One of the most devastating mistakes you can make is trying to force it to work with a guy who is wrong with you. I’ve seen people spend years of their life trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. Everyone in their life tells them to just move on and let him go but they can’t. Why? Because they don’t have clarity or any objectivity because they are still sucked into the emotional whirlpool and have yet to break themselves free.
Kevin Alexander helps shy, introverted nice guys finish first with women via the Nice Guy Dating Daily Podcast and blog at niceguydating.ca. His brash, brutally honest yet approachable and comedic style keeps you entertained and informed about how to handle everything from dating to charm to fashion to exercise, making sure you finish first with women. When not on his podcast, you can find him guest blogging on sites such as Digital Romance Inc, SWExperts, and TSB Magazine.
So me and my ex were in a long distance relationship for 2 years. I was in my career and he was just finishing up school. We met in another state and have always been long distance. So when he graduated, im thinking that we would finally get to be together. Wrong, he broke up with me. His words were im not leaving you, im leaving the relationship. I still love you and still feel the same, I think that we need to just be friends" So basically needing time to get himself together, which I can respect. At first, I was pleading, then I told him I couldnt be friends. Then, I said yea im ok with being friends because there was so much going on in both of our lives that I feel like I wanted to still be apart of. So for about 5 days after that our only contact was words with friends (Scrabble). The game has ended and now we are officially in the no contact part. He still has our pics up on his page and last time we talked 2 weeks ago, we both said "I love you" before we got off the phone. I really believe we were the two right people at the wrong time. Its almost been a month and each week gets easier. He was my first love and my best friend. This article was nice, my only confusion is you said Id reach out to him after the no contact rule, but most advice Ive gotten is "He broke up with you, You should wait until he hits you up". Im new to all this heart break stuff. He was my first and Im still at the point where I want him to be my only one. Thank you!
Hi I met this girl at work and we started dating for like 6 months she said she love me so much and she feels so comfortable and very happy with me and I felt the same way too, everything about us was good. We planned of living together and our future too, suddenly I just knew that she has a boyfriend for almost 3 years now. Few days ago she told me that she don’t wanna continue dating me bcos of her boyfriend. I really don’t know what to do at this time I really love her. I wanna know what should I do in this kind of situation?
You're going to have dig a little deeper and try to understand what caused her sudden change of heart. Often, unless the person has commitment issues and is always looking for a way out of the relationship, thoughts of not working out usually don't develop overnight and have larger underlying issues tied to it, just that the other party may not have brought it up. Your chances are dependent on what this underlying issue is, and whether its something that can be resolved or not to win her back.
Me and my ex were best friends for 3 years secretly in love. We never confessed. She started dating someone 8 months ago and i couldnt take it so i told her. She confessed that she had been in love with me too. We were together for 6 months until she told me she had lost feelings for me. And that it was because i had changed and talked about other girls more and cared less about her( told this to her friends) she now says she likes someone shes talking to. And that shed never wanna be with me again.
If you’re really digging this guy, you have probably completely lost yourself in your quest to make him your boyfriend. You keep your phone ringer turned on at all times so you never miss a call from him, you cancel on your friends if he asks you out last minute, and whenever he wants to see you, you clear out everything else that you have going on in your schedule just so you can spend time with him. You may think you’re just showing him how much you really like him, but honestly, you’re going about things the wrong way.
According to research, the number one cause of the breakup of romantic relationships is failure to communicate. If your relationship was otherwise happy, this problem can often be fixed by setting clear expectations and openly discussing frustrations before things explode in a big fight. Other issues can be harder to overcome, like infidelity or jealousy; but with work and counseling, even these types of issues are possible to work through.

Hi Eric, I have situation that you’ve probably dealt with. I was seriously dating /living with the love of my life and we were so inove that we wouldn’t even consider anyone else. We were together for a yr and 5 months when an ex-friend ( homewrecker) began conversing with him in posts on social media. I trusted him, so nenever thought there would be risk. He ended up leaving me for her, moved in with her, and has been playing “step-dad” to her rotten kids. We’ve tried several times to work it out because he says he knows he hurt me, he screwed up and now he loves 2 women and he’s confused and has not been able to choose. He knows she wrecked us but can’t seem to get completely back to me. He even calls her stupid, and says he’s miserable with her. Now, I’m not so stupid as to not know that actions speak louder than words, but I love him and want to put us back together. She will never be the woman that I am and I think part of him feels sorry for her while I do not!! She has always been extremely jealous of me, but I’m in NO way jealous of her. Can you offer any advice? I know this is the condensed version of too many details to list…I wish I could talk to you. I believe there is hope as I know men at 46 go through mid life crises. At 45 myself though, I know what I want…hope to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks…


