I didn’t react well initially. I broke every rule. But after a couple days of it, I pulled myself together Accepted our fate. After his therapy he said it went well and has a lot to work on but he thinks after the session it’s best if we don’t communicate for a while. I finally went against the instinct to cry and such and I said “absolutely. Take care of yourself. Bye.” Then I blocked him. Someone told me not to because it shows I care but I had to so I’m not constantly wondering if he’s going to text or call or if I will. I want to make sure it’s cut. He initiated it yesterday (which sucks for me, does that decrease my chances of success?) initially i said we shouldn’t talk then we did and now I am going to keep my no contact. I won’t contact him. I’m going to do something this weekend, I’m also going to start Pilates. I’m going to focus all my energy on being the most independent happy sexy person. I want to love myself so much that he sees how much self love and growth and wants me back. Not even that I want to take him back after this trauma. I just don’t know if it will work. He still has my things and I asked for them back initially but he seemed to divert it. I’m not going to ask again and I’m going to abstain from social media. I just want to know the likely hood of this kind of circumstance and success especially when nothing specifically went wrong.
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Typically, men love to see their woman as a prize that they need to work for. They see the woman that they choose to be with as an accomplishment and as someone that took work to earn. It might sound a little silly but it’s true. Men love to know a woman has a mind of her own, is confident, and isn’t easy to get. So, men pull away when women get too clingy. Do not start canceling all your plans to be available to him every day all day.
I’ve been dating this guy for about 6 weeks or so. Yes, early days I know, but we have passed a lot of these things. I’ve met his brother, his casual friends and a lot of his close friends. Natural since we’ve known each other for 8 years really. Anyway I feel like I’ve ruined something great. We try and have a date a week, very casual ones though, we feel good around each other, talk is easy, we support each other, have some similar interests and hobbies, and the sex is great. It was only how one date night he was sick and I organised an easy night at his where I would bring over dinner, watch a movie and just hang out. He told me he wasn’t up to it and wanted some alone time. I get that. I have those days too. I also get that plans come up and that if there is a friend you can only see once in a blue moon then you take it. But, does it have to be the same night? Do I have to find out through a third person that he went to a party while sick on the night he wanted to be alone? Now in past relationships I’ve done the bad thing, let these things slide, hurt me and reward them for it; but I didn’t want to do that. I messaged him today – not trusting my voice – with something along the lines of ‘since you believe in honesty is the best policy, next time tell me alone time just means time with anyone but me.’ I told him I’ve been in that type of relationship before and I was really hurt by it. He said he understood and it was inconsiderate before slipping in the whole thing of ‘personally, i’m not looking for a serious relationship right now.’. Ok, I get that. Just shy of two months dating (even though we’ve known each other for 8 years) and we are young! We are only 22. I agreed with him but he also knows that down the line those feelings on my end might change. I also said that if they change for him to let me know since I don’t want to get hurt and I don’t want him to be either. I’ve been in the whole one sided relationship before and the guy really hurt me in that situation. I feel like I’ve ruined it by telling him how I feel since he just slipped in that line and it just felt like another blow. I like this guy, I could see a potential relationship in the future but I’m just scared that even though I said I don’t want a label that he thinks that since i added that months down the line that could change. When that time comes I’m just wondering how to reach him to move from just casual dating to a proper relationship.

A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...


