I havnt texted him since nor have he reached out. Sigh I guess blow this , What to do now, surely feeling stuck to win him back. I shouldnt have done the letter because now he knows I want him back sigh this sucks. Not sure how to reverse that either. Timeline of contact & no contact. After the break up we went one week no contact and the week after that on a Monday I initiate contact so that he but his half the pay the bills. The Tuesday he initiated contact that he have paid his half. It was more a business conversation. On Wednesday was my birthday and he initiated contact through text to enjoy my day On the 22 he initiated contact that he was coming by the house, I didn't answer and 29 of November he initiated contact again Stating he was coming by the house I didn't answer. The reason I didn't respond was because he at the time he had my house keys so he had access, whenever he wants. He sent another text on the 29th Asking if I had paid a bill only then I respond. During this same week, I knew he was angry since his coworker told me that they didn't kiss, since her called got transferred to my phone and I ask her and she told him that I ask her. He then called me 7 times back to back but I didn't answer. I went 2 weeks no contact although he was the one to contact. On the 1st December I initiated contact asking if we could talk just to tell him what's going on that when he came to the house for the clothing. Since Monday December 5 2016 he haven't reach out and so I sent a text 10 December "you are truly one for a kind, unique in every way. I am so glad I met you because there is nobody else like you in the world" and today I2 December I sent " You changed me in positive ways that I am still just starting to understand" I got no response, should I cut off contact, or have I just blow my chances of getting him back. Sigh Add a comment......

My story illustrates the power of working on yourself, of being your best self, of being in a happy, settled place before you enter into a relationship. The reason my husband doesn’t know what shifted is that it wasn’t a tangible thing. It was my vibe and my energy. I changed a lot from the beginning of the summer to the end, I did a lot of important inner work and I genuinely loved myself and was happy with my life. That’s the kind of energy that draws people in. That’s what makes people see you in a different light.
Spend some time in no contact to work on your issues on insecurities and make positive changes to your life. Often if a party doesn’t know why they want the relationship to end, it could simply be that they just feel overwhelmed by the emotions and it would be easier to let go. Show her these changes at the end of no contact when you reach out and try not to be too pushy or needy this time around.

Luckily, the period of no contact will give you the time to put in place practices and structures to help you drop your stories and see things in a more positive light. Journaling, meditating, and yoga also helps. Maybe it sounds a little too new-age for you, but intense emotional experiences can send your thoughts into overdrive, so it’s really important to try and find a stillness within and learn to quiet your mind, or at least slow it down a bit.
Ask him if he's ever been to Guam. Or New Mexico. Or Phoenix. "I hear they have giant lizards there," you might say, toying with your pasta. "I'd like to live where there are giant lizards." By contemplating a big move — to another city, country, or hell, another apartment (and out of your shared bedroom) — you show him you're antsy with the current setup. "We were talking about my job, and I told him I wasn't seeing a future here. He suggested sending resumes around town," says Jenna McCoy, 28, an accountant for a Philadelphia law firm. "He didn't get the hint. So I told him I needed to make a larger change, like maybe to another city, because I was stagnating. The first thing out of his mouth was 'Is it me?'"
So it was a deadly suprise that all of the sudden he texted the day after we both said good night and how we love each other, saying he had confusing feelings about the relationship and a few hours later ended it over text saying that he doesn't want to lose me and he "loves me a lot" and that if we continued it would increase our chances of getting into a huge arguement and ending our relationship in a horrible way. So he ended it and we ended in a good way like he wanted and remained friends because he doesn't want to lose me.
I have been seeing my boyfriend for about 8 months now. He completely swept me off my feet in the beginning (it was like a love bomb). He started changing a couple months after that — we never really “dated” — it just went from a couple dates where he would take me out and drop me off at my apartment and go back to his. Then, a few weeks later he was practically living in my apartment full time. He blames me for everything wrong in the relationship — shuts down emotionally now and we just had another blowout and he says to me he needs a week of space. I think he was just using me for convenience because my apartment was closer to his for work. I am so confused. He is not texting much anymore, not interested in my goals and things we used to share and that bonded us in the beginning. It just feels so empty and I can’t talk to him because he automatically says that I focus on him too much and I analyze the relationship too much. He calls me crazy and negative, among other things. He basically just comes over and sleeps. No connection, no emotion. I don’t know what to do anymore. I think it’s time to let him go — I also think he has narcissistic traits as i’ve been trying to read and educate myself. Could you offer any advice? Thank you.
Probably give it another 2-3 weeks to even a month if you have to, considering that its been some time since the break up but she still doesn't seem ready. You could send the elephant in the room letter after this NC, and if she does not respond positively towards you still, you might seriously want to consider letting go instead, because she may simply not be interested anymore.
It's common that someone continues to love a person even though they're no longer in love. It simply means that the passionate feelings she might have once had for you has started to fade, but it doesn't mean that she's stopped caring about you altogether (which is why she still shows care and concern). I suggest figuring out what went wrong and where she started to lose her spark for you and see if you are able to re-ignite that spark again.
