You may want to actually have a good idea on what you’re talking about before making conclusions about people. One of the things Eric stresses in many of his articles is that a woman needs to be happy with her own life and love herself before she can truly be happy in a relationship. He also points out that if a woman is happy on her own, she will attract love and that it is then up to her to decide if a man is right for her. Kinda sounds like she’s the one in control of her own happiness. How is that sexist? In order to learn, you need to read the entire articles, not just pick out the parts that you can twist into being offensive. However, it’s quite clear that you have some serious anger issues towards men, in which case, how can you possibly expect to be in a happy relationship with one?

Last year we were about to marry, everyone was veryy happy, hi family and my family met then his mother ask for few details and wanted to do enquiry and all of my family and she said she wont allow me to work, i said yes to everthing as i was in love and wanted to marry him everything was soo good but just after the family meeting i said him that he shouldn’t speak a single word in front of his family as i was expecting him support me and say that its been 5 years we know each and already discussed everthing then i got upset from him , we faught and later on he said everthing to his mother and she start hated me , We broke up:(
hi,my girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me about 2 weeks ago..we had a very close/ steady and intimate relationship. we are staying quite far from each onther but we have manage to keep our relationship on track. she is a very active person and was selected to participate in a choir. They went to another city for 3 weeks and during that time we had an argument and someone saw the crack and got close to her. She just send me an sms saying we over and that she moved on with her life..I re aly love my girlfriend and i did everythng wrong on getting her back..besides the distance between us, i cannot handle this situation...please help me on getting my girlfriend back. Besides being boyfriend and girlfriend, we were friends.We shared everythng and i mean everthing.She was the first person i call in the morning and the last one when we go to bed at night.
I really love your blogs, they make a lot of sense, and I need your help with something. I’m 39 years old and I’m engaged to a woman I adore. Here’s my problem, she nags me all the time. I want to be there for her but it feels like she’s always demanding so much time and energy. I know you’re supposed to “compromise” in a relationship but it seems like I’m making all the sacrifices and I’m starting to feel like this relations...
Some statements in this article are right some are not really applicable in my situation. I have two potential lover in the future trying to get me but I haven’t decided which one because thet need to show me something first and of course I don’t give those things they want. Suddenly both of them were pulling away and not gave much attention as before, that time I waited and even no clue at all what have had happened. I tried not to put any assumption and put blame on myself, tried to relax and had fun with friends. Two months, then I just shoot the questions to both. I don’t care, if they’re not interested please don’t block my door. “You okay? Are you not interested in me anymore? You mad at me or something?”.. One got angry and said that I am the one who becomes distant and not talking to him, in fact I was just giving him space. We had argument and he left. The other guy said sorry, he didn’t give any reason, he just said sorry and but coming back more to me, giving more attention bigger and sweeter than before. He said he feels wanted by me, and now I know which one to choose. So the point is just speak up and see his reaction. Let it naturally, if you mad and become uncomfortable just say it. Plenty fishes in the sea, with patients you will know that he’s the one. A feeling without pressure or hideous love game. Goodluck!
If you feel that he is unable to give you the attention you need, perhaps it would be better to focus on moving on as he may not be right for you. However, if this is a temporary phase and you think that it would get better, then maybe giving both parties a break right now by doing no contact would be good since it allows for some breathing room and for him to focus on what he needs to do right now, while you figure out whether his lack of attention towards you is something you're able to accept.
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Hi Lisa! Maybe make use of a limited NC. My best advice is you need to gain more insight and smarts on how this whole ex recovery thing works. That is why I created an ebook called, Ex Recovery Pro. Go take a look. You can get there by way of my website’s Menu, click on the link for “Products.” Chances are, you just need a few good ideas to tap into! I don’t think this will unresolve itself in a quick way.These things seldom do. But over time, he needs to realize and appreciate your value in his life. He is seems to be waffling a bit about commitment issues, unsure what to do.

