I have a very good feeling that if we can get to a point where we can talk openly and he isn't feeling pressured to get back together, we will have an excellent chance to make it work. I want to work to make big changes to make our sex life better and I know if I can show this to him, he will definitely want to reconsider. He is also young like me and very impulsive. We had a great relationship other than this issue.

Appreciate that some guys just don't communicate a lot, the same as some women don't. Think about the qualities that you want from a man and question whether this person matches up to what you are looking for. Do not settle for less and do not ever let it make you feel that you are not good enough. If he has asked you to go over, then it may be that he has just been busy and there is nothing more to it. Trust how you feel about it and make your decision from there.


Exactly Why Guys Start Acting Distant All Of A Sudden (And What To Do About It) Why Men Pull Away: 3 Easy Ways To Stop A Man From Withdrawing: Infographic The Real Reasons Men Pull Away When They Are Falling In Love How To Tell If He’s Testing You By Pulling Away From You Why Men Pull Away In The Early Stages: How To Get Your New Guy Back The Real Reasons Why Men Pull Away After Getting Close
My husband left me 6 months ago. He is dating some other girl. He’s been lying the whole time abor seeing someone. I finally got fed up and told him I want to divorce as that is absolutely crossing my boundary. I am hoping that this lights some fire under him as he has been telling me he doesn’t know what he wants for the past 6 months but thays because hes been seeing this girl. How do we make this work?
Throughout our courtship, I was utterly under the control of my ex-girlfriend. I let her walk all over me. She would call me at 4 A.M. and only stop calling when I answered. Being in college, I decided to drive down south where she lived to see if our relationship could work. I asked Mary to wait for me while I figured it out. She didn’t want to. Obviously.

It can feel like you’re a contestant in the Miss America Pageant when you first start dating a guy. You think things are going well, but with dating app FOMO being a real thing — you know: the fact that a guy has at his fingertips an unlimited number of women to choose from, even if they wouldn’t choose him — you feel the need to step up your game so that you take first place in his heart and mind.
“Can you tell me why men pull away?” This is one of the most common questions I hear in my coaching sessions. So why do they pull away? In this article, I am going to walk you through different scenarios that can shed light on why this may be happening to you and give you a different perspective to reflect on and make this stop once and for all. This is a common trend in today’s society, and if you have landed on this article, I know that you have probably been directly affected by it or are afraid of experiencing this with someone you’re interested in.
“Men are so used to being pursued when they’re trying to gain perspective that he’s going to be shocked you’re giving him the space he wants. He’ll realize that you’re different from most other women he’s dated, in a good way” – Good doesn’t begin to cover it. I would be ecstatic and incredulous that my partner is actually willing to let me do what I need to do to be myself, with no ulterior motive.

Wow! What a fantastic article! As I was reading through it, I was mentally ticking which of the qualities I already possess or things I’m already doing that are being mentioned in the article. I am very happy to say that in my current relationship, I’m either already doing all 4 things or one of them, I had already thought of doing that yesterday but have to wait until at least tonight to put it into motion. It’s only been 6 months and those have been fraught with obstacles, but so far, we seem to have survived all of them and I’m positive that we will survive the latest devastating thing that has come up just recently.


