Deal lauren. I am a fan of mars and venus books and i have all the collection. I also recommended the books to my friends. But i still need your advice , my bf broke up with me 4 months ago. he felt overwhelmed, asked space and said he has nothing to say other than he needs to be alone. Since than i tried everything includinf suggesting to be friends and told him im over the break up and want my friend back. We work together, we were close friends for 6 months and we dated for 4 months. So after the friendship speech, he panicked and ended the conversation by saying lets keep it simple and move on. So i decided to start a true limited contact ( since i hv to work with him daily), since than he called once for work purpose (i think) but didnt answer him, he asked once how i was doing ( i replied im gd only) he tried a few jokes, and we met at a friends wedding so he invited me to dance with our other friends but i declined. I am commited to NC. He also invited me for a coffee at the work coffee shop and touched my hand once. My reactions were simple and didnt show attention or neediness. Than suddenly he went distant again and start ignoring me all over again. Im completly lost. I thought he starts to get closer!!!Please advice. Thank you ...
A goddess "lives confidence." She may not feel authentically confident but she is smart enough to witness her emotions as they are pop up, recognizing when her insecurities are causing her to take a man's behavior personally. She knows when to feel whatever painful stuff comes up inside her and then does exactly what a confident woman would do — not let his behavior define her self-worth!

Sure, you miss him and whenever he calls it’s the highlight of your day. You don’t want him to know that though. You don’t want him to know that you’re missing him. You don’t want him to know that you’ve spent the last three days stalking his online profiles to try and see what he’s been doing since the two of you split. No, instead, you need to act causal. You need to show him that leaving your life has had no negative impact on you. You need to make him question whether he’s made the right decision, without forcing the question down his throat.
I had gone on a rant in front of one of my guy friends recently about guys and their commitment issues, and much like many of the other guys who have had enough of my verbal assaults against men, he had decided it was time to pipe up. He decided to tell me how most men are approached by girls looking for commitment, why it doesn’t work, and how to get him to commit for real.
I broke up with my ex approximately 3 and a half months ago. About 5 weeks ago she began dating a new guy and apparently things are perfect between them. I want her back. I realized that I’d be missing out on the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. She and I had something great and I was just too immature to realize what I had. I tried reconnecting with her 2 weeks ago for about 10 days and it went horribly. During this time she would tell me constantly how well things are going in her new relationship and post her happiness on social media. I’ve been through the begging, nagging, desperation and buying gifts staged as they’ve gotten me nowhere and now am in the No Contact phase however she’s called me 3 times in a weeks time and each time blaming it on an accident or her phone messing up. She will not try to continue conversation or anything even after I’ve texted her the obvious, “I’m here for you if you need a friend or anything” and “Is everything okay”, so I guess I keep resetting my progress for the No Contact phase. What do I do next? The only thing I want in life is to have her back.
Making your man commit can take time and effort. You want to send him signals that you are ready to take the relationship further but at the same time don’t want to overdo it so it becomes an obsession or pressurizing. Don’t let the relationship become boring, keep an element on fun and excitement in it by doing something new together, going on nights out or trying something new in the bedroom.

So my ex broke up with me a week ago (we had only been dating for two months but apparently it was his longest relationship in awhile) and we’ve been in contact almost every day for the past week just talking as friends so that we don’t lose our snapchat streak (I know that’s a stupid reason to keep in contact with someone). He already drunk texted me saying that he made a mistake but when I confronted him about it the next day he remembered what he said just fine but said he couldn’t get back together because he “needed to work on himself first”. I feel awful starting the “4 week no contact rule” since we’ve been chatting for so long but I really want him back. What do I do?