If you are obsessed with reaching some sort of a milestone, if you have an agenda and aren’t able to be present and enjoy the moment with him,  he is going to put his guard up towards you. He is going to feel like you are not actually with him and that you are trying to manipulate him in order to get what you want. People intuitively … (continued – Click to keep reading Ask a Guy: How Do I Get Him to Commit?)
I was with my ex for two years, after he propose we decided to have kids, a month later I was pregnant. Then everything goes down since then, all the negative things happened. After I giving birth, he told me he didn't love me anymore. I was depressed and breakdown. and he broke up with me when our son was 3 months old. He has depression and back then he switched off his feelings became extremely cold. now he says he still love me, I was someone special that he wanted to have kids with. we broke up last April, and last December he started a new relationship, they are together still. but the thing is we are still living together for some reasons that we have to for a while, maybe another year.( his gf doesn't live with us) I always keep the house tidy and he appreciates what I have done.
In fact, what’s even better – take pre-emptive action. Every once in a while, YOU take some space before he does. In a relationship, you can usually figure out the pattern – let’s say every 2 weeks he will get distant and seem to need space. So instead of waiting for him to ask for it – you wait 10 days and then you pull back and schedule a weekend with some girlfriends or some volunteer activities or a weekend seminar. YOU be unavailable.
The penis gets all the press, but men have many erogenous zones, just like women, says psychologist Melodie Schaefer, PsyD. They just don't tell you to move your hands elsewhere because they're afraid that if they do, women will shut down and not touch them at all, she explains. "But there are many places a woman should touch, like the chest, inner thighs, and face," Schaefer adds. Another key move: Gently gripping a man's testicles, as it can be a real turn-on that blends control with release. You can also stimulate the perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus, which heightens pleasure during oral sex.
Oddly enough, many of my clients were successful in re-establishing contact with their ex boyfriends by simply not even trying.  They didn’t do anything except move forward with their lives, focusing on bettering themselves personally and professionally.  In a way, it is a form of what I call Passive No Contact or Passive Radio Silence.  It works for some people.  They figure that if their boyfriend dropped them, then so be it and instead of becoming dependent and addicted to their ex boyfriend, they choose to embrace other things in their life, doing those things they want to do and accomplish. Then as they focus on those things and have success, often times their ex boyfriends show up realizing they made a huge mistake letting their girlfriend go.
Perform mental health check-ins from time to time:  Does being with him make you happy or do come away from your dates feeling troubled or angry?  Do you feel lifted up when you think of him?  Is he respectful of you, your work and your passions or does he denigrate them?  Most importantly, does he find value in you and what you contribute to his life?  Do you find value in him and what he contributes to yours?

It would depend on the circumstances of why she decided to break up now of all times, whether its because she gradually felt less towards you, or if there was someone else. Typically, a long distance relationship would be harder to win back because the main cause of most breakups here is the lack of physical proximity, which can't be changed unless one party goes over. If her trip at the year end is a long or permanent one, there would probably still be a chance for you to win her back if you're able to reach out successfully, but if it's just for a holiday, you might want to consider walking away because the same result may eventually occur where she loses feelings again down the road.
My bf broke with me on the 25/11/2017. he said that “The light of our relationship is dying” then we broke up. we dated before but he dumped me first then he actually fell in love with me, then broke with me after one month (he broke up with me right after my birthday which it’s on the 24th of November) we haven’t texted each other for about four months, but he’s still following me on apps. i really, REALLY love him. i also so hurt myself a lot during that time. i don’t know how to get him back. I’m crazy about him. We also made a promise a long time ago about getting married. We always talked about having children and what to name them. i just don’t know why he walked away from me

Last year we were about to marry, everyone was veryy happy, hi family and my family met then his mother ask for few details and wanted to do enquiry and all of my family and she said she wont allow me to work, i said yes to everthing as i was in love and wanted to marry him everything was soo good but just after the family meeting i said him that he shouldn’t speak a single word in front of his family as i was expecting him support me and say that its been 5 years we know each and already discussed everthing then i got upset from him , we faught and later on he said everthing to his mother and she start hated me , We broke up:(


If you want to get a guy to miss you, take a break for a few days from calling or texting him or posting on social media so he’ll have a chance to wonder what you’re up to. If he calls or texts you first, wait 5-10 minutes before you return his calls or messages, and try to be the one who ends the conversation first. If you visit his house, leave something small like a piece of jewelry or some makeup so he’ll think of you and miss you whenever he sees it! However, use these techniques in moderation, as he could get upset if he feels manipulated.
This is one the first steps in commitment and should happen around a few months into the relationship. If it doesn’t, gently ask about meeting his family. You can bring it up naturally in a conversation when he is already talking about them so as to not add pressure. If he says that he will take you to meet them soon, just take it for now and don’t push for an exact date and time.
Sounds like pie in the sky? Well, according to Shawn Achor, if he knows everything about what factors are impinging on your happiness such as stressors, hassles, successes, economic circumstances, relationships and so on, then he can only predict 10% of your long term happiness. The remaining 90% is how you process the world around you. If happiness is on the other side of success, it is unlikely you will get there as you continually strive to get better grades, higher salaries and so on.
But now, he is pulling away. Slowly but surely. I’m so lost. I’m trying to give him space but I’m scared he will go away forever. I don’t want that so I’m keeping my shut but I’m just so confused. I don’t know what to do. I love him dearly so much still (I have not expressed that as I’m conscious of the consequences of these things especially with an ex and what we went through).

