If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.
It was good, but the toxic feelings from the first breakup followed us wherever we went. Mary had let go of that fun-in-the-sun, summer-fling, freewheelin’ attitude I had desperately tried and failed to bring to our last relationship. She had made new friends and learned valuable lessons since our breakup, the biggest one being that guys who try to hold on to their high school ex-girlfriends are as dumb as they are stupid.

If I could give one big piece of advice it would be when a man pulls away, try not to take it personally. Believe me, I know this is way easier said than done. Everything is going great, you start to think this guy could be the one and then boom, he disappears for what seems to be no apparent reason. If you can relate to this, it probably isn’t your fault. Although it’s impossible to give an exact reason why he pulled away, most of the time it’s his own personal issue’s. If it’s really bugging you, there’s an… Read more »
He could of went out on a night out in those days, kissed another girl or something. So I wanted him to properly decide his decision before he did this. 2 days after we broke up, I went to his house to give him back his stuff (bad idea I know!), I just wanted to see him so bad and wanted to know his final decision. I knew it wasn’t going to be good and it wasn’t. He didn’t want to get with me.
As an older man, I’m not sure if I can explain what’s happening and how relationships have changed over the past 40 years or so. Young men, like my son and his friends, view relationships differently from their fathers and are in the process of changing the relationship landscape forever. In my day, marriage was assumed and divorce was rare. Today, divorce is assumed, along with alimony and marriage, is to be avoided at all costs. Your boyfriends might not be pulling away from you as much as they are pulling away from a society that views them as disposable… Read more »
I spent 6 years with my ex. We were young when we got together and we weren’t good at resolving conflict. But I truly believe we loved each other and that he is the right person for me. We both had a habit of ‘pulling away’. Push, pull, if it wasn’t him, it was me. By the end of it, it was dramatic. It was traumatic for me and him too because we didn’t know how to work it out. Since then we’ve both tried seeing other people. But somehow after 9 months we ended up back spending time together. Getting to know each other again. We started to get close… I never pressured him to be with me but I do love him. I’ve tried to be a lot more understanding of his space. Even his friends have said – ‘this is the best you guys have ever been’… But then shortly after he told me his friend had commented on our ‘changed friendship’ and how close we were getting, he attacked me saying I was getting too comfortable. I was so confused because he had been asking me to stay over and he said he was enjoying his time hanging out. That’s what we established it was. We’ve never put a label on anything and have been free to live our separate lives because of what we have been through there was no use rushing anything even a friendship. I was happy with that and I thought he was too.
“Can you tell me why men pull away?” This is one of the most common questions I hear in my coaching sessions. So why do they pull away? In this article, I am going to walk you through different scenarios that can shed light on why this may be happening to you and give you a different perspective to reflect on and make this stop once and for all. This is a common trend in today’s society, and if you have landed on this article, I know that you have probably been directly affected by it or are afraid of experiencing this with someone you’re interested in.

Here;s an interesting one and maybe I am being a brat but I'm going to ask anyway. Late October I started seeing this guy. I did everything wrong one the first date, but I din't care one bit because I honestly didn't find him to be great looking. Super nice, great dresser, good body, but different than I expected. Anyway, we went out again because if a guy seems to have most of the qualities I like, if I think he's super nice and cool, I'll give it a try. We sleep together on date 2 and again, I DON'T CARE that I probably should not have. He still wants to see me though. After date four, I decide I'm just trying to like the guy so I tell him I can't see him anymore. I don't say exactly why but that something is not there.He starts to ask why and then backs off (smart) and takes it like a gentleman.That was after like 2 weeks. The next day or two all I do is tell my friends about this and it occurs to me I'm thinking about him nonstop. So I text him and BAM! Back together, dating and having the best sex I have EVER had in my life. We text a lot, he intiates, I don'tact needy at all... It's nice, it's warm, it's sexy, it's just great. THEN... his mom dies. He has to leave town but he just keeps on texting me the whole time. Before that he even invited me into his own world at a ceremony he had to attend. Up to this point he says thing like when you meet so and so and things like that. While out of town, everything is still great and he says he doesn't want to dwell on his mom.I respect that so I don't push at all. Before he gets back he he says he needs to take me to his home town (a popular vacation destination). When he gets back I meet him but his flight was delayed so it's pretty late (not normal for us to do late night stuff like that). I even said if it's too late let's reschedule. He says no so I go. The next day is fine... texting blah blah blah, but the following day he seems to be distant. I do nothing. The next day, today, I text him first. He says he had a headache the day before but it's probably stress over deciding to leave an old job for a new one and a lawsuit he's in. He then tells me about it. But.... he definitely seems more distant than when his mom died, so I'm thinking am I just being a complete brat here or is he actually losing interest. It seems really obvious to me but I have recently decided I don't make excuses for a man's behaviour any more. If they want you, no matter the circumstances, you know it. what's your take? Feel free to completely call me out, if I am just being a big baby here. At this point, I actually do really like the guy. I wish he would say something like "I'm cray about you" or something but his actions up to this point have been great so saying words may be a bit much to expect less than 2 months in anyway. Either way, I just want to know if I should completely bail at this point because I hate this feeling!

