At the end of the day, the only thoughts and behavior you can truly change is your own, and at the very least during this time, that's what you should be focused on. The breakup happened for a reason, and it's usually never just one party's fault. Spend this time thinking about the issues that may have affected the relationship, and if there was anything you may have done specifically or whether it can be worked on or not. Also think about yourself if whether in the past 6 months, there were things that perhaps caused you to feel unhappy or anything less than your usual self, and see if you could do something about it now to turn those feelings around.
Hi. My ex bf broke up with. Me about 6 weeks ago after about 4 yrs. We had a colse emotional and physical connerction, at least i felt so, and our relaionship was gettind great the last 4 month and we had a plan to marry. But suddnly he said that he can't do it anymore, he said he had cheated on me several times with meaningless sex bcz he wasn't satisfied with our sex, he said i could never accept him and kept arguing with him frequently(i agree i was so insecure) and he said he became who i wanted but didn't. Give him what he wanted so he wasn't happy and he was always stressful. Siad his good behavior recently was because he didn't want to upset me and was fake- which i dont believe. He says he loves me but love is not enough and he behaved me really nice when i was acting crazy till now. I do regret my behavior and i want him back. I wish he doesnt give up hope for me.

I have a very good feeling that if we can get to a point where we can talk openly and he isn't feeling pressured to get back together, we will have an excellent chance to make it work. I want to work to make big changes to make our sex life better and I know if I can show this to him, he will definitely want to reconsider. He is also young like me and very impulsive. We had a great relationship other than this issue.
You might be going all in too soon. I would take a couple steps back and figure out what it is that you want from a man and put yourself first. It takes time to build attraction and sometimes people text for attention only. You don’t know there intentions until you continue to date someone and see them face to face. I wouldn’t take this personally and I would suggest mirroring what they are doing to you.
I don't know what to do. I was 2 years together with my boyfriend, he broke up with me 10 months ago already because he was not sure anymore. We were best friends before so after the breakup we tried to be friends again. It didn't work because he had someone new, he had to delete me on instagram for his girlfriend. I decided to give them the chance but his friend and his sister told me she was not good for him. After almost 2 months she cheated on him (with her ex), that's 4 months ago. He texted me and gave me hope to get back together. But he choose to give her another chance instead. He told me she wasn't the girl of his dream and he don't want to marry her in the future. I told him to let me go if he chooses her. So we let each other go. But we have friends in common. On a barbeque he was searching my attention the whole time, during the exams he texted me memories from when we were together. I never responded because I needed space and he was still together with his girlfriend. After he texted me 3 times in a row for the same thing I texted back, asking what he really wanted. He couldn't really answer. I saw him at a event with our friends and then he was normal, not pushy or anything. He left for vacation and I didn't hear anything from him, didn't text him either. Early August we went on a weekend with our common friends. The first night together we were talking about anything and were drinking. After a while we were drunk and I tried to seduce him, he said he was still together with his girlfriend so I wanted to go to sleep. He took me by the hand, pulled me back and kissed me. He told me his girlfriend is not the love of his life, that I will always be the love of his life. We had sex. The day after we talked about it. He told me that it never happened and he will not say it to his girlfriend because they just had a break when he was on vacation. I asked him if she was the love of his life and he told me no, but I'm happy now with her. I don't know what to do now... I didn't contacted him since. After a week he followed me on instagram, liked my last photo and unfollowed me. I didn't hear anything from him after...

If you tell your partner that you once loved another man and left him, this won’t make your partner feel secure… it will do the opposite. He may think that one day you will leave him too which will stop him or massively delay his commitment to you until this thought has been put to rest. Let him know that he is the only man in your life and in your dreams.


Ex got mad during no contact. I'm currently on day 2 of no contact and she just started a fight about why I suddenly wanted to stop talking. I told her I needed space to set my mind straight. Just like I already explained before breaking contact. Still she said that I'm awful for playing her emotions like this. Since I said I wanted to keep post breakup contact and then a day later I found out about no contact 30 days and decided to try it. So I said no more contact after all. She ended up deleting me from social media. What do I do? What if after no contact is done she's still mad? Then I can't initiate the next step of casually contacting her followed by asking her out for coffee.