Use this article as a guideline on what you should be doing, and improve on the areas you were lacking (insecurities, etc) before considering trying anything again. He could be right, but keep in mind that his cheating behavior is still wrong as long as he was in a relationship with you regardless of his reason. He could have expressed and communicated with you regarding what he felt instead of cheating just because he didn't feel satisfied with the sex. Do think about the entire situation and relationship, and decide for yourself whether he is right (about your shortcomings as a reason to break up) or just being unreasonable and finding excuses.
Italiano: Riconquistare la Tua Ex, Português: Conseguir Seu ou Sua Ex de Volta, Deutsch: Deine Ex zurück gewinnen, Français: reconquérir son ex, Русский: вернуть своего бывшего, 中文: 与你的前男友或前女友重新开始, Nederlands: Je ex terugwinnen, Čeština: Jak získat svoji bývalou dívku zpět, Español: recuperar a tu ex, 日本語: 別れた恋人とよりを戻す, Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Mantan Pacar Anda Kembali, العربية: استعادة شريكك السابق, ไทย: ได้แฟนเก่ากลับมา, Tiếng Việt: Giành lại người yêu cũ, 한국어: 전 애인과 다시 결합하는 방법, हिन्दी: अपने एक्स को वापस पायें
my story: met a lousy guy on tinder who promised to pick the stars from the sky for me, we had a few dates and i have to advise all the women out there to be careful especially with guys who get affectionate,caring, and future-planning too soon because it’s a cheap hoax to get the woman into having sex and then dumping her cold-turkey.if they realise the woman won’t have sex with them(like me)they run off and find other ‘candidates’ to lie to.my guy ‘friend-zoned’me to keep me hanging on because he thought that maybe he could one day drag me into the sheets but i ended the whole thing on that creepy liar.additionally i caught him with a few other girls so please ladies:pay attention
I want to start off by saying thank you for adding a guys input Eric! My question is how do know if your inspiring him to be his best self and inspire him in his lifes mission if you dont know what that is? The guy im kind of seeing has only initiated deep conversation once and it was to ask what i thought about us. Am i supposed to ask him out right or am i supposed to try and figure it out all on my own?
Answer: Cut him loose. If you think that he’s cheating on you or is interested in someone else, don’t pursue him. If you take the time to step back and he doesn’t show any effort to reel you back in, then, either way, it wasn’t meant to be. If you think that he’s attracted to another woman, find someone who will be fully committed to loving you. [Read: Should you ever forgive a cheating partner?]

Hey Ryan, so me and my ex were together for about 1.5 years and things were pretty great... we had the occasional disagreement but for the most part we seemed to be a good match, we traveled out of the country for her first time, went horseback riding, on cruises left each other notes confirming our affection to one another even got back into the church together. Somewhere we hit a rough patch as het best friend of 9 years confessed his love and it caused friction between us because she was not sure what to do with those feelings and it constantly caused arguments because I told her to cut him off which she tried but eventually refused. Funny thing is her parents wanted me to marry her, me and her mom even picked out a ring... she had even gotten off of birth control and we were trying to have a kid but it didn't happen. Eventually we got into an argument about her best friend again and we broke up... now she's dating him and they travel together and seem inseparable. She would still come and see me without him knowing and she said she loved us both but didn't want to lose him but didn't know what to do because she loved me to... she felt as if she was in two relationships but ultimately began spending less time with me and more with him. She is a very pretty girl which makes it harder because she can have her pick of the litter biiut I really care for her and don't really know what to do.... she wanted to meet for a closure outing before moving on which I began no contact at that point and it's been about a week and I've heard nothing from her... not sure how to proceed at this point
Simply, wear your signature scent whenever you meet your boyfriend so that slowly he will start recognizing you with that smell. As much as possible, use the top quality brand of perfume, shampoo, or lotion. Just imagine yourself resting on his shoulder or chest, and leaving behind your beautiful scent on his body, this will leave him thinking about you every time he smells something even faintly similar.
You may want to actually have a good idea on what you’re talking about before making conclusions about people. One of the things Eric stresses in many of his articles is that a woman needs to be happy with her own life and love herself before she can truly be happy in a relationship. He also points out that if a woman is happy on her own, she will attract love and that it is then up to her to decide if a man is right for her. Kinda sounds like she’s the one in control of her own happiness. How is that sexist? In order to learn, you need to read the entire articles, not just pick out the parts that you can twist into being offensive. However, it’s quite clear that you have some serious anger issues towards men, in which case, how can you possibly expect to be in a happy relationship with one?
Forgot to add, we plan to see each other before the year ends. So around November, Part of me is like ok, dont talk until End of September and ease back in Oct/Nov until you guys see each other again. What this article said about friends and family is so true! I have nothing negative to say about my bf. They feel just because he broke up with me that he is supposed to me the enemy. "Forget him!" "Men are stupid" "Thats his loss, he couldnt man up!" "You deserve better" I hold no hate, only hurt & I accept my part in our demise. It literally made everything worse because i do not feel that way.

