whenever I ask him what’s wrong with him it takes a while before I get just one sentence out of him, this has affected our relationship as communication is being lacked. Ik he’s a guy and doesn’t want to seem vulnerable I understand that but we had a over the text argument more like me yelling at him even though for days I have asked him if we can talk in person so we can settle this in person so no communication is being misinterpreted but all he did was bring up lil excuses not to talk to me or I’d ask him when we would be able to and he’d be like “Idk” and because of that I would overthink everything and then just hold everything in until finally I exploded. I usually hold my tounge with being sweet and patient and I was like that for about 3 days but I was done with him not talking about what is going on with him and us and it all started when I gave him the impression that I didn’t want to be in this relationship anymore. We were in the car and I was jumbling all my feelings and not even knowing what I was saying, I said to him that I wanted some space to get myself together so that I could love myself more for this relationship. And I think all he got from me talking was that I wanted space and that I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him because that’s usually something somebody would say if they wanted to end it slowly without saying “I wanna break up with you”. I shouldn’t of worded it like that but keep in mind I was PMSing to the max and I even told him that was why I freaked out on him and to try to understand not to take anything I say personal or even seriously.
This applies to your past relationship during arguments or conflicts that you may have gotten into, to the actual breakup, but also moving forward while trying to win back their heart. In order to really understand what your ex felt or feels and to come up with the right approach to connect and touch their heart you will need consider the 360 degree approach
Im trying hard to frgt my x boy friend but dont knw why I cant overcome d situation.I cant find d same affection or feeling frm d other guy.infact there r lots of boys in my office they proposed me but I can’t relate myself with them.when 100 boys r crazy abut me then how can he leave me.why he betrayed with me why he dont love me when I can do everything fr him.this question come in my mind al d time.may b ds site wl helpme to overcome.plz suggest me in my mail id how I wl frgt him
Hi. I'm currently on day 14 of no contact. And my ex has started a conversation for the third time in these two weeks. I keep the conversation short and unemotional like a friendly acquaintance. As stated by the no contact rules. However the undertone of her messages seem to tell me she misses me and perhaps even wants me back. I'm not sure of this because she doesn't say it with so many words I just seem to feel something. Should I risk it and break protocol of no contact and skip the 16 remaining days and ask her out for coffee already? Because if shes in the missing me phase already she might be over it later on. Although you guys say the missing phase can take a while. But still. Why take the risk? I hope you can clarify that for me :)

