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While intimacy and post-sex cuddling can be wonderful for many men, sometimes a little "throw-me-down sex" is exactly what they want, plain and simple. "Men want their wives to enjoy raw sex, not just endure it or take it personally," says Joe Kort, Ph.D, a psychotherapist and sexologist in Royal Oak, Michigan. "It's not [always] about dominating a woman, but rather ravishing her." On occasion, don't be afraid to let him do just that. (So long as it's something you're comfortable with, of course.)
Rachel, I’m a lot older than you. I’ve been through serious relationships, local and long distance. Bottom line, long distance doesn’t work. It’s not a relationship. I would say the only exception to this is if you’re already truly married, nothing else is wrong, and one of you has to travel for work. Still, that can only be temporary – the two of you have to reunite, want to reunite, and it happens.
Anyways, we went on a date. Which snowballed into many dates and nights spent together. I was falling in love hard and fast. It seemed so mutual, until my birthday. I suggested we spend it together to which he replied he’d take me out for dinner! (Days beforehand we changed the dinner date to the day *after* my bday & spent my actual bday in bed watching movies.)
When you take a relationship that is brand new and start thinking that it’s something, or forcing it to be more than it is, it’s game over. Your vibe will become man repelling and before long, he’ll be gone and you will be left baffled, analyzing what exactly you did to drive him away. But you won’t ever find the answer, because it isn’t concrete and measurable.

First off, before I tell you what happened, I would like to point out that my recent ex-girlfriend and I are both college students. She is a freshman, and I am a junior, with a two-year age gap as well. I reside on-campus, and when she broke up with me, she did it in my dorm after cuddling me. When she broke up with me, she cried, and I knew that she was struggling to really go through with the decision. However, she still broke up with me in the end. I know why it happened and that it does have to do with the fact that we need to work on ourselves and we are both a bit insecure. I know that I was clingy and pushed her away due to my insecurities. I also know that I have said that I will keep positive and try to work on myself, and I am still going to do that. However, I just want to be really honest with what exactly went down immediately following the breakup.
Me (34y) and my boyfriend (37y) went on a break after a 2y relationship , the first year was almost long distance ( 4-5h drive). We have been through arguments for the last months and I was expecting him a marriage proposal since I had mentioned my goal of dating and he has told he has been looking for the same thing. within these 2 years I have visited his relatives and hanging out with our friends and my family ( his parents are not in the same country). in our last conversation about a month ago and before the break, he said our intimacy and closeness has become less than it used to be and this makes him worried about the future life. after we agreed to go on a break over a text, we did not argue about the time and any rules. after a week I asked him to talk over the phone and suggesting that we can work on our relationship and ask help from couple therapists. He agreed somehow but also told he needs to think more. after 2 weeks and not hearing from him, I texted him and suggesting an end date. he told he would call me within a week but he did not. He texted me back and apologized and asked that he needed more days. I am confused and do not know what to do. I am surprised that he does not miss me? if we were in an argument or not a happy condition, he would have never stopped texting me before. it has been now a month of break and I just had texted him a couple of times within the first 2 weeks. I understand that he needs the space and need to work on his decisions. his birthday would be in a couple of days and I do not know what to do and I can not predict our future and if it is really a break our a breakup!
my guy also told me we shall be good friends and after that he started to ‘bench’me..i caught him online 24/7 on all the social media channels,you see: somebody who changes a relationship into a friendship is suspicious enough and under the pretense of a ‘friendship’ he wants to end the whole thing, at least your guy is not responding to your messages at all, because my guy did respond every once in a while and every time we wanted to meet up he was ‘sick’ until i ended the whole thing
If your guy is taking his time with asking you to be his girlfriend, a simple way you can speed things along is to already play the part of the woman in his life. Now, you don’t want to go overboard with this trick, because if done incorrectly, you can definitely scare the guy off. Instead of coming on strong and being in his face 24/7, subtly integrate yourself into his life so that he can’t imagine his life without you.
