I’m not sure what to do at this point. I didn’t reply. I havent since. It has been a day. Is there coming back from this? Is the “its ok” a good or bad thing? Could she be so done that this is now meaningless and doesn’t really matter to her? Or is this a positive “its ok”? What should i do now? Should i try to crawl back in? Should i wait a week? Or is it done? Rn i feel I should wait a few days.. but I don’t know.
Hi I met this girl at work and we started dating for like 6 months she said she love me so much and she feels so comfortable and very happy with me and I felt the same way too, everything about us was good. We planned of living together and our future too, suddenly I just knew that she has a boyfriend for almost 3 years now. Few days ago she told me that she don’t wanna continue dating me bcos of her boyfriend. I really don’t know what to do at this time I really love her. I wanna know what should I do in this kind of situation?
Your girlfriend wants to know that you have eyes for her only.  She needs to know why you chose to be with her.  And she wants to see that you will be loyal to her.  Most woman worry that you will tire of them, move on or become unfaithful.  By expressing why you are with her, she will feel more secure in the relationship and that you are not going anywhere.
Once you're in the bedroom (and aware of his insecurities), remind him of how much you enjoy being intimate. For example, if he's worried about his weight, maybe give him a sexy once-over and tell him how how buff he looks naked. Other key areas to compliment: His gut, as men often worry about the size of it (and other measurable parts), and their hair, as guys tend to feel self-conscious once they start losing it.

Hello! I have the following problem. Me and my wife are together for 7 years. We had a 4 years old girl. We had our ups and downs but we had a very good relationship. Two years ago she met some colleague of her from another city on some business trip. She cheated on me after a while. I found out in her messages that but she lied to me, she accused me of mistrust and other staff like that. I decided to believe her and move on. I even propose to her. Everything was perfect the last year or I though so. The last winter I cough her again and then this summer. They met each other not more than 3 4 times, for that I am sure. He is living in another city, he is a lot older than we are, he has wife and kid too. Most of the time they chat to each other via messenger. In june I left our home for a couple of weeks but she couldn`t take care as I wanted for our kid and our home. So I moved back because I want to look after my kid. We are back together for the last two months more as a parents and roommates than a couple. She is saying she loves me but she is not in love with me and she love the other guy although they cant have anything serious besides seeing 2 times in the year. I think I feel the same way but I want to make it right for our kid. What could I do. I know I love her and can live with her till rest of my wife. I want to reconnect with her in a real way, to restore trust and to build a new relation. I saw that system isn`t working if we are living together. So what should I do.
“Men are so used to being pursued when they’re trying to gain perspective that he’s going to be shocked you’re giving him the space he wants. He’ll realize that you’re different from most other women he’s dated, in a good way” – Good doesn’t begin to cover it. I would be ecstatic and incredulous that my partner is actually willing to let me do what I need to do to be myself, with no ulterior motive.
I need advice though. During one breakup he slept with someone else and came back saying how he realized he was in love with me etc. Although we were technically broken up we were still seeing and spending time with each other. Also being intimate. I’m really trying to move past this but his most recent pulling away has made me insecure and really psycho. We’re both older 39 and 41 professionals. His job is much more consuming and he has a lot in his life right now but says I add additional stress when really I just need reassurance (I know I have my own issues).
Rachel, I’m a lot older than you. I’ve been through serious relationships, local and long distance. Bottom line, long distance doesn’t work. It’s not a relationship. I would say the only exception to this is if you’re already truly married, nothing else is wrong, and one of you has to travel for work. Still, that can only be temporary – the two of you have to reunite, want to reunite, and it happens.

