One thing is for sure; the “classic techniques” for getting back together with your ex will bear fruit sooner than later. Using complimentary actions alone (such as using texts messages to get your ex back) are less sure-fire. These actions need to be combined with something like a handwritten letter for example. This way you can insist on an important point or they can come after the crucial point in getting back together: when you meet up with you ex.
Broke up with girlfriend after over 2 years together. We had some issues and had been to relate but finished counselling positively. Change of job had me move towns. She followed me 2 months later when she also had new job. My job fell apart and I had to quit just as she relocated. I then got work elsewhere on temporary basis but it went on for 9 weeks. We barely saw each other saw each other. I felt pulled work wise away from her and I allowed it to happen. We split. I was in denial for a month or so. When realisation hit I was heartbroken. I’ve tried emailing to say I want to get back together but she’s said she’s not in love with me and we have no future and that she wants space to heal.. I love her so much. I’ve written a heartfelt apology for hurting her but she won’t respond. I just don’t know what to do. I think she’s built up her barriers and is determined to put me in a box and ignore me. What do I do? I’m so very sad, really love her and can see all the ways we could have a really good relationship but if are doesn’t….
You should investigate whether he is not being loving or interested, or if he’s just not doing that in the way that you expect or are used to. You may have unspoken expectations or fantasies of what a relationship should look like, and your projections are getting in the way of appreciating the good relationship you actually have. It sounds like you might have different love languages as well, where you need a lot of verbal affirmation and maybe that’s not his strong suit. That is something you can discuss with him and ask for more of. You can tell him what’s working for you and what’s not, or that you’re unsure whether he’s into you romantically despite all the evidence, and try to hear and understand where he is coming from.
Often we women come across much more crutical than we realize. We are so socialized to being critiqued we just take it and deal. Men cant. They cant absorb it, it just sits on them and weighs them down. Always phrase any critiques positively? Sandwich it between two affirmations of good things he does or positive qualities. State you understand him. A man will “man up” when he knows his woman believes him to be a good man.
Generally, it’s usually as simple as him needing space. Marriages can be extremely fulfilling in their unity, but at times being around one another too often can feel repetitive and can get stale. Always try to do new things and give each other space when needed. Don’t think the worst is happening just yet. Relationships, especially marriages, always have their ups and downs.
Your articles always leave me teary-eyed, Renee. They are full of brilliant and compassionate insights. You speak of being authentic, you speak of trusting in the infinite perfection of the universe to give back what we put in. You speak of having a pure open hearted connection and leaving our fears at the door. This article made me cry. And I think it’s because it rang so true. We all want to be admired and trusted. I feel like whenever a man fell in love with me, it was after he revealed something shameful to me and I just accepted… Read more »
The biggest rule of all when it comes to texting your ex, or getting back together with an ex, is to first have a period of no contact, usually a minimum of four weeks. This means you don’t text or call or G-chat or communicate in any way, shape, or form. It doesn’t matter if it’s his birthday or he just got a promotion at work and you “innocently” want to congratulate him. No contact means no contact. You can read more about it and why it works here and here.
Hi Chris my boyfriend ended our releationship because his mother came in between us he tried to get back together but she threatened to kick him out now he’s telling everyone it’s my fault as he paid for everything when we were together(he didn’t) I’m devestated because I love him and felt we had overcome so much and it is worth saving I’m in no contact and he’s now ignoring me anyway I don’t know what else to do and am hoping for a miracle

Although this article gives you the basic outline for how to fix a relationship, it's certainly not an easy journey. The Power of Two Online provides detailed activities, videos and worksheets to help you learn and practice the skills you'll need to succeed. And, Power of Two members get the support of a real Power of Two marriage and relationship specialist to help answer your questions and support you along the way.


It takes enormous energy to give to a woman as a man – and that doesn’t mean that yours and my needs as a woman are wrong, not at all. It means that it helps us to simply understand that what we are asking for is not a walk in the park. In fact, it even helps to just meet a man on his level and say: “Hey, I know that I can seem like a lot of effort and maintenance at times. I’m sorry…I just really miss you. I just really enjoy my time with you.”
After a breakup, your ex will have one essential need: space. I know that I often repeat this fact, but I always receive numerous testimonies (feel free to leave your comment as well at the end of this article) in which my readers state that they realized that they were way too present with their ex, and that it was detrimental to their chances of getting back together.
1. Think patterns, not people. When thinking about relationship problems it’s easy to think in terms of people, specifically who is right, who is wrong, who is screwed up, and who is really screwed up. This isn’t usually helpful and only leads to a blame game. Instead of people, think patterns. A does something, this triggers B, who in turn triggers A, then B. Some patterns are beneficial and help us stay sane and stable, others are neutral habits, and some are deadly and capable of damage. 

