Hi Eric, I have situation that you’ve probably dealt with. I was seriously dating /living with the love of my life and we were so inove that we wouldn’t even consider anyone else. We were together for a yr and 5 months when an ex-friend ( homewrecker) began conversing with him in posts on social media. I trusted him, so nenever thought there would be risk. He ended up leaving me for her, moved in with her, and has been playing “step-dad” to her rotten kids. We’ve tried several times to work it out because he says he knows he hurt me, he screwed up and now he loves 2 women and he’s confused and has not been able to choose. He knows she wrecked us but can’t seem to get completely back to me. He even calls her stupid, and says he’s miserable with her. Now, I’m not so stupid as to not know that actions speak louder than words, but I love him and want to put us back together. She will never be the woman that I am and I think part of him feels sorry for her while I do not!! She has always been extremely jealous of me, but I’m in NO way jealous of her. Can you offer any advice? I know this is the condensed version of too many details to list…I wish I could talk to you. I believe there is hope as I know men at 46 go through mid life crises. At 45 myself though, I know what I want…hope to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks…
hi,my girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me about 2 weeks ago..we had a very close/ steady and intimate relationship. we are staying quite far from each onther but we have manage to keep our relationship on track. she is a very active person and was selected to participate in a choir. They went to another city for 3 weeks and during that time we had an argument and someone saw the crack and got close to her. She just send me an sms saying we over and that she moved on with her life..I re aly love my girlfriend and i did everythng wrong on getting her back..besides the distance between us, i cannot handle this situation...please help me on getting my girlfriend back. Besides being boyfriend and girlfriend, we were friends.We shared everythng and i mean everthing.She was the first person i call in the morning and the last one when we go to bed at night.
There is a notion out there that relationships are hard and filled with struggle. And while I concede that there will be times when disagreements will arise or less than pleasurable situations may happen that need to be dealt with, that’s not the kind of struggle I’m talking about. I’m talking about the notion that there needs to be a tug of war between two people… that you need to try with all your might and then maybe the guy will see the light and come over to your side. Regardless of whether or not you really like a guy, or if he really wants you back, your interactions are what they are. There’s no fantasy to bring to reality, no wishes and wants to come to fruition… it already is as it is.
Contemporary relationship for men can be very challenging. For one, the relationships between men and women have radically transformed in the last 50 years with women striving for personal development, and men often unsure of the role to play with women partners. Relationships require new ways of thinking and growing to be sustained and flourishing.
So I met this guy about 3 weeks ago online and if was very much like the scenario you showed in your video. At least for the first week. I was then out of town for a week preparing to move my stuff to another state. He flew out to hel0 me drive the truck. However, since returning, it feels like he’s pulling away. I’m giving him the space, but I fear he won’t come back. Any suggestion?
You know something is wrong if you are always crying or feeling bad about what has happened and you can quite get over it. You also know it can be frustrating when you can seem to figure out what to text or what to say to your ex bf. Well, the solution is you can join my Private Facebook Support Group and/or pick up your copy of the Texting Bible and get the emotional support and answers your need.
It motivated me to search for a job even more, to subscribe to a sport to meet new people and make friends, to give him the freedom and the life he was asking for. A few days after, we went to a party and i gave him his space, made friend with other girls, I was doing great but he started talking with his former booty call right in front of me, which of course, made me feel so bad and jealous. So I ignored him the rest of the night. But I apologised the day after and it was ok.
a. Learning from the affair: Peter wrote out the series of misteps that he had allowed himself to take down the road to sexual betrayal. He listed what had motivated each step — and also what would have been far better options for responding to his concerns at each point in the pathway. He identified the specific situational, thoughts and feeling cues that triggered each step, and the alternative action he would take in the future in response to each cue.
