Hello! I have the following problem. Me and my wife are together for 7 years. We had a 4 years old girl. We had our ups and downs but we had a very good relationship. Two years ago she met some colleague of her from another city on some business trip. She cheated on me after a while. I found out in her messages that but she lied to me, she accused me of mistrust and other staff like that. I decided to believe her and move on. I even propose to her. Everything was perfect the last year or I though so. The last winter I cough her again and then this summer. They met each other not more than 3 4 times, for that I am sure. He is living in another city, he is a lot older than we are, he has wife and kid too. Most of the time they chat to each other via messenger. In june I left our home for a couple of weeks but she couldn`t take care as I wanted for our kid and our home. So I moved back because I want to look after my kid. We are back together for the last two months more as a parents and roommates than a couple. She is saying she loves me but she is not in love with me and she love the other guy although they cant have anything serious besides seeing 2 times in the year. I think I feel the same way but I want to make it right for our kid. What could I do. I know I love her and can live with her till rest of my wife. I want to reconnect with her in a real way, to restore trust and to build a new relation. I saw that system isn`t working if we are living together. So what should I do.
Hi, we work at same place and she sit just front of me so we see each other 100 times a day. Not able to apply no contact rule properly. Two months in no contact but not working as both are at same place. But whenever I text her in urgent no reply from her. In a month we will not be together, so should I wait to be apart when she will feel it or everything in her seems dead for me. I can’t take her rigid nature of not texting back or receive emergency call. What she want. I am not well and can’t focus on my personal life and career which is not good for me.
Sooner or later, trust becomes an issue in just about any relationship regardless of roles or gender. For now, let’s look at trust in romantic relationships. Let’s explore the possibilities of intentionally creating trust and rebuilding it if it gets damaged. Both men and women are equally afraid of being controlled, dominated, or betrayed. Do you ever wonder why that is so or how you can avoid this kind of pain?
And lastly, many men are from poorer school districts which graduate young men from high school unable to even read at a fourth-grade level. If you’re from a poor neighborhood, your school doesn’t have nearly as much money to hire good teachers as do schools in wealthy neighborhoods; nor will your parents likely read to you. All this leaves semi- or illiterate men feeling chronically inferior to other men, and undeserving of the blessing of raising children and being in a good marriage. As one man told my mother, being illiterate means that anybody else has a knife that they can stab you in the back with any time they want.

Hi, my girlfriend of 3 months finally came over to my home to find out I live with my Mom. She never knew this before. She brought a bottle over, so she clearly wanted to finally have sex with me. We went to a restaurant instead because I told her my Mom is sick and I take care of her. At the restaurant, I was talking to her about log term commitment and marriage possibly. She was recently divorced with kids. I notice she never invites me to functions with her kids. We normally do stuff together with just the 2 of us. She is kind of defiant and rebellious just for the record. So, I get this text 3 days later after she comes over about wanting to break up with me because I want a long term relationship and she wants friends with benefits. I told her I was cool with friends w/ benefits too but she insists on the break up. She has a history of making excuses when she doesn't want to go to an event via text, so I don't know if the marriage questions caused the break up or was it really the mom situation/ her wanting sex. Your thoughts, what should I do to get her back??? How do I know if ever which it was?
This is great advice! However, I may be a little too late in receiving it. I like this guy and we had an amazing connection for a couple months. As soon as I decided he was someone I wanted to be with, we started doing everything together and I began outwardly letting him know I care. Now he seems barely interested at all. Is there recovery from this or is it time to just move on? Thank you
Since the answer to the eternal puzzle of how to make a guy commit has been answered, what are you waiting for? Try our tips out on your date, your boyfriend or the eternal frat boy you just haven’t seemed to be able to convince to commit for a long time. Make sur ethat you are both on the same level and that you have not mistakenly misread any signs along the way. We’re almost sure he won’t resist your charm and he’ll be a changed man in no time. That works for us ladies, doesn’t it?
Under the normal circumstances, one month would be the advisable time to wait before contacting your ex again. I would suggest trying for the same period and using this time to focus on loving yourself right now, especially with the pregnancy on its way. However, given the current circumstances and if one month is too long, at least wait 2-3 weeks to see if he comes around eventually.
So I have done no contact for almost two weeks as my ex was all over my phone, texting and calling me and because we have a child together I give in as he did suggest he want to see his son then I went to his house and everything was so hot and sweet then he start ignore me again and all disrespecting me. I wonder what could have cause that. I was the one who ended our relationship because he wasn't showing me love and he was dies pectin me and going parties on a regular basis and no couple times with us but all I wanted was for him to start act right. We weren't living together for 4years
2. Learn how to turn conflict into a gift. Most of us are so conflict averse we would rather do almost anything to avoid walking directly into the difference. But the feelings that arise from whatever situation created the conflict don’t just go away. They fester and usually pop out unexpectedly at another time often in harmful ways. When two people can calmly and lovingly talk about what happened and reach a mutually satisfying resolution, they will find that their connection to each other deepens and they grow closer together. The key to turning conflict into a gift is to push the pause button when the conflict arises and let your emotions settle down a bit before trying to talk about it.

No where in this article is there mention about being blocked! How am I to contact my ex girlfriend after 30 day no contact if she blocked me from Facebook, instagram, phone calls, and text messages? I had to make a fake Facebook to find out that she is in a possible rebound relationship! I recently, a day before starting no contact sent her two positive emails not even mentioning us getting back and she responded to both emails : Leave me the fuck alone!!! Leave me the fuck alone!!!! I know exactly why she broke it off and I do have all of the reasons as to why if back with her it will work for the both of us. My way of thinking has changed drastically. We haven't been together since August 21st and on her birthday which was the 10th of September I delivered 29 roses and 29 balloons with a card and a three page letter and it still wasn't enough. She can be very stubborn and it's a good chance that someone close to her is filling her head up by instructing her to move on and block the thought of me! So I have no choice but to do the 30 day no contact rule. However, if I'm blocked from reaching out to her in every way possible, the only option would be to pop up at her job or home which to me would be very stalkish!
I know this is hard and I am so sorry that you are going through this. You have dated a man that is emotionally unavailable and is following the same pattern that he had in his life. You mentioned his father never married his mother so this is an issue that he has to overcome himself. This is his past playing into his life now. You have to make yourself less available to him and understand that you deserve more than this. I would encourage you to book a session with me or a male coach on my team so we can help you during this time. You can reach out to me on my contact page. If so please state you messaged me on my blog so I can remember. We are here if you need further guidance.
The two authors actually broke up and got back together, and are sharing the wisdom they gained during the breakup period. I loved the authors' personal notes, and how they interject humor at just the right times. They are like our "best friends," who, because they care about us and want us to move forward (instead of sitting around, sad, depressed, and obsessing over the breakup), they share the details of their own painful break-up and the personal insight they acquired as a result. The vital decisions they each made about their lives during the breakup enabled them to come back together as better people, with a deeper understanding of themselves and what they each want/need in a relationship.
You'll have to understand that being good friends have nothing to do with the relationship once you get involved with each other and promises to remain good friends should the relationship fail simply holds no value anymore. As for the reason why he broke up with you, it often is due to taking the other party for granted, and growing intolerant to that person over time. This results in one party feeling tired of being in the relationship and simply pushing blame and thinking whatever the other person does is wrong.