Answer: You can’t make someone be at the same place as you. The only thing you can do is give him the space he needs to figure out if he wants to join you or move on. Let him go and figure things out, and if he is ready to move forward with you, he’ll let you know. Pushing him is only going to drive him farther away and will make him think you aren’t the one. [Read: The 10 best kept secrets to making a man commit to you]
Hello Adam. Thanks for offering such an exciting post and video. You’ve HIT the nail on the head! From my experience, yes, men totally enjoy their SPACE and we should make sure they get it. Respect his space and have him respect yours. Confident women with a touch of mystery and charm will most likely excite men to pursue and return again and again. I enjoy spontaneity and time spent exclusively enjoying my own range of soothing pleasures. First enjoy loving yourself – having a massage, facial, pedicure, and or just spending time at favorite events with other special friends and family. SPACE can make the relationship exciting!
If you’ve gotten yourself to the point where you’re ready for you guy to commit, but he just won’t budge, the two of you have probably discussed your relationship status ad nauseam. As of right now, bringing up your desire to be in a relationship won’t do you any good. He knows that you want to strip him of his “single” status and every time you bring it up, he pulls further and further away from you. So what’s a girl to do?
Well he could have genuinely meant the breakup, but habits are a little harder to cut off, which is why he still acts similarly at times towards you. However, if you want to win him back, you're going to have to focus on recovery and working on yourself first with as little distraction or setback from him as possible. Living together at right now won't be a good idea until both of you are at least beginning to work on the relationship again.
This worked for me. I started dating a fella who was fresh out of a committed, live-in relationship and said he was unlikely to call anyone his girlfriend anytime soon. I didn’t say, “Oh yeah, buster, well you better decide now or I’m out!” I didn’t force him into having The Talk (read why to avoid this). I liked the guy. So I made sure I blew his mind and made him earn it. I did my thing, kept my life going and made it clear if he wanted to see me, he had to let me know. When we were together, I made him feel like a million bucks.
If you and your ex were in any type of serious relationship, then they will not be able to move on so quickly. In fact, no contact is only going to make them miss you more and remember the good things about you. You have to take a leap of faith over here. The alternative to no contact is being a creep and texting and stalking your ex all the time, which will probably lead to a restraining order against you. You really don’t have much of an option.
Buddy, upon hearing that you don’t want to marry quite yet, is devastated but he says he’ll stay. But it's clear he’s really unhappy about it. When you walk past the bridal store, he starts getting choked up. When you walk past couples with a new baby, he shoots you a look of longing and hurt. He makes a jabbing comment about how all his friends in his fraternity got married, and finally, you just snap.
It would seem like the bond you share with him is definitely stronger than with the girl, and she could simply be an escape mechanism that he turned to every time he wants to run away due to his depression. With the family, living together, and even having a connection, you should try talking to him about it with regards to getting back, or at least the idea of it.
"Going away on a trip just the two of you is always the best idea when you feel like your relationship needs a 'spark.' Of course it is easier for the French couples who get easily seven weeks off per year! But jokes aside, nothing is as effective as three days without the children somewhere other than home (Lisbon? Copenhagen? New Orleans?). Suddenly, you might remember why you are together.
Don’t fall in love with your man for his potential.  You want to bond with someone as they are now.  Sure, all signs point to him becoming successful and hard-working, but what if something occurs, like illness or disability, that would prevent that from happening?  Would you still love him?  Your man is not your project, so make sure you pick someone who you love just the way he is.
Planning things in a workplace might be productive, but you need to understand that planning things in a relationship might prove to be counterproductive. There isn’t anything wrong in maintaining standards. There are some women who have the habit of ticking off everything from the list of traits of their dream partner. They determine if the person is worth going into a relationship by checking on the score of the checklist.
#5 He is stressed out at work. Men are not like women. They are not multi-taskers. If he is preoccupied with something like work, he probably isn’t capable of keeping his focus on two things at once. If you notice that he’s no longer as interested as he used to be, it’s important for you to start looking not only at his behavior but at what is going on with his family and work life as well. It may have absolutely nothing to do with you at all.
Let things progress naturally and look at the evidence: Does he try to see you whenever he's free? Does he seem genuinely interested in what you have to say? Does he have as much fun on dates as you do? These are likely signs he's in it for real, so enjoy being with him and relax about making things "official." "Men who are wary of commitment want to feel like they're the one choosing to be with you—they don't want to feel like they're being coaxed into a cage," Trespicio adds.
Maybe he texts you a generic, “Hey, how are you?” If he really misses you, he might even call. Or, maybe you text or call (but remember, this is after a period of no contact that lasts at least four weeks). At this point, there are no hard and fast rules to follow. In fact, there are no rules when it comes to dating in general. Remember before when we talked about people putting on deodorant and perfume on to disguise body odor instead of taking a bath first… well, that’s the same as employing rules that don’t align with where you truly are mentally.
He was my bestfriend for a while and then we found out that we actually love each other so we dated for a few months and then he told me that we should go back to being bestfriends to protect what we have because we can never be together or get married due to our religious beliefs.. when we started doing that he was already talking to another girl who follows the same religion as him and i got jealous and got into many fights with him about that .. that lasted for about 2 months and then he got sick from my craziness and told me that we should be just regular friends not even bestfriends and we shouldn’t text everyday or call each other unless there is something important.. that was about a month ago .. i begged him to become bestfriends again i talked alot and tried everything i could do but it was no use .. yesterday i talked to him about it again and he told me that being just friends is his final decision ans he won’t change his mind and i should act that way and just let it flow .. i hate the fact that he’s in control and that it was his decision to be just regular friends. Moreover, he and that other girl became really close I’m not sure if they are dating or not but i know that they talk and hang out alot .. we go to the same college so i see them together alot .. whenever he sees me he acts normal as regular friends .. what should i do to go back into being bestfriends again ? What should i do to win him back after he said that he already moved on? I’m not sure if the other girl is a rebound or everything between them is real also.

Thank you for your comment. So this is very common and it seems to me he is keeping you around but not a priority. You will not get a true commitment from a man if he does not see you as a priority. There could be a way of changing this and you should not give him your time when he asks for it moving forward. I encourage you to reach out to me here and book a 30 or 1HR coaching session so we can discuss how to change this moving forward. Hope to hear from you soon. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2/