So when your lady is stressed, just let her vent.  When she starts into it, give her good eye contact, show concern, support and ask her…”Do you want me to listen right now or do you want me to help you solve this?”  She will tell you what she wants and you need to stay true to her request.  Make sure she has said everything she wants to by asking, “Is there anything else you need to tell me? Do this and you’ll create amazing connections with the women in your life.
External control psychology is thinking you know what's best for someone else and attempting to control the outcome based on this belief through punishment or other means.  The more it is used, the more relationships are harmed or destroyed. (information based on William Glasser’s Choice Theory in his book “Counseling with Choice Theory”). Even if he does commit after you walk away, you may have damaged the relationship.
I guess I made the mistake of... i dont even know..... getting TOO comfortable? I mean I got to the point where I was literally being affectionate with her all the time like a boyfriend. Hand on the lap, pecks, hugs, and she didn’t respond in a negative way, dont get me wrong. The problem was, as it was before (when we broke up) that she has a lot on her plate. And I mean a lot, financially struggling, an exhausting job (night shift mind you), she finally moved out on her own which caused an even bigger strain financially, her family lives in another country, and she is currently searching for a second job. So naturally, being affectionate, or reciprocating affection is the last thing on her mind.
Freud once called female sexuality "the dark continent," and if that's true, then male sexuality might as well be the dark planet. Because when it comes to sex, men are far from simple. (As much as they may try to convince us otherwise.) The bedroom is one of the great stages of male performance, so what you see on TV is typically far from what can (and should) be delivered in reality. That's why sex experts chimed in with more accurate insight about what guys really want you to know when the two of you climb into bed.
Sometimes you can use social media to your advantage. One of the best ways to make a man miss you is by being independent. Let Mr. Right see this new, independent you via social media. Are you taking a cooking class or finally checking skydiving off your bucket list? Make sure you share it with your friends and that special someone. Do not fabricate elaborate, fake posts. Be you, be fun, and be authentic. He will want to be by your side for every new adventure. Guys want to make sure you have a life outside of him and what better way to show him this than by sharing your adventures with him, indirectly. If you’re on your phone constantly sending him images of all the fun you’re having it’s not going to be at all effective. Usually, when you’re having fun with your friends sending the guy in your life images isn’t something that should interest you because you’re busy doing you. So use your social media to update everyone of the fun you’re having and this will drive him crazy.
Another important thing to take into consideration is that he’s a man and he may be acting in ways you, as a woman, don’t intuitively understand. Your guy is not your girlfriend. Guys like to deal with one thing at a time. If he has a lot on his plate, he may take his attention temporarily away from the relationship. This doesn’t always mean he’s losing interest, it could just mean he’s overwhelmed.
I would suggest that you try to stay focused and pick yourself up from this first. She may have the 'pick of the litter', but keep in mind that she did love you through the period you were together and probably still does have certain feelings for you. However, because she is in the new relationship with the other guy which is 'novel', she definitely has taken a stronger interest there at this point because its still a new thing. Work on improving yourself now because if ever there comes a point where you and her cross paths, you would want to be in the position to make a strong impression and to test her true feelings with the other boyfriend she's now with.

Don’t rush things. The beginning stages of dating someone new or being in a fresh relationship are fun and exciting. I can’t for the life of me understand why some gals want to stay over at his house all weekend, meet all of his friends and have a phone conversation with his mom after only three weeks of being together. Ladies, there’s plenty of time for all that! Just enjoy getting to know him and don’t try and hurry things along, otherwise, what will there be to look forward to?


However, stringing a guy along for months on end, just to “make him wait,” will inevitably pull him away from you. Many people say that if you’re dumped for having sex soon enough, then he wasn’t worth the hassle in the first place. Whilst this is true to a certain extent, attaching a timeframe before making love with someone you care about could do the same.
I hope this article helped you better understand why guys pull away. But there is more you need to be aware of. Most guys will start to pull away at some point. They may even lose interest. You may notice he’s acting colder and he’s less responsive and attentive to you. Do you know how to handle it when this happens? If not, you run the risk of making a common, and major, mistake that might push him further away so be sure to read this next: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...

My vibe was affected by stress of school and radiated out into other areas of my life without my realizing…granted my ex never communicated how I was making him feel, but the breakup made me realize what had happened and how i can get those stress levels down and vibe up…I am prepared it is too late…he will never be able to share those vibes. But if he doesn’t hes also missing out because I feel good, a little sad it didn’t work out, but good overall.

