We spoke this past Sunday after not talking for two days and we both agreed on being friends and taking it slow. We both agreed that it didn't feel right to just say bye to each other like that and that we both mean way too much to each other. She doesn't wanna deal with the stress of relationship expectations right now. I just need to earn her trust again and take it day by day. I dont think she doesn't want this. She just wants to be 100% sure. The same way she's gone about us the last 7 months which sucks because all that trust I earned was somewhat lost. I told her if we gotta start over I'll do it. Im just happy she actually heard me out. Felt like she really did miss me and wanted to work things out. She just wants to be sure it'll never happen again.
Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?
Im also experiencing this right now. I’ve been talking to this guy for a month. He texts and calls me everyday and after two weeks he said that he is falling in love with me. I told him that if I want to commit it should be with someone who is serious and for long term. He said he’s looking for the same too. And so we decided to meet and spend the day together. We were so happy and compatible. I felt safe and comfortable with him so I decided to get steady with him. Even it was time for me to go he’s still the same. Sweet and caring he even said that he wants to come and visit my home. Few more days and texting and nothing is changed he’s still the same guy I met so I was really worried when suddenly he stopped communicating with me. I let the 4 days passed without asking him what’s the problem. As I was so worried and confused I texted him like this ” I’m afraid my bf has been abducted by Pokemons. Do you know anything about this?” Just to make the convo light. Then he replied ” who are you?”. That moment I felt like my heart was torn into pieces. Here I was, so worried but then he just don’t care. I’ve waited a few days more and I asked him what’s the problem? He said that he’s been thinking if he’s the right guy for me cuz he has no direction. He doesn’t know what he wants in life and asked me if he is someone that I would like to spend my life with. He said that he love me but he’s too scared. I told him that love is a gamble. And I gambled for him and that I was really hurt by his actions. I even said that I thought we could achieve what we want together, but he didn’t say anything. I ended up the convo by saying that I will always pray for him and I wish that someday he would find what he wants in life and I hope he could find someone who would make him happy. He did not reply . So I guess that’s it. He pulled back and im not sure if I did the right thing. I think that he doesn’t want me anymore but I still love him and would be willing to figure out things together but it was him who gave up. I asked myself if I want someone like that I think I don’t. So yeah we broke up.
You didn't take control of the pace of the relationship. You didn't let him miss you. You gave all of yourself to him right from the start and there was nothing to miss. A lot of women assume that just because a guy really wants to keep seeing them, they should do this. However, my advice is to put the brakes on. Let him have space. Let him yearn for you a little bit, because that space is going to allow you to get to know each other, instead of just giving in and seeing each other every single night. You guys are still strangers and then suddenly the entire relationship just burns up into flames. He realizes, maybe it's moving a little bit fast and he wants to slow things down, and then you get mad and the whole thing ends. We don't want that to happen. So, again, move slower than he wants.
Ok so me and my ex broke up 4 months ago. I did 35 days of no contact and she tried to text me 4 times during that time. Eventually her best friend texted me and told me that my ex was really upset and missed me so the next time my ex tried to contact me I responded. She said sorry for ending our relationship and that she wanted things to go back to the way they were before. However, she did not explicitly say that she wanted us to get back together. I chose to doubt that, but I wanted to get back together so I forgave her and we have been in constant contact for 2 months texting every day for at least an hour and she seems closer in person than she did before. Recently I learned that her best friend told my ex that I was trying to get back together with her, but she has been acting the same if not closer than before. Should I take this as a sign that she does want to get back together or should I still try to find out more?
Reason #4. If you really managed to get back together right now, do you think your relationship would last? It is very unlikely. Neither of you would have changed your behaviors and bad habits. You will just repeat past mistakes. You might be able to force yourself to behave differently for a few weeks but then when things settle down, you go back to your old habits. Then you break up and you will then need to start the grieving process all over.
Make sure you give the one you are with the proper time, attention, and affection. Don’t make her question why you aren’t texting back as quickly as you used to or why every date night has turned into “Netflix and Chill”. Don’t be lazy and don’t take her love for granted. If you stop making the effort, she will be tempted to leave your dumb @$$ when she finds someone who will.
Hi, I just want to ask for advice. I've been broken up with my ex for over a month now. Fresh from the breakup, we still talled daily and met up at least once a week. During that month, she acknowledged that she still loved me but she still wants to remaon single because she is not in a safe place to give commitment. I, being the clingy dude I was, tried winning her back, even calling her over the phone. She would still answer when I call but is still firm on her decision. Finally last week, she said to me straight up that she had enough of me always bringing up the past and says she doesn't want to talk to me anymore so that I could move on and that I should forget that I stood any chance of getting back together with her. However, she hasn't blocked me on social media and my cellphone number. I'm not so sure how to feel right now, or if there is even a way to save the relationship. She said she broke up with me because I was too clingy, there would be times where we would have an argument because sometime I would see her online and would not give even a hi to me, even though she sais she doesn't really know why we broke up. Anything I can do to save the situation?
I been dating this man for 1yr he has pulled away from me 3x. The first two times I felt like I did something wrong to him cuz I never had any man pulled away from me before it was new and I seeked for answers. Right now I’m going through it which is the 3rd I reached out to him so he can see I care but its something that for us women need to get use to if we want our men in our life’s I respect him and my best way to cope with it its to… Read more »
#9 Give them plenty of space and freedom. One reason guys don’t want to commit is because they often feel like it’ll trap them. They want their freedom and space so if they don’t even become official with someone, they’ll keep it. That’s how they think, anyways. Show him that you’re more than happy to give him that space and he’ll be more willing to commit. [Read: 10 obvious hints guys give when they need more space]
Me and my ex were together for about 3.5 years living together, have been broken up for nearly 5 months now with a 9 month old baby i moved out completely. The relationship did become toxic on both ends. We broke up because he had cheated on me and i stayed with him but didn't want to and was felt pressured so i never got through the pain he caused and did not forgive him for it i ended up being depressed as a result we did fight a lot. I found out that he started talking to her again after about 4-5 months so i decided to leave him. for about 3 weeks i didn't talk to him unless it had to do with our child. After we talked fine seen each other a few times and then in between that we did have a fair few arguments due to the present feelings and hurt being there where i called him a bad father and he did this he did that why he doesn't do this why he doesn't do that he hasn't tried to fight for his family blah blah you get the picture. there have been times where he has told me he loves me and he wants to change but hasn't acted on it. he has been out most weekends partying drinking and was gambling every day for 4 months. he has told me he loves me and the woman he loves left him with his child and i think apart of him resents me for taking his child away i also think that he is bit depressed and not sleeping properly and was drinking a lot. he has once come to me and asked for help and then shut me out. he believes that i need to work on myself and change and respect him before we move forward. He blames me for everything and thinks i should be the one to fight for him. i still want to be with him and believe things can be different i also told him that i won't get back with him unless things are different. he has stopped gambling for a month now i don't no the reasons to it. the last conversation we had he exploded at me because i brought up the other woman and why he was still talking to her and he told me i had no right and it wouldn't of happened if i never left him and that me not going back to him is giving her hope and she is beating me at my own game and then said if i want to be with him i can but i have to not bring his past up ever again. the conversation didn't end to well to him saying that he doesn't want to be with me or her and that we are over for good because i said i was quite happy without him. since then i chose not to talk to him for a whole month. i never returned his calls and he turned up the other day for 10 mins to see his daughter and left because he was busy. The month is now up and it is his first fathers day in 3 days i was just going to turn up and surprise him with his daughter i don't no if this is the best approach? i still haven't reached out to him what steps should i take from here? i have now forgiven him and have gotten fast all the hurt and pain he caused and still i am willing to give it another try.