This tactic may be a little harder to implement because it can sometimes depend on the situation that your ex is currently in. Basically you are going to bring up a stressful event very gently and show that you are going to be supportive no matter what with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. This has to be completely genuine otherwise you are better off not saying anything at all.
Eric, although I think you might be “spot on” on your theories, I can tell you for a fact that at age 67 I’ve had a lot more experience. Here really is the very bottom line in finding a good relationship, “it has to be cultivated and tended to”. After 40 yrs of marriage, loss due to death, we had to grow up together, we changed as we grew, we had to adjust, we became grown ups, our ideas, needs and desires changed. No matter how hard times are, no matter how much you share in common, or laugh or cry together, the one thing—“the only thing that keeps you together through thick and thin, till death do you part” Is a high regard for the other persons “person”, and a hell of magnetic physical attraction. Easy as that. It takes YEARS for the former to develop—and you can only hope that the latter remains. There is no magic wand. It is hard work that can pay you back with a lifetime of wonderful memories.
Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW is a multilingual individual and couples psychotherapist who has had a private practice in New York City for nearly two decades. She specializes in relationship issues and provides in-person and virtual counseling. Please see Rachel’s website at relationshipsuite.com for more information. Get her FREE audios and lessons to help tame your anger, communicate more effectively and create more intimacy in your relationship.
My ex boyfriend are both in our mid-20s and dated for 6 months until he broke up with me out of the blue when I came back from a vacation almost two months ago. He did it via text, blaming it on mental health issues and two days later called me to meet up and talk about it. The whole time he was being extremely affectionate. I told him we could be friends but saw him on tinder that night and told him that was hurtful and cut contact. I realized that I had been acting insecure and reactive towards him and focused on being a more laid-back and positive me. Almost 4 weeks later I contacted him via text. He responded positively and I called him that week and he said he would love to hang out, then went cold on me when I tried to confirm plans. I saw him at the bar that night with other girls and kept my cool going up to him asking how he’d been, then went back into no contact after he ignored my text for a day. A couple weeks later I called him in a moment of weakness but he didn’t answer. He texted me that morning though and we started chatting a bit via text and Snapchat for a few days, and I asked him to hang out. We hung out at his place and just watched tv and talked. I felt confident and he seemed nervous. It seemed to be going great and he was heavily flirting with me, reminiscing and talking about future plans. I was sweet but playing it cool and being skeptical, not flirting too much. After I left he texted me thanking me for seeing him, telling me how awesome and sexy I am. The next day I called him to get lunch but he didn’t answer and texted me 20 mins later saying he was coaching and we had a quick, positive convo. That was a week and a half ago now and he’s ignored a text I sent him of a funny video the other day. Then, last night he posts a Snapchat of himself with another girl, which he never posts them. Did I scare him off for good with initiating too much contact? What’s the best course of action? I want to give it another chance because we had a loving relationship.
2. It forces your ex to face their decision. Awkwardly sticking around, trying to use blunt force emotion and fit pitching, even if you think you are “calmly discussing things,” only makes your ex want out of the relationship more AND doesn’t allow him/her to truly face the consequences of what they think they want. You simply put them on the defensive as they continue to have you present instead of absent.
There may be many unresolved feelings he hasn't dealt with since officially breaking up as he continued to distract himself, first with you and subsequently with the new girl. That new person has probably helped him detach himself from the lingering feelings of you since he has someone new to focus on, but if it's genuinely a rebound, it won't be long before he begins to think about you again, especially if since the breakup, you've been spending time focusing on self-improvement and making changes to your life.
Your girlfriend wants to know that you have eyes for her only.  She needs to know why you chose to be with her.  And she wants to see that you will be loyal to her.  Most woman worry that you will tire of them, move on or become unfaithful.  By expressing why you are with her, she will feel more secure in the relationship and that you are not going anywhere.
because only men pull away…all my life is full of all that “it’s not you it’s me” crap,every single time,you try to be nice,understanding,give time and offer encouragement and every time…this…i’m starting to think something is wrong with me,i am already in enough despair as it is and hearing this when i am choosing my words like before a trial or something…it is the most horrible feeling i have ever experienced,and i have been through loss,rough accidents and others…and this hurts worse than all together,the feeling of hopelessness when you pull out even your own soul to show that person everything will be alright and still…nothing.
He said that he wanted time to think about everything I said and that he's not ready to lose me yet, even though I had said I was done trying to win him back (which I'm not). There is no one else in the world I want to be with, which is why I am agreeing to give him space because I know we both need it. He said he was going to do his best to not let me down, but I am feeling incredibly desperate and full of false hope.

Therefore, make sure that you keep kissing your partner! The 9-second kiss is a way to ensure that you connect intimately in this way, every day. When you or your partner comes home, make the first contact between the two of you, a kiss – a kiss that lasts for at least 9 seconds – while you closely hug each other. Make it a juicy, sexy and succulent kiss! Through kissing, you connect. Kissing creates desire. It brings you closer to your partner.
My ex-boyfriend recently broke up with me almost two weeks ago. We had been dating for 3 years and 4 months. The day after the breakup I asked to meet him and tried to convince him. I failed. The next day I called him and failed to convince him again. 6 days later I met with him again to get closure, but ended up with nothing again. It is my 5th day of no contact and I intend to give him a month or two of NC. We have "broken up" before, but it was usually only for a day and typically were caused by small fights where one of us was stressed and lashed out. One of the reasons we broke up this time was because he said he didn't have romantic feelings towards me and just loved me as a friend. He said that he struggled with his feelings for me in our third year and started to feel like our relationship was a chore and allowed these feelings to bottle up inside of him. He also had a lot going on which I think is another factor that affected our relationship. When he broke up with me he said things like "I don't love you anymore", he agreed that I made him feel loved and wanted, he said I tried my best, but said he still couldn't love me like that. He also said that he didn't want to go through that cycle of breaking up and making up and wasn't ready to be in a relationship right now. Although I want to accept this gracefully and respect his decision, I still would like him in my life. I feel confident we can make it work. Part of me is scared that he won't reach out or be open to starting a new relationship with me, but I love him and want to be the one to make him happy. I don't know if we have a chance. Everyone says we don't have a chance and that he won't change his mind, but I want to know what you think. I want to believe and start this NC period with some optimism and hope. Do we have a chance?

