Most people think small because they’re afraid of success, afraid of making decisions, afraid of winning. Deciding you want to have the best relationship of your life gives you an advantage over people just playing around with casual dating or waiting for “fate” to plop someone in their lap. Women love a man who knows what he wants and goes after it.
On the flip side, some men will pull away just as much if their date strongly insists that they must pay their own share. As callous as this may sound, most of us have egos bigger than Mt. Kilimanjaro, yet are as fragile as a fly. Trying to assert dominance in this situation may make your date run away. Even though you’ve done nothing wrong. Yes, I confess… we can be just as confusing to you, as women are to us.
Hello! I have the following problem. Me and my wife are together for 7 years. We had a 4 years old girl. We had our ups and downs but we had a very good relationship. Two years ago she met some colleague of her from another city on some business trip. She cheated on me after a while. I found out in her messages that but she lied to me, she accused me of mistrust and other staff like that. I decided to believe her and move on. I even propose to her. Everything was perfect the last year or I though so. The last winter I cough her again and then this summer. They met each other not more than 3 4 times, for that I am sure. He is living in another city, he is a lot older than we are, he has wife and kid too. Most of the time they chat to each other via messenger. In june I left our home for a couple of weeks but she couldn`t take care as I wanted for our kid and our home. So I moved back because I want to look after my kid. We are back together for the last two months more as a parents and roommates than a couple. She is saying she loves me but she is not in love with me and she love the other guy although they cant have anything serious besides seeing 2 times in the year. I think I feel the same way but I want to make it right for our kid. What could I do. I know I love her and can live with her till rest of my wife. I want to reconnect with her in a real way, to restore trust and to build a new relation. I saw that system isn`t working if we are living together. So what should I do.
I meet a guy couple months ago,he live in new york ,i live in Georgia.when we first meet we talk on the phone and text every day.now its like every other week if any,also his not calling me when his home.he’ll call me on his way to work or home.what should I do on his birthday I asked him for his address so I can mail him a card,and he said no cause,he doesn’t like woman to send him gifts on his birthday?
Send her a letter. Girls also love letters, because they take a lot of time and you have to express your feelings. Start off by saying something like: "I know this letter doesn't fix what's broken between us, and maybe it never will. But I want you to know that I care deeply about you, and I always will. That part has never changed. The part that's changed is that I realize how stupid I was to let you go."
If your guy is having a hard time, be it from external sources like his job or he’s having some internal emotional issue, you have to give him the space to work through it on his own. If he wants to talk to you about it, he’ll seek you out. And if he does, make sure you listen to him, don’t use this as an opportunity to voice your opinions on the matter and try to solve it for him. If he wants your advice, he’ll ask for it.
Perform mental health check-ins from time to time: Does being with him make you happy or do come away from your dates feeling troubled or angry? Do you feel lifted up when you think of him? Is he respectful of you, your work and your passions or does he denigrate them? Most importantly, does he find value in you and what you contribute to his life? Do you find value in him and what he contributes to yours?
However sometimes general concepts, no matter how detailed are just not enough. If you wish to take it a step further and give yourself the best possible chance to get back with the person you love or to have no regrets, I strongly urge you to book a consultation with one of our relationship expert. It could very well be the best phone call you’ll ever make.
This article was exactly what I needed to read. It was straight to the point but very in depth with how simple it is to keep your man into you. Right now I could use the help with my current relationship. Eric Charles, if there was any way to get your insight on my current situation I would greatly appreciate that. Thank you for the great insight above.