As an older man, I’m not sure if I can explain what’s happening and how relationships have changed over the past 40 years or so. Young men, like my son and his friends, view relationships differently from their fathers and are in the process of changing the relationship landscape forever. In my day, marriage was assumed and divorce was rare. Today, divorce is assumed, along with alimony and marriage, is to be avoided at all costs. Your boyfriends might not be pulling away from you as much as they are pulling away from a society that views them as disposable… Read more »
Of course, giving him space is really just the first step… but when it comes down to it there are 2 big problems every woman experiences in her relationships with men – so pay attention because what you do next is vitally important. The first problem you’re probably going through: if you’re already interested in a man and you feel he might be losing interest, going cold, or pulling away then you need to read this right now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
None of this is to excuse men pulling away, and this covers only some men. But it does explain why many, many men feel more comfortable with their “hanging buddies” — who are in all the same predicaments they are — more than they feel comfortable with they women in their lives. I think many men both desire and feel profoundly uncomfortable with women, and terrified of being judged. Because they’ve already judged themselves.
Well, Eric Charles is the guy and he promotes the masculine behavior. For God sake, women, our message is clear what we want in a relationship. I am tired that we are always trying to please those guys and etc. The reality is that guys behave as they want and we need to adjust to their particular needs. All those articles say that we need to understand their mindset and how they function so that we could finally find a happy relationship. We basically have to play games. Men are really complicated. Women are very simple. If they want something they say. shhh!!! watch out!! If you say this, the poor guy will be frightened. He does not want to commit. Do not make love with him because he will get what he wants and again he will not want to commit. Jesus! Then, why they do not try to understand how women function and to adjust. Most men are absolutely idiots when it comes to the relationship. We women can give some classes to our sons so that at least new men generation would be more aware of the subject which is “women”.
My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me in August, reason being she felt I don’t need her. I basically did all the things deadly mistake you mentioned above before i found this website. Affection, angry, begging, name calling etc you named it, I already done that. I realized my mistakes now. she recently blocked me from message and call her, whatsspp etc. she said she doesn’t want me anymore and move on. what should i do to win her back?
It’s pretty widely known that when a man is stressed, he retreats to his “man cave.” However, there is a big difference between knowing something and really understanding it. Most women have a hard time accepting that this is how men deal with issues because when we are having a difficult time, our first instinct is to talk about it and seek comfort from friends or loved ones.
Long distance relationship, We dead-loved each other for one year and then I broke up. She left immediately and I missed her for two weeks and texted back. Three months I didnt care, She kept texting and called. slowly she came up with this breakup thing. All of a sudden she declared breakup and I couldnt digest it. I begged her for 2 weeks. Will she get back? How long should I wait?
Been trying to slowly get my long distance ex back since January, and we’re on speaking terms again now, and even though that’s a huge step forward, I still have doubt. He’s always been a kind of distant person, and since he first reached out to me like 2 months back, I have initiated all conversations since then. I’m suspecting that’s what you call the hot and cold-treatment? Still, I really wanna get him to open up and finally realize that he loves me after all. If y’all have any more tips, I’d love to hear them.
No matter how much you might love one another; no matter how close the both of you are going to get in your relationship, you should both still maintain your individuality. You’re still going to want to have your time to your individual selves. You will want occasional solitude and isolation. You will want to be left alone with your thoughts. And if he asks you for space, then you should always be willing to give it to him. If you don’t give him space, how is he ever going to miss having you around in the first place?
Maybe your past relationships haven’t turned out like you wanted them to, or you feel like every date in the past month was a lemon. Well, get over it. “It’s still up to you to open your heart—and keep it open. This can be scary because you don’t want to get hurt. However, in order to grow and connect, you must be available and vulnerable,” says Mills.
In 2012, my little brother Adam died. My life shattered, and I spent the next month drunk in bed. It had been four years since Mary and I had spoken, but it spoke volumes to me that she came out of the woodwork to send me a handwritten note expressing her sorrow for Adam’s death. Through everything—the fights, the skipped plans, the immaturity—she found it in herself to reach out to me. I was blown away, and she was back in my life. We learned that we only lived a few blocks away from each other, and that is how we started dating for the fourth and final time. Once again we started seeing each other as friends. We always met up at this one café in the Lower East Side. I’d get a coffee, and she’d get a bagel.
