In helping men and women through issues in their relationships for nearly two decades, I have learned to appreciate that there are significant differences between the sexes. Men tend to get frustrated and dismissive toward women if they cannot quickly resolve their issues. A woman needs to connect and share what’s on her mind as part of letting go of things that are affecting her emotionally. A woman wants to vent and process her feelings. This is part of her makeup and fulfills her emotional needs. Men need to recognize this and be patient.
Hello. Things moved very fast for my ex and I. We moved in together after only a couple months and a couple months after that we found out I am pregnant. I am almost five months pregnant and he broke up with me two weeks ago. I moved out and am living with my mom until I can find a place of my own. Initially I begged him to give us another chance and said we could work it out and he said he has enough and that he quit caring. 90% of it was my fault. I was so stressed out and nervous that I was taking it out on him. He started getting more distant and drinking a lot more. How long should I wait to tell him I now realize that most of this was because of me and I’m sorry. I honestly see what I was doing wrong and would like him to know I realize that and want to fix it. Being pregnant just adds even more stress to the situation. I truly do think we could get passed this but he doesn’t want anything to do with me right now..
Kevin Alexander helps shy, introverted nice guys finish first with women via the Nice Guy Dating Daily Podcast and blog at niceguydating.ca. His brash, brutally honest yet approachable and comedic style keeps you entertained and informed about how to handle everything from dating to charm to fashion to exercise, making sure you finish first with women. When not on his podcast, you can find him guest blogging on sites such as Digital Romance Inc, SWExperts, and TSB Magazine.
#9 Give them plenty of space and freedom. One reason guys don’t want to commit is because they often feel like it’ll trap them. They want their freedom and space so if they don’t even become official with someone, they’ll keep it. That’s how they think, anyways. Show him that you’re more than happy to give him that space and he’ll be more willing to commit. [Read: 10 obvious hints guys give when they need more space]
It is recommended that you stop contact for at least one month. If you think you need more time, you can extend it. It should be at least a few weeks. If you and your ex have to see each other (due to work or kids) then make sure you keep the conversation professional or just related to the kids. Do not talk about your feelings or your relationship with them.
I don't know what I want. My ex broke my heart 8 months ago after a relationship of 2 years. We were the best friends. After the breakup he had a new girlfriend after 1 month. They broke up 3 months ago because she cheated. He came back to me, wanted all my attention, but I told him I still have feelings for him but I don't want him back. He accepted it but was mad because he thought I had someone new. He went back with the girl who cheated. Then I decided I didn't want him in my life anymore. I blocked him and deleted him on social media. The problem is that we have a common group of friends. Last week he was posting every day a snapchat in the group. Yesterday he send me a message with an artist in and the sentence 'I think you would like this artist.' Today I saw I had a missed facetime-call from him. To his bestfriend he said he regretted the way we broke up and the way we treat eachother the last months.. He is still together with this girl.
So since the last meet up at his apartment. I left him alone. 6 days after not reaching out to him and trying to do the NC. He texts me late at night while I’m out with friends saying he misses me and if I could come over. I was dumb and called him an hour after I received the text and ask him why he wanted me over and if he was drunk. He said no that he had honestly just woken up and that he didn’t realize how late it was that he missed me and if I could come. I asked for what and he said to talk. I got my hopes up thinking he was gonna give me answer to thinking about us and giving us a chance. I further asked him what he wanted to talk about and then he became vague. Then I felt like it was just a late night booty call and told him that I wasn’t that type of girl and to not treat me as one. He then continued to ask if I would come over that we could talk but never said what about. He then was like forget it’s a bad idea and maybe we could tomorrow instead. I told him I was busy tomorrow but I’ll see. Tomorrow came and by the evening I texted him like an idiot I feel if he still wanted to talk and he was like it’s not a good idea, I’m sorry. I replied with I guess we know why you really texted last night and he stop replying after that. What do I do now? I want him but then again now I feel like I shouldn’t
Followed all the no contact advice and the texting advice. With the help of some friends things have been going extremely well over the past week, lots of heart to heart conversations about what went wrong and how we could've done it better/differently. Things were also moving very quickly. Too quickly. We hung out every day this past week, had friends meeting eachother, and were kissing at the end of our talks.
Allow me to jump in because I have had a great deal of experience with this scenario. I’m a grandmother, a beautiful grandmother and I’m totally head over hills for the man I’m dating. We live in separate states which at first caused great concern. I even broke it off completely. I sensed that the issue was mine – not his – so I jumped right in with both feet to find out what was the “deeper” issue. Come to find out, I had an issue from childhood – anxious attachment – which stems from my mother (I won’t go into all the details here). Needless to say, I had never dealt with this anxious attachment (Google it), and it was surfacing from his pulling away. Once God healed me of this syndrome, I have never had any problem with his, what we call, pulling away. I need my space – he needs his space. I’m so glad this was resolved. Six months later, he sent me a text and we are back together again – probably forever! But, if not, I can move on and wish him the best!
I have been seeing my boyfriend for about 8 months now. He completely swept me off my feet in the beginning (it was like a love bomb). He started changing a couple months after that — we never really “dated” — it just went from a couple dates where he would take me out and drop me off at my apartment and go back to his. Then, a few weeks later he was practically living in my apartment full time. He blames me for everything wrong in the relationship — shuts down emotionally now and we just had another blowout and he says to me he needs a week of space. I think he was just using me for convenience because my apartment was closer to his for work. I am so confused. He is not texting much anymore, not interested in my goals and things we used to share and that bonded us in the beginning. It just feels so empty and I can’t talk to him because he automatically says that I focus on him too much and I analyze the relationship too much. He calls me crazy and negative, among other things. He basically just comes over and sleeps. No connection, no emotion. I don’t know what to do anymore. I think it’s time to let him go — I also think he has narcissistic traits as i’ve been trying to read and educate myself. Could you offer any advice? Thank you.
I believe very strongly that outside influences have some bearing on the breakups. For example money problems, problems at work , health problems, etc. I believe these contribute to the breakdown of the relationship. If we don't deliberately pay attention and put your loved one first. Then your are heading down a real steep hill and soon you will fall off the cliff.
Lauren, I believe your advice about giving the ex space is on point and I wish I had given mine a lot of space. I broke up with a man who suddenly dumped me with a phone message when he knew I was not home. Friends of ours told me to give him space, and I did not; big mistake on my part. He is with a woman he and his parents know, she is old enough to be his mother. He sometimes chats when he sees me in the area. I began to feel like I'm sitting on the back burner and decided to just greet him and not chat unless he wants to chat. A good male friend told me to give him six months, it has been three months, so I'll see what develops....