If you want him to miss you, if you want him to realize what he’s walked away from, then you need to make him realize what he’s given up and you’re not doing that, if you’re still giving him the goods after he’s ended the relationship. No, you need to think of it like this, if he broke up with you, then he broke up with all of the great benefits that being with you came with. If you think that letting him into your bed will help to make him miss you, then you’re wrong. The only thing happening after that is his respect for you depleting.

Instead of focusing on how much time he calls, spends time with you etc. Pay more attention at the QUALITY of your phone calls or time together. Is it good? Or are you in a rut? Or is he losing interest because you have nothing to talk about? When a relationship is in trouble, the first sign is the quality of the friendship and connection. Pay more attention to that, instead of the numbers. Trust me, if the connection is strong and the love is there, he will bounce back. But if the connection is lost over time, you need to figure out how to get it back instead of just “moving on” — that is YOU pulling away from this, too. Oh yeah, women can pull away too, basically by shunning the guy.

I've finally decided to calm down and stop pushing and go no contact and try to attract him back... but what I don't understand is....if he does come back ... how do people get trust back after something like that? How do people forgive their best friend and greatest supporter for suddenly dumping them and refusing to say why, even when they saw that not being given a reason was killing them? How do I ever feel safe with him again after that? How do I ever get over the really mean things he started saying during our post breakups fights, like that he might never see me again, or that his job and hobbies are more important to him than me? Even if he was just being mean I'll always wonder if he meant it now. How do I ever feel safe with him again when he watched me have a breakdown over our breakup and wasn't there for me and was still mean?

Avoid “hang out,” “go eat,” “Can I have your number?” – they are ambiguous and its not clear if it’s “just friends.” Instead “I’d like to take you out,” “Want to go on a date?”, “Can I call you?” These are all much better. Be clear and direct. I know, it’s taking a risk. She’s already not going out with you though . . . so whats the worst that could happen?
Make sure you want your ex boyfriend back for the right reasons. Are you really still in love with him? If so, it might be worth trying to get him back, by showing him you still care and that you believe things will be better this time. Sometimes breaking up provides time for both people to realize that, more than anything, they just want to be together again. However, if you have any other reason for wanting your ex back, reexamine whether it's a good idea to try to rekindle the relationship.
It’s confusing and it hurts. I heard what she said but it doesn’t feel like it’s really over. I’m doing my best not to read too much into it but I know I want her back and the only thing I can hope for is the chance to right my wrongs. Maybe there’s a chance, maybe there’s not. I’m not good at reading these things. But I think back to when me and my ex broke up and if I would’ve just left her alone, we would’ve gotten back together. I guess that’s the move with this girl. Give her the time and space she needs. I love her. She needs to be free and if she comes back, then it wasn’t meant to be. If not, so be it. Major L but what can I do?
Sometimes guys will think they have just fallen head over heals for someone else.  But sometimes the truth is that it’s not love, bit just pure sex.  So you may be wondering, how will I ever get my ex back if he is hooking up with some other girl.  Well, we are going to get into all that, but for now, just know that sometimes boyfriends will wander off either because they are lured away or that just have not yet learned that they are risking blowing up the good thing they have going with you.
HEY. I was dating him for almost 3 years. But after a year he met a girl who became her bff in a very short time. I was very jealous of their bond and dirty jokes etc. I stopped him from talking to her.i stopped him after 2 months of their friendship. But he used to miss her. Then for like rest kf 2 years we fought because he started talking to her without letting me know. I used to check his phone and he would have made other accounts to talk. Each time after getting caught he told me hes sorry. I used to breakup but he used to beg and tell me that he wont talk again. Then i started talking to him again. But the cycle continued. I abused the girl too but she used to say that its my boyfriend going back to her. But my boyfriend tried his best to leave her bff. He loved me a lot. Sometimes i used to do things to make him angry so in order to take revenge he talked to her. We are in the same school even his bff. Shes our junior. But my bf didnt met her in school their talk remained in online chating. But then then there was a group of my bf's friends and my friends. We all were friends but somehoe aur group broke up. We fought and his friends fucked up his mind. He fought with me. Yes i did for somethings which he would get hurt too but he then started meeting that girl. He brokeup with me. And this time he had no regret. He said that i made him do this. He added Snapchat stories to make me jealous. I was about to do suicide after that because i hated that girlll too much. Though the are justt friendss. And i cant do no contact periods because i can onlyy meet him after 3 days. No chance meeting after that.
Under these circumstances, she’s probably overwhelmed by her emotions which led her to react this way. You’ve already let her know that you need to take some time to grieve and process the breakup, and she needs to respect that. I don’t doubt that her actions were also caused by her feelings towards you which resulted in her getting upset that you didn’t want to talk to her. However, I think that given time she’ll start to cool down and should be a little more receptive when you reach out.
Make sure you want your ex boyfriend back for the right reasons. Are you really still in love with him? If so, it might be worth trying to get him back, by showing him you still care and that you believe things will be better this time. Sometimes breaking up provides time for both people to realize that, more than anything, they just want to be together again. However, if you have any other reason for wanting your ex back, reexamine whether it's a good idea to try to rekindle the relationship.
Kimberly Seltzer is a Makeover & Confidence Expert, Therapist and Dating Coach based in Los Angeles. She utilizes the unique combined use of therapy, in-field date coaching, NLP and styling to help people with their confidence and dating life. She is a regular contributor to the Huffington Post, DigitalRomance.com, WorldLifeStyle.com and YourTango and is featured in Cosmopolitan Magazine, AskMen, Fox News Magazine, Redbook and Yahoo Shine. Check out Kimberly’s site seltzerstyle.com.