My ex boyfriend are both in our mid-20s and dated for 6 months until he broke up with me out of the blue when I came back from a vacation almost two months ago. He did it via text, blaming it on mental health issues and two days later called me to meet up and talk about it. The whole time he was being extremely affectionate. I told him we could be friends but saw him on tinder that night and told him that was hurtful and cut contact. I realized that I had been acting insecure and reactive towards him and focused on being a more laid-back and positive me. Almost 4 weeks later I contacted him via text. He responded positively and I called him that week and he said he would love to hang out, then went cold on me when I tried to confirm plans. I saw him at the bar that night with other girls and kept my cool going up to him asking how he’d been, then went back into no contact after he ignored my text for a day. A couple weeks later I called him in a moment of weakness but he didn’t answer. He texted me that morning though and we started chatting a bit via text and Snapchat for a few days, and I asked him to hang out. We hung out at his place and just watched tv and talked. I felt confident and he seemed nervous. It seemed to be going great and he was heavily flirting with me, reminiscing and talking about future plans. I was sweet but playing it cool and being skeptical, not flirting too much. After I left he texted me thanking me for seeing him, telling me how awesome and sexy I am. The next day I called him to get lunch but he didn’t answer and texted me 20 mins later saying he was coaching and we had a quick, positive convo. That was a week and a half ago now and he’s ignored a text I sent him of a funny video the other day. Then, last night he posts a Snapchat of himself with another girl, which he never posts them. Did I scare him off for good with initiating too much contact? What’s the best course of action? I want to give it another chance because we had a loving relationship.

If both you and your ex are on the same page then there really shouldn’t be a reason why you can’t go back for some fun once in a while. In saying that, this is rarely the case. In my opinion it’s best to stay away: if you’re just after a bit of fun, then download Tinder. Avoid any situations where people could potentially get their feelings hurt, no matter how little harm you think it can do at the time.
There is usually an underlying reason for his sudden change in his behavior. It's something you may have to figure out if you want to win him back, and if it's something that can be resolved or not. Often, it may be a sudden incident or stress in a person's life that causes them to act this way. There's also a chance that a third party may have been involved, as these are among the common reasons for someone to break up with their partners.
I hope this article helped you better understand what it takes to get your ex back and make it work. But there is more you need to know. It is possible to get your ex back, but it won’t happen because you want it to. You can get him back, but you need to know a few things. Do you know what makes your ex desperately miss you and realize you were the “one”? If not, you need to read this article next: Do You Want Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Use This to Get Him Back...
Have your non-negotiables and boundaries, but dating with a strict itemized wish list—he must make this much, be this tall, drive this car, be this funny—will only hold you back from men who could be great for you in real life and limit you to men who only look good on paper, says Goldstein. “If you need a wish list it should be small and include feeling words instead of car makes and job titles,” she adds.
Given the length and seriousness of your relationship, there's definitely still a chance. You just have to give him some time to let go of the compiled negative emotions he may be dealing with right now that translates into resentment towards you. In the meantime, it's best for you to also spend some time addressing the aspects of the relationship that you contributed in turning it sour, and improve on those aspects, so that when either him or you reaches out down the road, these changes you've made gives him a good reason to come back. Our EBP Advanced System will go into depth and teach you how to deal with these issues and pick yourself up emotionally once more, so that you come out stronger. It will also teach you how to proceed with your actions in order to win him back and the changes you need to be addressing in order to make things work.
Getting back on his feet involved reconnecting with old friends, and making contact with new ones as he pursued interests in activities he enjoyed. He joined a book group, found a place with religious services that he liked. He recalled the sports activities that in better times, he used to enjoy and returned to doing those activities again. Bit by bit, his spirits lifted.
You should stop begging or acting desperate in wanting her back because all you're doing is pushing her further away and scaring her off. If she really has someone she likes now and intends to pursue it, there isn't much you can do but to go into no contact and start working on recovery first before you even consider an action plan to win her back.
I love this article, I am definitely going to follow your advice. My only concern is that my ex might’ve done the 4wk no contact along with every thing else to me already. He now texts me everyday and he recently told me that he loves me and he misses me but hasn’t said he wants to get back together and he is talking to another girl. Should I still do this?
Hi Eric, I have situation that you’ve probably dealt with. I was seriously dating /living with the love of my life and we were so inove that we wouldn’t even consider anyone else. We were together for a yr and 5 months when an ex-friend ( homewrecker) began conversing with him in posts on social media. I trusted him, so nenever thought there would be risk. He ended up leaving me for her, moved in with her, and has been playing “step-dad” to her rotten kids. We’ve tried several times to work it out because he says he knows he hurt me, he screwed up and now he loves 2 women and he’s confused and has not been able to choose. He knows she wrecked us but can’t seem to get completely back to me. He even calls her stupid, and says he’s miserable with her. Now, I’m not so stupid as to not know that actions speak louder than words, but I love him and want to put us back together. She will never be the woman that I am and I think part of him feels sorry for her while I do not!! She has always been extremely jealous of me, but I’m in NO way jealous of her. Can you offer any advice? I know this is the condensed version of too many details to list…I wish I could talk to you. I believe there is hope as I know men at 46 go through mid life crises. At 45 myself though, I know what I want…hope to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks…
Hi there. My boyfriend of two and a half years just broke up with me a week ago. He currently just left for college and since I'm one year younger I'm still home. We had been planning to stay together throughout college and there have been many talks about our goals for the future. We never fought, but always communicated. We were a real pure relationship and everyone around us could see we were meant to be. All the sudden he gets drunk at a party one night and breaks up with me over a phone call. I know your probably thinking it's because we wants his freedom in college and doesnt want to be tied down, but he isn't that kind of guy. He specifically told me that he has been depressed this pass week and doesn't think that his life will be happier or better without me, but he "has to do this." My bestfriend also told me he told her he won't fall in love again until he's 25. The reason why he claims to be doing this is because long distance is too hard for him if we dont have a future together. But, he has always seen a future and admitted that he is pushing me away right now. My bestfriend (who is also his best friend) thinks that he thinks he is saving me from eventual heartbreak in the future. I don't know how to get him to realize he's not thinking clearly, especially because he only thought about breaking up with me one day before he actually did it and said "he couldn't do it unless he was drunk." He also told me he loved me 45 minutes before he broke up with me and said how he couldn't wait for me to visit and how all his friends were going to love me. So honestly I think he is just getting scared about the future because he tends to do that. He has texted me to make sure I was okay and still wants to be in my life. How do I make him realize I'm the one again because up until the day he broke up with me he believed it? I dont know what to do.