Forget all those relationship expert columns that tell you it’s most important to your man that he first see what’s in your heart. Bull****. It’s most important to see what’s inside your clothes. Now, before you scream, “Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig!” listen carefully. I’m not saying that we need to get into your pants right away in order to enjoy your company. But I am saying that men definitely need to know that you have the goods and that you take care of yourself. To put it bluntly, a guy’s first interest in a woman has nothing to do with the handbag she’s carrying or that she graduated from an Ivy League school. What your (potential) man wants you to know but won’t tell you is that his initial attraction is all about your appearance and physical being, which sends a flood of highly charged testosterone racing through his veins. Yes, the physical is first, and we’re not saying we won’t eventually fall in love with your intelligence, kindness, and humor. These extremely important attributes are the ones that will ultimately be critical in helping you hook us. But in the beginning the number-one attribute is what you look like and how well you take care of yourself.

I have a question that I'm struggling to find the answer to. About 2 days into no contact my ex asked me to come by and pick up some of my stuff I left behind at her place. Around 5 days in she found someone had searched for porn websites in the browser search history on her PS3. She accused me and wanted an explanation, though I am certain it wasn't me. I don't watch porn, let alone on my gf's playstation. I didn't reply on both occasions, and haven't heard from her since. I'm coming up on 30 days soon, and I've drafted a couple elephant letters. So my question is: Do I address these false allegations in the letter? Or simply ignore them and address them only if they come up again in the future? I feel like both options have potential pros and cons, so I need a deciding factor. Thanks :)

Talk to his friends. If you have mutual friends or if his friends would be willing to talk to you without telling your ex about it, consider asking them what they think the chances are that your ex would want to get back together with you. They are more likely than you to know if he has a new girlfriend or if he's dying to get back together with you.[5]
I was in a long distance relationship and my ex did not feel like I was committed enough to making it work and I slowly began "ghosting" him, but still texted him sporadically over time. As a result he felt manipulated and he now feels as if he cannot trust me. I came to where he lives for an internship and after many conversations he decided that he wanted to see me. I asked him whats new in his life and he told me that he has a girlfriend of nine months, but did not tell me because I thought I would not meet up with him. We continued to text after and ended up seeing each other again and continued to talk after that. We had good conversations about what I did in the past and I allowed him to ask any questions that he needed so he could get closure. After this conversation things fizzled, but he will still text me a few times a day. I want to do no contact, but I am leaving the state and going back home in two weeks and feel that he still does not trust me. Any advice that you could give me?
Have a life outside of him. Don’t put your life on hold on a Saturday night just in case he decides to call and see if you want to hang out. You had a life before him and you still want to have that life if it all goes wrong one day. Being too available for him only comes across as needy and desperate, and it certainly won’t make him miss you if you’re always at the other end of the phone waiting for him.
Answer: Remind him what he was chasing you for. Show him that just because he’s won over you doesn’t mean he gets to keep you. Instead of groveling and chasing him, turn the tables and make him work to get you back. If you remind him that you can be just fine without him, he’s likely to begin the hunt and chase all over again. [Read: How to keep a guy interested in 30 super sexy ways]
Hello! I have the following problem. Me and my wife are together for 7 years. We had a 4 years old girl. We had our ups and downs but we had a very good relationship. Two years ago she met some colleague of her from another city on some business trip. She cheated on me after a while. I found out in her messages that but she lied to me, she accused me of mistrust and other staff like that. I decided to believe her and move on. I even propose to her. Everything was perfect the last year or I though so. The last winter I cough her again and then this summer. They met each other not more than 3 4 times, for that I am sure. He is living in another city, he is a lot older than we are, he has wife and kid too. Most of the time they chat to each other via messenger. In june I left our home for a couple of weeks but she couldn`t take care as I wanted for our kid and our home. So I moved back because I want to look after my kid. We are back together for the last two months more as a parents and roommates than a couple. She is saying she loves me but she is not in love with me and she love the other guy although they cant have anything serious besides seeing 2 times in the year. I think I feel the same way but I want to make it right for our kid. What could I do. I know I love her and can live with her till rest of my wife. I want to reconnect with her in a real way, to restore trust and to build a new relation. I saw that system isn`t working if we are living together. So what should I do.
Build some intrigue into your schedule that keeps him wanting more. Wait a few minutes to text back, or if he asks if you're free Tuesday, say that you have other plans but you'd love to meet up on Wednesday. This helps him to realize that your time is valuable and that he'll have to go out of his way to see you. Just remember, no one likes playing games. "Don't move dates around too much—that can get frustrating for a guy who also has a busy schedule like you," Trespicio says.
This means be honest with yourself: Is there anything in your life right now that could interfere with the success of a new relationship? A common scenario that I see in my practice is a couple will have a whirlwind romance: feel amazing connection, fall in love…but then the guy starts to pull away or blows hot and cold (he’s interested one week and distant the next). And this might go on for some time before the guy finally admits that he’s not ready for a relationship. This is heartbreaking for both of you because it’s really painful to break up after you’ve become deeply bonded.