We both met through gay dating app in Feb-2018 and loved each other for 3 months and both used to express our love indirectly where my boyfriend used to like me a lot and used to chat with me daily with lot of interest and enthusiasm and use to share his pics where he goes and use to say everything. And we celebrated the first two months anniversary too . In 4th month that is in May-2018 i expressed to him directly that i love him and he said i liked you as a friend and but i could sense at that time he likes me but not expressing. Slowly he lost interest in me and but used to chat with me daily.
Based on what you’re saying, it doesn’t sound like there’s a good chance at this point of reconciliation due to his negative impression of you. I suggest giving him this year to do no contact and picking yourself up, since you will definitely still see him again when he gets back from his studies abroad. Spend this time working on your issues, so that when you cross paths again, you’d be a different person from who you were a year ago, and which may lead to easier chances of re-igniting the relationship romance.
Do not say yes every time he asks you out Saying sorry, I’m busy, to every third or fourth date guarantees to keep him interested and challenged to win you over. If he asks you why you are busy keep it vague saying you already had plans for that night. Then suggest the following evening. That is all he needs to know. He will wonder if there is another man in the picture and that will set off his hunter instincts. This will drive him mad with desire trying to figure out where you are and who you are with.
My boyfriend and I broke up March 26th. We got in a huge fight and I said some mean things. I pretty much begged my way back to him. That lasted a month. During that month, he was very distant and wouldn’t really make plans with me. Mind you, before we started dating we were best friends for a year. He broke up with me one week ago. We didn’t talk for 3 days until we ran into each other at a concert. He was a little drunk, so i took care of him. He texted me the next morning and we talked for a bit, the next day i asked him if he wanted to see the new Deadpool movie. His response was “maybe” he then said maybe some space would do us good. And we haven’t talked since. He told me when he saw me that he “didn’t love me like that” anymore. Do you think i have a chance? Should i spend time working on me, and then contact him and try to get our friendship back and then hope we get back together? Or should i just move on? I really love him and want to be with him, he is still my bestfriend after all.

Avoid forcing yourself to believe that he is nice guy and hasn’t done anything wrong, which is why you should continue being with him. This is like convincing yourself of something that probably isn’t right. The bottom line is that you need to be in a relationship where you feel happy and respected. You should feel good without him, but even better when you are with him.
Ex got mad during no contact. I'm currently on day 2 of no contact and she just started a fight about why I suddenly wanted to stop talking. I told her I needed space to set my mind straight. Just like I already explained before breaking contact. Still she said that I'm awful for playing her emotions like this. Since I said I wanted to keep post breakup contact and then a day later I found out about no contact 30 days and decided to try it. So I said no more contact after all. She ended up deleting me from social media. What do I do? What if after no contact is done she's still mad? Then I can't initiate the next step of casually contacting her followed by asking her out for coffee.
I lost the love of my life over something stupid that I did. Long story short, I lied about my age. Although she didn’t care about my real age, it was the lie I carried on for a year that was part of the reason we broke up. She came from an emotionally abusive marriage and had baggage from that. And two kids who I came to love dearly – and who got along very well with mine. I know that she had issues stemming from childhood, specifically trust. But she’s an awesome girl – the love of my life, my parallel. But I messed up – I lied. Honestly, the lie started because I was afraid that she would be turned off when we first met (she’s 28 and I’m 48)…so I told her I was 44. Every time she brought up age stuff, I steered the conversation away. I wanted to tell her so many times but I knew that if I did that would end things. So I let it go and my heart is breaking because of it. It was her abusive ex-husband who cued her in and she defended me to him until I admitted it. Now, she won’t have anything to do with me. The breakup ended VERY BADLY. Probably the worst I’ve ever experience. Yelling/screaming/crying/etc. She said she can’t believe a word I said and felt like I used her for sex. She said that if I ever contacted her again that I’d be sorry. So I haven’t. At first after the breakup I did what everyone does – texted/called/emailed. I didn’t know of these steps. At any rate, she won’t talk and the last time we did I was met with extreme hostility. I know this one is done. Had I followed this advice there might have been a chance. But I doubt even that. Lessons learned the hardest of all ways. I wanted to marry her. It would have been my second and her third. I love her with all my heart and soul – she his my parallel. The yin to my yang.
One of the best pieces of relationship advice that I can contribute is “Don’t Settle” for anyone who is not worthy of you. Along with that, it’s imperative that you first of all believe that having your ideal mate is possible. Second of all, believe that you deserve to have your ideal mate. Usually, men find no trouble attracting material things that they want: a house, car, t.v., clothes, tickets to their favorite sporting event, etc.
What makes you irreplaceable in the eyes of your man? Your ability to reach deep into the depths of who he is and inspire him. To put it more bluntly, you must offer something that is much more rare and valuable than sex if you want him to treat you as something important in his life. I mean … duh, right?  And yet this obvious truth gets distorted and overlooked.