Most girls are attracted to the alpha male for deep biological reasons: They believe he can provide for them better, protect them better, and give her biologically fit children. Even if you don't think that alpha males are your ex's type, subtle changes might work on her: pump out your chest a bit, make an effort to work out your arms and thighs, and project strength.
One question. During this time of me really focusing on myself and trying to understand our situation better. Would it be wise the next time we talk face to face to discuss our future relationship (If we decide to be together again) to mention why things went so wrong in the last one and see if we're willing to set boundaries to not make those mistakes again? A little more insight into our relationship issues. So when we first met he still had a girlfriend. It honestly got under my skin all throughout the relationship because we were Long distance and he never really gave me a clear timeline of when they truly broke up and when we started talking. It made me insecure most of the relationship because early on in the relationship he'd go hours without talking to me. I went through his phone and saw he had met up with her claiming to console her because she was depressed/suicidal. Etc. I should have never got with him until I was comfortable, I realize that now. We started on the wrong foot. Then a series of events where he posted another girl on his page (He deleted it after I told him I didnt feel comfortable, he had no pics of me on his page), confused me with the same girl, and went out with friends with the girl. All without properly communicating with me. I had no issue with him having female friends but his communication about his friends was off. So the Trust and communication really needed work. It was so hard because we were in an LDR. He didnt know how to maintain, honestly. Overall he was a wonderful guy, he just wasnt the greatest at communication when we were apart. Together he was perfect. I felt in the loop. He started to make changes toward the middle/end of the last year of the relationship. So I know he's capable. I dont want to keep bringing up the past but I want to make sure this go around the boundaries are clearer. He broke up with me but I knew the end was near. We both had a lot to work on.
Gay couples are always paranoid when it comes to holding hands in public. It’s getting better (thank God) but there are still days when we get so anxious that we fail to see how it affects our partners. Having a lover refuse to hold our hand in public can be devastating and traumatic. It’s just not fair. Find moments where you literally give zero f**ks! Grab his hand proudly, kiss him boldly, and let him know that what society may or may not think matters very little to you.
It is necessary that you make your presence felt and should not become dormant. You should not at all indulge in verbal or physical abuse. You need to make yourself a little strong and be the voice of reason when the situation is chaotic. Be calm and listen to all that he has  to say and offer all that will help the situation, even if it is simply sympathy that you can offer.
1. It stops the damage. If you respond with calm and poise when your ex breaks up with you, you let the relationship stand on its own instead of giving the response to the break up a featured status. And your odds of an ex coming back to you with the relationship itself being what is judged is much higher than the final experience with you being your fit.
I know that what this article writes it’s true. At the same time, do I really want a person with which I have to lie about my true feelings? I am very intense, passionate, and so talk a lot about what so feel and what ai think. I feel hurt of I am not in his priorities, if he never calls me or if he says he is not sure of what he wants. Of course it would be better for the lenght of the relationship stay quiet and wait. But would I feel really fullfilled and loved just tolerating?
Adam, can you, please, respond shortly to us, the ones we posted replies in here? At least a quick guidance about what you think the missing point of the big picture is in each of us situations! I don’t want to post a reply again on you tube. I just bought your book and another program, but until I will have the time to go through the entire thing and figure myself out WHERE I did wrong/or WHERE HE doesn’t pick up the pace, I could really use your educated smell that says it as it is! My guy is at work every time I run into him…he is Police, yeah, Mr. Police, but he is NOT ashamed to squeeze his head after me though, he just wanna make sure I don’t see him lately after he pulled off…so I don’t think he is not making the move bc the “work thing”….am I missing anything?