This is the same article ,same exact wording they they tell guys I find it b.s just switching the word him to her. Guys like to be chased unless they found someone they like more and if they like them back . Then they don’t really care what you do I’m assuming girls are the same. It’s a sad world chase catch get bored and release I find this more common for women to get bored and move on. Or cheat and stay in the relationship and keep cheating on the side . They stay married or with someone for benefits of the man’s provisions
The only way to have a good relationship is if you demand a good relationship from him. If you don’t and give him everything he wants in an attempt to get him back, you’re sabotaging the relationship and destroying your chances with him. Not to mention, completely undervaluing yourself, which will deeply impact your self-esteem. Now I don’t mean you say, “Give me a good relationship or else!” It’s not an actual demand. You “demand” it by being a woman of value, by being a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to walk away if she’s not getting it. You don’t have to say anything at all, it just comes across.
I've been with my ex for a few happy months, and during which, we were not officially a couple ( though everyone around us assumed we were), because he also had a long-distance relationship that's been going on for a year. He mentioned that they were also 'just dating' as she's not his girlfriend, and I allowed it to happen then, hoping he would choose me.
Look, we weren’t taught how to build and cultivate happy and healthy relationships in school, but it’s certainly not too late to learn how to develop these skills now! The aforementioned tips are just what you need. They consist of the very best relationship, dating, and lifestyle experts in the world; all of whom possess incredibly esteemed backgrounds and trackrecords of proven success.
You’re letting him know that things have come to this, a turning point.  Either you’re going to stay friends (without benefits!) or you’re going to get back together.  But he has to know that it’s not going to work both ways.  You’re not going to “wait for him” and sit idly by as time moves on.  You should move on and if he really wants you in his life, he will initiate contact and let you know that he misses you.
If at least the one who committed a totally out of bounds act does a thorough rethinking and relearning the result the result can be betterment and continuation of the marriage, provided s/he becomes totally clear that s/he will not repeat the behavior. If not, the marriage is in big trouble. At the same time, odds for successful resumption of a better marriage zoom up if both partners engage in learning.
So, my question is this. I've discovered this information only recently, and my ex left me late last year. The winter and early spring was rough, and I broke a lot of rules. I finally tried no contact as long as possible, and didn't contact her from April till June. I've done a lot of self improvement, but when I broke and finally reached out to her, I think I might have screwed up the process somehow. I haven't even brought up our past at all, and have been trying just small talk here and there, but she seems to be withdrawing from me again. Should I try the no contact period again? Or is there some other way I can right the course of the process to give myself the best chance of doing things the right way?
Look, I know how hard it is to not contact the one person on this earth you want to see and speak to more than anyone else. I fully get it. But just because we want something doesn’t mean it’s in our best interest to go after it. It’s like going to the gym. Sometimes it’s really hard to summon the strength to get yourself there, but you do it because your goal is to be fit and healthy. Here, your goal is to get your ex back and have a healthy, loving, mutually fulfilling relationship. That can only come about when you’ve taken time to gain clarity and perspective.

It’s important to remember her birthday and holidays such as Valentine’s Day, Christmas or Hanukah or Kwanza.  Women feel special when you make a big deal about these special occasions with an appropriate gift, a romantic dinner or a weekend away together.  Don’t forget the flowers and other items (food or meaningful trinket) that she enjoys.  Again, this shows her that she’s special to you and worth all the effort.  If you need help pulling it together, then seek help.  Don’t fall down here or you will be history!
Hey! I’m 19& I may have a crush on this guy who approached me in WhatsApp! I was distant at first cuz that’s what I’m like with strangers ,especially guys, who tries to talk to me even when I make it clear that I don’t want to have a conversation with them. But now its been two months and turns out he is not some stranger, he is in same college as me and we have two out of four classes together.
because only men pull away…all my life is full of all that “it’s not you it’s me” crap,every single time,you try to be nice,understanding,give time and offer encouragement and every time…this…i’m starting to think something is wrong with me,i am already in enough despair as it is and hearing this when i am choosing my words like before a trial or something…it is the most horrible feeling i have ever experienced,and i have been through loss,rough accidents and others…and this hurts worse than all together,the feeling of hopelessness when you pull out even your own soul to show that person everything will be alright and still…nothing.
This is one of the best comments I’ve read here Shirley. While I don’t think these articles are trying to blame us for the reason why men pull away. They do always seem to be like “oh he’ll come around”. Maybe in the land of unicorns and rainbows he will. In reality if the guy has made up his mind that they don’t want to be with you anymore no amount of space will make him change it. My ex ain’t coming back to me after his vanishing act. Was seeing him for a few months. Everything was fine until I didn’t want to have sex on the couch when he wanted me to after that I didn’t hear too much from him. Is he coming back to me? Probably not. Not unless he can’t find anything better. I wasn’t needy in that relationship. I only got pissed off when I hadn’t heard from him in a few weeks which I thought was a bit out of character. Then I tried to find out what was up and got zilch. His silence spoke pretty loudly.
Show him that being with you is a fun, positive experience. When he sees that you didn’t let your emotions overrun you and senses that you didn’t place such a high importance on his actions, he’ll be motivated to stay close and connected with you. He’ll recognize that he’s with a woman who respects his needs while taking care of her own feelings. And he’ll appreciate that you didn’t blame or criticize him.
It was good, but the toxic feelings from the first breakup followed us wherever we went. Mary had let go of that fun-in-the-sun, summer-fling, freewheelin’ attitude I had desperately tried and failed to bring to our last relationship. She had made new friends and learned valuable lessons since our breakup, the biggest one being that guys who try to hold on to their high school ex-girlfriends are as dumb as they are stupid.
I have a question, more than a comment. I’ve been dating this guy off and on for 4yrs it’s been really hard for him to find a job. He had asked me for some money to fix his car. I asked him to give me the name of exact part that was needed he asked why. I responded and said so I can look for it on line. He said no. Next day I said well whats the game plan, when will you get your car fixed? I suggested I’ll pick you up you can stay at my house, drop me off at work and you can get the part you need. He said no. Finally the next day he said his grandma will let him borrow the money but she expected it back the next day. Well I had agreed to give him the money to pay back, but after thinking about it I decided not to go along with it. Before letting him know I wasn’t willing to give him the money I had asked will you be staying tonight when you come get the money? He said no, but I will this weekend. That’s what drew the line, and I told him he’s either lying or had something else going on that he didn’t want me to know. After all this I was the bad person and he called me every name in the book. I did apologize for what I had done but that he was being very wishy washy and I didn’t understand was he was up too. I did let him know our relationship was over and it was beyond repair. My question is, how do you see this, was I wrong? Was he just using me?

