Gentlemen, if you think your lady is special please let her know. One of the biggest complaints I hear from my fellow women in relationships is that they feel unappreciated.  The best way to let your lady know that you appreciate her is to tell her and show her.  We love hearing that you adore us and appreciate everything we do (and please give some specifics so we know you are noticing everything).
We human beings have a built in radar.  We pick up on body language and we also use our intuition.  We all have it…men and women.  In this case, these women are simply picking up on his lack of authenticity.  He’s not truly being himself.  He’s approaching these women from an energy of “what can I get away with?”  And these women intuitively know it.  We would typically call a guy like this a “player” however, another way to look at it is that he is not behaving in alignment with who he is inside and, what he is really wanting is an activity partner because it is safe.  He doesn’t want a relationship simply because he is not yet ready to let some of his walls down.
Peter discovered that if he wanted to talk with his wife, he would get the best results if he asked from a stance of self-respect. He tried asking if she would meet him for coffee. She replied, "Sure!" In fact, the groveling and self-deprecation that Peter had learned as a child were the opposite of what his wife wanted. The more confidently he addressed her, the more positively she responded.
Hi! I was dating this guy (unofficially because we never really discussed labels) for about a month. He’d text me every single day and we’d talk for hours. We had amazing chemistry and common interests. He said he found me very interesting and he’d always ask so many questions about me. We hung out a handful of times and had a great time together (no sex -although we did get somewhat “intimate” during our last date). After I got home that day I sent him a message along the lines of “I’m not a F**k buddy” because it seemed to me in that moment that all he wanted was to get physical. I immediately regretted the message because I realized how mean and out of the blue it’d seem to him (plus, he hadn’t really treated me like someone just you want to sleep with). However, he read the message before I could delete it from the WhatsApp conversation and everything changed at that point. He got upset and shot down, I panicked and sent him more messages and called him about 6-7 times during the 24 hours that followed. I wanted to verbally apologize so badly. When he finally answered after two days he told me that he “wasn’t as interested as he was before” and that he had ended longer relationships because of the way someone spoke to him. He also said he missed his friends (he works a lot and only has free time on the weekends) so he’d prefer to hang out with them. He said we could still hang out because he finds me a very “unique girl” but essentially made it sound like it’d no longer be a priority of his. Hearing all of this broke me in pieces because I really like him and any form of rejection is always hard. I didn’t yell or call him names or anything, I just apologized and told him I understood what he was saying. After that conversation I did no contact for 10 days (fearing that doing it longer would not be a good thing since our relationship had only been going on for a month) and then reached out to him via Instagram message. The message was short and relevant (about some interest of his) and he replied immediately, we engaged in some conversation via message about some things I’m doing at the moment .. and then that was it. I reached out again after two days with another “non threatening” text about some specific thing I’m doing now during my vacation.. but this time he didn’t reply, it’s been a whole day and he hasn’t even seen the message (Instagram shows that the message has not been seen). So now I don’t know if I did too much by initiating that second attempt to reach him. I’m really lost because most of the advice I’ve seen out there focuses mostly on couples who’ve been going out for longer than just a month.
Regardless, if it's his child you're carrying, there should be a level of responsibility he needs to uphold. Also, it's not his first time going through pregnancy and he should be aware that what you're going through in terms of your emotions is perfectly normal. That being said, on your own end, the child should come first at this point and anything that would further cause you emotional grief and sadness should be put aside for the time being, at least until you feel a little more control over your emotions.
I guess I get in to the honeymoon stage later, for me it takes time me and he seemed to be in it in the beginning and I was holding back because I was unsure. Yes, I did feel emotional distance from him during the last month but he kept following up and making plans and we continued to spend our weekends together that were so much fun. But missing the big elephant in the room, which was discussing what we are. I should also mention we are in our 30's so I am just surprised that if he finally met someone that he connects with that he would just leave to abruptly just because I brought up deleting the dating app. I just thought there was a real connection between us and if he would just open up more I could see a future with him.