Hi. We broke up with my girl friend 1 and a half months ago. Since then I did no contact and then sent her a letter suggesting that I support her decision and all that. After a month and a week I went to her country for a surprise visit she was shocked but at the same time flattered. I kept it really cool, told her that I am not there to ask her to come back. Then we started talking and everything and after few hours we started hugging holding hands kissing. Two days went by like this. It was perfect. After I came back we kept in touch and decided to move slowly. Now we talk everyday again. However she said she had to tell me about this guy she went on a date with. Nothing happened but they did keep in touch. She told me she liked him in the beginning but now she knows it was because she was scared to be alone. But then the next day I opened the subject again and she revealed more about the situation. That they made plans to meet and stuff. And now she says she wont be sure until she sees him again and decides that she actually has nothing for him. I kept it cool again and said it is better if we stop talking for a while because I wanted both of us to have time to think but she insisted we keep talking. We changed subject afterwards and everything was great. She was talking about going on to a date and at one point she mistakenly called me her boyfriend which we joked about. Right now it is going good. But I dont want her to get confused because of this guy. What is the best course I can follow? I really need help on this. Thank you.
First off, before I tell you what happened, I would like to point out that my recent ex-girlfriend and I are both college students. She is a freshman, and I am a junior, with a two-year age gap as well. I reside on-campus, and when she broke up with me, she did it in my dorm after cuddling me. When she broke up with me, she cried, and I knew that she was struggling to really go through with the decision. However, she still broke up with me in the end. I know why it happened and that it does have to do with the fact that we need to work on ourselves and we are both a bit insecure. I know that I was clingy and pushed her away due to my insecurities. I also know that I have said that I will keep positive and try to work on myself, and I am still going to do that. However, I just want to be really honest with what exactly went down immediately following the breakup.

4. We are sad. And yes, men pull away when we are being sad or feeling down for some reason. We are waiting for you to come and ask “what’s wrong” and give us a hug. But if you don’t come we pull away even more. And more. And more until you come or we end up feeling that you don’t care about us. Men love empathic and loving womens. Even when we don’t admit it. Even most strongest alpha male wants to feel loved and cared when he feels weak and if you show us that you care we will love you forever. Seriously this isn’t a lie. Most simplest way to make a man stay true to you or love you is just to make him feel cared. Give him a hug when he needs it, tell him sometimes he still looks handsome and cool even when he’s getting older etc. I know that there is douchebags who will betray you no matter what you do or leave you, but real men want the same thing you do: to have that one loving partner in their life who makes them feel cared and loved every day.
He says that he was not comfortable being at his trueself with me. we were in a relationship for 3 years and now he says this.He's way too inconsistent about his thoughts and gives a list of reasons for the break up and he wants to be only FRIEDS with me at least for a while. it's been almost 4 months since we broke up, I've been pleading him all this while and today I decided to Start No Contact period for at least 2 - 3 months until December. Kindly help me in getting him back. I'm very much serious about this guy.Also please Suggest me if i'm doing it right.
What I dislike about the article is that it really does not give any insight on how we can actually show the man that we were hurt and neglected. Would men like it if we had a come-and-go attitude? Is it too much to ask to think about the other person before disappearing? I don’t get it why we should be so bothered to not show our feelings, I doubt that a man would be more committed and less neglectful if after days he disappeared we would be like “oh I’m do glad I’m hearing back from you” as if everything is just fine. How convenient. It might give him the impression you had no problem with the whole thing while, while you did. Now let me ask you something personal since you are a dude, what about a man that does not text for 10 days while you had established daily or every two days fb messenger communication – while he gets online everyday and has liked another girl’s photo in the meantime. No, the girl was not a friend. I got really pissed off that he never talked to me for so long especially because of that and I told him. I disconnected and I do regret the whole situation. Just so you have the background, he was a guy I was seeing last year, we were together for about 3 months and when he sensed it was time to be official he just bailed out due to his personal problems-and indeed he was not at his best. He also quickly became distant and I blocked him with no explanation (I don’t take it that he would appear and disappear to taste) and then when I was calmer I unblocked him (did not reconnect though) and I explained myself. After another half year he texted me that he felt e distant too and reconnected with me and we had a daily communication pattern but we had not talked on where we stand which also bothered me.
Stopping communications with your ex is absolutely imperative because you are going to become a happier and a more attractive person during this step. Remember all the negative traits we talked about in step 1? You have to get rid of all those traits. Think of it as trying to seduce someone new. You have to be confident, calm, relaxed, happy and a fun person to be considered attractive.