It’s imperative that you give your ex room to breathe in order to not make things worse than they already are. This is why I think it’s important to stress that after a breakup, of course you must act – but don’t immediately go running back to your ex, literally. You must take the adequate amount of time needed for you following a break up, to ensure that you rebuild yourself on a personal level and to overcome your heartache. The first step to getting back with your ex begins with a good look in the mirror and an enormous effort on your part!
It works better with guys you know in real life, but if you’re having trouble getting started then pick your favorite actor. The important part is that you do this once per day, and that you really stick with it. It might not seem like it’s doing much at first, but in reality it’s detoxing your mind consciously and unconsciously from your ex, and putting you in a much better mental state.
This article was co-authored by Jessica Engle, MFT, RDT. Jessica Engle is a relationship coach and psychotherapist based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She founded Bay Area Dating Coach in 2009, after receiving her Master's in Counseling Psychology. Jessica is also a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Registered Drama Therapist with over 10 years of experience.
Let him go for the time being. If he really likes you, he will come back. Meanwhile, focus on yourself — exercise, go out with your friends, see your family, have a hobby etc. It takes your mind away from this guy and also strengthens you as a person. If he doesn’t come back, you just move on and become a better version of yourself. If he comes back, then you can re-evaluate if you actually want to be with this guy. The “pull away” downtime is good for both of you.

My boyfriend for 4 months started calling and texting less as of the second week of January. It is true that he had some successive things happening one after the other which also prevented us for meeting since the new years eve. But despite that I let him know that I wasn’t happy with his careless behaviour. By the third week of January the date of his thesis submission approached and it just got worse. As I got bady ill for 4 days and he didn’t even get briefed because he did not ask how I was although he kept the conversation, I exploded on him and told him aaaalll I felt and went through and how he was absent when I needed him. My message just stayed unread on purpose till the morning and he tried to start a new normal conversation as usual like nothing happened. I was pissed off so I answered short, late, and tough. He stopped talking and by the time I cooled down he was already shut off. I ended up keeping the conversation somehow as he stopped initiating. By the following weekend I was near his area and we were talking so I asked if he feels like going out having some air. He made an excuse and I just headed home. We talked less and less through the following week, by thursday night we had a light chat and I asked how he was, he said that he was very tired and unhappy. As I asked why, is it going bad at work, my message just stayed unread till the morning. It was Friday 9 Feb. And he was quite responsive through the day, so I asked to meet and as he kept making excuses related to work, I just pushed more. So he just stopped responding to my messages and calls. Yes I know I did aaaall kinds of the things to avoid in these situations but I could not help but to see and understand what was happening to him that he had to express his unhappiness. After this incident I just disappeared too until valentine’s day at around 10 pm. I sent a brief apology message for my harsh words and putting the blame on him (when I exploded on him) while he was already having a hard time by himself. I wished him good luck with his upcoming thesis presentation (16 Feb) and wished him that he would never tell anybody again that he is tired and unhappy as he said to me the week before. I got an answer for this message that I was a wonderful girl and very understanding and I have nothing to apologise for and thanks for the good wishes and that I deserve the best and he hopes I will find what I deserve.
Hi am haleemah my boy friend broke up with me early this month he saw some messages o my phone chatting with other guts , have been neging him to please giveme a second chance but he wouldn’t listen ,I mesg he several times but he said he is no more interested but the truth is I love him and I didn’t cheat on him intentionally ,I only did it because of my ex but he didn’t believe me.pls I never your advice
My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago. He said he craves for independence and he he still loves me but that’s just what’s right to do. He pushed me away whenever I try to get close or hug or lean my head against his back. I really love him and I want to get him back but we are flatmates, we live together and I don’t know how to do the no contact? And I’ve gone home for a few days and I didn’t tell him where I was going. I’ll be going back in a few days and I’ll be seeing him again. What should I tell him if he asks me where I went? I don’t want to look like a loser grieving so much for our relationship. And I really want to get him back.
How do you get over somebody that you work with? Obviously NC is impossible in this situation. Luckily for me, she works out in the field (not literally in a field btw) and I work in the office. So I really only see her about once a week if that. But….. I still do have to communicate with her several times a day every day either by phone or by text for work.