Hi, my girlfriend of 3 months finally came over to my home to find out I live with my Mom. She never knew this before. She brought a bottle over, so she clearly wanted to finally have sex with me. We went to a restaurant instead because I told her my Mom is sick and I take care of her. At the restaurant, I was talking to her about log term commitment and marriage possibly. She was recently divorced with kids. I notice she never invites me to functions with her kids. We normally do stuff together with just the 2 of us. She is kind of defiant and rebellious just for the record. So, I get this text 3 days later after she comes over about wanting to break up with me because I want a long term relationship and she wants friends with benefits. I told her I was cool with friends w/ benefits too but she insists on the break up. She has a history of making excuses when she doesn't want to go to an event via text, so I don't know if the marriage questions caused the break up or was it really the mom situation/ her wanting sex. Your thoughts, what should I do to get her back??? How do I know if ever which it was?
Hi Eric,i really need ur advice thrs a guy whom i love i ve alrdy askd him out we’ve meet twice bt iam very serious about him..he said he does not want to b in a relationship..as he just had a break up wth smbdy…bt he also sayss that he will never let me go things would be the same as wen ur in relationship just it wont be official..but niwdays i feel he gets irritated while speakn online…i want him to be mine forevr…wat should i do to get him commit nd love me….
You shouldn't put yourself into that situation and let yourself be talked into thinking that it was entirely your fault. Ultimately he was the one who cheated, and you had every right to walk away from that. If he thinks you should be fighting for him at this point, he definitely has not seen any of his issues yet, nor does he seem emotionally mature enough to handle you coming back into his life. However, if you want to give this another try (and make it work this time), you're going to have learn to be firm and respect yourself and the boundaries you are willing to accept, before you reach out to him. If not, there's a good chance where he steps on you again or does something to hurt you unknowingly.
If he has met a rebound, he would care less instead about you coming to pick your things, but the fact that he reacted this way means there's a hint of feelings remaining (whether it's positive or negative is yet to be determined) and does not seem ready to face you yet. Perhaps continue to keep things on a casual note, and subsequently first address the relationship and why it failed before proceeding with collecting your stuff or meeting him.
A week ago my boyfriend of 7 years told me that he wasn’t in love with me anymore. That he still cared and loved me but that he wasn’t happy and the spark was gone. He was my whole world, this has been the hardest thing I have ever done. The problem is that we have to still share an apartment together for another month until I can get my own. I have been trying to stay busy and thinking positive thoughts. But it’s hard when you still have to see him.
I was with my ex for two years, after he propose we decided to have kids, a month later I was pregnant. Then everything goes down since then, all the negative things happened. After I giving birth, he told me he didn't love me anymore. I was depressed and breakdown. and he broke up with me when our son was 3 months old. He has depression and back then he switched off his feelings became extremely cold. now he says he still love me, I was someone special that he wanted to have kids with. we broke up last April, and last December he started a new relationship, they are together still. but the thing is we are still living together for some reasons that we have to for a while, maybe another year.( his gf doesn't live with us) I always keep the house tidy and he appreciates what I have done.
My girlfriend of two years has left me again (after doing the same thing about two months prior). The last time I had began to move on even though I really didn't want to. She contacted me and said she was shocked by how fast I was moving on and she proceeded to make me believe she wanted me back. Two weeks ago she did the same again - ended it after telling me she "hates me", doesn't love me or fancy me. It's all very out of the blue and I'm acting desperate and needy right now, it's awful. I feel like I'm going mad and I just don't know what to do. I love her but I feel like it's a lost cause.
Something else to mention here. In most cases if you are ultimately able to get your ex back, it is most likely going to happen when you see her face-to-face. That’s because you can affect a girl’s emotions better face-to-face. Because remember, as a woman she makes her love-life decisions based on emotion – so that’s why any getting back together will most likely happen face-to-face.
