I didn’t react well initially. I broke every rule. But after a couple days of it, I pulled myself together Accepted our fate. After his therapy he said it went well and has a lot to work on but he thinks after the session it’s best if we don’t communicate for a while. I finally went against the instinct to cry and such and I said “absolutely. Take care of yourself. Bye.” Then I blocked him. Someone told me not to because it shows I care but I had to so I’m not constantly wondering if he’s going to text or call or if I will. I want to make sure it’s cut. He initiated it yesterday (which sucks for me, does that decrease my chances of success?) initially i said we shouldn’t talk then we did and now I am going to keep my no contact. I won’t contact him. I’m going to do something this weekend, I’m also going to start Pilates. I’m going to focus all my energy on being the most independent happy sexy person. I want to love myself so much that he sees how much self love and growth and wants me back. Not even that I want to take him back after this trauma. I just don’t know if it will work. He still has my things and I asked for them back initially but he seemed to divert it. I’m not going to ask again and I’m going to abstain from social media. I just want to know the likely hood of this kind of circumstance and success especially when nothing specifically went wrong.
Now, the following strategies for getting him to bring up the subject all entail risk: Having The Talk, no matter who initiates it, might either scare him off or cause him to give you an answer you don't want to hear ("I don't want a commitment, but I'd love to continue having sex with you. Okay?"). But come on. You don't want to spend the rest of your life pining for some guy who thinks you're great to share a burger and a bed with but little else, right? The risk is generally worth taking.
My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago we were together 5 months. We would meet each other once/twice a week due to work schedules. He would always keep in touch every day via text or a call. We would be texting numerous times a day and most of the time it would always be him texting me. He seemed to be making no effort to meet up on last 2 weeks it was always me suggesting we meet which we did. When I suggested we both make more of an effort to meet up more regularly. He broke it off saying we both in different places and thats how he feels. Found out 2 days ago he has gone on holiday with a female friend. He tried to keep texting after we broke up as if nothing was wrong so I asked him to stop. I have had no contact with him since I asked him to stop. Going to concentrate on myself for now and refrain from contacting him. Guess what I would like to know is there any hope in getting him back.
Adam, can you, please, respond shortly to us, the ones we posted replies in here? At least a quick guidance about what you think the missing point of the big picture is in each of us situations! I don’t want to post a reply again on you tube. I just bought your book and another program, but until I will have the time to go through the entire thing and figure myself out WHERE I did wrong/or WHERE HE doesn’t pick up the pace, I could really use your educated smell that says it as it is! My guy is at work every time I run into him…he is Police, yeah, Mr. Police, but he is NOT ashamed to squeeze his head after me though, he just wanna make sure I don’t see him lately after he pulled off…so I don’t think he is not making the move bc the “work thing”….am I missing anything?
Hi Lauren, I have a question that is related in a big way, but not too related in others. You mentioned the concept of men doing the pursuing and women doing the recieving. I'm on my 4th Mars Venus book - Mars and Venus on a Date - and I noticed that this is a huge theme in the book. So my question is: What do you do if a guy gives you his number and says "call/text me"? When I first met my ex, I felt like I was pursuing him a bit because this is the way he approached me. We met working on a project, but to build off of our newfound friendship I attempted to flirt and create the opportunity for him to pursue me. We dated for about a year and I thought he could have been the one - until recently when we hit a wall in communicating that I felt I had to end it (since then I've been educating myself through therapy and Mars Venus books!). But, while at the time I never questioned the success/failure in me doing some reaching out, looking back now I'm wondering if that's something I could have done differently? The problem is, I wouldn't know how! It's a tricky situation. What happened was, like I said, he gave me his number (without me asking for it) and said to contact him. So I did and it went well! Then for our first date, from what I remember, I suggested that it would be nice to get to know eachother more. He told me to let him know when I wanted to go out. I pushed back this time and insisted that he should be the one asking me out, but he refused. To refrain from more back and forth, I planned the date. After that he became much more assertive and started asking me out and presenting me with ideas. But I'll be honest, I was a little turned off at his insecurity at first. He later told me he wanted to ask me out but was just very nervous, so I decided not to dwell on it and just appreciate that it worked out despite how it happened. But because I didn't want to do the pursuing, how would I have gotten him to do it?
You need to rely on your intuitions when you meet someone new. Nevertheless, avoid being judgmental or picky from the beginning. It is vital for you to be open-minded. In fact, you should stop overanalyzing every single aspect. Things work out in a better way when you take it easy for the first few weeks. This will also help you to get to know the guy better.
It is natural to feel scared about going up to someone who has rejected you. You may be worried that he won't talk to you, won't be friendly and perhaps won't answer any questions you may have. All of this is natural and normal. If you really want to approach him to ask him something, consider going with a friend you can rely on and perhaps having them doing some of the talking on your behalf. Choose somewhere neutral and calm, and have a good excuse to leave quickly if things seem too awkward for you, such as "Thanks for the quick chat, I have to get to an appointment now". Most of all, realize that if you don't get the answers or discussion you'd hoped for, that it's not a reflection on you, as you've shown much courage, but is about your ex-boyfriend's method of dealing with the situation in his own way and isn't a slur on you.
