  Take a look at these 8 reasons why he might be pulling away from you — to perhaps see if you can stop it.
Yesterday, I asked her how she felt cause it felt like things were up in the air. She told me "I dont think its up in the air. I thought I was clear". The. we got into a fight about it. She said she couldnt just not talk to me anymore and that I meant way too much to her to do that and that she'll stop talking to me since it was confusing. I told her that it doesnt feel like I truly meant the world to her and that I deserved another chance and that we should just talk it out. She replied after work saying "we already talked" and I just told her "Youre right. Take care of yourself" and she said the same back.
"Regardless of what you've heard, realize that guys can indeed be 'just friends' with other girls. Some women can get really jealous for no reason. Some think there's no such thing as a platonic relationship with another girleither one or the other of you wants to hook up. It's important for them to know that those relationships can and do exist with the opposite sex. Don't drive yourself crazy over them." KC I.
my ex boyfriend and i were together for almost two years when he broke up with me. he said he needed space and i didnt give it to him abd he was stressed about money and work. he said he wasnt happy and that there is no chance of getting back together. post break up i was really desperate texting him and calling. we work together so we have to see each other and he gives me a lot of mixed signals but he is flirting with another girl. please help me get him back
My so called boyfriend lived away from his home for 15 years. Since September he decided to come back home and create a new life here, which i get it’s not easy at all. Meanwhile we met 1 month ago and everything was going perfect we met every day and talked all the time when we weren’t together he even told me that I was helping him not to give up and get back where he used to live.
You need a bit of mystery to get him to miss you, this is something not to forget. If you’re an avid social media user, don’t update your status too frequently, limit the number of pictures you share, and pause on the Facebook quizzes for the time being. Or if you want to take a Facebook quiz go ahead but just don't share the results, as that can be very annoying for anyone on your newsfeed. Additionally, don’t interact with your special guy on social media. If he posts a status or picture, don’t comment or even like the post. Did he share a story on Snapchat? Resist viewing it. Maintain the image that you’re too busy to obsess about his social media activity. It could be hard to do because he looks so cute in his latest Insta photo but you’ll have to be strong. Resist him now and he’ll be yours later!
Another point, which is quite stereotypical, is owning nice undergarments. It doesn't have to be super-fancy lingerie, but a nice matching set of lace underwear and bra go a long way. While my boyfriend doesn't care much, he is always pleasantly surprised when I have something special waiting under my casual clothes. He notices every time. In general, I think French women are more intentional about their personal care, including what they wear underneath their clothes, and this is definitely appreciated by French men. And women should do it for themselves, too!"
Hello, my Girlfriend and I Broke up sept 28 2018, before our anniversary. we end our relationship very smoothly but. at the same day. she start calling and texted me. and I answered it.. and after in a few hours. she didn't event answer my call or text. then I persuade her. but i stop it in a few day. then our anniversary (oct.5) I tried to invite her, and give another chance, yet she said no.. I didn't enjoy my getaway. I thought just a glimpse I can forget her or not able to think about her.. but no... after my getaway. I go to her place and beg, to be together again. and I kneel to her. cry like a pathetic loser, and tried to attempt suicide in front of her and hit my head at the wall.. then she mentioned that she already have someone that she like and understand her she kick me out in her place without any sign of emotions and told me that she will call a cop for bothering her.. and I left her and still begging.
Two months ago I met a man. We were so attracted to each other that it all happened so fast, on the first date. He warned me that he didn’t want a relationship… I did my best to listen to his feelings, show understanding and get some intimacy and we eventually got close and started meeting every week. I was sleeping over at his house, we were having good time, having sex, doing normal things like cooking and spending the whole weekend together. I knew he had a very problematic past – a father who never married his mother or took any responsibility, a brother from another mother who caused him problems, personal problems with drugs in the past and two broken relationships with 1) bulimic anorexic girl and 2) a girl who cheated on him 10 months ago. I was so good to listen, give him the peace he needed and be very patient with him.
Long relationships may often end without a major argument or issue, but simply because the spark was lost and both parties just ended up fading into the background. It's good that you have goals to regain your self-confidence and independence, and usually, this would trigger emotions on your ex's end to reminisce about what he has lost, especially when it's made apparent.