Anyway, she decided to breakup, cause she lost all her feelings(it was 1.5 month ago). After that, I made common mistakes, again and again, and in the end I told her: "I give you 1.5 month(till the end of the summer) to think about it all. If you contact me during this period, we will try to build healthy relationship, in other case, I will be lost for you as a person, you will have no opportunity to talk to me/see me etc.". Now she is in another city(to visit parents, by the way, they are against me) abd she will be there for 3 weeks. My question is, how to make no-contact period after my words about "1.5 months", while she knows, that I'm waiting for that? And I have no conversations with her for a week, and when she returns-it will be the end of no-contact, but will she think of me, while she will be on a vacation with her parents? Maybe I have to contact her before these 1.5 months end? Or should I write her and tell, that I decided to take my words about 1.5 month back?
So my ex and I were only together 2 months. I know it sounds like way too short of a time for me to feel this strongly, but it was honestly one of those "once in a lifetime" connections. We connected instantly and had a very intense and meaningful 2 months. Out of the blue, he told me that he realized he wasn't happy being in a relationship with me, that he had lost the spark, that we weren't as compatible as he thought. He said it wasn't my fault, I had always been great, he just had a gut feeling that it wasn't right.

My boyfriend moved out 2 days ago and told me he was gioinh to break up with me, er takker a lot and devisen not to break up but he needed space. So noe he is at his mother’s house. I did the wrong thing by getting panicky, calling him and texting him.. he told me that i had to stop in order for him to relax and Get HIS space. I found this so hard and i’ve been crying non-stop for 2 and a half day. I got drunk the other night and cried in the phone to him. I don’t know how to get thru this and i feel like dying.. today i tried to give him a bit more space. He sounds so cold in the txt like we don’t know eachother. And my heart is literally breaking and my eyes are so swollen that it hurts. Anyone else expirenced something like this but still got together? He won’t even sau how long he needs space. And it frels more like he’s trying to forget the relationship.

Last message I told him that I’ll let him having time there to get things done after he told me that he’s not struggling with everything. (he has lots of extra expenses for this move too) He said he has anxiety about kids moving away (where we are now and new location is about 13 hours fly) but anyway he will prepare everything for them to move smoothly.
Maybe your past relationships haven’t turned out like you wanted them to, or you feel like every date in the past month was a lemon. Well, get over it. “It’s still up to you to open your heart—and keep it open. This can be scary because you don’t want to get hurt. However, in order to grow and connect, you must be available and vulnerable,” says Mills.
Italiano: Tornare Assieme alla tua Ex, Español: hacer que tu ex novia vuelva, Deutsch: Seine Ex Freundin zurückgewinnen, Português: Conquistar a sua Ex Namorada de Volta, Français: récupérer son ex petite amie, Русский: вернуть свою бывшую девушку, 中文: 让你的前女友回心转意, Nederlands: Je ex vriendin terugkrijgen, Čeština: Jak získat svoji expřítelkyni zpět, हिन्दी: अपनी एक्स गर्लफ़्रेंड को वापस पाएँ, ไทย: กลับไปคืนดีกับแฟนสาวคนเก่าของคุณ, العربية: استرجاع حبيبتك السابقة, 한국어: 전 여자친구를 되찾는 법

I meet a guy couple months ago,he live in new york ,i live in Georgia.when we first meet we talk on the phone and text every day.now its like every other week if any,also his not calling me when his home.he’ll call me on his way to work or home.what should I do on his birthday I asked him for his address so I can mail him a card,and he said no cause,he doesn’t like woman to send him gifts on his birthday?
This is one the first steps in commitment and should happen around a few months into the relationship. If it doesn’t, gently ask about meeting his family. You can bring it up naturally in a conversation when he is already talking about them so as to not add pressure. If he says that he will take you to meet them soon, just take it for now and don’t push for an exact date and time.
You may worry about the old adage, “Out of sight, out of mind,” and use that as a justification to reach out. The thought of him moving on and forgetting about you is too terrifying to bear. One little text won’t hurt, you reason. But, in this instance, it will hurt. If you want your ex back, it is important that you strictly adhere to the no contact rule.
"Going away on a trip just the two of you is always the best idea when you feel like your relationship needs a 'spark.' Of course it is easier for the French couples who get easily seven weeks off per year! But jokes aside, nothing is as effective as three days without the children somewhere other than home (Lisbon? Copenhagen? New Orleans?). Suddenly, you might remember why you are together.
My girlfriend of two years has left me again (after doing the same thing about two months prior). The last time I had began to move on even though I really didn't want to. She contacted me and said she was shocked by how fast I was moving on and she proceeded to make me believe she wanted me back. Two weeks ago she did the same again - ended it after telling me she "hates me", doesn't love me or fancy me. It's all very out of the blue and I'm acting desperate and needy right now, it's awful. I feel like I'm going mad and I just don't know what to do. I love her but I feel like it's a lost cause.
Getting back on his feet involved reconnecting with old friends, and making contact with new ones as he pursued interests in activities he enjoyed. He joined a book group, found a place with religious services that he liked. He recalled the sports activities that in better times, he used to enjoy and returned to doing those activities again. Bit by bit, his spirits lifted.
Heres the thing, I had been an addict for the last 7 years, and I hid it from everyone, especially him. But it dominated my life and I know that it affected how his feelings developed. I wouldn't spend the night at his place bc i need to come home and get high. I would show up late to things bc I would be getting high until the very last second. Addicts don't care about anyone but themselves, and I never put in the effort to making him happy. He never knew how bad it was, and I don't think he even knows how it affected the relationship, but I do.