My ex girlfriend and I broke up about 6 weeks ago. From there all I had done was being needy and desperate. She would block me and unblock me and all I did was just like a fool was just beg and plead. Honestly I've understood the reason of the break up and I've accepted it and I understand how much I messed up... especially since I was sending her a message that I couldn't change. If you must know I am very confident and I know I can get her back if I do things correctly. We haven't talked in 2 weeks. and since then I've been working on myself and taking my time to understand my mistakes so i could learn from them. I know that she blocked me because i pressured her in such a bad way that led her to that choice and I know understand all my mistakes. I'm a very confident guy know but my question is how should I approach her. I really cannot connect her because she fully blocked me and i don't know if she wants to talk to me because i don't know wether she wants that or not. Now for the past few days she's been looking kind of sad since we haven't talked and she's been kind of starring at me and she also started to follow me ( trying to get my attention in a way) but also she's been trying to act like if she's the one in control and she doesn't really get affected so that kind of leads me to ask you guys What should I do at this point and also why is she trying to get my attention if she acts all so tough like if she's holding all the cards?
Here’s the thing about relationships — they require another person with their own opinions and feelings. "I also like to get my clients to appreciate that your ex is a free agent," Engler says. And your former flame’s ideas about the breakup may not match your own. "You need to give your former partner space to make a decision," says Stubbs. "You have to respect their autonomy in regards to their feelings and timeframe." In other words, while you may have easily come to the realization that you can’t live without them, they may not have the same feelings about you.
Is there another possible explanation for what seems like hot and cold behavior? Yes! If it’s not something new going on in his life that’s changed his routine, it could be about your relationship. It’s possible his feelings are dwindling, but it’s also possible he’s just settling into a more natural routine now that he feels the relationship is more settled.
Thomas Gilovich, a psychologist at Cornell University has done quite a lot of research as to why it is better to treasure memorable and pleasant experiences rather than the material things we buy. There are many reasons for this as outlined in his study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Comparing possessions and looking at better objects after purchase can be demoralizing and ruin the initial pleasure we got when purchasing and taking possession of that new car, TV or computer.
Every relationship is a power struggle. It may not sound very good to hear and you may not agree but that’s how I see it. You can believe in love, compassion and valuing your partner and still understand that at some point it becomes a power struggle between you and the person you love; in order to live out a type of relationship that mirrors who you are and your values.
So you’ve mastered the ways to stop a man from withdrawing, and everything seemed to be headed in a rosier direction, it’s time to implement some positive communication skills. Once you’ve calmed down from analyzing and you’ve created some much-needed space, it’s time to figure out how to express how you’re feeling without causing more ripples in your relationship.
Work on your self-esteem. If you struggle with neediness, you're probably a little lacking in the self-esteem department. You might be looking for your ex to make you feel better about yourself, but the fact is that you are the only person who can really do that. You shouldn't base your happiness on someone else. It makes them feel guilty, obligated and eventually, resentful towards you.
My first boyfriend actually hated himself and was suicidal, and no matter what I did to support him and how much I loved him, I couldn’t actually make him love himself. And to be honest it ended up affecting me too and with other life circumstances (friendsh*ts, bad relationship with my mom at the time) I got so depressed myself that I also had suicidal thoughts. It was horrible. And it`s been some time and things have changed for me, but I just wanted to say I`ve both seen and learned myself the importance of self love and being committed to ourselves!
A goddess "lives confidence." She may not feel authentically confident but she is smart enough to witness her emotions as they are pop up, recognizing when her insecurities are causing her to take a man's behavior personally. She knows when to feel whatever painful stuff comes up inside her and then does exactly what a confident woman would do — not let his behavior define her self-worth!
...And then I got back with one of my exes. I know, it pains me to say it out loud. Not because they're the worst person on earth and I was ashamed, but because I went back on my word. My point is: it's easy to claim revisiting a former relationship is a bad idea and to dish out advice to your pals like you're the moral compass of the group, but when it happens to you, you realise actually it's not always such a ridiculous idea.
You’ve gone to all the right places. You’ve said all the right things. And now you got the girl! Before you know it, you’re a proud owner of a cute Pomeranian named ‘Fluffy’ and there are more women’s toiletries in your bathroom than at the Macy’s counter. Congratulations. You’re in a relationship with a woman with whom you want to spend every waking moment for the rest of your life. So how do you sustain it? Just follow these three DON’Ts:
Answer: Stop trying to make something happen when it isn’t right. Most women who find themselves in this position know in their heart that something isn’t right. Instead of pursuing him to find out what’s going on with him, it may be time for you to find that person inside of you who knows you deserve someone who is completely into you, not just staying to avoid hurting your feelings. [Read: 16 signs it’s time to move on and end the relationship]
If your focus is on finding hot guys so you can post pictures with them on your social media pages and make your ex jealous, or show up places where you know he’ll be with a hottie on your arm, you need to fix your priorities asap. Again, you need to be focusing on yourself at this time, not on getting a reaction out of him. An angry reaction is not what’s going to make him realize you’re the love of his life and it’s not going to ensure things work the second time around.