Me and my boyfriend of 2 years broke ip 1 month ago. I am 27 and he is 26. He is in the coast guard and he lives in Maryland and I am in NYC. We have been LDR since the beginning, but he only joined the Coast Guard 1 year ago. I have been doing No Contact for 3 weeks now. He was the one who broke up with me and after we broke up he was texting me days afterward nice and positive text messages. Since I have started NC he hasn’t reached out via text but still like some of my stuff on Social Media and is looking at it. We broke up because he felt like he loved me but wasn’t as in love with me anymore and that maybe we were on 2 different paths. He also said “maybe we can get back together one day. My parents got back together after they broke up,” my question is is 30 days of NC good enough or should I go longer? I have been making positive changes in my life, but since things ended so positively I have been confused.
I am dating a guy in a distance relationship for about three months, at the beggining we felt unbelievable connection soulmate like, he said he wants to marry and have children, he was caring and sweet (flowers, gifts, lots of time together). However I know he cheated on me at the very beginning of dating (I forgived him because that was very fresh relation).

We did try to agree to be friends, and I even gave her gas money in exchange for giving me a ride home for the weekend for me to stay with my parents and work. However, over that weekend, I took some time to think and realized that trying to be friends right after a breakup with someone I had a relatively good relationship with until the last month would not be a good idea. That was when I came upon this article and started reading it as well. I realized that, while I do WANT us to be friends, it is probably not the best decision right now because my emotions are still very raw and I am very confused and I still have some strong feelings that I know that I would not be able to suppress or hide so easily around her. I also looked at the breakup from both sides. She, on the one hand, was the one who asked for the breakup. She was the one who initially asked for space. I on the other hand, after I got over the initial hurt, realized that what I was doing wrong was still showing neediness in asking to be friends directly and trying to still hold on to what was. What was between us has already been, and if there is to be a future, it cannot continue. I realized that although she initiated the breakup, I too need some space to work on myself and regain my securities and get in touch with those things that make me happy and confident and... Well, me. I need to learn how to be happy without her and realize that I am my own person and that her love does not define me. It feels great to have someone to love, certainly, but that cannot be the source of my happiness, nor can it be the only positive or "good" thing in my life. But, I feel like I'm getting too carried away in those things that should be common sense.
Does he seem like he has one foot out the door? Like he’s not fully invested? When you bring up the topic of where things are going, does he avoid the question or say he’s not ready to talk about it? This can feel like he’s pulling away, but think about it: maybe he’s not pulling away. Maybe he’s standing still and you’re pushing. It might feel the same to you, but there’s a difference.
HEY. I was dating him for almost 3 years. But after a year he met a girl who became her bff in a very short time. I was very jealous of their bond and dirty jokes etc. I stopped him from talking to her.i stopped him after 2 months of their friendship. But he used to miss her. Then for like rest kf 2 years we fought because he started talking to her without letting me know. I used to check his phone and he would have made other accounts to talk. Each time after getting caught he told me hes sorry. I used to breakup but he used to beg and tell me that he wont talk again. Then i started talking to him again. But the cycle continued. I abused the girl too but she used to say that its my boyfriend going back to her. But my boyfriend tried his best to leave her bff. He loved me a lot. Sometimes i used to do things to make him angry so in order to take revenge he talked to her. We are in the same school even his bff. Shes our junior. But my bf didnt met her in school their talk remained in online chating. But then then there was a group of my bf's friends and my friends. We all were friends but somehoe aur group broke up. We fought and his friends fucked up his mind. He fought with me. Yes i did for somethings which he would get hurt too but he then started meeting that girl. He brokeup with me. And this time he had no regret. He said that i made him do this. He added Snapchat stories to make me jealous. I was about to do suicide after that because i hated that girlll too much. Though the are justt friendss. And i cant do no contact periods because i can onlyy meet him after 3 days. No chance meeting after that.
This is eerily similar to the EX2 System, but can yield results. As an actual person that's used the method, I got stunning results after only a week, however, I should have pushed it out another week and it would have been much more effective and could have resulted in us getting back together, rather than meeting up and having sex in my Mustang one last time.
You begin interacting with the thoughts in your head rather than with the person in front of you. Rather than trying to learn who he is and what he’s about, you look at his behavior and the things he says as a means to measure how he feels about you… and whether you’re getting closer or further away from your goal of having a relationship with him.