So my ex boyfriend and I were together for a year and 4 months. Honestly he was obsessed and so was I but i became too comfortable. He was my world and I never thought he would leave me. He would always chase after me and showering me with love and it made me the happiest person alive. One day he got tired of fighting with me and he dumped. told me he didnt want me anymore. I looked like a fool, i begged i cried i ran after him but he just walked away with his head up. it was so painfully. he blocked me on everything so i dont have contact but if i text him he will usually unblock to read my messages. it hurts so bad and as messed up as it is i still want him. I want him back so badly it kills.
Sometimes the man you’re missing is yours, and you want to stay in his mind. There are many things you can do to ensure he’ll think of you. Have you ever cleaned your room and found an old movie stub or small item and had memories rush back? It’s amazing what a tiny item can do. Make a point of leaving a small memento behind in your man’s car or house. When he sees that earring or hair clip, you’ll come to mind, and he’ll want to see you that much more. DO NOT leave behind a toothbrush or other items that are of an intimate nature because this will surely cause him to panic. Think cute when it comes leaving a little piece of you at his place and he won’t be able to take his mind off of you.

Be optimistic; I'm a firm believer that there is someone out there for everyone. Don't subscribe to the belief that you're going to spend forever alone or that true love doesn't exist — it does, it just takes work, which brings me to my last point: Be willing to put in the work. Successful relationships require both partners to put in a lot of effort; if you really love one another, it doesn't feel like work.

Women often pull away because there is something wrong within their relationship, whereas men will pull away just because they need to constantly adjust to the direction they are heading. Because women pull away when there is a problem, they automatically think the same must be said for men, when it is likely just the male’s need for a little space.
Even if you want to win her back, you're going to have to accept and process the breakup either way because it's unlikely that you'll win her back simply by being the same person as you were. The panicking and desperate behaviors also would have made her feel more strongly about the breakup, and you're going to need to give both parties space right now. Go into no contact and process your emotions, follow the guidelines in our articles, before reaching out to her again.
I was reading your article and I just had to write to you and ask for your guidance. I have been seeing a married man for almost two years. Everything was great and it seemed as we were going to be together then I am not sure what happened about 2-3 months ago that he just started to pull away and makes the excuse that he’s doing what he’s doing to protect us. Not sure what that means…. Confused, and heart broken
I followed the no contact rule … it’s the 19th day today .. I had to text him yet because of a death in his family … and I got to know about a lot of things which only show that the negativity is still there in him .. he has blocked me off on whatsapp yesterday (the only place I wasn’t blocked on ) even when I dint text him anything else …everyone is just telling me what I’m doing is never going to work and that he’s never going to come back with this behaviour of your because he’s very very very scared to lose that girl .. should I still wait and give it a little more time because it’s still possible or what do I do ? I tried distracting myself .. on self improvement.. but these things just come up and now I’m completely demotivated… I really love him and I really want him back …
Answer: Remind him what he was chasing you for. Show him that just because he’s won over you doesn’t mean he gets to keep you. Instead of groveling and chasing him, turn the tables and make him work to get you back. If you remind him that you can be just fine without him, he’s likely to begin the hunt and chase all over again. [Read: How to keep a guy interested in 30 super sexy ways]
I tried to ask him why and fix things but it got worse everytime I tried and when we were on the ph he ignored me the calls were silent and when I did say something he ignored me :( we used to be close we were friends on snapchat he chose to ignore me but still watched my mystory and it went on like that 4 weeks till I got upset and blocked him on my snapchat but still have him on Skype and his # we even would mail each other presents for holidays I fear he may have moved on and doesn’t like me anymore
You’ve gone to all the right places. You’ve said all the right things. And now you got the girl! Before you know it, you’re a proud owner of a cute Pomeranian named ‘Fluffy’ and there are more women’s toiletries in your bathroom than at the Macy’s counter. Congratulations. You’re in a relationship with a woman with whom you want to spend every waking moment for the rest of your life. So how do you sustain it? Just follow these three DON’Ts:
When you go out or have new experiences, take pictures of your new and improved appearance. When you’re doing your favourite things, take a picture. You can also take pictures with your friends. Be happy. Then post on social media like instagram or facebook. This will help you attract new friends too! Your ex may or may not see these photos. Who cares? You’re enjoying yourself and you will attract more like-minded people. But please don’t post too much. Posting once every two days is a good amount to not annoy others while showing your amazing life.