I split from my ex after I found out he had cheated. He tried for a year to get me back, doing all the things you listed that just made him completely unattractive to me. Constant texts, begging me to take him back, all that sort of thing. I was adamant it was over. Now he has met somebody else and suddenly I’m gutted and want him back!!! What’s wrong with me? Is this normal? I really thought I was over him.


Compatibility, however, is something that can be examined before all the vows and drama even get started. I would encourage people to really know what they’re getting into. Also, be wary of making promises of changing your behavior. When you promise a fiance that you’re going to “be” this or “be” that, you can probably keep it up for awhile, but eventually you’re going to be yourself. For better or for worse, living with someone day in and day out makes it very difficult to keep up a facade of perfection. Eventually, you’re going to let your hair down, so try doing it before you get married.
You can only give others information. Therefore, you can not make your man do anything, whether that is committing to you or picking up his socks.  You can only give him information. However, that information is perceived by someone other than yourself and your intentions may not translate. Walking away informs him you are not interested in committing, and doing so could backfire and lead to a break up rather than a commitment.  
I met this guy 6 weeks ago via tinder and we hit it off after 3 weeks. He said he wanted to be exclusive with me and we text and talk everyday even when he’s travelling. The thing is, he is always travelling for work and when I met him back after his 2 weeks of travel (1 week ago) , I was excited to see him but I was facing with a lot of family problems (family member has cancer) that time. He was telling me how much stress he was facing during the last biz trip and I listened and comforted him. Before we parted, I said I needed a break from this relationship as is moving too fast, instead of telling him my family issues. He looked disappointed and said OK and left. He did not initiate any contact with me for the past 1 week except when he just text me arrived safely at the airport that time. The next day I text him saying I am stressed out and feel bad abt what I said to him, he didn’t reply. I text him 2 days later asking is everything OK, he said all good and he’s tired. Then 4 days later I text him that I wanted to rekindle the relationship again, no reply. I’m thinking is he pulling away as I demanded space? But I already said I want to start again. He is coming back in 5 days time. I don’t know what should I do then? Shall I wait for him to contact me or if he doesn’t, means he wants to end with me?
And while we’re talking about jealousy, you should also try to refrain from reacting if he posts a picture with a girl, or likes a girl’s social media posts, or even if he starts dating a girl. Jealousy is ugly, unattractive, and destructive. Maybe you’re hurt that he seems to be moving on, but lashing out at him is not going to swing the pendulum back in your favor. And you really don’t know what’s going on. Maybe it’s a rebound fling, maybe the girl in the picture is his cousin, who knows and who cares? This is not where you should be putting your attention at the moment.
Exactly! Also, can we all admit that pulling away really isn’t that normal in strong and solid relationships? Looking back, I realize that my best relationships did not involve a man pulling away from me. Maybe having a day or two to himself for alone time, sure, but pulling away and creating real emotional distant? No…it’s not normal and yes there is a problem…any time that happened to me, another woman was involved.
Most of us know that men are visual: you are wired that way. My best relationship advice for you is not to be so distracted by looks that you ignore the “character” of your partner (or potential partner.) By character I mean whether the person is kind, considerate, compassionate and loving – and not just when he or she wants something! Is their communication gentle or harsh? How do they ask for what they want? Is it a request or is it a demand?
As you have never officially been together, NC may not be the best idea unless the period of 'dating' was long enough and filled with the same amount of memories created as a normal couple would have. I would actually suggest trying to work things out first and communicating whatever you feel across and to assure her about the freedom issue she worries about.
Hi, my girlfriend of 3 months finally came over to my home to find out I live with my Mom. She never knew this before. She brought a bottle over, so she clearly wanted to finally have sex with me. We went to a restaurant instead because I told her my Mom is sick and I take care of her. At the restaurant, I was talking to her about log term commitment and marriage possibly. She was recently divorced with kids. I notice she never invites me to functions with her kids. We normally do stuff together with just the 2 of us. She is kind of defiant and rebellious just for the record. So, I get this text 3 days later after she comes over about wanting to break up with me because I want a long term relationship and she wants friends with benefits. I told her I was cool with friends w/ benefits too but she insists on the break up. She has a history of making excuses when she doesn't want to go to an event via text, so I don't know if the marriage questions caused the break up or was it really the mom situation/ her wanting sex. Your thoughts, what should I do to get her back??? How do I know if ever which it was?