If you and this man are only just dating (he’s not yet committed or even particularly emotionally attached to you) and he’s off somewhere and not returning your calls, and you send him this text saying “I am thinking about you I can’t forget you I remember every kiss” out of fear that ‘why isn’t he putting me FIRST?’ – then you’re not being vulnerable.


My ex and I of 4 years had only ever dated each other, neither of us ever dated anyone before we met eachother. I was always satisfied with this and I love her very much, I never saw the need to try new people because I was very happy with her. But 3 years into our relationship she told me she was scared of never experiencing anyone else, and at 4 years, she found herself attracted to one of her guy friends. She decided it would be best for us to break up so she and I could try new people, I believe this decision was also influenced by this friend of hers who is now her new boyfriend. Should I try to get her back or just let things play out as they will (the whole "if it's meant to be than it's meant to be" mentality)? Maybe this is best for the two of us, but at the same I love her a lot and planned on staying with her forever. I don't know if I should try to get her back, or just go out and experience new people and let the cards fall where they will with her and I.
Your man wants to know you appreciate him for who he is and what he brings to the relationship. If you love him, make sure he knows. Keep in mind Dr. John Gottman’s 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interchanges. For every one negative remark you make, try to think of five positive things to say, to counteract the negative effects of a critical word. Try carving out a few minutes each day before bed where you share with your partner what you appreciate about him and why.
If you harp on him and pester him to talk to you and open up he will see you as another source of stress in his life and will pull away even more. This creates a vicious cycle of you pushing him, him pulling back, you pushing more, and on and on until he either distances himself from you entirely or the relationship continues with an underlying tension. You can’t force someone to open up to you, especially when it comes to difficult emotional topics. You can invite them to open up, but you can’t badger them into it.
To think you can “make” someone want to be with you is illusory and will only lead to suffering and disappointment. The most important tip here is to be fully in the moment and truly OK with whatever the outcome is.  Let me reiterate that. Being OK no matter the outcome is the single most beneficial advice I can offer. Fixating on your ex, secretly wishing that he comes back to you, or worrying that you won’t be able to win him over will not be beneficial to you in the long run.
He broke up with me a week ago over the phone. We were together for 7 months and had a deep connection. I have not contacted him since. Yesterday I received a text from him explaining why he did it and apology. Pretty much he is not over his divorce, has health issues, dealing with work problems, trying to work on a relationship with his kids and now is not a good time and not fair to me to continue the relationship. Should I respond or keep no contact for 30 days? Or should I acknowledge the text and respond?
Males can sometimes have this tendency where we internalize our thoughts and emotions too much, that something may be bothering him but he never said it out, and in the end only acted upon his feelings without really giving you a chance to explain or understand what was going through his mind. Perhaps you could ask him and try to find out what it is, and whether its something that can be worked on together.