Hi Tanisha….it is unclear just how invested he is in the relationship. Perhaps one way to find out is to utilize No Contact. You should take a look at a book I wrote called, Ex Recovery Pro. In it I offer a blueprint on all the things you should consider and do. You can learn more about it in my website’s Menu Section under “Products”. It may help you with the path you should take.
A lot of people think that when they implement Radio Silence (No contact) with their Ex Bf, that it is all about denying them or punishing them.  But that is not it at all.  It is really about allowing your Ex Boyfriend time to get over his anger and resentment and sort through his feelings.  Make no mistake, bitterness is usually just hovering over a break up couple and your guy might be holding on to his fair share. So allow for some space.  Once the ugly thoughts are out of his mind, the good thoughts and memories will eventually return as he will most assuredly start missing you, sometimes terribly.
It would really depend on the type of person he is, but perhaps for now just go with NC as found in our articles, and focus on loving yourself first. Pick yourself up from the breakup, and if he contacts you again it would be a bonus. Sometimes a guy doesn't know what he's lost until he's actually lost it, and desperately comes back, but other times they just end up not thinking about it and may have even decided to move on the moment the breakup happens. As I've said, it would really depend on how he is as a person - that would determine what he does.
By the way, the best results I've seen for people with abusive anger is with the energy therapy techniques of Bradley Nelson, which Dale Petterson in my office does for my clients. It's quite amazing how these techniques seem to pull the anger out by the roots....though multiple interventions plus conventional couple and individual treatment have to be part of the treatment strategy.
Commit to having a better relationship. If your ex-boyfriend takes you back, you both need to take steps to make sure that the same problems that caused your last breakup will not interfere with your relationship again. Talk to each other about what kinds of conflicts you have had in the past and how you could deal with them more appropriately going forward.[9]
It may be early days in this might-be-a-relationship, but practicing independence early on sets a good precedence. Dr. John Gottman, relationship expert and author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, stresses the importance of autonomy in a relationship. Having different interests, friends, and activities make for a more balanced couple.
My girlfriend of 2 years dumped me in August 24th, basically because we had no communication. I didn't make the mistakes and give her space. Two weeks ago she text me saying she misses my dog and ask to see him. She keeps texting me bringing some dramas as well, but I'm not reacting at all (maybe because I don't care). The fact is, I still want her back, I just find It's hard to contact her because she is already contact me. I feel like she's testing me. What can I do? ps: I'm in 40 days of no contact
Risk factor: Medium to high. If he's a jerk, he may look at this as an opportunity for some bed-hopping, single-guy abandon. He may find he likes it better when you're not around and move to make it a permanent condition. If that happens, he's not worth the price of your return ticket. Besides, if you haven't had The Talk, no one's stopping you from staying on an extra week and having that little vacation fling with a lusty young cabana boy. If that's what you want, go for it.
My boyfriend and I had been living together for almost six months although we’ve been dating for close to 3 years. At first it was the perfect moments of our lives but along the way we started having pointless arguments and naughty attitudes toward each other. I couldn’t stand him and he always said it was because he loved me more. So he got another apartment and stopped staying with me. Now I miss him more than I ever have. We stopped fighting and eventually he invited me over for the weekend because he was dying to see me. After leaving, I missed him more and couldn’t do anything without him. He cried that he misses me more but I don’t think he does else he would have moved back in. Please any help making him miss me more than I miss him?
Hey! I’m 19& I may have a crush on this guy who approached me in WhatsApp! I was distant at first cuz that’s what I’m like with strangers ,especially guys, who tries to talk to me even when I make it clear that I don’t want to have a conversation with them. But now its been two months and turns out he is not some stranger, he is in same college as me and we have two out of four classes together.

I’m sure that you’ve heard the saying the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence quite a few times before. It is very very relevant to love and relationships as well. After being with someone for a long time it is easy to be tempted by something new or to get bored! Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you can easily find someone better!