Cheyenne Bostock is a Life & Relationship Expert & Author of two best selling self-help books. He is the founder of AskCheyB, LLC, a coaching firm that helps people discover their passion and purpose in life, and cultivate healthier relationships. Cheyenne started his coaching firm while living in a homeless shelter in 2011 and now has a following of more than 100,000 supporters who tune in for daily motivation and inspiration online. His work has been featured on Fox 4, ABC7, Arise TV, Huffington Post and he is a regular featured expert on The Bill Cunningham Show.


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This article is completely speaking to my current situation. It definitely seems like my guy is pulling away a little bit, still answering texts and things but very barely, not making plans to see me this weekend, etc., but all of the signs up until this point were that he was very into me. I tried reaching out to him a little more than I usually have been in response, but I’m going to pull back a little bit and give him the space he needs and let him come to me as this article says.
Now you might be wondering, how can I fix this and undo the damage? The answer is the same as above, just pull back, give him space, and focus on yourself. Working overtime trying to undo the damage caused by acting needy is still you acting needy. It’s you being desperate for his approval and for his love and affection. Guys hate feeling that sort of pressure from a woman, the feeling that they need to be a certain way or she will get upset.
a. Learning from the affair: Peter wrote out the series of misteps that he had allowed himself to take down the road to sexual betrayal. He listed what had motivated each step — and also what would have been far better options for responding to his concerns at each point in the pathway. He identified the specific situational, thoughts and feeling cues that triggered each step, and the alternative action he would take in the future in response to each cue.
You just started dating a new guy. You are in that honeymoon phase and everything is great. You are constantly complimenting him and giving him acknowledgment that he is wanted by you. Basically he loves hearing that you are interested in him. However, as time goes on things begin to change. You don’t compliment him as much because you don’t need to land him anymore. This is when the problems begin for him.
Me and my boyfriend of 2 years broke ip 1 month ago. I am 27 and he is 26. He is in the coast guard and he lives in Maryland and I am in NYC. We have been LDR since the beginning, but he only joined the Coast Guard 1 year ago. I have been doing No Contact for 3 weeks now. He was the one who broke up with me and after we broke up he was texting me days afterward nice and positive text messages. Since I have started NC he hasn’t reached out via text but still like some of my stuff on Social Media and is looking at it. We broke up because he felt like he loved me but wasn’t as in love with me anymore and that maybe we were on 2 different paths. He also said “maybe we can get back together one day. My parents got back together after they broke up,” my question is is 30 days of NC good enough or should I go longer? I have been making positive changes in my life, but since things ended so positively I have been confused.
Answer: Remind him what he was chasing you for. Show him that just because he’s won over you doesn’t mean he gets to keep you. Instead of groveling and chasing him, turn the tables and make him work to get you back. If you remind him that you can be just fine without him, he’s likely to begin the hunt and chase all over again. [Read: How to keep a guy interested in 30 super sexy ways]
How to Give Someone Space Without Losing Them (Or Losing Your Mind) Here’s Why When He Pulls Away You Should Give Him Space The Real Reasons Men Don’t Text Back: The Ultimate “Do’s and Don’ts” Guide To Texting Here’s Exactly What To Do When He Says He Needs Space How to Make Him Miss You: 5 Ways to Have a Man Missing You Like Crazy He Says He Misses Me: What Does It Mean When He Says He Misses You?

You see men aren’t schooled in this department of life. We spend years going to grammar school and learning about math, science, history, and multitudes of other important topics, but we never really learn the most important one of all, relationships. Whether it’s the wooing stage, as in dating and attracting women, or the later stage, as in building incredible connections and experienecs together, nobody ever really teaches us the intricacies of a healthy relationship.


Im also experiencing this right now. I’ve been talking to this guy for a month. He texts and calls me everyday and after two weeks he said that he is falling in love with me. I told him that if I want to commit it should be with someone who is serious and for long term. He said he’s looking for the same too. And so we decided to meet and spend the day together. We were so happy and compatible. I felt safe and comfortable with him so I decided to get steady with him. Even it was time for me to go he’s still the same. Sweet and caring he even said that he wants to come and visit my home. Few more days and texting and nothing is changed he’s still the same guy I met so I was really worried when suddenly he stopped communicating with me. I let the 4 days passed without asking him what’s the problem. As I was so worried and confused I texted him like this ” I’m afraid my bf has been abducted by Pokemons. Do you know anything about this?” Just to make the convo light. Then he replied ” who are you?”. That moment I felt like my heart was torn into pieces. Here I was, so worried but then he just don’t care. I’ve waited a few days more and I asked him what’s the problem? He said that he’s been thinking if he’s the right guy for me cuz he has no direction. He doesn’t know what he wants in life and asked me if he is someone that I would like to spend my life with. He said that he love me but he’s too scared. I told him that love is a gamble. And I gambled for him and that I was really hurt by his actions. I even said that I thought we could achieve what we want together, but he didn’t say anything. I ended up the convo by saying that I will always pray for him and I wish that someday he would find what he wants in life and I hope he could find someone who would make him happy. He did not reply . So I guess that’s it. He pulled back and im not sure if I did the right thing. I think that he doesn’t want me anymore but I still love him and would be willing to figure out things together but it was him who gave up. I asked myself if I want someone like that I think I don’t. So yeah we broke up.

KarenLee Poter currently hosts an Internet talk show, The KarenLee Poter Show, and blog about dating, sex, love, and everything in-between. KarenLee recently published, A Cougar’s Guide To Getting Your Ass Back Out There, a book about her experiences and insights into dating again. Poter is also an expert in large age gap relationships, as she’s been in a committed relationship for the past 7 years with a man several years her junior. The KarenLee Poter Show commands a worldwide audience, receiving nearly 125,000 views per month, and KarenLee’s writing has been featured on multiple blog sites.


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Throughout our courtship, I was utterly under the control of my ex-girlfriend. I let her walk all over me. She would call me at 4 A.M. and only stop calling when I answered. Being in college, I decided to drive down south where she lived to see if our relationship could work. I asked Mary to wait for me while I figured it out. She didn’t want to. Obviously.
This is probably the most comprehensive free road map on how to get back with an ex available on the internet today. Our goal is to provide you with a free resource that can enable you to know exactly what you need to do, no matter what situation you encounter; to prove to the person you love that you’re the one that can make them happy in the long haul and to help them fulfill their dreams!

SIDE NOTE: One thing I want you to see here is that to your ex or any other girl, your DMV/ perceived superiority is as high as your behavior makes it, and is only partially related to your job, income, looks etc. This is why no guy reading this has any excuse for not being able to become the kind of guy his ex wants for a relationship. Enticing her back quickly into a new relationship/fresh start can be achieved by following my 6 step program.