HW (Helen), I'm so happy to hear those books and resources were helpful to you in a difficult time. I'd have to know more about the relationship to give you a more confident answer but if you feel like there was a big enough bond between you in the first place, then you could always try sending this letter. Worst case scenario, he doesn't respond and you've got a clear answer so that you can move on. Hope this helped!


Let’s say one night you decide to watch home movies from an old-fashion projector. You put in a video of you at 5 years old playing at your first recital. You curl up on the couch with popcorn and hot chocolate (two of your favorite things) and begin to watch. Unfortunately, there appears to be a weird blemish in the video, so you decide to change it and put on a video of your 10th birthday party but somehow the blemish is in that video too. So, you run over to the wall, wipe the screen, and put in one more video… yet again, the spot is still showing up.
5. No contact shows that you’re a good listener. You can demonstrate to your ex that you possess the qualities they are looking for in a partner in that you are a good listener. Instead of acting selfishly by awkwardly hanging around being annoying and badgering your ex to take you back, you listened to what they had to say and responded by giving them what they said they wanted.
So basically I met someone, we got on really well, we had a connection and after a week I went to America, once I went to America, things went a bit weird. When I got back he wouldn’t meet up with me because he said he had a lot going on in his mind. Anyway after a month coming back, we met up, we slept with each other, I gave him massages and etc, things were still weird, met up again and slept with him again and now he’s kinda backed off. Like one min he’s okay and one min he’s really cold towards me. I used to ask him what’s the sketch with your ex, he used get so defensive about it. I’ve only known him since mid March but I was so fond of him and feel so down. Please can you give me advice? He hasn’t contacted me since couple of days.
i have been dating this guy for almost six months now, we have not started having sex, because i told him i am not ready we have talked about it and he agreed. But of late i feel he is pulling away, sometimes he will not call or text me unless if i call him or text him first, he is always postponing our dates and its like he does not want to see me, when i ask him he says he is just busy with work or he could not call me because he had no credit in his phone, i don’t really know what to do? should i just leave him alone or i continue calling or texting him first all the time…, does it mean he has lost interest in me? please help ,

He apologised and i accepted his apology and we got back together. withing the 1st month of the apology, everything went well and i was happy things went well between us like before. But within 2 months of his apology, he started picking fights and arguing with me again about things he'd like to buy etc... he's a shopaholic. he wanted to break up with me again.
For some the search can be long and difficult, and for others it can be quick and easy. A lot of variables go into the length, ease, and success of that search, but the one thing that will boost your efforts is how well you present yourself. It’s imperative, especially early on, that you look your best every time we see you, at least for the first few months of the relationship. This is not men being vain or superficial. Unless your father is Bill Gates, how you look is the strongest magnet you possess. Your hair must be done, your nails neatly painted, and your clothes should highlight your assets and hide your liabilities. Loose sweats, uncombed hair pulled back under a baseball cap, and rundown Ugg boots are fine once the relationship is in high gear, but definitely a turn-off when at the beginning. In our minds, if you are not making the effort to look your best when we barely know each other, we dread the thought of what you’ll look like a couple of months into the relationship.

