One additional thought. You might want to check out my post on infusing your interactions with positivity. It's not just moths that are drawn to light. See http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201207/10-ways-radiate-positivity-and-be-attractive. Maximize the positives in your interactions, delete the negatives like criticism or irritated emotions, and the odds will be likely to shift in your favor.
I hope you enjoyed this post and can take away a lot of helpful tips and advice for your current and future relationships! If you have any comments, questions, or any more tips of your own, please comment below and share them! I’m sure many of our experts will be more than happy to respond back and keep the conversation going! Also, if you love articles like this, sign up for our Elite Man Newsletter and get all of our best articles, podcasts, tips, and advice completely free!
WOW! WOW! WOW! Guys, seriously this article should be preached (especially the fourteenth one haha). My boyfriend and I are together for two years now and he’s taking me to prom this year. So excited I’m gonna pass out!!! He’s a pretty tough guy and you gotta have patience with him, but he sure knows how to pull some romance tricks on me like flowers before school or my biggest addiction – chocolate. And now I can pay him back.
You only just met this guy, and he made it clear he wasn’t leaving. You were still in the honeymoon/ infatuation phase when you left. He sounds like he really liked you, but he was right o keep it light when that’s where you two were when you left. Had you stayed and got to know each other better, you would have found out whether you two were really compatible/ on the same level, etc.
Your chances are definitely going to be there as long as the relationship was a meaningful one. However given his age in particular, there could be a chance that he's also exploring at this stage of life and being with someone older was simply an experience he wanted to try but still felt more comfortable at the end of the day being with someone closer to his age. Continue with no contact and after you're done, you could reach out to him to see where he stands on being friends again. You'll have to do things a step at a time starting as friends, before you're able to rebuild attraction further, so the best advice I can give you is to remain patient and avoid building up unnecessary expectations.
Why is this the easiest? Well it doesn’t have as many core problems as other circumstances, like for instance getting a girl back from another guy. That’s harder. You only broke up due to distance, meaning that the attraction she feels for you is still present. In fact it might even have increased, since women get off on desiring what they can’t have (you). Even if it seems impossible, it can be done.
So often women get caught up with forcing the men in their lives to do what they want they fail to find suitable time to establish of that is what they too really want deep down. Time is spent scheming, evaluating and charting plans of action that they dream will end in a lifelong commitment that they faail to think ahead if they will be truly happy. Having him commit is one asoect of it but what about you? Do you really want the commitment? Is he what you want or are you motivated to have him commit simply because he wasn't a willing candidate. You see like men, women are just as competitive, we sometimes want simply because we cannot have. Look at the relationship and outline why you want him to commit and see if your reasons are justified.
my ex and i met 2 years ago. as with most relationships we started off really well, it was intense and passionate and we were really close emotionally and physically. we are gay, in a long distance relationship, we live about 4 hours apart which actually worked well for us. cos he's busy with college and i'm busy with work and we meet about once or twice a month either in his city or in my city.
Spend time doing the things you enjoy, catch up with friends, read a good book, go for a good long walk, watch your favourite movie, take up a new hobby, do whatever it takes to distract your mind temporarily. He may just need a little space and really, there is nothing wrong with that, as long as that is all that it is. If you feel this guy has lost interest or does not value you for who you are, then trust your gut feeling and be grateful for whatever good you have received from the meeting, say a silent thank you for the time spent and the lessons and turn all of your attentions to yourself. Realise that you never need someone else to validate you, make you happy, or make you feel worthwhile. You can do all of that for yourself.
Remember that he needs to earn your commitment just as much as you need to earn his. This doesn’t mean that you need to put him through some kind of Hunger Games process and set him a list of challenges that he must complete in order to win your commitment (although that seems like a lot of fun), it means that he must shows sign that he loves such as listening to you, being a support, makes you feel like a million bucks and does things for you.
(40 year old male/35 year old girlfriend/six year relationship that had two previous breaks) I broke up with my ex girlfriend in April. We lived together a year but fought often over our differences. She’s messy, I am clean. She pushed aggressively for marriage but I wanted to work through some of our problems first. She moved out but we remained in contact because I babysit her 4 year old. In September I made it known I still love her and wanted to try again. But because of the fights and because I was pretty mean to her towards the end she was not interested and moved on. She’s now with a new boyfriend (shoe she says she gets along better with) and possibly living with him. I got therapy and fixed things with myself but made the mistake of coming off as desperate. I sent a couple lengthy emails expressing how much I value her and how things would be different and a good amount of texts. I have since backed off. What do you think is the best course of action considering we broke up on such bad terms? She’s super negative about how she remembers things but when I asked if she would ever consider giving us a chance if things didn’t work out she said she would. What are your thoughts
Julia you hit the nail on the head I feel the same way .too many times i have heard its all the woman”s fault let him have his pity party while we set back and feel like crap because they cant handle emotions .well personally i think men should stand up and face things they are no more emotional then we are we need space and time too but do they let us? yes by never coming back because they didnt get the cake and eat it too so they go on to the next and next and the first poor women is left picking up the peaces while him and new women are flying high .i think we need to stop babying them
i want my ex back but right now to forget him i have a boy.And after he left me i had relationships with many.i feel lost. i just want him back to me.But now when i message him he just don’t care.but i see him sometimes looking at me.i am lost. Please help me.Hes ignoring me. I said him that i wanna tell him something important and i wanna meet him but he said cant meet just message if not go.is it right if i meet up him and tell him that i wanna him back and i will make my mistake forget the past and well be happy again pleas help me please.