Then, switch things up by missing a phone call or two back-to-back. Your guy will be wondering where you are and what happened to your daily contact. He will start to realize that getting those daily text messages and phone calls are a part of his day that he doesn’t want to live without, and he’ll be dying to be in a committed relationship with you!

Hello I can imagine your going through a hard time trying to understand this guy. He’s confusing you because he’s confused himself. He has distanced himself because this is what guys do when they are thinking if they want to be with you or not. This also shows how he doesn’t care much about you and more about himself. He says these things like I miss you and all that stuff to make sure your still around for him as an option but does his words match his actions? If he missed you he woukd see you. Does he see you? No ? Then he’s not telling the truth he’s using words to keep you about for his own ego and loneliness. There’s a way u can find out if he wants to be with you or not and that’s by ignoring him he sends u a msg like I miss you can I talk to u or just hello no mater what his msg says u say nothing. A woman’s silence shows and expresses your hurt more than your anger and words do. This also gives him time to properly miss you and it also stops you looking easy in his eyes men want a challenge they want to chase so give him what he wants and don’t feel bad about it either he hurt you did he care ? Sounds like he didn’t.
Similarly, Ive seen my brother go through something similar. He did the exact thing with his current girlfriend, he moved out for a week to retreat after a minor conflict, and she was so upset, leaving presents at the door and calling me to find out if he was ok etc. I had to tell her to stop and give him space. He came around, I didnt pressure him and didnt go into it much. But the up side is that he’s still with her now.
When we get so focused on the need for any one man, it’s easy to get blinded. That’s when we start making excuses for him that may in fact be relationship deal breakers for us. If what you want is an exclusive relationship, yet you keep seeing him if he wants something else for fear of losing him, you’re really only losing yourself and all that is important to you.
Through out the years I thought about him, and tried dating other people but it was never the same feeling I had, that I felt for him. I looked him up on Facebook and saw he was in a relationship and just had a baby, I left it alone but I’d check his Facebook every so often, this year I looked at it and he was no longer in relationship, it had been 8 years since we had spoken, I decided to send a message and he responded. I was so excited and seemed to be too, we exchanged numbers and soon were talking and texting everyday, he would send pictures and face time and we were catching up, this was in March. He told me that in December he and his baby’s mom broke up because she cheated on him, she had a long time friend that she moved into the house, because he needed a place to stay, but while he was at work she was heating on him with this guy, it went on for months and he felt like he was going nuts thinking this stuff was going on, but them saying he’s wrong, he finally saw that she was cheating and she kicked him out of the house and has this new guy living with her, they are still together.
Instead of worrying about whether he has feelings for you still or not, why not spend the time hanging out, having fun, flirting, and re-creating those feelings on your own accord? Emotions aren't set in stone and can easily waver, so it's up to you to take the first step in not letting what he thinks affect you, but doing something to try to get the result you want.
Look, I know how hard it is to not contact the one person on this earth you want to see and speak to more than anyone else. I fully get it. But just because we want something doesn’t mean it’s in our best interest to go after it. It’s like going to the gym. Sometimes it’s really hard to summon the strength to get yourself there, but you do it because your goal is to be fit and healthy. Here, your goal is to get your ex back and have a healthy, loving, mutually fulfilling relationship. That can only come about when you’ve taken time to gain clarity and perspective.
There are certain techniques to get him back again and you will learn them here. When someone tells you that you can use tricks to get him back you can often assume the worst. Of course no relationship should be built on deception and you should not have to trick someone to want to be with you. What I am talking about here are psychological tricks that we are unaware of. If you understand the way that the male psyche operates you will be able to change your behaviour in a positive way to make him more attracted to you.
Your ability to surprise your ex can make or break your chances of ultimately getting back together. In fact the element of surprise is so important in this process that when I’m asked how to get an ex back during one on one coaching sessions I sometimes simply answer surprise your ex! I obviously later go on to explain at great length why surprising an ex is important and how you should go about it!
I need advice. We met on match.com and only dated about 3 weeks but had a great connection from the very beginning. Plus we share a lot in common (we agree about a lot, graduated high school same year, kids are same age). But he broke it off because 1) we moved too fast (didn’t have sex but went further than we intended by date 2) and 2) we’re in different places in our lives – I’m going through a divorce and he’s been divorced for years. I’m devastated. We ended things amicably last week (I didn’t fight it, though I wanted to) and we haven’t been in contact. But he’s been back on match.com already. My question is, what are our chances for trying again in the future? Did moving too fast derail us completely?

Being part of a couple can be difficult, but the best relationship tips are really all about maintenance—keeping things fresh, finding time for each other, and coming up with ways to navigate the tricky ups and downs every partnership faces. Of course, it’s all easier said than done, so we’ve come up with 101 ways to make your relationship even better.
Right now, give him the space he has requested for and spend this time doing what his friend had advised (working on yourself and making changes to your life). You can't control the timing on when he reaches out to you, but the least you could do is show him that you're sincere about making it up to him and have made efforts in taking the first step forward. He may not forgive you entirely, but at least he knows you're sincere about fixing things and may decide to give things another shot.
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I know you feel hurt and you probably feel worthless right now because feel like your ex doesn’t want you. You are eager to feel loved and hopefully ‘My ex will know that I’m in another relationship and my ex will feel jealous, and will beg to come back.’ STOP. That’s not self-love. That’s called my-ex-is-still-the-center-of-my-universe. Everything you do is because you want to get your ex back. But actually, everything you do from now on, should be focused on yourself. 
My vibe was affected by stress of school and radiated out into other areas of my life without my realizing…granted my ex never communicated how I was making him feel, but the breakup made me realize what had happened and how i can get those stress levels down and vibe up…I am prepared it is too late…he will never be able to share those vibes. But if he doesn’t hes also missing out because I feel good, a little sad it didn’t work out, but good overall.
Thank you, Ray. I needed a male’s perspective, I’m hurt & all my girl friends are angry, so I can relate to almost all of these posts. I have been with a man that “needs his space” & needs a woman to be understanding about it. It’s hard for me because although we have been in a relationship for just a week over a year, I’ve been in love with him for 20. We had a 2 year off & on thing back then & I was very young & I did not understand him back then. Although I understand him now, it still hurts, & the fear is always there, nagging at me, bringing up thoughts like, is he wanting to see someone else? Am I the one pushing him away with my feelings? Why does he not love me the way I love him? Always wondering if there is someone else, but never really believing it. He told me from day one (a year ago) how he was, & I guess I decided back then I loved him enough I could handle his occasional distance & that I had enough love to push through it.
Hi, He sounds as if he has a lot of his own insecurities and is deflecting them onto you. He is constantly trying to change you, and tell you that you aren’t enough. You sound to me as if you are not comfortable in being yourself around him. You can’t petend to be someone else to please jom forever, so picture this you are trying to adapt yourself to who he wanrlts and he is still finding flaws. Aren’t you tired already,? he is damaging your self-esteem. There is someone out there , who you may or may not have met, that will adore you flaws and all, bit you have to love yourself enough to know when you are being tolerated , and ” handled”, not loved. This guy you are with, needs you a lot more than you need him, be careful not to allow him to force you to change into someone nobody wants, so thy he can keep you all to himself, while he used you. By that, I mean an insecure, unhappy person that doesn’t feel worthy of anything.
This is a great article; really clearly illustrated how women pull away for different reasons. I can think of times when I just wanted some space, and I couldn't understand why my partner couldn't sense this and give it to me. I didn't appreciate that she probably thought there was something wrong and that she could help me feel better. I can also remember times when my partner pulled away and I assumed she just wanted space herself, only to realize later that she was hurt and I should have addressed it.
Spending Saturday morning in the soup kitchen or helping an elderly person carry his groceries may be all it takes to have him calling you girlfriend. In a recent British study, people rated potential sexual partners to be more attractive for a long-term relationship if they had altruistic qualities. "Giving back to others shows your good heart and integrity, and although they may not consciously think that far in the future, men are subconsciously assessing maternal traits in a woman to see what kind of mother she'd be," Kelman says.