Since you've already started to push her away with your actions after the breakup, the best thing you can do right now is to give her some space and try to figure out on your own what caused her to end the relationship. If it was a negative aspect of you that made her lose feelings or give up on the relationship, use this time to work on yourself so that you'll be able to reach out as an improved person down the road to see if things can be rebuilt from there.
If your ex has fallen into the friend zone (for example, if he or she says "I'm no longer in love with you"), you might be able to recreate the experience of falling in love by building intimacy with your ex. In one study, a researcher had two strangers stare into each other's eyes and then answer personal questions (like "What is your biggest fear?" and "What is your best memory from childhood?"). They were able to create an intimate bond between the strangers, creating attraction and even the feelings of love. Try spending time looking into your ex's eyes and asking deep questions and see if this helps move your relationship back into intimate territory.
Regardless of how a relationship ends, all breakups result in the same thing: Every guy on the planet -- seriously, every f*cking guy -- will wait until their exes have moved on from their relationships to want their exes back. This fact is so universally predictable that women anticipate and LIVE for the day when they have moved on and feel unaffected by their ex-boyfriends' efforts to win back their love. We basically fantasize about it.
My ex ended this 1st April (nearly a month ago). I begged. After day 1 he wanted to talk. After a week he never wanted to see me again. I did NC for 4 days until my sister told him to message me (I got sexually assaulted and needed emotional support). He messaged me. He seemed off. We spoke every day. Well I went one day (a couple of times) not replying. I found out I was pregnant. I told him. He was good about it. He told me to get rid of it. I got scared. Basically I messaged him saying I can’t. We argued about me needing him and he said he doesn’t know what to do. Yesterday I said I’m bored of feeling hated. I need my friend back. He said he doesn’t hate me. I went on about feeling hated and being scared of the abortion. I asked if he could see me. He YELLED at me. I ignored him (which is what he wanted me to do all month he even said I went crazy) but 10 minutes later he messaged me back calmer and with this solution: He said I could see him (in Germany) if I get the abortion and it’ll be the last time we ever see each other and we can have a proper goodbye. I went on saying I want to see him before. It ended up him saying he did hate me. I killed the guy I dated (because I said I missed what he used to be like). I messaged him yesterday and he said I can go and see him after the abortion. I asked if he still had access to my Facebook account he said no. I said I hope he is well. Also he told someone that he couldn’t stand me earlier today. Should I initiate NC properly now? Is there any hope? Why would he start off saying he didn’t hate me and now does? Why would he double message after I ignored him when he yelled? I’m so confused please help me.
Be mysterious and surprising. If you are a complete open book when you first meet a guy, it won’t leave him with anything to be surprised by. Instead, you should tell an interesting fact about yourself each time you get together. This will leave your guy wanting to hear more about you, and waiting to find out what new thing he'll learn next. Be spontaneous with him. If you usually go to dinner for dates, invite him on an adventure like rock climbing one day. This spontaneity will excite him and keep him guessing at what you’ll want to do next.
Wallah awesome advices I’ve been with my guy more than a year now even f we r in different culture he always telling me it doesn’t matter and when I answered ur quizzes it just like a test paper also been told by my guy for me ur ryt it’s about inner self must know not just bcz d eyes want to see…and I’m satisfied and happy with my friends guy bcz he is God fearing and teach me lot more of faith values which really was a different from my culture..ALLAH bless U Eric may U continue help people who r in need of advices regarding love and the likes….
My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago we were together 5 months. We would meet each other once/twice a week due to work schedules. He would always keep in touch every day via text or a call. We would be texting numerous times a day and most of the time it would always be him texting me. He seemed to be making no effort to meet up on last 2 weeks it was always me suggesting we meet which we did. When I suggested we both make more of an effort to meet up more regularly. He broke it off saying we both in different places and thats how he feels. Found out 2 days ago he has gone on holiday with a female friend. He tried to keep texting after we broke up as if nothing was wrong so I asked him to stop. I have had no contact with him since I asked him to stop. Going to concentrate on myself for now and refrain from contacting him. Guess what I would like to know is there any hope in getting him back.