And so I got ready while he was checking his email on the computer, pretending that I was going out and he ask if I'm going some where and I said yes. And then I tease him a bit about his hair since he havnt. After that he said I looked happy and I said I am, that stuff got shift these pass weeks. And when he came out the gate walking on the road he said it again that I looked happy and I said I am. And so since he doesn't have FB I texted him suggesting he get a fb account and add me, personally it would have been good if he saw some stuff I posted. Anyway he respond and said ''U look happy and like u trying to take care of yourself that's good. And no thanks i don't like fb. I forgot to ask does my friend mother still have that place for rent?" "I hate being by the apartment feel like a kid there. i just need a place and some time to myself to let out my rage and sadness the way i want I've been holding back since they in the house all the time " I did something stupid, so my cousin and been searching net and she found something called the Second chance letter and so I wrote one and gave him when he came to pick up some of his clothing. I wrote it just as explained, saw a sample and did it that way, In the beginning I put that I accepted the break up and then apologize that I didn't showed that I appreciated him and then the part stating that good things been happening and someday would like to tell him about it but right now we both still needing space. The next day in the morning, he texted and said he read it and doesn't mind sitting down and talking someday. Then in the night he sent a text asking me if he can ask me something and I said okay sure. "Why do u want me back? What is it about me that u love so much? and he feels like he wasn't doesn't his best as a partner as well. I respond to him that it would be best to talk in person about it when he is ready and then I g...


Im in the current situation right now… He wants space for me being paranoid for past few weeks.. I really dont know wat to do, he is so busy and stressed from work.. He asked for space, i ask him if he is breaking up with me he said no he just need time and space for the meantime… Need your advice please… I dont want us to be apart i really love him..
Our relationships provide us with a mirror, which reflects back to us who we are. We are given opportunities to learn where we’re not loving ourselves, areas for development and how we show up in life. To significantly enhance your relationship success you must be willing and open to learn and develop relationship skills. Knowing who you are and what you want from and for your life will help you to communicate more effectively and recognize opportunities, people and signs that are in alignment with your vision for your life. It’s also easier to identify when things are not in alignment and you will be in a better position to turn away from them.
Claudia is the creator of Text Weapon, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She is passionate about modern communication and loves helping people improve their relationships through creative texting. To read more by Claudia, visit Text Weapon. Don’t forget to sign up for the FREE Texting Club trial with over 300 messages. You can also hit her up on Twitter.
Advice from a male perspective anyone? I am dating a man who is 11 years older, I’m 26 and he is 37. He works out in the ocean and a lot of times we have minimal conversation via text/call. But when we are together everything is great and we get along very well. When he doesn’t have to wake in the wee ours or work out of town, he is with me every single weekend. We have been together six months and I have met all his close friends and friends kids. I have done well so far in respecting his space and he respects mine also. When he’s a weekend away with his guy friends, I am understanding and just ask him to contact me once when he is back in town so he feels he is not missing out on what he loves. However, this past weekend he had a sailboat race on the weekend which he let me know in advance and we made had plans for friday night. He reached out friday night saying that turns out he had to be at the venue in the wee hours so he would not be able to make our plans. I was emotionally unstable that weekend due to some work stress and family leaving so I needed him the most that friday. I did not think of my actions and instead of politely rescheduling for Monday, I blew him up – sent him various texts showing how I did not appreciate he canceled although it wasn’t his fault. I called numerous times in the weekend and texted many times while he was supposed to have time with his friends in the tournament. On Sunday I was so desperate that I passed by his house. His roommate was there and told me he hand’t come home yet. Since I blew him up friday, I have had no response to any of my texts nor has he answered any of my calls. I am very afraid that I scared him away and threatened his freedom. I also came out as desperate for going to his place. Today is Wednesday and I hadn’t reached out till Sunday. I sent him a very short/casual text today apologizing for taking out my stress on him and for not letting him have his space, to which I got no response. I am going to wait a few days and hopefully he will come around, as our relationship has matured and he’s told me how much he cares for me. Did I blow this up completely since it has been 4 days with no response?
HW (Helen), I'm so happy to hear those books and resources were helpful to you in a difficult time. I'd have to know more about the relationship to give you a more confident answer but if you feel like there was a big enough bond between you in the first place, then you could always try sending this letter. Worst case scenario, he doesn't respond and you've got a clear answer so that you can move on. Hope this helped!
Hi Andilla, Definitely, I've seen this work to bring couples back together! That's why I wrote the blog. This is the technique my dad, John Gray, has been teaching with success for over 30 years helping couples reunite. It's not going to work for every relationship - but this is the step I recommend people take if you want your ex back. No one wants to get back into a relationship that doesn't work…people want change, they want assurance of change so that they can trust you again and build something better. When it comes to friends with your ex? That depends on the relationship. :-)...