Last friday we had our last fight, and he broke up with me the morning after. He said that it was too much for him, that he was not cut out for this. And he added that he doesnt feel the same way as he used to, he is exhausted, he never has time to think about himself cause our communication problems and my anxiety are always in his head. He said he still loves me but that its not the same, its broken. And that he wont change his mind, even though a part of him wishes that we could work again in the future. We broke up over the phone but he invited me to his place after, and of course I came to try and reason with him. We had sex, and it was hard. But we didnt fight, and he insisted on being friends.
I recently stumbled across your podcasts and blogs. My boyfriend recently broke up with me about 4 days ago. We had been long distance for 2 and a half years, just went on our first vacation together, and had already gone through some really difficult times with family issues. We were always there for each other, really good at communicating, being honest, making trips to see each other, and times to call and/or FaceTime. The past few months we had some issues, all small minor things, that seemed to be fixed and okay, but he said that the past few months made him unsure about closing the distance, the future, and just made him want to focus on himself. Even though we mutually called this a “break” we’re going through it like a normal break up. He said he didn’t want things to end horribly and wanted to be friends, and although he’s not sure if time and growth and fix the issues he’s not ruling out the possibility of us getting back together. I agreed and said that I do believe time, space ,growth and self reflection can really help focus on what to do differently, if we were to try us out again, and may fix the issues. Even with me saying that he agreed. We both shared such a special connection, and because of the family problems that happened, spending holidays together and going to each other’s college graduations, I do believe he just needs time to himself. His sister even told me she strongly believes he will come back and so many people have as well. The last text sent was me telling him I needed time before I could even talk to him, and it may take a while. He said he understands that and I understand he does not wan to be in a relationship at this moment and for a while. Even though it hurts, there’s something in my gut that keeps telling me that although I love him enough to let him go and figure himself out, he will come back. I don’t know when but I believe it. I’ve already started reflecting in a journal and writing down what I would work on in the future to make the relationship stronger and better. I really want him to come back, and I believe he will even though I know I have to tell myself that maybe he won’t. There’s already been so many signs I’ve been seeing that correlate with him and his interests that are telling me we’ll be okay. I’m not angry, and there’s no hatred towards him which is also weird. I’m glad he was honest with me now instead of further down the line like if we were visiting each other or something. I’ve been reading everything and I’ve started the no contact rule and although I heard he deleted pictures from our recent vacation he’s also been distant with things. I know this is a good time for self reflection on both individuals. I would love to try us again sometime and I do believe we could make it work.
The rationale is that you will become more attractive and desirable when your ex experience a twinge of jealousy that comes from knowing that other people find you attractive post-breakup. This tactic is called social proof which is very powerful. When other people find you attractive and fun, your ex is more likely to see you the same way as well.
Know that relationship issues are never one person’s fault. A relationship is between two people, so never let your partner blame you for all of the issues in your relationship. Someone who passes blame and refuses to think about their own role will be very difficult, if not impossible, to get on your side. Never let someone force you to change to save a relationship – this is a sign of a controlling and unhealthy relationship.