WOW! WOW! WOW! Guys, seriously this article should be preached (especially the fourteenth one haha). My boyfriend and I are together for two years now and he’s taking me to prom this year. So excited I’m gonna pass out!!! He’s a pretty tough guy and you gotta have patience with him, but he sure knows how to pull some romance tricks on me like flowers before school or my biggest addiction – chocolate. And now I can pay him back.
Found out a guy who I was secretly in love with for 9’years also had feelings for me. He reached out to me first and we connected immediately (even though We had been aquentinces) . Intense chemistry, he was telling me within weeks that he was falling for me, that he would go through his horrible divorce all over again of it meant being with me, how beautiful I am, how refreshing it is to have someone who gets his large family and who already knows them, included me in days with his daughter, we slept together 2x, he would… Read more »

So I’d like to preface this by saying I’m a woman and my ex-fiancée is a woman as well. I do find most of this page to apply, but it is challenging having two women with all of that emotion and overthinking. I’ve finished with the no contact period after my ex broke up with me, and contacted her with my “elephant in the room” message. I know she’s in the “missing phase” from texts she’s sent me, and thought it was the perfect time to send it. I am in a good place and am feeling more positive every day. I was prepared for the possibility of her responding, and how to close the conversation before giving her a few days of digestion. However, I was not prepared for her response. My message included: an apology for my behavior after the breakup, that I accepted the breakup and think it was for the best, and my positive change. Her response was “I’m glad you’re doing well. I’m not.” I’m thrown off by this, because I’m almost worried that she’s under the impression I’m moving on (although I never said anything of the sort), and she seems almost upset at my message. I’m unsure on how to respond to this- hoping you can offer me some advice. I could be totally overthinking this, but we were together for five years and I know her very well and can decipher texts. But now that we’re broken up, I could just be analyzing too much. Please help! I really don’t want to screw this up :)


honestly I did not show appreciation to my ex while we together. I missed valentines day and his birthday. when I decided to make the best of times with him it was to late. then I asked him for closure and he came talked in person. I told what if I got therapy because there is something going on that effects my relationships. he told its been three weeks and I’m over you….. I cried of course then looked at him and said I feel better. just got sick of being sad, doesn’t mean I’m over him. but its step. then I told me what was really going on and told he’s proud of me said I’m strong person and good girl. he told me to feel free to talk to him and said he wont be jerk to me. he also wants to improve. it sucks that I was to occupied with other stuff in life that i didn’t learn to understand him but oh well. that doesn’t mean has feelings for me. sadly I cant live in world that revolves around him I must create my own world and keeping living up to my goals. this relationship may have been painful but helped realize what I need. we are blind from pain because only look at the bad qualities that it brings us but we all need realize its actually beautiful because it shapes us. I’m going to embrace it this break up..
If you really want your guy to finally commit to being in a relationship, you have to make commitment look like something that will be fun, light and carefree. No guy will agree to being in a relationship with a woman who is always sad, depressed and starting petty arguments with him. So every time the two of you hang out, make sure you’re doing something fun! A friendly bowling match, a round of miniature golf or checking out the latest movie are all fun date ideas that will keep your guy happy and with a smile on his face. Once he associates you with all things fun and easygoing, committing will no longer be something he dreads.
I dont know what to write to him! NC is almost over and he has no social media so he has no idea what I’ve been doing. He also hasn’t contacted me which is okay. I’ve jotted down tons of ideas for my first email to him but I’m very scared. Hes always suspicious of people so I dont want to sound too needy or like I’m trying to use him. He might think if I’m messaging him a month later that I want to use him…hes stubborn as hell as well.
Treat yourself to a new make up look, dress up for him, or get a new haircut. It will leave you attractive and unforgettable in your boyfriend’s eyes and mind even after you leave. He’ll start thinking of you and wanting to be closer to you. This will work especially if you’re getting attention from other guys around you. So, invest in yourself and make yourself feel good to make your guy miss you.
Whether she talks a lot or is on the quiet side, ALL women want to be heard. If you’re not the greatest listener, get to work on these skills. First, put away the phone. Second, focus on what she’s saying and how she’s feeling. Third, ask questions to clarify and draw her out. Finally, reflect back on what you’ve heard in your own words. You’ll show her how important she is to you.