I hope you enjoyed this post and can take away a lot of helpful tips and advice for your current and future relationships! If you have any comments, questions, or any more tips of your own, please comment below and share them! I’m sure many of our experts will be more than happy to respond back and keep the conversation going! Also, if you love articles like this, sign up for our Elite Man Newsletter and get all of our best articles, podcasts, tips, and advice completely free!
Hi, I need some major help. I am 46 and found the woman of my dreams. Our relationship was great, but all of the sudden out of the blue she said that "she loves me, but is not in love with me". I knew this was not the case by her actions, she was very loving, intimate, and by how she looked at me. that was on a Tuesday. I kept in contact with her for a couple days and found out that she was not in the same place I was in the relationship. She said that she felt nervous and rushed into the relationship and was not ready to take it to the next step. On Thursday, she broke it off with me and said she needed time to to think. Well, I was stupid and kept sending her messages and trying to talk to her because it was just such a shock to me, I was having a very hard time understanding. On Saturday, she blocked all my accounts and said she would contact me "If and when she was ready". I have NO CLUE what to do now. Obviously there will not be any other contact unless she initiates it. I know I have to do the no contact now, but is it too late? Is there anything I can do to fix this? She gave me a whole 48 hours after the breakup to calm down and understand and give her the space she needs. PLEASE HELP!!
I've finally decided to calm down and stop pushing and go no contact and try to attract him back... but what I don't understand is....if he does come back ... how do people get trust back after something like that? How do people forgive their best friend and greatest supporter for suddenly dumping them and refusing to say why, even when they saw that not being given a reason was killing them? How do I ever feel safe with him again after that? How do I ever get over the really mean things he started saying during our post breakups fights, like that he might never see me again, or that his job and hobbies are more important to him than me? Even if he was just being mean I'll always wonder if he meant it now. How do I ever feel safe with him again when he watched me have a breakdown over our breakup and wasn't there for me and was still mean?
So me and my ex were together two years ago (long distance) we broke up & (we have children together also) we spoke on getting back tougher but his job took him overseas for about a year so fast forward things were seeming like err been on the right track .. we spoke on vacations, plans & etc … than after a weekend together he says he really thought about it but he don’t think we will work out because we are two different people … he never said he wasn’t in love with me but that he is vegan i’m Not & that he wants to move to a different t state in a year or two & I want to wait 3-4 (don’t want to move with no job lined up) and that he wants someone who on the same page as him (we haven’t had in depth conversations since before he left & he doesn’t realize that I now want to move sooner than later… we have kids so I know the NC rule might be hard but they have their own phones and was just like if we need to speak I can do it through them or is that unfair … my friends say it seems like he is scared of breaking up again
If you do fall into the trap of being cold, then it can really push a guy away. If he’s getting in touch with you, then it means you’ve been on his mind. This is a solid foundation for making things right between the two of you again, but if you’re acting like a cold ice warrior, then it’s only going to confirm to him that he made the right decision in leaving you.
At the end of the day, the only thoughts and behavior you can truly change is your own, and at the very least during this time, that's what you should be focused on. The breakup happened for a reason, and it's usually never just one party's fault. Spend this time thinking about the issues that may have affected the relationship, and if there was anything you may have done specifically or whether it can be worked on or not. Also think about yourself if whether in the past 6 months, there were things that perhaps caused you to feel unhappy or anything less than your usual self, and see if you could do something about it now to turn those feelings around.
Answer: You can’t make someone be at the same place as you. The only thing you can do is give him the space he needs to figure out if he wants to join you or move on. Let him go and figure things out, and if he is ready to move forward with you, he’ll let you know. Pushing him is only going to drive him farther away and will make him think you aren’t the one. [Read: The 10 best kept secrets to making a man commit to you]
When you miss someone, it is hard not to reach out to that person. You want to be in daily communication, sometimes hourly. But if you want a man to really miss you, you must pull away. Do not call him or text him. If you continually reach out, he will never have anyone to miss. You must give this special person a reason to miss you. When you do stop contacting him, Mr. Right will wonder just why it is you’ve suddenly gone silent on him. Rule one is to cut off contact. This is a super hard task for us girls because we like to be in constant communication with the people we care about. Guys are so much better at not reaching out because they’re not that great at communicating but for us girls this isn’t the case. However, if you want to make him miss you you’ll have to master this art!