My gf of about 3 years and I have broken up "for good" as of 2-3 weeks ago. We've been off and on for those 3 years, mostly due to (unintended) pressure on my part to advance the relationship. We never officially dated, or really called each other gf/bf, despite what I had felt — which shouldn't be a big deal, but didn't help things either. Those things aside, we were best friends, relying on each other for feedback on our work, talked about and were involved with each other's lives, both of us approaching our mid 30s. We found ourselves in a cycle of being together, since being with a friend is easy, then everything coming to a head, breaking up for a time, and drifting back into each other. But we always made each other laugh, we bonded over big and small things, and ... this break has been very difficult for me. We'd said I love you several times. We were highly compatible sexually. But when it came time to talk about the future, she'd put up walls, if she even talked at all. It was strained. She has issues with her parents' divorce when she was young, and her father was manipulative and untrustworthy. I have my own issues with parents who weren't in love, so there was some common ground in some way. I said I understood where she was coming from and suggested going to therapy together toward the end, but it didn't hold.
He was so sweet, romantic, a gentleman, fun, funny. He made my heart flutter. He tried to recreate my pose in the photo of me he had made his desk top photo. (I had made his photo my screen saver on my cell too. lol) He was doing things to keep my comfortable and told me he didn’t come all this way for sex and proved he wanted more. We were like best friends. So compatible.
But going through difficulties is what gets us in touch with who we are and what we’re made of. This sort of growth and self-discovery is invaluable. Breaking through that feeling of “I won’t be able to survive without him” and then discovering that you can will make you realize how strong you are, and as a result, will help build your self-esteem and give you that amazing “I can get through anything” feeling.
For years Peter had reacted to Paulette's complaints about him with defensiveness. When he did allow himself to hear information about what he was doing that troubled his wife, he'd get mad at himself. Listening to her had escalated his agitation and distress instead of leading to learning. Now Peter decided he'd better address her concerns, beginning by writing out a list of all he could recall. "Information is power," he reminded himself to ease the sting of shame and guilt.
In case you feel that you are guilty of overcalling, then you need to take a break and find out if your partner puts in the effort to communicate with you. If he does, then this is certainly happy news for you. If he does not, then you need to move on. You need to be with someone who will want to reach out to you, call you frequently and ask you out.
Hi! My boyfriend of just under 1 year broke up with me a few days ago. We were the perfect couple, incredibly similar and always had an amazing time together. However there was one issue that popped up time and time again. He wanted to go out clubbing with his friends, but never wanted me to go with him. I felt incredibly neglected and became insecure because I felt like he didn't want to be around me. This would in turn bring about arguments. We broke up in a friendly way, he told me that this decision was breaking his heart but that he didn't see anything changing because the issue kept coming up. He told me I am the best girlfriend he's ever had, and would definitely miss me, but that his decision was made because due to the fighting, he believed he had lost his feelings for me. Further, he believed our similarity was a bad thing, even though we never had any issues or arguments about anything we ever agreed on. Since we broke up we have been in no contact, apart from the day after we broke up where I phoned him crying and sent him a couple of texts trying to convince him that he'd made a mistake. He is incredibly stubborn and I have this feeling that even if he realised he made a mistake, his stubbornness would stop him from reaching out to me. I want him back, and have realised how my insecurities pushed him away. I'm in the process of following all your steps so that I have the best chance of getting him back, because other than this one issue, we are perfect together. My question now, is after so much reflecting I've realised how I contributed to the break up and learnt how I can fix this if we tried again. So I was considering an "elephant in the room" text to let him know how much I've realised and learnt, but I'm worried about appearing desperate which is not my aim. Should I send him a text outlining what I've discovered, but end it in a way where it shows I'm not expecting a response or a second chance? or should I continue my no contact period?