I was in a relation with my ex for 3 years 9 months.It was a long distance relationship and he used to meet me every thursday - sun. Our parents knew about us and we were planning to get married soon. Few months back I noticed that he had been talking a lot with my roommate. I tried asking him indirectly about them but he always used to say that there is nothing. When it was too obvious, I asked him directly and he broke off with me on watsapp. He told me that I am immature and he loves me a lot but I'm like a kid for him. I asked him for a months chance and he said there is nothing left in him to try for me, but still I wanted to try and sort things out. In between that I found out that he had proposed to my roommate. He said he had feelings for her after breakup as he was lonely and he feels that she understands him well. My roommate said that initially she didnt love him but was only talking to him to sort things out between us , in spite of me warning her not to interfere. I love him too much and I did few things which were not supposed to, like begging him to be with me and trying to separate my ex and my roommate. My roommate is undergoing divorce and my ex says that both should get a second chance to be happy again. My roommate doesn't know if they have a future together. Few days back he called me and was explaining me that i should let go of him and move on.I know he loves me a lot and I also love him a lot and I believe that we can work on the communication and understanding issues between us. Please help me to get back with my ex. I have started the NC rule, but do you think there is a chance for us to be together? My ex and my roommate have been officially together since last 3 weeks and he has stopped visiting me and her.

(The underlying point this article/system is hidden between the lines. It's meant to craft you into a confident person, ever deeper than that, it's actually preparing you to be able to ACTUALLY move on. With this new found image and confidence, you may discover that time spent with a person doesn't justify their actions, and you may see that there are better matches out there, and you're now prepared.)


So there’s two angles this must be approached from. Firstly, both of you must be open, vulnerable and directly honest about everything that is happening with each of you. You must use honesty to force yourpartner to accept who you are. If they don’t, leave them, to create space for someone who will. Secondly, both must create an agreement of openness, whereby each will not punish honesty but will work to accept it.
This is one of the best comments I’ve read here Shirley. While I don’t think these articles are trying to blame us for the reason why men pull away. They do always seem to be like “oh he’ll come around”. Maybe in the land of unicorns and rainbows he will. In reality if the guy has made up his mind that they don’t want to be with you anymore no amount of space will make him change it. My ex ain’t coming back to me after his vanishing act. Was seeing him for a few months. Everything was fine until I didn’t want to have sex on the couch when he wanted me to after that I didn’t hear too much from him. Is he coming back to me? Probably not. Not unless he can’t find anything better. I wasn’t needy in that relationship. I only got pissed off when I hadn’t heard from him in a few weeks which I thought was a bit out of character. Then I tried to find out what was up and got zilch. His silence spoke pretty loudly.
So you’ve just met a new guy, and things are going really well. He takes you out regularly for fun dates, the chemistry is explosive, and you can really see a future with him. There’s just one problem: he won’t commit to being in a relationship. As a matter of fact, every time you bring up the idea of the two of you becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, he clams up, changes the subject, or he tells you he just isn’t ready to be in a relationship.
I have been with this boy for almost two years now. I may be judged for putting this out as right now I am 13 going on 14 but I can tell you we have an accual relationship as all adults do. Some things are different of course but the fact that we have been almost two years strong should tell you something. I have been upset lately because I’ve been dealing and doing these things to my boyfriend and this has crossed my mind and I came here for help so I am going to try this out. I hope I can recive some positive comments back of support and advise. Please no judgement for my age. I can honestly tell you, my parents fight and have a less mature relationship at times then we do. I only seek support and advise. Thank you.
There could be a variety of reasons for her hot and cold behavior, and its hard to speculate what it might be. I would suggest continuing to text her but try to liven up the conversation topics whenever possible, and back away whenever she becomes cold so as to not end up overthinking and confronting her about it. Give her some room to ease back into this a step at a time, and try not to build up your expectations right now or get emotional if she doesn't respond the way you want her to.
btw I got stuck in this funny situation I don’t know if it’s possible but can you or your staff delete my comment stating my story ( on august 19, 2018) ? A friend of mine is suggesting this site for me and I’m too afraid that she may read my comment here she will instantly know it’s me .. Im so totally busted if that happens hahahaha pretty please help mee all of my NC plan will go to nothing if this happen cause she’s pretty close to my ex and I can’t really trust her mouth LOL..
Even though this one may be hard to swallow because we value ourselves so highly as women and no one likes a blow to the ego or rejection, it’s important to talk about. Often times a man will show you signals of commitment but not want to commit to getting to know you. There are two principal reasons for this. Either they just don’t have interest in you and don’t want to hurt your feelings, or you fell in love too easily and they lost interest in the chase of getting their “prize”. I will go deeper into the meaning of the chase and the “prize” as we move along this article.