At the same time, many, and quite possibly most, abusers, are not willing or able to apply themselves to learning better ways. The partner of an abusive individual must look realistically if their partner is one of the subgroup of abusers who does genuinely apply him/herself to making changes, or is of the larger group who are just going to keep returning to abusive and controlling behavior.
My boyfriend of almost four years broke up with me and I’m so sad. He’s been reaching out to check on me for the first four days and then just dropped off. How would this article apply to my situation? I’m not clinging to the hope of him coming back, but there’s always a chance he’ll miss me and realize what he lost. I’ve been initiating no contact with him.
Try answering these questions: Do you miss your ex, or do you miss having a boyfriend or girlfriend? Did he or she make you feel better about yourself, more secure in the world, and happier? Do you imagine yourself with this person in the long-term, even when the excitement of being in love has worn off and you are stuck in the daily routines of life? If you are only missing the security of having someone and the excitement of a dramatic relationship, you can find those things with someone else in a healthier, more stable relationship.
Let the royals care about titles. One of the biggest mistakes you can make during the early hook is to suggest or even hint that things have started to formalize by assigning the labels “girlfriend” and “boyfriend.” Even if you feel like things are going in the right direction and that your relationship is getting more serious, there’s an extremely wide gulf between just being someone you’re dating and someone who has been officially proclaimed a boyfriend. What your man wants you to know but won’t tell you is that affixing titles to the relationship too early is like holding up a cross to a vampire. We will often run fast and hard when we feel like we’re being boxed into something we don’t want or is too premature.
It is normal for you men to want to spend time with their friends to talk about the football and other interests and it is good for him to have an outlet… as should you. Stopping him seeing his friends is never a wise move to make. You man will feel incredibly proud if his friends say how “cool” you are. You can become the “cool” girlfriend by not stopping him from seeing his friends, showing genuine interest in his friends interests and life’s, and having a laugh with them.
He Says He Misses Me: What Does It Mean When He Says He Misses You? The 10 Biggest Signs Your Ex Misses You How To Give Him Space So That He Misses You And Comes Back When Does A Man Miss A Woman? How To Make A Man Miss You (In 3 Steps) How to Give Someone Space Without Losing Them (Or Losing Your Mind) Exactly How To Make Your Ex Miss You After A Breakup
Really interesting theory and scientific backup. I actually agree that human behaviors and emotions are largely influenced by hormones and chemicals. I am a biolochemistry student, and I have been taught this kind of things in class. It's quite interesting in my opinion how men and women differ emotionally just because we don't have the same hormones in our bodies. Just something to think about 🙂
Meanwhile, we all try to establish our sense of self both inside and outside our relationships. So the first step is to remind yourself that these phases in a relationship are normal. Especially during the early stages.  So don’t stress, let go of your fear and doubt. Stop recounting every last minute of the phone conversation you just had and find things in your life that you enjoy. Fill your time with meaningful distraction.
After a few months, the calls and texts slowed down, I was still visiting, but not sure where I stood with him,I would text, and his responses weren’t the same as before, I started to think he wasn’t interested anymore, he would sometimes bring up the fact that he is not able to like or love someone on the emotional level, I felt like he was backing off. I just got back 2 days ago and while I was there I asked him if he liked me or had feelings for me, he looked sad but said no he doesn’t have feelings for me and he can’t like anyone because he doesn’t like himself. He would say “just keep being my friend”. I am heart broken over it….
He definitely isn’t going to miss you if you’re just going to be negative and annoying every single time that you’re with him. If you really want to make him miss you, it’s important for you to be showing him a good time every moment that you’re together. Make him laugh as much as possible. Bring smiles to his face. Make his life a lot easier by doing stuff and running errands for him. The moment that you disappear from his life – even for just a minute – he’s really going to feel that void that you’ve left behind.
Send her a letter. Girls also love letters, because they take a lot of time and you have to express your feelings. Start off by saying something like: "I know this letter doesn't fix what's broken between us, and maybe it never will. But I want you to know that I care deeply about you, and I always will. That part has never changed. The part that's changed is that I realize how stupid I was to let you go."
Great job for stopping smoking. But remember, you really did it for yourself. That choice is yours for “you” and it will have positive implications for your entire life. Just go it slow. Relationships that have been injured need to be nursed back to health slowly. Look to my website Home page for resources, tools, and my eBooks to help you with the entire relationship recovery process.
What a d*ck. You look gorgeous, BTW, I don’t think it’s you, I think it’s him. Having said that – big mistake you made was when he said he needed space – you should NOT have texted him! I know it’s easy to make that mistake, I’ve done it myself. When a guy says he needs space – give it to him in busloads. Don’t text, don’t call, etc. Just leave him alone. Give your phone to your best friend if you need to to keep yourself from calling him in a moment of weakness. Schedule activities every night if you need to – put in more time at work, spend time with friends, work out, get a massage… get a second job. ANYTHING! Just do NOT contact him.

Oddly enough, many of my clients were successful in re-establishing contact with their ex boyfriends by simply not even trying.  They didn’t do anything except move forward with their lives, focusing on bettering themselves personally and professionally.  In a way, it is a form of what I call Passive No Contact or Passive Radio Silence.  It works for some people.  They figure that if their boyfriend dropped them, then so be it and instead of becoming dependent and addicted to their ex boyfriend, they choose to embrace other things in their life, doing those things they want to do and accomplish. Then as they focus on those things and have success, often times their ex boyfriends show up realizing they made a huge mistake letting their girlfriend go.
When you do not get enough sleep, your negativity takes over big time. This was the conclusion researchers came to after several experiments. One of these is particularly interesting. The researchers homed in on the hippocampus which is the part of the brain which processes our positive thoughts. When we are sleep deprived, this function starts to creak and negative thoughts muscle in much more than before.
This may be the best advice. Be happy. Don’t put on a façade. Be happy because you deserve happiness. Have you always wanted to travel to Paris? Book that flight! Have you desired a new career? Go back to school. Want to learn a new talent? Sign up for that painting class. Whatever it is that will make you a happier, healthier you, do it! If your ex sees you living out your dreams, he may miss you and come back. If he doesn’t, one day you will realize you don’t care. Guys really do like happy girls the most because they want to feel good when they're around you. If you're constantly full of drama when he’s around he’s going to start associating feeling bad with being around you and this is going to end things rather quickly. When you’re happy around him he’ll also be more inclined to reach out to you the next time he’s having a bad day.
It's best to admit your mistakes. You'll need to forgive yourself for your part in the breakup, then move forward to seek his forgiveness. If you lose your temper and say things you don't mean, pull yourself together as quickly possible and apologize sincerely. There is nothing weak or demeaning about apologizing. On the contrary, it shows strength and good character. But when you apologize, be sure you mean it. A disingenuous apology is worse than no apology.
My bf and I ‘ve been together for 1.5 year in a distance relationship but we both had met each other a lot as he come to visit once a year, and now we just break up for 2 weeks ago cuz of he didn’t have enough time for me then i asked him for break up. After that i realise that i love him a lot and i don’t want to lose him but he said we can’t get through this again because he doesn’t have enough time for me , he need to study more. and during we were together we always flight , but i still chat ask him for a chance but he said he can’t do this again. He said he still loves me but he want me to have someone who can fulfil my need. What should i do , should i start to distance from him? But i feel hard cus we are on a distance relationship.
Saskia Nelson is the talent behind the award-winning and internationally acclaimed Saturday Night’s Alright, the UK’s coolest dating photography business, specializing in creating dating photos that kick ass and win dates for 100s of single people. She is also the co-founder of Irresistible Dating. She has been credited by Time magazine for kick-starting the genre of dating photography and is recognized as the leading industry expert in the UK & US on all things dating-photo related.