Your girlfriend wants to know that you have eyes for her only.  She needs to know why you chose to be with her.  And she wants to see that you will be loyal to her.  Most woman worry that you will tire of them, move on or become unfaithful.  By expressing why you are with her, she will feel more secure in the relationship and that you are not going anywhere.
Hello, my boyfriend and I have been dating for the last 3 years. He did break up with me before about 2 years ago bc he wanted to grow and get his life together due to money issues. We are both almost 26 and in real estate. I did no contact for 2 weeks and I texted him and he texted me paragraphs about how much he missed me and long story short we got back together. We lasted a total of 2 more years. About 4 days ago he broke up with me again. He was the one that wanted to see me everyday and he was always taking care of me and I did the same for him. Without even me pushing he wanted to see me about twice a day before and after work and always wanted to spend lots of time with me. Even the same day of the break up he talked about moving out together and he always talked about the future and getting me a ring the last few weeks even months. He flipped on me all of a sudden 4 days ago and told me over text he doesn’t want the relationship bc he has to focus on himself and get a place and get his life together. Shocked I kept asking him questions begging him not to leave but he kept saying he has to do this and it was hurting him too. I went to his sisters wedding a few days ago and met his whole family. They all loved me and his dad told everyone I was his daughter in law and his sister said I was his sister in law. He told me the wedding made him realize how quick everything was moving and he needed to grow himself. How can he flip on me and act cold so suddenly. It broke my heart. Our relationship was very strong and we were always there for each other like a married couple. We even had a trip coming up next month. He just acted so cold so suddenly and didn’t answer my texts after that. I tried to ask him will there be an us again or future together and he just said he didn’t want thi anymore and that he has to focus on himself. I did no contact for 4 days now and it’s tearing me apart. I want to marry this man one day and I miss him so much. We planned our future together :(
Chances are that you are here because you are still very much in love with your ex boyfriend. If this is the case you will likely be wondering how to make him want you back. When you listen to your friend at this time they will be telling you to get over him and move on with your life. This is a lot easier said than done and not the advice that you want to hear right now. If you really do believe that he is the right person for you, then you will have to do some work and not be dissuaded by well meaning friends. If you are determined that this is what you want to do, you will have to have a good plan. With the help of the experts, you will learn how to make him want you back again and even make his love for you stronger than it was before. You have to be proactive though, so let's get started.
Well she did say she came ready to have a hard time and so at first it was difficult for both of us, we ended up laughing and she grabbed my arm and everything at the end of the day so I guess she ended up relaxing and enjoying herself, said she was glad to have seen me...She said she won't have a relationship with me but agreed to continue to meet up and that after I expressed my true intentions and feelings, that I was commited to change, that I loved her and that I didn't gave up that dream, so we did have an intense talk first thing and then we just enjoyed each other's company. So I guess...There's hope there. In my opinion now I have to continue improving myself, being a friend for her like when we started and just be trully patient. While I wasn't expecting to get back together right there and then it went well I think, now I can see her again and continue to show her that I'm commited to real change and that I'm there.
Look, I know how hard it is to not contact the one person on this earth you want to see and speak to more than anyone else. I fully get it. But just because we want something doesn’t mean it’s in our best interest to go after it. It’s like going to the gym. Sometimes it’s really hard to summon the strength to get yourself there, but you do it because your goal is to be fit and healthy. Here, your goal is to get your ex back and have a healthy, loving, mutually fulfilling relationship. That can only come about when you’ve taken time to gain clarity and perspective.
It can feel like you’re a contestant in the Miss America Pageant when you first start dating a guy. You think things are going well, but with dating app FOMO being a real thing — you know: the fact that a guy has at his fingertips an unlimited number of women to choose from, even if they wouldn’t choose him — you feel the need to step up your game so that you take first place in his heart and mind.
This might be as simple as not sharing everything you’re thinking or feeling and avoiding telling him everything that he might want to know…or even what he asks.  Be unpredictable.  Rather than let him get used to your routine, challenge him with new activities and don’t let him become comfortable in your presence.  Remind him this is a date and anything can happen!
I purchased your advanced guide, but I had a question that isn’t really answered. She broke up with me then didn’t talk for a few weeks. I contacted her we tried being friends then she unfriended me on social media. I assume cause she said I had a unhealthy attachment to her. I ran into her at school and ig I’m asking do I still have a chance or should I let go and move on? I realize my faults and that what our relationship turned into was negative, but I believe we could still work.
Getting back together with the one you love will require you to think outside the box and give serious consideration to what you can do to prove to your ex that you have evolved. If you keep doing the same things that you were doing during your relationship, and if you try to communicate with your ex in the same way; how can you reasonably expect a different outcome?