Although this article gives you the basic outline for how to fix a relationship, it's certainly not an easy journey. The Power of Two Online provides detailed activities, videos and worksheets to help you learn and practice the skills you'll need to succeed. And, Power of Two members get the support of a real Power of Two marriage and relationship specialist to help answer your questions and support you along the way.
Here;s an interesting one and maybe I am being a brat but I'm going to ask anyway. Late October I started seeing this guy. I did everything wrong one the first date, but I din't care one bit because I honestly didn't find him to be great looking. Super nice, great dresser, good body, but different than I expected. Anyway, we went out again because if a guy seems to have most of the qualities I like, if I think he's super nice and cool, I'll give it a try. We sleep together on date 2 and again, I DON'T CARE that I probably should not have. He still wants to see me though. After date four, I decide I'm just trying to like the guy so I tell him I can't see him anymore. I don't say exactly why but that something is not there.He starts to ask why and then backs off (smart) and takes it like a gentleman.That was after like 2 weeks. The next day or two all I do is tell my friends about this and it occurs to me I'm thinking about him nonstop. So I text him and BAM! Back together, dating and having the best sex I have EVER had in my life. We text a lot, he intiates, I don'tact needy at all... It's nice, it's warm, it's sexy, it's just great. THEN... his mom dies. He has to leave town but he just keeps on texting me the whole time. Before that he even invited me into his own world at a ceremony he had to attend. Up to this point he says thing like when you meet so and so and things like that. While out of town, everything is still great and he says he doesn't want to dwell on his mom.I respect that so I don't push at all. Before he gets back he he says he needs to take me to his home town (a popular vacation destination). When he gets back I meet him but his flight was delayed so it's pretty late (not normal for us to do late night stuff like that). I even said if it's too late let's reschedule. He says no so I go. The next day is fine... texting blah blah blah, but the following day he seems to be distant. I do nothing. The next day, today, I text him first. He says he had a headache the day before but it's probably stress over deciding to leave an old job for a new one and a lawsuit he's in. He then tells me about it. But.... he definitely seems more distant than when his mom died, so I'm thinking am I just being a complete brat here or is he actually losing interest. It seems really obvious to me but I have recently decided I don't make excuses for a man's behaviour any more. If they want you, no matter the circumstances, you know it. what's your take? Feel free to completely call me out, if I am just being a big baby here. At this point, I actually do really like the guy. I wish he would say something like "I'm cray about you" or something but his actions up to this point have been great so saying words may be a bit much to expect less than 2 months in anyway. Either way, I just want to know if I should completely bail at this point because I hate this feeling!

This is one of the main differences between men and women when it comes to relationships. Men are more in the moment and are able to comfortably enjoy a situation for what it is as it is. Women are always looking for ways to improve the relationship and push it forward. It’s not that one gender has it right and the other has it wrong. There needs to be a balance between enjoying the present and comfortably laying the foundation for a future. It just can’t be done forcefully.
Deal lauren. I am a fan of mars and venus books and i have all the collection. I also recommended the books to my friends. But i still need your advice , my bf broke up with me 4 months ago. he felt overwhelmed, asked space and said he has nothing to say other than he needs to be alone. Since than i tried everything includinf suggesting to be friends and told him im over the break up and want my friend back. We work together, we were close friends for 6 months and we dated for 4 months. So after the friendship speech, he panicked and ended the conversation by saying lets keep it simple and move on. So i decided to start a true limited contact ( since i hv to work with him daily), since than he called once for work purpose (i think) but didnt answer him, he asked once how i was doing ( i replied im gd only) he tried a few jokes, and we met at a friends wedding so he invited me to dance with our other friends but i declined. I am commited to NC. He also invited me for a coffee at the work coffee shop and touched my hand once. My reactions were simple and didnt show attention or neediness. Than suddenly he went distant again and start ignoring me all over again. Im completly lost. I thought he starts to get closer!!!Please advice. Thank you ...
I was in a relationship with a guy who suffers with depression we had our ups and dwn i started txting an ex over a year ago it stopped 5 mnth after he my bf found out and we gt through it we drifted apart bout 4 mnth ago but was txting he wanted me bk 2 week ago told me he misses me etc i spoke to him on phone 2 week ago he said we need to talk so i arranged to go out sat he never turned up then txt me saying he dnt want to be with me thats when i started hounding him txt messages phone calls which in en he blocked me he came ova a week ago to talk he clamed up woundnt talk to me told me i was pushing him away hes got things in his head agen bout me txting my ex i miss him so much dnt know what to do started 30 day no contact i am in such a state at minute
You want to end the conversation on your terms and get back to her at a later date. Remember, this is not meant to be a process where you accomplish everything you want to accomplish in a matter of hours. Rather, you accomplish it in a matter of weeks or months but trust me when I say if you are patient the strategies outlined on this page can be extremely effective.

