Right on from the man’s perspective. The kind of things like “you’re in the doghouse” is exactly what drives men away. Respect goes both ways in a relationship, and it’s not a battle of the sexes. When women see it as “men vs. women” it’s half over already. It’s not to say men are not jerks — many are. But if the love and connection are strong, then be respectful. If we guys want to have me time or gain some perspectives by retreating, please let us do so instead of making us feel even worse, like we’re scum…. and we will respect more of you, as we also know you need your space too from time to time. A relationship is a fluid thing and we need to adjust and adapt. Mostly, we need to respect each other.

Getting a guy to commit isn’t that hard at all. You just need to know what you want and be bold enough to go after it. Some studies say that the word ’want’ is one of the most powerful words on the planet. And if you have been wondering what makes a man commit, then wonder no more.; just find little ways to make him 'want' you. Turn this demanding word into something sexy and use it to your advantage. Tell him what you want and when you want it. But don’t make it sound like you are a spoiled brat or like you are being bossy. Just make sure you give out the vibe of a confident woman whose views and wishes can’t be shaken just because you’re in love. Men like to rule but they love a woman who knows when to take control; he will love that, for sure.
But sometimes filling your life with positive things is not enough. In fact, having a good vibe isn’t really about having the things you love around you or trying to imprint the idea that you feel good into your mind. It’s more about removing the self-destructive, negative thinking (and the behavior that the negative thinking creates) – i.e. changing the lens that you see the world yourself and your situations through.

Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.


my ex and I had been together for 3 years(last year of highschool to third year of college-different cities).I broke things of two months ago because we would get intimate rarely the last two month,and when I asked him why,he replyed that we both gained weight and he can't see me as sexually as he used to, but he still didn't want to break up and wanted to work things out,but I was too emotional to think about it then. For the next month after the breakup he still said he wanted me. We saw each other about two weeks ago, and he started being a bit weird... he said he still loves me but doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone, but we can still have sex, or that he is sure that if we took our clothes right then and there we would have sex,or asking me how would i feel if he told me togive him a hug... I told him I still love him and I am not iterested in him being just someone I talk to and occationally have sex with,and if sex was what I wanted,I can find it anywhere I want. Then he started being friendly for a bit,then giving me the cold shoulder the next day. I looked sad and a bit clingy,but didn't beg or acted needy. I recently learned from common a friend that he told her "if she doesn't want me once,I don't want her a hundred times" when she asked how are things between us. To this day we still keep in touch and are on very friendly terms (we used to be very good friends for years before we became lovers) and he usually reaches out,although I'm trying to take some disdance and don't always reply him. I still want after all these things to be with him,and it's not that I just miss him,or the idea of being in a relationship. I miss him for who he is. I really can't understand if it is just a phase or he really doesn't want me. I am willing to try work things out (but not changing my body or myself just to fit his standards as I would never demand that of him) if I see interest from his part,but his behaviour confuses me. what should I do? He is also coming back to our hometown for three days,and asked me to go out for drinks at a place we both used to work and I said ok... I am not sure if it was the right thing to do,or if he will friendzone me if I go out with him for drinks on friendly terms... I don't know what to do...
I think that continuing your no contact for now would be a better idea before sending out the text. It may be too soon to send this without him thinking you have motives because the breakup was still relatively recent. And if the issue for the breakup was because of his clubbing interests, perhaps it might a good idea to let him go through this phase first instead of suppressing negative emotions while in the relationship, since it's usually just a phase that people go through.
If you have been waiting for him to commit and take the relationship to the next stage, it might be time to have a talk with him and let him know that you have been on hold for a while. You want him to know that leaving is an option for you if your needs in the relationship are not being met. A commitment is important to you and you feel it is time for him to decide whether he is on the same page as you are.
Typically, men love to see their woman as a prize that they need to work for. They see the woman that they choose to be with as an accomplishment and as someone that took work to earn. It might sound a little silly but it’s true. Men love to know a woman has a mind of her own, is confident, and isn’t easy to get. So, men pull away when women get too clingy. Do not start canceling all your plans to be available to him every day all day.
We almost know each other for 4 month and I was feeling he is opening up to me and he was not ready to fall in love and he was honest with me bout when he was talking to me sometime I was feeling he is into me .he was giving his time his is a doctor and when ever I text to him even 8f he is busy he was replaying me quickly and I day at earlier I told him if he want me to stop talking to him he said no stay with me and for 1 month and half he pull away …we working at same hospital and I want to vacation and when I go back to work he came to me and say Hi …i was so serpraice!!! And I act normal with him and from that day he came to play I work and see me acting like he is not here for me and sometime I can see him looking for me from his eyes and say Hi sometime …im really confuse why he came alot to the arya that I work and look at me hiding his eyes and watching my Snapchat.
we had no contact for about 2-3 months and since it's approaching his birthday again this year, i contacted him through our mutual friend to do a catch up. we agreed to hang out, him, our mutual friend and me, the 2 of us for the weekend. an afternoon around the city, for a swim/hike, dinner and drinks at the club and lunch the next day before i head back home.
If you and your ex were in any type of serious relationship, then they will not be able to move on so quickly. In fact, no contact is only going to make them miss you more and remember the good things about you. You have to take a leap of faith over here. The alternative to no contact is being a creep and texting and stalking your ex all the time, which will probably lead to a restraining order against you. You really don’t have much of an option.