So, it’s always good to be putting in the effort to make sure that your man misses you whenever you’re not around. You always want someone who is going to appreciate you even when you’re not there; someone who would never take your presence in his life for granted. And you have to do certain things to make sure that you’re that kind of girl for him:
Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging. However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative.
SIDE NOTE: You may feel as if I am really grilling your approach to relationships here, but as I said, there’s a positive purpose to it. You need to see what went wrong first so that when you apply my how to win your ex back steps, you won’t be sabotaging the effectiveness of those steps by behaving in the ways that got you dumped in the first place.
To be honest I don’t think he is scared to take the next step. I do think he likes you and has feelings for you but it seems to me that you are not setting boundaries and voicing your opinion and standards in this relationship so he will eventually take you for granted. I know this isn’t the answer you want to hear but I am here to give you the truth through years of experience. Right now, he has you when he wants you and he does not have anything pushing him to be with you. Some questions I would ask is why does it not bother you that he is touchy feely with other women? Becuase you don’t want to push him away? Or Don’t want to come off bossy, controlling, or needy? If so, then this will push a man away because he will take you for granted. Now, if you are open to open relationships then that’s ok too. Just trying to touch all bases here. But moving forward you need to know your good enough and not an option to this man. Go radio silent for 30 days! Also, challenge yourself to do some new activities to keep your mind busy. I know this will be hard but do this. 🙂 I invite you to reach out to me for a coaching session too if you would like so we can get some actions into play.
Make a major independent financial decision. Talk about buying a car, a plot of land, a house, or maybe a Cessna. The reason: You're making him aware that you don't need him to move your life forward. And if he asks you why you didn't consult him first about the decision, jokingly say, "It's not like we're married!" He'll have to respond with a request for clarification of exactly what he is to you, if he's going to have any say in your financial matters. That sounds like the start of The Talk.

Well i’m basically after the no contact period and im texting my ex again. We shared a lot so i texted him about this show we both were watching and he relief. Since then we arenie taking but i’m the one initiating the contact (he sent me a funny video obce but that’s nothing i suppose). He told me that’s he doesnt see a future with me because i smoke and that Im too proud and irresponsible. We are both 20. So i texted him about talking and playing some video game to which he responded positively but at the same time he called his and mine friends on discord and asked then to Play with us. I was really friendly and I laughed a lot. We texted a bit and then conversation ended. We are going to a party with mutual friends on 2nd and I fear that he may be over me. I just dont know what to sat to him to make him rethink this and show him that I’ve changed. I quit smoking, i got less proud and I think I van make him happy. We shared a lot and he really was my second half and also the jest friend Ive ever had. I do love him and i care for him but i dont know excactly how to convince him that we can solve this out.

Eventually, we had a massive fight that lasted hours over the phone and he broke up with me, saying that he was too scared and hurt to keep trying as he felt we would always have the same problems, over and over again. It hurt so bad, and I begged during the entire fight but left him alone immediately after the break-up, saying that I was sorry and that I would miss him and his family. He told me that despite us both loving each other, we couldn't continue and that I would never get another chance.
Take a vacation. Jetting off with nothing but a bikini and the promise of a postcard gives him a small taste of life minus you. Plus, the freedom to flirt when you're ostensibly single cuts both ways, and if he's into you, that'll stick in his craw. "When my girlfriend told me she was going on a cruise with three of her friends, I figured, cool — three weeks of bachelor days ahead," says Todd James* (names have been changed), a 29-year-old New York City public-relations executive. But then he saw how excited she was about the trip. "She kept talking about how they were going to get crazy — and two of her friends didn't have boyfriends. I doubted Amy was going to sit on the boat drinking pina coladas alone while they hit the town." Long story short: The night before she left, he initiated The Talk. "It was sort of a preemptive strike. I didn't want her to cheat on me," he said. "But it also made me think about losing her, and how I knew those three weeks would be pretty lonely. I did enough running around in college."
However, stringing a guy along for months on end, just to “make him wait,” will inevitably pull him away from you. Many people say that if you’re dumped for having sex soon enough, then he wasn’t worth the hassle in the first place. Whilst this is true to a certain extent, attaching a timeframe before making love with someone you care about could do the same.
Most of us know that men are visual: you are wired that way. My best relationship advice for you is not to be so distracted by looks that you ignore the “character” of your partner (or potential partner.) By character I mean whether the person is kind, considerate, compassionate and loving – and not just when he or she wants something! Is their communication gentle or harsh? How do they ask for what they want? Is it a request or is it a demand?
Im also experiencing this right now. I’ve been talking to this guy for a month. He texts and calls me everyday and after two weeks he said that he is falling in love with me. I told him that if I want to commit it should be with someone who is serious and for long term. He said he’s looking for the same too. And so we decided to meet and spend the day together. We were so happy and compatible. I felt safe and comfortable with him so I decided to get steady with him. Even it was time for me to go he’s still the same. Sweet and caring he even said that he wants to come and visit my home. Few more days and texting and nothing is changed he’s still the same guy I met so I was really worried when suddenly he stopped communicating with me. I let the 4 days passed without asking him what’s the problem. As I was so worried and confused I texted him like this ” I’m afraid my bf has been abducted by Pokemons. Do you know anything about this?” Just to make the convo light. Then he replied ” who are you?”. That moment I felt like my heart was torn into pieces. Here I was, so worried but then he just don’t care. I’ve waited a few days more and I asked him what’s the problem? He said that he’s been thinking if he’s the right guy for me cuz he has no direction. He doesn’t know what he wants in life and asked me if he is someone that I would like to spend my life with. He said that he love me but he’s too scared. I told him that love is a gamble. And I gambled for him and that I was really hurt by his actions. I even said that I thought we could achieve what we want together, but he didn’t say anything. I ended up the convo by saying that I will always pray for him and I wish that someday he would find what he wants in life and I hope he could find someone who would make him happy. He did not reply . So I guess that’s it. He pulled back and im not sure if I did the right thing. I think that he doesn’t want me anymore but I still love him and would be willing to figure out things together but it was him who gave up. I asked myself if I want someone like that I think I don’t. So yeah we broke up.