I was with my ex for two years, after he propose we decided to have kids, a month later I was pregnant. Then everything goes down since then, all the negative things happened. After I giving birth, he told me he didn't love me anymore. I was depressed and breakdown. and he broke up with me when our son was 3 months old. He has depression and back then he switched off his feelings became extremely cold. now he says he still love me, I was someone special that he wanted to have kids with. we broke up last April, and last December he started a new relationship, they are together still. but the thing is we are still living together for some reasons that we have to for a while, maybe another year.( his gf doesn't live with us) I always keep the house tidy and he appreciates what I have done.

Where did I come up with this? Actually this really happened to me. I was dating a girl and after we broke up I happened to run into her at a Starbucks and even though we had a short friendly conversation I couldn’t take my eyes off of her because she just looked so gorgeous. She looked so good in fact that all I could think was “how in the hell did I let her get away?”

I remember when my husband and I moved in together, after about a month he pulled away for a bit. He wasn’t really rude about it but i think he just needed some space. I think he was just getting tired of me, like it was romance overload. I ended up burying myself in my own hobbies for a while and I think he ultimately appreciated me for giving him space. I think it’s hard in the moment but if the girl enjoys some time to pursue her own interests for a bit and waits for the man to resume… Read more »
I have a 4yr old girl and a 2 yr old boy. My kids dad and i was together for 12yrs i kno all to well that this happens. My best advice is to start putting the kids in childcare and you get a lil job you like or at a daycare being you you are use to caring for kids for like 4 hrs a day and stop focusing on him. And he’ll come bac around. Like that you’ll start building your own friendships and your always busy. Pay him less attention and he is gonna be like damn what happen and what he’s expecting. Have fun a mothers life is stressful to you need a outlet.
But FACT is that you have 2 choices (regardless of whether he’s a jerk and blowing you off, or if he genuinely cares about you and just needs space), you can chase after him demanding answers, or you can just breathe and get your own space, some me-time, rejuvinate yourself, get happy again outside of him. In time he will either disappear, never to be seen again, or he will come back. The point is that either way you will be fine because you’re happy anyway. This compared to chasing him, hunting him down, where you lose yourself in trying to get him/get answers/get even <– this is not healthy, and you end up sadder than if you just let go.
I did the NC rule according to your plan for 30 days after I moved out. I contacted him via messenger, I just kept it causal, asking him how he was and how work was. He also came over with some stuff to my new apartment, stuff that I had forgot when I moved out. The meeting went well, although he had a mutual friend with him, which I thought was strange since it was the first time we met since we broke up. Anyway, he contacted me just about 20 mins after he left, saying how nice my new apartment was, some improvements I could do and so on.
Answer: Sometimes all he needs is a little coaxing to figure out what’s going on. That involves being patient and giving him space and time to figure things out for himself and to discover what it is that he’s feeling. If you keep questioning him, things are going to get more jumbled, which will only lead to more confusion and will keep you two at odds. [Read: 9 ways to get your man to start communicating with you]
4. We are sad. And yes, men pull away when we are being sad or feeling down for some reason. We are waiting for you to come and ask “what’s wrong” and give us a hug. But if you don’t come we pull away even more. And more. And more until you come or we end up feeling that you don’t care about us. Men love empathic and loving womens. Even when we don’t admit it. Even most strongest alpha male wants to feel loved and cared when he feels weak and if you show us that you care we will love you forever. Seriously this isn’t a lie. Most simplest way to make a man stay true to you or love you is just to make him feel cared. Give him a hug when he needs it, tell him sometimes he still looks handsome and cool even when he’s getting older etc. I know that there is douchebags who will betray you no matter what you do or leave you, but real men want the same thing you do: to have that one loving partner in their life who makes them feel cared and loved every day.

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It has been proven that people appreciate the things that they invest in. For example, you’re more likely to fall in love and take better care of an expensive handbag if it took you 12 months worth of savings to purchase it. But for the purse your cousin gifted you for your 21st birthday, it stays crammed in the back of your closet. You didn’t have to work very hard to obtain it, so it doesn’t hold the same type of sentimental value to you. The same principal applies to relationships. People care more when they put more effort into their relationships, so if you want your guy to commit, you have to get him to invest in you!
It motivated me to search for a job even more, to subscribe to a sport to meet new people and make friends, to give him the freedom and the life he was asking for. A few days after, we went to a party and i gave him his space, made friend with other girls, I was doing great but he started talking with his former booty call right in front of me, which of course, made me feel so bad and jealous. So I ignored him the rest of the night. But I apologised the day after and it was ok.