So me and this guy used to talk a lot face to face and then he asked for number one day and we texted all the time and spoke face to face but then after a year we no longer spoke face to face just cuz when we would act lovey dovey on text I started to freak out thinking it would be awkward face to face so yh that stopped but we still texted then I started liking him then ended up telllingg him n he said he liked me back but then his friend told me he was lying so I find out he was pretending cuz he felt bad even tho I said if. U don’t like me it’s okay.But yh we had a massively argument and didn’t speak for six weeks but I still liked him so being stupid I went running back and we have been talking ever since but now we have tiny arguments over silly stuff n he lied to me for the first time don’t get me wrong we still have a good time but I don’t know sometimes I feel like I’m wasting my time cuz I put effort it like I always text first n when I told him that he said it’s because he doesn’t kno when to and I’m like does it look like I know when ur available? No but I still text u. He also has this bff of his a girl who I get his close with but the pics they post together are couple-y. And Ik me and him ain’t together but I need advice, do I stop talking to him or what?
Once you’ve sent your insecurities packing, you’ll see that manipulation and passive-aggressive behaviour is so much harder than simply being the fabulous woman you are. You’re the girlfriend who supports her man, is fun to be with and always great in bed. Most importantly, you have your own life which you prioritise, giving him healthy space to appreciate just how high value you are.
It may not be possible at the start, especially when the breakup was recent and memories of the relationship are still filled in both party's heads. He could be contacting because he misses you to a certain extent but is conflicted and distracted by his new relationship, resulting in him acting this way towards you. Depending on how recent, I would suggest going into NC for now to give each other some space first.
When you start dating someone you’re crazy about, you have to resist the urge to come on too strong and scare him away. It’s happened to me numerous times in the past; I’ve been too available, I haven’t let my new guy breathe and most importantly, I haven’t given him the opportunity to miss me. Needless to say, it never worked out. Don’t make the same mistakes I have—step away from the boyfriend.
We’ve come full circle; at this point I can also tell you that if you’ve done everything possible to get back with your ex, if you’ve followed our advice diligently, if you’ve worked with a relationship expert and the one you love still isn’t willing to make any compromises or sacrifices to also accommodate you and to make things work; then perhaps you should consider moving on and research how to get over a breakup because he or she probably wasn’t right for you.
To improve your self-esteem, concentrate on your strengths in all areas: emotional, social, talents and skills, appearance, and any others that are important to you. For example, you might have natural empathy, the ability to make people feel understood, a talent for baking, and gorgeous hair. Focusing on the positive and ignoring the negative can help you to feel adequate and valuable as an individual, especially when you connect the best parts of yourself to helping others.[9] If you feel useless, make yourself useful! Take your natural empathy and talent for baking and bake some fresh cookies for your elderly neighbors.
While intimacy and post-sex cuddling can be wonderful for many men, sometimes a little "throw-me-down sex" is exactly what they want, plain and simple. "Men want their wives to enjoy raw sex, not just endure it or take it personally," says Joe Kort, Ph.D, a psychotherapist and sexologist in Royal Oak, Michigan. "It's not [always] about dominating a woman, but rather ravishing her." On occasion, don't be afraid to let him do just that. (So long as it's something you're comfortable with, of course.)
It has been proven that people appreciate the things that they invest in. For example, you’re more likely to fall in love and take better care of an expensive handbag if it took you 12 months worth of savings to purchase it. But for the purse your cousin gifted you for your 21st birthday, it stays crammed in the back of your closet. You didn’t have to work very hard to obtain it, so it doesn’t hold the same type of sentimental value to you. The same principal applies to relationships. People care more when they put more effort into their relationships, so if you want your guy to commit, you have to get him to invest in you!