It was hidden for 6 months. Kevin, I have seen married couples keeps issues hidden for many many years. It is not about the time. As of now you know about the situations and it is not something to distress about. I need you to put in into your mind that your girlfriend has not cheated on you. Do not let issues as such break into your relationship. I have read your part and I have read hers. I have also see the list and I agree to it. Both of you will grow stronger and closer by using it. Love and cherish each other. You stated that it has been cleared out. I am very ecstatic to hear this. I ask you both, do not let anyone into your relationship. Do not assume anything. Always tell each other if something has happened. Make you bonds stronger and your walls higher. Your relationship has a very long way to go.
Long story short, this article helped put things in perspective again. I’m going to try my Damndest to give him space when he seems to pull away, play the cool understanding girl a little while longer, & endure. I do love him with every ounce of my heart & soul. I have always been a very confident person & have NEVER let anyone “treat me” this way. But, I’ve also never loved someone so deeply nor with this personality type before.
8 months now, we normally live together but he’s away sometimes to take care of the kids for like a week every month which no problem for me. He agreed that moving back to that location is good for the kids education but for her he’s not sure. However, my concern is that he now has to be away to that new location that his ex and kids will move to (it’s also his hometown), to help on finding the apartment and prepare for schooling.
We broke up so sudden. I said one thing he didn’t like and it was like a switch. He had flipped just like that. Then all of a sudden all these problems he’s been thinking about has came up. I’m still trying to understand them. I’m still trying to understand which reasonings he said are actually true and which aren’t. It’s been 4 days, ive texted him once. No reply. I havent tried again, and I refuse to. I would hate to push him away further.

Here’s my problem, I was begging, pleading, and trying to look pity for my ex-girlfriend just to make her stay. We had sex then goodbye. Then i saw your videos about No Contact Rules. Following your advice about no contact rules was hard as hell. My target is FULL 30 DAYS no contact but in my two weeks of battle. Suddenly she texted me, i try to ignore her, then she call me using other number so we talked since its likely rude to ignore her at all. She told me she wasn’t happy in her new bf. She felt sorry for me. She’s asking me if there was any chance to rebuild our relationship?Is she still welcome to my life? I told her i am awesome now, i currently dating to someone else the she get madly jealous. She doesn’t want me to date others.She really want to see me but ill be the one who refuse to see her. I told her i will only see you when you come back to me. She wanted me to stick around but u said to your videos not to get in friendzone.


I’m thinking of pulling away for that reason. The words of affirmation just aren’t there at all. And what’s more upsetting is he told me a story about how he expressed his feelings to his ex girlfriend almost instantly, really quickly into them meeting each other. They ended up breaking up because she was not as into him. So now I feel like I have to disappear just to see if he actually likes me.

My boyfriend and I have been arguing because I say things that he doesn’t like and I am in love with him and want to marry him he is the ONE, and I know and feel it, he feels the same and loves me as well and does see a future with my kids and I, I need to completely stop all the things that I say because I know that I am going to lose him and I don’t want to I’m scared to death that I am going to lose him, and have never been this scared to lose someone in my life, he’s such a good guy and he’s good to me and my kids, I have been completely depressed for a few days and I have been crying on a daily basis but he said that he feels he can’t talk to me anymore because I get mad at everything he says, how can I help him believe what I say and have him talk to me about things?? How can I turn things around for the better with us?? My biggest fear is losing him. I would do anything to turn things around for the better. He is still affectionate with me and tells me that he loves me everyday he is just being distant from me right now because of the things that I have said and if I could go back and change things I would in a heartbeat and from all of this going on I will never say anything like what I have again and I told him that but he doesn’t believe me and I told him that I want things to be as they were. I apologize for this being all over the place I have like I said been so depressed that I can’t even think straight, I haven’t eaten in 3 days as well. He has been so forgiving and patient with me and he is an amazing man I just don’t know what to do or say to him to help him believe that what I’m saying is real. I totally trust him I know that in my heart he would NEVER cheat on me it’s against his morals and he is a very honest and loyal man as well, I can’t and don’t want to screw this up with him, he is my world and couldn’t ask for more. He is my best friend, my soul mate, the love of my life, we are still together but I feel that he can’t be with me anymore because of the stuff that I have said. I’m torn into shreds right now and I want to prove to him that I can back up my word but I don’t know how to do that.