maybe you should lead someone on for as long as you do before showing that kind of attention back. and you wonder why men think their not good enough for you resulting in pulling away. not being funny but too many women out there expect the men to try try and try only for THEM to get the so called ‘reward’. ever considered making it a mutual thing and not all female onesided letting the man feel like he has to earn some kind of reward..
When she contacted him, her ex was very excited. This time, he asked to meet up. When they did finally meet up, Mindy was a little bit disappointed in him. He was still the same person. She felt that he was manipulative and controlling. He wanted to keep her as a backup while fooling around with other girls. The second date confirmed her feelings when he told her that he loves her but doesn’t want to commit yet. She found out from her friends that he was dating a couple other girls as well.
Im trying hard to frgt my x boy friend but dont knw why I cant overcome d situation.I cant find d same affection or feeling frm d other guy.infact there r lots of boys in my office they proposed me but I can’t relate myself with them.when 100 boys r crazy abut me then how can he leave me.why he betrayed with me why he dont love me when I can do everything fr him.this question come in my mind al d time.may b ds site wl helpme to overcome.plz suggest me in my mail id how I wl frgt him
Something else to mention here. In most cases if you are ultimately able to get your ex back, it is most likely going to happen when you see her face-to-face. That’s because you can affect a girl’s emotions better face-to-face. Because remember, as a woman she makes her love-life decisions based on emotion – so that’s why any getting back together will most likely happen face-to-face.
You might want to consider personal coaching with me if you require a specific game plan on winning him back, otherwise, go through no contact as read and apply positive changes to your life while getting yourself to an emotional state where you're okay with whatever happens. The only way you win him back is by making those changes in your life and figuring out what went wrong in the relationship that made him feel that he couldn't be himself and the reason he might have lost the spark for you which further reinforced his decision. Also, no more pleading and begging for him back.
hi. i broke up with my ex girlfriend (2 weeks ago) for a second time after 7 months. We were together for 4 years now. In Oct last year, we broke up because of my mistake. i was rude to her when she did something i didn't like, and it took me 1 month to get her back. i followed radio silence technique and be very persistent to make a point to text her every 2-3 days. one thing that helped was back then, she was working in a new company and her boss was emotionally abusive. i had the opportunity to be there for her and promised her i will change (and she acknowledges that during this break up that i've changed 90%). the reason for the break up is 1) she wants to explore herself as she's only 25. we got together when she was 21. (i'm 30 right now). 2) she said she can't forget the past hurt that i've caused her. 3) she said i'm a great guy, she still love me and will miss me as we're part of each other already. 4) my dominant character has sort of overshadow her to be independent.
In fact, seeing a reconciliation as anything other than a combination of mutual growth and effort is a pretty unhealthy approach. "I would avoid the mindset of 'winning' over anyone," says Dr. Mariana Bockarova, Ph.D., who teaches relationship psychology at the University of Toronto. "If your relationship is missing some key attributes, no one has won in the end."
If you and your ex were in any type of serious relationship, then they will not be able to move on so quickly. In fact, no contact is only going to make them miss you more and remember the good things about you. You have to take a leap of faith over here. The alternative to no contact is being a creep and texting and stalking your ex all the time, which will probably lead to a restraining order against you. You really don’t have much of an option.
This is by far the best article I’ve ever read in my entire life about relationships and how to understand a man. This article would definitely help my BFF understand this as she is the clingiest, neediest & most insecure person ever & fails relationship after relationship. The only thing she says is: “I’m a good person why I can’t get a good man for myself?”. She praises herself endlessly but, when She finally lands a guy, she’s suffocated them so much that they end up leaving her. And believe it or not, as a friend, that’s really hard to watch when u see your BFF being dumped especially when she asks why… That’s when this article comes in. This article should have her name on it.