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He was my bestfriend for a while and then we found out that we actually love each other so we dated for a few months and then he told me that we should go back to being bestfriends to protect what we have because we can never be together or get married due to our religious beliefs.. when we started doing that he was already talking to another girl who follows the same religion as him and i got jealous and got into many fights with him about that .. that lasted for about 2 months and then he got sick from my craziness and told me that we should be just regular friends not even bestfriends and we shouldn’t text everyday or call each other unless there is something important.. that was about a month ago .. i begged him to become bestfriends again i talked alot and tried everything i could do but it was no use .. yesterday i talked to him about it again and he told me that being just friends is his final decision ans he won’t change his mind and i should act that way and just let it flow .. i hate the fact that he’s in control and that it was his decision to be just regular friends. Moreover, he and that other girl became really close I’m not sure if they are dating or not but i know that they talk and hang out alot .. we go to the same college so i see them together alot .. whenever he sees me he acts normal as regular friends .. what should i do to go back into being bestfriends again ? What should i do to win him back after he said that he already moved on? I’m not sure if the other girl is a rebound or everything between them is real also.

It is natural to feel scared about going up to someone who has rejected you. You may be worried that he won't talk to you, won't be friendly and perhaps won't answer any questions you may have. All of this is natural and normal. If you really want to approach him to ask him something, consider going with a friend you can rely on and perhaps having them doing some of the talking on your behalf. Choose somewhere neutral and calm, and have a good excuse to leave quickly if things seem too awkward for you, such as "Thanks for the quick chat, I have to get to an appointment now". Most of all, realize that if you don't get the answers or discussion you'd hoped for, that it's not a reflection on you, as you've shown much courage, but is about your ex-boyfriend's method of dealing with the situation in his own way and isn't a slur on you.
If you’re really digging this guy, you have probably completely lost yourself in your quest to make him your boyfriend. You keep your phone ringer turned on at all times so you never miss a call from him, you cancel on your friends if he asks you out last minute, and whenever he wants to see you, you clear out everything else that you have going on in your schedule just so you can spend time with him. You may think you’re just showing him how much you really like him, but honestly, you’re going about things the wrong way.
How do couples strike this tricky balance? By allowing each partner to have what he calls "separate sexuality," or a sex life that doesn't include (or betray) the other. "For him, that might mean allowing his wife to use sex toys or letting other men look at her," Dr. Kort says. "For her, it might be permitting him to watch pornography in order to experience a fantasy." Such indulgences help maintain the balance of desire and devotion for both parties, so talk to your partner outside of the bedroom and see if this is something one (or both of you) might be interested in.

Sometimes you can use social media to your advantage. One of the best ways to make a man miss you is by being independent. Let Mr. Right see this new, independent you via social media. Are you taking a cooking class or finally checking skydiving off your bucket list? Make sure you share it with your friends and that special someone. Do not fabricate elaborate, fake posts. Be you, be fun, and be authentic. He will want to be by your side for every new adventure. Guys want to make sure you have a life outside of him and what better way to show him this than by sharing your adventures with him, indirectly. If you’re on your phone constantly sending him images of all the fun you’re having it’s not going to be at all effective. Usually, when you’re having fun with your friends sending the guy in your life images isn’t something that should interest you because you’re busy doing you. So use your social media to update everyone of the fun you’re having and this will drive him crazy.
Don’t fall in love with your man for his potential.  You want to bond with someone as they are now.  Sure, all signs point to him becoming successful and hard-working, but what if something occurs, like illness or disability, that would prevent that from happening?  Would you still love him?  Your man is not your project, so make sure you pick someone who you love just the way he is.
One thing to look out for: If he's acting extremely jealous or policing your every move, you need to really reevaluate things. And never tell yourself, "He's a nice guy and has done nothing wrong, so I guess I should be with him." "That's convincing yourself of something that's probably not right," Trespicio says. Bottom line: Be in a relationship where you feel good when you're without him, but you feel even better with him.