Also, when a woman is trying to fit the mold of another person and is clearly trying to be someone else, it comes off as disingenuous – even desperate, which is not a good look. There is nothing more attractive and sexy than a woman who doesn’t care who does, or doesn’t like her. When it seems like your entire world is depending on that person you have automatically devalued yourself, while rasing them onto a pedastal. In order to be the most attractive to men you have to at least be on their level, or above. This kind of skewed dynamic with him taking priority over you never works out, no matter how hard you try.
Determine why the relationship is in trouble. All relationships go through rough patches at one point or another. As the novelty of your first few months together wears off, problems and stress start to pile up and things you once found cute begin to annoy you to no end. While there are always small issues in a relationship, some issues can cause problems when they linger under the surface for too long:
Schedule a girls night out with your friends. Leave your man home by himself. Give him a hug and kiss, and then say “see you later.” Make him miss you — and show him that you’re not in a codependent relationship with him — that you have a social life, too. If he wants space, then give him space, while have a fun time with your friends outside of your relationship. When a man pulls away after being in a LTR for a while, sometimes it means he feels trapped or suffocated or obligated to you, or that he’s losing his freedom or sense of self because you’re now “all coupling all the time.” Immersing himself in work is a way for him to pull away from this codependence and gain a sense of self and independence. If you’re really worried, do an evaluation of your relationship — are you getting too clingy, needy, or do you want to do things with him 24/7 … are you having a codependent relationship? Is that the reason why your guy is pulling away? Sometimes, the issue may not just be his, but also yours.
I believe a week or maximum of two weeks in the first 6 months or so of getting to know each other is okay – for him to retreat into his man cave. If he’s going for longer than that after the first 6 months of the relationship or continuing to pull away altogether, you’re wasting your time on him. He’s not ready to settle down or simply just not into you, period. Walk away, girlfriend.
The first kind of bad text message people like to send to their ex after a breakup is what I like the “Hate Text.” While venting can be therapeutic, saying mean things to your ex will ruin your chances of ever rebuilding a relationship with him or her. If you find yourself angry with your ex, then give yourself a moment to cool down before you pick up your phone. While being angry and emotional is COMPLETELY NORMAL for a person in your situation, it’s wise to not act on these emotions if you want to win your ex back. I mean…what is your goal right now? To get in that “one last shot” at your ex? Or to win them back and make them love you again? Think about it this way: people tend to gravitate towards things that make them feel good, and if your ex associates negative feelings with YOU, the less likely it is they’ll feel attracted to you again, let alone talk to you. So take a chill pill, relax, and live to fight another day.
Long distance relationship, We dead-loved each other for one year and then I broke up. She left immediately and I missed her for two weeks and texted back. Three months I didnt care, She kept texting and called. slowly she came up with this breakup thing. All of a sudden she declared breakup and I couldnt digest it. I begged her for 2 weeks. Will she get back? How long should I wait?
Today text messaging is an indispensable communication option – it not only enables people to stay in touch through short messages but have even emerged as a trendy way of conveying one’s feelings. While there are text messages galore to wish a loved one good morning or good night, here are some that you can send to your ex that are sure to convince him/her to get back together.
I have been seeing my boyfriend for about 8 months now. He completely swept me off my feet in the beginning (it was like a love bomb). He started changing a couple months after that -- we never really "dated" -- it just went from a couple dates where he would take me out and drop me off at my apartment and go back to his. Then, a few weeks later he was practically living in my apartment full time. He blames me for everything wrong in the relationship -- shuts down emotionally now and we just had another blowout and he says to me he needs a week of space. I think he was just using me for convenience because my apartment was closer to his for work. I am so confused. He is not texting much anymore, not interested in my goals and things we used to share and that bonded us in the beginning. It just feels so empty and I can't talk to him because he automatically says that I focus on him too much and I analyze the relationship too much. He calls me crazy and negative, among other things. He basically just comes over and sleeps. No connection, no emotion. I don't know what to do anymore. I think it's time to let him go -- I also think he has narcissistic traits as i've been trying to read and educate myself. Could you offer any advice? Thank you.
If you do it properly, using a text message to get your ex back could prove to be successful. Ideally, it should be used in addition to traditional methods of getting back together. A text at the right time could be a plus when you’re taking the necessary steps to once again win the heart of your ex, but just a text alone will be unlikely to do the trick.