I don’t know if someone could give me an advice, or maybe i’ll be criticized but i need to tell someone my storry. It’s a bit large so i apologize but it’s because of how complicated things are. Three years ago i started working as a girl of “company” ( i don’t really like the other words that describe this job). On my sixth month i met Him. At first he was just one of my best clients. But we got to talk a lot and start knowing each other, so we fell in love. He says he fell in… Read more »
A common complaint I hear from women is how their man minimizes their feelings or concerns. Telling her, “It’s not a big deal,” “Just get over it” or “It’ll be ok” can invalidate her experiences. Just because you don’t think it’s a big deal doesn’t mean it’s not a big deal. Understand your woman’s feelings by asking open-ended questions. You don’t have to agree with her, but understanding her perspective will deepen your connection, and increase trust and safety.

I understand that I caused a lot of the fighting but how does someone just quit caring about someone they use to love who is carrying their child? It seems like he hates me. I’d like to ask him these things but I know I shouldn’t and honestly he probably wouldn’t even respond. Hopefully waiting 30 days will help but I’m feeling pretty hopeless at this point
Hello, Im a guy (35) hes 20. After one year he has asked for "space". Apparently, he is seeing someone +-age after weeks of denial. Im still in love with him and this was bound to happen with our age gap and distance. Yet despite that, we had been meeting (with me obviously pleading embarrassingly with him to change his mind) . Now that he is in a relationship, are there any positive chances to get him back. Great read this article has been though and having gone through it eight days before i have never contacted him again and im eager to make it to at least 30 days, but what are the chances and is it ethical

Reason #2. If you were to implement all the tricks and tactics available on the internet for getting your ex back, and you succeeded against all odds, you would be going back to something that didn't work--at least not for him and most likely not for you either. You would end up being a doormat. Or a nervous wrack walking on eggshells. Granted, you miss his kisses, his good morning text messages, the wining and dining. But what part of it do you really miss? What you really miss could be the kisses, the "good morning" text messages, and the wining and dining. It may not be him. It may seem that way. But once you clear your head, you may realize that you miss the events, not him in particular.


Well he could have genuinely meant the breakup, but habits are a little harder to cut off, which is why he still acts similarly at times towards you. However, if you want to win him back, you're going to have to focus on recovery and working on yourself first with as little distraction or setback from him as possible. Living together at right now won't be a good idea until both of you are at least beginning to work on the relationship again.
How you feel with the person you’re with is the best indication of whether you’re with someone who’s compatible or not. How much you want it to work is the worst indicator of a good relationship (in fact, usually the people who tell me how desperately they want something to work are highlighting how incompatible they really are from their partner).
He may need a little time to adjust to the situation you two are in, if it’s a long-distance thing, then he’s going to need space and time to think about everything. This doesn’t mean start ignoring his calls or stop texting him back, you should simply realize he may need space. Just because he wants some space also doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss you, sometimes change is a huge thing and people deal with it in different ways. Giving him space will allow him to realize how much he loves and misses you, this is likely to lead to a discussion between the two of you about your feelings.