Commitment is a funny thing. We allow our desire for it and other people’s promises of it, to blind and paralyze us from seeing and acting upon red/pink flags that are often, right in front of our face from the get-go. “How to get him to commit to a serious relationship,” is something I’ve Googled too many times to count. I ended up finding the answer through life-living, mistake-making, time-wasting decisions that sabotaged the chances of anyone ever wanting to commit to me in any regard.
If you really want your guy to finally commit to being in a relationship, you have to make commitment look like something that will be fun, light and carefree. No guy will agree to being in a relationship with a woman who is always sad, depressed and starting petty arguments with him. So every time the two of you hang out, make sure you’re doing something fun! A friendly bowling match, a round of miniature golf or checking out the latest movie are all fun date ideas that will keep your guy happy and with a smile on his face. Once he associates you with all things fun and easygoing, committing will no longer be something he dreads.
It doesn’t matter if right now, you’re sad about what has happened to you in the past, or maybe even angry that someone has done you wrong, it will all change in the future. You’re about to learn some of the most closely guarded secrets to help you succeed in dating and relationships with men. There are many articles on this website, but there are much more exclusive (not on the website) content inside my private newsletters. So join me.
The two authors actually broke up and got back together, and are sharing the wisdom they gained during the breakup period. I loved the authors' personal notes, and how they interject humor at just the right times. They are like our "best friends," who, because they care about us and want us to move forward (instead of sitting around, sad, depressed, and obsessing over the breakup), they share the details of their own painful break-up and the personal insight they acquired as a result. The vital decisions they each made about their lives during the breakup enabled them to come back together as better people, with a deeper understanding of themselves and what they each want/need in a relationship.
After our breakup she insisted that we stay friends. I agreed. I tried my best to be normal/casual/happy but every night after talking for 2-3 hours on call, i used to start asking her to try again to which she said no because she is very happy now and feels lighter. 2 weeks in and it had become too difficult for me to accept that she sees me as just a friend. I met up with her and told her that i have to walk away(total NC). We both cried and she told me she loves me and hopes “that we can be there for each other again when this is not between us”(I’m assuming she meant as friends).
Hey Chris! My boyfriend of 3 years recently broke up with me – one week ago, I have followed the no contact rule (surprisingly, I hadn’t read anything on it yet!). He ended the relationship out of the blue, we sometimes fought but it never seemed relationship ending bad (really it was petty things). He said he still loved me, otherwise breaking up wouldn’t hurt so bad. He had come late at night to tell me, we both sobbed, and I asked him to leave. The next day he came to take our cat for a spay, I went with him to drop her off and we went for a walk. I suggested a break instead, because he said he had been feeling a lot of emotions and initially taking all the blame. I expressed my side and apologized for my faults. It ended well and he even agreed to a break starting in may and lasting until June. I offered a mini date night for the day before may just to have a good time and start the break on a happy note. We went to dinner and had a good time, it was a little awkward but we stayed away from talking about the negative aspects of our struggles. I had picked him up so when I dropped him off he said he was sorry but he didn’t want a break, he wanted to breakup. He needed time to heal (from what I still wasn’t entirely sure of), and he needed “space”. Looking back the breakup was very cliche “it’s me not you” ( he said he was sorry for not communicating better and that I deserved someone who could give me what I want) but after I opened up and took responsibility for my actions, he suddenly put the blame on me! Him and my mom were close and after the breakup he confided in her and brought back issues I had never heard of FROM 6 MONTHS AGO! I have been devastated…. he did something similar( ghosted) with his last girlfriend, actually he moved to California and broke up with her over the phone after he was already gone). We had made plans to get married, we have the same career goals, he even gave me a rather expensive promise ring. I’m very lost with how to approach him after our 30 day no contact. P.S. I am very close with his family and vice versa (I even work with his sister!)…. I do plan to get your guide, but what advice can you give me for some insight into his mind, and whether our relationship has a chance of being saved?
However, something I’ve noticed men despise about their dates—it’s when their date expects them to pay for the meal, because they’re male. This doesn’t just pull them away, it turns them off. This problem manifests itself if they feel like you haven’t appreciated their efforts. Don’t be that girl. The first impression you give is usually the only impression you’re remembered for, especially if it doesn’t get past the first date. Most men aren’t so keen to fund the lifestyle of someone they’re not sure what their intentions are: “What exactly does she want me for me?” Or, “Is she only after me for my money?”
I believe very strongly that outside influences have some bearing on the breakups. For example money problems, problems at work , health problems, etc. I believe these contribute to the breakdown of the relationship. If we don't deliberately pay attention and put your loved one first. Then your are heading down a real steep hill and soon you will fall off the cliff.