Hi, so like so many others my boyfriend just broke up with me 3 days ago. My mind is definetly in the overreacting stage. We’d been going out for 8 months and honestly it was fantastic, I’ve never felt like somebody loved me as much as he did. I would wake up to “good morning, just a quick reminder that I love you” texts every now and then, and we never really left the honeymoon phase. So 4 weeks ago I went on holiday and he called me saying he missed me and when I got back he seemed very genuine in the missing me and loving me. Last time I saw him 2 weeks ago everything was as normal, very loving to each other, but just kinda curled up on the couch because I had some period pain. I apologised for not really doing anything with him that day and he said “I just feel weightless holding you and being with you, don’t worry.” The next week he began phasing me out over text (usually we would message everyday) until a week ago he shut me out completely saying he had family and work issues. I finally break his silence and he comes over and breaks up with me. He told me that it had been on his mind constantly for the past 2 weeks and everyone said noticed the anxiety change in him. He said he couldn’t sleep because he didn’t know what to do. When I asked why he said it was just all in his head and he couldn’t get it out. He said that it was him and not me and thanked me for being the best girlfriend he’s ever had... all the time he seemed emotionless and hugged me loosely. I was/am devestated, from my point of view nothing happened or changed and he was extremely out of character. Even his friends and family messaged me after saying how shocked they were and asking how I was. Of course I want him to come back and say it was a mistake but I don’t know if he will. I havnt contacted him since but his best friend wants to meet me for coffee next week... so do I meet her and break the no contact rule? Also is there a point? I don’t want to try for something that clearly won’t happen. I just need some outsider advice :(

So before looking for love through external sources such as dating women or starting a serious relationship or even taking your sacred, matrimonial vows, look deep within yourself and see if what you see makes you happy. If you are missing something, don’t love yourself, or even hate yourself for some reason, fix this first. Work on becoming your best possible self and striving to improve in whatever it is that doesn’t fulfill you now.
The more your guy says “I love you” then more he will come to terms with it and realize that you are an important person in his life. If at first he refuses to say those 3 words and instead compliments you or says something like “isn’t is obvious” after you have asked whether he loves you, tell him that it would mean more if he said those 3 little words.
“I was absolutely crushed when my boyfriend broke up with me seemingly out of the blue. Beyond devastated. I read so many articles on how to get your ex back but they all seemed so stupid. Then I found you guys. I read what you wrote about the no contact rule, and also questions to ask before getting back together with an ex and my mind was blown. I followed your advice to a T and when I was feeling really strong, I contacted him. We ended up meeting for a drink and he said I seemed different, more relaxed and comfortable with myself. We didn’t dive right back in, it was a slow process but it felt so different the second time. I didn’t feel so needy and terrified of losing him and everything just felt different. Anyway, we’ve been going strong for two years now and are looking for a place to move into together and I owe it all to you!”
If you have been going around for some time and he, one day, just introduces you very comfortably to his friends saying, “Meet my girlfriend,” it’s a milestone. It means he has accepted you as an integral part of his life. Malini Shah, counselor and psychologist, explains, “Men normally do not want to give instant commitment so when he introduces you as ‘his girlfriend’ means he is comfortable about his friends knowing your importance in his life. They consider their friends’ opinion important. This shows a sense of acceptance for you and a commitment to let the relationship move ahead.”
Sometimes, there may not be anything you would've done to screw the process up, but she simply isn't ready to talk to you regardless and may even think you have ulterior motives, resulting in her defensive and withdrawing behaviors. Typically when this happens, it means that it is still too soon to be contacting her and you may want to give her more time.
It’s finally happening: you met a man you’re compatible with, you really like him, and the feeling is mutual. He’s showering you with attention, making plans to see you, making time to call you, and generally letting you know that he’s so happy to have found you. How does a man act when he’s falling in love? Just like this—and you’ve never been happier, or more thankful, to have him by your side.
Hey i just have a question about no contact. My ex and I are in a group chat with all of our friends, on snapchat. If i leave that group chat, I lose access to last minute plans and activities that my friends are doing. Unfortunately, he is also in that group chat. I haven't directly answered any of his snaps, yet he still sees everything I send and I see everything he sends. I'm not willing to let go of access to my friends, since they are the only thing keeping my mind off of him. I have been initiating no contact for around 9 days now, so basically, will it affect the effectiveness of no contact if I still see pictures of his face and what he's doing everyday and vice versa? Should I leave just for the no contact period?
Plus, if you don’t lash out with anger or blame, he’ll see that you’re in control of your emotions and that you’re not living and dying with everything he does or doesn’t do – and that will make him want you even more. He’ll know that you’re someone who understands what he needs without letting it affect you too much, and that will show him that you’re someone he can be his true self around.
Thanks, Ryan. The relationship was a very meaningful one in which we helped one another to grow in certain ways. I will be ever thankful for that even if we never succeed together as a couple. I will be just as happy without her as I was with her, and I will be happy for her as long as she is truly happy with her life without me in it. I have no bad blood towards her at all, and cannot, with any of my being, ever bring myself to hate or want to hurt her. I just hope, in all honesty, that no matter what happens, she will be alright. I know that I will.
"How long am I expected to live like this? The days are VERY lonely. It's an unbelievably depressing feeling to wake up and immediately realize that I'm not home, and have no friends or family to talk with … I get up, I meditate, I swim, I go to work, I eat, I lift some weights, I meditate again and go to sleep. Wash, rinse, and repeat. I'm not enjoying work (which would normally be a decent distraction), but feel I can't quit, as I have too many financial responsibilities I have to uphold. I'm amazed I haven't gone mad yet.
Stop being jealous. Being jealous will get you nowhere. Jealousy is associated with fear and anxiety, two unattractive traits to have. Plus, what you're non-verbally telling her is that you want to control her. No one wants to be controlled. So learn to fight your jealousy if you can, and focus on being non-threatening. You'll get more bees with honey than you will with vinegar.
I experienced this just recently with my man as he was really stressed out with work and started being distant. I backed off and did not call or text him. I started letting him do all the work and it only took about a week for him to miss me like crazy. He even said he didn’t know what had come over him but he couldn’t stop thinking about me all day. In that time, I started a new workout and got busy. He loved that and now he’s giving me all this attention again. Don’t be scared to give your man space ladies and do you. It’s healthy and helps you to take better care of you too.
Thank You! Literally, as soon as I posted this he texted me! Crazy. It was just small talk. He said "Hows life" We've only not talked for 2 weeks. smh So nothing has changed for me lol. Nice to know he's doing well. Im going to read your articles/emails each day and hope I can get my baby again. This time in a new relationship even better than the last and permanently! Thank you for your words. That seems to be what im continuing to receive "Do what you want and makes you happy!" and you're right, Egos are toxic. Im learning so much about myself during this process and it's almost exciting. I still have my sad moments in those feelings of the absence of him but yoga, meditation, reading and focusing on my certification has helped! Im rambling, but im thankful there are positive people out there to discuss exes. They're not all bad, we're all human. Thank you so much!
Julia you hit the nail on the head I feel the same way .too many times i have heard its all the woman”s fault let him have his pity party while we set back and feel like crap because they cant handle emotions .well personally i think men should stand up and face things they are no more emotional then we are we need space and time too but do they let us? yes by never coming back because they didnt get the cake and eat it too so they go on to the next and next and the first poor women is left picking up the peaces while him and new women are flying high .i think we need to stop babying them

