I broke up with my ex approximately 3 and a half months ago. About 5 weeks ago she began dating a new guy and apparently things are perfect between them. I want her back. I realized that I’d be missing out on the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. She and I had something great and I was just too immature to realize what I had. I tried reconnecting with her 2 weeks ago for about 10 days and it went horribly. During this time she would tell me constantly how well things are going in her new relationship and post her happiness on social media. I’ve been through the begging, nagging, desperation and buying gifts staged as they’ve gotten me nowhere and now am in the No Contact phase however she’s called me 3 times in a weeks time and each time blaming it on an accident or her phone messing up. She will not try to continue conversation or anything even after I’ve texted her the obvious, “I’m here for you if you need a friend or anything” and “Is everything okay”, so I guess I keep resetting my progress for the No Contact phase. What do I do next? The only thing I want in life is to have her back.

Hi Lauren, I have a question that is related in a big way, but not too related in others. You mentioned the concept of men doing the pursuing and women doing the recieving. I'm on my 4th Mars Venus book - Mars and Venus on a Date - and I noticed that this is a huge theme in the book. So my question is: What do you do if a guy gives you his number and says "call/text me"? When I first met my ex, I felt like I was pursuing him a bit because this is the way he approached me. We met working on a project, but to build off of our newfound friendship I attempted to flirt and create the opportunity for him to pursue me. We dated for about a year and I thought he could have been the one - until recently when we hit a wall in communicating that I felt I had to end it (since then I've been educating myself through therapy and Mars Venus books!). But, while at the time I never questioned the success/failure in me doing some reaching out, looking back now I'm wondering if that's something I could have done differently? The problem is, I wouldn't know how! It's a tricky situation. What happened was, like I said, he gave me his number (without me asking for it) and said to contact him. So I did and it went well! Then for our first date, from what I remember, I suggested that it would be nice to get to know eachother more. He told me to let him know when I wanted to go out. I pushed back this time and insisted that he should be the one asking me out, but he refused. To refrain from more back and forth, I planned the date. After that he became much more assertive and started asking me out and presenting me with ideas. But I'll be honest, I was a little turned off at his insecurity at first. He later told me he wanted to ask me out but was just very nervous, so I decided not to dwell on it and just appreciate that it worked out despite how it happened. But because I didn't want to do the pursuing, how would I have gotten him to do it?
That's when it can be helpful for him to hear compliments both in and out of the bedroom. Mintz suggests starting outside the bedroom, when you can have what she calls a "kitchen table sex talk" — AKA a lower-stakes time to discuss things that are bothering you in the bedroom without having to be "in the moment" of, well, having sex. That's when your partner can talk about what pressures he's feeling, or what he's self-conscious about. Then, you can boost his confidence.
Peter discovered that if he wanted to talk with his wife, he would get the best results if he asked from a stance of self-respect. He tried asking if she would meet him for coffee. She replied, "Sure!" In fact, the groveling and self-deprecation that Peter had learned as a child were the opposite of what his wife wanted. The more confidently he addressed her, the more positively she responded.
He opened an instagram account, which he never did before and it really feels like I lost all chances Ive ever had. His life is going great. He's rebuilding himself and really succeeds at everything. He has so much girls around him now and I am the last thing he could ever think about. I tried to text him since, tried to send some "positive texts" to remind him of how great it was, but he went really cold and distant. I am really despaired. It has been already 3 months. Our birthdays are coming. Mine is on the 31st August and his on september 1st. And I just feel so crushed. I have no idea how am i going to spend it... While hes gonna go with all his friends which hate me and are so happy we broke up!
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...
This is probably the most comprehensive free road map on how to get back with an ex available on the internet today. Our goal is to provide you with a free resource that can enable you to know exactly what you need to do, no matter what situation you encounter; to prove to the person you love that you’re the one that can make them happy in the long haul and to help them fulfill their dreams!
It's likely that the long distance relationship ended up causing him to have other emotional/physical needs not being fulfilled which was why he started talking to someone else which he mentioned was completely out of character for him. I suggest telling him to find himself again and to consider if you think that you could make the situation work until at least when you come back. If not, it might be a better idea to walk away for the time being. Having expectations not being met would cause bigger disappointments and hurt than not having these expectations in the first place.
Ex got mad during no contact. I'm currently on day 2 of no contact and she just started a fight about why I suddenly wanted to stop talking. I told her I needed space to set my mind straight. Just like I already explained before breaking contact. Still she said that I'm awful for playing her emotions like this. Since I said I wanted to keep post breakup contact and then a day later I found out about no contact 30 days and decided to try it. So I said no more contact after all. She ended up deleting me from social media. What do I do? What if after no contact is done she's still mad? Then I can't initiate the next step of casually contacting her followed by asking her out for coffee.
#7 Withdraw if they seem too hesitant. Not much will make a guy commit faster than the fear of losing you if they don’t. However, you can’t give them an ultimatum. Just simply stop talking as much if he starts showing you he’s not ready to commit. This might scare him into realizing how much you really mean to him. [Read: 15 ways to get a man to chase you and fall hard]
btw I got stuck in this funny situation I don’t know if it’s possible but can you or your staff delete my comment stating my story ( on august 19, 2018) ? A friend of mine is suggesting this site for me and I’m too afraid that she may read my comment here she will instantly know it’s me .. Im so totally busted if that happens hahahaha pretty please help mee all of my NC plan will go to nothing if this happen cause she’s pretty close to my ex and I can’t really trust her mouth LOL..
Keep the mystery alive. When they just start seeing someone, why do some gals bombard guys with questions and try to learn everything about them straight away? If you do this, you’ll know everything about each other too soon and there’ll be nothing left to find out. Don’t ask too many questions right away and don’t offer information about yourself unless he asks. The chase will be more interesting for him this way.
Hello, My GF of 3 months just broke up with me. We really liked each other, but I made a mistake of kissing another girl 2 weeks into college. She's back home and I think she just started seeing someone. I really like this girl is there any way I could potentially get back with her? I'm assuming she has lost all trust in me and since I'm miles away at college that she will easily forget about me, but I don't really know.
These 3 steps are based on simple psychological techniques that work extremely well after a breakup. It’s not some mind tricks and cheap gimmicks that you will use to trick your ex into getting back together. If you are planning to trick your ex or force them into being with you, you are just going to end up in another miserable breakup. This guide will teach you how to start a new relationship with your ex; a relationship that actually has a chance of being a long lasting healthy relationship. Not the same old one which ended in this breakup.

