Hello. Things moved very fast for my ex and I. We moved in together after only a couple months and a couple months after that we found out I am pregnant. I am almost five months pregnant and he broke up with me two weeks ago. I moved out and am living with my mom until I can find a place of my own. Initially I begged him to give us another chance and said we could work it out and he said he has enough and that he quit caring. 90% of it was my fault. I was so stressed out and nervous that I was taking it out on him. He started getting more distant and drinking a lot more. How long should I wait to tell him I now realize that most of this was because of me and I’m sorry. I honestly see what I was doing wrong and would like him to know I realize that and want to fix it. Being pregnant just adds even more stress to the situation. I truly do think we could get passed this but he doesn’t want anything to do with me right now..
If I were you ... I would find someone more like YOU. Someone who takes their time out to travel a distance to see their loved one. Someone who is faithful and won’t leave their boo or their friends to hook up with someone else. And someone who cares enough to write a blog on here about it. I hope for ur sake, u don’t contact this person ever again and be very brief if they contact you. Because everything u just stated seemed like a full circle and it will continue to happen because all this guy will ever think about u is ... “well I messed up before and he took me back. So I guess a few more won’t hurt.” But it has. He has lost respect for u. So either ignore him until he really realizes that he has lost you .... or just try to find someone a little more serious and warm hearted as yourself. Good luck to u. And I wish u the best.
Adam, can you, please, respond shortly to us, the ones we posted replies in here? At least a quick guidance about what you think the missing point of the big picture is in each of us situations! I don’t want to post a reply again on you tube. I just bought your book and another program, but until I will have the time to go through the entire thing and figure myself out WHERE I did wrong/or WHERE HE doesn’t pick up the pace, I could really use your educated smell that says it as it is! My guy is at work every time I run into him…he is Police, yeah, Mr. Police, but he is NOT ashamed to squeeze his head after me though, he just wanna make sure I don’t see him lately after he pulled off…so I don’t think he is not making the move bc the “work thing”….am I missing anything?
Alex Sandra Myles is qualified as a Yoga teacher, Reiki Master, Teacher of Tibetan Meditation, Dragon Magic and a Spiritual coach to name just a few. Alex has no intention to teach others on a formal basis for many years to come. Instead she is collecting qualifications along with life’s lessons. One day, when the time is right, Alex will set up a quaint studio, in a quirky crooked building where she will breathe and appreciate the slowness of those days as life is just way too busy right now! Reading and writing has always been one of Alex’ passions. With one book already published, she intends to have a collection out there, each book different, yet with the same intention of helping others along the more difficult paths in life. Alex likes to consider herself as a free spirit rather than a commitment-phoebe. Trying to live as aligned to a Buddhist lifestyle as is possible in this day and age, she just does not believe in ‘owning’ anything or anyone. Based on the theory that we ‘cannot lose someone that was not ours to lose’ she flails through life finding joy and magic in the most unexpected places. Mother to one 20 year old daughter and three adorable pups appreciates that some of the best moments in life are the 6am forest walks watching the dogs run, play and interact with one another and with nature.
So I went back to doing what I was doing. I focused on myself, I had fun, I spent time with friends, I did a lot of writing, I traveled, I discovered so many things about myself. I felt happier and better than ever before, all the pieces in my life were finally clicking… and then at the very end of the summer, he reached out to me and after hours of talking, he asked me out. Our first date was seven hours long and we got married a year to the day later!
Finding a spouse using pornography is a top reason couples seek counsel, but it shouldn't be overreacted to or pathologized, Dr. Kort says. First of all, sex addicts only represent 3-6% of the population, so it's unlikely your man is one. Plus, because childhood experiences influence sexuality as an adult, people are very idiosyncratic about what turns them on, Dr. Kort says. "So no woman can, nor should be, everything to a man."
I really love him. I just want to hear from him. Some of the reasonings we broke up include he felt unappreciated, he wasn’t “getting” happy, he’s bored with the relationship because all we do is sit around, which I immediately told him that’s not fair and I always try to get him to do things and said I know. But a few more reasons he’s told me, he wants to be around someone positive, and I’ll admit I haven’t been in the best shape lately. I lost my job, I’ve been going through family issues, and friend issues. I always am first to tell him everything. I can understand why this is what could push him away. He is a very easy go free kind of guy. He also told me “I’m not what he wants in a girlfriend” of course all these words hurt. I think about everything he’s said and it hurts. Do I believe them? Slightly.