I have been seeing a guy for just about a year. His job is giving him a lot of stress and he became much more distant. For a whole year, he never missed a good morning or night text. We never texted all day long as we are both busy but that one morning text we sent each other was just enough to let us both know we were thinking of one another. His stopped pretty abruptly. My initial reaction was to panic and I did in a way but didn’t let him see that. Last weekend he apologized for not texting me so much but to trust that he still loves me. I was a bit stumped because I never once verbalized anything about the non texting issue, so I wondered why he would say that. I asked him if he would prefer me not text him at all during the week ( which I never did anyway, only one morning text and maybe a “have a good afternoon”) and he said yes, unless it was important.


The glossy magazines that litter the newsstands do a real disservice to you all by defining beauty in such a narrow way. A quick flip through the pages and it’s boringly obvious that most of the models and celebrities featured in these magazines are really a variation on the same theme. The truth for us men, however, is that beauty is diverse and idiosyncratic. (Great news for you.) Some of us want the well-endowed woman, while others are repulsed by the surgically enhanced. Some of us want tall and slim, while others want short and curvaceous. Some of us want you to have some “junk in the trunk,” while others want it small and tight. There really is some truth to the saying, “There’s a lid for every pot.” The challenge for most women, however, is finding that fit.
I listen to your Video. ..How to Make Him miss you. I really wish I would have listen to your video before hand I did everything wrong because I wasnt aware. Well low and behold he broke up with me and it hurt pretty badly for 4months. I can see in his eyes it hurt him to do that. We both had strong feelings for each other and the Love making was on the top of the chart. Ive learned alot from now to then. He’s back in my Life and I truly Love him as if he never left were able to pick up from where we left off. I want this to work with him forever. I want him to be my last relationship.

I met this guy just 2 weeks ago and he was my dream come through….He is everything I needed In a man,he calls 5:30am everyday for the first week,and changed after we both had sex after our second date,now I will call him to tell him he has changed he keeps on saying he is busy…..Although he is the busy type ,but am just a little bit confused,was it the sex we had that got him pulled away, or his he really busy?each time I call him he will tell me he is going through some hard times now that we will talk wen things gets settled?should I stop calling him or still continue to call him?


Hey girl! so, Birsel-love, dear, while I’m no expert in the area of love, (I dont consider myself one at least) but, from women to women, from girl to girl, I would be of most happy to service you on my advice on this. Can I? May I? please? if so, then carry on, read, but honestly, if not, at least, at the bare minimum, would you mind considering this just a little? ‘kay? thank you, I appreciate your thoughtfulness, even if i don’t get to see you reading this, its a step.❤ ( WAY BELOW, AFTER THE DOT LINE, IS some expert ADVICE: check it out; she’s yrs married now)
You may have felt like you were in the honeymoon stage, but different people come out of it after different time periods, so he may have no longer been in that phase already. Some guys can be like this (especially if they haven't many relationships before), where they think too logically and realistically, and aren't able to actually put themselves into an emotional sense of understanding their female partners better. You might honestly want to consider moving on and dating someone else, because he has seemed to disconnected himself from you already, and may have even moved on the moment he broke up with you.
To think you can “make” someone want to be with you is illusory and will only lead to suffering and disappointment. The most important tip here is to be fully in the moment and truly OK with whatever the outcome is.  Let me reiterate that. Being OK no matter the outcome is the single most beneficial advice I can offer. Fixating on your ex, secretly wishing that he comes back to you, or worrying that you won’t be able to win him over will not be beneficial to you in the long run.
I have been seeing a guy for just about a year. His job is giving him a lot of stress and he became much more distant. For a whole year, he never missed a good morning or night text. We never texted all day long as we are both busy but that one morning text we sent each other was just enough to let us both know we were thinking of one another. His stopped pretty abruptly. My initial reaction was to panic and I did in a way but didn’t let him see that. Last weekend he apologized for not texting me so much but to trust that he still loves me. I was a bit stumped because I never once verbalized anything about the non texting issue, so I wondered why he would say that. I asked him if he would prefer me not text him at all during the week ( which I never did anyway, only one morning text and maybe a “have a good afternoon”) and he said yes, unless it was important.
I listen to your Video. ..How to Make Him miss you. I really wish I would have listen to your video before hand I did everything wrong because I wasnt aware. Well low and behold he broke up with me and it hurt pretty badly for 4months. I can see in his eyes it hurt him to do that. We both had strong feelings for each other and the Love making was on the top of the chart. Ive learned alot from now to then. He’s back in my Life and I truly Love him as if he never left were able to pick up from where we left off. I want this to work with him forever. I want him to be my last relationship.
Me and my boyfriend went on a break last Monday (17th). Since then he text me on the Tuesday(18th) asking if I was okay. I text him every day since that tuesday to see how he was. On Tuesday this week he text me saying he had made his decision, and that he couldn't do it anymore. After he text me this we met up and he broke up with me. I text him yesterday morning to check he slept okay. I read this article last night and started my no contact then. Now today as I haven't text him, he has text me. Advice?