Then, switch things up by missing a phone call or two back-to-back. Your guy will be wondering where you are and what happened to your daily contact. He will start to realize that getting those daily text messages and phone calls are a part of his day that he doesn’t want to live without, and he’ll be dying to be in a committed relationship with you!
Personally, I wouldn’t consider it an emergency if he’s without some of his stuff. However, if for whatever the reason he was so worried something happened to you, at some point he would ACTUALLY start looking for you, whether it’s at work or at home, in which you would find it sweet of course, but at the same time you can tell him you’re fine and just need some space.
Thank you, Ray. I needed a male’s perspective, I’m hurt & all my girl friends are angry, so I can relate to almost all of these posts. I have been with a man that “needs his space” & needs a woman to be understanding about it. It’s hard for me because although we have been in a relationship for just a week over a year, I’ve been in love with him for 20. We had a 2 year off & on thing back then & I was very young & I did not understand him back then. Although I understand him now, it still hurts, & the fear is always there, nagging at me, bringing up thoughts like, is he wanting to see someone else? Am I the one pushing him away with my feelings? Why does he not love me the way I love him? Always wondering if there is someone else, but never really believing it. He told me from day one (a year ago) how he was, & I guess I decided back then I loved him enough I could handle his occasional distance & that I had enough love to push through it.