My boyfriend and I had been living together for almost six months although we’ve been dating for close to 3 years. At first it was the perfect moments of our lives but along the way we started having pointless arguments and naughty attitudes toward each other. I couldn’t stand him and he always said it was because he loved me more. So he got another apartment and stopped staying with me. Now I miss him more than I ever have. We stopped fighting and eventually he invited me over for the weekend because he was dying to see me. After leaving, I missed him more and couldn’t do anything without him. He cried that he misses me more but I don’t think he does else he would have moved back in. Please any help making him miss me more than I miss him?
Each woman has her own control panel of hot buttons (issues that upset her). There’s no need to court unnecessary conflict. Most issues are avoidable. All you have to do is listen, and observe. No, we’re not crazy. There’s a reason for our behavior. We’re always telling you what we want and need. Your job is to hear what we’re saying and help us to achieve the loving harmony we seek with you.
Making your man commit can take time and effort. You want to send him signals that you are ready to take the relationship further but at the same time don’t want to overdo it so it becomes an obsession or pressurizing. Don’t let the relationship become boring, keep an element on fun and excitement in it by doing something new together, going on nights out or trying something new in the bedroom.
No where in this article is there mention about being blocked! How am I to contact my ex girlfriend after 30 day no contact if she blocked me from Facebook, instagram, phone calls, and text messages? I had to make a fake Facebook to find out that she is in a possible rebound relationship! I recently, a day before starting no contact sent her two positive emails not even mentioning us getting back and she responded to both emails : Leave me the fuck alone!!! Leave me the fuck alone!!!! I know exactly why she broke it off and I do have all of the reasons as to why if back with her it will work for the both of us. My way of thinking has changed drastically. We haven't been together since August 21st and on her birthday which was the 10th of September I delivered 29 roses and 29 balloons with a card and a three page letter and it still wasn't enough. She can be very stubborn and it's a good chance that someone close to her is filling her head up by instructing her to move on and block the thought of me! So I have no choice but to do the 30 day no contact rule. However, if I'm blocked from reaching out to her in every way possible, the only option would be to pop up at her job or home which to me would be very stalkish!
Go easy with the communication. When you start to really like someone, all logic goes out of the window. Instead of casually checking in with him once every couple of days, it can be hard to resist texting him on the hour every hour, even if he’s not your boyfriend yet! My suggestion is to refrain from messaging him unless he messages you. And, when he does message you, give it at least a few hours before you respond. During this time period, I guarantee he’ll be wondering where you are, what you’re doing and missing you.
My ex broke up with me two weeks ago, because of a text I sent him AND he broke up with me over the phone. We have broken up maybe ten times already this year and I am honestly so drained. He is extremely controlling, jealous, possessive, obsessive and verbally and mentally abusive. But HE broke up with me after I put up with all those horrible traits he has. But for some reason, this break up hit me real hard. HEs not the same guy I met in the beginning and I’m starting to think THIS is really who he is. He said he won’t change and that there is nothing wrong with him and that this is all my fault. I have become obsessive like him and I’m feeling so lonely and sad, over someone who once even called me a whore because he has zero trust in me, and I have always been honest and loyal to him. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to get out of the house and do things that I like but I’m feeling a little depressed over it. I don’t know he still has this much power over me. I even called him crying and screaming telling him I’m having a hard time over this break up and I think he’s getting a kick out of it. I feel like he stole my mojo cuz I used to be so tough in the beginning. Now .... I lost my female balls and I feel like I will never find someone again who will love me like he did. But why would I want someone to love me the way he did when clearly it was a toxic love. Any advice on how I can get myself back? I’m more concerned about getting my balls back rather then him. I apologize for the language but this is the best way I can’t describe what I feel. He controlled me so much that even without him I still feel like I’m under his control. Any advice please?!
It becomes our process and not just your own. We are available every single day, 365 days a year because we recognize that your love for your ex has no boundaries or days off! So if you are serious about doing everything possible to get back with your ex, don’t wait any longer and reach out to me or to a relationship expert from the love coach team here at WithMyExAgain.com.
Note also that therapy is virtually always more potent if the couple goes together for some of the sessions. Paulette, after initial reluctance, decided to schedule sessions with Peter's therapist as well.  They sometimes saw the therapist separately, and sometimes together which helped them to recognize and rectify the problematic patterns in their prior interactions.  When both partners participate in a process of growth, the odds zoom up that the outcome will be positive for both of them.  