Hello, Im a guy (35) hes 20. After one year he has asked for "space". Apparently, he is seeing someone +-age after weeks of denial. Im still in love with him and this was bound to happen with our age gap and distance. Yet despite that, we had been meeting (with me obviously pleading embarrassingly with him to change his mind) . Now that he is in a relationship, are there any positive chances to get him back. Great read this article has been though and having gone through it eight days before i have never contacted him again and im eager to make it to at least 30 days, but what are the chances and is it ethical
We human beings have a built in radar.  We pick up on body language and we also use our intuition.  We all have it…men and women.  In this case, these women are simply picking up on his lack of authenticity.  He’s not truly being himself.  He’s approaching these women from an energy of “what can I get away with?”  And these women intuitively know it.  We would typically call a guy like this a “player” however, another way to look at it is that he is not behaving in alignment with who he is inside and, what he is really wanting is an activity partner because it is safe.  He doesn’t want a relationship simply because he is not yet ready to let some of his walls down.
When you first fall for a guy, it’s all about lust. A massive release of endorphins and dopamine, a chemical reaction, that makes you want each other more. By snuggling with your man, you can create that same intrinsic need that makes him want you and love you more. You will be programmed into his brain and that’s going to make him miss you and love you more. So snuggle up and make it happen!
Oddly enough, many of my clients were successful in re-establishing contact with their ex boyfriends by simply not even trying.  They didn’t do anything except move forward with their lives, focusing on bettering themselves personally and professionally.  In a way, it is a form of what I call Passive No Contact or Passive Radio Silence.  It works for some people.  They figure that if their boyfriend dropped them, then so be it and instead of becoming dependent and addicted to their ex boyfriend, they choose to embrace other things in their life, doing those things they want to do and accomplish. Then as they focus on those things and have success, often times their ex boyfriends show up realizing they made a huge mistake letting their girlfriend go.
He Says He Misses Me: What Does It Mean When He Says He Misses You? The 10 Biggest Signs Your Ex Misses You How To Give Him Space So That He Misses You And Comes Back When Does A Man Miss A Woman? How To Make A Man Miss You (In 3 Steps) How to Give Someone Space Without Losing Them (Or Losing Your Mind) Exactly How To Make Your Ex Miss You After A Breakup
Wow I can’t believe how much I have written. I just checked and this is getting close to 10,000 words. Ok, we are very close to the end here. This section is all about taking a big risk. More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up. All the experts have a different view of how this should be done. The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now. However, if he didn’t don’t worry, I have a plan for you!