It’s finally happening: you met a man you’re compatible with, you really like him, and the feeling is mutual. He’s showering you with attention, making plans to see you, making time to call you, and generally letting you know that he’s so happy to have found you. How does a man act when he’s falling in love? Just like this—and you’ve never been happier, or more thankful, to have him by your side.
Outsourcing can offer a host of benefits e.g., it might improve your relationship with your partner, provide more time with your kids, and most importantly, reduce your stress.  If you don’t have the financial resources available, try open communication to come up with a plan of action that acknowledges and accommodates each other’s viewpoints, strengths, and active schedules.
But no matter what you’ll have to seduce your ex and inspire them to get back together. Getting an ex back is often linked to your ability to be yourself and to not let your emotions or feelings change who you are at your core. So don’t try to seduce your ex by being someone you’re not; it won’t be sustainable anyways and your ex will probably see right through you!
It may sound like common sense but you’d be surprised to know that many people hope to get back with someone they deeply care for, but do nothing to change some of their negative habits or behaviors. Most of the time there are no magic tricks or quick fixes that can bring back the one you love into your life if you haven’t sorted out some of the negative behaviors from your previous relationship.
Pues mi historia es un poco larga, no pretendo q nadie la lea, pero resulta que desde que inicié una relación sigo buscando a mi ex y ocasionalmente lo veo; todo ese tiempo sentía feo por hacerle algo así a mi pareja, pero las cosas con mi ex no se terminaban de cerrar y siempre pensaba que estaría mejor si regresara con el. Así q hoy, buscando algún pretexto para que fundamentará el cortar la relación, que por cierto duro 1 año, descubro que no soy la única que ha estado mintiéndole al otro, y el salía con otra chava!!!!! Jajajajajaja era justo lo que quería y aún así siento feo xq pensé que si le gustaba, aunq imagino que yo solita lo aleje? O solo el es un pendejo? Es q estoy intentando justificar que me pusiera los cuernos cuando yo tambn se los ponía?? Jajajaja q irónico !!!! De vdd!!
If you want him to miss you, if you want him to realize what he’s walked away from, then you need to make him realize what he’s given up and you’re not doing that, if you’re still giving him the goods after he’s ended the relationship. No, you need to think of it like this, if he broke up with you, then he broke up with all of the great benefits that being with you came with. If you think that letting him into your bed will help to make him miss you, then you’re wrong. The only thing happening after that is his respect for you depleting.
I was in 2 years long relationship with my ex, including one year of long distance. He broke up with me 3 months ago saying he is not ready for commitment and settle in one year because it was supposed to be one year longer the long distance relationship. We had some fights lately, due to lack of contact it was hard to catch him, I wasnt my best too I was picking on him sometimes when it was no needed. I tried to win him back but he didnt want to. We dont speak for over a month now and soon will be my birthday. I find out on social media that he is licking some girls face and that they are cooking together. What should I do? Can I still win him back? I know what mistakes I made and I was in process of chagning myself but I dont know if should I reach to him? What was the actual reason, he said he is not ready but he is clearly making connection with this girl.
It could simply be an ongoing dilemma or conflict she's facing between thinking of you and wanting to move on, resulting in her sudden actions of deleting you off social media so as to not be reminded. If you've reached out since no contact and this is her given response, it might be a good idea to actually give her a little more space before trying to reach out again.
Right now, he probably feels overwhelmed by your actions which resulted in him feeling that you were pushy. I suggest taking a step back for now and go into no contact. Spend this time picking yourself up emotionally and mentally, and focus on doing things to keep yourself happy in the meantime. You could reach out again sometime down the road in a more casual manner if you feel ready, and this means to avoid having expectations and being okay with whatever happens.

Unfortunately, most women don’t process problems by others giving them a strategy. Many men tend to solve problems by finding and offering solutions. And although the solutions may be sound, women often just want to be heard. So the next time your woman is blurting out her stresses of the day look at her, listen and say, “It sounds like you had a tough day” and follow up with a hug.
Trust me, your friends, your co-workers, your lab partner, your neighbor, and your barista at Starbucks are all sick and tired of hearing about this guy. And deep down inside, you’re probably a little bit tired of talking about him, too. When you focus so much of your attention on one person, you can slowly drive yourself insane. You’ll be constantly thinking about him, replaying your last conversation over and over again in your mind, wondering what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with, and wondering if he’s thinking about you at that exact moment. It’s not healthy, and it definitely won’t get you any closer to being in a relationship.

There is usually an underlying reason for his sudden change in his behavior. It's something you may have to figure out if you want to win him back, and if it's something that can be resolved or not. Often, it may be a sudden incident or stress in a person's life that causes them to act this way. There's also a chance that a third party may have been involved, as these are among the common reasons for someone to break up with their partners.
6 months on, he started cheating on me and i found out. he decided to dump me for the new guy. this guy also lived in a different city about 2 hours away, he seems to like to get attached to guys from outside of his city. initially i tried to salvage the relationship but i later decided to move on and we had no contact for about 4-5 months until it was his birthday and i wished him happy bday. 2-3 months after his birthday he broke up with that guy. through a mutual friend, he contacted me and we started contacting each other again.