And now he is texting me everyday, not a lot but to know how i’m doing, says I can talk to him whenever I want, that he wants us to stay best friends like we used to and that he wants me to “be myself” with him, text him whatever I want…But I know he doesnt really want to talk to me, like if he has a problem he will go to someone else. I think he is mostly being nice, and trying to ease the break up for himself by not losing me completely (he said that if we keep talking its easier cause it’s “more normal”).
After a breakup, your ex will have one essential need: space. I know that I often repeat this fact, but I always receive numerous testimonies (feel free to leave your comment as well at the end of this article) in which my readers state that they realized that they were way too present with their ex, and that it was detrimental to their chances of getting back together.
Starting last week, she began to stop texting me and she would not respond to any of my offers to speak over the phone. My first response to this was to let it go for a couple of days. Then, I wrote her a kind letter (not discussing our issues) and mailed it to her (trying something new to keep the relationship interesting). When she received the letter in the mail, she responded, saying she would send me a note back.
Forgive each other. This can be the hardest part of mending a relationship, but also the most crucial. Forgiveness releases pent up anger, pain, and emotions so that they don’t come back later in life, sabotaging all the progress you’ve made. Remember that no one is perfect, and without forgiveness, there wouldn't be a single working relationship on the planet.[6]
Make sure to abide by the ever-important No Contact Rule. In this case, ignore your instincts (because they usually act like impulses and read as impulsive behavior). Make sure you take time needed for yourself to feel strong and confident on your own while you give him space. Make sure you do not, I repeat do not show any signs of codependency or clinginess when he does reach back out to you.
A lot of people think that when they implement Radio Silence (No contact) with their Ex Bf, that it is all about denying them or punishing them.  But that is not it at all.  It is really about allowing your Ex Boyfriend time to get over his anger and resentment and sort through his feelings.  Make no mistake, bitterness is usually just hovering over a break up couple and your guy might be holding on to his fair share. So allow for some space.  Once the ugly thoughts are out of his mind, the good thoughts and memories will eventually return as he will most assuredly start missing you, sometimes terribly.
Español: recuperar a tu ex novio, Português: Reconquistar o seu Ex Namorado, Français: récupérer son ex petit‐ami, Italiano: Riconquistare un Ex, Deutsch: Den Exfreund zurückbekommen, Русский: вернуть бывшего парня, 中文: 让你的前男友回来, Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Kembali Mantan Pacar Anda, Nederlands: Je ex vriendje weer terugkrijgen, العربية: استعادة حبيبك السابق, हिन्दी: अपने एक्स बॉयफ़्रेंड को वापस पाएँ, ไทย: กลับไปคืนดีกับแฟนหนุ่มคนเก่าของคุณ, Tiếng Việt: Khiến bạn trai cũ quay lại với bạn, 한국어: 헤어진 남자친구, 다시 잡는 법, 日本語: 元彼氏を取り戻す
Know that it can take a long time to rebuild trust after cheating. Once one partner loses faith in their partner it can take years to regain the trust that was lost. Any time a cheating partner leaves the house meets up with coworkers, or texts someone new, feelings of jealousy and distrust are natural. Be prepared to work hard, and for several months, to rebuild trust after an affair.
Most of The Times the problem was you are driving away him.Most women doesnot know how men think and what makes them interested in you,and those who does not won’t share them either.I was also in a same stat of mind few years back.And my number one advise is that if you ended things for a reason then its better to not get back again.But if you think that was a mistake then you should understand a bit about what makes the men tick.The short answer is bad communication.Yes men a the worst communicators and there are studies that shows then spoke very few words per day than women.So the basic thing is you have to understand whats on his mind.They are embarassed to talk about their feelings.And that’s because admitting to this desire actually moves him farther away from the goal.Also you have to make them feel needed.Well its also a lot of other things too.I cannot explain them all in this comment.But in my blog journal i had written what i feel.May be they are just my ramblings but i found them true in most occasions.
my bf left me for another girl.he keeps telling me that i am nothing to him.he wants to b with the other girl.he has no feeling for me anymore.this has started more than one year ago.by this time he also speak to me but not on his own mood or to rebuild our relationship.he does so becz i request him to be with me at least for some hours or some minute… we talk only 2 or 3 days per a week…but I can’t stay without him I want him back.plzz help me…if this is possible for me to get him back as my bf again??
I have a friend (who wants to remain unnamed.) He ended up breaking up with his girlfriend of 5 months for some silly reason (I honestly never understood it.) Anyways, three months after their breakup she started dating a new guy. Immediately my friend called me up and wanted her back. He didn’t realize what he had until he saw her with another guy.
How do you get over somebody that you work with? Obviously NC is impossible in this situation. Luckily for me, she works out in the field (not literally in a field btw) and I work in the office. So I really only see her about once a week if that. But….. I still do have to communicate with her several times a day every day either by phone or by text for work.