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Hi! I was dating this guy (unofficially because we never really discussed labels) for about a month. He’d text me every single day and we’d talk for hours. We had amazing chemistry and common interests. He said he found me very interesting and he’d always ask so many questions about me. We hung out a handful of times and had a great time together (no sex -although we did get somewhat “intimate” during our last date). After I got home that day I sent him a message along the lines of “I’m not a F**k buddy” because it seemed to me in that moment that all he wanted was to get physical. I immediately regretted the message because I realized how mean and out of the blue it’d seem to him (plus, he hadn’t really treated me like someone just you want to sleep with). However, he read the message before I could delete it from the WhatsApp conversation and everything changed at that point. He got upset and shot down, I panicked and sent him more messages and called him about 6-7 times during the 24 hours that followed. I wanted to verbally apologize so badly. When he finally answered after two days he told me that he “wasn’t as interested as he was before” and that he had ended longer relationships because of the way someone spoke to him. He also said he missed his friends (he works a lot and only has free time on the weekends) so he’d prefer to hang out with them. He said we could still hang out because he finds me a very “unique girl” but essentially made it sound like it’d no longer be a priority of his. Hearing all of this broke me in pieces because I really like him and any form of rejection is always hard. I didn’t yell or call him names or anything, I just apologized and told him I understood what he was saying. After that conversation I did no contact for 10 days (fearing that doing it longer would not be a good thing since our relationship had only been going on for a month) and then reached out to him via Instagram message. The message was short and relevant (about some interest of his) and he replied immediately, we engaged in some conversation via message about some things I’m doing at the moment .. and then that was it. I reached out again after two days with another “non threatening” text about some specific thing I’m doing now during my vacation.. but this time he didn’t reply, it’s been a whole day and he hasn’t even seen the message (Instagram shows that the message has not been seen). So now I don’t know if I did too much by initiating that second attempt to reach him. I’m really lost because most of the advice I’ve seen out there focuses mostly on couples who’ve been going out for longer than just a month.


Fake it til you make it should never apply to a relaitonship. Building a relationship especially a commited relationship on a lie is never a good start. If the foundation is shaky, so will the entire relationshiop be. Do not try to use crafty tricks that will make him think twice and stay with you. This means using the age old pregnancy trick wont do. Just be yoursekf and see where that takes you. Maybe you might even be surprised by the outcome more than you had imagined.
Think about why you want him back. Breakups are never easy, even when the relationship was not a good fit. For this reason, it's crucial to think about your motives for wanting to get your boyfriend back. If you want to get back together because you are sad or lonely or don't like being single, you should probably reconsider. Just because you miss your ex does not mean you should be with him. These feelings will go away eventually, although it may take some time. If you want to get back together because you genuinely care for your ex and you can see yourself having a future with him, then go ahead and try to get him back![2]
One thing that you always need to keep in mind is that you shouldn’t go looking for your old relationship in the new guy. If you keep on looking for similarities, then you will end up with someone who is completely like your ex. This is definitely not going to work in your favor. Instead of this, you should look for qualities that you would like your ideal boyfriend to have.

This may or may not work, but I think it’s your best shot given the distance issue. The Philippines is overrun with women that like Western men anyway so even if she doesn’t come through, I’m sure you can meet other women anyway, maybe online. That can be the backup plan and you may find someone that you like even better when over there. So, that’s what I would do!
Similarly, Ive seen my brother go through something similar. He did the exact thing with his current girlfriend, he moved out for a week to retreat after a minor conflict, and she was so upset, leaving presents at the door and calling me to find out if he was ok etc. I had to tell her to stop and give him space. He came around, I didnt pressure him and didnt go into it much. But the up side is that he’s still with her now.