Lastly, until your guy finally comes to his senses and realizes that you’re the girl from him, don’t stop dating other men. Keep your options open even if you’re not particularly interested in these other guys. If you keep your social calendar full of dates with others, you will be less worried about what your guy is doing, and you won’t be so preoccupied with things moving from casual into a committed relationship.


My boyfriend for 4 months started calling and texting less as of the second week of January. It is true that he had some successive things happening one after the other which also prevented us for meeting since the new years eve. But despite that I let him know that I wasn’t happy with his careless behaviour. By the third week of January the date of his thesis submission approached and it just got worse. As I got bady ill for 4 days and he didn’t even get briefed because he did not ask how I was although he kept the conversation, I exploded on him and told him aaaalll I felt and went through and how he was absent when I needed him. My message just stayed unread on purpose till the morning and he tried to start a new normal conversation as usual like nothing happened. I was pissed off so I answered short, late, and tough. He stopped talking and by the time I cooled down he was already shut off. I ended up keeping the conversation somehow as he stopped initiating. By the following weekend I was near his area and we were talking so I asked if he feels like going out having some air. He made an excuse and I just headed home. We talked less and less through the following week, by thursday night we had a light chat and I asked how he was, he said that he was very tired and unhappy. As I asked why, is it going bad at work, my message just stayed unread till the morning. It was Friday 9 Feb. And he was quite responsive through the day, so I asked to meet and as he kept making excuses related to work, I just pushed more. So he just stopped responding to my messages and calls. Yes I know I did aaaall kinds of the things to avoid in these situations but I could not help but to see and understand what was happening to him that he had to express his unhappiness. After this incident I just disappeared too until valentine’s day at around 10 pm. I sent a brief apology message for my harsh words and putting the blame on him (when I exploded on him) while he was already having a hard time by himself. I wished him good luck with his upcoming thesis presentation (16 Feb) and wished him that he would never tell anybody again that he is tired and unhappy as he said to me the week before. I got an answer for this message that I was a wonderful girl and very understanding and I have nothing to apologise for and thanks for the good wishes and that I deserve the best and he hopes I will find what I deserve.
When you follow the no contact rule, you give him the time and space to miss you. This can only happen in your absence, not in your presence. By reaching out too soon, you risk falling into a post-relationship relationship. Meaning you talk on occasion and you hang out from time to time, but your relationship is totally undefined and the needle doesn’t seem to be moving in one direction or the other. That’s because you’re both lacking clarity and that’s because you need a period of no contact to get your minds straight. If you don’t take this time, everything will remain cloudy and confusing.