Me any ex dated for over a year. He recently stopped communicating with me about four months ago. He will not give me a reason to his decision. I’ve begged and pleaded the last four months. He responds periodically but will not answer directly if he has broken up with me. My question is simply “are we done” “are we not dating anymore” etc. he never responds to those questions of why but if I say good morning or something general he will respond (sometimes) but takes hours to do so. I’ve just recently started to use the no contact rule, since yesterday. I do desire to be with him but I’m so emotional and I think I need to get myself together and calm down. I imagine he has started a relationship with someone else but he won’t answer that question either. Do you think it’s a chance after the 30 days that this situation has a chance? I will with all my might not contact him and work on being stronger regardless if we rekindle or not. Our relationship was good, not strong though we’ve never had major issues I do realize the lack of communication with each other if there were issues. What are your suggestions to this? Thank you
Hi I met this girl at work and we started dating for like 6 months she said she love me so much and she feels so comfortable and very happy with me and I felt the same way too, everything about us was good. We planned of living together and our future too, suddenly I just knew that she has a boyfriend for almost 3 years now. Few days ago she told me that she don’t wanna continue dating me bcos of her boyfriend. I really don’t know what to do at this time I really love her. I wanna know what should I do in this kind of situation?
My ex and I broke up a few days ago because he said with him working and not being able to see me as much that he couldn't show me the respect he wanted but he still has stong feelings for me. We agreed to wait about 3-4 weeks to see how his work schedule is going and if it'll be good for us to get back together. But I'm still confused on what to do in that time.
Me and my girl were together for a 1 month but not officially. We both say “I love you”, we cuddled, hug, kiss, go out together, everything does like it is relationship kind a thing. At first all things were fine but there are some imperfections and flaws of mine, like not giving her enough attention, not communicating about our needs and wants, and acting like a jerk sometimes that she accepts it at first because she loves me. But things get out of control, I repeatedly started those things she doesn’t want me to do again. I screwed things up over and over again, she gets really angry and said i was too immature of my age, btw i’m 19 yo and she is 18. At the end of the month she started to act cold and i am comforting why did she acted like that she told me that she didn’t like my behaviour and got turned off by how i act, she even felt sorry for getint tired of us because of my behaviour. Then she reason out why it came at end then i went nuts, begging, pleasing, that i am gonna fix it right away and begging her to stay. I got no reply. Should i pursue her? Or move on and improve myself?
He would definitely like the 'new' you because he gets to have sex with you but doesn't have to deal with the emotional aspect that would follow from a typical relationship, and you would also end up becoming a safe zone to run to whenever he has issues with his current girlfriend. Keep in mind that this 'new' you isn't a permanent one, and I would strongly recommend not lowering your standards anymore by simply giving him whatever he wants and being emotionally there for him all the time while he is still with someone else and can't fully commit back to you.
I soon learnt from my hypocritical ways and started to make an effort in my appearance and I actually felt better for it and had a lot more confident. Being attractive doesn’t just mean what you look like on the outside however; it is also an emotional trait too. A woman who is independent and confident is attractive to men, jealousy and dependency is not.
Hi Lauren... Please please help me My ex broke up with me three weeks ago. After the break up I begged him for two days. Then I did no contact for a week and tried to reconcile which lead to me begging again for two days when he said no. So now I have done a no contact for two weeks . He hasn't been in touch with me since. I am worried he may never get in touch again. It is a long distance relationship and difficult to go and see him anytime. Why did we break up? We argued about something...he ignored me for few days then when we spoke I basically shouted at him for ignoring me we then got into a massive row and said things back and forth which resulted in him saying 'I can't do this anymore it's over,' Lauren, we had broken up before and it took us six months to get back together because in that six months we were both going back and forth, when he was ignoring me I wasn't and when I was ignoring him he wasn't, we went back and forth like this for a while until eventually we both just kissed and made up and it was all good for a month until the next row. I feel that when we are together we never argue but when we talk on the phone we argue. I explained this to him, but he doesn't seem to listen or care about how good we are and does not wanna work on this relationship anymore. Please advise what I can do.... ...

It’s pretty widely known that when a man is stressed, he retreats to his “man cave.” However, there is a big difference between knowing something and really understanding it. Most women have a hard time accepting that this is how men deal with issues because when we are having a difficult time, our first instinct is to talk about it and seek comfort from friends or loved ones.