Reason #4. If you really managed to get back together right now, do you think your relationship would last? It is very unlikely. Neither of you would have changed your behaviors and bad habits. You will just repeat past mistakes. You might be able to force yourself to behave differently for a few weeks but then when things settle down, you go back to your old habits. Then you break up and you will then need to start the grieving process all over.
Making your man commit can take time and effort. You want to send him signals that you are ready to take the relationship further but at the same time don’t want to overdo it so it becomes an obsession or pressurizing. Don’t let the relationship become boring, keep an element on fun and excitement in it by doing something new together, going on nights out or trying something new in the bedroom.
Thank you so much for the advice. I ended up sending a text two days ago just to check on him (nothing emotional) but I know I shouldn't have. He then last night blocked me on Instagram and deleted most of our pics. I think that is a nice way of saying leave me the heck alone until I am ready. Just very shocked after 4 years. But I will hold strong. Hopefully things will work out for the best.
It's been a week since me and my ex girlfriend broke up. We had time issues. We used to call/text and all of the sudden, she rarely reply my texts and chats. If ever I receive reply from her, it's just a single reply and I felt that she's cold. She said she's busy and tired. We argued because I said that that I want her time as well. I asked time because I miss her. Then she broke up with me. Her reason is I don't give her time to spend with her friends and she's tired of me for not trusting her.
we had no contact for about 2-3 months and since it's approaching his birthday again this year, i contacted him through our mutual friend to do a catch up. we agreed to hang out, him, our mutual friend and me, the 2 of us for the weekend. an afternoon around the city, for a swim/hike, dinner and drinks at the club and lunch the next day before i head back home.
I'm a bit nervous about how to approach this, I know I have to be light, to look like I'm making changes (which I am), to look positive and happy even though I'm not always like that. But there is a part of me that really wants to be serious and tell her to bet for me, not to take me back (I know I don't have to be pushy at all) but to allow me to show her how I'm overcoming things? Is it a bad idea to be a bit intense with a person which I had a lot of intense talks? I want to tell her my true intentions, that I do want her back, but that I'm willing to wait and for her to see that I have changed...I guess my question is, it is ok to voice the real itnentions in this manner? To even say, look in this time alone I did realize I do trully love you, and that it is not coming from a place of fear?
First, let him know that you want a relationship. Talk to him about what that means to you and that it includes a “commitment” to something more than a friendship. Ask him how he feels and if he has considered it. Let him know that a relationship is important to you and that you don’t want to waste time with someone who does not want the same thing.
Stop replying her at this point, and go back into NC. She is dating someone new right now, as well as living in a different city from you. Harping on things won't change the situation so instead, go back into NC (properly this time), and learn to accept the breakup, stabilize your emotional state, and make positive changes in your life. Only when all this is done should you consider reaching out again and may stand a better chance at winning her back.
In short, when you see that your crush or boyfriend is pulling away, you pull away too. Do not contact him. Concentrate on your own growth, reflect on what you’ve learned from the dynamics of the relationship and move forward with your personal goals. Be clear about your expectations and your needs. If they aren’t met, then move on and see if he’ll ever come around… Because if he doesn’t, I am sure someone else will!
However, if your ideal lifestyle includes a partner and you’re still dating, it’s important to be upfront about who you are and what’s important to you in a relationship. Don’t hide your success.  A life partner needs to be able to accept you as a career professional and be comfortable with your potential role as family breadwinner (if that’s who you are – or are likely to become). Conversely, you also need to accept your partner’s earning capacity in terms of your relationship and more.
Me and my boyfriend went on a break last Monday (17th). Since then he text me on the Tuesday(18th) asking if I was okay. I text him every day since that tuesday to see how he was. On Tuesday this week he text me saying he had made his decision, and that he couldn't do it anymore. After he text me this we met up and he broke up with me. I text him yesterday morning to check he slept okay. I read this article last night and started my no contact then. Now today as I haven't text him, he has text me. Advice?

Today I asked if I could call him to ask him about a few things I know he knows much about and likes. . He said yes and I called. He was a bit on edge at first but then we talked like we did before breakup and he was talking about some improvements he had done in his apartment and that he's waiting to get accepted to school etc. it was a nice talk, after a while asked him if I could come over some day to pick up my last stuff at his apartment and that's when it escalated. He got upset, wondering why I hadn't said something about those stuff before and why I was asking for them now and if I wanted my things I could pick them up outside his door when he's not at home. I tried to calm him down, and we agreed that he would contact me when I could come and get the things. The call didn't end... well according to plan. What should I do? I have also asked him twice before in texts if we could catch up for a coffee at some point,: He has been positive and said "well I'm busy today but maybe another day" or "I'm busy right now but another time? let's talk about later."
Hi. My ex bf broke up with. Me about 6 weeks ago after about 4 yrs. We had a colse emotional and physical connerction, at least i felt so, and our relaionship was gettind great the last 4 month and we had a plan to marry. But suddnly he said that he can't do it anymore, he said he had cheated on me several times with meaningless sex bcz he wasn't satisfied with our sex, he said i could never accept him and kept arguing with him frequently(i agree i was so insecure) and he said he became who i wanted but didn't. Give him what he wanted so he wasn't happy and he was always stressful. Siad his good behavior recently was because he didn't want to upset me and was fake- which i dont believe. He says he loves me but love is not enough and he behaved me really nice when i was acting crazy till now. I do regret my behavior and i want him back. I wish he doesnt give up hope for me.
Similar situation, Charlotte. I’ve been going through some rough anxiety and depression and have been moody a lot and he decided it is not right for him. We had planned a life together. We were so sure we were meant for each other. I am trying so hard to get back to myself with a change of medication. It’s difficult because we do work together. I’m devastated and lost.
We human beings have a built in radar.  We pick up on body language and we also use our intuition.  We all have it…men and women.  In this case, these women are simply picking up on his lack of authenticity.  He’s not truly being himself.  He’s approaching these women from an energy of “what can I get away with?”  And these women intuitively know it.  We would typically call a guy like this a “player” however, another way to look at it is that he is not behaving in alignment with who he is inside and, what he is really wanting is an activity partner because it is safe.  He doesn’t want a relationship simply because he is not yet ready to let some of his walls down.
You might want to consider personal coaching with me if you require a specific game plan on winning him back, otherwise, go through no contact as read and apply positive changes to your life while getting yourself to an emotional state where you're okay with whatever happens. The only way you win him back is by making those changes in your life and figuring out what went wrong in the relationship that made him feel that he couldn't be himself and the reason he might have lost the spark for you which further reinforced his decision. Also, no more pleading and begging for him back.