Hello! So my ex boyfriend broke up with me officially 16 days ago. We're both 27, by the way. 10 days prior he told me that he needed time alone and that he was not in a good place. I was supposed to meet him that day (we live in different cities, but only one hour apart), and I asked if I could still come, or if he never wanted to see me again. He said that he never said that, but he would prefer not to see me for at least a few days. I texted him two days later saying that I understand and he should take his time and he responded with thank you xx. I did not reach out for 10 days and then I texted him asking him to tell me what was on his mind. He replied instantly and said that it's not my fault and that he feels he can not be in a relationship right now. I asked for an explanation and to tell me what was going on in his life, he said he didn't want to talk in detail, it was about the way he felt in general, work, the kid (he has an 8 year old son) and that I never did anything wrong. He apologised and I said take care. I never texted him, we met on tinder and had been dating for 5 months. I met his entire family, his close friends and he met mine. My birthday was two weeks before the break and he brought me a heart necklace with diamonds on it (it took him a while to find a present he liked), I know he has feelings for me, he said so himself, but I am so confused. A part of me says he will be back, another one feels he will not, I just don't know. Should I add his best friend's girlfriend on Facebook? She did tell me her Facebook, but then this happened and I did nothing. I know his friends and family like me. We were good together but the last time he was a bit distant.
Hey Sabrina. Great article! I’ve gotta say, the emails I get from you and Eric help a lot. There’s this guy that I met while I was at university, there was definitely a mutual attraction between us but we never acted on it. We’re good friends, but everytime we see each other I feel this spark whenever I’m around him or talk to him. I don’t want to scare him off because I really value his friendship and also I like that I can just be myself around him. He also helped me get through a tough situation a couple of years ago. I’m confused because I get a vibe from him that he wants to be with me but he never says it outright.
I think that continuing your no contact for now would be a better idea before sending out the text. It may be too soon to send this without him thinking you have motives because the breakup was still relatively recent. And if the issue for the breakup was because of his clubbing interests, perhaps it might a good idea to let him go through this phase first instead of suppressing negative emotions while in the relationship, since it's usually just a phase that people go through.
Paige Armstrong, MSW, LCSW, has over 15 years of international and national clinical, program development, and management experience. She has served as psychotherapist, coach, educator and speaker across small to mid- size companies. Over the course of her career, she has successfully fostered recovery for a diversity of populations – at-risk youth, Fortune 500 CEOs, professional athletes, and high achievers. Check out her website www.lifeenrichmentnc.com.
On the other hand, if your relationship is more like Boris and Natasha’s, all he’s hearing is you nagging for every little thing he does. The two of you might argue often, even though you care deeply for one another. Then all he’s going to feel is pain. This will not lead to him missing you. He may, in fact, choose to get away from you as often as he can!
Going through the strangest break up at the moment as me and my ex mutually broke up because after 3 years, we both noticed she has no desire for penetration. The day after, we hung out to help her get parts for her car, ended up back at my place having the greatest sex we've ever had. She says that she doesnt feel the relationship pressure to do things perfectly and feels unhinged, but states that she wants to be FWB with a chance of getting together in the future. This is when I chose to use no contact. If we can have amazing sex with penetration after that, I'd like to see what 2 weeks or a month can lead to in terms of long term.
i know this sounds ridiculous but i met this guy on a facebook game, he asked for my number but i refused to because well why would you want give out your number to a stranger he could be a scam. okay so he gave his instagram id and downloaded kik just to text me. we clicked right away. we spent days and days talking, flirting and joking and i sacrificed my time just to text him because of timezone. one night, he confessed that he had feelings for me that he never felt this great in a long time so i told him i feel the same way (tbh i’ve never fell in love this hard before) and we dated. i won’t deny that i love taking to him and i never believed in ldr before he came. we had few arguments tho, but it wasn’t serious. After days passed by, he went disappeared which i think he deleted his kik. We were good at that moment but idk what’s going on so a week later i went to his instagram to find him, just to you know clear this mess up and start over again and be friends, it doesnt matter if he changed his mind or met a new girl near him.. i just wanted to have a connection with him. The next day, i found out that he blocked me. That was a dick move but what’s worse is that i am still madly in love and maybe will die with the curiosity.
If your relationship has gone past the early stages and your man has stopped buying you presents, taking you places and generally is not being as romantic as he was with you in the beginning, then this does not necessarily mean that he is pulling away. He may just feel more comfortable with you and subconsciously feel that he is showing you love and affection in different ways.