My boyfriend for 4 months started calling and texting less as of the second week of January. It is true that he had some successive things happening one after the other which also prevented us for meeting since the new years eve. But despite that I let him know that I wasn’t happy with his careless behaviour. By the third week of January the date of his thesis submission approached and it just got worse. As I got bady ill for 4 days and he didn’t even get briefed because he did not ask how I was although he kept the conversation, I exploded on him and told him aaaalll I felt and went through and how he was absent when I needed him. My message just stayed unread on purpose till the morning and he tried to start a new normal conversation as usual like nothing happened. I was pissed off so I answered short, late, and tough. He stopped talking and by the time I cooled down he was already shut off. I ended up keeping the conversation somehow as he stopped initiating. By the following weekend I was near his area and we were talking so I asked if he feels like going out having some air. He made an excuse and I just headed home. We talked less and less through the following week, by thursday night we had a light chat and I asked how he was, he said that he was very tired and unhappy. As I asked why, is it going bad at work, my message just stayed unread till the morning. It was Friday 9 Feb. And he was quite responsive through the day, so I asked to meet and as he kept making excuses related to work, I just pushed more. So he just stopped responding to my messages and calls. Yes I know I did aaaall kinds of the things to avoid in these situations but I could not help but to see and understand what was happening to him that he had to express his unhappiness. After this incident I just disappeared too until valentine’s day at around 10 pm. I sent a brief apology message for my harsh words and putting the blame on him (when I exploded on him) while he was already having a hard time by himself. I wished him good luck with his upcoming thesis presentation (16 Feb) and wished him that he would never tell anybody again that he is tired and unhappy as he said to me the week before. I got an answer for this message that I was a wonderful girl and very understanding and I have nothing to apologise for and thanks for the good wishes and that I deserve the best and he hopes I will find what I deserve.
Hlo ,on 27th June he broken up with me,we spnd lot of time together,he is my first love and everything for me,ours relationship was to good evn in school all teachers know about tht we are in relationship, all students said made for each other ,I think about him always every minute ,I was wanting a2nd chance to solve the problem but he decided to breakup evn he doesn’t give any reason why he want to break up with me,i had sent him lot of msgs to convenience him,bt I also force him to continue the relationship otherwise I do sucide and all ,I know there is my mistake and I’m feeling guilty about this ,I was do this only because I don’t want let him go bt after doing this he starts hating.now he don’t evn want to talk me ,it’s hard it’s realize that I will never be with this boy again ,he is the boy who does not want to make me cry bt now he hates me because of my reason bt later I apologise him and try to convince him and pleased him to talk evn as a frnd but he doesn’t so please please please give me some advice how I get him back because I don’t want to leave him in any condition
OMG…I think we’re in the same exact place. And after reading this article, I think I know exactly what to do. I’ve been so consumed with getting hurt again, that I’ve totally missed the fact that the guy I was previously dating kept wanting to hold on to me, even though he keeps saying he doesn’t want a relatinship. THAT’S A CLEAR TED FLAG FOR ME. I recently broke it off with him because he refused to commit, but the next time, I’ll get it right….THIS ARTICLE IS SO PROFOUND!

That's right. Sex is an integral part of healthy and happy relationships, hence the stress on keeping lines of communication open in the bedroom. You know that thing you've always wanted to try, but keep to yourself? We say, let your freak flag fly. Keeping your sex life new and interesting will make you and your partner happier in and out of the bedroom.


Another important thing to take into consideration is that he’s a man and he may be acting in ways you, as a woman, don’t intuitively understand. Your guy is not your girlfriend. Guys like to deal with one thing at a time. If he has a lot on his plate, he may take his attention temporarily away from the relationship. This doesn’t always mean he’s losing interest, it could just mean he’s overwhelmed.

Rules like ‘wait 3 days to call back’ no longer apply. “If you treat dating and love like a game, someone—or both of you—will end up the loser,” says host of, The Rendezvous with Simon and Kim on iHeart Radio, Simon Marcel Badinter. “If you want to, call back in the next 24 hours. It has to be honest and spontaneous if you want to be respected and start a healthy relationship.”
He broke up with me a week ago over the phone. We were together for 7 months and had a deep connection. I have not contacted him since. Yesterday I received a text from him explaining why he did it and apology. Pretty much he is not over his divorce, has health issues, dealing with work problems, trying to work on a relationship with his kids and now is not a good time and not fair to me to continue the relationship. Should I respond or keep no contact for 30 days? Or should I acknowledge the text and respond?

Even if you want to win her back, you're going to have to accept and process the breakup either way because it's unlikely that you'll win her back simply by being the same person as you were. The panicking and desperate behaviors also would have made her feel more strongly about the breakup, and you're going to need to give both parties space right now. Go into no contact and process your emotions, follow the guidelines in our articles, before reaching out to her again.
If you’re up to your eyeballs in the gooey joy of new love, you might be tempted to spend 100% of your time with her. Fight that urge, and take a mental (and maybe physical) cold shower. Recognize that an occasional night on your own—or with your buddies—could be a great thing for you and your relationship. You’ll feel more grounded, she’ll miss you and want you more, and you’ll keep those fireworks going even longer than you thought possible.

Show him that being with you is a fun, positive experience. When he sees that you didn’t let your emotions overrun you and senses that you didn’t place such a high importance on his actions, he’ll be motivated to stay close and connected with you. He’ll recognize that he’s with a woman who respects his needs while taking care of her own feelings. And he’ll appreciate that you didn’t blame or criticize him.