The best relationship advice I have for men is to understand how important communication is. Problems and cracks can often start to appear between two people when things aren’t being communicated. Often these issues, niggles or situations can be sorted – but only if you are both honest in a way that is respectful to each other. Men should also understand that being listened to is so important for women. If your partner tells you something is bothering them, even if it seems completely unreasonable to you, hear her out and don’t get defensive.
my ex and i broke up a couple of months ago. He broke up with me because he did not want a relationship anymore and i cheated on him. We dated for almost two years..After our break up he wanted to be friends and i didn’t. i want to be more and this kept going back and forth. We did hu a couples of times and he would say i love you. He said he wanted something more but not a relationship and not exclusive. I told we can talk to be something or we don’t talk anymore so we agreed on not talking.. We were on good terms and we said i love you and stop talking for a few days. But i texted and he said he doesn’t want to talk to me and he doesn’t want to be friends anymore.. so i need advice should i just give him time and see what happens? what should i do? I still have feeling for this guy and i don’t know if he even does.
The only way to have a good relationship is if you demand a good relationship from him. If you don’t and give him everything he wants in an attempt to get him back, you’re sabotaging the relationship and destroying your chances with him. Not to mention, completely undervaluing yourself, which will deeply impact your self-esteem. Now I don’t mean you say, “Give me a good relationship or else!” It’s not an actual demand. You “demand” it by being a woman of value, by being a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to walk away if she’s not getting it. You don’t have to say anything at all, it just comes across.
4. We are sad. And yes, men pull away when we are being sad or feeling down for some reason. We are waiting for you to come and ask “what’s wrong” and give us a hug. But if you don’t come we pull away even more. And more. And more until you come or we end up feeling that you don’t care about us. Men love empathic and loving womens. Even when we don’t admit it. Even most strongest alpha male wants to feel loved and cared when he feels weak and if you show us that you care we will love you forever. Seriously this isn’t a lie. Most simplest way to make a man stay true to you or love you is just to make him feel cared. Give him a hug when he needs it, tell him sometimes he still looks handsome and cool even when he’s getting older etc. I know that there is douchebags who will betray you no matter what you do or leave you, but real men want the same thing you do: to have that one loving partner in their life who makes them feel cared and loved every day.