I got desperate yesterday and said i will change AGAIN, this time is gonna be different and blahblah. But i confessed about why i didn´t change in the relationship, i didn´t take his words seriously when he nearly broke up and that i know my faults, what i can work on and i know it was wrong that i grieved our past when i was with him, it´s not wrong to grieve, but it affected me so much that i got stuck in overthinking that instead of working on the relationship. He wrote to me today ” my feelings got a little less stronger each time you promised me change and i didn´t see any, i gave you so many chances just because i´ve never felt this way before and i really wanted to be with you, if i only saw A LITTLE change i know my feelings would be as strong as they´ve always been” So he wanted to be with me but he couldn´t stand to give any more chances.
I’ve been with my ex for 4 years. My first love and vice versa, and we intently spoke about marriage. We broke up a year and a half ago because I was too stubborn to listen to him. He told me I needed to open up more, to communicate better but being an introvert this was extremely difficult for me…so he left. I’ve been trying really hard since and got better at it.
In short, when you see that your crush or boyfriend is pulling away, you pull away too. Do not contact him. Concentrate on your own growth, reflect on what you’ve learned from the dynamics of the relationship and move forward with your personal goals. Be clear about your expectations and your needs. If they aren’t met, then move on and see if he’ll ever come around… Because if he doesn’t, I am sure someone else will!
So my ex broke up with me a week ago (we had only been dating for two months but apparently it was his longest relationship in awhile) and we’ve been in contact almost every day for the past week just talking as friends so that we don’t lose our snapchat streak (I know that’s a stupid reason to keep in contact with someone). He already drunk texted me saying that he made a mistake but when I confronted him about it the next day he remembered what he said just fine but said he couldn’t get back together because he “needed to work on himself first”. I feel awful starting the “4 week no contact rule” since we’ve been chatting for so long but I really want him back. What do I do?
Keep him on his toes a little to make him wonder where you stand sometimes. Asking him what he is doing every minute of every day and planning things to do without giving him the opportunity to say yes or no can be signs you are becoming clingy and falling too easily for him. As we all know, it should be a mutual chase between the man or the woman. If the balance is off, it becomes too easy for him to take you for granted.
I maintained my cool during this time, we text a bit and even had a bit of a flirt but I did text a few times with suggestions to meet up that got ignored. I finally decided i would just ask whether he was still interested but in a very casual way, but got my point across, he apologised saying he’d been manic at work and that his mum wasn’t too well, but that wasn’t an excuse for not being in touch and asked me how i was, what id been up to etc. I replied with a lighthearted message saying i understood. A week then passed and nothing, so i sent another one, a bit more pressing and saying if he was ‘still being useless then fine, but can he meet me for a drink this week’ if not the i guess it’s best to leave things, but either way let me know’ He didn’t read this message for a number of days, then by the 4th day i got angry and sent a message saying ‘ or you could completely ignore me’ he then messaged me back saying he was sorry and being useless wasn’t his intention and that he was working way the previous week and would have struggled to meet me for a drink and that he said ‘sorry to have messed me around’ and hoped my broken foot was better. I replied back with a very lighthearted message also apologising for my behavouir and ended it with some fun chit chat, didnt ask any questions and didn’t suggest meeting up.
The first thing that you need to do is simple, stop talking to them. You need to drop communication completely. You absolutely need to stop this overall. Many people feel the need to text them back, call them back, or just try to be in their sight. Don’t do that. You have to cut everything out. Walk away, stop talking, stop texting, and walk away from social media. When you talk to them after the break up, you’re going to end up causing them to think that you’re not quite as good as she once thought. You don’t want her to justify the reason why she walked away.