It is possible to work to reprogram your brain or change certain beliefs. If you are severely lacking confidence in yourself and your ability to prove to your ex and that you can make them happy; try doing one of my favorite self-help exercise; write down in the present tense something on a yellow sticky that you are hoping to accomplish as if you had already achieved your goal.
My relationship was going very fine. It’s been 3 years now and everything was smooth. Ours is a long distance relationship but the trust issues and other such issues which a long distance relationship generally faces, never came up. Three days back, out of the blue, he said he wants to be single for a few months, no relationship and all, he wants to concentrate on his career and get some stability in his life. Till then I am his good friend and back support and it’s just a matter of few months. He won’t be able to talk to me because he said he wants to punish himself for being so rude. After this message he is not even replying to my message till now. I am worried what is going on and why is he doing this. As everything was perfectly well two days back then why all these decisions. I am scared and I don’t want to let him go anywhere.
First off, before I tell you what happened, I would like to point out that my recent ex-girlfriend and I are both college students. She is a freshman, and I am a junior, with a two-year age gap as well. I reside on-campus, and when she broke up with me, she did it in my dorm after cuddling me. When she broke up with me, she cried, and I knew that she was struggling to really go through with the decision. However, she still broke up with me in the end. I know why it happened and that it does have to do with the fact that we need to work on ourselves and we are both a bit insecure. I know that I was clingy and pushed her away due to my insecurities. I also know that I have said that I will keep positive and try to work on myself, and I am still going to do that. However, I just want to be really honest with what exactly went down immediately following the breakup.
Hi Chris – My boyfriend (well now ex boyfriend) of 2 years just broke up with me a week ago. He is 33, I am 25. We met on the mountain, ski coaching to be exact. He does it full time (Tuesdays – Sundays) while I only do it part time along with my full time job (November – April, 7 days a week). A co-worker of ours set us up. We had been coaching with each other for a couple of years by that point and she could just see that we were perfect for each other. I was a little hesitant at first, I had never dated someone who what that much older than me. But when I was with him, it never seemed weird or like we were at a different point in our lives. The first year was bliss, we were not living with each other at that point so we were constantly looking forward to seeing each other. There was excitement.

Once you're in the bedroom (and aware of his insecurities), remind him of how much you enjoy being intimate. For example, if he's worried about his weight, maybe give him a sexy once-over and tell him how how buff he looks naked. Other key areas to compliment: His gut, as men often worry about the size of it (and other measurable parts), and their hair, as guys tend to feel self-conscious once they start losing it.

And you always want what you think is good for you. So how can you make yourself better? You can start from appearance (new haircut, new clothes, get some muscles, eat healthier, etc) and a good attitude/be open-minded. Join meditation/yoga/learn new things. Upgrade yourself with your outer appearance and inner attitude. Be the best version of yourself.


Create space between you and him. A guy can’t miss you if you’re always right there for him. A great way to get him to miss you is to create space between the two of you. If you spend every minute of the weekend with him, start carving out time to spend away from him. Spend a Friday night at home alone or with friends instead of hanging out with your man. At first he will probably like the time alone, but if you begin to do this regularly, he’ll start missing you in his arms.

Have you ever found yourself dating a guy who seems perfect in the beginning, only to find out later that he was a bad choice? Are you having a difficult time finding love? The possibilities are you are taking the wrong steps and are in need of relationship advice for women. You might want to have a romantic relationship with the most perfect person. It is never too late to change the romance stars and bring back love and happiness into your life.
Fake it til you make it should never apply to a relaitonship. Building a relationship especially a commited relationship on a lie is never a good start. If the foundation is shaky, so will the entire relationshiop be. Do not try to use crafty tricks that will make him think twice and stay with you. This means using the age old pregnancy trick wont do. Just be yoursekf and see where that takes you. Maybe you might even be surprised by the outcome more than you had imagined.
Hi, I’m currently going through the painful process of a messy breakup. I actually did a few of not all the mistakes from step number one(mostly because he didn’t even wait 24hrs after our breakup to start talking to other girls..) Eventually, he texted today that he was sorry from the bottom of his heart and if he had it his way he would still date me but he also said that we just need to stop talking completely for “both of a sakes” because I was “too invested in him” . He said that he was a burden and I although I do love him, and I would only like to be with him later on. I want to do this. I just don’t know if I’d be blocked by the time I do end up contacnting (maybe a couple months from now). I read this article, and it honestly helped me a lot. A lot of these, I had already thought about but this just reinforces that this is what I should do to heal myself. Thank you for it!
It could be a rebound relationship he's going through right now, which is also the reason he might have felt it was 'love at first sight'. In the case for marriages, especially long term relationships, NC period might have to be longer because of the time frame of the relationship and the severity of events that probably transpired which led to the breakup/divorce in the first place.