Since you started no contact in late September, it would probably be better to wait another week at least before you reach out to thank her for sending your stuff. You could use that opportunity to start a conversation with her and if she responds positively, continue towards building up a level of comfort and attraction between the two of you again. Use the guidelines in our other articles to help you along your way.
Plan surprise dates, leave her sweet notes, tell her she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, and send her flowers for no reason at all. If you were in shape when you first met her, make an effort to stay that way. Often times these things go out the window after the first six months or year (and it’s probably no coincidence that sex starts to become less frequent around the same time).
You may have felt like you were in the honeymoon stage, but different people come out of it after different time periods, so he may have no longer been in that phase already. Some guys can be like this (especially if they haven't many relationships before), where they think too logically and realistically, and aren't able to actually put themselves into an emotional sense of understanding their female partners better. You might honestly want to consider moving on and dating someone else, because he has seemed to disconnected himself from you already, and may have even moved on the moment he broke up with you.
If a guy agrees to accompany you to a friend’s wedding, he is showing another ‘first’. Watching your friend taking her wedding vows brings you closer as a couple as it sets the man thinking. Shah says, “Attending social functions together signifies making a relationship public. It also builds dreams of staying together and how you want to go about it. Attending any serious function together means the relationship is actually moving from being carefree to committed.”

You don’t have to hang out with him all the time. You should also catch up with your friends often. Plan a girls’ night out or a girl’s trip, then share to him some fun moments with your friends. After spending a few days away from him, he may be happy you’re having a good time but he will also become jealous. If he sees how much fun you’re having, he’s going to want to come along on your next adventure. This way, you can also balance out the equation and do something without him which will ultimately make him miss you.

You need to understand that a relationship is all about balance. From investing, energy, time and effort to being completely present, be it physically or emotionally, you need to able to discern if something is wrong with you. If you are holding yourself back and not expressing yourself completely or overcompensating for your partner’s lack of reciprocity, then you need to reassess the situation.
I want my girlfriend back beautiful message girl in Merimbula and cute and funny and guy make smile and laugh and better things to say that I love you Ada Baker biggest love heart hot and sexy girlfriend and her beautiful person my brother and Trisha getting in Engaged wedding on 14th April next year church so I love my girlfriend so i gotta love to her help me with any of the world very much
The best new boyfriend advice is to drop any effort on your part to close that space. Resist the temptation to ask him what’s wrong or to step up your efforts in order to get a response from him. Don’t call him or email him or drop by his place. Let him make the choice to come to you. When he does, it also makes you feel better. It makes you feel desired by him.

How to make him commit to a relationship, you might be wondering? You have decided that it is time to stop playing games and get serious with the man in your life but he might be putting up a resistance. Stack up some tips up your sleeves, and he’ll be ready for a long-term relationship in no time. Stop wondering how to get him to commit to a relationship and read these awesome tips, but primarily, guidelines on how to get a guy to commit is really not that hard, that is if HE really wants to.
Your man may be withdrawing because he feels like you’re pressuring him to move the relationship along more quickly than he’s comfortable with. If this is the case, there’s a clear and obvious new boyfriend advice you need to take: back off. To stop a man from withdrawing because he’s feeling rushed, you have to let things calm down and create the opportunity for the relationship to develop at a pace that feels good for both of you.
So when your lady is stressed, just let her vent.  When she starts into it, give her good eye contact, show concern, support and ask her…”Do you want me to listen right now or do you want me to help you solve this?”  She will tell you what she wants and you need to stay true to her request.  Make sure she has said everything she wants to by asking, “Is there anything else you need to tell me? Do this and you’ll create amazing connections with the women in your life.