Me and my BF have been dating a for a year in a long distance relationship( about 3 hours driving distance) . He does not like when guys hit on me via social and they leave comments under photos. I have told them to stop posting heart eyes and and even deleted them as friends. My ex broke up with me after one person has left 3 different comments over the last few months. I have no control over what others do and I don't know what else to do to get him to see that. I have made the mistake of contacting him day after day asking that we try to amend things, but he keeps repeating he is done and wishes me well. But finally today I came across this site and decided to give him the space hes asked for so that he may come back to me and so he has time to think things through without me being "Needy or desperate". It has only been 5 days and he is still replying to some text but refuses to speak to me over the phone. I am going crazy, especially since we were coming up on our "Official" 1 year anniversary in 2 weeks. I will do my best for the 30 day no contact. I want to be with him, get married, start a family and live a great life together. Hopefully this advice works. Wish me luck.
I have been dating a very successful professional, who also does a lot of additional work in non-profit and education. We went on 7 dates over 8 weeks, and he was always romantic and generous on these dates ie. expensive restaurants, shows, serenading me on his guitar, flowers, telling me he was in love with me and addicted to me, flirty texts… After the 5th date, I noticed that he messaged me less frequently and sometimes took days to respond. He mentioned that he was going through some stressful family stuff, and I assumed that it was related to a family illness. On our 7th date, he told me that his parent had collapsed a few days before and was in hospital from an illness that was related to addiction. He told me that he was extremely stressed because it was bringing up old issues for him, and he warned me that when he is stressed, he pulls away from everyone and needs time and space alone. A week before Christmas, he told me that his father had been admitted into a clinic and that he was concerned that his father would not commit to the program. He was sick with the flu and would sometimes message me just before midnight to say hello and that he had just gotten off work. He did not ask to see me, but he was taking time to see his friends. I messaged him now-and-then with appreciative texts, to which he responded positively, but then would not continue the conversation. By the fourth week of not seeing him, I was at the end of my rope, and I messaged him that I understood that he was going through a lot and that he was also busy with work, but that I would like to meet him to catch up because our communication was not what it used to be, and it had been 4 weeks since we had seen each other. He replied that he was aware that he was pulling away, and that he needed some more time to himself as he was struggling to find grounding. He told me that the family issues were still ongoing and causing a lot of stress. I said he would love to see me in the future but that right now he needed time alone. He told me that he understood if that was unacceptable to me, but that he hoped that I would wait for him and give him a little more time. I replied that I had been hurt and confused over the holidays because we did not see each other, but that I understood he needed space and time. I appreciated that he gave me some clarity and I would like for us to communicate better. I told him that I respected, cared for him and wished him happiness. Since our last text conversation 2 weeks ago, neither of us have reached out to one another. I’m finding it really hard to not see or talk to him, but from what I have read in relationship articles including this one about giving a man space when he is pulling away from stress, it is the best course of action. Some days I am so busy myself that I don’t really have time to think about him, but when I do, I become quite depressed. Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated…
This particular relationship advice is for women exclusively. Big mistake women make is thinking that their man can read their thoughts and should “just know” when they are angry, hungry, tired or upset about something that happened at work.  Even the most intuitive man cannot know what’s inside your head.  Use your communication skills to express your feelings.  It will make everything easier and you won’t end up harboring resentment because your man had no idea you wanted him to pick up pasta for dinner instead of pizza.  

The trick is to give him plenty of space and always keep him wanting more. Even if you’re in a long distance relationship or you’ve been with your guy for years upon years, you should still let him miss you every now and then. Trust me, it’ll work wonders for your relationship. You shouldn’t HAVE to do all of this with guys but the sad fact is, you do with most of them.
James program centers around what he refers to as the "Hero Principal".  He has truly figured out the signals and phrases a man "needs" to hear and feel to trigger his commitment phase. JB put together a presentation video that discusses many of the challenges you're going through right now and things you can do, starting immediately, to dramatically improve the way you understand men and the pathway to commitment.
Okay so I'm a week into no contact and I've been ignoring his messages (he messaged me for the first 3 days and now has stopped) but loads of other articles and advice have told me that ignoring texts could make it worse and that I should reply casually but never reach out to them first. But on here im being told that I can't reply whatsoever. Help I really don't wanna mess this up
I wish i was strong enough to follow these steps. I feel so lost. My fiance cheated & got her pregnant, right after i miscarried. I didnt even know i was pregnant & when it happened I had just found out about her & she was 4months along. He says he loves me & was stupid & ruined everything & i deserve better,but he has no choice but to stay with her to raise the baby even if he doesnt want to. He says its life & he has to deal with his mistakes. I can never be with him but we have known each other for over 20 yrs & i miss my friend, he wont talk to me & the last time we did he looked at the ground the whole time, just saying hes a pc of crap & he ruined our life & our family. I know hes unhappy, i can feel it in my soul & im sure everyone thonks im nuts, but i honestly believe hes hating his life. I love him so much & i can never be with him again after such betrayal but will he ever forgive himsrlf & come back, i miss my friend so much & it hurts me to know hes unhappy & its very painful he wont talk to me.
First off, before I tell you what happened, I would like to point out that my recent ex-girlfriend and I are both college students. She is a freshman, and I am a junior, with a two-year age gap as well. I reside on-campus, and when she broke up with me, she did it in my dorm after cuddling me. When she broke up with me, she cried, and I knew that she was struggling to really go through with the decision. However, she still broke up with me in the end. I know why it happened and that it does have to do with the fact that we need to work on ourselves and we are both a bit insecure. I know that I was clingy and pushed her away due to my insecurities. I also know that I have said that I will keep positive and try to work on myself, and I am still going to do that. However, I just want to be really honest with what exactly went down immediately following the breakup.
Hi I was engaged to my fiance for 11 years and things were going great until last July when he left me. In September I heard that he was seeing another woman that devastated me they split up in November, in December just before Xmas he contact me saying that he missed me and wanted to work things out, 2 weeks later he went cold on me yet again I was left heartbroken. Towards the end of January he turned up on my doorstep and asked if he could talk about getting back together; this time he took me out on dates and said that we would take things slowly I agreed. It is now the middle of February and he said to me that he needs space a week later I messaged him to see if he was ok and he did not reply back for hours saying that he ok. I am stuck in limbo as he has gone cold again I don’t know what to do anymore?
To a degree I understand the the above. I now how I deserve to be treated, I now what my worth is and I’ve told my guy I deserve better if it makes him run for the hill so be it. It’s ok to retreat to man gave but get a little bit of communication in any relationship I called respect. Even if it’s I need time out. I’m sick off of hanging in the side line while he tries to figure wither I mean enough or not. I beleive I myself and respect myself enough to know when enough is enough. Xx
However, I am a little worried. I do not know how this site feels about soul mates and twin flames, but I have felt from the beginning that she is mine. I know that the reason for our breakup is because of the need to work on ourselves. I know that we have both been insecure, and that in my insecurity, I have been needy. I need to be my own best friend for a while and not rely on others so much, and I realize that. I just hope that maybe, just maybe, if I play the cards right and she does come back, I hope that things will work.
"Human experience has not yet devised anything," Peter wrote on an early email, "that can shield us from the pain of a broken love, the pain of feeling thrown out of your own world and out into the cold. Same as being born: I  huddled in a very cosy place that was my natural place to be, then all of a sudden I am ejected into a new and hostile place, one that's not where I  felt at home. And there is nothing the baby can do but scream and cry and feel terrible." 
my bf of a year and i decided to break up cuz we thought it was the healthiest option we had. we were in a long distance relationship and we both have depression. we talk to therapists once a week. he and i work almost everyday so didnt really get to talk to each other.(we also have like 8 hour time difference) we broke up over a phone call, he said that he stills loves me a lot and misses me. he told me to not delete all those pictures on FB cuz he wont as well and wont try to forget about me. i'm moving to Europe in 3 months(he lives in Europe) and he wants to see me when we close the gap. He said we could try to recover the relationship when we see each other and now we just have to give each other some space to work on ourselves and be stable. 4 days after we broke up, he sent me a message out of the blue asking is i was doing okay. i said i was fine and asked him if he wanted to talk. and he said he just wanted know. i know i have to go no contact at least for a month, but this break up doesnt feel like a real break up to me tbh. it just feels like a break. do i still have to go no contact and ignore his messages when he texts me? i wont initiate any contacts tho.