I havnt texted him since nor have he reached out. Sigh I guess blow this , What to do now, surely feeling stuck to win him back. I shouldnt have done the letter because now he knows I want him back sigh this sucks. Not sure how to reverse that either. Timeline of contact & no contact. After the break up we went one week no contact and the week after that on a Monday I initiate contact so that he but his half the pay the bills. The Tuesday he initiated contact that he have paid his half. It was more a business conversation. On Wednesday was my birthday and he initiated contact through text to enjoy my day On the 22 he initiated contact that he was coming by the house, I didn't answer and 29 of November he initiated contact again Stating he was coming by the house I didn't answer. The reason I didn't respond was because he at the time he had my house keys so he had access, whenever he wants. He sent another text on the 29th Asking if I had paid a bill only then I respond. During this same week, I knew he was angry since his coworker told me that they didn't kiss, since her called got transferred to my phone and I ask her and she told him that I ask her. He then called me 7 times back to back but I didn't answer. I went 2 weeks no contact although he was the one to contact. On the 1st December I initiated contact asking if we could talk just to tell him what's going on that when he came to the house for the clothing. Since Monday December 5 2016 he haven't reach out and so I sent a text 10 December "you are truly one for a kind, unique in every way. I am so glad I met you because there is nobody else like you in the world" and today I2 December I sent " You changed me in positive ways that I am still just starting to understand" I got no response, should I cut off contact, or have I just blow my chances of getting him back. Sigh Add a comment......
So before looking for love through external sources such as dating women or starting a serious relationship or even taking your sacred, matrimonial vows, look deep within yourself and see if what you see makes you happy. If you are missing something, don’t love yourself, or even hate yourself for some reason, fix this first. Work on becoming your best possible self and striving to improve in whatever it is that doesn’t fulfill you now.
Julie, i’m glad you responded to my comment. Thank you! i needed a perspective of a third person, which you did n i really appreciate it. What you said does make sense, we had indeed just met. i only wished i had stayed longer to get to know him better. but my family said they needed me and I moved without even thinking twice. Funny thing is, after i did move, my mom was like she felt sad for me that i moved quitting my job and all and that i should’ve stayed back if i wanted to. i was like in my mind, are you serious?! lol
During the no contact period you’ll need to communicate high Dating Market Value to your ex…without actually directly communicating with her. Put another way, you’ll need to send signals out that make it clear to her that you’re a high DMV man – without making direct contact with her as you do that. This gives you the best of both worlds, you get the benefits of No Contact but you also get the benefits of boosting your DMV in her mind.

Hi, I have been talking with a man that is older then me. He is very private and he needed space so I gave it to him. Out of respect cause I once was in his shoes. And found myself again when i had my own time. We haven’t had sex in the months we been together. Just talking and enjoying one another company. There are times he asks me to stay with him more now days and I do. Still no Sex, alot of kissing and holding. Then we both stop one another before it goes further. Why? Idk but we respect one another more. But I have noticed we have recently stopped talking like we use to. The convos shorten. Our conversations are about our days, and some sexting or just straight talk n tease about being romantic. We just have fun. I do know he dont to hurt me, n he is afraid of his own actions. He’s the touchy feely type with women. And it surprises him I don’t get mad or jealous. He tells me he ain’t use to the way I act towards stuff like that. I’ve asked him if he’s trying to push me away he says no then he says maybe… I don’t feel he is cheating, I just think we are both scared to take the next step. Cause we both hurt and was hurt in our last relationships. Getting confused need some advice.
He Says He Misses Me: What Does It Mean When He Says He Misses You? The 10 Biggest Signs Your Ex Misses You How To Give Him Space So That He Misses You And Comes Back When Does A Man Miss A Woman? How To Make A Man Miss You (In 3 Steps) How to Give Someone Space Without Losing Them (Or Losing Your Mind) Exactly How To Make Your Ex Miss You After A Breakup
You don't have to stay in the dark forever, though. If it's been about six months and he hasn't dropped one hint about where he sees this going, casually speak up, says Jennifer Kelman, a licensed social worker and relationship expert at Pearl.com. For example, if you'd like him to meet your parents, ask if he'd be up for going out to dinner with them, but let him know there's no harm if he's not quite ready for that yet. Above all, keep the tone light and maintain open lines of communication.