One thing that you always need to keep in mind is that you shouldn’t go looking for your old relationship in the new guy. If you keep on looking for similarities, then you will end up with someone who is completely like your ex. This is definitely not going to work in your favor. Instead of this, you should look for qualities that you would like your ideal boyfriend to have.


Yes, the argument I’m referring to was everything that was said when I got teary and upset… I couldnt stop talking and trying to find out the reason for my feelings so I kept asking him why he wanted to stop and no answer he gave made me feel better so I kept on saying I just didn’t understand and asking why didn’t he do this, or that. I also told him I felt rejected and he said that was ridiculous, which upset me more…. we ‘talked’, with me getting more and more upset and he said I was talking… Read more »
We've been together for 4 years and then he purposed me. So we've in this relationship for 5 years, and were engaged. Im 28 and he is 30. I live at my mothers house and he lives with his. It was right after my father has passed away. He went to ask my father for my hand, actually. It feels like he really did love me, and tried his best. But I was to stubborn, critical and basically was pretty depressed with my whole life. We started to look for places to get married and planning the wedding, but it was too hard cuz we were not financially stable... Eventually we gave up and stopped looking for places for the wedding and doing the planning because 2 of us were too busy. I was really struggling having my life crisises, and he tried to support me, but we were always fighting. It led to many frustrations, lots of argues and comunication problems. After I started a new job I had no time to go sleep over at his place, and my cat was pregnant. I had no time for anything and was in a huge stress and depression. We became pretty distant and barely met. He tried to support me as much as he could, but I was very frustrated all the time, and we fought.
Reason #5. Maybe you read on the internet that you just need some time apart. The negative emotions need to die down. Your ex is angry, and once he stops being angry, he will realize what a mistake he has made. In the meantime you can improve and become a much better version of yourself. Right? Wrong. No 30, 60 or 90 days of no contact or space can heal a broken relationship. Granted, it can make anger dissipate and make people nostalgic. But it cannot fix deep problems in relationships. Most likely the two of you are simply incompatible right now. It will take a lot of experience interacting with other people before you can possibly embark on a new and healthier relationship with your ex. But when that time comes, you may not want your ex-partner back anymore.

There's always a chance to win her back, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Spend this time focusing on yourself and improving aspects of your life that can be worked on, essentially, become an improved version of yourself. Regaining her trust is definitely no easy task, but as long as you are consistent in your effort and the relationship she shared with you was a meaningful one, there's always a possibility where she comes around.