Dear Lauren, My ex broke up with me about 3 weeks ago and I just started no contact about a week ago. We were dating over 3 years. I have a college class with her and ironically sit next to her. How do I continue no contact when I see her everyday? The night before she decided to move out she told me she wanted us. The next night she went out after work and told me we were done, and she never came home. We had been living together for over a year now and finally moved into our own place. I'm pretty sure she slept with a guy she had been casually seeing from work the night before she never came home. I know she slept with him and I know we are over but I was her only sexual partner ever. How do I get her to see the good times we had and miss me? I really want her back and think we can be stronger than ever. ...
He broke up with me last Monday after 1 year and 3 months, for me it was the happiest time of my life and we never fought and had a happy and loving relationship. Reading this has really helped me as I’m going into my second week of NC tomorrow. I genuinely think we both needed a break but I’m not going to sit here and believe that we’re gonna get back together I’m just going to do my 4 Week Detox, then go from there. Wish me luck . X
I met a guy whilst on holiday in Egypt. He seemed really lovely and we saw each other every day and eventually went to his flat ad stayed there at night with him so we were spending 24 hours a day together. Hr said he loves me and wants to marry me I didn’t take it too serious but then I found I had called for him. On my last day he gave me his number and Facebook. When I got back to England I looked at his Facebook it was all women tourists which he has commented on their wall my love habibi and sending hearts to them. The two profiles I could see were a year ago these comments were made but I would not have gone there at all of I had of seen this to start with. He also had one for Arab friends. I went to finish it because I am 43 and he is 26 and I can’t be doing with the drama of Facebook. He never added me but said he would delete his facebooks it took him a couple of weeks but he did it. I said messenger as well because of all these women he had contact with. He said he would and he did. We have spoken everyday and night then hr started no messaging me at night his cousin told me he takes women out shopping at night for money so when he wasn’t messaging me he was doing that and he was saying no women. I made a fake profile of a woman who was gorgeous and he added her on messenger before he deleted it.It came to a massive argument he said I was jealous etc and he said he wanted to finish it. I did a terrible thing and emailed his work and told them he was taking women outside the hotel (they aren’t supposed to) and he got fired. When I got a response from the hotel they said this isn’t the first or last time it will happen that’s why he got fired. We still were speaker he was still telling me he loved me and messaging me but he was sad about loosing his job and I feel so guilty I just got sick of the lies (if they are lies) I was to meet his family and then we were planning to get married. I forgave him for all that because I know I can be jealous. I don’t know if it because I wouldn’t act like this when I have a boyfriend. Anyway a week ago he sent me a message saying I will need forgive you for loosing my job no work etc. Although I had sent money equilvilent to his monthly salary that he lost and said I would do it every month till he gets a job because his family rely on HIM for money. We had a n arguement he blocked me off wats app downloaded messenger again. I downloaded viber a day later and said I loved him he said he loved me and missed me and hr wasnt going to delete messenger although he says he wants this to speak to his family he has gone to see his family so I wander is he speaking to the women he had on Facebook? He hadn’t initially told his mom about me sending and email to his work bit has now told her she says I am bad and he isn’t to marry me he said loves me still I said I will leave him till he has got rid off messenger. He said OK I love you and that was three days ago. I read this article and feel better but I do miss him but do wander is it worth all the bother with this silly apps x
Yes, there are certain rules even for your mini date/meet up or whatever you want to call it. As stated above, you want to keep this meet up as casual as possible. Don’t plan to meet over a nice dinner. I suggest getting coffee at Starbucks with chairs and couches where the two of you can just sit and talk. Another great idea would be to meet up at a park and go for a walk together. Honestly, the dates I have enjoyed the most wasn’t anything super romantic it was just when I was enjoying the company of someone else and walking around.

We ran into each other randomly about five years later. I was stunned to see him (he was in my house of all places, someone brought him to a party there and he had no idea he’d be seeing me!). I could barely speak I was so nervous. We chatted for a bit, then he messaged me on Facebook a few days later and we talked for hours and hours, I was positive that this was the beginning of round two for us, but then he went dark again. A few more years went by and we ran into each other again. Once again I had soaring high hopes… and then was crushed again when nothing came of it (I found out later he had a girlfriend at the time).

Sometimes guys will think they have just fallen head over heals for someone else.  But sometimes the truth is that it’s not love, bit just pure sex.  So you may be wondering, how will I ever get my ex back if he is hooking up with some other girl.  Well, we are going to get into all that, but for now, just know that sometimes boyfriends will wander off either because they are lured away or that just have not yet learned that they are risking blowing up the good thing they have going with you.
Hey Ryan, so my boyfriend of nearly 2 years just broke up with me about a week and a half ago. During this time last year a similar instance happened. I’m his first serious relationship, the first time he admitted to being overwhelmed and not sure if he wanted to continue or not. Over time we worked things out, he came to me and told me he wanted to be with me. Now again, a year later, and a lease signed for a move in date in November, and we are back to being “done”. This time it was in part because my mental health has taken its toll on me and I let it take its toll on my relationship. Of course, he has his issues too. For the first few days he’d still message me, when he came to see me twice he would ask for hugs, hold and embrace me and ask if I’d been seeing anyone. I’m currently doing no contact starting as of yesterday afternoon. I found out from a friend he was on tinder again. I know guys grieve differently than girls, but of course it still hurts.