If you and your ex were in any type of serious relationship, then they will not be able to move on so quickly. In fact, no contact is only going to make them miss you more and remember the good things about you. You have to take a leap of faith over here. The alternative to no contact is being a creep and texting and stalking your ex all the time, which will probably lead to a restraining order against you. You really don’t have much of an option.

The common thread that underlies these seven deadly sins is neediness. Neediness is the state of mind that encourages all the above actions. Believing that your ex is the source of your happiness, sense of well-being and/or self-esteem, is the type of thinking that will have you groveling and begging for your ex. Neediness is a state of mind more than a set of behaviors, it just manifests itself in certain actions. It’s a feeling that says: “I need you to respond to me in a certain way in order to feel OK.” (Make sure to read this article for more on neediness and how to prevent it.)


Hi I was engaged to my fiance for 11 years and things were going great until last July when he left me. In September I heard that he was seeing another woman that devastated me they split up in November, in December just before Xmas he contact me saying that he missed me and wanted to work things out, 2 weeks later he went cold on me yet again I was left heartbroken. Towards the end of January he turned up on my doorstep and asked if he could talk about getting back together; this time he took me out on dates and said that we would take things slowly I agreed. It is now the middle of February and he said to me that he needs space a week later I messaged him to see if he was ok and he did not reply back for hours saying that he ok. I am stuck in limbo as he has gone cold again I don’t know what to do anymore?
Hey. I dated this guy for four years and I figured he was the love of my life. Over the last few months however we had been arguing a lot because of insecurities on my part. We had a serious argument that pushed him too far and he broke and told me that he couldn’t see himself going anywhere with me after it despite loving me and that I brought out the worst in him at that moment. I threw something belonging to him across the room in the argument and proceeded to ask him to leave. I’d been reminded of an earlier issue and just reacted without thought. It hurts a lot not only because Ive lost him but because I know I’m the reason. At first I was angry but asked him if there was anything I could do to fix my wrongs and if he was sure there was nothing left to fight for. He told me he’s serious about it and it’s not what he wants anymore, that I have issues with the way I want to handle things. He even brought up my abuse and told me he thinks I’m like that because I grew up in a violent home so argument is always my first approach. After rereading the messages I may have come off a little needy and desperate. I just figured fighting for the relationship and showing him how much I didn’t want to lose it was the best call but now after reading this article I’m not so sure. He told me he wanted to be friends and in the same breath even asked to come over by me to fix a problem on my phone he’s known about for a while but never got around doing for me. Is this fair? He dumps me but the day after wants to be over by me after seeing how much I asked him to stay. For this I told him that it was okay and that I’d get help elsewhere as I want to give him his space but “thank you anyway”. I want him back but I’ve recognised my faults and want to fix them first. With this scenario in mind do you think there is a chance for us ?

This cannot be considered acceptable due to one person’s higher testosterone levels. . Even with his extenuating circumstances, this departure went far beyond any excusable or understandable behavior, and it devastated me, causing me to question many things I thought were firm, honest beliefs. Nothing I had done or we had weathered warranted an abrupt-almost deliberately cruel departure. I get what so many people are saying here. We ‘get’ men need more space, but, many learn to use this as license to avoid painful conflicts or act horridly. It’s as much give & take as everything in love & some men take their fill, with no responsibility felt to give the most basic of human actions. Great article. Cut close.


Justin Stenstrom is a nationally acclaimed life coach, author, entrepreneur, and speaker. He is the founder of EliteManMagazine.com, the author of the book Giving Shy Guys Game, and the host of the Elite Man Podcast on iTunes. His mission is to provide men with the best tools to become complete gentleman. Justin is an ordinary guy with an extraordinary hunger for the advancement of today’s gentleman. Once shy, insecure, depressed, and unhappy, Justin’s overcome many of life’s greatest obstacles and loves nothing more than helping other guys do the same! For a complete bio on Justin click here.
#3 He has lost attraction. At the beginning of a relationship, all a man can do is dream about having sex with you. At this point in your relationship, the brain releases a hormone called dopamine in response to dreaming about being with you. After about three to four months, however, the brain’s production begins to taper off, and it’s like the drug has worn off. When that happens, he doesn’t understand what’s going on. Afraid that he is no longer attracted to you, he may begin to pull away.