Hello! So I've given her (and myself) a bit short of a month of space/no contact after a dreadful first week of the "desperation phase" as I call it. And now, I've tried messaging her again and thankfully she still replies. But I think my mistake is that I brought up what went wrong (it was never perfectly clear why we broke up) after a few days of casual conversation (in which she talks coldly towards me, btw). She also clearly stated she doesn't like talking to me anymore AND she hates me now. What do I do?
Some arguing is normal in a relationship. You may go through phases of fighting due to outside factors, which is also normal. The important thing is how you argue, how you deal with arguments after, how you heal together, and the way you communicate. The best way to avoid a fight getting out of control is to walk out of the room and not escalate the situation.

It could be a rebound relationship he's going through right now, which is also the reason he might have felt it was 'love at first sight'. In the case for marriages, especially long term relationships, NC period might have to be longer because of the time frame of the relationship and the severity of events that probably transpired which led to the breakup/divorce in the first place.
I was in 2 years long relationship with my ex, including one year of long distance. He broke up with me 3 months ago saying he is not ready for commitment and settle in one year because it was supposed to be one year longer the long distance relationship. We had some fights lately, due to lack of contact it was hard to catch him, I wasnt my best too I was picking on him sometimes when it was no needed. I tried to win him back but he didnt want to. We dont speak for over a month now and soon will be my birthday. I find out on social media that he is licking some girls face and that they are cooking together. What should I do? Can I still win him back? I know what mistakes I made and I was in process of chagning myself but I dont know if should I reach to him? What was the actual reason, he said he is not ready but he is clearly making connection with this girl.

Spending Saturday morning in the soup kitchen or helping an elderly person carry his groceries may be all it takes to have him calling you girlfriend. In a recent British study, people rated potential sexual partners to be more attractive for a long-term relationship if they had altruistic qualities. "Giving back to others shows your good heart and integrity, and although they may not consciously think that far in the future, men are subconsciously assessing maternal traits in a woman to see what kind of mother she'd be," Kelman says.
My boyfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me. I'm having a hard time dealing with it and I think I'm afraid move on without him. He left 2 months ago for work and started acting different and distant through text. I would always reassure him and let him know that I would stay and wait for him to come back, but he still broke up with me. I still love him and I don't want it to be over.
So since the last meet up at his apartment. I left him alone. 6 days after not reaching out to him and trying to do the NC. He texts me late at night while I’m out with friends saying he misses me and if I could come over. I was dumb and called him an hour after I received the text and ask him why he wanted me over and if he was drunk. He said no that he had honestly just woken up and that he didn’t realize how late it was that he missed me and if I could come. I asked for what and he said to talk. I got my hopes up thinking he was gonna give me answer to thinking about us and giving us a chance. I further asked him what he wanted to talk about and then he became vague. Then I felt like it was just a late night booty call and told him that I wasn’t that type of girl and to not treat me as one. He then continued to ask if I would come over that we could talk but never said what about. He then was like forget it’s a bad idea and maybe we could tomorrow instead. I told him I was busy tomorrow but I’ll see. Tomorrow came and by the evening I texted him like an idiot I feel if he still wanted to talk and he was like it’s not a good idea, I’m sorry. I replied with I guess we know why you really texted last night and he stop replying after that. What do I do now? I want him but then again now I feel like I shouldn’t
As a couple, you may be with each other for a year or three years and when you look back, your best memories are of you both together. The realisation that you have had some of the best times together is a great one. Sawnani says, “It’s a very strange and nice feeling when you realise that even though the quantum of time spent with someone maybe lesser than the time spent with family or others, the contentment is a lot more. We all know that sometimes an hour feels like a minute and sometimes like a whole day... It is when the togetherness moments start becoming important that you take the relationship to the next level.” 6 You visit his house, meet the family When the guy invites you over to his place, it’s a huge milestone. He could also agree to come to your place to meet your family. Inviting you over means he wants to let you into his world and meet his folks. Shah explains, “Meeting your family shows he is serious about you. When he invites you over, he wants his family to see you and expects you to bond with his family. He is making you aware of his home life, traditions, culture, family environment and habits. In short, he is giving you a microscopic view of his own life, his beliefs of family structures and wants to know what you feel about it.”
He would definitely like the 'new' you because he gets to have sex with you but doesn't have to deal with the emotional aspect that would follow from a typical relationship, and you would also end up becoming a safe zone to run to whenever he has issues with his current girlfriend. Keep in mind that this 'new' you isn't a permanent one, and I would strongly recommend not lowering your standards anymore by simply giving him whatever he wants and being emotionally there for him all the time while he is still with someone else and can't fully commit back to you.
I dated my ex for 4 years. We studied in the same campus and moved together to another campus to pursue our studies. The moment we came into our new campus, my ex's behaviour changed. He told me he wants to break up. A week later I found that he was with another girl from the same campus and I did nothing but just left it. A month later he came telling me that he wanted me back and I said ok, we got back together. I even asked him the reason behind his break up with the other girl and he told me that the girl isn't sincere and honest to him as I were to him. She even tried cheating on him. Months later again, he came telling me that he was confuse about our relationship and so on. We broke up again and he went back to the same girl again. Every time I confronted him about this issue, the only thing he tells me is that his feelings towards me changed and he wanted me to move on. It's been 2 months now since he is with the other girl now. Last week when I saw him, he cried to me saying that he loves me still but his feelings of being together with me was not there anymore instead it was there for the other girl. He told me to move on and no to wait for him. He said he wants to be with the other girl now. I asked him why does he want that girl so badly when she wasn't good enough and sincere to him and he replied me that the girl changed now. She is much open and honest to me now about everything that is happening in her life. All I could reply to him was Goodluck. His current girlfriend told him to block me in Whatsapp and he did but he still keeps me in his Facebook and Instagram. I'm confused by his actions. Can you help?