Hi, I could really use some advice. Me and my girlfriend of 9 months just broke up about 2 weeks ago. I wish I would have read this article day 1 because I've broken every rule on here almost. This article is amazing and is helping me cope a lot. So anyways, me and my ex knew each other as aquaintances for about 7 1/2 years. She was in a relationship the whole time I knew her until I found out she had broken up with her boyfriend. We got together about 3 months after she broke her 7 year relationship. It was amazing constant love and attention doing little things for each other, taking care of each other, we moved in together after about a month and a half although we stayed with each other constantly before we moved I. Together. The whole time we were together it was amazing, we had our ups and downs but nothing too terrible. I screwed up and looked at naked pictures of one of her friends online, at the time I felt it was harmless but she found out and I realize how bad I hurt her. She almost left me right there. But we we're fixing things and it was going great, then she goes to California for work for a week and sleeps with another guy. Then comes home and tells me immediatly about it and that she can't do this anymore, but she made it clear she still loves me. She just doesn't know what she wants. She is now and has been seeing a guy since a day or 2 after we broke up and theyve been spending all their time together. I won't her back of course, and I know she still loves and cares about me. I'm just worried about loosing her completely. I'm going to try everything this article said to do and hope it works. But I was wondering if you think i was a rebound relationship or if this guy is a rebound relationship. Today will be day 1 of no contact.
It can feel like you’re a contestant in the Miss America Pageant when you first start dating a guy. You think things are going well, but with dating app FOMO being a real thing — you know: the fact that a guy has at his fingertips an unlimited number of women to choose from, even if they wouldn’t choose him — you feel the need to step up your game so that you take first place in his heart and mind.
I have a 4yr old girl and a 2 yr old boy. My kids dad and i was together for 12yrs i kno all to well that this happens. My best advice is to start putting the kids in childcare and you get a lil job you like or at a daycare being you you are use to caring for kids for like 4 hrs a day and stop focusing on him. And he’ll come bac around. Like that you’ll start building your own friendships and your always busy. Pay him less attention and he is gonna be like damn what happen and what he’s expecting. Have fun a mothers life is stressful to you need a outlet.
Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging. However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative.
Sure, the singer's "need" is partly about sex — that’s what most of us hear in these lyrics. But if you think that’s all there is to it, you may want to take a fresh look at how men experience love and romance. Men have a deep longing for acceptance and respect — that's the real source of sweetness in the song. If you're wondering how to get a man to commit, this is a great insight.
SIDE NOTE: You may feel as if I am really grilling your approach to relationships here, but as I said, there’s a positive purpose to it. You need to see what went wrong first so that when you apply my how to win your ex back steps, you won’t be sabotaging the effectiveness of those steps by behaving in the ways that got you dumped in the first place.
I’m doing no contact and it’s giving me perspective and I’m working on my own emotions and self esteem and realising a lot about myself. I feel like if we both hadn’t been going through stuff and because of the distance. In a way although this is hard I see it as a blessing as it’s made me make changes mainly in the way I feel I don’t think I would have otherwise. I do want to talk to him again and I care about him but doing no contacts as much for him as it is myself. I don’t want to talk to him from a place of blame but one of giving and what I want to give is my confidence, mysetry, joy and best self and love myself completely so I can give them my best self. I really don’t want him out of my life despite what’s happened and am going to work on becoming my most attractive, happy, radiant and confident. You’ve seen so many people in this situation do you think it would be the right thing I’ve ive had and given him more space to talk to him I really want to and what would the best way of going about it?
Break ups aren’t easy and that fact is all the more true now, thanks to social media. It can be a really painful experience logging onto your profile to discover that you ex has been having seemingly the time of their lives, whilst you’ve been locked up at home missing them, but you don’t have to settle for that. You don’t have to be one of those people who watches from afar, as their ex takes off and never looks back.
A survey of 1,000 people by Lovehoney found 43% of women and female-identifying people had had sex with ex while they were looking for a new partner - the main reason was because they missed physical intimacy (42% of respondents). And almost a third (31%) said they had sex with the ex because they hoped to get back together with their former partner.
In the age of social media, dating websites, and apps, women always say how meaningful it is when men pick up the phone to plan a date, to follow up on a date, or just to chat in the initial courting stage. Also, while it is tempting to choose someone to date based solely on their pictures and information online there is still something to be said for old fashioned dating encounters, sitting across the table from someone and looking into their eyes.  Sometimes the best relationships first come from friendships, then best friends, and then falling in love.
Where did I come up with this? Actually this really happened to me. I was dating a girl and after we broke up I happened to run into her at a Starbucks and even though we had a short friendly conversation I couldn’t take my eyes off of her because she just looked so gorgeous. She looked so good in fact that all I could think was “how in the hell did I let her get away?”
The key to succeeding in this very first step is keeping your emotions in check. This is usually easier said than done, especially after a breakup when our emotions are usually running wild! When you miss your ex, it’s easy to let emotions and longing take hold, causing you to reach out to him in an attempt to stay on his mind, or maybe to reignite the spark.

In fact, seeing a reconciliation as anything other than a combination of mutual growth and effort is a pretty unhealthy approach. "I would avoid the mindset of 'winning' over anyone," says Dr. Mariana Bockarova, Ph.D., who teaches relationship psychology at the University of Toronto. "If your relationship is missing some key attributes, no one has won in the end."

When you’ve won his affection, you don’t want to give up all of your time for him. Your man is not going to miss you if you’re constantly available. Instead of spending the whole weekend together, take a night off and go out with your friends. Not only will it make your man miss you, it’ll keep you sane. Don’t worry about him enjoying the free time. Your man may seem to enjoy the time alone at first, but eventually your man will crave more time with you. Of course, giving him space to enjoy his alone time is going to make you look confident and less clingy. Guys really like it when the girl they’re interested in isn’t always in his business. Give him his space and he’ll be calling you up in no time to hang out.


This is Dana I just want you to help with my issue. I met a guy I obsorved his character he is genuine, and kind to everyone. The thing is that he is making me to feel that he likes me but when I started to talk him as a friend, he just telling me tat he got crush on some one else & her age is 22 and few days after he Says tat he is loving a girl from the same premises and she is 24. I didn’t understand what he is trying to tell. My question for you is did he making to jealous or he just wants avoid me.

There’s no trickery needed in making him miss you. It’s a matter of sometimes curbing your enthusiasm about how excited you are to be dating him, and finding ways to assert your independence. Having autonomy, we’ve learned, not only shows him that you’re not a clinging wallflower but that you’re confident and capable of enjoying yourself without being glued to his side.