Reason #3. You may still be in shock and denial about your past relationship but once you clear your head, you can probably list a good number of really bad things that happened in your relationship, ranging from arguments to the silent treatment or worse. When we are broken up with, we tend to focus on the breezy early good memories from when we were head-over-heals in love. But that is unlikely to be the state of your relationship towards the end of it. Do you really want your relationship back as it was toward the end of it? Probably not. You want the beginning. But the thing is, the beginning cannot reoccur. It only occurs when your hormones and neurotransmitters are completely out of wrack, and you are crazy madly in love, because everything is new. Things cannot be new now, not now. Maybe in six months or two years, but not now.
If your guy is having a hard time, be it from external sources like his job or he’s having some internal emotional issue, you have to give him the space to work through it on his own. If he wants to talk to you about it, he’ll seek you out. And if he does, make sure you listen to him, don’t use this as an opportunity to voice your opinions on the matter and try to solve it for him. If he wants your advice, he’ll ask for it.
If your man is the one for you then you need to learn to understand him. You need to learn what motivates him and what scares him. Once you understand him you should be able to create a relationship where he doesn’t feel threatened. If he doesn’t feel threatened then he will be less likely to pull away which should result in the two of you having more time to develop your relationship.
 Change up your look. Making small changes to your hair or wardrobe can have a huge impact on your overall confidence and make you feel good about yourself. In fact, tweaking your external appearance can, amazingly, inspire the courage you need to make more substantial changes. Something as simple as honing your personal style can eventually lead to actions and choices that can improve your energy, satisfaction, and joy in life. Investing time and energy in making small improvements to your outer appearance makes you feel joyful, confident, and entirely yourself and will only lead to good things.
Ok so I don’t know how to start. My boyfriend and I had a 5 year age gap. And I recently just had him end a relationship of 1 year and like 9 months. We met on Facebook through a mutual friend and talked for a couple weeks in the beginning of Dec. 2016 until his birthday in January of 2017. Three days after his birthday party he invited me back over to hangout with him and the female mutual friend (who I met through work, she was like his older sister, she told me. And his neighbor) Anyway it was just me and him hanging out for a few hours and by the end of the night he romantically asked me to be his girlfriend, because we talked for weeks before meeting and he wanted to exclusively see me and date. I said yes. Fast forward maybe a month or a couple months and things were going great. We hungout on weekends, he came into my work to see me right after he got out from work almost every other day. It was very sweet. We went to movies, we went to his friends & his parents and were doing all kinds of stuff. People I knew from work would come to his house and hangout, watch movies, play games etc. Then I finally confessed to my parents that I was staying at his house (basically living there, I stayed 3 or more nights with him.) Everythjng was exciting and fun & sweet. Fast forward a week maybe and he asked me to move in. I said yes and told my parents my decision. I’m a cluttery/messy person.. and he’s OCD. Anyway after we were together over a year he said that maybe we should break up. He said he loved me very much but the house was always a mess (and I was working a ton of late nights as a pharmacy tech & always studying so I was tired. ) He told me the house being dirty was depressing and things with our relationship weren’t as exciting as the beginning. I managed to ask him to give me another try, I promised to keep the house clean & to do more activities with him. For a few months things were great, we went to his friends almost every weekend. We enjoyed activities with his & my parents. And we still hungout with our mutual friend (his neighbor).i ended up quitting my job and we went to Florida for 2weeks. We stayed with his family along the way and I met everyone. That was this past april. Things were great. We even recently went to Wisconsin together for a family wedding. Then tragedy hit over 10 days ago. His parents had moved down south before April, and I knew he missed them a lot. He rarely spoke compared to his every day phone calls with them. They were always busy now. So he invited one of his best friends to stay for a week with us to kinda pick himself back up I guess. It created tensions between us. We went to get him downstate for the weekend and I don’t like doing things outdoors/active.. idk why. Anyway ever since then he stopped holding my hand & kissing me goodbye before work. He even stopped kissing me when he got home from work, he withdrew from me almost completely, and I’ve always been clingy. But I was coming up on 7 months with no work and money was tight so I blamed it on that. Long story short he broke up with me 10 days ago. He said we are two different people and he needs an active and clean/neat