I want to start off by saying thank you for adding a guys input Eric! My question is how do know if your inspiring him to be his best self and inspire him in his lifes mission if you dont know what that is? The guy im kind of seeing has only initiated deep conversation once and it was to ask what i thought about us. Am i supposed to ask him out right or am i supposed to try and figure it out all on my own?
My boyfriend and i were dating for more than a year and we are still young, we had always had fights and argue a lot and thats why he cheated on me, but we got back together because i decided to give him another chance. after our 1 year anniversary he broke up with me and said "us being together would make you more stressed and we should end it" after that i have been so needy and desperate and he has pushed me away futher, but i know that what we had before our relationship was great, and he truly loved me and gave everything to me. but i know before we dated he was the playboy type to talk to anyone and try to get in with anyone, and i can kind of see it happening now but he says he wont move on, but he clearly started we will never ever be together again, even in the future. what should i do?
If your man is acting distant and you want him to come back to you, chasing after him plain won’t work. The best thing to do is to give him the space he’s looking for so that he can solve whatever’s bothering him and get back to normal. If you chase him it only pushes him further away, instead give him the space he needs and he’ll feel your absence as soon as he solves his problem and will want to come running back to you.
Most of us know that men are visual: you are wired that way. My best relationship advice for you is not to be so distracted by looks that you ignore the “character” of your partner (or potential partner.) By character I mean whether the person is kind, considerate, compassionate and loving – and not just when he or she wants something! Is their communication gentle or harsh? How do they ask for what they want? Is it a request or is it a demand?
If you truly believe that your ex should be in your life, then you need to start focusing on the life that you have to offer. You need to love yourself with such ferocity that anybody else’s love is just the cream on the pie. You are your own pie. Once you start thinking of yourself like that, the people around you will notice and he will start to miss you.
There’s no trickery needed in making him miss you. It’s a matter of sometimes curbing your enthusiasm about how excited you are to be dating him, and finding ways to assert your independence. Having autonomy, we’ve learned, not only shows him that you’re not a clinging wallflower but that you’re confident and capable of enjoying yourself without being glued to his side.
There is no point in playing games, to make this work just simply forget about it and you will soon see a difference whether will be in a few weeks or a few months. Everyone is different and every relationship is different and sometime the best thing to do is to forget about making him commit and let it happen naturally. I have every confidence technique will work.
I recently visited home. We met up with each other, talked, laughed, cried, slept together, agreed we still have a deep intimate connection, & we want to be together. However, he is still with the girl he has been dating for months. He does not love her and is afraid to end a good thing and take a chance with me, even though he knows that we can make this work and be better than before. I am moving back home in a few months, not for him, for me. All of my family and friends of the last 40 years are at home. What am I supposed to do? We love each other, want to be together, and eventually we'll be living in the same town again. But he's with her, this is my worst nightmare
“Hi! I’ve been a fan of your work for over five years now. When I broke up with my ex, I was devastated. Then I read a lot of your stuff about getting your ex back. It changed my thinking and my thinking changed my life. I worked on myself. I started doing makeup, became a makeup artist, launched my makeup line, and have started to get recognition. I feel so good about myself now and I have no regrets. Now my ex wants me back but I realized I don’t want to go back because I’m moving forward. Thanks for everything you’ve shared and written.”
The common thread that underlies these seven deadly sins is neediness. Neediness is the state of mind that encourages all the above actions. Believing that your ex is the source of your happiness, sense of well-being and/or self-esteem, is the type of thinking that will have you groveling and begging for your ex. Neediness is a state of mind more than a set of behaviors, it just manifests itself in certain actions. It’s a feeling that says: “I need you to respond to me in a certain way in order to feel OK.” (Make sure to read this article for more on neediness and how to prevent it.)
Many articles on how to get a man to commit tell you to make him laugh, and do fun stuff with him. If you think your man is funny, laugh. If he has achievements, great or small, congratulate him. The phrase that says encouragement sweetens labor can be edequately applied to relationships. Show him that you appreciate his sense of humor, and he will not only feel as the center of attention, but the center of your world; ensure that he always know that you appreciate him. That is one of the ways how to make a man commit and create an unbreakable bond with you. You will become his number one girl, and you showing appreciation and genuine interest in him is what makes him want to commit.
Long distance relationship, We dead-loved each other for one year and then I broke up. She left immediately and I missed her for two weeks and texted back. Three months I didnt care, She kept texting and called. slowly she came up with this breakup thing. All of a sudden she declared breakup and I couldnt digest it. I begged her for 2 weeks. Will she get back? How long should I wait?
I was with my bf for 4 months. A long distance relationship. He told me Xmas weekend that he had fallen in love with me. We have a huge communication barrier though. So recently it was getting to me and I went home upset.he knew that I was upset he said he’s sorry he is not capable of making me happy and he still is in love with me and is bummed but he doesn’t think we may be a match. I believe he is genuinely upset. Maybe the distance was taking its toll. I didn’t want it to end but now it has and I spoke to him on phone and wanted him to change his mind. I still have some things at his house. It now has been 2 days since I spoke with him. I intend to not contact him..in hopes that he will miss me. I mean, if you are in love as he claimed 3 weeks ago I would think not talking to me for more then 3 days will get to him. I also told him I would come get my things tomorrow but I have now chosen to skip that and make him wonder what I’m doing. I will go get my things in a week or 2. I’m sad cuz I love him too. Any suggestions/opinions would be appreciated!!
Is there another possible explanation for what seems like hot and cold behavior? Yes! If it’s not something new going on in his life that’s changed his routine, it could be about your relationship. It’s possible his feelings are dwindling, but it’s also possible he’s just settling into a more natural routine now that he feels the relationship is more settled.
Under the normal circumstances, one month would be the advisable time to wait before contacting your ex again. I would suggest trying for the same period and using this time to focus on loving yourself right now, especially with the pregnancy on its way. However, given the current circumstances and if one month is too long, at least wait 2-3 weeks to see if he comes around eventually.
Today I asked if I could call him to ask him about a few things I know he knows much about and likes. . He said yes and I called. He was a bit on edge at first but then we talked like we did before breakup and he was talking about some improvements he had done in his apartment and that he's waiting to get accepted to school etc. it was a nice talk, after a while asked him if I could come over some day to pick up my last stuff at his apartment and that's when it escalated. He got upset, wondering why I hadn't said something about those stuff before and why I was asking for them now and if I wanted my things I could pick them up outside his door when he's not at home. I tried to calm him down, and we agreed that he would contact me when I could come and get the things. The call didn't end... well according to plan. What should I do? I have also asked him twice before in texts if we could catch up for a coffee at some point,: He has been positive and said "well I'm busy today but maybe another day" or "I'm busy right now but another time? let's talk about later."
"It's a turnoff for me when a girl pretends to like something just because I like it. 'You like the Knicks? Weird, I love the Knicks! Who's that tall one again? Who are you and what are your interests? If we disagree about stuff, let's have fun disagreeing about it and if any of it winds up being too important, then, well, it won't work out and that's fine." Miles P.