I been dating this man for 1yr he has pulled away from me 3x. The first two times I felt like I did something wrong to him cuz I never had any man pulled away from me before it was new and I seeked for answers. Right now I’m going through it which is the 3rd I reached out to him so he can see I care but its something that for us women need to get use to if we want our men in our life’s I respect him and my best way to cope with it its to… Read more »

It may sound like common sense but you’d be surprised to know that many people hope to get back with someone they deeply care for, but do nothing to change some of their negative habits or behaviors. Most of the time there are no magic tricks or quick fixes that can bring back the one you love into your life if you haven’t sorted out some of the negative behaviors from your previous relationship.


He suddenly wanted a break, said i would get too jealous and needed space, I fought him so he said nvm I’m too aggressive. Then I kept messaging him and he said he was seriously going to give me a chance but that now that I freaked him out. I had never reacted this way w him but I really did not want to lose him. He used to love me so much and showed so much affection but it was so much that it kind of got to me and I loved him a lot for it, he eventually needed space because he went through alcohol problems in the past and needed to stay active in helping and running since he is sponsored. Eventually he told me no, he will not promise me he was taking a break anymore.

Eventually he told me he can not stand it anymore and although he loves me he cant be with me. So we didnt talk for 2 days, and then he wrote me that Im the love if his life and he wont give up on this. But I decided to take a step back cuz it hurt me. So I told him we need to do the talk and decide what we are gonna do. After 2 weeks we finally did it and had a big fight. Then we decided to try again. So we met again and it just led to nowhere. We went in circles, could not even find a place to go to do the talk because of my stubbornness and his lack of understanding...
My girlfriend of almost a year broke up with me this week. I told her that I didn't want it but if that's what she wanted then she should go ahead. She wanted me to break up with her but I didn't want to because obviously, I want to be with her. We've been fighting for as long as I could remember. I know for sure that it's a trust issue and pretty sure this also lead to her losing respect for me. This isn't the first time we broke up so prior to this website, I've read multiple ones concerning how to get my ex back in the course of at least 5-6 months already. So I did what I know best right away and that's to not contact her. Her last message to me was that I should text her if I want to see her and talk in person. It's her offering me a closure conversation. As of now, I'm blocked from social media including Facebook messenger. I was needy in the relationship, I would always cry and beg. I would do everything for her and let her walk all over me. She would say the meanest things without a pause and I would just openly accept them because I blame myself for everything that's wrong in the relationship. She would start fights and always bring up past mistakes. I wasn't a bum in the relationship. I gave her all the attention that I could give, I put in effort and partly I think I've given too much and I was always available and thus lessening my value to her. I want to get her back. Please help. I'm hopeful to having another start with her but if I try everything and it doesn't work. I would gladly accept the break-up and happily move on. Thank you!
You've been seeing this guy at least once a week for a few months now. You're both sushi aficionados, his big brown eyes make you melt, and he even laughs out loud at The Mindy Project. It's great—except that you have no idea where things stand. He has yet to introduce you as his girlfriend or bring up being exclusive, and you're craving that "couple" title and the security that comes with it. Talk about blurred lines.
Take up extreme sports. Do that, and he may think he's losing you. The point here isn't so much that you risk your life but that you actually create more of a life outside his orbit. Canceling a date because you want to make him jealous is lame, but canceling a date because, hey, you've got your karate classes tonight and your flying lessons tomorrow, is sort of cool. Once there's something competing for your attention, he begins to wonder how much he really matters in your life scheme. All you're doing is filling up your time with cool stuff he might like to do, but you're not including him. He's got to wonder if you're drifting away, and in order to lay claim reasonably to more of your time, he'll have to be explicit about how much time he wants. In other words, he'll have to bring up The Talk. Risk factor: Low, with regard to losing him; high, when it comes to your own personal safety, especially if you choose a hobby known for producing fatalities. (Hint: No guy — no matter how great — is worth scaling Everest for.)
Hello. I was with my ex boyfriend for only 4 months. Everything was amazing in the beginning. He has two kids. One is 8 the other 11. He is legally separated from his wife for 3 years and they hardly communicate unless it’s about the children. They also haven’t lived together in 3 years. They live in separate states two hours away. He met me and fell in love fast. So did I. He was saying he wanted a family with me and it was very soon but I felt deeply for him too. I ended up moving in with him after I found out I was pregnant. His ex found out and was holding the kids over his head because she isn’t over him still. They apparently had a terrible 13 years of marriage. From what his family had told me. She made him feel guilty about having a kid with someone else and keeps telling him he will give up on them. She manipulates. So anyway, after living together for a few weeks we got into a fight over the ex and I had moved out into my own place. We ended up getting back together after a while and my insecurities got the best of me and it ruined us. I was asking a lot of questions on how he feels about me. And if he’s over his ex. He says he is over both of us now. But I recently found out he spent the weekend with her and the kids but everyone is telling me he did it because it’s far and he wanted to stay with his kids. He denies he was there I guess to save the argument. He was always a good guy to me. We tried a good 2 times after that slowly. Just to see where it would go but I started in with the questions again. And I also got angry a few times and told him to sign over rights to me so I can raise the baby without him which I was wrong. I apologized. He forgave me. I love him but I’m just hormonal and scared I already damaged so much that I ruined it anyway. We were together 9 days ago physically. And yesterday we went to a doctors visit for the baby together but he said he doesn’t want to be with me because my insecurities and questions about feelings. He doesn’t want to deal with it anymore. I don’t know my best bet. I want a family. He does too. Before the whole thing with his ex we were amazing. So we once had a good thing. He also says we’ve only known each other 5 months and doesn’t know if it’s worth it all.
Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.
I have been dating a very successful professional, who also does a lot of additional work in non-profit and education. We went on 7 dates over 8 weeks, and he was always romantic and generous on these dates ie. expensive restaurants, shows, serenading me on his guitar, flowers, telling me he was in love with me and addicted to me, flirty texts… After the 5th date, I noticed that he messaged me less frequently and sometimes took days to respond. He mentioned that he was going through some stressful family stuff, and I assumed that it was related to a family illness. On our 7th date, he told me that his parent had collapsed a few days before and was in hospital from an illness that was related to addiction. He told me that he was extremely stressed because it was bringing up old issues for him, and he warned me that when he is stressed, he pulls away from everyone and needs time and space alone. A week before Christmas, he told me that his father had been admitted into a clinic and that he was concerned that his father would not commit to the program. He was sick with the flu and would sometimes message me just before midnight to say hello and that he had just gotten off work. He did not ask to see me, but he was taking time to see his friends. I messaged him now-and-then with appreciative texts, to which he responded positively, but then would not continue the conversation. By the fourth week of not seeing him, I was at the end of my rope, and I messaged him that I understood that he was going through a lot and that he was also busy with work, but that I would like to meet him to catch up because our communication was not what it used to be, and it had been 4 weeks since we had seen each other. He replied that he was aware that he was pulling away, and that he needed some more time to himself as he was struggling to find grounding. He told me that the family issues were still ongoing and causing a lot of stress. I said he would love to see me in the future but that right now he needed time alone. He told me that he understood if that was unacceptable to me, but that he hoped that I would wait for him and give him a little more time. I replied that I had been hurt and confused over the holidays because we did not see each other, but that I understood he needed space and time. I appreciated that he gave me some clarity and I would like for us to communicate better. I told him that I respected, cared for him and wished him happiness. Since our last text conversation 2 weeks ago, neither of us have reached out to one another. I’m finding it really hard to not see or talk to him, but from what I have read in relationship articles including this one about giving a man space when he is pulling away from stress, it is the best course of action. Some days I am so busy myself that I don’t really have time to think about him, but when I do, I become quite depressed. Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated…