Your man wants to know you appreciate him for who he is and what he brings to the relationship. If you love him, make sure he knows. Keep in mind Dr. John Gottman’s 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interchanges. For every one negative remark you make, try to think of five positive things to say, to counteract the negative effects of a critical word. Try carving out a few minutes each day before bed where you share with your partner what you appreciate about him and why.
Spend more time on yourself for now, because she probably felt your intention when you reached out and isn't ready to face you yet. Work on understanding yourself better and making positive changes in your life that would help with the depression and mood, so that you won't end up contributing toxic behavior if you ever get a third chance with her, or even if you end up with someone else down the road.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book from start to finish, as the author gives a refreshing insight into the complex psychological mechanics associated with intimate relationships. By avoiding using a lot of jargon, the author uses simple language to approach his subject, making concepts easy to understand. Highly recommended for anybody who needs to comprehend how men (and women) behave the way they do when in a relationship.
One night in 2013, she asked if she could stay over, and I more or less spilled my guts to her and admitted my intense feelings. She said she didn’t reciprocate. It would take about nine months of hardcore wooing before Mary finally said she had feelings for me. In 2016, three years after that night and almost ten years after our first date, I asked her to marry me and she said yes.
If you’ve gotten yourself to the point where you’re ready for you guy to commit, but he just won’t budge, the two of you have probably discussed your relationship status ad nauseam. As of right now, bringing up your desire to be in a relationship won’t do you any good. He knows that you want to strip him of his “single” status and every time you bring it up, he pulls further and further away from you. So what’s a girl to do?
Making your man commit can take time and effort. You want to send him signals that you are ready to take the relationship further but at the same time don’t want to overdo it so it becomes an obsession or pressurizing. Don’t let the relationship become boring, keep an element on fun and excitement in it by doing something new together, going on nights out or trying something new in the bedroom.
When it comes to dating tips for women, one size doesn’t fit all. A young woman in her teens or 20s dates A LOT differently than a woman in her 30s and 40s. And while most woman generally want the same outcome, there are certain things women in their 30s and 40s know about dating that they disregarded or simply didn’t focus as much on in their younger years.
Im dating a man who is being very consistent with his communication and we see each other every weekend. He is always making plans with me and he reaches out to me all the time. The only issue is that I’m having a hard time feeling like he desires me the way a man should desire a woman. We hang out, we talk, we have so much fun together, we have sex but it feels more like a friend I’m having sex with than a romantic partner. Im physically and romantically attracted to him but I can’t help but wonder if there is a physical attraction issue on his part. He doesn’t seem “into” me like I’m used to. I’m a pretty woman but I know I don’t have those super pretty girl looks so I don’t know. Nonetheless, he isn’t pulling away per se, he just isn’t romantically present. I don’t hear anything sweet or flirty or sexy from him. When I do it to him, he just says thank you and tells me how much he enjoys hearing me say stuff like that. We have a lot in common and we have a great intellectual connection. He’s told his mom, dad and friends about me. But I’m worried because I feel like he doesn’t feel strongly about me in romantic way, even though he spends time with me, talks to me all the time, and admits that he has the most fun with me. It makes me sad because we both talk about how we are happy to have met someone like each other but I can’t help but wonder if having all these things in common and both of us being capable of loving each other the way we always wished someone would is somehow STILL not enough. It makes me very sad.
You can’t rely on sex and sex alone to make your man commit. This also works the other way round, you can’t use sex as a weapon and tell your man that the sex will stop until he commits as this won’t work either. The key here is to build your emotional bond with him by enjoying doing other things together that doesn’t involve sex. This could be going out for dinners, hitting the gym together or travelling together.
If you’ve been looking for dating tips that really work, then trust me to help you get the love life you deserve. Matthew is one of the world's most acclaimed relationship coaches and a New York Times best selling author. He was on the NBC show 'Ready For Love' and has helped millions of women across the world find what their heart has truly desired. Join Matthew and over 85 million women just like you to get the best dating tips online.