This is the power of jealousy. Now, I am NOT recommending that you go out and date someone new. I am recommending that you drop certain hints in your communication with your ex boyfriend that you are out meeting new people. The key to this is that YOU CAN’T BE OBVIOUS. Do you think you will get very far if you rub the fact that you are out and about with other guys? The answer is no. There is a subtle art to incorporating jealousy texts into your conversations and I am going to teach you that art.
A while back I was dating someone and it always seemed that we would fight over the silliest things. Now, I like to think that I am generally a calm person but for whatever reason my girlfriend and I would always fight. So, I went to the most trusted of friends for advice, my dad. He explained to me that a relationship is like a bank account. Every time you have a good experience or something of that nature you are putting money into the account. However, every time you have an argument or a fight you are taking money out of the account. The key thing here is to have more green deposits than red withdrawals in your relationship bank account.
I’m going through this exact thing. It’s heartbreaking. I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months now. He told me a while ago that he had fallen for me. I told him I felt the same. The last few weeks have been really hard. With either really short texts or no reply at all. He’s been busy with work. I know this is true. I get that he can’t answer every text straight away. I also understand he has a life of his own. We’ve barely said about 5 sentences to each other over the last few days. It’s taken a lot for me to start this relationship. After being single for about 11 years. I don’t want to end up in the exact same place as I was a few months ago.