When a man pulls away, try not to take it personally. Believe me, I know this is way easier said than done. Everything is going great, you start to think this guy could be the one and then boom, he disappears for what seems to be no apparent reason. If you can relate to this, it probably isn’t your fault. Although it’s impossible to give an exact reason why he pulled away, most of the time it’s his own personal issue’s. If it’s really bugging you, there’s an amazing guide by Slade Shaw. He shows you why men lose interest… Read more »
This is one of the main differences between men and women when it comes to relationships. Men are more in the moment and are able to comfortably enjoy a situation for what it is as it is. Women are always looking for ways to improve the relationship and push it forward. It’s not that one gender has it right and the other has it wrong. There needs to be a balance between enjoying the present and comfortably laying the foundation for a future. It just can’t be done forcefully.
Finding a spouse using pornography is a top reason couples seek counsel, but it shouldn't be overreacted to or pathologized, Dr. Kort says. First of all, sex addicts only represent 3-6% of the population, so it's unlikely your man is one. Plus, because childhood experiences influence sexuality as an adult, people are very idiosyncratic about what turns them on, Dr. Kort says. "So no woman can, nor should be, everything to a man."
#2 He lacks the skills to effectively communicate. If there is something on his mind or something that is bothering him and he doesn’t know how to express it to you, then he might start to push you away. The biggest problem in this situation is that he’s often unaware himself of what is going on, how to explain it, or how to fix it. Lacking in the capacity to express his feelings or needs, a man often decides that the whole thing is too much trouble and will retreat instead of dealing with it.
I hope you can help me with this. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 months now. Things started out great but the last couple of weeks I’ve been kind of moody and on edge due to stressing over finding a job. This weekend I tried to get him to stay with me but he said he would have to work, but wasn’t sure about Saturday due to a possible lack of a ride. So I asked him if I could pick him up Saturday or if he wanted to wait to see me till Sunday. He told me he would just see me Sunday that he didn’t know if he had stuff to do Saturday. Is it possible that I’ve been pushing him away and he’s wanting space or looking to break up with me, or am I just over thinking this whole thing?
She said that once she finishes everything she was doing we would talk, that she needed space for herself...And the same day she did finish I noticed that she did unblock me. I didn't initiate that day, but the day after and late like 8 or 9pm, being casual, asking how the studies and the project went. She was very short and I congratulated and she replied with a simple "thanks"...Then she asked me about my day an hour later. We did talk for a bit and she was talkative, I was able to say that I was doing therapy to overcome my fears, that I knew the origin of them now and afterwards I just said sorry to her for what hapenned between us and she was like "it is ok now, things happen for a reason, you have to look forward now and be happy with yourself", things like that...I did leave it for a bit but I told her that there were a thousand things I wanted to tell her but that I knew I had to shut up, and she said "I told you, once I finish up we could talk, if you are going to feel better do tell me", and I told her that I would like to meet in person to talk and she agreed.
If something is wrong, the other person probably can’t read your mind. When a problem comes up, speak up at the right time. One study suggests young couples are less stressed when they talk out their issues than when they keep their feelings bottled up. And don’t forget to say, “I love you.” Expressing emotions—positive and negative—can benefit that bond.
When you take a relationship that is brand new and start thinking that it’s something, or forcing it to be more than it is, it’s game over. Your vibe will become man repelling and before long, he’ll be gone and you will be left baffled, analyzing what exactly you did to drive him away. But you won’t ever find the answer, because it isn’t concrete and measurable.
It may be cliché, but a new makeover will do wonders to make him miss you. This is especially effective if the man you’re missing is an ex. Maybe you get a new haircut, treat yourself to a new make-up look at the mall, or sport a sexy, new outfit. Not only will the new look make you feel great about yourself, you will have that special someone want you back. Make sure that you go somewhere you know that he’ll be to show off the new you. If he sees you looking great it’s going to make him start thinking of you and wanting to be closer to you. This will work especially well if you’re getting attention from others around you guys. Of course if you aren't into getting a full on makeover then try a new hairstyle or switch up your usual lipstick color. This will get him thinking about how much you've moved on.