I think you’re focusing WAY too much on him and what he’s feeling. You’re focusing on the fear you have of losing him rather than focusing on your happiness. You have to ask yourself how you feel about yourself in this relationship as is. Do you feel your confidence, or do you feel insecure? No man is worth being with if you feel insecure. And if you do feel it, you have to change your dynamic and approach so you can get that confidence back. A man LOVES a confident woman, and you’ll feel better about yourself being confident, anyway. The way to get confident and attract him or any other man to you is by focusing on YOURSELF. You need to make sure you’re happy on your own before you can be happy with a man. This doesn’t mean you need to be single to get happy—just have a fulfilling life for yourself outside of a man. Don’t let him be the ONLY valuable thing or person you have in your life. You need to be excited about more in your day than your bf. You have to have other things going for you that make you happy. Once you can sustain happiness without the need of a man, you’ll have your confidence and this will be attractive to other men (and possibly your ex). The key is to not lose the focus on YOU even when you do get into a relationship or the relationship deepens. NEVER lose sight of your happiness. You need to continue having a fulfilling life outside of HIM. Once you start losing that grasp on yourself and get more caught up within the relationship, you’ll start to depend on him for your happiness—and he’ll withdraw again. Even if he withdrew for other reasons, chasing after him as if you can’t live without him will only push him away further. If he is a good man who is emotionally available and TRULY wants you, I promise he will come back. You don’t chase him, you don’t contact him. Let him contact you. Give him the chance to miss you. This can take anywhere from a couple weeks to a year or more. It’s however long it takes him to miss you, IF he truly wants you (took my guy 8 months). In the meantime, you don’t wait on him. You focus on yourself and getting your happiness and confidence. Fill your life with people and hobbies you love. Try new things you haven’t tried before. Change jobs if the one you have makes you miserable. Do what you need to do to give yourself a fulfilling life. Make sure you have your days full of plans so you don’t give yourself the chance to sit and mope about your breakup. That’s not going to help you. You need to show yourself how great life can be, even if he’s not in it. If he never reaches out, then he doesn’t truly want you—and why would you want someone who doesn’t want you as much as you want them? Don’t wait around for him. Focus on you. He will come back if he truly wants you, and you have to continue to focus on yourself even if he does. If he doesn’t come back, you’re going to be fine because you’re nurturing your happiness and confidence. PLEASE don’t lose sight of yourself, ever. It’s your golden ticket to happiness and to a great man who will love and respect you.
I won't go into the reasons we broke up. But our relationship just seemed to come to a natural end. After being friends for 10 years and then finally getting together, our lives had been running parallel for so long and then one day, we were just off in different directions. We were young, and had other shit going on that at the time that was more important than our relationship.

My ex broke up with me two weeks ago, because of a text I sent him AND he broke up with me over the phone. We have broken up maybe ten times already this year and I am honestly so drained. He is extremely controlling, jealous, possessive, obsessive and verbally and mentally abusive. But HE broke up with me after I put up with all those horrible traits he has. But for some reason, this break up hit me real hard. HEs not the same guy I met in the beginning and I’m starting to think THIS is really who he is. He said he won’t change and that there is nothing wrong with him and that this is all my fault. I have become obsessive like him and I’m feeling so lonely and sad, over someone who once even called me a whore because he has zero trust in me, and I have always been honest and loyal to him. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to get out of the house and do things that I like but I’m feeling a little depressed over it. I don’t know he still has this much power over me. I even called him crying and screaming telling him I’m having a hard time over this break up and I think he’s getting a kick out of it. I feel like he stole my mojo cuz I used to be so tough in the beginning. Now .... I lost my female balls and I feel like I will never find someone again who will love me like he did. But why would I want someone to love me the way he did when clearly it was a toxic love. Any advice on how I can get myself back? I’m more concerned about getting my balls back rather then him. I apologize for the language but this is the best way I can’t describe what I feel. He controlled me so much that even without him I still feel like I’m under his control. Any advice please?!


Why is it that when a girl and a guy break up, the girl spends weeks missing him, but he seems to move on within a millisecond? It isn’t fair. It isn’t right. Why should he get to walk away and instantly start to rebuild his life, when you’re stuck at home wishing that he’d call? He shouldn’t. You need to do something about it. You need to make him miss you, just as much as you’re missing him, but how can you do that? How can you make a guy miss you, when it was him who broke up with you in the first place?


I know, your natural instinct is to help him, nurture him and figure out what the problem is when he’s acting weird.  But this is male behavior and it’s driving him in the opposite direction.  You instincts are to communicate more, but what he ultimately wants is to communicate less.  He wants to feel something and the best way to do that is to give him the gift of missing you.
It works better with guys you know in real life, but if you’re having trouble getting started then pick your favorite actor. The important part is that you do this once per day, and that you really stick with it. It might not seem like it’s doing much at first, but in reality it’s detoxing your mind consciously and unconsciously from your ex, and putting you in a much better mental state.
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