Go easy with the communication. When you start to really like someone, all logic goes out of the window. Instead of casually checking in with him once every couple of days, it can be hard to resist texting him on the hour every hour, even if he’s not your boyfriend yet! My suggestion is to refrain from messaging him unless he messages you. And, when he does message you, give it at least a few hours before you respond. During this time period, I guarantee he’ll be wondering where you are, what you’re doing and missing you.


It's common that someone continues to love a person even though they're no longer in love. It simply means that the passionate feelings she might have once had for you has started to fade, but it doesn't mean that she's stopped caring about you altogether (which is why she still shows care and concern). I suggest figuring out what went wrong and where she started to lose her spark for you and see if you are able to re-ignite that spark again.
I'm a bit nervous about how to approach this, I know I have to be light, to look like I'm making changes (which I am), to look positive and happy even though I'm not always like that. But there is a part of me that really wants to be serious and tell her to bet for me, not to take me back (I know I don't have to be pushy at all) but to allow me to show her how I'm overcoming things? Is it a bad idea to be a bit intense with a person which I had a lot of intense talks? I want to tell her my true intentions, that I do want her back, but that I'm willing to wait and for her to see that I have changed...I guess my question is, it is ok to voice the real itnentions in this manner? To even say, look in this time alone I did realize I do trully love you, and that it is not coming from a place of fear?
I just had a break up a week ago with my girlfriend.I broke up with her on her birthday thats the saddest part but2days later i realized how badly i want her in my life but she has become very cold hearted and saying that she wants to stay single and is very happy to be single.She also said that she has moved and asked me to do the same .But i still want her very badly because we were in a relationship for three years just because of my continuos anger ,insecurities and over possesiveness i have hurt her very badly.What should I do to get her back.please guide me and help me.
It could be a rebound relationship he's going through right now, which is also the reason he might have felt it was 'love at first sight'. In the case for marriages, especially long term relationships, NC period might have to be longer because of the time frame of the relationship and the severity of events that probably transpired which led to the breakup/divorce in the first place.
It’s as simple as that. If you feel like something’s not right, in all probability, something is definitely wrong. Communicate and make the effort. At times, the relationship may be a failed cause because your man’s a bad guy. But almost always, the relationship stagnates because you and your lover have started to take the relationship for granted. [Read: 25 relationship rules for a successful long term relationship]

Then, switch things up by missing a phone call or two back-to-back. Your guy will be wondering where you are and what happened to your daily contact. He will start to realize that getting those daily text messages and phone calls are a part of his day that he doesn’t want to live without, and he’ll be dying to be in a committed relationship with you!
It seems counterintuitive, but experts' No. 1 piece of advice is to never to bring up the "What are we?" conversation. "It's like going to a party, turning off the music, turning on the lights, and asking, 'Are we all having a good time here?'" Trespicio says. "A good relationship is built on momentum, and putting a stop to the fun to 'check in' is a surefire way to kill the romance."
#9 Give them plenty of space and freedom. One reason guys don’t want to commit is because they often feel like it’ll trap them. They want their freedom and space so if they don’t even become official with someone, they’ll keep it. That’s how they think, anyways. Show him that you’re more than happy to give him that space and he’ll be more willing to commit. [Read: 10 obvious hints guys give when they need more space]
Of course, it's also possible that there’s anger, resentment, or deeper issues going on. If that's the case, Mintz says you shouldn't be using sex as a weapon — that's only going to cause more harm in the relationship — and should instead be honest about how you're feeling. If you're not comfortable bringing it up on your own (or discussing it when your partner does), she suggests seeing a therapist, who can help the two of you navigate the issue in a healthy way.
In 2012, my little brother Adam died. My life shattered, and I spent the next month drunk in bed. It had been four years since Mary and I had spoken, but it spoke volumes to me that she came out of the woodwork to send me a handwritten note expressing her sorrow for Adam’s death. Through everything—the fights, the skipped plans, the immaturity—she found it in herself to reach out to me. I was blown away, and she was back in my life. We learned that we only lived a few blocks away from each other, and that is how we started dating for the fourth and final time. Once again we started seeing each other as friends. We always met up at this one café in the Lower East Side. I’d get a coffee, and she’d get a bagel.
I broke up with my ex about six months ago after a five month relationship. it was very intense and he was completely in love with me. However i wasn’t ready for such a serious relationship so I broke up with him. i tried to be friends with him but he started acting a little needy so i cut off contact with him. over the past few months i’ve realized that i am ready for a relationship with him because i really did love him and he never did anything to hurt me i just wasn’t ready at the time. I texted him the other day asking to be friends and later that day, my friend told me he was seeing someone. I want to respect the relationship but also want him to know that i am willing to wait for him and in the meantime i’ll do things that make me happy. Is this a good idea? I feel like she is a rebound. he told me i was the love of his life and that he never felt a connection with anyone else like he did with me so i find it hard to believe that he is serious about the girl he started dating shortly after our breakup. Nonetheless if he is i will back off but i also feel like what we had isn’t over yet.