We almost know each other for 4 month and I was feeling he is opening up to me and he was not ready to fall in love and he was honest with me bout when he was talking to me sometime I was feeling he is into me .he was giving his time his is a doctor and when ever I text to him even 8f he is busy he was replaying me quickly and I day at earlier I told him if he want me to stop talking to him he said no stay with me and for 1 month and half he pull away …we working at same hospital and I want to vacation and when I go back to work he came to me and say Hi …i was so serpraice!!! And I act normal with him and from that day he came to play I work and see me acting like he is not here for me and sometime I can see him looking for me from his eyes and say Hi sometime …im really confuse why he came alot to the arya that I work and look at me hiding his eyes and watching my Snapchat.
If you try to take your ex head on and force them to change their mind you will probably meet a lot of resistance and never quite get to where you want to go. It’s quite simple it is impossible to force someone to love you; but you can make them fall in love with you if you put the right actions in place and if you are a little bit clever in your approach!

Can you become close friends with your ex? My ex broke up with me but we were best friends. He is with someone new but is still contacting me. I don’t know if it’s just for friendship or does he miss our relationship? He sends me messages about our serie that we watched together, but the conversation is short and not deep at all. I still love him, and I don’t know what to do?

A week or so ago my boyfriend of one year broke up with me, said his feelings just went away, and that he had been feeling that may for a while. We were perfect together, had the same sense of humour, always had a great time together no matter what we were doing, could easily and effectively communicate, etc. We were absolutely infatuated with each other! but there was one issue that came up a few times that we could not seem to fix. This issue was that as much as I understood and agreed that time with friends is so important in any relationship, i justwanted to be more involved in his life sometimes in regards to hanging out with him and his friends, and him hanging out with me and mine and not have him always going out late without including me, every single time. However for some reason he just did not want me to join them, and never wanted to come meet me when I was with my friends, even if they had their partners with them. After yet another discussion about this issue, he just decided he couldn’t compromise and broke up with me instead. Also said that he’s lost feelings for me. I trust completely that there was no cheating involved. I am wondering whether I have a good chance of getting him back in terms of him realising what he had through no contact, because honestly, apart from that we were absolutely perfect together, and I wonder if the same issue coming up a few times is what turned him off, even though I was never suggesting that he stop go out at all.


It is normal for you men to want to spend time with their friends to talk about the football and other interests and it is good for him to have an outlet… as should you. Stopping him seeing his friends is never a wise move to make. You man will feel incredibly proud if his friends say how “cool” you are. You can become the “cool” girlfriend by not stopping him from seeing his friends, showing genuine interest in his friends interests and life’s, and having a laugh with them.
This is why it’s important that not only do his friends like you, but you need to make sure that they love you! Don’t come across as fake though, they’ll be able to see right through you. Instead, be cordial, be friendly, smile and laugh at their jokes. Become friends with his friends’ girlfriends, too. If you can make a good impression on his pals, their love for you may be more than enough for your guy to finally realize you’re The One, and he will be ready to finally settle down with you.
In fact, for a lot of women this is a natural part of a relationship too. It is really hard to be “on” all the time. For a man, having seasons of drift is totally normal even if he is madly in love with you. Falling in love can make him feel vulnerable and distance is sometimes a natural response to that fear of closeness. He’ll come in and out as he works out his feelings and becomes comfortable in the relationship.
But it’s not good enough to pretend to be less interested, you actually need to take some steps to take your mind off of him, what he’s doing and what he’s thinking. Get busy with work or school, stop contacting him as much, and don’t be so quick to respond to his messages and calls. He will wonder what happened to make you back off, and it will definitely make him want to commit.
Hi Lauren! I am from the Philippines and I bumped on this site trying to find out advises for my current relationship. My story will be a bit long and I hope you may find time reading it. I have been in a relationship for 8months now. Our relationship started in a most undesirable way. First, let me tell you the romantic background of the guy whom I decided to be with. His first girlfriend was way back in his High School years. They were together for four years. The girl has a "childhood friend" who was a Filipino Australian citizen (A Filipino who migrated in AU and became a citizen), eventually, the fall of the relationship was when the girl thought that the relationship was going nowhere and decided to cheat when that "childhood friend" went back to the Philippines. When he learned the thing, of course his heart got broken and had a hard time moving on. After a year, he had his second girl who was his college junior (they were both studying Nursing) and all went fine, he shared with me that he gave all the girl's wants and needs but in the end he was made aware that the girl is cheating and that she is dating another man when they are still together and the mother of the girl belittled him for being "just a nurse". They broke up and he did all to win the gilr back but nothing happened. After a year, when he learned that the girl became available "again", he started courting her "again" to win her back, of course the girl chose a different man instead of him and that's when he decided to move on. On the other hand, we were officemates, I am a Human Resource Officer and he's a Company Nurse, at first, I did not like him for he's just not my type. Until the tables turned. I love talking to him and I enjoy his company, I told him that I like him and he said it was okay. Eventually I fell in love and confessed, he told me he's not ready and can't reciprocate my love, as well, he d...
I stayed up late last night to read your words. I was searching for some consolation to a negative thought in my head, and I found it. And here you are again today. You nailed it. Only through extreme heartache, researching yourself, and learning the lessons can you truly appreciate your eloquently written words. You are so highly skilled. What a gift. You found your calling. Ox