In this article, I am going to walk you through a step by step process on why these issues may happen. I ask for you to not only read but take the time to see if any of these situations sit with you. Once you notice a situation that has occurred for you previously or currently I want you to ask yourself where this is coming from? I work with many clients and this is the most common thing woman face these days. I invite you to share your comments below and I will personally answer questions you may have and try to give you my advice tailored to the question you’ve asked. I love hearing from you so please feel free to post a comment.
We human beings have a built in radar. We pick up on body language and we also use our intuition. We all have it…men and women. In this case, these women are simply picking up on his lack of authenticity. He’s not truly being himself. He’s approaching these women from an energy of “what can I get away with?” And these women intuitively know it. We would typically call a guy like this a “player” however, another way to look at it is that he is not behaving in alignment with who he is inside and, what he is really wanting is an activity partner because it is safe. He doesn’t want a relationship simply because he is not yet ready to let some of his walls down.
I did the NC rule according to your plan for 30 days after I moved out. I contacted him via messenger, I just kept it causal, asking him how he was and how work was. He also came over with some stuff to my new apartment, stuff that I had forgot when I moved out. The meeting went well, although he had a mutual friend with him, which I thought was strange since it was the first time we met since we broke up. Anyway, he contacted me just about 20 mins after he left, saying how nice my new apartment was, some improvements I could do and so on.
So you’ve just met a new guy, and things are going really well. He takes you out regularly for fun dates, the chemistry is explosive, and you can really see a future with him. There’s just one problem: he won’t commit to being in a relationship. As a matter of fact, every time you bring up the idea of the two of you becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, he clams up, changes the subject, or he tells you he just isn’t ready to be in a relationship.
When I start digging around, it doesn’t take long before one partner mentions porn. It usually goes something like this, “I know all guys watch porn, but it has occurred to me there there might be an addiction.” One female client recently told me that she came home from work to find Post-its covering her face in all of their framed photos. It turned out that her partner had been masturbating to Internet porn and was so embarrassed, he couldn’t look at her.
Have you ever caught a whiff of something and a person or place came to mind? It can be the lightest smell that brings you back to a certain time in your life. That is because our sense of smell is attached to our memory. Certain smells will always be associated to different memories in our brain. If you want a man to miss you, bringing up those happy memories of your past will do just that. Be sure that you wear your personal scent every time you see him. Each time the smell hits his nose, you will come to mind. It might also be a good idea to spritz a little bit of that scent around his house but be discrete. He shouldn’t see you doing this for obvious reasons. If you leave your scent around his house he’s going to have a hard time getting you off his mind and not missing you.
@ Sam after reading your post I really don’t understand your question because you did say you refuse to be with someone who showed you he doesn’t care about your health if only we women really Focus on men ACTIONS not his words ACTIONS tells us the Truth… I think you really know he doesn’t really care about you and you should treat him the same with the I Don’t Care Attitude and move on.
It would depend on the circumstances of why she decided to break up now of all times, whether its because she gradually felt less towards you, or if there was someone else. Typically, a long distance relationship would be harder to win back because the main cause of most breakups here is the lack of physical proximity, which can't be changed unless one party goes over. If her trip at the year end is a long or permanent one, there would probably still be a chance for you to win her back if you're able to reach out successfully, but if it's just for a holiday, you might want to consider walking away because the same result may eventually occur where she loses feelings again down the road.
"Taking weekend excursions to escape the city and explore the French countryside or the coast helps. This time away from the constant bustle of the city is essential for maintaining that special connection with your partner and keeping the romantic spark alive. It's so easy to travel around France—either by car or by train—so planning a romantic weekend away is easy to do. Some of my favorite places include the Burgundy region, Loire Valley, small beach towns in Normandy, small villages in Provence, or the small cities along the Calanques near Marseille. The beautiful surroundings make it easy to enjoy nature, delicious wine and food, and most importantly, that special person.