Im dating a man who is being very consistent with his communication and we see each other every weekend. He is always making plans with me and he reaches out to me all the time. The only issue is that I’m having a hard time feeling like he desires me the way a man should desire a woman. We hang out, we talk, we have so much fun together, we have sex but it feels more like a friend I’m having sex with than a romantic partner. Im physically and romantically attracted to him but I can’t help but wonder if there is a physical attraction issue on his part. He doesn’t seem “into” me like I’m used to. I’m a pretty woman but I know I don’t have those super pretty girl looks so I don’t know. Nonetheless, he isn’t pulling away per se, he just isn’t romantically present. I don’t hear anything sweet or flirty or sexy from him. When I do it to him, he just says thank you and tells me how much he enjoys hearing me say stuff like that. We have a lot in common and we have a great intellectual connection. He’s told his mom, dad and friends about me. But I’m worried because I feel like he doesn’t feel strongly about me in romantic way, even though he spends time with me, talks to me all the time, and admits that he has the most fun with me. It makes me sad because we both talk about how we are happy to have met someone like each other but I can’t help but wonder if having all these things in common and both of us being capable of loving each other the way we always wished someone would is somehow STILL not enough. It makes me very sad.
I was in a relationship with I guy where I pulled away because I fell in love with him and I needed time to process it. I didnt tell him how I felt. I still texted a little, maybe every second/third day just a bit over two weeks, but by the time I came back, he was moody, and started drifting a little from me. He then wanted time apart because he couldn’t deal with my emotional boundary I put up before. So I told him the issues I had and that I fell in love with him. So while we gave each other space, we missed each other. I was happy to see him when I cane back but he begged me to fall right back into the relationship too fast and it was all a very confusing mix of blaming and missing me and I found myself backing away again. Thats when I decided to stopped seeing him, even though I loved him.

Between one technique for getting back together and another, it’s hard to know which one is the most efficient. Should you try radio silence or the hand-written letter? Did the rendezvous that you had with your ex positively conclude your attempt at getting back together, or was it your work on fixing the issues that needed to be addressed what made things right again? Only the help of an experienced professional will help you figure out the best thing to do as quickly as possible.
I also want to know how to communicate with a man when he does something that we don't like..because I read that men doesn't like to have told what to do or what to not,then if he does something that I don't like,if I charge him for it then it will be accusing him and he may pull away eventually because it may show that I am needy but you tell me I am his girlfriend so I do have some rights,don't I? so,how come telling my needs make me needy? My head just blows away to figure out the balance..sorry for the long post,but I loved your article and hope that you'll make some time to reply...thank you😊
i successfully completed my no contact rule.after that i sent my first text.he was so excited to respond and he was responding like crazy.i tried to end up the conversation many times bt he was keeping on texting.atlast i managed to say goodnight by saying i was sleepy.as chris told i decided to put a gap for 3 days after first text.bt the very next day of first text itself he texted me asking something.should i reply or do i have to wait for the completion of third day?
I recently stumbled across your podcasts and blogs. My boyfriend recently broke up with me about 4 days ago. We had been long distance for 2 and a half years, just went on our first vacation together, and had already gone through some really difficult times with family issues. We were always there for each other, really good at communicating, being honest, making trips to see each other, and times to call and/or FaceTime. The past few months we had some issues, all small minor things, that seemed to be fixed and okay, but he said that the past few months made him unsure about closing the distance, the future, and just made him want to focus on himself. Even though we mutually called this a “break” we’re going through it like a normal break up. He said he didn’t want things to end horribly and wanted to be friends, and although he’s not sure if time and growth and fix the issues he’s not ruling out the possibility of us getting back together. I agreed and said that I do believe time, space ,growth and self reflection can really help focus on what to do differently, if we were to try us out again, and may fix the issues. Even with me saying that he agreed. We both shared such a special connection, and because of the family problems that happened, spending holidays together and going to each other’s college graduations, I do believe he just needs time to himself. His sister even told me she strongly believes he will come back and so many people have as well. The last text sent was me telling him I needed time before I could even talk to him, and it may take a while. He said he understands that and I understand he does not wan to be in a relationship at this moment and for a while. Even though it hurts, there’s something in my gut that keeps telling me that although I love him enough to let him go and figure himself out, he will come back. I don’t know when but I believe it. I’ve already started reflecting in a journal and writing down what I would work on in the future to make the relationship stronger and better. I really want him to come back, and I believe he will even though I know I have to tell myself that maybe he won’t. There’s already been so many signs I’ve been seeing that correlate with him and his interests that are telling me we’ll be okay. I’m not angry, and there’s no hatred towards him which is also weird. I’m glad he was honest with me now instead of further down the line like if we were visiting each other or something. I’ve been reading everything and I’ve started the no contact rule and although I heard he deleted pictures from our recent vacation he’s also been distant with things. I know this is a good time for self reflection on both individuals. I would love to try us again sometime and I do believe we could make it work.