I’m kind of having the same problem but I’ve given him like 3 months of space should I keep waiting I want to waste all my time waiting on him but I really really like him even lives in Canada and I live in FL we wanted to make it work and eventually move closer to where the other is but then after a very close father figure passed away he started distancing himself more and more we’ve known eachother for 3 almost 4 years :(
Julie, i’m glad you responded to my comment. Thank you! i needed a perspective of a third person, which you did n i really appreciate it. What you said does make sense, we had indeed just met. i only wished i had stayed longer to get to know him better. but my family said they needed me and I moved without even thinking twice. Funny thing is, after i did move, my mom was like she felt sad for me that i moved quitting my job and all and that i should’ve stayed back if i wanted to. i was like in my mind, are you serious?! lol
I would suggest that you try to stay focused and pick yourself up from this first. She may have the 'pick of the litter', but keep in mind that she did love you through the period you were together and probably still does have certain feelings for you. However, because she is in the new relationship with the other guy which is 'novel', she definitely has taken a stronger interest there at this point because its still a new thing. Work on improving yourself now because if ever there comes a point where you and her cross paths, you would want to be in the position to make a strong impression and to test her true feelings with the other boyfriend she's now with.
He broke up with me last week because he didn't feel it was right anymore. He said didn't love me anymore. He didn't imagine me in his future anymore. He said he hasn't been feeling the same feeling from when we started dating for two months. He didn't tell me right away because he wanted to love me. He wanted to believe he loved me. He said he wished he loved me and that we worked out. He apologised to me for not feeling the same way anymore.
When you miss a person, it’s a sign that you’re truly emotionally invested in that person; and that their absence in your life isn’t something that you find easy to bear. And if you want to remind your partner of just how significant you are in his life, then this article is for you. There is no denying that there is a certain passion that builds up inside of a person whenever you long to be with your significant other. It’s a lot like the effect of withdrawal that a lot of addicts will go through. When something that you love gets taken away from you, then you get a feeling of incompletion and unfamiliarity.
On Monday, I brought up the other girls name and it ended up in a big argument. I have major trust issues now after what has happened but he doesn't understand! The same girl is working with him AGAIN. He has since called it off with me and has started messaging her again. He says I have pushed him too far this time and I am stressing him out with mentioning things that have happened. That I ruin everything and there is no going back.
I’m doing NC (although difficult as we will see each other around the area but will limit to smiles and nods and hello) and we have a lot of shared friends on social media. I don’t have any specific questions but wondering if there’s a uniqueness with the daughter angle when and if I decide to contact her? I know a big part of any new relationship will be for the daughter to see my positive changes and not just my ex.
It would be a good idea to fact find a bit more about her current situation (from mutual friends, etc), such as whether she may be seeing anyone, if she's going through a rough time, or anything that may be a reason for her hot/cold attitude towards you. There's also a chance that she is facing internal conflict between meeting you and getting reminded of both good and bad times from the past.
It’s always nice to know when the man you’re in love with misses you whenever you’re not together. And so you try to do a few things here and there to make sure that he really feels your absence whenever you’re not spending time with one another. You’re trying all the tricks of the trade; but you still don’t get the sense that he misses you when you’re not around. What else is there to do? You thought that absence would make his heat grow fonder, but you’re not doing it right somehow. You’re not getting the effect that you want and it’s really confusing you.
James program centers around what he refers to as the "Hero Principal". He has truly figured out the signals and phrases a man "needs" to hear and feel to trigger his commitment phase. JB put together a presentation video that discusses many of the challenges you're going through right now and things you can do, starting immediately, to dramatically improve the way you understand men and the pathway to commitment.
Right now I am dealing with this myself. My boyfriend has, admittedly, got a lot going on right now. He said he’s not going to be able to get together for several days. I was irritated and unfortunately I let myself get angry with him. But now I’ve cooled down and I am sticking to my guns and NOT contacting him. I did send him a good morning text because I always do that, and he responded, but that’s it. I plan to be unavailable tonight if he calls me. I made plans to get together with a friend tomorrow night. I am going to give him MORE space than he wants…
Since you've already started to push her away with your actions after the breakup, the best thing you can do right now is to give her some space and try to figure out on your own what caused her to end the relationship. If it was a negative aspect of you that made her lose feelings or give up on the relationship, use this time to work on yourself so that you'll be able to reach out as an improved person down the road to see if things can be rebuilt from there.