It may be hard to go through your daily routine without her at the moment, but you're going to have to learn how to, since the only way you win her back right now is by being patient and giving both parties some space to recollect their emotions and feelings for one another. The other guy sounds like a rebound right now, and you'll have to let their relationship fall apart on their own before you make a move.
There may be something missing from your relationship that means you two aren’t communicating properly and feelings aren’t getting exchanged as they used too. Taking some time to refocus your energy back on the relationship and remember why you two got together in the first place is a huge way you can make him miss you. Send old photos of the best memories you two have together or just organize something that you both can do. Spend some time rekindling and being together when you can. Then when you both go and separate again he will miss you and the time he’s spent with you. It’s not always possible to be together but if it is then you should try.
I need help. My girlfriend and I were together for 2.5 years and I believe the relationship was really strong. We did have fights but I was convinced she was head over heels for me as she has expressed that several times. However, she dumped me a few weeks ago and I took the breakup pretty hard (I.e. begging, pleading, low self-esteem, etc.) well over the last few weeks, we have had a few instances where we would hang out and continue to have sex and confess our love for each other and she’s admitted serval times that she loves me and misses me and that I’m all she wants, yet she’s afraid to be with me to get hurt? She’s also admitted to seeing other people in the three week period to avoid dealing with the grief of the relationship. I’m on day 4 of no contact and ive told her before i started that I’m no longer gonna be her doormat for her emotional support and that I’m not longer going to wait for her; however, I secretly do want to wait for her because I believe we’re supposed to be together, just not right now.
Thomas Gilovich, a psychologist at Cornell University has done quite a lot of research as to why it is better to treasure memorable and pleasant experiences rather than the material things we buy. There are many reasons for this as outlined in his study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Comparing possessions and looking at better objects after purchase can be demoralizing and ruin the initial pleasure we got when purchasing and taking possession of that new car, TV or computer.
Thank you Lauren. It's been 3 weeks now and I am pretty okay. Two questions though: 1. I wonder how did the story of the lady who wrote this apology letter, go? Did they get back together, or do you know about anybody else who have used this with success? 2. Do you cover somewhere if it's a good idea to stay friends with your ex? Thanks in advance.
However, something I’ve noticed men despise about their dates—it’s when their date expects them to pay for the meal, because they’re male. This doesn’t just pull them away, it turns them off. This problem manifests itself if they feel like you haven’t appreciated their efforts. Don’t be that girl. The first impression you give is usually the only impression you’re remembered for, especially if it doesn’t get past the first date. Most men aren’t so keen to fund the lifestyle of someone they’re not sure what their intentions are: “What exactly does she want me for me?” Or, “Is she only after me for my money?”
1. Learn to be a good listener. Men and women approach problem solving in very different ways. Men usually put on their “fix it hat” almost immediately and head right for the solution. Women don’t want advice — at least not right away. Being able to talk about whatever happened is therapeutic for them. When a man jumps right into how to fix the problem, a woman feels like she is not being heard. That quickly leads to hurt feelings and often anger. Just listening to what she has to say will go a long way toward actually fixing it.
Don’t make him a priority. Instead of carrying on with your life as normal, you decide to make him the center of your universe. You cancel plans with your friends to hang out with him, you change your Facebook relationship status, you even daydream about what he’d look like in a tux on our wedding day. This is all so very wrong. It’s still the very early stages, so he shouldn’t automatically earn a top spot in your life—at least not for a while yet.
To be clear, I was in no way making him chase me. I was warm and responsive. I was letting him lead and extremely responsive to that. If he wrote me, I wrote him, if he said love you, I said love you too. If he called, I called him back. If he did something for me, I would call and thank him. As to having time… I was responsive to his calls (clear about when I had plans, but would schedule a specific time), had time for 2-3 hour calls when he was out of town, and made time while I was on the other side of the world. I had also been very clear I was super excited to see him, even freeing up a possible 10 days for us to spend time and get to know each other.