Hi I have been dating my boyfriend for two years now he used to be like the best thing ever made be feel loved like never before. But of recent he got in to medical school and it started stressing him out and he started giving me less attention and I was actually going through a lot during this period and he was so busy that he wasn’t giving me attention so I started complaining and fighting with him a lot and asking for more attention but eventually he started avoiding me and every time I am with him and his not doing what I want I would start crying and I could feel him drifting away more and more then I spoke to him one night and he said he was indifferent about the relationship and wants us to be friends I cried so much and begged him for a second chance he actually really cares for me this Part I know out of pity he gave me a second chance then a few days ago he sent a random text saying his sorry he ever hurt me and he loves me so much but he still doesn’t call or text me much it hurts cause I really love him and I don’t want to loose i just need advice on what to do because all I want to do is talk to him every time but I don’t want to chock him and if his online and doesn’t text me I start to feel like he doesn’t want to talk to me the thing is how do i give him space and still make him love me as much as he used to

Understanding that you do not need a man in order to be the best version of yourself is crucial. Loving yourself and doing exactly what makes you happy is key, which means that you need to know how to be happy alone. When you have this type of mentality, you will be able to spot red flags instantly and become more admirable. If a man wants to be with you, he will make it known throughout the relationship. He will make it known in healthy ways of properly courting you. He’s not going to send you the late night 11 pm or 1 am text for you to come over and “watch a movie.”
When you’re dating you can check to see if your values are aligned, but once you are in a committed relationship it can take some information, new skills and practice to co-create a loving partnership. As a relationship coach I help my clients look at the big picture: to feel truly heard and to understand the other. I think the key here is “partnership” which allows each person to be respected and to contribute to the greater good of the relationship and to the world. We have no models for healthy relationships so most people are building the plane as they’re flying it!
Hey! I’m 19& I may have a crush on this guy who approached me in WhatsApp! I was distant at first cuz that’s what I’m like with strangers ,especially guys, who tries to talk to me even when I make it clear that I don’t want to have a conversation with them. But now its been two months and turns out he is not some stranger, he is in same college as me and we have two out of four classes together.
This is why it’s important that not only do his friends like you, but you need to make sure that they love you! Don’t come across as fake though, they’ll be able to see right through you. Instead, be cordial, be friendly, smile and laugh at their jokes. Become friends with his friends’ girlfriends, too. If you can make a good impression on his pals, their love for you may be more than enough for your guy to finally realize you’re The One, and he will be ready to finally settle down with you.
I know there’s nothing wrong with anyone watching a little porn. However, if you are having a hard time getting aroused by the real woman who’s sleeping next to you in bed and you’re easily turned on by some anonymous woman on your computer screen, then you need to consider that porn might be creating more problems than you think. Studies have shown that dopamine is a key factor in reward-driven learning and that certain addictive drugs—cocaine, amphetamine, and methamphetamine—directly affect the dopamine system. When someone is sexually aroused, the same seven areas of the brain are activated as when doing these drugs.
Hi! I was dating this guy (unofficially because we never really discussed labels) for about a month. He’d text me every single day and we’d talk for hours. We had amazing chemistry and common interests. He said he found me very interesting and he’d always ask so many questions about me. We hung out a handful of times and had a great time together (no sex -although we did get somewhat “intimate” during our last date). After I got home that day I sent him a message along the lines of “I’m not a F**k buddy” because it seemed to me in that moment that all he wanted was to get physical. I immediately regretted the message because I realized how mean and out of the blue it’d seem to him (plus, he hadn’t really treated me like someone just you want to sleep with). However, he read the message before I could delete it from the WhatsApp conversation and everything changed at that point. He got upset and shot down, I panicked and sent him more messages and called him about 6-7 times during the 24 hours that followed. I wanted to verbally apologize so badly. When he finally answered after two days he told me that he “wasn’t as interested as he was before” and that he had ended longer relationships because of the way someone spoke to him. He also said he missed his friends (he works a lot and only has free time on the weekends) so he’d prefer to hang out with them. He said we could still hang out because he finds me a very “unique girl” but essentially made it sound like it’d no longer be a priority of his. Hearing all of this broke me in pieces because I really like him and any form of rejection is always hard. I didn’t yell or call him names or anything, I just apologized and told him I understood what he was saying. After that conversation I did no contact for 10 days (fearing that doing it longer would not be a good thing since our relationship had only been going on for a month) and then reached out to him via Instagram message. The message was short and relevant (about some interest of his) and he replied immediately, we engaged in some conversation via message about some things I’m doing at the moment .. and then that was it. I reached out again after two days with another “non threatening” text about some specific thing I’m doing now during my vacation.. but this time he didn’t reply, it’s been a whole day and he hasn’t even seen the message (Instagram shows that the message has not been seen). So now I don’t know if I did too much by initiating that second attempt to reach him. I’m really lost because most of the advice I’ve seen out there focuses mostly on couples who’ve been going out for longer than just a month.