Do not say yes every time he asks you out Saying sorry, I’m busy, to every third or fourth date guarantees to keep him interested and challenged to win you over. If he asks you why you are busy keep it vague saying you already had plans for that night. Then suggest the following evening. That is all he needs to know. He will wonder if there is another man in the picture and that will set off his hunter instincts. This will drive him mad with desire trying to figure out where you are and who you are with.
Hi i just broke up with my bf and he came back and say sorry swear to change but i totally shut him off I'm still ego than i realize that i need him over everything. And I'm begging him this time but he already had a rebound love. I came to him and he said he love me things could change if i admit earlier. Cause he said he cant leave that girl bcs he isnt that type of man that leave girl when he already give hope. But before i go back he give me a ring. And i dont know how to react. And he even contact ne until now. Saying if i found someone new and have i still wearing the ring. I was like, what's the point all of this? Do he love me still or not. And i dont understand what should i do. I want him back but I'm not sure what to do. So pls help 😭
Guys do it…and dammit, women should be able to do it too.  In other words, don’t always be available for him by constantly saying “YES” or “OK”.  He wants his space so that means he does NOT get privileges of calling you or asking you to go out when he feels the whim.  He has to earn back that “high priority” status.  Make other plans so that he will start to remember how you used to be available for him, but now you’ve moved on and are keeping busy.
Stef Safran, is “Chicago’s Introductionista” and owner of Stef and the City. She’s a matchmaking and dating expert in Chicago. She’s been in the business for over 14 years, starting with recruiting contestants on “The Dating Game.” She founded Stef and the City in 2009 and have been featured in media outlets such as; the Huffington Post, Chicago Sun-Times, The Chicago Tribune, ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, Fox32 News, ABC7’s “Windy City Live”, WCIU’s “You and Me This Morning,” Time Out Chicago and more!
Really interesting theory and scientific backup. I actually agree that human behaviors and emotions are largely influenced by hormones and chemicals. I am a biolochemistry student, and I have been taught this kind of things in class. It's quite interesting in my opinion how men and women differ emotionally just because we don't have the same hormones in our bodies. Just something to think about 🙂
HI Kim…thanks for stopping by. As I talk about in my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, this whole focus on No Contact is just about getting him back, but its also very much about doing things for yourself in a realistic and pragmatic way so if it doesn’t work out, then you path into the future can (and will) be fulfilling. Be careful about reading too much into what guys say during and after a breakup. He may very well not know his feelings that well. He might think he does, but time has a way of telling us the truth about our relationships. To optimize your chances, take a look at some of the ebooks I have written which you can find on my website Menu/products link. Let me know how things go for you Kim!
A goddess "lives confidence." She may not feel authentically confident but she is smart enough to witness her emotions as they are pop up, recognizing when her insecurities are causing her to take a man's behavior personally. She knows when to feel whatever painful stuff comes up inside her and then does exactly what a confident woman would do — not let his behavior define her self-worth!
If you are calling, emailing, and texting your partner incessantly and also doing all the asking out, then a man will not even have to lift a finger. The best relationship advice for women from men is: You need to keep the communication in balance. This does not mean that you never ever reach out to the man that you are dating but, you should allow him to ask you out at least in the early stages.
This is never easy because you will wonder about the “what if’s” of the relationship. If he is not willing to commit, you might have to let go. He could realize how much he loves you and come back willing to commit to a relationship. If you let him go, give yourself a couple of weeks to grieve before you move on. This way he has some time to think about the impact of losing you and he might come back.
Perhaps it would be good for you to also do the same, and show him that you're doing just as well. If he's lost the spark with you over the course of the relationship and you want him back, you're going to have to find a way to re-create that spark again (physical attraction, emotional attraction, etc) and your best chance would be when you meet him again to pick your stuff up.
I've finally decided to calm down and stop pushing and go no contact and try to attract him back... but what I don't understand is....if he does come back ... how do people get trust back after something like that? How do people forgive their best friend and greatest supporter for suddenly dumping them and refusing to say why, even when they saw that not being given a reason was killing them? How do I ever feel safe with him again after that? How do I ever get over the really mean things he started saying during our post breakups fights, like that he might never see me again, or that his job and hobbies are more important to him than me? Even if he was just being mean I'll always wonder if he meant it now. How do I ever feel safe with him again when he watched me have a breakdown over our breakup and wasn't there for me and was still mean?
Men don’t commit because they know they don’t have to. They know that you won’t leave them and even if you do leave,there will be some thirsty female out there that will be all too happy to pick up right where you left off. They believe that they are God’s gift to women. They will never realize that women are God’s gift to men. And most women do not recognize their value. And a large amount of women more than likely believe that they don’t have any.
Work on your self-esteem. If you struggle with neediness, you're probably a little lacking in the self-esteem department. You might be looking for your ex to make you feel better about yourself, but the fact is that you are the only person who can really do that. You shouldn't base your happiness on someone else. It makes them feel guilty, obligated and eventually, resentful towards you.
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My bf of five months is going thru a divorce. He broke up with me saying he could fall in love with me so easily but can't let himself and needs time to heal from his marriage. It is an increasingly messy divorce. He messaged the next day saying he has set up counselling and will sort everything out and then again to say he loved every minute with me and is sorry he's not himself right now. I told him to take the time he needs to heal and have been responding to his texts but am finding this all very had and confusing....
Maybe he’s super attentive and into you one minute and the next he can’t be bothered. This can feel jarring. Consistency is comforting, but people aren’t always consistent, and routines can change with circumstances. Those circumstances could be work-related or he could be having family issues, and these aren’t necessarily things he’ll want to talk about.
Instead have your own interests to show him how exciting your life is, with or without him. "You want to be the fast-moving car that he wants to jump into, not the one sitting in the parking lot, waiting around," Trespicio says. Keep up your long runs on the weekends even if he wants to hang out, and don't expect (or nag) him to skip his weekly basketball games in favor of seeing you. "The most appealing thing to a man is a woman who has her own autonomy and strength," Kelman says. The more he sees that you have a fantastic life of your own, the more likely he'll want to jump in and be a part of it.