Take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions without making value judgements – blaming and harshness only serves to make you more emotional. Learn to accept your own failings and inadequacies (if you really must use judgemental words). I think you’ll also benefit from reading my articles on how to deal with criticism and how to deal with rejection.


This process is often referred to as the “rubber band,” where a man alternates between being close to his partner and pulling away, like a rubber band. The key is not to move towards your man when he is withdrawing, because it creates slack in the rubber band. You want to give him his space and keep the tension in the rubber band so that he eventually snaps back and becomes close to you again.
Our relationship was not a relationship at all ,I see now..I was too naive to understand how to handle a relationship.It began suddenly within one week of Facebook chatting,then we went on dates whatever but I never tried to show the rights on him! I didn't call if he didn't and he used to remain without calling for several days ,I wondered if he doesn't miss me at all! But I didn't understand the difference between being needy and being way too nice to not being needy at all ,like whatever he did,even if I felt bad I used to remain too much cool and told him that it was okay!!! Because maybe I put him on a pedestal,maybe I thought that it would cause resentment and fighting ,so let it be and I compromised! Probably I lost my high value and he started pulling away and I also didn't say anything to him at that time..but when he ended the relationship he just said that he never felt that he was in a relationship with me..
Offer to take him out to dinner on your dime. Don’t mention your emotional melt down. He doesn’t want to hear it. Make yourself humble and be grateful that he even wants to spend time with you. If you show him genuine remorse and he see this you might have a chance as long as he thinks you will never do that again. Goodluck you’re going to need it.

Some times I want to take this manly-man, guys-guy & shake him & say what the hell is wrong with you?!! (Many people want to do that for me right now.) but instead, I rush to tell him I love him & smother him with kind words & gushy love stuff. And he pulls away even further. Now, I am reminded of how in the beginning I gave this man his space & his time whenever I sensed he needed it, I had no control over it or him anyway, why fight it & push him farther away? I remember a day when he grabbed, pulled me close, kissed me, & thanked me for understanding & giving him his time. I would give anything for that moment to happen again, because it was real, & genuine. He was really happy at that moment & wanted me to know it.

He said he still loved me, that his feeling hasn’t changed a bit, that there was absolutely no one else, but that he needed time for himself, because he was feeling like he spent most of the time worrying about me, feeling like he had to guide me or something (i do not agree to that, because i honestly never asked him to guide me or to leave any of his activities for me)… And that he was way too tired of all the fights, he couldn’t handle it anymore, so thats why he exploded and realized he needed time for himself, to fix his own issues, achieve his goals and that he would seek for help on a psychologist because he felt lost, and that he needed someone to tell him what to do right now and that he didn’t know if this break up was going to be permanent or if it was going to be temporary. He also told me that i should focus on college right now, and use this ¨free¨ time to do that, but that he didn’t mean that i should stop thinking about him or he would stop thinking about me, because i was always on his mind
Similarly, it’s not uncommon for a person to wonder what a text from an ex actually means. Is there a deeper meaning…? When it comes to serious matters, texts are often too short and impersonal to act is proper indicators of the entire situation. It’s also not unusual for someone to show a text from an ex to a friend to get their opinion, and as each person’s opinion and perception of things is very different, they might even say, “Don’t text ur ex back,” when in reality it might be a good call to actually open conversation. If you’re unsure of what to do, don’t hesitate to reach out to us!
It takes a lot of courage and strength for your loved one to confess about something that they feel may be bad or hurtful. When you judge your partner, you make them feel worse, and you also psychologically affect them and make them shut themselves up. And once your partner feels uncomfortable sharing their dark secrets with you, they’d prefer to hide their secrets or talk to another friend rather than tell you what they really feel. And that’s never going to help your relationship. In fact, it could be one of the worst things that can happen to your relationship.
I really love him. I just want to hear from him. Some of the reasonings we broke up include he felt unappreciated, he wasn’t “getting” happy, he’s bored with the relationship because all we do is sit around, which I immediately told him that’s not fair and I always try to get him to do things and said I know. But a few more reasons he’s told me, he wants to be around someone positive, and I’ll admit I haven’t been in the best shape lately. I lost my job, I’ve been going through family issues, and friend issues. I always am first to tell him everything. I can understand why this is what could push him away. He is a very easy go free kind of guy. He also told me “I’m not what he wants in a girlfriend” of course all these words hurt. I think about everything he’s said and it hurts. Do I believe them? Slightly.
If you are looking for a quick fix or some quick ideas for initiating contact via text, be sure to keep the language casual. Treat him like a friend that you just want to grab a quick bite or coffee with. Would you put so much pressure on wording a text to hang out? Give him the same lack of attention to detail. Keep it casual, cool. Maintain a good vibe and exude confidence in your indifference.
Hi Lauren! I am from the Philippines and I bumped on this site trying to find out advises for my current relationship. My story will be a bit long and I hope you may find time reading it. I have been in a relationship for 8months now. Our relationship started in a most undesirable way. First, let me tell you the romantic background of the guy whom I decided to be with. His first girlfriend was way back in his High School years. They were together for four years. The girl has a "childhood friend" who was a Filipino Australian citizen (A Filipino who migrated in AU and became a citizen), eventually, the fall of the relationship was when the girl thought that the relationship was going nowhere and decided to cheat when that "childhood friend" went back to the Philippines. When he learned the thing, of course his heart got broken and had a hard time moving on. After a year, he had his second girl who was his college junior (they were both studying Nursing) and all went fine, he shared with me that he gave all the girl's wants and needs but in the end he was made aware that the girl is cheating and that she is dating another man when they are still together and the mother of the girl belittled him for being "just a nurse". They broke up and he did all to win the gilr back but nothing happened. After a year, when he learned that the girl became available "again", he started courting her "again" to win her back, of course the girl chose a different man instead of him and that's when he decided to move on. On the other hand, we were officemates, I am a Human Resource Officer and he's a Company Nurse, at first, I did not like him for he's just not my type. Until the tables turned. I love talking to him and I enjoy his company, I told him that I like him and he said it was okay. Eventually I fell in love and confessed, he told me he's not ready and can't reciprocate my love, as well, he d...
The first thing that you need to do is simple, stop talking to them. You need to drop communication completely. You absolutely need to stop this overall. Many people feel the need to text them back, call them back, or just try to be in their sight. Don’t do that. You have to cut everything out. Walk away, stop talking, stop texting, and walk away from social media. When you talk to them after the break up, you’re going to end up causing them to think that you’re not quite as good as she once thought. You don’t want her to justify the reason why she walked away.
I’m on the other side of the coin. I’ve been dating a woman for three years and she is a raging workaholic. We rarely spend time together, if we do she falls asleep, or we have time to do nothing because she always has to be AT WORK. Living together would solve some of the problems but she always has an excuse as to why she works all the time or some martyr-ific After two years, I’ve finally gotten tired of trying to communicate my feelings and am taking time for myself. It’s hard to talk when you feel that someone is not listening.

