'Never look back' That's what they say, right? And most of us fully subscribe to this. Exes are exes for a reason, aren't they? And up until last year, I was the world's biggest advocate of leaving the past in the past. I've never stayed friends with any of my exes (because I think there is literally no point) and I'd certainly never considered getting back with one of them. Hell no.
Your first instinct is probably to talk all night and fall in love with his charming voice all over again, right?  Wrong move.  Besides calling too soon or calling too much, the next mistake a woman makes is to talk too much rather than ending the conversation a little sooner than usual.  In fact, if you really want him to miss you end the conversation first and don’t let it drag on until you get back that intimacy you lost.  He doesn’t deserve that intimacy, not right now.
Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.
I recently dated someone who seemed to love and accept me more than anyone ever had before. He was unbelievably caring and always looked after me. He was almost over the top in his affection and seemed to wanna get serious very fast. He continued being very affectionate for the entire relationship but I noticed in the last few weeks he was making less and less time for me and started having occasional cranky moments where he seemed judgemental or said he felt pushed into things.
Im also experiencing this right now. I’ve been talking to this guy for a month. He texts and calls me everyday and after two weeks he said that he is falling in love with me. I told him that if I want to commit it should be with someone who is serious and for long term. He said he’s looking for the same too. And so we decided to meet and spend the day together. We were so happy and compatible. I felt safe and comfortable with him so I decided to get steady with him. Even it was time for me to go he’s still the same. Sweet and caring he even said that he wants to come and visit my home. Few more days and texting and nothing is changed he’s still the same guy I met so I was really worried when suddenly he stopped communicating with me. I let the 4 days passed without asking him what’s the problem. As I was so worried and confused I texted him like this ” I’m afraid my bf has been abducted by Pokemons. Do you know anything about this?” Just to make the convo light. Then he replied ” who are you?”. That moment I felt like my heart was torn into pieces. Here I was, so worried but then he just don’t care. I’ve waited a few days more and I asked him what’s the problem? He said that he’s been thinking if he’s the right guy for me cuz he has no direction. He doesn’t know what he wants in life and asked me if he is someone that I would like to spend my life with. He said that he love me but he’s too scared. I told him that love is a gamble. And I gambled for him and that I was really hurt by his actions. I even said that I thought we could achieve what we want together, but he didn’t say anything. I ended up the convo by saying that I will always pray for him and I wish that someday he would find what he wants in life and I hope he could find someone who would make him happy. He did not reply . So I guess that’s it. He pulled back and im not sure if I did the right thing. I think that he doesn’t want me anymore but I still love him and would be willing to figure out things together but it was him who gave up. I asked myself if I want someone like that I think I don’t. So yeah we broke up.

Dark and mysterious or blithering babbler…find a middle ground that does not include talking about your ex, complaining about your health, going over chapter and verse about who you are, what you do and why. This applies to both disclosing your personal details and being mindful of the questions you ask your date. Remember, you’re both strangers and should be respectful of each other’s privacy.
Hi, I need some major help. I am 46 and found the woman of my dreams. Our relationship was great, but all of the sudden out of the blue she said that "she loves me, but is not in love with me". I knew this was not the case by her actions, she was very loving, intimate, and by how she looked at me. that was on a Tuesday. I kept in contact with her for a couple days and found out that she was not in the same place I was in the relationship. She said that she felt nervous and rushed into the relationship and was not ready to take it to the next step. On Thursday, she broke it off with me and said she needed time to to think. Well, I was stupid and kept sending her messages and trying to talk to her because it was just such a shock to me, I was having a very hard time understanding. On Saturday, she blocked all my accounts and said she would contact me "If and when she was ready". I have NO CLUE what to do now. Obviously there will not be any other contact unless she initiates it. I know I have to do the no contact now, but is it too late? Is there anything I can do to fix this? She gave me a whole 48 hours after the breakup to calm down and understand and give her the space she needs. PLEASE HELP!!
Getting a guy to commit isn’t that hard at all. You just need to know what you want and be bold enough to go after it. Some studies say that the word ’want’ is one of the most powerful words on the planet. And if you have been wondering what makes a man commit, then wonder no more.; just find little ways to make him 'want' you. Turn this demanding word into something sexy and use it to your advantage. Tell him what you want and when you want it. But don’t make it sound like you are a spoiled brat or like you are being bossy. Just make sure you give out the vibe of a confident woman whose views and wishes can’t be shaken just because you’re in love. Men like to rule but they love a woman who knows when to take control; he will love that, for sure.