Reason #4. If you really managed to get back together right now, do you think your relationship would last? It is very unlikely. Neither of you would have changed your behaviors and bad habits. You will just repeat past mistakes. You might be able to force yourself to behave differently for a few weeks but then when things settle down, you go back to your old habits. Then you break up and you will then need to start the grieving process all over.

Many articles on how to get a man to commit tell you to make him laugh, and do fun stuff with him. If you think your man is funny, laugh. If he has achievements, great or small, congratulate him. The phrase that says encouragement sweetens labor can be edequately applied to relationships. Show him that you appreciate his sense of humor, and he will not only feel as the center of attention, but the center of your world; ensure that he always know that you appreciate him. That is one of the ways how to make a man commit and create an unbreakable bond with you. You will become his number one girl, and you showing appreciation and genuine interest in him is what makes him want to commit.
If you are a game player its time to look at the underlying fear that drives your manipulations.  Often therapy can really help uncover and help to heal the old hurts that are getting in the way of a healthy future.  Learning how to love yourself is a process worth undertaking. Don’t wait until failed adult relationships confirm your fear that you really aren’t worthy of love.

Go out with friends and tell him about it. Start having nights out with your friends instead of date nights, and then tell your guy all about how much fun you had. He will probably be happy for you, but he’ll also be a bit jealous of how much fun you can have without him. If you spend a couple weekends having fun with friends, you’re guy will soon start to miss being the person that's having fun with you.
And when you do give him his space, don’t be trying too hard to make him miss you. Don’t be texting him every single second that you’re apart. Don’t be tagging him on random posts on Facebook. Don’t be sending him selfies and snaps of yourself; thinking that this is how you’re going to get him to miss you. The only way he’s ever really going to miss you is if you temporarily excuse yourself from his life.