partner. And I need someone to motivate and wake me up when repetition happens because I can deal with the same thing everyday. But not him. So for the past 7 months I’ve been trying to sell soaps. And he hasn’t been exactly supportive. He doesn’t talk about it. We would fight because he wouldn’t say anything positive he just would say oh cool. But he wasn’t negative or thought it was stupid either, I got his mom into the hobby. I miss him now. I don’t know if he will ever comeback. I’m desparate.. I was with him for almost 2 years, so many memories, i moved in with him and left my family & friends behind. They lived 30 minutes from where we lived. Nobody ever visited because of distance. I was ready to marry him, and at one point he did too. But the day we broke up he said something was missing in his life and he needed time alone. I have so much I could say, but this is already too long. And I recently made an okcupid account and found he had reactivsted his old one. I am so depressed that he’s moving on already. He didn’t want to give me anymore chances to change and he didn’t want to fix things.. But he swore up and down he’s always supported and loved me. He said he still loves me but we don’t work. Somebody please reply, I’m losing my best friend and the man I love. I know couples can change & grow together in relationships, I just feel because he’s depressed and isolated from everybody hat he’s pushing me away too.. I can do but leave him alone because he doesn’t like to message me anymore. I had a new phone he persuaded me to get with him when he wanted one too, everything was contract & in his name. It was a hassle to get it switched back to me & make payments w/o a job. Same with my car insurance. We were looking at houses and everything. It was like overnight he changed..
I’m on the other side of the coin. I’ve been dating a woman for three years and she is a raging workaholic. We rarely spend time together, if we do she falls asleep, or we have time to do nothing because she always has to be AT WORK. Living together would solve some of the problems but she always has an excuse as to why she works all the time or some martyr-ific After two years, I’ve finally gotten tired of trying to communicate my feelings and am taking time for myself. It’s hard to talk when you feel that someone is not listening.
Our third attempt—and, you guessed it, the ensuing breakup—was kind of a glitch in the space-time continuum. It was 2009, and at this point I’d realized Mary was not an easy person to please. I coasted through the relationship, and she called me out where other girls I’d been with brushed off my repeated bad behavior. Our second breakup had reinforced the notion that no relationship comes easy and you have to put in the work, but I still sucked.
So as much as you want him to open up and think he “should,” you can’t demand it of him. The best thing to do is back off and give him some space. Spend that time focusing on yourself instead of worrying why he’s pulling away from you and what to do about it. Work on recharging your batteries so that you can put positive juice into the relationship.
Hi, my boyfriend of 4+ years broke up with me. We went through about 2 months worth of breaking up. Sleeping in motels, gradually moving out back into my step-dads. We were basically married without the paperwork. His family called me their daughter-in-law, we shared bank accounts, bought a car together. And one day after a stupid argument, he woke up and said he wasn't happy. My whole world collapsed. Yeah I know we had problems here and there, but nothing serious enough to actually break-up over. I was shocked. He said he had warned me here and there about things, but I guess I didn't take it seriously enough. Had I known I would have never let this happen. He said he couldn't anymore. I had hurt him too much and he resented me too much to let go and move forward. I feel like I addressed my mistakes and apologized, but he didn't let me show him how I would try to fix them. Now he has finally dropped off the rest of my stuff, and our cat we got together, at the place Im staying at now. When we hugged and said goodbye I could feel him shaking but he still pushed me away. When he walked out the door he did turn around and wave with tears in his eyes, but he still left. He still would rather not be with me, than be with me. I want him back so bad, I know we are good for each other. Im willing to do anything. Will your system work? Should I try anymore? Is there even a chance?
Luckily, the period of no contact will give you the time to put in place practices and structures to help you drop your stories and see things in a more positive light. Journaling, meditating, and yoga also helps. Maybe it sounds a little too new-age for you, but intense emotional experiences can send your thoughts into overdrive, so it’s really important to try and find a stillness within and learn to quiet your mind, or at least slow it down a bit.
If you’re really worried that your ex is going to get into a new relationship, or you know he’s in one and you want to find out whether it’s real or not, this article will give you the signs that his new relationship is a rebound. That way, you can get a definitive answer to the question, “Is he in a rebound relationship?” and move on with putting the no contact rule to work for you.
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