I was in a friends with benifits relationship and after a couple of months i told him i loved him i knew he didnt feel that way for me but i was ok with it . We spent alot of time together alot of sex and got on a rutine i would stay over night one day a week and we did dinner and drinks watch games etc i thought things were great. Then he needed space blew me off for the weekend and now barly talks to me he is 54 and in am 47 at our age we know what we want but i do love him and just dont know what to do i tried to talk to him and he just says he needs space.. do you think he is not coming back? Do you think hes scared ? I dont know what to do
Anyway, she decided to breakup, cause she lost all her feelings(it was 1.5 month ago). After that, I made common mistakes, again and again, and in the end I told her: "I give you 1.5 month(till the end of the summer) to think about it all. If you contact me during this period, we will try to build healthy relationship, in other case, I will be lost for you as a person, you will have no opportunity to talk to me/see me etc.". Now she is in another city(to visit parents, by the way, they are against me) abd she will be there for 3 weeks. My question is, how to make no-contact period after my words about "1.5 months", while she knows, that I'm waiting for that? And I have no conversations with her for a week, and when she returns-it will be the end of no-contact, but will she think of me, while she will be on a vacation with her parents? Maybe I have to contact her before these 1.5 months end? Or should I write her and tell, that I decided to take my words about 1.5 month back?
If your guy is taking his time with asking you to be his girlfriend, a simple way you can speed things along is to already play the part of the woman in his life. Now, you don’t want to go overboard with this trick, because if done incorrectly, you can definitely scare the guy off. Instead of coming on strong and being in his face 24/7, subtly integrate yourself into his life so that he can’t imagine his life without you.

There was no “trick” to getting Mary back for good. Going through a tragedy had changed me. It was terrible, but it helped me grow the hell up, and by the time Mary and I crossed paths again, I was ready to be the kind of person who texts back and keeps plans and buys presents for no apparent reason. We don’t yell at each other in the street anymore, and that’s pretty cool.


What if she is back in this “i dont want a relationship right now” ideal again, due to my familiar outburst that brought her back to where I was before. I assume I should work on rebuilding attraction? And only texting her little by little and not all the time like we already were? Make her miss me some more? How exactly should I approach after reaching out again after a week or two?
Would if children were involved??????÷!!! EVEN AS CLOSE FRIENDS FOR A COUPLE Of YEARS!!! Four children involved…..one mine, three his. My daughter and his daughter in same school and class. Last time I heard from him waS a text messge New Years Eve….told me he was still working. The guy is 47…..it sucks for me….but my child wants to know what happened to him….and wants to play with his daughter. Not only that…his daughter and my daughter taLk in class and tell each other they want to play.
Me and my 2 years girlfriend broke up in August because she felt that I don’t need her. I basically do all the don’ts that were outlined. I was angry back then because she didn’t say the reason she wants to brake up. I did most of the deadly miskates you mentioned above i.e texting, begging, show affection, name calling. What can I do to win her back after what I did?
It’s confusing and it hurts. I heard what she said but it doesn’t feel like it’s really over. I’m doing my best not to read too much into it but I know I want her back and the only thing I can hope for is the chance to right my wrongs. Maybe there’s a chance, maybe there’s not. I’m not good at reading these things. But I think back to when me and my ex broke up and if I would’ve just left her alone, we would’ve gotten back together. I guess that’s the move with this girl. Give her the time and space she needs. I love her. She needs to be free and if she comes back, then it wasn’t meant to be. If not, so be it. Major L but what can I do?
You don’t have to hang out with him all the time. You should also catch up with your friends often. Plan a girls’ night out or a girl’s trip, then share to him some fun moments with your friends. After spending a few days away from him, he may be happy you’re having a good time but he will also become jealous. If he sees how much fun you’re having, he’s going to want to come along on your next adventure. This way, you can also balance out the equation and do something without him which will ultimately make him miss you.
Hi Rosie! I love the way you talk (“I don’t want to talk to him from a place of blame but one of giving and what I want to give is my confidence, mysetry, joy and best self and love myself completely so I can give them my best self”). I couldn’t say it better myself! Make sure you have a good blueprint to work from, so if you have not picked up a copy of my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, you should do so. (i.e. website Menu/Products link).. It is massive and covers so much…in so much detail. Kinda like a Companion Guide that helps you along the way and optimizes one’s chances. I think you have very good understanding of the No Contact Principle. Maybe since things ended in an arguement, you make a little exception to the NC rule and reach out just give him a heads up that you are progressing thru your own self discovery process and just wanted him to know you appreciate him recommending that the two of you take some space (even if he didn’t recommend it). So what you accomplish is a little connection so he knows that he is not far from your mind and you are working to be the best version of yourself. That may be intriguing to him and enhance “your” value in his mind.