Send her a letter. Girls also love letters, because they take a lot of time and you have to express your feelings. Start off by saying something like: "I know this letter doesn't fix what's broken between us, and maybe it never will. But I want you to know that I care deeply about you, and I always will. That part has never changed. The part that's changed is that I realize how stupid I was to let you go."
I hope you can help me with this. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 months now. Things started out great but the last couple of weeks I’ve been kind of moody and on edge due to stressing over finding a job. This weekend I tried to get him to stay with me but he said he would have to work, but wasn’t sure about Saturday due to a possible lack of a ride. So I asked him if I could pick him up Saturday or if he wanted to wait to see me till Sunday. He told me he would just see me Sunday that he didn’t know if he had stuff to do Saturday. Is it possible that I’ve been pushing him away and he’s wanting space or looking to break up with me, or am I just over thinking this whole thing?
Probably start by an apology and try to get her to rationalize things through your point of view. If she doesn't want to and insists that she's unhappy still and wants to leave, you could either try going up to her once your exams end and make it up to her, or consider walking away because she wasn't understanding enough to your situation and only wanted what was best for herself emotionally.
If she has you blocked, avoid doing anything that gives her further reason to push you away, such as stalking, or pestering her. Unfortunately, in these circumstances, no contact will have to continue until she forgives you or lets some of the negative emotions go and unblocks you. Her reaction also seems clear that she's not ready to face you yet and is still mad at you. Until then, anything else you do will only cause more anger and resentment from her.
He was my bestfriend for a while and then we found out that we actually love each other so we dated for a few months and then he told me that we should go back to being bestfriends to protect what we have because we can never be together or get married due to our religious beliefs.. when we started doing that he was already talking to another girl who follows the same religion as him and i got jealous and got into many fights with him about that .. that lasted for about 2 months and then he got sick from my craziness and told me that we should be just regular friends not even bestfriends and we shouldn’t text everyday or call each other unless there is something important.. that was about a month ago .. i begged him to become bestfriends again i talked alot and tried everything i could do but it was no use .. yesterday i talked to him about it again and he told me that being just friends is his final decision ans he won’t change his mind and i should act that way and just let it flow .. i hate the fact that he’s in control and that it was his decision to be just regular friends. Moreover, he and that other girl became really close I’m not sure if they are dating or not but i know that they talk and hang out alot .. we go to the same college so i see them together alot .. whenever he sees me he acts normal as regular friends .. what should i do to go back into being bestfriends again ? What should i do to win him back after he said that he already moved on? I’m not sure if the other girl is a rebound or everything between them is real also.
Hello! So I've given her (and myself) a bit short of a month of space/no contact after a dreadful first week of the "desperation phase" as I call it. And now, I've tried messaging her again and thankfully she still replies. But I think my mistake is that I brought up what went wrong (it was never perfectly clear why we broke up) after a few days of casual conversation (in which she talks coldly towards me, btw). She also clearly stated she doesn't like talking to me anymore AND she hates me now. What do I do?
Peter discovered that if he wanted to talk with his wife, he would get the best results if he asked from a stance of self-respect. He tried asking if she would meet him for coffee. She replied, "Sure!" In fact, the groveling and self-deprecation that Peter had learned as a child were the opposite of what his wife wanted. The more confidently he addressed her, the more positively she responded.
HW (Helen), I'm so happy to hear those books and resources were helpful to you in a difficult time. I'd have to know more about the relationship to give you a more confident answer but if you feel like there was a big enough bond between you in the first place, then you could always try sending this letter. Worst case scenario, he doesn't respond and you've got a clear answer so that you can move on. Hope this helped!
Yes!!! I made this mistake with my boyfriend when he said he wanted some space and instead i just kept pushing and pushing to fix things. Everything just got worse. It’s absolutely torture to try to not interact with the person you love but if he is having doubts, bugging him will prob make him pull away more and if he is having doubts in the first place maybe things aren’t meant to be. My whole philosophy is that if someone doesn’t enjoy being with me then I don’t want to be with them either.