You are always going to come up with some reason why you have to contact him. You saw sneakers he would love on sale, you saw a meme he would find hilarious, it’s his birthday, it’s his dog’s birthday, you really want to update him on your crazy co-worker and the latest installment of her shenanigans, and on and on. But you must resist! Recognize what’s really happening, there is nothing urgent you need to tell him, you just want to talk to him because you miss him. But remember reaching out at this stage will not bring him back into your life.
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whenever I ask him what’s wrong with him it takes a while before I get just one sentence out of him, this has affected our relationship as communication is being lacked. Ik he’s a guy and doesn’t want to seem vulnerable I understand that but we had a over the text argument more like me yelling at him even though for days I have asked him if we can talk in person so we can settle this in person so no communication is being misinterpreted but all he did was bring up lil excuses not to talk to me or I’d ask him when we would be able to and he’d be like “Idk” and because of that I would overthink everything and then just hold everything in until finally I exploded. I usually hold my tounge with being sweet and patient and I was like that for about 3 days but I was done with him not talking about what is going on with him and us and it all started when I gave him the impression that I didn’t want to be in this relationship anymore. We were in the car and I was jumbling all my feelings and not even knowing what I was saying, I said to him that I wanted some space to get myself together so that I could love myself more for this relationship. And I think all he got from me talking was that I wanted space and that I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him because that’s usually something somebody would say if they wanted to end it slowly without saying “I wanna break up with you”. I shouldn’t of worded it like that but keep in mind I was PMSing to the max and I even told him that was why I freaked out on him and to try to understand not to take anything I say personal or even seriously.
Seriously though, if you see any book, product or article that guarantees that it can get you your ex back 100% of the time you should stop and realize that you are probably about to look at something that was made up just to get you to buy it or read it. Ironically, a lot of the stuff out there that makes these ridiculous claims offer no value and leave you feeling taken advantage of.
I’m on the other side of the coin. I’ve been dating a woman for three years and she is a raging workaholic. We rarely spend time together, if we do she falls asleep, or we have time to do nothing because she always has to be AT WORK. Living together would solve some of the problems but she always has an excuse as to why she works all the time or some martyr-ific After two years, I’ve finally gotten tired of trying to communicate my feelings and am taking time for myself. It’s hard to talk when you feel that someone is not listening.

First, your acquaintances will unfollow you and seeing the negativity, they won’t even want to go near you or introduce new people to you. Second, new friends will all know that you’re sad and don’t want to know you more or else they’ll get infected with your sadness. Third, for the friends who really care about you — you can just go the traditional way and meetup with them and cry your eyes out.
I wouldn't recommend you get your hopes up simply based on this, as there's a chance that he just hadn't gotten around to it yet. Reading too much into the little things and getting your hopes up may result in your disappoint when it turns out to not be the case, and may even accelerate his actions (i.e getting rid of the things) if you bring it up.
One of the most important anchors in successful relationships is found in the ability to understand and be understood. This builds security and trust for all parties. Often, in dating, this area is fuzzy or shoved aside and replaced with the two popular frontrunners in relationship connection: attraction and chemistry, but they typically lead to a dead end destination. What matters most is found in the power of communication.
It’s finally happening: you met a man you’re compatible with, you really like him, and the feeling is mutual. He’s showering you with attention, making plans to see you, making time to call you, and generally letting you know that he’s so happy to have found you. How does a man act when he’s falling in love? Just like this—and you’ve never been happier, or more thankful, to have him by your side.
If you are no longer with the one you love but still have very strong feelings it can be overwhelming at first when trying to get over a breakup. You feel like part of you is missing and that you won’t ever be whole again until you get that special someone back into your life. If you don’t know where to turn and are just simply looking for help and support to figure out how to get back with your ex this is probably the best place to start!