Hello, my fiancee give me a ring. We was looking at getting married nextyear. I came to a realization that I was a convenient around him. He was to controlling and wanted to have his way. When I begin to show him that I didn’t like the way he acted and flirted around other women online and in public. He begin to blame me of being to jealous and controlling. Well he broke up with me sad he was just going to find himself and be along. Come to find out he moved in some female he knew from high… Read more »


Guys are going to naturally cycle between wanting intimacy and wanting independence. Trying to guess the reason is impossible – some guys want space to reflect on the relationship, some (insecure) guys want space because their friends make fun of them for being “too whipped”, some guys want space because they need time alone to clear their heads and gain clarity in life.
Don’t change your plans for him. First off, you need to maintain who you are when you’re in a relationship, so start out dating this guy by setting some ground rules: some activities and events will not be changed because they are important to you. You will fit him in when your schedule allows. A confident woman won’t alter what she’s planned to do for a guy.
However, stringing a guy along for months on end, just to “make him wait,” will inevitably pull him away from you. Many people say that if you’re dumped for having sex soon enough, then he wasn’t worth the hassle in the first place. Whilst this is true to a certain extent, attaching a timeframe before making love with someone you care about could do the same.
We all know there’s a difference between a woman being “insecure” vs being “aware”. When she’s aware, there’s evidence that confirms her suspicion(s) about your behavior. When she’s insecure, there may be only speculation that stems from her lack of stability or ability in herself. Either way, it’s important to acknowledge the things that make your significant other feel insecure by making conscious decisions that affect the relationship. Below are just a few simple tips that can help your lady feel secure in your relationship:
When it comes to discussing the future, men can yak up a storm — but only if the topics are limited to our careers, sports, or the new kung-fu flick we want to go see this weekend. Shift the focus to relationships, and all speech function grinds to a halt. The throat gets parched. Dizziness ensues. We men start loosening our collars: Is it just me, or is it always this hot in here?
I soon learnt from my hypocritical ways and started to make an effort in my appearance and I actually felt better for it and had a lot more confident. Being attractive doesn’t just mean what you look like on the outside however; it is also an emotional trait too. A woman who is independent and confident is attractive to men, jealousy and dependency is not.
Only problem is, at what point did you discuss exclusivity with each other? That conversation never took place did it? Things just ended up how they were right? Been there, done that. Being upset that he’s seeing other people is understandable, however, you’re both at fault for not being transparent and communicating clearly to each other what you really want.

I have been with this boy for almost two years now. I may be judged for putting this out as right now I am 13 going on 14 but I can tell you we have an accual relationship as all adults do. Some things are different of course but the fact that we have been almost two years strong should tell you something. I have been upset lately because I’ve been dealing and doing these things to my boyfriend and this has crossed my mind and I came here for help so I am going to try this out. I hope I can recive some positive comments back of support and advise. Please no judgement for my age. I can honestly tell you, my parents fight and have a less mature relationship at times then we do. I only seek support and advise. Thank you.
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Getting dumped sucks and when your boyfriend decides he doesn’t want you anymore it just tears you apart from the inside out. I feel for you but don’t worry because we are going to take a look at your breakup and figure out the best way to approach things. Again, I want to reiterate this point- don’t assume that the reason your ex boyfriend gave you for why he chose to break up is really why he decided to let you go. This may sound a bit mean, but you are going to have to be completely honest with yourself and possibly look at things that may make you uncomfortable.
It was good, but the toxic feelings from the first breakup followed us wherever we went. Mary had let go of that fun-in-the-sun, summer-fling, freewheelin’ attitude I had desperately tried and failed to bring to our last relationship. She had made new friends and learned valuable lessons since our breakup, the biggest one being that guys who try to hold on to their high school ex-girlfriends are as dumb as they are stupid.

When you get a taste of something great, you will always want another taste. Men want what they can’t have. If you give him all he wants right away instead of making him fight for you, he will know he has it made on easy street. Where is the fun in getting something without a fight? Be a little bit flirtatious but don’t give him everything. For example, definitely don’t give him a kiss on the first date. Make him earn each bit of affection he gets from you. Men like to earn things and your affections shouldn’t be any different. He’ll appreciate you more if you make it a little challenging for him to be in your good graces.
I’m sorry Eileen, i keep bugging…but he thinks I’m playing mind games w him bc I messed up in the beginning and it was a complete misunderstanding… and said if I don’t get in touch with him that he will find someone else to keep himself from getting depressed. It’s funny bc ever since I been giving him space, he been trying to text and call me alot…this guy is very difficult since I used to push him away bc I felt like I was not good enough for him…I’m trying to b positive
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