In an effort to resuscitate an already dysfunctional relationship, women will frequently make the fatal error of bluffing. Your girlfriend will repeatedly threaten to break up with you in order to scare you into changing (for the record I wholeheartedly disagree with this method, but that discussion is for another article), hoping you will prove your love by doing anything to make her happy. It never works, and you rarely take her threats seriously. So you break up.


I would add one additional observation, backed up by research findings. When couples have strong skills for talking cooperatively over differences, they find collaborative solutions to "those annoyng little ticks." Often the solution comes just from more understanding of each other; sometimes small changes that each are glad to make also help enormously.

It’s also giving him the impression that he doesn’t have to put in any work for you.  And, let me fill you in on a little secret: men–well really, people in general — value that which they’ve worked for. Imagine how you would feel if you won an award just because they were pulling names out of a hat versus if you won a trophy for something you worked for. Getting a lottery prize is always nice, but getting a reward for hard work is more satisfying.
If you have been going around for some time and he, one day, just introduces you very comfortably to his friends saying, “Meet my girlfriend,” it’s a milestone. It means he has accepted you as an integral part of his life. Malini Shah, counselor and psychologist, explains, “Men normally do not want to give instant commitment so when he introduces you as ‘his girlfriend’ means he is comfortable about his friends knowing your importance in his life. They consider their friends’ opinion important. This shows a sense of acceptance for you and a commitment to let the relationship move ahead.”
Dear Lauren, My ex broke up with me about 3 weeks ago and I just started no contact about a week ago. We were dating over 3 years. I have a college class with her and ironically sit next to her. How do I continue no contact when I see her everyday? The night before she decided to move out she told me she wanted us. The next night she went out after work and told me we were done, and she never came home. We had been living together for over a year now and finally moved into our own place. I'm pretty sure she slept with a guy she had been casually seeing from work the night before she never came home. I know she slept with him and I know we are over but I was her only sexual partner ever. How do I get her to see the good times we had and miss me? I really want her back and think we can be stronger than ever. ...
It seems that relationships become completely different things over time. An initial relationship has completely different values from a 'vintage' relationship. Furthermore a relationship has different values depending on your age. When relationships being, both partners have a distorted impression of each other. They are high on emotion and are in the attraction stage thus those annoying little ticks that drive you insane are unnoticeable under all of the excitement. The middle stage is withdrawal. The chemicals start to ebb after about 2 years and this is where the rationalization arguments begin. Where you argue because you are irritated and project your withdrawal on to your partner because they are no longer on the pedestal that you yourself put them. Now this where most people say good bye, or sometimes through some sense of duty and loyalty they never resolve the problems they just endure them and the unhappy relationship continues. Some others they reach another plane of a relationship. Where that person becomes a part of you. You have gone through the withdrawal and now you are life partners you are one body. In this throw away world, not enough people have enough humility or self awareness to reach this level. They are too busy trying to find their next fix after during the withdrawal phase. Sad...
It is necessary that you make your presence felt and should not become dormant. You should not at all indulge in verbal or physical abuse. You need to make yourself a little strong and be the voice of reason when the situation is chaotic. Be calm and listen to all that he has  to say and offer all that will help the situation, even if it is simply sympathy that you can offer.

I was in a serious relationship for 2 years and we broke up almost 2 years back.My boyfriend cheated on me, he ignore me for several months and left me with nothing, i could not get over him as the reason for break up was he fell in love with someone else at his work place,.after few months of depression and sadness.I feel used and miss him a lot.I tried to make up with him multiple times, trying to talk to him but everything failed and I don’t know what to do.He told me that he has stopped thinking about me, I tried to act normal, I feel confused and worse because I end up seeing him everyday.It just bugs me that he has moved on pretty quickly and I am feeling rejected and dejected.but i am happy today that GREAT MUTABA brought my boyfriend back, I am so happy, Now my boyfriend is all mine again.I’m happy again Great help from Great Mutaba, I truly believe in him and his work.he is a professional.I really enjoyed the result which i got, his love spell is marvelous, he is truly gifted, his love spell has brought me happiness, I am extremely pleased, it worked, he has the most powerful love spell, I recommend anyone who need hisor her Ex-lover back should search GREAT MUTABA on google or search him anywhere he is Very trustworthy..
×