Im not gonna brag but my momma gave birth to a beauty and I can’t hide it on my worst day. I’m intelligent, sweet and spicy saucy, intuitive. I work out and have a very nice natural body and no im not in my 20’s or 30’s either. everywhere i go almost everyday i get noticed by men and women alike. ive come to the conclusion that some of these me DO NOT BELIEVE THEY DESERVE A FINE ASS WOMAN such as myself. I know this because, with a couple of them they went for the woman who had less requirements and lower standards. they were I won’t say ugly, but i mean if we’re being honest, they were not a woman I could have been compared to. i hate saying this because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we are born with what we have. i don’t say what i said to sound rude, but all women don’t look the same just like all men are not 220 with perfect abs full head of hair and perfect teeth and gorgeous blue eyes etc. plus one of them even told me he couldn’t give me what i was looking for. and he was probably right after hindsight. i do want a man who can afford a car, and i do want a man who is willing to call me and not use texting as much. i do want a man who isn’t hung up on his druggie ex girlfriend and I do want a man who can get his own place to live. yeah now that i think about it he was right.
Hi Eric,i really need ur advice thrs a guy whom i love i ve alrdy askd him out we’ve meet twice bt iam very serious about him..he said he does not want to b in a relationship..as he just had a break up wth smbdy…bt he also sayss that he will never let me go things would be the same as wen ur in relationship just it wont be official..but niwdays i feel he gets irritated while speakn online…i want him to be mine forevr…wat should i do to get him commit nd love me….
Hi Sophia! I am sorry your ex is being abusive to you. You don’t deserve that. No one does. It sounds like he is being manipulative by trying to talk you into getting an abortion as a requirement to see him. The double messaging seems to be his way of trying to control you. You should consult with your family, your physician and others you trust before you do anything around an abortion. Do you really want to be with this guy? I do think No Contact would help you heal and gaining some perspective about what is important in your life.
If your guy is taking his time with asking you to be his girlfriend, a simple way you can speed things along is to already play the part of the woman in his life. Now, you don’t want to go overboard with this trick, because if done incorrectly, you can definitely scare the guy off. Instead of coming on strong and being in his face 24/7, subtly integrate yourself into his life so that he can’t imagine his life without you.

But no matter what you’ll have to seduce your ex and inspire them to get back together. Getting an ex back is often linked to your ability to be yourself and to not let your emotions or feelings change who you are at your core. So don’t try to seduce your ex by being someone you’re not; it won’t be sustainable anyways and your ex will probably see right through you!
It’s also really important to take into consideration how often these things are happening, and how long it’s been going on. If you’ve dated for a year and he’s hardly every canceled a date, then all of a sudden over the course of one month he’s canceled on you three times, remember that this is one month out of many! Don’t erase those first 12 months in your mind as if they didn’t happen.
@Will-thanks for the kind words. I’m sorry to hear that you, too, have been through the wringer with something similiar. You’re right, there should *not* be any level of behavior that we’re uncomfortable with…not only that but behavior that is seriously disturbing & broken, not even remotely within the bounds of normality-that we should allow or give the ‘excusable ‘ pass to, because of whatever. Unfortunately, the heart wants what it wants & will twist things around in order to make behavior ‘acceptable’ enough to continue dealing with. In my case, even making him the sad, ‘victim’ of life’s lots, that I should nurse along until I ‘healed him’ (hahahaha). He still choses to ignore me rather than allowing me a say or rather, *the* say that I need in order to close this never-ending story out. That infuriates me. But, c’est la vie, and I have no choice, after being thrown abruptly into the freezing cold, deep end of the pool, but to swim out. That, I’m doing. If I know him…he’ll be back, all sweet words & hearts. This disgusts me to admit-but, I don’t know that I won’t accept him with open arms when he does, as sick as that is and *I KNOW* it is! Urrrgh!!! Why is it, that, there are those few ppl you’d follow straight to Hell just to get a 5 second fix of the ‘high’ they give you, rather than leave them be, and continue living in (relatively) Heavenly states?
Eric I wanted to say thank you! All of your articles remind everyone of what is really important about life and happiness! I realize that it is time to stop chasing ones that don’t want to be chased by me! I know I have a lot to offer but I am excited to say I am not scared to be alone I love my life, my friends! I love this article because it just helps remind me that I don’t want a guy that brings out the crazy if he likes my vibe and we click I am not gonna worry cuz he will want more! If it changes stop worrying or trying because you don’t want to work on something that is onesided! You have opened my eyes to see that if I can’t see my worth and value how can I expect anyone else! So keep writing your honest and inspiring pieces! I am so excited about my future and all the adventures this year could bring! Xoxoxo
I meant a friend who directed me to Dr. Ikhine on the internet who help people to solve their problem and then i wrote to him and he said i should not worry about anything, that i should give him 48 hours for him to cast a spell for me and after that 48 hours my ex boyfriend called me on my office line and started begging. That is how my ex boy friend came back to me contact dr.wingsperfect.life@gmail. com put a smile in your face once again his help is guaranteed. more life in love
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