A goddess "lives confidence." She may not feel authentically confident but she is smart enough to witness her emotions as they are pop up, recognizing when her insecurities are causing her to take a man's behavior personally. She knows when to feel whatever painful stuff comes up inside her and then does exactly what a confident woman would do — not let his behavior define her self-worth!
But treasuring experiences is not nearly as destructive. They belong to us, they are special and they provide longer lasting happiness. We should always aim to visit a new place or just go trekking. Local authorities should be able to provide the facilities in towns and cities so that people may experience more enjoyable and pleasurable activities, rather than building more shopping malls.

Keep the mystery alive. When they just start seeing someone, why do some gals bombard guys with questions and try to learn everything about them straight away? If you do this, you’ll know everything about each other too soon and there’ll be nothing left to find out. Don’t ask too many questions right away and don’t offer information about yourself unless he asks. The chase will be more interesting for him this way.
When you miss a person, it’s a sign that you’re truly emotionally invested in that person; and that their absence in your life isn’t something that you find easy to bear. And if you want to remind your partner of just how significant you are in his life, then this article is for you. There is no denying that there is a certain passion that builds up inside of a person whenever you long to be with your significant other. It’s a lot like the effect of withdrawal that a lot of addicts will go through. When something that you love gets taken away from you, then you get a feeling of incompletion and unfamiliarity.

There may be something missing from your relationship that means you two aren’t communicating properly and feelings aren’t getting exchanged as they used too. Taking some time to refocus your energy back on the relationship and remember why you two got together in the first place is a huge way you can make him miss you. Send old photos of the best memories you two have together or just organize something that you both can do. Spend some time rekindling and being together when you can. Then when you both go and separate again he will miss you and the time he’s spent with you. It’s not always possible to be together but if it is then you should try.
My ex-boyfriend recently broke up with me almost two weeks ago. We had been dating for 3 years and 4 months. The day after the breakup I asked to meet him and tried to convince him. I failed. The next day I called him and failed to convince him again. 6 days later I met with him again to get closure, but ended up with nothing again. It is my 5th day of no contact and I intend to give him a month or two of NC. We have "broken up" before, but it was usually only for a day and typically were caused by small fights where one of us was stressed and lashed out. One of the reasons we broke up this time was because he said he didn't have romantic feelings towards me and just loved me as a friend. He said that he struggled with his feelings for me in our third year and started to feel like our relationship was a chore and allowed these feelings to bottle up inside of him. He also had a lot going on which I think is another factor that affected our relationship. When he broke up with me he said things like "I don't love you anymore", he agreed that I made him feel loved and wanted, he said I tried my best, but said he still couldn't love me like that. He also said that he didn't want to go through that cycle of breaking up and making up and wasn't ready to be in a relationship right now. Although I want to accept this gracefully and respect his decision, I still would like him in my life. I feel confident we can make it work. Part of me is scared that he won't reach out or be open to starting a new relationship with me, but I love him and want to be the one to make him happy. I don't know if we have a chance. Everyone says we don't have a chance and that he won't change his mind, but I want to know what you think. I want to believe and start this NC period with some optimism and hope. Do we have a chance?
They tell us they aren't capable of being in a long-term, exclusive relationship. They tell us they think women are controlling and selfish and don't know how to stop feeling that way. And yet we bypass these statements. The words go in one ear and out the other. Or we remember them but refuse to believe them. We tell ourselves, "He's just wounded!" or "He's lying to protect himself."
One of the most devastating mistakes you can make is trying to force it to work with a guy who is wrong with you. I’ve seen people spend years of their life trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. Everyone in their life tells them to just move on and let him go but they can’t. Why? Because they don’t have clarity or any objectivity because they are still sucked into the emotional whirlpool and have yet to break themselves free. <<<<
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