I been dating this man for 1yr he has pulled away from me 3x. The first two times I felt like I did something wrong to him cuz I never had any man pulled away from me before it was new and I seeked for answers. Right now I’m going through it which is the 3rd I reached out to him so he can see I care but its something that for us women need to get use to if we want our men in our life’s I respect him and my best way to cope with it its to… Read more »
The good news is not only is this common—but there’s a way to handle this tricky situation effectively. After all, when you first enter a relationship, there’s sure to be plenty of new boyfriend advice from your friends, your family and your co-workers. But of all of these words of wisdom, the one you want to take the most seriously are the tactics that stop a man from withdrawing from your relationship. How come? As experts explain, sometimes the way a woman communicates her feelings to her partner may make him distance himself even more.
Some statements in this article are right some are not really applicable in my situation. I have two potential lover in the future trying to get me but I haven’t decided which one because thet need to show me something first and of course I don’t give those things they want. Suddenly both of them were pulling away and not gave much attention as before, that time I waited and even no clue at all what have had happened. I tried not to put any assumption and put blame on myself, tried to relax and had fun with friends. Two months, then I just shoot the questions to both. I don’t care, if they’re not interested please don’t block my door. “You okay? Are you not interested in me anymore? You mad at me or something?”.. One got angry and said that I am the one who becomes distant and not talking to him, in fact I was just giving him space. We had argument and he left. The other guy said sorry, he didn’t give any reason, he just said sorry and but coming back more to me, giving more attention bigger and sweeter than before. He said he feels wanted by me, and now I know which one to choose. So the point is just speak up and see his reaction. Let it naturally, if you mad and become uncomfortable just say it. Plenty fishes in the sea, with patients you will know that he’s the one. A feeling without pressure or hideous love game. Goodluck!
This is where a man’s ego can get in the way. Instead of listening to what a woman is saying and seeing her point of view, men at times will start to defend themselves. Men often think they are just being attacked, and so they immediately go into a defensive mode. Instead, repeat her position back to her by saying: “So you feel I should spend more time with you.” You’re not necessarily agreeing with her, but she will feel heard.
Hello! So my ex boyfriend broke up with me officially 16 days ago. We're both 27, by the way. 10 days prior he told me that he needed time alone and that he was not in a good place. I was supposed to meet him that day (we live in different cities, but only one hour apart), and I asked if I could still come, or if he never wanted to see me again. He said that he never said that, but he would prefer not to see me for at least a few days. I texted him two days later saying that I understand and he should take his time and he responded with thank you xx. I did not reach out for 10 days and then I texted him asking him to tell me what was on his mind. He replied instantly and said that it's not my fault and that he feels he can not be in a relationship right now. I asked for an explanation and to tell me what was going on in his life, he said he didn't want to talk in detail, it was about the way he felt in general, work, the kid (he has an 8 year old son) and that I never did anything wrong. He apologised and I said take care. I never texted him, we met on tinder and had been dating for 5 months. I met his entire family, his close friends and he met mine. My birthday was two weeks before the break and he brought me a heart necklace with diamonds on it (it took him a while to find a present he liked), I know he has feelings for me, he said so himself, but I am so confused. A part of me says he will be back, another one feels he will not, I just don't know. Should I add his best friend's girlfriend on Facebook? She did tell me her Facebook, but then this happened and I did nothing. I know his friends and family like me. We were good together but the last time he was a bit distant.
It is not just a job for a man to make a woman feel special; women have to make men feel special too. Show your appreciation for things he does such as his DIY projects, when he’s made dinner or a promotion at work. You can take him out for a meal or to the football game every now and again or even do simple things such as give him a neck massage after a long hard day at work.
The trick is to give him plenty of space and always keep him wanting more. Even if you’re in a long distance relationship or you’ve been with your guy for years upon years, you should still let him miss you every now and then. Trust me, it’ll work wonders for your relationship. You shouldn’t HAVE to do all of this with guys but the sad fact is, you do with most of them.
My girlfriend of two years has left me again (after doing the same thing about two months prior). The last time I had began to move on even though I really didn't want to. She contacted me and said she was shocked by how fast I was moving on and she proceeded to make me believe she wanted me back. Two weeks ago she did the same again - ended it after telling me she "hates me", doesn't love me or fancy me. It's all very out of the blue and I'm acting desperate and needy right now, it's awful. I feel like I'm going mad and I just don't know what to do. I love her but I feel like it's a lost cause.
The thing to realize is that people with great relationships don’t have the great relationships because they know great relationship secrets or psychological loopholes of the male mind. Fundamentally, people in the best relationships all have one thing in common: they don’t have relationships with people who are not a good match for them. They don’t let them into their life.
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