When you take a relationship that is brand new and start thinking that it’s something, or forcing it to be more than it is, it’s game over. Your vibe will become man repelling and before long, he’ll be gone and you will be left baffled, analyzing what exactly you did to drive him away. But you won’t ever find the answer, because it isn’t concrete and measurable.
Guys don’t know exactly what it is, but suddenly their instincts are telling them to get away. This usually occurs at the point where the woman could no longer keep the act up. Maybe she’s trying to appear cool and go-with-the-flow, but in her mind she’s already thinking of ways to turn a relationship that’s really nothing at this point into something. From that point forward, it’s not easygoing and natural, it’s her measuring if she is getting closer or further from her goal.

Throughout our courtship, I was utterly under the control of my ex-girlfriend. I let her walk all over me. She would call me at 4 A.M. and only stop calling when I answered. Being in college, I decided to drive down south where she lived to see if our relationship could work. I asked Mary to wait for me while I figured it out. She didn’t want to. Obviously.
8 yrs and 2 kids and after every fight we have had he leaves and stays away for days to weeks.just 2 in a half weeks from today we fought and I know wat was that started the fight.i caught myself too fucking late he started changing I watched as he changed on me from 1 caring and loving he's trying bf to the imposter with the IDGAF and thinks u lying every time he asks u something attitude towards me.i was only supposed to get dropped of at the store and come back home with soda anyhow my son in laws friend was going that way and asked if I wanted a lift & that he going that way so I sedd yes my bf heard the whole conversation because he sitting beside me.he just shrugged his head and told me to hurry back ND I left with my son in laws friend ,I was wanting to go my sister's place to see her check up on her from time to time just in case she need anything. So he told me he had some business to handle not far from my sister's place and if I like he would take me to my sisters and go handle his shit it was going be fast kine he sedd so I told him shoots ND we did wat was planned take me to sisters ND he went handle his shit and wasn't fast kine either homie took almost 3 hrs before he pulling up my cup soda empty so I knew I was fucked late af for 1 and another 1 no soda and I got dropped off from the same guy I left with earlier.i went home and he sedd so wea the soda I told him sorry baby no moa me my sister and nephews drank it while waiting for my ride for pick me up.and he gave me 1 look das all I took was da look I seen um he attitude towards me change went from caring loving bf to 1 imposter with IDGAF and I lying Everytime he asks me anything attitude.after witnessing that I caught myself my actions that wasn't intentionally done to hurt him in anyway which it did hurt him I couldn't reach him he to far gone so we fought because of his macho attitude to me.and we had words with each other and like all the rest of our fights wat does he do LEAVE GRABS HIS BACKPACK N HES GONE,in that bag has everything he owns in it.he takes that bag every where with him.and he stays away no call absolutely no CONTACT with me and his children we have together I know wea he's at and all but that's besides the point u have a family at home waiting for you ND hes up at his comfort zone ain't losing sleep over his family at all.he acts as if he no moa a gf and 2 kids ND 1 house to go to.and instead staying in front of his friends property on the side of the road in his car that's wea my bf staying in his car at his friends house ND property.i always is the 1 to go to him and reconcile with him to come home then he'll come back home ND life goes on till the next fight we have he going stay away for 1 month now or longer I'm scared I really tried to keep in touch with him to apologize to him letting him know that I see my wrong and I'm owning up to it. I even wrote him a letter telling him sorry for my actions and how much I love missing him so much and how much his boys misses him to asks for him everyday and it's ok to come home so we can talk and left on his window wipers on his car.i know he got the letter from me.wat he does he ignores all my efforts of keeping in touch with him no response,he didn't even show up for our son's bday so sad that went hurt my heart.leaving me in 1 fucked and fucked up situation at the sametime tryna keep my shit together because of my children and keeping our the only thing we good rn which is our house that doesn't feel like home because now it's going onto 3 