I met this guy on holiday and when we both returned to our prospective countries ( 1-1.5 hrs away by plane) we stayed in contact with each other. Over the last 6 months I’ve used your tips whenever he pulls away emotionally ie not texting back or initiating conversation and it works really well. The problem is He’s constantly wanting to talk dirty or about phone sex etc, which is fine and I like but I just want to see him again or at least know that he has plans to see me again before I oblige. I haven’t said this to him, I just avoid the the phone sex suggestions or make a joke whenever they come up but this really annoys him and causes him to pull away. He doesn’t say it but his actions suggest this. We are in another cycle of him pulling away as a result and i’ve Sent him a couple of messages to reach out but received no reply.... Help, I really like this guy, we have a strong connection and I would like this to go further but he’s now in his cave, only, this time I worry that he won’t be coming out, for me at least, this time
Of course, giving him space is really just the first step… but when it comes down to it there are 2 big problems every woman experiences in her relationships with men – so pay attention because what you do next is vitally important. The first problem you’re probably going through: if you’re already interested in a man and you feel he might be losing interest, going cold, or pulling away then you need to read this right now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Remember; do not talk about the relationship during this date. Just talk about the things going on in your life and ask them about their life. And you actually have to have something going on in your life to talk about. You cannot tell them how you spend all night yesterday watching reruns of Jersey Shore in your bed. This is another reason why completing Step 2 is so important.
A survey of 1,000 people by Lovehoney found 43% of women and female-identifying people had had sex with ex while they were looking for a new partner - the main reason was because they missed physical intimacy (42% of respondents). And almost a third (31%) said they had sex with the ex because they hoped to get back together with their former partner.
Take a leap of faith and do exactly what your ex suggests that you should do to move on. Obviously you shouldn’t take it all the way and really move on altogether or never reach out to them again. But let them doubt for a few weeks or even a few months if you were on the brink or divorced after a long marriage; push them to the brink to see if they are really capable of assuming their words.
Actions do speak louder than words and when it comes to communication with your man, up to 85% comes from your body language. It’s normally the physical draw that gets the conversation going. When it comes to the chemistry, it’s the pheromones that certain people are drawn to. Researchers believe this is what makes people want more after the first signs of physical attraction.
Being away from the love of your life is hard, for both of you. It may be that some days you miss him more than he misses you, this is only natural. The more we progress through life, we start to understand that sometimes the smallest things matter. Although he may not have said how much he misses you and wants to be with you, being in love and in a relationship is much more than simply speaking – it’s about we act too. Be brave and tell him how you feel, he probably feels the exact same way!
Thank you very very very much for the advice! Everyone: follow this advice exactly and there is not a chance you’ll not have the desired result! Actually I’m a mum and used this article to advice my girl who was separated and very miserable She followed exactly what I told her and I prayed it would work as I had no experience at all It worked!! It worked great actually and under the worst circumstances!! Thank you is not enough really!
Me and my BF have been dating a for a year in a long distance relationship( about 3 hours driving distance) . He does not like when guys hit on me via social and they leave comments under photos. I have told them to stop posting heart eyes and and even deleted them as friends. My ex broke up with me after one person has left 3 different comments over the last few months. I have no control over what others do and I don't know what else to do to get him to see that. I have made the mistake of contacting him day after day asking that we try to amend things, but he keeps repeating he is done and wishes me well. But finally today I came across this site and decided to give him the space hes asked for so that he may come back to me and so he has time to think things through without me being "Needy or desperate". It has only been 5 days and he is still replying to some text but refuses to speak to me over the phone. I am going crazy, especially since we were coming up on our "Official" 1 year anniversary in 2 weeks. I will do my best for the 30 day no contact. I want to be with him, get married, start a family and live a great life together. Hopefully this advice works. Wish me luck.