Forgot to add, we plan to see each other before the year ends. So around November, Part of me is like ok, dont talk until End of September and ease back in Oct/Nov until you guys see each other again. What this article said about friends and family is so true! I have nothing negative to say about my bf. They feel just because he broke up with me that he is supposed to me the enemy. "Forget him!" "Men are stupid" "Thats his loss, he couldnt man up!" "You deserve better" I hold no hate, only hurt & I accept my part in our demise. It literally made everything worse because i do not feel that way.

It’s tough for someone to nail down to source of feeling not OK, but they unconsciously latch onto things that will get rid of this feeling, usually through reassurance or trying to make situations come about that they feel will make them happy and finally grant them relief. This inevitably impacts your vibe, you become a parasite of sorts and everyone you come into contact with is simply a means to an end.
Well, now you have to meet your ex. When you contact your ex, you need to ask them to meet you. But do not call it a date. Do not even talk about getting back together. Just say you want to “catch up” or “hang out together”. Try to keep it short, like a lunch or coffee. The date has to be in setting where you can leave easily if you sense that things are going south.
Commitment problems can come from a wide range of places. Perhaps they had a relationship that was horrible and their ex cheated on them. This would obviously make them hesitant to commit to someone else. They may also have parent issues that explain their commitment issues. First, you need to figure out why they are that way so you can tailor your behavior to make them want to commit. [Read: 13 signs he wants a relationship but has commitment issues]
I and my ex girlfriend had dated for 2 years, I was her first boyfriend. We were in a long distance relationship, we were happy together before we departed to different universities, we were so much in love but as time goes on she started behaving strangely and I suspected she's seeing someone else, I tried asking her but she said she's not seeing anyone else. I started feeling insecure with me, I lost trust because I became suspicious because of her behavior lately, I became desperate to know what's happening and it seems I forced her to say this " she told me over the phone that she's no longer interested in the relationship" I tried stopping her but she insisted I begged and apologized but she said she want us to be apart. from that day I investigated that she has someone else in the university there and the guy she's with now is the same guy I suspected she told me that's his just a close friend. I love her and I want her back I don't know what to do.
Sure, you miss him and whenever he calls it’s the highlight of your day. You don’t want him to know that though. You don’t want him to know that you’re missing him. You don’t want him to know that you’ve spent the last three days stalking his online profiles to try and see what he’s been doing since the two of you split. No, instead, you need to act causal. You need to show him that leaving your life has had no negative impact on you. You need to make him question whether he’s made the right decision, without forcing the question down his throat.
You may worry about the old adage, “Out of sight, out of mind,” and use that as a justification to reach out. The thought of him moving on and forgetting about you is too terrifying to bear. One little text won’t hurt, you reason. But, in this instance, it will hurt. If you want your ex back, it is important that you strictly adhere to the no contact rule.

If you are a game player its time to look at the underlying fear that drives your manipulations.  Often therapy can really help uncover and help to heal the old hurts that are getting in the way of a healthy future.  Learning how to love yourself is a process worth undertaking. Don’t wait until failed adult relationships confirm your fear that you really aren’t worthy of love.


The best way to optimize your chances of getting your ex bf back is to become Ungettable Girl.  You want to increase your value in his eyes and also make it difficult for him to reach you, talk to you, and see you.  This is just a small part of becoming the Ungettable Girl.  It’s also about making yourself beautiful in his eyes from afar.  He can see you, but now it is at a distance (through Snap chat, Facebook, etc).   Slowly over time, your ex boyfriend will crave you and you will do things to ensure that he feels that craving every day by using little jealousy ploys and rumors and chance encounters.  Your ex boyfriend loves nothing more than a good chase – so give him one.
However, stringing a guy along for months on end, just to “make him wait,” will inevitably pull him away from you. Many people say that if you’re dumped for having sex soon enough, then he wasn’t worth the hassle in the first place. Whilst this is true to a certain extent, attaching a timeframe before making love with someone you care about could do the same.