Ok sorry about how long this is going to be. So my ex and I were together for about 3 months and while that may be short it was great and we were both very happy. Unfortunately she started stressing because she was afraid of committing to a relationship. I also started stressing because she has lots of guy friends and she was hanging out with one a lot but now i know theres nothing between them. So after I started noticing that she was distancing herself so after a month of her distancing herself I asked what was going on and I asked for better communication. Then she said that we should just be friends and I was upset by this. A lot lol. So first week or 2 I was really upset and she could tell. After that I did NC for 2 weeks. After that I texted her a bit and got a very positive response, but after I realized I really wasn't ready to talk to her again so I did NC a week later for a month. During that NC she tried to talk 3 times and at the end of the month her best friend texted me and told me that she was really upset that I wasn't talking to her. So later that day my ex contacted me and said she was really upset and she missed me. So after that we started talking again and it was great for the next 2 months but eventually I started stressing because I over think all the time. She asked what was wrong and I broke and told her I really missed us being together and I understood that she probably didn't feel the same. After that I realized I hadn't really changed in the past few months so I did NC again this time for 2 months and I read your articles. She only contacted me once to say happy birthday but that's not important. After NC i did the elephant in the room and we are now talking again every day for hours. She regularly makes physical contact (playfully) and she really likes talking and hanging out with me. I'm just confused and I need help. I don't know what to do. I know she still really cares about me but she probably doesn't feel ready for a relationship still. What do I do now? Thanks and sorry for making this so long

I met this guy just 2 weeks ago and he was my dream come through….He is everything I needed In a man,he calls 5:30am everyday for the first week,and changed after we both had sex after our second date,now I will call him to tell him he has changed he keeps on saying he is busy…..Although he is the busy type ,but am just a little bit confused,was it the sex we had that got him pulled away, or his he really busy?each time I call him he will tell me he is going through some hard times now that we will talk wen things gets settled?should I stop calling him or still continue to call him?

Hi Ray! Thank you very much for the male perspective. I am dating a man who is 11 years older, I’m 26 and he is 37. He works out in the ocean and a lot of times we have minimal conversation via text/call. But when we are together everything is great and we get along very well. When he doesn’t have to wake in the wee ours or work out of town, he is with me every single weekend. We have been together six months and I have met all his close friends and friends kids. I have done well so far in respecting his space. When he’s a weekend with his guy friends, I am understanding and just ask him to contact me once when he is back in town so he feels he is not missing out on what he loves. However, this past weekend he had a sailboat race on the weekend which he let me know in advance and we had plans for friday night. He reached out friday night saying that turns out he had to be at the venue in the wee hours so he would not be able to make our plans. I was emotionally unstable that weekend due to some work stress and family leaving so I needed him the most that friday. I did not think of my actions and instead of politely rescheduling for Monday, I blew him up – sent him various texts showing how I did not appreciate he canceled although it wasn’t his fault. I called numerous times in the weekend and texted many times while he was supposed to have time with his friends in the tournament. On Sunday I was so desperate that I passed by his house. His roomate was there and told me he hand’t come home yet. Since I blew him up friday, I have had no response to any of my texts nor has he answered any of my calls. I am very afraid that I scared him away and threatened his freedom. I also came out as desperate for going to his place. Today is Wednesday and I hadn’t reached out till Sunday. I sent him a very short/casual text apologizing for taking out my stress on him and for not letting him have his space, to which I got no response. I am going to wait a few days and hopefully he will come around, as our relationship has matured and he’s told me how much he cares for me. Did I blow this up completely since it has been 4 days with no response?
Definitely focus on improving yourself first before trying to win her back again. However, since you've been together only for a month there may be a possibility that she would move on so you'll have to prepare for that. Use this as a learning curve on where you're lacking and work on improving yourself, and if you want to win her back after, you should treat it as if you were chasing her for the first time.
Only he knows how he is feeling and it is impossible to second guess the reasons. The advise here that I would give (and this is my own personal opinion, everyone should do what feels right for them) is to ease the focus away from him and put it back onto yourself. Appreciate your own worth, keep yourself busy doing things that you enjoy, try to refrain from thinking about it all too much and remember that if he is the right guy for you, he will be in touch. No amount of texting or calling will change anything. If he does pull back too much, then do the same.
Answer: Remind him what he was chasing you for. Show him that just because he’s won over you doesn’t mean he gets to keep you. Instead of groveling and chasing him, turn the tables and make him work to get you back. If you remind him that you can be just fine without him, he’s likely to begin the hunt and chase all over again. [Read: How to keep a guy interested in 30 super sexy ways]
Once you’ve sent your insecurities packing, you’ll see that manipulation and passive-aggressive behaviour is so much harder than simply being the fabulous woman you are. You’re the girlfriend who supports her man, is fun to be with and always great in bed. Most importantly, you have your own life which you prioritise, giving him healthy space to appreciate just how high value you are.
You’ve gone to all the right places. You’ve said all the right things. And now you got the girl! Before you know it, you’re a proud owner of a cute Pomeranian named ‘Fluffy’ and there are more women’s toiletries in your bathroom than at the Macy’s counter. Congratulations. You’re in a relationship with a woman with whom you want to spend every waking moment for the rest of your life. So how do you sustain it? Just follow these three DON’Ts:
Sometimes you can use social media to your advantage. One of the best ways to make a man miss you is by being independent. Let Mr. Right see this new, independent you via social media. Are you taking a cooking class or finally checking skydiving off your bucket list? Make sure you share it with your friends and that special someone. Do not fabricate elaborate, fake posts. Be you, be fun, and be authentic. He will want to be by your side for every new adventure. Guys want to make sure you have a life outside of him and what better way to show him this than by sharing your adventures with him, indirectly. If you’re on your phone constantly sending him images of all the fun you’re having it’s not going to be at all effective. Usually, when you’re having fun with your friends sending the guy in your life images isn’t something that should interest you because you’re busy doing you. So use your social media to update everyone of the fun you’re having and this will drive him crazy.
my bf left me for another girl.he keeps telling me that i am nothing to him.he wants to b with the other girl.he has no feeling for me anymore.this has started more than one year ago.by this time he also speak to me but not on his own mood or to rebuild our relationship.he does so becz i request him to be with me at least for some hours or some minute… we talk only 2 or 3 days per a week…but I can’t stay without him I want him back.plzz help me…if this is possible for me to get him back as my bf again??