Since the answer to the eternal puzzle of how to make a guy commit has been answered, what are you waiting for? Try our tips out on your date, your boyfriend or the eternal frat boy you just haven’t seemed to be able to convince to commit for a long time. Make sur ethat you are both on the same level and that you have not mistakenly misread any signs along the way. We’re almost sure he won’t resist your charm and he’ll be a changed man in no time. That works for us ladies, doesn’t it?

Ok so I met this guy on tinder (yeah I know) so anyways we talk for like a week and a half we meet we both become infatuated, he pops the I love you (first) and I go along with it even though I feel it’s early. So we were “talking” for a month became fb official and a month after that I met his parents briefly, everything is hot for about a month then it slowly starts to die off. Ok well during this whole time of talking and being bf gf we only talked on the phone say 4 maybe 5 times (not including if we had plans and called each other for quick info or what not) all of our conversations were through snapchat and text…. So slowly the text and snapchat is dying off and I’m like and he not making plans as much and he’s flaking out on me… So I told him I felt him pulling away and he sends me very short replies to my messages and now he won’t talk to me at all. I’m thinking now that I’ve typed this all out. Leaving him alone would be my best bet… Huh?
This article was exactly what I needed to read. It was straight to the point but very in depth with how simple it is to keep your man into you. Right now I could use the help with my current relationship. Eric Charles, if there was any way to get your insight on my current situation I would greatly appreciate that. Thank you for the great insight above.
What I am going to share with you now is the most common reasons being men’s disappearing acts! As you read through this article, it’s essential that you understand that men are natural born hunters who enjoy the chase. If he is interested in having you as his girlfriend, he will show you this with his actions. Be careful to never settle for a man that isn’t giving you 100% with his actions but is saying everything with his words. This is where a lot of women run into trouble in their search for a good man. Pay attention to his actions more than his words.
So, my boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. Everything starts with this fight we have and then he starts to ignoring me. Of course I freak out and I tried to talk to him and bla bla bla but he didn't want to see me. And that's it. He gave me no explanation.. I've been in No Contact Rule since then but I'm really confused and sad about this. We had a great relationship and I really didn't want to give it up. What should I do?
Hi Lauren again... Well, quite some time passed by, we broke up 3 and a half months ago. I did try all this what you recommend here: waited, wrote the apology letter, asked him if we could talk about what could I have done better. This is what happened: we met for a coffee and had a good talk, just general catching up and casual subjects, however he didn't mention anything about our relationship and I didn't want to push him. It was a friendly time, with some sparks still there. Then we continued in email, I asked him again about what has gone wrong between us, to which he responded that it was mainly about HIM: he was too stressed about certain things in his life that had nothing to do with me. And mentioned a couple of concerns about me, but they were not anything serious. Then HE suggested that we should meet and discuss it, he will be happy to see me - but another month passed by and he didn't seem to be able to fit me in his extremely busy work schedule and stress and I indeed knew that they had something going on in the company. I was very understanding and not pushy at all. Maybe I was way too patient and gave him too much time: tonight, I saw him with another woman, walking in town, holding hands... Now, we will still meet once, because I forgot something at his place. I am totally clueless of how to behave toward him. Shall I pretend that I don't know anything and wait till he brings up that he already has somebody else, or shall I confront him? The worst thing is that he is one of the last men on Earth I would expect to be dishonest. What shall I do now? Now I am close to 50 and I have never been so happy with a man than with him, in fact, he was the first one I could have imagined to grow old with, and he used to be also very happy and planning a wonderful life together. And now I am in quite a shock. Thank you in advance! ...
It`s so true like you said in the post “Commitment is scary but it’s the most beautiful, courageous and beneficial thing you can do for yourself. Once you commit, life becomes so.much.simpler. Your emotional constipation ceases to exist as does looking for laxatives in the form of gossip, acting on impulse, engaging in friendsh*ts, relationsh*ts and validation seeking.”
Yes, it seems as though this man has you where he wants you. Even though spending time with him makes you feel better in hopes it will change when you see him it will not. Honestly, I would go ghost for 30 days. Focus on you getting the control of yourself and your emotions because I understand that this can be hard but you deserve better and you have a right to demand better. He will want to know why you aren’t talking to him and after 30 days you deliver that message and once you do you have the control back. I have an amazing coach that works with women so if you need anything in the future we are here for you.