Use the time away to get a better understanding of the relationship. Dating coach, Lisa Shield, adds: "Many of us feel fear when trying to meet people after a breakup because we don't have a good enough understanding of what we did wrong in the past. Take time to reflect on your actions and your partner's. If you don't make sense of the past, it's going to be really hard to move forward."

We texted incessantly for a month and went on our first date to an ice cream festival called The Scooper Bowl. I missed the train, and we kissed. We began a summer fling where we’d walk around Boston holding hands, eating pizza, and watching TV cuddled up on her couch. She made that summer in Boston perfect. It was only two months, but it was unfiltered romance.

The way you can make him regret it is by moving on and being happy without him. Positive attitude and change is what draws people back to you. With that said he might reach out again and don't be too easy to let him in. You want to make sure he has changed too. Follow a couple of things I've mentioned in this blog and stick to focusing on you and letting go of him one step at a time.
I’ve been “hanging out” with this guy off and on for two years. Before meeting him I read books on this exact subject. I’ve been married and divorced twice so I wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing if I got involved with a man again. I’m very opened about my feels I always have been. I like that about myself but in the past I’ve also been pushy wanting things to happen right away. Now with this guy I’m “hanging out” with has pulled away a lot in the 2 yrs I’ve been seeing him, but he had always come back. I think it’s because I always gave him his space. Since being married and divorced twice taking things slow was fine with me. Just recently though, I couldn’t help myself and I told him that I loved him. I thought for sure he was going to pull away, but he didn’t not right away anyways. In fact, we talked about making it exclusive. I was so happy because it’s what I had been waiting patiently for two years for. Recently, we had a two year anniversary of when we met so being the person I am I gave him a card. I said a paragraph of very heartfelt things. I knew this would definitely make him pull away from me and I was right. Even though I know when it’s going to happen it still doesn’t make it easy to deal with. I love him and I want him to know this. I want him to know that I accept him for who he is. I feel the only way I’m going to get him to trust me is by letting him have his time away from me. When he comes back he’s different, for instance, he more loving sweeter. I believe him when he says he’s happy with me. He too has been in difficult relationships in the past that broke his heart. Love isn’t meant to go fast. Love takes time. I’m glad it’s going this way even though it’s hard because I came from abusive background and it’s why my marriages ended. This guy inspires me to grow and find myself. I’ve started back to school at 43 yrs old because of his encouragement. I don’t feel I have to be someone I’m not when I’m with him. I feel safe when I’m with him. I want him to feel the same when he’s with me. I feel that’s what true love is all about. I may love him but he’s not my whole world, he’s only part of it.
So it is not wrong for you to have the ‘problem’ of a man pulling away, even if you’re in a committed relationship. This is because men and women have different motivations, different perceptions of the world, and they value different things. This doesn’t mean that our values and wants cannot mesh together and create beauty in the world – they certainly can. But not without also having clashes along the way, which are 100% normal in man/woman relationships.
I say that because we’ve been together for three years. I just feel like he would’ve figured out sooner than later if I was what he wanted in a girlfriend. Our relationship is/was so great. We talked everyday, some days less than others but at the beginning and end of the day we always made contact. We hung out mostly 4out of 7 days a week. We’ve always made enough time for eachother, and what we want to do ourselves. We hardly ever fought. Of course we’ve had our few disputes, but nothing we couldn’t work through.
I was in a relationship with a guy who suffers with depression we had our ups and dwn i started txting an ex over a year ago it stopped 5 mnth after he my bf found out and we gt through it we drifted apart bout 4 mnth ago but was txting he wanted me bk 2 week ago told me he misses me etc i spoke to him on phone 2 week ago he said we need to talk so i arranged to go out sat he never turned up then txt me saying he dnt want to be with me thats when i started hounding him txt messages phone calls which in en he blocked me he came ova a week ago to talk he clamed up woundnt talk to me told me i was pushing him away hes got things in his head agen bout me txting my ex i miss him so much dnt know what to do started 30 day no contact i am in such a state at minute
So many red flags! He seems abusive. For starters, he shouldn’t be calling you names and putting you down. And the fact that he dislikes your being independent and ought to be cleaning or cooking for him is so sexist, I can’t even… All this leads me to believe he will be physically and more emotionally abusive as time goes by. Run as far away as possible. I know it’s hard, but I don’t see your situation getting better. Stay safe.
It was good, but the toxic feelings from the first breakup followed us wherever we went. Mary had let go of that fun-in-the-sun, summer-fling, freewheelin’ attitude I had desperately tried and failed to bring to our last relationship. She had made new friends and learned valuable lessons since our breakup, the biggest one being that guys who try to hold on to their high school ex-girlfriends are as dumb as they are stupid.

Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging. However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative.

whenever I ask him what’s wrong with him it takes a while before I get just one sentence out of him, this has affected our relationship as communication is being lacked. Ik he’s a guy and doesn’t want to seem vulnerable I understand that but we had a over the text argument more like me yelling at him even though for days I have asked him if we can talk in person so we can settle this in person so no communication is being misinterpreted but all he did was bring up lil excuses not to talk to me or I’d ask him when we would be able to and he’d be like “Idk” and because of that I would overthink everything and then just hold everything in until finally I exploded. I usually hold my tounge with being sweet and patient and I was like that for about 3 days but I was done with him not talking about what is going on with him and us and it all started when I gave him the impression that I didn’t want to be in this relationship anymore. We were in the car and I was jumbling all my feelings and not even knowing what I was saying, I said to him that I wanted some space to get myself together so that I could love myself more for this relationship. And I think all he got from me talking was that I wanted space and that I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him because that’s usually something somebody would say if they wanted to end it slowly without saying “I wanna break up with you”. I shouldn’t of worded it like that but keep in mind I was PMSing to the max and I even told him that was why I freaked out on him and to try to understand not to take anything I say personal or even seriously.
Succeeding in getting back together with your ex via text message isn’t easy thanks to all the ways that your message can be misinterpreted, but there’s another thing that could limit your chances of success: The length of your message. A text message is usually supposed to be short, but when a person wants to get back together with their ex, their message can be very long… too long.
Italiano: Riconquistare la Tua Ex, Português: Conseguir Seu ou Sua Ex de Volta, Deutsch: Deine Ex zurück gewinnen, Français: reconquérir son ex, Русский: вернуть своего бывшего, 中文: 与你的前男友或女友重新开始, Nederlands: Je ex terugwinnen, Čeština: Jak získat svoji bývalou dívku zpět, Español: recuperar a tu ex, 日本語: 別れた恋人とよりを戻す, Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Mantan Pacar Anda Kembali, العربية: استعادة شريكك السابق, ไทย: ได้แฟนเก่ากลับมา, Tiếng Việt: Giành lại người yêu cũ, 한국어: 전 애인과 다시 결합하는 방법, हिन्दी: अपने एक्स को वापस पायें, Türkçe: Eski Sevgili Nasıl Geri Kazanılır
So it is not wrong for you to have the ‘problem’ of a man pulling away, even if you’re in a committed relationship. This is because men and women have different motivations, different perceptions of the world, and they value different things. This doesn’t mean that our values and wants cannot mesh together and create beauty in the world – they certainly can. But not without also having clashes along the way, which are 100% normal in man/woman relationships.
Last year we were about to marry, everyone was veryy happy, hi family and my family met then his mother ask for few details and wanted to do enquiry and all of my family and she said she wont allow me to work, i said yes to everthing as i was in love and wanted to marry him everything was soo good but just after the family meeting i said him that he shouldn’t speak a single word in front of his family as i was expecting him support me and say that its been 5 years we know each and already discussed everthing then i got upset from him , we faught and later on he said everthing to his mother and she start hated me , We broke up:(
The steps to success in getting back together are very clear, and just like a formula in math, you have to the steps to a T if you want a successful result. You may have already heard about the hand-written letter (I’ll expand on this later), radio silence, and reversed dependence, but trying to figure out how to text your ex to get them to come back is not always a useful technique.
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