Hi there. My boyfriend of two and a half years just broke up with me a week ago. He currently just left for college and since I'm one year younger I'm still home. We had been planning to stay together throughout college and there have been many talks about our goals for the future. We never fought, but always communicated. We were a real pure relationship and everyone around us could see we were meant to be. All the sudden he gets drunk at a party one night and breaks up with me over a phone call. I know your probably thinking it's because we wants his freedom in college and doesnt want to be tied down, but he isn't that kind of guy. He specifically told me that he has been depressed this pass week and doesn't think that his life will be happier or better without me, but he "has to do this." My bestfriend also told me he told her he won't fall in love again until he's 25. The reason why he claims to be doing this is because long distance is too hard for him if we dont have a future together. But, he has always seen a future and admitted that he is pushing me away right now. My bestfriend (who is also his best friend) thinks that he thinks he is saving me from eventual heartbreak in the future. I don't know how to get him to realize he's not thinking clearly, especially because he only thought about breaking up with me one day before he actually did it and said "he couldn't do it unless he was drunk." He also told me he loved me 45 minutes before he broke up with me and said how he couldn't wait for me to visit and how all his friends were going to love me. So honestly I think he is just getting scared about the future because he tends to do that. He has texted me to make sure I was okay and still wants to be in my life. How do I make him realize I'm the one again because up until the day he broke up with me he believed it? I dont know what to do.
If you find that you never ever want space from him, it’s time for you to start finding your own space anyway. It’s not healthy for couples to spend all their time together. It can cause you to neglect your friends, family, and self. You can start to rely too much on this man (and, in my mind, you always need just a dose of independence for yourself) and lose your identity.
Breakups hurt like crazy. And your mind is just clouded with the grief. It seems that your thoughts are just controlled by your emotions. So if you miss your ex, you might think that they were the perfect person for you. But in reality, it might not be so. In fact, I can almost guarantee that it wasn’t so. Your ex, just like every other person on earth had flaws. And your relationship, even though it might be hard to believe right now, was not great. How can I tell? Well, if it was great, you wouldn’t have broken up.
Has it happened to you? One moment everything is going fine, you’re happy, he seems to be happy, you might even be wondering if he’s the one. And then BANG, he suddenly discovers the need to go off and find himself. That leaves you wondering just what’s happened? You feel hurt, confused, angry, you’re not even sure if you still have a relationship, and you need answers!
HW (Helen), I'm so happy to hear those books and resources were helpful to you in a difficult time. I'd have to know more about the relationship to give you a more confident answer but if you feel like there was a big enough bond between you in the first place, then you could always try sending this letter. Worst case scenario, he doesn't respond and you've got a clear answer so that you can move on. Hope this helped!
If you had genuinely meant something to him, even her consolation would not be enough to fill the void that was lost between you and him. This is something only time will tell, and you made the right decision as it wasn't fair to you that he was going about confused and having the best of both worlds, hurting and confusing you in the process. It'll definitely work out happily for you, whether you end up with him or not, because you made the decision not to cling onto something toxic, and while it may hurt now, in the long run, you'll be happy to know that you made the right decision to free yourself from it.
Like the advice but now I feel the connection I thought I may have had has gone from me towards the 2 year boyfriend ( we live apart & I have 1 child still at home with me). Its fine he can have his past times of long fishing trips & he likes to control the pace of the relationship. My problem is that now I do not care enough about a relationship with him anymore, so does any one else have this problem?
Everything went well…we were soo deep in conversations…but the only thing we did was we dint confide each other that we were in love with each other….i was too afraid to….and he loves texting me often…and he says im damn cute in my photos…pulls my leg often…and we chat day and night…he says im his bestiee…all of a sudden he started replying me in one word texts like ohhh’s and hmm’s which drove me mad….i dunno wat conclusion to make…may be he has found me boring and too available….i love him soo much and it really hurts if he doesn’t chat with me as before….i went offline for a month…and going offline will make him miss me??? Will that make him crave for my presence!! Pls…help me somebody..im dying everyday
But going through difficulties is what gets us in touch with who we are and what we’re made of. This sort of growth and self-discovery is invaluable. Breaking through that feeling of “I won’t be able to survive without him” and then discovering that you can will make you realize how strong you are, and as a result, will help build your self-esteem and give you that amazing “I can get through anything” feeling.