This means be honest with yourself: Is there anything in your life right now that could interfere with the success of a new relationship? A common scenario that I see in my practice is a couple will have a whirlwind romance: feel amazing connection, fall in love…but then the guy starts to pull away or blows hot and cold (he’s interested one week and distant the next). And this might go on for some time before the guy finally admits that he’s not ready for a relationship. This is heartbreaking for both of you because it’s really painful to break up after you’ve become deeply bonded.
When you do talk, Mintz suggests using the sandwich technique: Give him a compliment, tell him your problem, then follow it up with another compliment. Example: "I really love having sex with you, and after we have sex I feel really close and connected. I know you really want to shower, but I really want to cuddle. Is there a compromise that will work for both of us?"
With hindsight, Peter could see that the unpleasant situation he found himself in every day at work had left him depressed in the evenings. His response to depression had been to sink increasingly into "poor me" ruminations. "How can they treat me so unfairly? Why can't my boss appreciate my talents?  I'm stuck in a job that's not my thing. I hate having a job that doesn't fit and a boss who's chronically negative."
However, you can be hurt without acting vindictive—especially if your ex is someone you already think you might want to get back together with. "Put yourself in your ex's shoes," Dr. Bockarova says. "Would you appreciate if someone you cared about spoke badly about you to all of your friends, [sent you] an avalanche of angry messages, or revealed secrets you had told them in a vulnerable state?"
Sometimes in relationships, you can become so close that the spark starts to fade. The best way to rekindle the spark is to make him miss you and remember what it was that made him fall for you. Relationships also mutually end before they need to sometimes. You can make your ex-boyfriend miss you and remember what it was like when the relationship was great. To make him miss you regardless of the specifics, create some space, control the communication, and use subtle hints like scents, spontaneity, and intentionally "forgotten" possessions to make him think of you when you're not around. Soon enough, your guy should be longing for you and craving that passion again.
Finally, both partners and spouses have to ‘know their role.’  Either the man should be the ‘Alpha’ (i.e., the spouse or partner who is dominate and generally leads the relationship), while the woman is the ‘Beta’ (i.e., the more agreeable, deferential, and submissive partner) … or, if both companions feel like the marriage or relationship would work better if the woman was the ‘Alpha’ and the man was the ‘Beta,’ so be it.  Either, or.

Hi Tanisha….it is unclear just how invested he is in the relationship. Perhaps one way to find out is to utilize No Contact. You should take a look at a book I wrote called, Ex Recovery Pro. In it I offer a blueprint on all the things you should consider and do. You can learn more about it in my website’s Menu Section under “Products”. It may help you with the path you should take.
Hi,,, my boyfriend quit relationship with me because i wrote to him too much messages and he was tired , i arguing and blaming him one week and the second week i apologised, i have changable mood,,, at last he told me it was normal relationshi and i woud not change, i told him albad words i wrote thousand messages , so he blocked me, then i begged from others mobiles he blocked me everywhere almost 30 peoples mobile, after one month no contact, i wrote to him, he wrote some short messages , then as i blamed him againhe continued blocking, whuold he come back in my life again?
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