If you really want your guy to finally commit to being in a relationship, you have to make commitment look like something that will be fun, light and carefree. No guy will agree to being in a relationship with a woman who is always sad, depressed and starting petty arguments with him. So every time the two of you hang out, make sure you’re doing something fun! A friendly bowling match, a round of miniature golf or checking out the latest movie are all fun date ideas that will keep your guy happy and with a smile on his face. Once he associates you with all things fun and easygoing, committing will no longer be something he dreads.
Why is it that when a girl and a guy break up, the girl spends weeks missing him, but he seems to move on within a millisecond? It isn’t fair. It isn’t right. Why should he get to walk away and instantly start to rebuild his life, when you’re stuck at home wishing that he’d call? He shouldn’t. You need to do something about it. You need to make him miss you, just as much as you’re missing him, but how can you do that? How can you make a guy miss you, when it was him who broke up with you in the first place?

#2 He lacks the skills to effectively communicate. If there is something on his mind or something that is bothering him and he doesn’t know how to express it to you, then he might start to push you away. The biggest problem in this situation is that he’s often unaware himself of what is going on, how to explain it, or how to fix it. Lacking in the capacity to express his feelings or needs, a man often decides that the whole thing is too much trouble and will retreat instead of dealing with it.
Talk to his friends. If you have mutual friends or if his friends would be willing to talk to you without telling your ex about it, consider asking them what they think the chances are that your ex would want to get back together with you. They are more likely than you to know if he has a new girlfriend or if he's dying to get back together with you.[5]
Maybe he texts you a generic, “Hey, how are you?” If he really misses you, he might even call. Or, maybe you text or call (but remember, this is after a period of no contact that lasts at least four weeks). At this point, there are no hard and fast rules to follow. In fact, there are no rules when it comes to dating in general. Remember before when we talked about people putting on deodorant and perfume on to disguise body odor instead of taking a bath first… well, that’s the same as employing rules that don’t align with where you truly are mentally.
i don’t really agree that a woman’s gotta give a guy space under every circumstance because sometimes when people are in steady relationships there might be scenarios where real problems arise which might require a ‘down-time’ but either way the only solution is to talk about it, if a guy doesn’t wanna talk and he just dissapears he doesn’t have respect for the woman and is not interested at all,so for him it’s just a game and for the ladies it’s really painful.so keep away from these type of men,especially if they start to act like this in the early phases of dating and peculiarly if you met them online.these online dating guys are not trustworthy and have parallel contacts
He opened an instagram account, which he never did before and it really feels like I lost all chances Ive ever had. His life is going great. He's rebuilding himself and really succeeds at everything. He has so much girls around him now and I am the last thing he could ever think about. I tried to text him since, tried to send some "positive texts" to remind him of how great it was, but he went really cold and distant. I am really despaired. It has been already 3 months. Our birthdays are coming. Mine is on the 31st August and his on september 1st. And I just feel so crushed. I have no idea how am i going to spend it... While hes gonna go with all his friends which hate me and are so happy we broke up!
So you’ve mastered the ways to stop a man from withdrawing, and everything seemed to be headed in a rosier direction, it’s time to implement some positive communication skills. Once you’ve calmed down from analyzing and you’ve created some much-needed space, it’s time to figure out how to express how you’re feeling without causing more ripples in your relationship.

When a girl feels disconnected from her boyfriend due to his lack of emotional availability/overdone ‘badboyness’, she’ll think he isn’t interested in her enough for him to be a reliable partner. She’ll feel like she can’t really ‘get close’ to him, which is something she needs in a relationship because closeness shows her that he won’t just up and leave at some point. Girls do dump guys for this.
And lastly, many men are from poorer school districts which graduate young men from high school unable to even read at a fourth-grade level. If you’re from a poor neighborhood, your school doesn’t have nearly as much money to hire good teachers as do schools in wealthy neighborhoods; nor will your parents likely read to you. All this leaves semi- or illiterate men feeling chronically inferior to other men, and undeserving of the blessing of raising children and being in a good marriage. As one man told my mother, being illiterate means that anybody else has a knife that they can stab you in the back with any time they want.
You begin interacting with the thoughts in your head rather than with the person in front of you. Rather than trying to learn who he is and what he’s about, you look at his behavior and the things he says as a means to measure how he feels about you… and whether you’re getting closer or further away from your goal of having a relationship with him.
The barriers facing women in the workforce continue to diminish, yet there are still double standards in many work settings. If you’re both a working professional and a mother, fulfilling your parenting duties and expectations can be a difficult balancing act to achieve. Ideally, the glass ceiling will fully shatter in our near future; but, until then, you need to protect yourself, your family, and your livelihood. This includes limiting how much your personal or family life intrudes upon your work (e.g., the amount of time you take off, or your communications with co-workers), and taking care of yourself to avoid burnout.
Keeping things fresh in the bedroom can be difficult; again, talking to one another is crucial when it comes to sex. This can be the most painful part of any reconciliation as no one wants to hear (or tell) home truths when it comes to sex. Sadly, the only way you can have better sex is to be honest. Be more adventurous as a couple, even if for you that means something such as a new position or change of scenery or experimenting with sex toys for couples.