In fact, seeing a reconciliation as anything other than a combination of mutual growth and effort is a pretty unhealthy approach. "I would avoid the mindset of 'winning' over anyone," says Dr. Mariana Bockarova, Ph.D., who teaches relationship psychology at the University of Toronto. "If your relationship is missing some key attributes, no one has won in the end."
Sometimes the break up is so unique or troubling or complex, that it requires some specialized coaching.  Or sometimes, people do better if they can talk to someone who is an expert at helping folks with their relationship troubles.  Well, if you fall into that category, then you are in luck.  All you need to do is reach out to me (i.e. click Coaching Services in my website’s Menu Section) and I am sure we can work out something!
Some statements in this article are right some are not really applicable in my situation. I have two potential lover in the future trying to get me but I haven’t decided which one because thet need to show me something first and of course I don’t give those things they want. Suddenly both of them were pulling away and not gave much attention as before, that time I waited and even no clue at all what have had happened. I tried not to put any assumption and put blame on myself, tried to relax and had fun with friends. Two months, then I just shoot the questions to both. I don’t care, if they’re not interested please don’t block my door. “You okay? Are you not interested in me anymore? You mad at me or something?”.. One got angry and said that I am the one who becomes distant and not talking to him, in fact I was just giving him space. We had argument and he left. The other guy said sorry, he didn’t give any reason, he just said sorry and but coming back more to me, giving more attention bigger and sweeter than before. He said he feels wanted by me, and now I know which one to choose. So the point is just speak up and see his reaction. Let it naturally, if you mad and become uncomfortable just say it. Plenty fishes in the sea, with patients you will know that he’s the one. A feeling without pressure or hideous love game. Goodluck!
Keeping him guessing could be as simple as suggesting a new restaurant that the two of you have never tried, completely switching up your style by trying a new hairdo, wearing a sexy outfit to catch his attention, or just falling off the face of the Earth one day and never providing him with an explanation about your whereabouts. Sure, these tactics may seem a little bit rude, but you want the guy, right? So you have to keep him guessing!
(The underlying point this article/system is hidden between the lines. It's meant to craft you into a confident person, ever deeper than that, it's actually preparing you to be able to ACTUALLY move on. With this new found image and confidence, you may discover that time spent with a person doesn't justify their actions, and you may see that there are better matches out there, and you're now prepared.)
Only he knows how he is feeling and it is impossible to second guess the reasons. The advise here that I would give (and this is my own personal opinion, everyone should do what feels right for them) is to ease the focus away from him and put it back onto yourself. Appreciate your own worth, keep yourself busy doing things that you enjoy, try to refrain from thinking about it all too much and remember that if he is the right guy for you, he will be in touch. No amount of texting or calling will change anything. If he does pull back too much, then do the same.
Hey girl! so, Birsel-love, dear, while I’m no expert in the area of love, (I dont consider myself one at least) but, from women to women, from girl to girl, I would be of most happy to service you on my advice on this. Can I? May I? please? if so, then carry on, read, but honestly, if not, at least, at the bare minimum, would you mind considering this just a little? ‘kay? thank you, I appreciate your thoughtfulness, even if i don’t get to see you reading this, its a step.❤ ( WAY BELOW, AFTER THE DOT LINE, IS some expert ADVICE: check it out; she’s yrs married now)
Relationships often end in a whirlwind of doubt and bitter accusation. You probably said a few things you didn't mean, and she fought back. Now that you've had a little bit of time to think about what's been lost, you know you want her back. If you put your heart and mind to it, you might be able to win her over all over again. Fixing whatever went wrong in the first place can be all it takes to prove that you've changed.
Hi so me and my gf of 6 months recently broke up about 3wks ago. We lived close together for the first week of us dating, but then she had to go back hom this summer to do some classes at another college. We stayed super connected and the spark was still there. We FaceTimed and/or texted everyday so we could keep us w/each other. We watched shows and movies together, and we even saw each other physically in between for a little a couple of times. Everything was fantastic and i feel we were on the same page. We were both vulnerable, open and honest with each other. When she came back home to her dorms, I stayed over the night and we did it for the first time. It wasn’t perfect, and I probably wasn’t prepared myself but I was willing to talk the day after since I was comfortable enough with her. After that day she seemed distant and rarely texted me. When I confronted her about it, she finally opened up and said she’s been having connection/emotional issues and she doesn’t know if it’s something that she needs to work on herself for awhile. We met up for coffee a few days later and after we finished talking about some stuff, she brought up just being friends and I stupidly agreed because I figured that’s what she wanted since she had been acting that way. She already had my hoodie and stuff in her bag and gave it to me...which hurt bc she planned that. She still looks at my Snapchat story’s and my instagram daily. I still really like this girl. I know I need to work on being less jumpy and anxious when shit hits the fan. What should I do?
My girlfriend of two years has left me again (after doing the same thing about two months prior). The last time I had began to move on even though I really didn't want to. She contacted me and said she was shocked by how fast I was moving on and she proceeded to make me believe she wanted me back. Two weeks ago she did the same again - ended it after telling me she "hates me", doesn't love me or fancy me. It's all very out of the blue and I'm acting desperate and needy right now, it's awful. I feel like I'm going mad and I just don't know what to do. I love her but I feel like it's a lost cause.
Look hot on social media.. In this day and age, as soon as you start talking to a potential boyfriend, you’ll add him on Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and the like. It’s how everyone keeps an eye on everybody else nowadays, so you can bet your bottom dollar that he’ll be stalking you on social media just as much as you’re stalking him. Make sure you’re on top form when you post your #selfieoftheday and I promise that he’ll be putty in your hand.
Julia you hit the nail on the head I feel the same way .too many times i have heard its all the woman”s fault let him have his pity party while we set back and feel like crap because they cant handle emotions .well personally i think men should stand up and face things they are no more emotional then we are we need space and time too but do they let us? yes by never coming back because they didnt get the cake and eat it too so they go on to the next and next and the first poor women is left picking up the peaces while him and new women are flying high .i think we need to stop babying them
Unfortunately Thomas, you don't seem like you're in the right place emotionally and mentally yet to be trying to win her back at this point. She still has a foothold over your emotions right now and until you're able to free yourself from it, you'll never win her back the right way. As much as it may suck to see her with someone else right now, it's something you have to accept and understand that there isn't much you can do about it, until you are able to free your emotions up and not let what she does affect you. Otherwise, you'll end up getting frustrated at times and behaving either out of jealousy or insecurities which pushes her further away and causes her to lose respect for you as a man, and potentially even seek out other guys in the process.
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Hi my boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago, for the first 2 weeks he reached out to me a few times all positive and I replied. But i spoke to him on the phone 1 week ago, in which I cried and told him how i felt and that I wanted to be with him and could make it work. He said there was nothing I could do to change his mind, he still cared for me, but didnt see a future with me, and we didn’t have enough of an emotional connection for him. I haven’t spoken to him since, I am worried as he doesnt have any social media he wont be able to see what I am up to and I don’t think he will reach out again to me. Im not sure what the best plan going forward is
Hi this is Desireen again … So im about to finish my No contact period but he hasn’t attempt to contact me. And I heard she’s escorting another girl.. how can I approach him?? I’m really not sure if I can approach him since I feel so shy after all the things that happened And what if the two of them end up together? Should I still reach out for him or should I wait again??.. Im really nervous that I may not get him back