Trust in your instinct. If something doesn't feel right, try not to force it. If you text or call him and he doesn't return your message, then resist the urge to contact him again. I know it can be very frustrating when this happens, but never see it as a reflection of who you are. It just means this person has not seen the true value in you and you deserve far better than that. We all do.
My girlfriend of almost a year broke up with me this week. I told her that I didn't want it but if that's what she wanted then she should go ahead. She wanted me to break up with her but I didn't want to because obviously, I want to be with her. We've been fighting for as long as I could remember. I know for sure that it's a trust issue and pretty sure this also lead to her losing respect for me. This isn't the first time we broke up so prior to this website, I've read multiple ones concerning how to get my ex back in the course of at least 5-6 months already. So I did what I know best right away and that's to not contact her. Her last message to me was that I should text her if I want to see her and talk in person. It's her offering me a closure conversation. As of now, I'm blocked from social media including Facebook messenger. I was needy in the relationship, I would always cry and beg. I would do everything for her and let her walk all over me. She would say the meanest things without a pause and I would just openly accept them because I blame myself for everything that's wrong in the relationship. She would start fights and always bring up past mistakes. I wasn't a bum in the relationship. I gave her all the attention that I could give, I put in effort and partly I think I've given too much and I was always available and thus lessening my value to her. I want to get her back. Please help. I'm hopeful to having another start with her but if I try everything and it doesn't work. I would gladly accept the break-up and happily move on. Thank you!
Don’t make him a priority. Instead of carrying on with your life as normal, you decide to make him the center of your universe. You cancel plans with your friends to hang out with him, you change your Facebook relationship status, you even daydream about what he’d look like in a tux on our wedding day. This is all so very wrong. It’s still the very early stages, so he shouldn’t automatically earn a top spot in your life—at least not for a while yet.
"While there are two sides to every story, there are often a few factors that are highlighted within a breakup," says sexologist Megan Stubbs. "What makes this time different than the time before? And how will you communicate that to your partner in a way that might make them open to a second chance?" Try to be as neutral as possible in your recollections. Seeing your part in a breakup can help you figure out whether it's a good idea to give things a second shot.
My first boyfriend actually hated himself and was suicidal, and no matter what I did to support him and how much I loved him, I couldn’t actually make him love himself. And to be honest it ended up affecting me too and with other life circumstances (friendsh*ts, bad relationship with my mom at the time) I got so depressed myself that I also had suicidal thoughts. It was horrible. And it`s been some time and things have changed for me, but I just wanted to say I`ve both seen and learned myself the importance of self love and being committed to ourselves!

My ex and I were together for 7 years. In the first year, he looked at some messages and caught me messing around. But i was a kid (19) and we moved past it, it meant nothing. we've been so happy since then, and i never fooled around ever again. i fell in love with my boyfriend so hard. fast forward 6 years to now, he randomly looked at my chat with a friend while we were in a fight (i know hes never done this, not sure what prompted him to do it this time. everything happens for a reason tho bc this was the first time i had some scandalous stuff in my messages.) my messages showed my recent dumb move, i was pulling this crazy long trick on a friend (it spiraled out of control, i lied about details etc...) saying i was cheating when i wasnt. the lies were elaborate and stupid, where i talked about hooking up with someone when i havent even looked in anyone else's direction in reality. (it's silly i know, but my therapist said it has a lot to do with the meds i was on for adhd recently.) anyways, my boyfriend saw this stuff, and told me i have serious issues and that he cant trust me anymore. has told me to get lost for life. doesnt even wanna talk about it. hes oddly very calm and has told me he wont be changing his mind, this is the end and i should really move on because he is well on his way. we broke up and i did everything based on my emotions, send texts, emails, letters, and begged at his place. he told me if i dont stop he's gonna call the cops, and that none of my crying or begging has any effect on him anymore. he says he thought about what happened and he deserves better and wants to move on. ive been getting help and i really would do anything to have him back. i sent a final 8 pg letter yesterday explaining that i am not a cheater, or a liar, or crazy, and that im getting therapy and making changes in my life, and that i would like to speak to him again when i am better. he texted me saying, "good for you. i hope you make changes and i know you will make someone else happy in this life once u do that. im not changing my mind unfortunately, i wish you nothing but the best, please move on." it broke my heart. we are good together. i don't know how he easily moved on so quick, but we both know he can. he's a mature, principaled man. i'd like to do NC, but I dont want him to move on for good during NC. i know he's trying to cut me out of his life bc he's done with me. but i dont want to lose him forever. hes the love of my life. He loved me and treated me amazing. what do you think i should do?