“Many women can confuse sex and sexual desires with a guy’s interest in them. He wants sex, she also wants sex but thinks him wanting sex means there is something more,” says Goldstein. “Explore your sexual boundaries and know where they are and why they’re there.” And, even more importantly, don’t let yourself be pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do just because you want to gain someone’s interest.
There are many, many reasons why someone may choose to explore a reconciliation with their ex. But a lot of the time, those reasons aren’t exactly good. "People often want to get an ex back because they think it will heal the pain they feel in the immediate moment," says Brandy Engler, psychologist and author of The Men On My Couch. "If they were rejected or broken up with, it can be a strong impulse to want that person to accept you in order to heal the wound of rejection." And that, of course, isn’t a good reason to get back together.
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We bought my fave food nd we stayed in his condo and watched movies. We were like friends. No malice. And we were not sweet like how we were on text. But he’s sorrt that our first date is as simple as that only. And he even said that next time, he will do better. Then we slept on diffrent bed. But he came to me and slept beside me. I dont know what came to my mind and i hugged him. He hugged me back. All night, we just cuddled. We didnt kiss or had sex (well i wont allow him if he forced me) . the next morning, we didnt talk about it like it never happened. He walked me to the bus station.
This was not the type of relationship I had hoped she started with her ex. And I truly believe it’s because Margarete skipped this step. She did no contact. But she never grieved and regained her individuality. In my opinion, she should have extended no contact until she regained her self-confidence. But the idea of getting back together was too tempting for her to listen.
Your chances are definitely going to be there as long as the relationship was a meaningful one. However given his age in particular, there could be a chance that he's also exploring at this stage of life and being with someone older was simply an experience he wanted to try but still felt more comfortable at the end of the day being with someone closer to his age. Continue with no contact and after you're done, you could reach out to him to see where he stands on being friends again. You'll have to do things a step at a time starting as friends, before you're able to rebuild attraction further, so the best advice I can give you is to remain patient and avoid building up unnecessary expectations.
I am currently in 'no contact' - I haven't spoken to my ex boyfriend since the break-up, which was about three weeks ago. Our relationship was incredibly close: we were together for two years, we had exchanged promise rings and often talked about our future (marriage, etc.)... I love him so much. He is a genuinely lovely, altruistic and romantic guy and we share so much in common, in terms of interests and values. He used to say I made him so happy, content and that I was his best friend, as well as his girlfriend.
The hardest question of all to answer though is this one: ‘why do men pull away after intimacy’? The answer is unclear, but it’s usually tied to a man who realized you weren’t what he craved in the long run. Especially when he becomes distant in this case, it can be difficult to repair what you had. We’re not saying it’s impossible for a guy to overcome his worries about you or the relationship. However, usually, once those doubts become so strong that it makes him pull away and become distant, it’s often too late to salvage something strong and durable.
KarenLee Poter currently hosts an Internet talk show, The KarenLee Poter Show, and blog about dating, sex, love, and everything in-between. KarenLee recently published, A Cougar’s Guide To Getting Your Ass Back Out There, a book about her experiences and insights into dating again. Poter is also an expert in large age gap relationships, as she’s been in a committed relationship for the past 7 years with a man several years her junior. The KarenLee Poter Show commands a worldwide audience, receiving nearly 125,000 views per month, and KarenLee’s writing has been featured on multiple blog sites.

A survey of 1,000 people by Lovehoney found 43% of women and female-identifying people had had sex with ex while they were looking for a new partner - the main reason was because they missed physical intimacy (42% of respondents). And almost a third (31%) said they had sex with the ex because they hoped to get back together with their former partner.

My bf of five months is going thru a divorce. He broke up with me saying he could fall in love with me so easily but can't let himself and needs time to heal from his marriage. It is an increasingly messy divorce. He messaged the next day saying he has set up counselling and will sort everything out and then again to say he loved every minute with me and is sorry he's not himself right now. I told him to take the time he needs to heal and have been responding to his texts but am finding this all very had and confusing....
"Be more assertive if you're interested in a guy. Sometimes reading signals from women feels a bit like reading brail if you're not blind. There are a lot of ways a girl can show she's interested without going overboard, like a subtle touch or giving a little extra attention at a party. If a guy knows you're interested there's a big chance he'll become interested too." Josh F
My boyfriend of almost four years broke up with me and I’m so sad. He’s been reaching out to check on me for the first four days and then just dropped off. How would this article apply to my situation? I’m not clinging to the hope of him coming back, but there’s always a chance he’ll miss me and realize what he lost. I’ve been initiating no contact with him.
Love is not a game and unless you don’t want to be in a relationship anymore, don’t play games with him. He hasn’t done anything specifically wrong and you shouldn’t punish him for not saying he misses you. Being in love with someone and missing them doesn’t mean you should play with their mind. If he sees you’re living your life and having fun, he will soon want to express his feelings a little more. Remember it’s not easy for guys to understand what us women are thinking. If you go about something in the wrong way it can often be perceived differently to how you want it too.
I’m kind of having the same problem but I’ve given him like 3 months of space should I keep waiting I want to waste all my time waiting on him but I really really like him even lives in Canada and I live in FL we wanted to make it work and eventually move closer to where the other is but then after a very close father figure passed away he started distancing himself more and more we’ve known eachother for 3 almost 4 years :(
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We all know people who have found love on dating sites. And you might too. But the sheer number of people you have to vet can lead you to settling for the wrong one out of complete exhaustion. It’s also ridiculously easy to be seduced by skin-deep attributes that won’t matter at all long-term. As important as chemistry is, her beautiful smile can also distract you from discovering who she is at heart.