My 3.5 year relationship with my girlfriend ended a week ago when she suddenly broke up with me. We are both divorced with kids and live in the same neighborhood. I have accepted much of what she said as my fault and am going to therapy and have joined a gym to get myself in a good place. I was emotionally withdrawn and ‘cold’ without realizing it and want to improve that for future relationships (with her or anyone). The major complication I think is with her 16 ½ year old daughter, who I sense was on the receiving end of when she was upset. I believe now this greatly contributed to the issue and without my being made aware, I didn’t have an opportunity to improve so it continued and the daughter is not seeing me as a positive future presence in their future.
Ok so I met this guy on tinder (yeah I know) so anyways we talk for like a week and a half we meet we both become infatuated, he pops the I love you (first) and I go along with it even though I feel it’s early. So we were “talking” for a month became fb official and a month after that I met his parents briefly, everything is hot for about a month then it slowly starts to die off. Ok well during this whole time of talking and being bf gf we only talked on the phone say 4 maybe 5 times (not including if we had plans and called each other for quick info or what not) all of our conversations were through snapchat and text…. So slowly the text and snapchat is dying off and I’m like and he not making plans as much and he’s flaking out on me… So I told him I felt him pulling away and he sends me very short replies to my messages and now he won’t talk to me at all. I’m thinking now that I’ve typed this all out. Leaving him alone would be my best bet… Huh?
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 11 years and we’ve been engaged but nothing happened. We have a daughter and I feel he does not feel the same about me. We’ve had major issues but always end back together. We having problems now and I said I want a open honest loyal relationship but ye says I’m mad and I spy on him because I want him to invite me on his face book which I haven’t been on ever. I feel if he can’t allow hes full commitment it will never work. He’s friends with everyone we know on fb but me. It hurts and I’m really sad about this because he does not want to be open with me. He the LD me today he won’t give my way until I prove myself. I’m confused and don’t know what to do we live together with our daughter but feels like a nothing and I mean nothing to him…. Cf

1. Give yourself some time to grieve. I know how hard it is to be happy after a breakup. I remember I was a complete mess for at least two weeks. I didn’t sleep properly, didn’t eat properly, and I was just thinking about my ex all day. In a way, this period is necessary for you. You give yourself some time to grieve every day. If you want to feel sad and sorry for yourself, go ahead and do it. But make sure you also do something to make yourself feel good about yourself.

Let him make the plans. If he wants you, he’s going to have to come and get you, damn it! Don’t put yourself on a plate for him—make him work hard for it before you agree to meet up or speak to him. In the past, I’ve said that I’m busy even though I’m not just to get a reaction that’s usually on the lines of, “Oh no, that’s a shame! I really wanted to see you! How about tomorrow or the day after?” If you turn him down regularly, he’ll fight even harder for you. True story.


Italiano: Riconquistare la Tua Ex, Português: Conseguir Seu ou Sua Ex de Volta, Deutsch: Deine Ex zurück gewinnen, Français: reconquérir son ex, Русский: вернуть своего бывшего, 中文: 与你的前男友或前女友重新开始, Nederlands: Je ex terugwinnen, Čeština: Jak získat svoji bývalou dívku zpět, Español: recuperar a tu ex, 日本語: 別れた恋人とよりを戻す, Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Mantan Pacar Anda Kembali, العربية: استعادة شريكك السابق, ไทย: ได้แฟนเก่ากลับมา, Tiếng Việt: Giành lại người yêu cũ, 한국어: 전 애인과 다시 결합하는 방법, हिन्दी: अपने एक्स को वापस पायें
Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW is a multilingual individual and couples psychotherapist who has had a private practice in New York City for nearly two decades. She specializes in relationship issues and provides in-person and virtual counseling. Please see Rachel’s website at relationshipsuite.com for more information. Get her FREE audios and lessons to help tame your anger, communicate more effectively and create more intimacy in your relationship.
So when your lady is stressed, just let her vent.  When she starts into it, give her good eye contact, show concern, support and ask her…”Do you want me to listen right now or do you want me to help you solve this?”  She will tell you what she wants and you need to stay true to her request.  Make sure she has said everything she wants to by asking, “Is there anything else you need to tell me? Do this and you’ll create amazing connections with the women in your life.
I never dated this guy but we had a fling for over a year now and we both established that we liked each other but agreed that we shouldn't date just yet. one day out of the blue, he starts ignoring me and completely cuts off contact. he seemed annoyed by me so i stopped contacting him too. it's been 5 months now but i still want him to talk to me like he used to and keep this fling going that could eventually end in us dating. should i just let it go or should i reach out to him? and how could i reach out to him without making it seem awkward or desperate?
If your man is the one for you then you need to learn to understand him. You need to learn what motivates him and what scares him. Once you understand him you should be able to create a relationship where he doesn’t feel threatened. If he doesn’t feel threatened then he will be less likely to pull away which should result in the two of you having more time to develop your relationship.
my relationship was of 2.5 years.its been two months(breakup).reason was that i was saying him to take breakup because he was busy two three days.it was like three breakups in a week and then patchups becuz of me.i was always do this brkup dialouge when i was quarrelling with him.this time it gets serious.he is saying that there are 6-7 years to our marriage.it cannot get to the marriage like this.i am also an introvert type.this is also a little problem.my relation is long distant.we didnt meet.means breakup was on watsapp.
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