weeks in the matter of days now and he's still never come call nothing no contact at all.im scared and idk wat to do any more but I not giving up even though so badly I like just say fuck it and give up on him ND us.but I keep on fighting for him.by going to him almost like I chasing him.the moment I feel awkward I take off and I come back again another time till he wants to come home.idk why and I like to know why and how does he not worry about his family and not wanna check up on them.idk wat to do ND I not giving up but I out of options on approaching him on if he still wants me to be apart of his life I mean wtf please tell me something anything or u done 8yrs 2 kids how can u give up all dis and deahs no lady involve.he just chooses to stay away and I like know why I'm scared to go find out emotionally I not ready.plz help me I need some advice on wat kind of actions to take in my situation ND ur opinion on my problem with my bf having no contact with me N kids and chooses to stay away no contact.thank you
I want you to imagine something for a moment. Lets say that you and your ex girlfriend are texting pretty frequently. The two of you are responding at a pretty good clip (meaning both of you are responding to one another.) I think in this case when she has already proven that she is responding to you in a frequent manner you don’t have to pay as much attention to neutral responses if they are in the middle of a texting conversation.
Forgive each other. This can be the hardest part of mending a relationship, but also the most crucial. Forgiveness releases pent up anger, pain, and emotions so that they don’t come back later in life, sabotaging all the progress you’ve made. Remember that no one is perfect, and without forgiveness, there wouldn't be a single working relationship on the planet.[6]
This part of the message serves as the test for your ex girlfriend. She can either accept your invitation to talk on the phone or decline it. If she accepts it then you can run around your house like a crazy man full of excitement. If she declines it don’t take it personally. She may be busy at that particular moment or you may not have built up enough attraction yet. It just means you have a little more work to do.

My bf broke with me on the 25/11/2017. he said that “The light of our relationship is dying” then we broke up. we dated before but he dumped me first then he actually fell in love with me, then broke with me after one month (he broke up with me right after my birthday which it’s on the 24th of November) we haven’t texted each other for about four months, but he’s still following me on apps. i really, REALLY love him. i also so hurt myself a lot during that time. i don’t know how to get him back. I’m crazy about him. We also made a promise a long time ago about getting married. We always talked about having children and what to name them. i just don’t know why he walked away from me

One thing is for sure; the “classic techniques” for getting back together with your ex will bear fruit sooner than later. Using complimentary actions alone (such as using texts messages to get your ex back) are less sure-fire. These actions need to be combined with something like a handwritten letter for example. This way you can insist on an important point or they can come after the crucial point in getting back together: when you meet up with you ex.
This is the power of jealousy. Now, I am NOT recommending that you go out and date someone new. I am recommending that you drop certain hints in your communication with your ex boyfriend that you are out meeting new people. The key to this is that YOU CAN’T BE OBVIOUS. Do you think you will get very far if you rub the fact that you are out and about with other guys? The answer is no. There is a subtle art to incorporating jealousy texts into your conversations and I am going to teach you that art.
I love your articles. Appreciate to help and advice my situation. I’m in relation with my boyfriends for 3 months. He’s start to talk about the future and marriage since our 3rd date. He was send me fill text everyday it’s made my heart fell full and in love with him so much and we start to have sex after 4th date. But since last months I few something changed after I asked him about the series relation between us, he’s send me a less of text, didn’t keep the date schedule. When I talked about get marriage he said we just know each other a few months. Now I’m move to other country and so worry about the long distance relation with him. He’s promised me will waiting to me and will come to visit me on Jan. But right now I got only one message from him a day someday it’s no text from him. I love him so much. How should I get him back.