This has been a secret among us ladies for many years and has never failed us… It certainly never failed me and I’m living proof! It is a lot harder than it sounds though as if you love him, you will no doubt want to spend every minute with him and fighting against that feeling can be hard. Just because you are lessening the amount of texts and dates, doesn’t mean you can increase the amount of Facebook activity.
With hindsight, Peter could see that the unpleasant situation he found himself in every day at work had left him depressed in the evenings. His response to depression had been to sink increasingly into "poor me" ruminations. "How can they treat me so unfairly? Why can't my boss appreciate my talents?  I'm stuck in a job that's not my thing. I hate having a job that doesn't fit and a boss who's chronically negative."
Hi, He sounds as if he has a lot of his own insecurities and is deflecting them onto you. He is constantly trying to change you, and tell you that you aren’t enough. You sound to me as if you are not comfortable in being yourself around him. You can’t petend to be someone else to please jom forever, so picture this you are trying to adapt yourself to who he wanrlts and he is still finding flaws. Aren’t you tired already,? he is damaging your self-esteem. There is someone out there , who you may or may not have met, that will adore you flaws and all, bit you have to love yourself enough to know when you are being tolerated , and ” handled”, not loved. This guy you are with, needs you a lot more than you need him, be careful not to allow him to force you to change into someone nobody wants, so thy he can keep you all to himself, while he used you. By that, I mean an insecure, unhappy person that doesn’t feel worthy of anything.
My girlfriend of almost a year broke up with me this week. I told her that I didn't want it but if that's what she wanted then she should go ahead. She wanted me to break up with her but I didn't want to because obviously, I want to be with her. We've been fighting for as long as I could remember. I know for sure that it's a trust issue and pretty sure this also lead to her losing respect for me. This isn't the first time we broke up so prior to this website, I've read multiple ones concerning how to get my ex back in the course of at least 5-6 months already. So I did what I know best right away and that's to not contact her. Her last message to me was that I should text her if I want to see her and talk in person. It's her offering me a closure conversation. As of now, I'm blocked from social media including Facebook messenger. I was needy in the relationship, I would always cry and beg. I would do everything for her and let her walk all over me. She would say the meanest things without a pause and I would just openly accept them because I blame myself for everything that's wrong in the relationship. She would start fights and always bring up past mistakes. I wasn't a bum in the relationship. I gave her all the attention that I could give, I put in effort and partly I think I've given too much and I was always available and thus lessening my value to her. I want to get her back. Please help. I'm hopeful to having another start with her but if I try everything and it doesn't work. I would gladly accept the break-up and happily move on. Thank you!
On the other hand, if you want a relationship that will really stand the test of time and last forever, you need to make sure that he doesn’t start to lose interest in you and pull away. Once that starts to happen the process is sometimes irreversible and he will be lost forever, so if you suspect at all that he’s pulling away from you then you need to read this right now: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…

Without literally telling him verbally, give your man a few good reasons why he shhould commit. Ensure that you are the type of woman that he wants before you think about a committment. Evaluate the relationship and see if you are both happy and willing to take it a few steps further. Be what he wants without forcing yourself to; be his happy place, his pillar of support. Contrary to what many people think, being able to wash, cook and clean are not the basic foundations of what makes a man happy and lean towards commitment. If you are seen as a great companion who he has to lean on at the end of his day, forcing him to commit will never be an option.


Furthermore, I want to mention something else that is aligned to this. I have seen several woman date a man and then come back and say “He was so into me in the beginning, he courted me and showered me with gifts, said all the right things, and was so eager to make me his.” But then once this man gets what he wants he moves on, and his actions start to change slowly. I call this type of man “the snake.” Men like this tend to be very narcissistic but also tend to get what they want often. They have a thrill of the chase, and they see a significant reward for their ego when they have won their prize. I always tell women to be VERY careful of a man who is too forward in the beginning. Take your time, and challenge someone who may be extremely forward. So many women fall for a man like this because we are hopeless romantics and you are pretty amazing! So, when you a see a man showing you so much affection and attention it starts to get you to think, “wow he is so different!” Right? Then you play this emotional mind game in your head stating “I would be stupid if I let this go.” I am going to explain further as you read on.
Stef Safran, is “Chicago’s Introductionista” and owner of Stef and the City. She’s a matchmaking and dating expert in Chicago. She’s been in the business for over 14 years, starting with recruiting contestants on “The Dating Game.” She founded Stef and the City in 2009 and have been featured in media outlets such as; the Huffington Post, Chicago Sun-Times, The Chicago Tribune, ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, Fox32 News, ABC7’s “Windy City Live”, WCIU’s “You and Me This Morning,” Time Out Chicago and more!
Men do enjoy being in relationships (when it’s with the right woman, that is), but at the same time, most men have a huge fear of losing their freedom and getting trapped in a situation with a woman who sucks them dry and leaves them feeling drained and uninspired. A man will feel “free” in a relationship when he’s with a woman who is whole and fulfilled in her life and doesn’t rely on the relationship to meet her every need.
Im not gonna brag but my momma gave birth to a beauty and I can’t hide it on my worst day. I’m intelligent, sweet and spicy saucy, intuitive. I work out and have a very nice natural body and no im not in my 20’s or 30’s either. everywhere i go almost everyday i get noticed by men and women alike. ive come to the conclusion that some of these me DO NOT BELIEVE THEY DESERVE A FINE ASS WOMAN such as myself. I know this because, with a couple of them they went for the woman who had less requirements and lower standards. they were I won’t say ugly, but i mean if we’re being honest, they were not a woman I could have been compared to. i hate saying this because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we are born with what we have. i don’t say what i said to sound rude, but all women don’t look the same just like all men are not 220 with perfect abs full head of hair and perfect teeth and gorgeous blue eyes etc. plus one of them even told me he couldn’t give me what i was looking for. and he was probably right after hindsight. i do want a man who can afford a car, and i do want a man who is willing to call me and not use texting as much. i do want a man who isn’t hung up on his druggie ex girlfriend and I do want a man who can get his own place to live. yeah now that i think about it he was right.
After only a 2 month relationship, is it possible to get him back? or is it just a fling? I totally get what you mean about 30 days to miss you and such, but 30 days of no contact seems like a lot considering it would be half the time we were together. He is definitely moved on, he was back on Tinder the day after we broke up. He's been polite and kind in the few times I've reached out since, but I can tell he definitely has no interest anymore. I just can't shake the feeling that no contact won't work in this situation. He has no reason to dislike me or anything, but Im sure he just sees me as someone who he wasn't ultimately compatible with. I'm not sure time apart would change that.