Im in the current situation right now… He wants space for me being paranoid for past few weeks.. I really dont know wat to do, he is so busy and stressed from work.. He asked for space, i ask him if he is breaking up with me he said no he just need time and space for the meantime… Need your advice please… I dont want us to be apart i really love him..
No need to sign up at the homeless shelter only to impress him. Little things in your everyday life, from buying coffee for the woman in line behind you to walking your neighbor's dog, count too. Make an effort to do these things on a regular basis, but also make sure you're showing your selfless side when you're with him. When you're a kind and gracious person, men (and women) are more likely to want to be around you—both consciously and subconsciously.
Stop trying to get your ex back if the relationship was toxic or abusive. It might feel temporarily lonely or even boring to be on your own after the end of a tumultuous relationship, but try to ride that feeling out instead of going back to your ex. On again, off again relationships tend to be based on unhealthy patterns that won't go away. Resist the temptation to jump right back in when you know you're better off without him.
We’re all about empowered woman, but when you don’t let your man do even as much as change a lightbulb for you, it will make him feel inferior and not needed. Remember, his self-worth is directly connected to his ability to provide for you and protect you. Let him open doors for you, fix what needs to be fixed, pick you up late from the train station, etc. And if you make more money than him, still, let him pay for things. Being strong and independent is wonderful, but it doesn’t mean you can’t accept help or courtesies from other people.
My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago we were together 5 months. We would meet each other once/twice a week due to work schedules. He would always keep in touch every day via text or a call. We would be texting numerous times a day and most of the time it would always be him texting me. He seemed to be making no effort to meet up on last 2 weeks it was always me suggesting we meet which we did. When I suggested we both make more of an effort to meet up more regularly. He broke it off saying we both in different places and thats how he feels. Found out 2 days ago he has gone on holiday with a female friend. He tried to keep texting after we broke up as if nothing was wrong so I asked him to stop. I have had no contact with him since I asked him to stop. Going to concentrate on myself for now and refrain from contacting him. Guess what I would like to know is there any hope in getting him back.
My girlfriend of almost 2 years just broke up with me. We were best friends and did everything together. I was emotionally supportive at most times and that was one of her biggest complaints. When she broke up with me she said it was because she was emotionally detached from me and that ive been un-supportive for too long. I went through the phase the first few days of panicking with nonstop calls and texts (then i found this). It has been really hard not to talk to her because we hung out every single day and talked non stop. There were definitely fights where we both got angry and said harsh things but we always sat down and resolved them. She told me she has no interest in talking to me. I would take her back in a heart beat though. She still has pictures of us on her social media and hasnt blocked me. She also said she still cares about me as a person but doesnt love me and wants me to not talk to her so we can both "move on and process the breakup". Shes also spent the last few days getting wasted with her friends. What do you think about my situation?
One of the keys to getting back together will be your ability to stay active and not let your sadness or depression lead to inaction. It is very common to want to stay on your couch, not do anything or have no desire to see anyone after a breakup. The issue is that if you do not force yourself to stay active and to undertake certain actions, you will keep digging yourself further and further down the hole.
It could be either, but I'm leaning towards the long-term commitment issue, especially if she has kids but isn't married - which is proof of a previous failed relationship and that probably caused her to develop trust issues in seeing things. Additionally, you've only been going out with her for 3 months which is a short period to her to trust you enough to let you meet her kids. I suggest giving a week of space before you reach out to perhaps talk to her about this, and ask her why she suddenly decided to call the relationship off.
He broke up with me last Monday after 1 year and 3 months, for me it was the happiest time of my life and we never fought and had a happy and loving relationship. Reading this has really helped me as I’m going into my second week of NC tomorrow. I genuinely think we both needed a break but I’m not going to sit here and believe that we’re gonna get back together I’m just going to do my 4 Week Detox, then go from there. Wish me luck . X