“I recently got back in touch with my ex and we’re trying to make it work again. What I felt really helped me through the process was the no contact rule for at least three months and truly working on yourself and learning to find happiness outside of the relationship. I got involved with different hobbies, such as sports/working out to make myself feel good, as well as go back to salsa dancing which was something I love to do.”
I met this guy on holiday and when we both returned to our prospective countries ( 1-1.5 hrs away by plane) we stayed in contact with each other. Over the last 6 months I’ve used your tips whenever he pulls away emotionally ie not texting back or initiating conversation and it works really well. The problem is He’s constantly wanting to talk dirty or about phone sex etc, which is fine and I like but I just want to see him again or at least know that he has plans to see me again before I oblige. I haven’t said this to him, I just avoid the the phone sex suggestions or make a joke whenever they come up but this really annoys him and causes him to pull away. He doesn’t say it but his actions suggest this. We are in another cycle of him pulling away as a result and i’ve Sent him a couple of messages to reach out but received no reply.... Help, I really like this guy, we have a strong connection and I would like this to go further but he’s now in his cave, only, this time I worry that he won’t be coming out, for me at least, this time
Me and my ex were together for about 3.5 years living together, have been broken up for nearly 5 months now with a 9 month old baby i moved out completely. The relationship did become toxic on both ends. We broke up because he had cheated on me and i stayed with him but didn't want to and was felt pressured so i never got through the pain he caused and did not forgive him for it i ended up being depressed as a result we did fight a lot. I found out that he started talking to her again after about 4-5 months so i decided to leave him. for about 3 weeks i didn't talk to him unless it had to do with our child. After we talked fine seen each other a few times and then in between that we did have a fair few arguments due to the present feelings and hurt being there where i called him a bad father and he did this he did that why he doesn't do this why he doesn't do that he hasn't tried to fight for his family blah blah you get the picture. there have been times where he has told me he loves me and he wants to change but hasn't acted on it. he has been out most weekends partying drinking and was gambling every day for 4 months. he has told me he loves me and the woman he loves left him with his child and i think apart of him resents me for taking his child away i also think that he is bit depressed and not sleeping properly and was drinking a lot. he has once come to me and asked for help and then shut me out. he believes that i need to work on myself and change and respect him before we move forward. He blames me for everything and thinks i should be the one to fight for him. i still want to be with him and believe things can be different i also told him that i won't get back with him unless things are different. he has stopped gambling for a month now i don't no the reasons to it. the last conversation we had he exploded at me because i brought up the other woman and why he was still talking to her and he told me i had no right and it wouldn't of happened if i never left him and that me not going back to him is giving her hope and she is beating me at my own game and then said if i want to be with him i can but i have to not bring his past up ever again. the conversation didn't end to well to him saying that he doesn't want to be with me or her and that we are over for good because i said i was quite happy without him. since then i chose not to talk to him for a whole month. i never returned his calls and he turned up the other day for 10 mins to see his daughter and left because he was busy. The month is now up and it is his first fathers day in 3 days i was just going to turn up and surprise him with his daughter i don't no if this is the best approach? i still haven't reached out to him what steps should i take from here? i have now forgiven him and have gotten fast all the hurt and pain he caused and still i am willing to give it another try.

"I've been married for 15 years, and I think the spark of any relationship can become a thing of the past quite easily when one gets drowned in the minutiae of daily life (household errands, carpooling children, etc.). Plus, when a couple is lacking the time to focus on each other because of demands coming from everywhere—work, children, friends, family—the answer for me is to escape together, whether that means going away for a weekend and escaping everyday life or going out for a date once a week with just my husband. If you can't focus on each other, you can't keep the spark alive. I'm a firm believer that my relationship with my husband is a priority over all else in our family—otherwise nothing falls into place, and everyone loses out. Keeping the spark alive is key to a great family life."
Lastly, until your guy finally comes to his senses and realizes that you’re the girl from him, don’t stop dating other men. Keep your options open even if you’re not particularly interested in these other guys. If you keep your social calendar full of dates with others, you will be less worried about what your guy is doing, and you won’t be so preoccupied with things moving from casual into a committed relationship.
Can you become close friends with your ex? My ex broke up with me but we were best friends. He is with someone new but is still contacting me. I don’t know if it’s just for friendship or does he miss our relationship? He sends me messages about our serie that we watched together, but the conversation is short and not deep at all. I still love him, and I don’t know what to do?