Since she may honestly be expecting you to come across as intense and want to have a serious conversation, perhaps it might be better to do the opposite and start by being light hearted and while addressing some of the issues during the breakup may be needed, at least ensure that she has a good time and that stress isn't added onto her plate now or she wouldn't even want to consider the idea of getting back together. By letting her enjoy the weekend (and date with you so to speak), you at least 'show' her with your actions that you're capable of change and that you understand how stressed she is and you just wanted to help her unwind - which could work a lot more positively in your favor than having a serious talk.
This is important for you and for him. Your body and mind are reflections of your well-being so devote time and money to your self-care. Your man is attached to you both emotionally and physically, so it is worth maintaining both your outward appearance and your mental health by paying attention to their good working state. Don’t let yourself go. Eat healthfully and incorporate physical movement into your day. Take time to practice activities that nourish your spirit and challenge your mind.
However, I have been suffering from undiagnosed mental illness for the past four years, due to a traumatic/abusive relationship I was in previously. I frequently got overemotional, scared of intimacy or potential abandonment or felt that I was undeserving of him, which meant that I often 'sabotaged' myself by pushing him away. My boyfriend really cared for me; my self-hatred and my fear meant that he constantly felt unable to support me and distant from me. A month before our breakup, we were both in a very stressful situation (exams, among other things) and a fight, over him saying something offensive on accident, led to me having a panic attack. Again, I tried to self-sabotage and said I wanted him to leave me which really hurt him. I was so apologetic and couldn't stop blaming myself for his pain, but he was so cold to me. For a month leading up to the break-up, he barely spoke to me and we only saw each other once. We fought a lot, as I constantly tried to apologise or make amends but also got upset/angry that he would ignore me and the problem...
You know, the thoughtful gestures that make her feel valued and loved, such as: holding her hand, kissing her hello, saying “I love you”, pulling her in for a cuddle, complimenting her when she has made an effort to look good (or has been extra friendly to your awful Aunt Peggy) answering her questions, really listening to her, remembering small details about what she likes, saying thank you, and of course, surprising her with a little something special – just because.
"Although it will take some work to rebuild trust, this is your opportunity to form an even deeper bond," Dr. Bockarova says. "But that can only be if you speak up to your partner about what you like and dislike, when you feel hurt and when you feel happy, and how you'd like to be treated." She also recommends therapy to sort out any recurring issues.
Really interesting theory and scientific backup. I actually agree that human behaviors and emotions are largely influenced by hormones and chemicals. I am a biolochemistry student, and I have been taught this kind of things in class. It's quite interesting in my opinion how men and women differ emotionally just because we don't have the same hormones in our bodies. Just something to think about 🙂
For some the search can be long and difficult, and for others it can be quick and easy. A lot of variables go into the length, ease, and success of that search, but the one thing that will boost your efforts is how well you present yourself. It’s imperative, especially early on, that you look your best every time we see you, at least for the first few months of the relationship. This is not men being vain or superficial. Unless your father is Bill Gates, how you look is the strongest magnet you possess. Your hair must be done, your nails neatly painted, and your clothes should highlight your assets and hide your liabilities. Loose sweats, uncombed hair pulled back under a baseball cap, and rundown Ugg boots are fine once the relationship is in high gear, but definitely a turn-off when at the beginning. In our minds, if you are not making the effort to look your best when we barely know each other, we dread the thought of what you’ll look like a couple of months into the relationship.
Your chances are definitely going to be there as long as the relationship was a meaningful one. However given his age in particular, there could be a chance that he's also exploring at this stage of life and being with someone older was simply an experience he wanted to try but still felt more comfortable at the end of the day being with someone closer to his age. Continue with no contact and after you're done, you could reach out to him to see where he stands on being friends again. You'll have to do things a step at a time starting as friends, before you're able to rebuild attraction further, so the best advice I can give you is to remain patient and avoid building up unnecessary expectations.
If you think this is one of those times then you are in the right place. This guide is all about getting that one last chance to make things right. This guide will give you the knowledge that you need to get your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend back and keep them. If your relationship still doesn’t work, then you can rest assured that this relationship wasn’t meant to be. But if it works, you will be glad that you took the time to read these 3 steps.
I meant a friend who directed me to Dr. Ikhine on the internet who help people to solve their problem and then i wrote to him and he said i should not worry about anything, that i should give him 48 hours for him to cast a spell for me and after that 48 hours my ex boyfriend called me on my office line and started begging. That is how my ex boy friend came back to me contact Dr.ikhinesolutionalter@gmail. com or WhatsApp +2347039543760 his help is guaranteed.