Since you've already started to push her away with your actions after the breakup, the best thing you can do right now is to give her some space and try to figure out on your own what caused her to end the relationship. If it was a negative aspect of you that made her lose feelings or give up on the relationship, use this time to work on yourself so that you'll be able to reach out as an improved person down the road to see if things can be rebuilt from there.
It's like with dogs or children — you stick to your guns and you politely, patiently repeat the boundaries until they respect them. He gets it or he gets lost. Period. If you truly start to follow this theory, he'll feel how serious you are about being respected, and if he's at all serious about you, he'll get aboard the good boy train very fast. He'll know that if he doesn't, he'll be left at the station!
That's when it can be helpful for him to hear compliments both in and out of the bedroom. Mintz suggests starting outside the bedroom, when you can have what she calls a "kitchen table sex talk" — AKA a lower-stakes time to discuss things that are bothering you in the bedroom without having to be "in the moment" of, well, having sex. That's when your partner can talk about what pressures he's feeling, or what he's self-conscious about. Then, you can boost his confidence.
It’s also really important to take into consideration how often these things are happening, and how long it’s been going on. If you’ve dated for a year and he’s hardly every canceled a date, then all of a sudden over the course of one month he’s canceled on you three times, remember that this is one month out of many! Don’t erase those first 12 months in your mind as if they didn’t happen.

That's when it can be helpful for him to hear compliments both in and out of the bedroom. Mintz suggests starting outside the bedroom, when you can have what she calls a "kitchen table sex talk" — AKA a lower-stakes time to discuss things that are bothering you in the bedroom without having to be "in the moment" of, well, having sex. That's when your partner can talk about what pressures he's feeling, or what he's self-conscious about. Then, you can boost his confidence.


Guys are going to naturally cycle between wanting intimacy and wanting independence. Trying to guess the reason is impossible – some guys want space to reflect on the relationship, some (insecure) guys want space because their friends make fun of them for being “too whipped”, some guys want space because they need time alone to clear their heads and gain clarity in life.
Didn’t talk for a day. And I felt bad. I thought maybe I should wait a few days before I apologize. You know, let the fight fade and have her miss me, much like the no contact period. But I thought, I dont think a second no contact applies here... so i simply messaged her that i was sorry. She ignored my message (left me on read) leaving me feeling like shit. Hours later she replied. Simply said “its ok”.
I’m going through almost the same thing with an almost 2 year relationship.. We lived together for over a year and he is OCD and I’m a clutter/messy person.. I always would say our apartment was too small & couldn’t fit all of our stuff. He just would say that I had too much junk & didn’t clean good enough. :( Anyway we broke up over 10 days ago because he said I couldn’t change. So much stuff was happening with his family (parents moved to another state) and he could see/talk to them anymore. He became depressed, and withdrew emotionally from me. He barely even talked to me. I withdrew from him for a week before the breakup when his friend came over because he was also distant and it created tension between us. I went to my moms the weekend he took his friend home because they wanted boy time. I became clingy the day before he made me leave. I hope your situation worked itself out and you two are together or are working on things! Mine said that we were done for good, I’m not right for him even though he still loves me. I’m just waiting in limbo & silence for him to come back.
What I am going to share with you now is the most common reasons being men’s disappearing acts! As you read through this article, it’s essential that you understand that men are natural born hunters who enjoy the chase. If he is interested in having you as his girlfriend, he will show you this with his actions. Be careful to never settle for a man that isn’t giving you 100% with his actions but is saying everything with his words. This is where a lot of women run into trouble in their search for a good man. Pay attention to his actions more than his words.
Get a guy to commit by being loved by everyone around him. Get on the good side of his parents and friends. This will give him a well needed nudge to make him realize that you are a keeper. Moreover, if they like you, they’ll always be positive around you and spread that positivity onto him as well. They too will give him that nudge. He will love you even more if he sees that the people he loves, are impressed by you. This is one of the greatest goals you need to achieve if you are trying to get him to commit to a relationship. A relationship is only fair and successful if both of your lives are intertwined and fit in like each piece of the puzzle. That’s why you need to take some time to get to know his family and friends, as this will lead you to get to know more about him, and we all know how relatives and friends love to reveal little tid bits from his bachelor life. And we love to hear those, don’t we?
I’ve been separated for 2 years now and was always trying to read about relationships, and understand what went wrong in my situation. So one after another, and onother so so book purchase lead me finally to your book! I pushed myself and finally started dating again. I’m dating this guy for one month now and your articles are absolutely priceless and of a high value to me! I would even really like to have a session of your advice in person, if it’s possible:), maybe you visit Boston any time soon?:)
If you and your ex were in any type of serious relationship, then they will not be able to move on so quickly. In fact, no contact is only going to make them miss you more and remember the good things about you. You have to take a leap of faith over here. The alternative to no contact is being a creep and texting and stalking your ex all the time, which will probably lead to a restraining order against you. You really don’t have much of an option.
My boyfriend and I were so in love and I am still in love with him but he broke up with me due to us fighting a lot and me not aware of how I behave. I was really cruel to him because I took him for granted. We made a lot of future plans in only our third month. We have dated for 7 months but we used to see each other everday that is why we were so connected to each other. But then he said that he was tired of us fighting and I told him that I am aware of my behaviors and will change and go back to our first four months. He does not believe me at all. He said we should be friends and fall in love with others, after some time I will rethink. I really don't want to break up and I can't stand the idea of him being in love with someone else and looking the same way he used to look at me. Tomorrow we are meeting but I am not sure that he is going be nice to me. Our friend group is the same but I don't think this will make a difference. Please help me.