Two weeks ago I hit him. He became very angry and said that it was too late for me. After that we have hung and cuddled, as usual. He's going to London in a few days and we're still not together again. I'm afraid I've broken my chances by hitting him and making drama. I do not know how to do "no contact" when he is in another country, busy with studies. Can you help me? He says he still loves me, but lacks sparkle. He also thinks that it's a lot of drama and I'm rushing things. He says he will still hang and talk. But it will not work for me, I will become insecure and make more drama. What shall I do?
If you wish to win him back, you're going to have to make some positive changes to your life, which takes time. This is why he feels too that both parties should go their own ways aka giving each other space before thinking about reconciliation. I would recommend considering NC for the time being to work on yourself and focus on picking yourself up emotionally.
Hi - I've been dating a wonderful woman for over 12 years. For the most part, everything was fine but I took her for granted. I was regularly late, my house was a mess and I wasn't always at my best. Never was physically or mentally abusive. I have two kids, not hers, who she loves and I know they love her. My daughters are now 25 and 18 so they've been part of her life for most of their lives. It's been a long month without her and I'd love to know what I can do to fix things with her. I've tried to give her the 30 days away deal and have tried to stay away from her to give her some time.

So you’ve mastered the ways to stop a man from withdrawing, and everything seemed to be headed in a rosier direction, it’s time to implement some positive communication skills. Once you’ve calmed down from analyzing and you’ve created some much-needed space, it’s time to figure out how to express how you’re feeling without causing more ripples in your relationship.
Similarly, if he’s getting your attention, praise, sex or whatever just because… even with bad behavior, there is no incentive to want to get you back in an official way. There is no reason he would do anything different than he has been doing since what he’s been doing so far has worked well.  In addition, giving in to him and giving him everything he wants just makes you look needy and desperate.  He might be thinking, if she is so desperate to have me then maybe no one else wants her… and if no one else wants her… why should I?

I have been with this boy for almost two years now. I may be judged for putting this out as right now I am 13 going on 14 but I can tell you we have an accual relationship as all adults do. Some things are different of course but the fact that we have been almost two years strong should tell you something. I have been upset lately because I’ve been dealing and doing these things to my boyfriend and this has crossed my mind and I came here for help so I am going to try this out. I hope I can recive some positive comments back of support and advise. Please no judgement for my age. I can honestly tell you, my parents fight and have a less mature relationship at times then we do. I only seek support and advise. Thank you.


That's great to hear. Yes, your happiness should always come first. Remember that no breakup is easy and it may be a painful experience to go through, but it does make you stronger and it gets easier with each day. Even if you don't move on and still have feelings for him after a period of time, picking yourself up from the negative emotions and learning to accept things as they are and being okay with it does help in winning your partner back too.


Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.
Build some intrigue into your schedule that keeps him wanting more. Wait a few minutes to text back, or if he asks if you're free Tuesday, say that you have other plans but you'd love to meet up on Wednesday. This helps him to realize that your time is valuable and that he'll have to go out of his way to see you. Just remember, no one likes playing games. "Don't move dates around too much—that can get frustrating for a guy who also has a busy schedule like you," Trespicio says.
He says that he was not comfortable being at his trueself with me. we were in a relationship for 3 years and now he says this.He's way too inconsistent about his thoughts and gives a list of reasons for the break up and he wants to be only FRIEDS with me at least for a while. it's been almost 4 months since we broke up, I've been pleading him all this while and today I decided to Start No Contact period for at least 2 - 3 months until December. Kindly help me in getting him back. I'm very much serious about this guy.Also please Suggest me if i'm doing it right.
#1 Be fun and easy going. Guys are much less complicated than women, that much is for certain. They like things to be easy going and relaxed. Which means they don’t really want to commit to someone who’s going to add stress to their life. So be easy going and keep things light and fun. He’ll be much more willing to commit. [Read: 10 ways to prove that you’re girlfriend material]

Typically, men love to see their woman as a prize that they need to work for. They see the woman that they choose to be with as an accomplishment and as someone that took work to earn. It might sound a little silly but it’s true. Men love to know a woman has a mind of her own, is confident, and isn’t easy to get. So, men pull away when women get too clingy. Do not start canceling all your plans to be available to him every day all day.

Instead of focusing on how much time he calls, spends time with you etc. Pay more attention at the QUALITY of your phone calls or time together. Is it good? Or are you in a rut? Or is he losing interest because you have nothing to talk about? When a relationship is in trouble, the first sign is the quality of the friendship and connection. Pay more attention to that, instead of the numbers. Trust me, if the connection is strong and the love is there, he will bounce back. But if the connection is lost over time, you need to figure out how to get it back instead of just “moving on” — that is YOU pulling away from this, too. Oh yeah, women can pull away too, basically by shunning the guy.
So if you have worked hard to bring your ex boyfriend back into the picture and progress is being made on multiple communication fronts, then take an opportunity and drop him a little not.  Nothing over the top.  Nothing about making a relationship commitment. You don’t want to spook your ex bf. We will talk about that in another post.  Just something that cements you enjoyed yourself.  Keep it light!
After only a 2 month relationship, is it possible to get him back? or is it just a fling? I totally get what you mean about 30 days to miss you and such, but 30 days of no contact seems like a lot considering it would be half the time we were together. He is definitely moved on, he was back on Tinder the day after we broke up. He's been polite and kind in the few times I've reached out since, but I can tell he definitely has no interest anymore. I just can't shake the feeling that no contact won't work in this situation. He has no reason to dislike me or anything, but Im sure he just sees me as someone who he wasn't ultimately compatible with. I'm not sure time apart would change that.
Men do enjoy being in relationships (when it’s with the right woman, that is), but at the same time, most men have a huge fear of losing their freedom and getting trapped in a situation with a woman who sucks them dry and leaves them feeling drained and uninspired. A man will feel “free” in a relationship when he’s with a woman who is whole and fulfilled in her life and doesn’t rely on the relationship to meet her every need.
Don’t bang your head against the wall trying to come up with ideas on how to make him commit because it only takes a few easy changes and following these few tips to achieve such a feat. All women at one point or another in their lives search for that magical, mysterious thing called commitment. But it’s not that easy to come by, and when you have to grab it from the guy or force it then it might not seem even worthwhile. You might keep asking yourself “How do I make him want to commit?” Or more precisely, you want to find ways to get him to commit to you and no other? Get ready women, we’re breaking it down for you. You can relax a little and stop worrying so much about it. Learn how to transform your relationship into a dedicated little sanctuary you have wished for but never really dreamed it would be a reality.
He says that he was not comfortable being at his trueself with me. we were in a relationship for 3 years and now he says this.He's way too inconsistent about his thoughts and gives a list of reasons for the break up and he wants to be only FRIEDS with me at least for a while. it's been almost 4 months since we broke up, I've been pleading him all this while and today I decided to Start No Contact period for at least 2 - 3 months until December. Kindly help me in getting him back. I'm very much serious about this guy.Also please Suggest me if i'm doing it right.

So when I hear someone tell me I want my ex back, I always ask them if they are prepared to change or to evolve in positive sense to make their ex want to be with them again. If you are ready to step out of your comfort zone and in certain instances re-visit some of preconceived notions or beliefs that you may hold about you and your ex than anything is possible!