How do couples strike this tricky balance? By allowing each partner to have what he calls "separate sexuality," or a sex life that doesn't include (or betray) the other. "For him, that might mean allowing his wife to use sex toys or letting other men look at her," Dr. Kort says. "For her, it might be permitting him to watch pornography in order to experience a fantasy." Such indulgences help maintain the balance of desire and devotion for both parties, so talk to your partner outside of the bedroom and see if this is something one (or both of you) might be interested in.
Hey Kelly, pretty much the same here.. I was in a relationship for almost 2 years, I moved in with him after a few months because everything was going great and he wanted to spend more time together. I was aware he was OCD, and he was aware that I was not a neat person. I live in clutter. My parents live in the country so we didn’t have anyplace to dispose of unwanted items/clothes or garbage. (We burn our garbage) anyway that’s how my life was, and it became a habit to be cluttery. I had More things than I needed, I never got rid of anything old. And I have issues with my own family where nobody talks to anybody. I was extremely close to my parents because we never had anybody else. Anyway, I told my boyfriend before I moved in that I was messy and made him promise not to ever give up on me, to be patient and to motivate me because I’m not self motivated unless it comes to work. At home I’m lazy and relax, I am not active. Lately he’s been dealing with a lot of stress, massive amounts of overtime for the past couple months and his parents left to live in a state 5 states away from us down south. Communication with them has become harder because of Hurricanes & their busy schedules. So as a result he became depressed. Our only friend and neighbor we hungout with slowly became depressed too, and she stopped hanging out with us. Our world got smaller, just me & him. And he stopped doing ANYTHING pretty much. He was sleeping a lot and I can’t recall before our breakup any time we spent together (aside from going to a wedding & to get a friend of his who stayed for a week.) AND WE LIVED IN THE SAME HOUSE. I feel his depression was a result of his own actions, he stopped doing things he use to. And me not having a job made me cling to every second we spent together. Just everything came crashing down on us. I feel we didn’t fail each other like he thinks, because we are both different. But rather I feel we just were going through a rough patch that happens with couples. The honeymoon wore off. We had to put effort in now because things were depressing and not easy. And he thought it was underlining issues so he no longer wanted to work things out. I hope you two fixed things. How are you?

What I mean by leave them alone is don’t bring up the notion of getting back together just yet. Let the wounds somewhat heal before trying to reunite. If you have been broke up for a long time, ignore this. The reason you want to put some time between the breakup is the bad memories (if there are bad memories) are still fresh and your ex’s emotions are extremely raw. Time offers perspective.
I meant a friend who directed me to Dr. Ikhine on the internet who help people to solve their problem and then i wrote to him and he said i should not worry about anything, that i should give him 48 hours for him to cast a spell for me and after that 48 hours my ex boyfriend called me on my office line and started begging. That is how my ex boy friend came back to me contact dr.wingsperfect.life@gmail. com put a smile in your face once again his help is guaranteed. more life in love
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