Ok so my ex and I have gone from not talking to each other at all to her apologizing and us sort of talking every once in a while to us talking a bit daily to us talking hours every day and us being best friends. Things are progressing very well, but I'm wondering what I should do now if anything. Should I just let things flow naturally or is there anything I can do to avoid the permanent friendzone? Thanks in advance
Regardless of who makes more, it’s important to value each other’s contributions to the relationship. This includes agreeing on how bills will be shared, how saving responsibilities will be allocated, and so on. In instances where there’s a significant difference in earnings between your income and that of your partner, it’s essential to ensure that they identify a purpose to their support e.g., he or she might accept responsibility for funding college savings, or family vacations.
So, get this. I’ve been seeing this guy for almost 3 months now, so not long. We have taken things pretty casually, I don’t know his past & haven’t asked. When it comes to ‘feelings’ I can tell he is not safe talking about it. We are completely compatible, and honestly I feel as if he’s my person. When we first started talking, we discussed about meeting the parents in general, and he expressed how he doesn’t bring just anyone home to his family & he wants to be sure they will be around for a while before doing so. So, I let him make the call as to when that would happen, if it would. A few weeks ago, he told me to reserve a specific date open for going home to meet his family. Which was just a week ago. Of course, it was the perfect weekend. Introduced me to his whole family, classmates, and family friends, and stayed an extra day than planned. 3 days later, I sent him a nice text- did not say the L word, but was pretty strong feeling. He replied with not feeling the same as me, and didn’t want to waste my time. I have tried calling him one time to get an explanation and he has not responded. Haven’t bugged him since the phone call. It’s so frustrating where 48 hrs prior to the text I was with him at his parents and seen absolutely no red flags. What should I do? What does this mean? I have never had a guy ‘pull away’ before.
You want to let your man know that he can keep his freedom and still be in a committed relationship. However freedom doesn’t mean he can meet other women, you just mean he can still enjoy going out with friends and doing the things he enjoys doing. Women tend to think of relationships as leading to big changes such as buying a new house and starting a new family.
We've been together for 20 years she moved in with me the first time we got together and have lived an an amazing life together, traveling the world having two beautiful boys we are not married, have a big house in the city but things have started to unravel and her feelings for me have diminished she says things like she loves me but she's not in love with me, my commitment to her is unrelenting I'm attractive and have no issues with picking up other women but she is a MORALISTIC FOUNDATION FOR ME.
I know this is hard and I am so sorry that you are going through this. You have dated a man that is emotionally unavailable and is following the same pattern that he had in his life. You mentioned his father never married his mother so this is an issue that he has to overcome himself. This is his past playing into his life now. You have to make yourself less available to him and understand that you deserve more than this. I would encourage you to book a session with me or a male coach on my team so we can help you during this time. You can reach out to me on my contact page. If so please state you messaged me on my blog so I can remember. We are here if you need further guidance.
So it was a deadly suprise that all of the sudden he texted the day after we both said good night and how we love each other, saying he had confusing feelings about the relationship and a few hours later ended it over text saying that he doesn't want to lose me and he "loves me a lot" and that if we continued it would increase our chances of getting into a huge arguement and ending our relationship in a horrible way. So he ended it and we ended in a good way like he wanted and remained friends because he doesn't want to lose me.

When fear loses its power, you become unafraid to be yourself. You learn to show up, to be witnessed, and be real in your relationships, because there is nothing to lose, and nothing to be rejected. Rejection takes on new meaning, and it is no longer because there is something inherently wrong, broken, or inadequate within you. There is great power in authenticity.


I broke up with my ex about six months ago after a five month relationship. it was very intense and he was completely in love with me. However i wasn’t ready for such a serious relationship so I broke up with him. i tried to be friends with him but he started acting a little needy so i cut off contact with him. over the past few months i’ve realized that i am ready for a relationship with him because i really did love him and he never did anything to hurt me i just wasn’t ready at the time. I texted him the other day asking to be friends and later that day, my friend told me he was seeing someone. I want to respect the relationship but also want him to know that i am willing to wait for him and in the meantime i’ll do things that make me happy. Is this a good idea? I feel like she is a rebound. he told me i was the love of his life and that he never felt a connection with anyone else like he did with me so i find it hard to believe that he is serious about the girl he started dating shortly after our breakup. Nonetheless if he is i will back off but i also feel like what we had isn’t over yet.
Reason #1. You are surprised, angry, sad, hurt and feeling rejected. These symptoms are classical grief symptoms. If your boyfriend had died, it would be impossible to get him back, and it would not be his fault that you are grieving. But now that he is out there alive and well, it is his fault. It is a decision he has made. He made it for a good reason. Your relationship was not working. Why would you want your relationship back if it wasn't working? Why would you want an ex back who doesn't want you? Treat it like a case of grief that you need to get over rather than trying to get back together with your ex.
We always fear the thought of not being able to find someone better if we walk away from our current relationship, but the truth was he still went out with another female behind your back, and I'm sure it would be simple enough to find someone who at least won't do that to you to begin with. However, this is also dependent on whether she was actually a friend or not, and why he decided to go behind your back to meet her.
I really love him. I just want to hear from him. Some of the reasonings we broke up include he felt unappreciated, he wasn’t “getting” happy, he’s bored with the relationship because all we do is sit around, which I immediately told him that’s not fair and I always try to get him to do things and said I know. But a few more reasons he’s told me, he wants to be around someone positive, and I’ll admit I haven’t been in the best shape lately. I lost my job, I’ve been going through family issues, and friend issues. I always am first to tell him everything. I can understand why this is what could push him away. He is a very easy go free kind of guy. He also told me “I’m not what he wants in a girlfriend” of course all these words hurt. I think about everything he’s said and it hurts. Do I believe them? Slightly.
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