Since men are by nature visual creatures who tend to be drawn to a woman based soley on the physical attraction and the chemistry he feels with her, many men tend to make poor, long-term dating choices. This type of attraction is understandable and should not be ignored when choosing a partner, but what most men fail to do is combine these biological feelings with what they require in a relationship to make them truly happy.
I have a friend (who wants to remain unnamed.) He ended up breaking up with his girlfriend of 5 months for some silly reason (I honestly never understood it.) Anyways, three months after their breakup she started dating a new guy. Immediately my friend called me up and wanted her back. He didn’t realize what he had until he saw her with another guy.
Sometimes in relationships, you can become so close that the spark starts to fade. The best way to rekindle the spark is to make him miss you and remember what it was that made him fall for you. Relationships also mutually end before they need to sometimes. You can make your ex-boyfriend miss you and remember what it was like when the relationship was great. To make him miss you regardless of the specifics, create some space, control the communication, and use subtle hints like scents, spontaneity, and intentionally "forgotten" possessions to make him think of you when you're not around. Soon enough, your guy should be longing for you and craving that passion again.

Julie, i’m glad you responded to my comment. Thank you! i needed a perspective of a third person, which you did n i really appreciate it. What you said does make sense, we had indeed just met. i only wished i had stayed longer to get to know him better. but my family said they needed me and I moved without even thinking twice. Funny thing is, after i did move, my mom was like she felt sad for me that i moved quitting my job and all and that i should’ve stayed back if i wanted to. i was like in my mind, are you serious?! lol


Me and my girl were together for a 1 month but not officially. We both say “I love you”, we cuddled, hug, kiss, go out together, everything does like it is relationship kind a thing. At first all things were fine but there are some imperfections and flaws of mine, like not giving her enough attention, not communicating about our needs and wants, and acting like a jerk sometimes that she accepts it at first because she loves me. But things get out of control, I repeatedly started those things she doesn’t want me to do again. I screwed things up over and over again, she gets really angry and said i was too immature of my age, btw i’m 19 yo and she is 18. At the end of the month she started to act cold and i am comforting why did she acted like that she told me that she didn’t like my behaviour and got turned off by how i act, she even felt sorry for getint tired of us because of my behaviour. Then she reason out why it came at end then i went nuts, begging, pleasing, that i am gonna fix it right away and begging her to stay. I got no reply. Should i pursue her? Or move on and improve myself?
Regardless, if it's his child you're carrying, there should be a level of responsibility he needs to uphold. Also, it's not his first time going through pregnancy and he should be aware that what you're going through in terms of your emotions is perfectly normal. That being said, on your own end, the child should come first at this point and anything that would further cause you emotional grief and sadness should be put aside for the time being, at least until you feel a little more control over your emotions.
The aim of becoming a better a person is first and foremost aimed towards yourself before anything, and you should develop a mindset where you're okay (emotionally) with whatever happens down the road. As long as you've sincerely worked on yourself and made changes, it would most likely reflect in your actions and behavior when reaching out to her, which in turn is supposed to attract her towards this new 'you' naturally.
Given the length and seriousness of your relationship, there's definitely still a chance. You just have to give him some time to let go of the compiled negative emotions he may be dealing with right now that translates into resentment towards you. In the meantime, it's best for you to also spend some time addressing the aspects of the relationship that you contributed in turning it sour, and improve on those aspects, so that when either him or you reaches out down the road, these changes you've made gives him a good reason to come back. Our EBP Advanced System will go into depth and teach you how to deal with these issues and pick yourself up emotionally once more, so that you come out stronger. It will also teach you how to proceed with your actions in order to win him back and the changes you need to be addressing in order to make things work.
I have a 4yr old girl and a 2 yr old boy. My kids dad and i was together for 12yrs i kno all to well that this happens. My best advice is to start putting the kids in childcare and you get a lil job you like or at a daycare being you you are use to caring for kids for like 4 hrs a day and stop focusing on him. And he’ll come bac around. Like that you’ll start building your own friendships and your always busy. Pay him less attention and he is gonna be like damn what happen and what he’s expecting. Have fun a mothers life is stressful to you need a outlet.
Hello, me and my ex boyfriend recently broke up about a month ago. Currently I am trying the no contact rule, but it's impossible for me not to see him due to the fact we attend the same workplace. Also we share the same close friends, so sometimes when out with friends he's there and at parties, but we never speak at all during them. A few days after the break up, I wrote him a letter appolising and asking if we could be friends (I think this was a bad idea to do this and I got no reply or anything from him). Also I wrote in the letter that I was okay with his decision to break up, but I wasn't. In a few weeks I want to try and contact him and speak as friends. I would prefer to do this via text as he ignores every call, and as soon as he sees me in person he gets as far away as possible. I just don't know want to say to him after this no contact period, or how to get him to want to talk to me. Could you please help me or give me any advice at all. I would really really appreciate it and be really grateful. I would be so so thankful if anyone could help at all. My email is c779912@gmail.com...
Hello I could really use some advice. I did 2 months of no contact after my ex and after that I apologized for the way I acted before. That was about a month ago and we have pretty much been talking for hours almost every day. Now however, she has been going hot and cold on me and I have no idea why. We have been seeing each other a lot lately and she always seems really happy to see me, but lately she hasn't been responding to my texts (I have only tried twice but now I just want to avoid seeming desperate)I don't know what to do now. Sometimes she seems happy around me but others I can tell she is blatantly ignoring me and I'm all confused. What can I do? Thanks in advance.

Commitment problems can come from a wide range of places. Perhaps they had a relationship that was horrible and their ex cheated on them. This would obviously make them hesitant to commit to someone else. They may also have parent issues that explain their commitment issues. First, you need to figure out why they are that way so you can tailor your behavior to make them want to commit. [Read: 13 signs he wants a relationship but has commitment issues]
Have your non-negotiables and boundaries, but dating with a strict itemized wish list—he must make this much, be this tall, drive this car, be this funny—will only hold you back from men who could be great for you in real life and limit you to men who only look good on paper, says Goldstein. “If you need a wish list it should be small and include feeling words instead of car makes and job titles,” she adds.
I've finally decided to calm down and stop pushing and go no contact and try to attract him back... but what I don't understand is....if he does come back ... how do people get trust back after something like that? How do people forgive their best friend and greatest supporter for suddenly dumping them and refusing to say why, even when they saw that not being given a reason was killing them? How do I ever feel safe with him again after that? How do I ever get over the really mean things he started saying during our post breakups fights, like that he might never see me again, or that his job and hobbies are more important to him than me? Even if he was just being mean I'll always wonder if he meant it now. How do I ever feel safe with him again when he watched me have a breakdown over our breakup and wasn't there for me and was still mean?
Long story short, if I had taken the advice of this article, he may have never cone back to me. When he was weak and kicking himself for messing up, he pulled back. Pulled back so far that he couldn’t see the potential that I did for us. I was able to be strong and fight for what I wanted, and show him that there are other kinds of women out there who won’t “hate him” for accidentally falling asleep and missing our date. I’ve shown him what true love is, and now that he sees he can be loved, he has given his full heart to me.