Hi Ray! Thank you very much for the male perspective. I am dating a man who is 11 years older, I’m 26 and he is 37. He works out in the ocean and a lot of times we have minimal conversation via text/call. But when we are together everything is great and we get along very well. When he doesn’t have to wake in the wee ours or work out of town, he is with me every single weekend. We have been together six months and I have met all his close friends and friends kids. I have done well so far in respecting his space. When he’s a weekend with his guy friends, I am understanding and just ask him to contact me once when he is back in town so he feels he is not missing out on what he loves. However, this past weekend he had a sailboat race on the weekend which he let me know in advance and we had plans for friday night. He reached out friday night saying that turns out he had to be at the venue in the wee hours so he would not be able to make our plans. I was emotionally unstable that weekend due to some work stress and family leaving so I needed him the most that friday. I did not think of my actions and instead of politely rescheduling for Monday, I blew him up – sent him various texts showing how I did not appreciate he canceled although it wasn’t his fault. I called numerous times in the weekend and texted many times while he was supposed to have time with his friends in the tournament. On Sunday I was so desperate that I passed by his house. His roomate was there and told me he hand’t come home yet. Since I blew him up friday, I have had no response to any of my texts nor has he answered any of my calls. I am very afraid that I scared him away and threatened his freedom. I also came out as desperate for going to his place. Today is Wednesday and I hadn’t reached out till Sunday. I sent him a very short/casual text apologizing for taking out my stress on him and for not letting him have his space, to which I got no response. I am going to wait a few days and hopefully he will come around, as our relationship has matured and he’s told me how much he cares for me. Did I blow this up completely since it has been 4 days with no response?
I say that because we’ve been together for three years. I just feel like he would’ve figured out sooner than later if I was what he wanted in a girlfriend. Our relationship is/was so great. We talked everyday, some days less than others but at the beginning and end of the day we always made contact. We hung out mostly 4out of 7 days a week. We’ve always made enough time for eachother, and what we want to do ourselves. We hardly ever fought. Of course we’ve had our few disputes, but nothing we couldn’t work through.
Español: recuperar a tu ex novio, Português: Reconquistar o seu Ex Namorado, Français: récupérer son ex petit‐ami, Italiano: Riconquistare un Ex, Deutsch: Den Exfreund zurückbekommen, Русский: вернуть бывшего парня, 中文: 让你的前男友回来, Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Kembali Mantan Pacar Anda, Nederlands: Je ex vriendje weer terugkrijgen, العربية: استعادة حبيبك السابق, हिन्दी: अपने एक्स बॉयफ़्रेंड को वापस पाएँ, ไทย: กลับไปคืนดีกับแฟนหนุ่มคนเก่าของคุณ, Tiếng Việt: Khiến bạn trai cũ quay lại với bạn, 한국어: 헤어진 남자친구, 다시 잡는 법, 日本語: 元彼氏を取り戻す
Generally, it’s usually as simple as him needing space. Marriages can be extremely fulfilling in their unity, but at times being around one another too often can feel repetitive and can get stale. Always try to do new things and give each other space when needed. Don’t think the worst is happening just yet. Relationships, especially marriages, always have their ups and downs.
One day I went to a boys house. He had come from Florida and it was a meet up. Lasting for 25 minutes, no longer. We were sitting on separate couches and he was playing a video game. Out of no where he kissed me and I pushed him off and left his house. His friend was outside and I just walked out and left. I volunteer at a nursing home and over the summer their was another volunteer working their as well. We went to IHOP together but as co workers. We even payed for our own food. When we were done eating he went his way because his aunt was going to pick him up and I went my way. We watched Planes 2, his cousins wanted to see the movie and I paid for my own ticket while he bought for him and his cousins. We waited and I told him to call, his cousins said no so what were we supposed to do with 5 tickets? We watched the movie. I sat in the last row because I like to sit in the back and he sat in the middle. When it finished he went his way and I went mine. I normally leave the nursing home at 5-6. I had to leave early one day and we sat in the park and talked as usual about the nursing home. Things like how long we worked their or what old people we were close to. My boyfriends friend saw us but nothing was happening. He walked his way because again, his aunt was picking him up and I took my bus home. After those times I haven’t seen or talked to either of them. My boyfriend has screenshots and I told him I was loyal and nothing had happened. I only took long to tell him. How do I prove something that I did not do? Please help us, 
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