You've been seeing this guy at least once a week for a few months now. You're both sushi aficionados, his big brown eyes make you melt, and he even laughs out loud at The Mindy Project. It's great—except that you have no idea where things stand. He has yet to introduce you as his girlfriend or bring up being exclusive, and you're craving that "couple" title and the security that comes with it. Talk about blurred lines.
Regardless of whether you decide to move on or attempt to win him back, you should still be spending time working on yourself first and foremost. Contacting him again or moving on would be something you decide to do after that, and you'll have to be mentally prepared that he may not see you the same way as 'best friends' again after the transition from being friends to having a romantic involvement to not working out.

If you want your man to love you more, you should make a point of showing him daily with random acts of kindness, just make sure they are specific. So if he loves grilled cheese sandwiches, make sure you cook that up for lunch. Perhaps he’s a movie buff so grab him a few passes to the theater. If he always has dry lips, make sure he’s got Chapstick in his pockets when he needs it. And if he loves to have the boys over for hockey, you should make plans on the hockey nights and let him know he should invite them over to hang out.
Long distance relationship, We dead-loved each other for one year and then I broke up. She left immediately and I missed her for two weeks and texted back. Three months I didnt care, She kept texting and called. slowly she came up with this breakup thing. All of a sudden she declared breakup and I couldnt digest it. I begged her for 2 weeks. Will she get back? How long should I wait?
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