I know that what this article writes it’s true. At the same time, do I really want a person with which I have to lie about my true feelings? I am very intense, passionate, and so talk a lot about what so feel and what ai think. I feel hurt of I am not in his priorities, if he never calls me or if he says he is not sure of what he wants. Of course it would be better for the lenght of the relationship stay quiet and wait. But would I feel really fullfilled and loved just tolerating?

So me and my boyfriend were together for a year, but before that, we had been talking for a year so we’ve been a big part of each other’s lives for a little over 2 years. Well, we were a VERY happy couple and we loved each other very much. He was the sweetest person in the world but things started to go downhill. He broke up with me and since then, he has been rude to everyone, sometimes including me. I want to try the no contact period but we snapchat, not text so if he snapchats me, he will see that i opened it. I’m not sure if we still have a chance because after we broke up we wanted to get back together in a few weeks and he even told his friends he wanted to get back together. But soon he blew up at me and ever since, things have been shaky. We didn’t talk for 8 days until he finally snap chatted me an told me that in his art class, they were doing clay and it that it brought back so many memories for him. (for christmas he made me a beautiful pot made out of clay with my initials and a heart around them). I’m not sure what to do or think anymore.

Hi me and my boyfriend of ten years have been broken up for about a month and a half he moved in with a woman only two weeks after The Break-Up so I think it's a rebound relationship not sure if he was seeing her on the side but they both said not but anyways he spent the night with me a month after we broke up and yes we had sex he also said that he loves me and was coming back home he just need more time but he left that was 2 weeks ago and hasn't even called me or tried to see our 2 children I'm very confused at this point is it normal for this to happen? Our problem was that he drank a lot and he didn't spend time with his family so yes I fussed about lot but I have had time to think about it and realize the more you fuss about it the more they Rebelle and do it anyways so I'm willing to just let it go and let him see that it's not a good thing on his own one more thing even though he's in a relationship he told me that I was his and that I better not date anyone else what do you make of all of this please help me figure out what is going on in your opinion could it be possible it's because I made a fool out of my self when we first broke up?
Another reason your man act differently is based on fear. Maybe he’s been hurt in the past. Or maybe the idea of commitment simply petrifies him. If you two can discuss whatever the issue is and begin to deal with it, there’s a good chance that you can then begin to create something real and lasting together. Often, fears crop up in a relationship because a person wants to deal with those doubts and move past them. If you can be a steady, reassuring partner that isn’t pushing too hard, while he deals with what’s scaring him, you two just might build a foundation together.

It is necessary that you make your presence felt and should not become dormant. You should not at all indulge in verbal or physical abuse. You need to make yourself a little strong and be the voice of reason when the situation is chaotic. Be calm and listen to all that he has  to say and offer all that will help the situation, even if it is simply sympathy that you can offer.
© 2018 Condé Nast. All rights reserved. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement (updated 5/25/18) and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement (updated 5/25/18) and Your California Privacy Rights. Glamour may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast. Ad Choices
When he got back, I told him that I was going to stay the week at my parents house. That I wanted him to spend time at our apartment without me there. I could tell he was starting to feel terrible for how he was treating me. I was being incredibly patient and mature about the whole situation. That Friday night (4/20), I got back to our apartment to see him sitting on the couch. The look on his face said it all. He just couldn’t find the love any more. He cares about me but he could not reciprocate the feelings that I had for him. We talked for an hour, I said everything that I wanted to say. That I love him very much but I understand that I cannot force him to feel a certain way. I asked him why he had been bottling up his feelings of being unappreciated or taken for granted. These were two things that I could help fix and I can’t read minds. He said that he saw how busy I was this winter and didn’t want to add to my plate. Hello.. it takes two to tango.
On the other hand, if you want a relationship that will really stand the test of time and last forever, you need to make sure that he doesn’t start to lose interest in you and pull away. Once that starts to happen the process is sometimes irreversible and he will be lost forever, so if you suspect at all that he’s pulling away from you then you need to read this right now: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
First (and most important), promise not to judge the other. Then, privately write out scenarios that have tantalized you and place them in a box. Next time you're feeling hot and heavy, pull one out. Either jump right into fulfilling that fantasy or, if you need a little more time to adjust, ask what it is about that fantasy that your partner likes, Dr. Kort says. "Sometimes, its themes can be addressed in different scenarios that feel comfortable for both of you," he adds.
You want to let your man know that he can keep his freedom and still be in a committed relationship. However freedom doesn’t mean he can meet other women, you just mean he can still enjoy going out with friends and doing the things he enjoys doing. Women tend to think of relationships as leading to big changes such as buying a new house and starting a new family.
Owen Williams has been directing men in developing character for over twenty-five years. In the past he has led men’s groups and retreats as well as co-hosting a successful Radio show called GuyTalk. He is the author of The Relationship Revolution, which highlights the need to take both divorce and misery off the table. Check out Owen’s website relationshipexcellence.com.
When it comes to discussing the future, men can yak up a storm — but only if the topics are limited to our careers, sports, or the new kung-fu flick we want to go see this weekend. Shift the focus to relationships, and all speech function grinds to a halt. The throat gets parched. Dizziness ensues. We men start loosening our collars: Is it just me, or is it always this hot in here?
We human beings have a built in radar.  We pick up on body language and we also use our intuition.  We all have it…men and women.  In this case, these women are simply picking up on his lack of authenticity.  He’s not truly being himself.  He’s approaching these women from an energy of “what can I get away with?”  And these women intuitively know it.  We would typically call a guy like this a “player” however, another way to look at it is that he is not behaving in alignment with who he is inside and, what he is really wanting is an activity partner because it is safe.  He doesn’t want a relationship simply because he is not yet ready to let some of his walls down.

When he got back, I told him that I was going to stay the week at my parents house. That I wanted him to spend time at our apartment without me there. I could tell he was starting to feel terrible for how he was treating me. I was being incredibly patient and mature about the whole situation. That Friday night (4/20), I got back to our apartment to see him sitting on the couch. The look on his face said it all. He just couldn’t find the love any more. He cares about me but he could not reciprocate the feelings that I had for him. We talked for an hour, I said everything that I wanted to say. That I love him very much but I understand that I cannot force him to feel a certain way. I asked him why he had been bottling up his feelings of being unappreciated or taken for granted. These were two things that I could help fix and I can’t read minds. He said that he saw how busy I was this winter and didn’t want to add to my plate. Hello.. it takes two to tango.