Apologize. Think deeply about anything you did or didn't do that somehow contributed to the downfall of the relationship, and clean the slate by giving your ex a proper apology. Take full responsibility for the offense, without blaming your ex, giving excuses, or expecting an apology (or even forgiveness) in return. It may very well be that your ex contributed to the situation, but you cannot apologize for someone else; you can only apologize for yourself. Leave him or her out of it and odds are the apology will be reciprocated.
If you feel confident at this point that you want things to be serious, go ahead and tell him, Trespicio says. "Explain what kind of relationship you want and why, defining what commitment means for you without giving an ultimatum." If he isn't open to a discussion, let him mull it over for a couple weeks. But if he still doesn't respond when you bring it up again, it may be time to rethink the relationship. "You have to decide which you want more: a guy who's committed or this guy, even if he won't ever be," Trespicio says.
Hi, my boyfriend of 4+ years broke up with me. We went through about 2 months worth of breaking up. Sleeping in motels, gradually moving out back into my step-dads. We were basically married without the paperwork. His family called me their daughter-in-law, we shared bank accounts, bought a car together. And one day after a stupid argument, he woke up and said he wasn't happy. My whole world collapsed. Yeah I know we had problems here and there, but nothing serious enough to actually break-up over. I was shocked. He said he had warned me here and there about things, but I guess I didn't take it seriously enough. Had I known I would have never let this happen. He said he couldn't anymore. I had hurt him too much and he resented me too much to let go and move forward. I feel like I addressed my mistakes and apologized, but he didn't let me show him how I would try to fix them. Now he has finally dropped off the rest of my stuff, and our cat we got together, at the place Im staying at now. When we hugged and said goodbye I could feel him shaking but he still pushed me away. When he walked out the door he did turn around and wave with tears in his eyes, but he still left. He still would rather not be with me, than be with me. I want him back so bad, I know we are good for each other. Im willing to do anything. Will your system work? Should I try anymore? Is there even a chance?

whenever I ask him what’s wrong with him it takes a while before I get just one sentence out of him, this has affected our relationship as communication is being lacked. Ik he’s a guy and doesn’t want to seem vulnerable I understand that but we had a over the text argument more like me yelling at him even though for days I have asked him if we can talk in person so we can settle this in person so no communication is being misinterpreted but all he did was bring up lil excuses not to talk to me or I’d ask him when we would be able to and he’d be like “Idk” and because of that I would overthink everything and then just hold everything in until finally I exploded. I usually hold my tounge with being sweet and patient and I was like that for about 3 days but I was done with him not talking about what is going on with him and us and it all started when I gave him the impression that I didn’t want to be in this relationship anymore. We were in the car and I was jumbling all my feelings and not even knowing what I was saying, I said to him that I wanted some space to get myself together so that I could love myself more for this relationship. And I think all he got from me talking was that I wanted space and that I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him because that’s usually something somebody would say if they wanted to end it slowly without saying “I wanna break up with you”. I shouldn’t of worded it like that but keep in mind I was PMSing to the max and I even told him that was why I freaked out on him and to try to understand not to take anything I say personal or even seriously.


Switch to straightforward communication when you're ready for more. Making him miss you might turn his head initially, but eventually he'll get bored if you wait forever to answer his texts or avoid him for too long between dates. He might also catch on to your plot to make him miss you if you spend too much time bragging about the fun you have without him. Instead of figuring out new ways to make him miss you, try telling him how you really feel.
I’m sorry Eileen, i keep bugging…but he thinks I’m playing mind games w him bc I messed up in the beginning and it was a complete misunderstanding… and said if I don’t get in touch with him that he will find someone else to keep himself from getting depressed. It’s funny bc ever since I been giving him space, he been trying to text and call me alot…this guy is very difficult since I used to push him away bc I felt like I was not good enough for him…I’m trying to b positive
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