I recently visited home. We met up with each other, talked, laughed, cried, slept together, agreed we still have a deep intimate connection, & we want to be together. However, he is still with the girl he has been dating for months. He does not love her and is afraid to end a good thing and take a chance with me, even though he knows that we can make this work and be better than before. I am moving back home in a few months, not for him, for me. All of my family and friends of the last 40 years are at home. What am I supposed to do? We love each other, want to be together, and eventually we'll be living in the same town again. But he's with her, this is my worst nightmare
Allow me to jump in because I have had a great deal of experience with this scenario. I’m a grandmother, a beautiful grandmother and I’m totally head over hills for the man I’m dating. We live in separate states which at first caused great concern. I even broke it off completely. I sensed that the issue was mine – not his – so I jumped right in with both feet to find out what was the “deeper” issue. Come to find out, I had an issue from childhood – anxious attachment – which stems from my mother (I won’t go into all the details here). Needless to say, I had never dealt with this anxious attachment (Google it), and it was surfacing from his pulling away. Once God healed me of this syndrome, I have never had any problem with his, what we call, pulling away. I need my space – he needs his space. I’m so glad this was resolved. Six months later, he sent me a text and we are back together again – probably forever! But, if not, I can move on and wish him the best!

...And then I got back with one of my exes. I know, it pains me to say it out loud. Not because they're the worst person on earth and I was ashamed, but because I went back on my word. My point is: it's easy to claim revisiting a former relationship is a bad idea and to dish out advice to your pals like you're the moral compass of the group, but when it happens to you, you realise actually it's not always such a ridiculous idea.
Having your own interests can go a long way toward making him more interested in you. The more things you’re into, the more he will be into you. And if those hobbies happen to align? Great, but don’t feel like you have to go to the climbing gym with him every single week. If you run into him while there with a friend, do the Touch and Flake and then climb on.
Hi, I’m currently going through the painful process of a messy breakup. I actually did a few of not all the mistakes from step number one(mostly because he didn’t even wait 24hrs after our breakup to start talking to other girls..) Eventually, he texted today that he was sorry from the bottom of his heart and if he had it his way he would still date me but he also said that we just need to stop talking completely for “both of a sakes” because I was “too invested in him” . He said that he was a burden and I although I do love him, and I would only like to be with him later on. I want to do this. I just don’t know if I’d be blocked by the time I do end up contacnting (maybe a couple months from now). I read this article, and it honestly helped me a lot. A lot of these, I had already thought about but this just reinforces that this is what I should do to heal myself. Thank you for it!

As you have never officially been together, NC may not be the best idea unless the period of 'dating' was long enough and filled with the same amount of memories created as a normal couple would have. I would actually suggest trying to work things out first and communicating whatever you feel across and to assure her about the freedom issue she worries about.


Alright, so the biggest thing I want you to focus on for the no contact period is the fact that you are using this month to become the best version of yourself that you have ever been. There is a 100% chance, especially if you are ignoring him, that your ex is going to check up on you during this period and instead of sulking around feeling sorry for yourself he is going to see a strong, sexy, fun-having woman!

He was supposed to buy his ticket to visit, and he had not. When I got home he called me. When I asked if he was still visiting, he said he wanted more, he did not know me as well as he would like, the calls were not building the relationship for him and seeing each other once a month would not be enough. That day and that day only during our calls, I said I knew the two months would be hard, that we still should get to know each other, that it thought we were falling, and that I while not there, I could have seen him as my husband (not yet, but could see it). I felt confused as he had been leading, initiating most calls, was the one saying love you, and asking to talk. He said that I was great emotionally and verbally and he did value me. I finally said, I want you to have what you want and wish you the best.
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