Someone who's been acting this way obviously has something to hide. I don't recommend wasting your time, since he won't give you anything to go on and does not want to deal with any emotional topics and only makes casual small talk with you. He's supposed to be your partner, but if he's acting this way, you should move on too and not allow yourself to go through this emotional trauma and uncertainty.
Me and my ex bf broke up due to age issue. He was not aware that I am elder than him. The very day he came to know he broke up with me.He used to love me a lot and we decided to marry also.After break up we were very much in touch with each other. I pleaded him, begged him for 6 months but it was of no use. Finally I have decided to go for NO contact rule. I feel he is involved with some other girl now. I still love him and want to get him back in my life.
I am currently in 'no contact' - I haven't spoken to my ex boyfriend since the break-up, which was about three weeks ago. Our relationship was incredibly close: we were together for two years, we had exchanged promise rings and often talked about our future (marriage, etc.)... I love him so much. He is a genuinely lovely, altruistic and romantic guy and we share so much in common, in terms of interests and values. He used to say I made him so happy, content and that I was his best friend, as well as his girlfriend.

Me and my ex bf broke up due to age issue. He was not aware that I am elder than him. The very day he came to know he broke up with me.He used to love me a lot and we decided to marry also.After break up we were very much in touch with each other. I pleaded him, begged him for 6 months but it was of no use. Finally I have decided to go for NO contact rule. I feel he is involved with some other girl now. I still love him and want to get him back in my life.
The way you communicate with her via text and in calls will need to change. Given that you’re in a breakup you’ve probably been doing it completely wrong, replying instantly to her messages even though she takes hours to get back to you. This has to stop, and you need to start communicating in a more attractive way, after the no contact period. That’s why I’m going to teach you how to get your ex-girlfriend back fast by text message, although be aware, texts are only part of it.
My girlfriend of 2 years dumped me in August 24th, basically because we had no communication. I didn't make the mistakes and give her space. Two weeks ago she text me saying she misses my dog and ask to see him. She keeps texting me bringing some dramas as well, but I'm not reacting at all (maybe because I don't care). The fact is, I still want her back, I just find It's hard to contact her because she is already contact me. I feel like she's testing me. What can I do? ps: I'm in 40 days of no contact
One thing that you always need to keep in mind is that you shouldn’t go looking for your old relationship in the new guy. If you keep on looking for similarities, then you will end up with someone who is completely like your ex. This is definitely not going to work in your favor. Instead of this, you should look for qualities that you would like your ideal boyfriend to have.
Three weeks ago I had birthday and he said he would celebrate with me. Last minute he cancelled due to work so I was very upset:( After that I asked him to not communicate with me because I am angry at him. We went quite for a weeks and later started being in touch but since that time he’s contact me is much less frequent and he never calls me – just text. But he still writes that he loves me so much and he misses me!! I do not understand his behavior… Please tell me what you think…
Because something about your behavior is making her feel as if you are not really committed to her. She feels that, although she’s attracted to you, you won’t give her what she wants and needs from a relationship (i.e. support her, and not keep chasing other girls). This is completely different from a situation where you’re trying to get a girl back when she has moved on.
Based on what you’re saying, it doesn’t sound like there’s a good chance at this point of reconciliation due to his negative impression of you. I suggest giving him this year to do no contact and picking yourself up, since you will definitely still see him again when he gets back from his studies abroad. Spend this time working on your issues, so that when you cross paths again, you’d be a different person from who you were a year ago, and which may lead to easier chances of re-igniting the relationship romance.
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