since 3 months we know each other..after a big conflict and feeling suffocated by me ..he has his own work related and family issues which I dint know earlier and I always kept him accusing n blaming for why is he ignoring me..but he has always been very polite inspite of my anger n anxiety..he needs space and told me he loves me and will call me back..just a second day
My boyfriend for 4 months started calling and texting less as of the second week of January. It is true that he had some successive things happening one after the other which also prevented us for meeting since the new years eve. But despite that I let him know that I wasn’t happy with his careless behaviour. By the third week of January the date of his thesis submission approached and it just got worse. As I got bady ill for 4 days and he didn’t even get briefed because he did not ask how I was although he kept the conversation, I exploded on him and told him aaaalll I felt and went through and how he was absent when I needed him. My message just stayed unread on purpose till the morning and he tried to start a new normal conversation as usual like nothing happened. I was pissed off so I answered short, late, and tough. He stopped talking and by the time I cooled down he was already shut off. I ended up keeping the conversation somehow as he stopped initiating. By the following weekend I was near his area and we were talking so I asked if he feels like going out having some air. He made an excuse and I just headed home. We talked less and less through the following week, by thursday night we had a light chat and I asked how he was, he said that he was very tired and unhappy. As I asked why, is it going bad at work, my message just stayed unread till the morning. It was Friday 9 Feb. And he was quite responsive through the day, so I asked to meet and as he kept making excuses related to work, I just pushed more. So he just stopped responding to my messages and calls. Yes I know I did aaaall kinds of the things to avoid in these situations but I could not help but to see and understand what was happening to him that he had to express his unhappiness. After this incident I just disappeared too until valentine’s day at around 10 pm. I sent a brief apology message for my harsh words and putting the blame on him (when I exploded on him) while he was already having a hard time by himself. I wished him good luck with his upcoming thesis presentation (16 Feb) and wished him that he would never tell anybody again that he is tired and unhappy as he said to me the week before. I got an answer for this message that I was a wonderful girl and very understanding and I have nothing to apologise for and thanks for the good wishes and that I deserve the best and he hopes I will find what I deserve.
“Women are open. They believe, they subscribe, and they go all in. They will do what it takes to meet the man of their dreams and put themselves out there,” says professional matchmaker, Susan Trombetti.  “They are more social, they are happy a lot of the times, and in this generation of women, they are the best version of themselves: educated, great friends, independent, great careers, and great family. They have a lot to offer someone.”
The aim of becoming a better a person is first and foremost aimed towards yourself before anything, and you should develop a mindset where you're okay (emotionally) with whatever happens down the road. As long as you've sincerely worked on yourself and made changes, it would most likely reflect in your actions and behavior when reaching out to her, which in turn is supposed to attract her towards this new 'you' naturally.
Many articles also suggest playing mind games and using pride/ego to win the person back, but honestly, these are all extremely unhealthy habits and qualities that should be avoided when going into a relationship. It's true that since he broke up with you, and it may seem weak to be the one to reach out, but by waiting, you could honestly end up doing so indefinitely. Think about what you want at the end of the day, and I always believe that we should fight for what we want. If you genuinely want him back, it would be best to put pride and ego aside, doesn't matter who broke up with who, and just sincerely fight for him (not in a desperate and overbearing way of course) following our guidelines to reach out.
Dear Lauren, My ex broke up with me about 3 weeks ago and I just started no contact about a week ago. We were dating over 3 years. I have a college class with her and ironically sit next to her. How do I continue no contact when I see her everyday? The night before she decided to move out she told me she wanted us. The next night she went out after work and told me we were done, and she never came home. We had been living together for over a year now and finally moved into our own place. I'm pretty sure she slept with a guy she had been casually seeing from work the night before she never came home. I know she slept with him and I know we are over but I was her only sexual partner ever. How do I get her to see the good times we had and miss me? I really want her back and think we can be stronger than ever. ...
Most people think small because they’re afraid of success, afraid of making decisions, afraid of winning. Deciding you want to have the best relationship of your life gives you an advantage over people just playing around with casual dating or waiting for “fate” to plop someone in their lap. Women love a man who knows what he wants and goes after it.
Reason #1. You are surprised, angry, sad, hurt and feeling rejected. These symptoms are classical grief symptoms. If your boyfriend had died, it would be impossible to get him back, and it would not be his fault that you are grieving. But now that he is out there alive and well, it is his fault. It is a decision he has made. He made it for a good reason. Your relationship was not working. Why would you want your relationship back if it wasn't working? Why would you want an ex back who doesn't want you? Treat it like a case of grief that you need to get over rather than trying to get back together with your ex.

The key to succeeding in this very first step is keeping your emotions in check. This is usually easier said than done, especially after a breakup when our emotions are usually running wild! When you miss your ex, it’s easy to let emotions and longing take hold, causing you to reach out to him in an attempt to stay on his mind, or maybe to reignite the spark.
This is the same article ,same exact wording they they tell guys I find it b.s just switching the word him to her. Guys like to be chased unless they found someone they like more and if they like them back . Then they don’t really care what you do I’m assuming girls are the same. It’s a sad world chase catch get bored and release I find this more common for women to get bored and move on. Or cheat and stay in the relationship and keep cheating on the side . They stay married or with someone for benefits of the man’s provisions
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