I've dated two other men since him, plus ive had shorter flings, I've have had a lot of time to detach and relax and feel FAR less needy around him... I think things could be better this time and that I wouldn't be as emotionally reactive as I used to be with him, but he flat out says doesn't believe that. He used to tell me in the past that i had no idea how strongly our fights used to affect him - so now he doesnt want any chance of going back there and hes happy just keeping it light and friendly but distant. How can I get past his resistance about meeting? I believe that if we meet once or twice he will see things are better and calm down... but I can't get that initial meeting to happen
This article was exactly what I needed to read. It was straight to the point but very in depth with how simple it is to keep your man into you. Right now I could use the help with my current relationship. Eric Charles, if there was any way to get your insight on my current situation I would greatly appreciate that. Thank you for the great insight above.
I have known this guy, we will call him Steven for the sake of this article. So Steven and I have known each other for 4 years, we met in a small town in Alberta, and hit it off, he was 19 and I was 21. He said he had never met another girl that was so like him and he really liked me, but at the same time he partied and did things he shouldn’t have been doing so I never got into anything serious with him. Things ended up happening (He moved out of the staff house, I met someone else who was more down to earth and settled – no serious relationship became of this), we grew apart from each other (about 75% my fault and I regret this and I think this may be why he is so standoffish today) and then he got this possessive girlfriend and completely cut me out. I moved away and then a year later we started talking again. We then talked on and off for a couple years. He had finally gotten away from his crazy girlfriend and then got in to another relationship where he was cheated on, and then into another relationship where he was cheated on again, and on Christmas day too. So here we are, 4 years later and we still talk on and off and I am realizing that he is the first guy I have ever loved. I literally can’t stop dreaming about him and thinking about him and it’s driving me nuts. I know most would say to move on because he obviously doesn’t like me enough to try but he is also going through a really stressful time in his life right now and he lives across the country. I really just wish I could go up to him and tell him that I want to be together but he lives too far away. What should I text him without scaring him off. We were texting the other night but he stopped texting and then I haven’t heard from him since. Forgive me guys, my last legit date was June of 2014 (and before that was November 2012) so my experience in dealing with men is so bad haha I am also sorry if all of this is all jumbled and makes no sense.
Many women have quite simple and somewhat boring lives, so she might struggle to relate to you with your travel-filled lifestyle, amazing car or massive house that you told her about (for example). And if she struggles to relate to you because she sees you as WAY better than her, she will go cold and initiate the no contact rule on you. “He’s out of my league.” Then she initiates a breakup.

You may worry about the old adage, “Out of sight, out of mind,” and use that as a justification to reach out. The thought of him moving on and forgetting about you is too terrifying to bear. One little text won’t hurt, you reason. But, in this instance, it will hurt. If you want your ex back, it is important that you strictly adhere to the no contact rule.
I was with my bf for 4 months. A long distance relationship. He told me Xmas weekend that he had fallen in love with me. We have a huge communication barrier though. So recently it was getting to me and I went home upset.he knew that I was upset he said he’s sorry he is not capable of making me happy and he still is in love with me and is bummed but he doesn’t think we may be a match. I believe he is genuinely upset. Maybe the distance was taking its toll. I didn’t want it to end but now it has and I spoke to him on phone and wanted him to change his mind. I still have some things at his house. It now has been 2 days since I spoke with him. I intend to not contact him..in hopes that he will miss me. I mean, if you are in love as he claimed 3 weeks ago I would think not talking to me for more then 3 days will get to him. I also told him I would come get my things tomorrow but I have now chosen to skip that and make him wonder what I’m doing. I will go get my things in a week or 2. I’m sad cuz I love him too. Any suggestions/opinions would be appreciated!!

i have been dating this guy for almost six months now, we have not started having sex, because i told him i am not ready we have talked about it and he agreed. But of late i feel he is pulling away, sometimes he will not call or text me unless if i call him or text him first, he is always postponing our dates and its like he does not want to see me, when i ask him he says he is just busy with work or he could not call me because he had no credit in his phone, i don’t really know what to do? should i just leave him alone or i continue calling or texting him first all the time…, does it mean he has lost interest in me? please help ,
When men pull back, goddesses don't chase them; they don't try to figure men out; they don't play chess with men. They refuse to expend their precious energy in that way! Goddesses do feel their feelings; they do take care of themselves. They do communicate how they feel. And they do enforce personal boundaries by telling men what they want and don't want to feel in a relationship.
I am currently in 'no contact' - I haven't spoken to my ex boyfriend since the break-up, which was about three weeks ago. Our relationship was incredibly close: we were together for two years, we had exchanged promise rings and often talked about our future (marriage, etc.)... I love him so much. He is a genuinely lovely, altruistic and romantic guy and we share so much in common, in terms of interests and values. He used to say I made him so happy, content and that I was his best friend, as well as his girlfriend.
I’ve loved reading your articles and they’ve really helped me recognize what’s been tickling the corner of my self-awareness lately about my self-worth being directly related to why I always end up dating people that don’t treat me well and are emotionally unavailable. The one thing that I’m trying to figure out in this article and in my current situation is – how do you discern between a relationship (casual or exclusive) ending due to the other person being emotionally unavailable vs. being emotionally available and being turned off by your insecurities? At the end of the day, I recognize that both are directly related to my lack of self-love and that is what needs to be fixed, but in the former case, if I had previously fixed this it would have resulted in me ending the relationship as soon as I recognized the other person was emotionally unavailable/disrespecting me and in the latter it seems like the relationship would have had a chance at working out. I feel like it’s much easier to forgive myself for not holding boundaries and walking away when I knew I should have than for literally being the reason something potentially great didn’t work out..
Does he seem like he has one foot out the door? Like he’s not fully invested? When you bring up the topic of where things are going, does he avoid the question or say he’s not ready to talk about it? This can feel like he’s pulling away, but think about it: maybe he’s not pulling away. Maybe he’s standing still and you’re pushing. It might feel the same to you, but there’s a difference.
Been trying to slowly get my long distance ex back since January, and we’re on speaking terms again now, and even though that’s a huge step forward, I still have doubt. He’s always been a kind of distant person, and since he first reached out to me like 2 months back, I have initiated all conversations since then. I’m suspecting that’s what you call the hot and cold-treatment? Still, I really wanna get him to open up and finally realize that he loves me after all. If y’all have any more tips, I’d love to hear them.
×