I know how frustrating it can be when you’re ready to take the relationship to the next level, and figuring out how to get your man to commit, but he just keeps putting it off or giving you lame excuses. Because I have lived it and got my man to commit, it’s only fair that I share all my secrets on how to make a man commit so you can too have your prince charming.
He knows I hate when he ignores me and sometimes I feel he does it purposely. It will only be a few hours so I know I’m also being irrational but during those times I completely get beside myself thinking he’s with the woman he slept with. Last night I went to his house and he basically kicked me out at 2am bc he was doing paperwork (taxes). He called me crackw%^*# and a liar, I’m not even sure why he would call me such filth and told me I’m too independent and I need to learn to be more submissive. Instead of arguing I should be making him dinner and cleaning his house. Other times he adores and worships the ground I walk on. This all started when I wouldn’t move in to his house bc I felt if he truly wanted to live together we could move into another house together. Plus he absolutely hates my dog, my apartment and basically everything I do. I ask him why he’s even with me if I have according to him so many “hang ups”. Advice please.
The best relationship advice I have for men is to understand how important communication is. Problems and cracks can often start to appear between two people when things aren’t being communicated. Often these issues, niggles or situations can be sorted – but only if you are both honest in a way that is respectful to each other. Men should also understand that being listened to is so important for women. If your partner tells you something is bothering them, even if it seems completely unreasonable to you, hear her out and don’t get defensive.
If you want your man to love you more, you should make a point of showing him daily with random acts of kindness, just make sure they are specific. So if he loves grilled cheese sandwiches, make sure you cook that up for lunch. Perhaps he’s a movie buff so grab him a few passes to the theater. If he always has dry lips, make sure he’s got Chapstick in his pockets when he needs it. And if he loves to have the boys over for hockey, you should make plans on the hockey nights and let him know he should invite them over to hang out.
I was in a situation that still confuses me. Maybe you can help. I know long distance is hard, but I was in one for 4 months. I showed up great – warm, joyous, playful. We had seen each other 3 times and were planning on a visit at the holidays. Due to previous things that were planned for both of us – international travel and grad school exams, we knew it would be 8 weeks to see each other. He travelled and we spoke 4 times over 12 days for 2-3 hours, just having fun. When he got back, he called 10 times in 6 days, emailed, texted, and wrote me a letter about what an amazing influence I was and how we had this great chemistry. He started saying “love you” at the end of a few calls, and I said “love you too”, but never initiated it as I knew we were falling and needed to see each other. I went on an international vacation for 2 weeks and common times to talk were difficult (and I was having fun). We spoke twice by Skype with him asking when we could speak again. We scheduled a third and I emailed him once or twice telling him what fun stuff was happening and wishing him well on his studying. The last call he was late for, which it felt dispointed as I had asked if he just wanted to talk when I was home and he insisted we set up a time. I only said it once, he apologized and we let it go.
Hlo ,on 27th June he broken up with me,we spnd lot of time together,he is my first love and everything for me,ours relationship was to good evn in school all teachers know about tht we are in relationship, all students said made for each other ,I think about him always every minute ,I was wanting a2nd chance to solve the problem but he decided to breakup evn he doesn’t give any reason why he want to break up with me,i had sent him lot of msgs to convenience him,bt I also force him to continue the relationship otherwise I do sucide and all ,I know there is my mistake and I’m feeling guilty about this ,I was do this only because I don’t want let him go bt after doing this he starts hating.now he don’t evn want to talk me ,it’s hard it’s realize that I will never be with this boy again ,he is the boy who does not want to make me cry bt now he hates me because of my reason bt later I apologise him and try to convince him and pleased him to talk evn as a frnd but he doesn’t so please please please give me some advice how I get him back because I don’t want to leave him in any condition