I have a friend (who wants to remain unnamed.) He ended up breaking up with his girlfriend of 5 months for some silly reason (I honestly never understood it.) Anyways, three months after their breakup she started dating a new guy. Immediately my friend called me up and wanted her back. He didn’t realize what he had until he saw her with another guy.
I’m going through almost the same thing with an almost 2 year relationship.. We lived together for over a year and he is OCD and I’m a clutter/messy person.. I always would say our apartment was too small & couldn’t fit all of our stuff. He just would say that I had too much junk & didn’t clean good enough. :( Anyway we broke up over 10 days ago because he said I couldn’t change. So much stuff was happening with his family (parents moved to another state) and he could see/talk to them anymore. He became depressed, and withdrew emotionally from me. He barely even talked to me. I withdrew from him for a week before the breakup when his friend came over because he was also distant and it created tension between us. I went to my moms the weekend he took his friend home because they wanted boy time. I became clingy the day before he made me leave. I hope your situation worked itself out and you two are together or are working on things! Mine said that we were done for good, I’m not right for him even though he still loves me. I’m just waiting in limbo & silence for him to come back.

After a few months, the calls and texts slowed down, I was still visiting, but not sure where I stood with him,I would text, and his responses weren’t the same as before, I started to think he wasn’t interested anymore, he would sometimes bring up the fact that he is not able to like or love someone on the emotional level, I felt like he was backing off. I just got back 2 days ago and while I was there I asked him if he liked me or had feelings for me, he looked sad but said no he doesn’t have feelings for me and he can’t like anyone because he doesn’t like himself. He would say “just keep being my friend”. I am heart broken over it….

Even if you want to win her back, you're going to have to accept and process the breakup either way because it's unlikely that you'll win her back simply by being the same person as you were. The panicking and desperate behaviors also would have made her feel more strongly about the breakup, and you're going to need to give both parties space right now. Go into no contact and process your emotions, follow the guidelines in our articles, before reaching out to her again.
Everyone recognizes when someone has an agenda, it’s just something our intuition picks up on and it immediately puts us off. Think about how you feel when someone approaches you and tries to sell something. Your first instinct is typically to get far away from them. It doesn’t matter how nice and friendly they are, you can’t trust them because you know they want something out of you.
Just imagine a scenario where you don’t want to talk to a person and they are sending you a text message every 5 minutes. Your inbox is filled with hundreds of messages by them, even though you haven’t replied to even one. And later on at night, that person gets drunk and calls you and start saying complete and utter non-sense. What would you think of that person? Would it make you want to start a new relationship with them?
Unfortunately Thomas, you don't seem like you're in the right place emotionally and mentally yet to be trying to win her back at this point. She still has a foothold over your emotions right now and until you're able to free yourself from it, you'll never win her back the right way. As much as it may suck to see her with someone else right now, it's something you have to accept and understand that there isn't much you can do about it, until you are able to free your emotions up and not let what she does affect you. Otherwise, you'll end up getting frustrated at times and behaving either out of jealousy or insecurities which pushes her further away and causes her to lose respect for you as a man, and potentially even seek out other guys in the process.
Is it appropriate to post or allow friend to post pictures in my social media like FB of me with another male?? even if we are friends but it can come across as more then friends. Is been 3 months that my on-off boyfriend of 4 yrs left the house we share for the 3 years, his excuses was that I would be better without him, is not the first time he leaves but I had been the one who always reach out to him and “convince him to come back”, I want different results so is been 2 weeks that I staring applying the no contact method and he has not contact me either.
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