We spent that summer together inseperable after that. At the end of the summer he told me he loves me. In that moment I truly forgave him and saw that he had made the mistake out of fear, and open wounds from his last (and only) real relationship… I realized the poor guy had never even experienced true partnership and love… I was excited to show him how a real partnership can be, and how lovable he is.
My ex and I broke up a few days ago because he said with him working and not being able to see me as much that he couldn't show me the respect he wanted but he still has stong feelings for me. We agreed to wait about 3-4 weeks to see how his work schedule is going and if it'll be good for us to get back together. But I'm still confused on what to do in that time.
“A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to understand the male intimacy cycle. Men instinctively feel this urge to pull away. It is not a decision or choice. It just happens. It is a natural cycle. As men experience this instinctive urge to fulfill their need for independence or autonomy, they pull away much like a rubber band that is stretched to its limit. Like the rubber band, a man has nowhere else to go but back. When he has done so, like the rubber band, he will return with a lot of power and spring. If a woman expects her partner to be close and intimate all of the time, the rubber band will turn limp and flaccid. His power and strength, like the rubber band, is gone. Simply put, if a woman quietly accepts her partner’s instinctive urge to pull away, she will be rewarded by his eventual return.” ~ John Gray
I’m sure that you’ve heard the saying the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence quite a few times before. It is very very relevant to love and relationships as well. After being with someone for a long time it is easy to be tempted by something new or to get bored! Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you can easily find someone better!
2 months ago I reconnected with the love of my life from 20 years ago. He calls me very night and we talk on the phone for hours. We are both single. Ive hinted to him that im interested in more than a friendship but he doesnt respond and changes the conversation. I havent hinted anymore. He hasnt even mentioned about seeing each other. We live in the same city. He is having a rough financial time right now. He even had to sell his car. Am I in the friend zone or should I wait to see if this develops into something more?
Here is the thing. You want to focus on you not only because this is healthy which is the main reason and you’re putting yourself first but by putting yourself first he will want you more. There is a deep desire for people to be with someone that puts themselves first. I would not only follow his lead. Make sure you are not too available in the process and really schedule time for you. Then take control back a little bit so you can eventually see where this is headed.
I met my husband at a party when I was 17. I saw him and I was hit with a ton of bricks. We spent most of the night talking (and kissing), and I was on a cloud. We dated for a few months and while the relationship was short, it was extremely significant to me. He was just different from the rest and I was devastated when it ended, like completely crushed.
I don't know what I want. My ex broke my heart 8 months ago after a relationship of 2 years. We were the best friends. After the breakup he had a new girlfriend after 1 month. They broke up 3 months ago because she cheated. He came back to me, wanted all my attention, but I told him I still have feelings for him but I don't want him back. He accepted it but was mad because he thought I had someone new. He went back with the girl who cheated. Then I decided I didn't want him in my life anymore. I blocked him and deleted him on social media. The problem is that we have a common group of friends. Last week he was posting every day a snapchat in the group. Yesterday he send me a message with an artist in and the sentence 'I think you would like this artist.' Today I saw I had a missed facetime-call from him. To his bestfriend he said he regretted the way we broke up and the way we treat eachother the last months.. He is still together with this girl.
I know there’s nothing wrong with anyone watching a little porn. However, if you are having a hard time getting aroused by the real woman who’s sleeping next to you in bed and you’re easily turned on by some anonymous woman on your computer screen, then you need to consider that porn might be creating more problems than you think. Studies have shown that dopamine is a key factor in reward-driven learning and that certain addictive drugs—cocaine, amphetamine, and methamphetamine—directly affect the dopamine system. When someone is sexually aroused, the same seven areas of the brain are activated as when doing these drugs.
First things first, you are going to become the sexiest version of yourself that the world has ever seen. Let’s say you and I were dating and we had a fight and broke up (I know I am a horrible boyfriend 😉 .) Anyways, after a month of you basically freezing me out (no contact) I happen to bump into you at a Starbucks or somewhere where we both frequented. The first thought I have of our encounter will be based on the choices that you made during the 30 day no contact period. If you sat around feeling sorry for yourself and ate ice cream on the couch all day I will probably think “she looks terrible.” However, if you spent that no contact time working on yourself physically and mentally I am probably going to think “WOW! She is even more beautiful than I remember.”
So me and my ex were in a long distance relationship for 2 years. I was in my career and he was just finishing up school. We met in another state and have always been long distance. So when he graduated, im thinking that we would finally get to be together. Wrong, he broke up with me. His words were im not leaving you, im leaving the relationship. I still love you and still feel the same, I think that we need to just be friends" So basically needing time to get himself together, which I can respect. At first, I was pleading, then I told him I couldnt be friends. Then, I said yea im ok with being friends because there was so much going on in both of our lives that I feel like I wanted to still be apart of. So for about 5 days after that our only contact was words with friends (Scrabble). The game has ended and now we are officially in the no contact part. He still has our pics up on his page and last time we talked 2 weeks ago, we both said "I love you" before we got off the phone. I really believe we were the two right people at the wrong time. Its almost been a month and each week gets easier. He was my first love and my best friend. This article was nice, my only confusion is you said Id reach out to him after the no contact rule, but most advice Ive gotten is "He broke up with you, You should wait until he hits you up". Im new to all this heart break stuff. He was my first and Im still at the point where I want him to be my only one. Thank you!
Problem is right now we are not really talking. We have not spoken except in very formal text messages (finalizing the breakup) since the day he said he wanted to break up with me. It's been about two weeks. He said that he would be willing to meet with me but seemed really defensive that I might just try to beg and plead again. I'm worried if I see him he will just keep trying to shut me off, even if that's not what I'm doing..
Another year goes by. It was summer and I was having the time of my life. I decided to take a break from dating and focus on myself. Then I ran into him in Central Park on a Saturday afternoon. At last, he was single and I was single, we were both living in NYC, now was the time. But he didn’t contact me after that. So I decided to contact him. I sent him a friendly message on Facebook and opened the door wide for him to ask me out… but he didn’t take my expertly laid out bait.
You can’t just dive back into the relationship and expect everything to be different this time around. You broke up for a reason, probably several reasons, and those reasons will still be there unless properly dealt with. You can’t do the same thing and expect different results, that’s just insane (literally, I think that’s the actual definition of insanity).
Thank You! Literally, as soon as I posted this he texted me! Crazy. It was just small talk. He said "Hows life" We've only not talked for 2 weeks. smh So nothing has changed for me lol. Nice to know he's doing well. Im going to read your articles/emails each day and hope I can get my baby again. This time in a new relationship even better than the last and permanently! Thank you for your words. That seems to be what im continuing to receive "Do what you want and makes you happy!" and you're right, Egos are toxic. Im learning so much about myself during this process and it's almost exciting. I still have my sad moments in those feelings of the absence of him but yoga, meditation, reading and focusing on my certification has helped! Im rambling, but im thankful there are positive people out there to discuss exes. They're not all bad, we're all human. Thank you so much!

So if you have worked hard to bring your ex boyfriend back into the picture and progress is being made on multiple communication fronts, then take an opportunity and drop him a little not.  Nothing over the top.  Nothing about making a relationship commitment. You don’t want to spook your ex bf. We will talk about that in another post.  Just something that cements you enjoyed yourself.  Keep it light!


This may or may not work, but I think it’s your best shot given the distance issue. The Philippines is overrun with women that like Western men anyway so even if she doesn’t come through, I’m sure you can meet other women anyway, maybe online. That can be the backup plan and you may find someone that you like even better when over there. So, that’s what I would do!
More often than not if you have gotten this far in your conquest to get them back they are going to respond back positively. Except this time you are going to engage them in a conversation but make sure that you don’t go too fast. Remember, you still have to be the one to end the conversation first. Lets look at how a conversation like this might play out using an example from above:
This means be honest with yourself: Is there anything in your life right now that could interfere with the success of a new relationship? A common scenario that I see in my practice is a couple will have a whirlwind romance: feel amazing connection, fall in love…but then the guy starts to pull away or blows hot and cold (he’s interested one week and distant the next). And this might go on for some time before the guy finally admits that he’s not ready for a relationship. This is heartbreaking for both of you because it’s really painful to break up after you’ve become deeply bonded.
I hope this article helped you understand what to do if a guy is pulling away. It’s a question I get asked a lot – so I wrote this article as a ‘band-aid’ to get rid of the worst of the symptoms right away. It’s important to note that if you really want him to stop pulling away forever, you need more powerful advice. If you’re ready for that, you need to read this right now: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Trust your instincts from the very first contact with a potential boyfriend.  Did he get a little too drunk on your initial dates?  A man who can’t get through the early stages of a relationship without using alcohol may have substance abuse issues.  Is he perpetually late, always offering bogus excuses?  He doesn’t value your time so don’t expect him to suddenly be punctual when you need him to be somewhere important.  Do you get a sense he is hiding something when he finds reasons why you can never come to his place?  Key into your visceral responses when you pick up vibes that don’t sit right with you.  Don’t make the mistake so many women make, thinking that all these negative behaviors will change once he falls in love with you.  They won’t.  They may even get worse.

Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?


Hey, I love this article. My ex and I broke up a month ago, I broke up with him, but then I came back telling him I wanted him back. He said he needed space to value me again, then when I started being too Clingy he said he just wanted to be friends I felt hurt and I hated the way he was treating me. He knew I was hurt by how he treated so I told him I’ll let him be. He called me twice this week but I didn’t answer and called again yesterday and I answered then he apologized for how he treated me, the conversation was brief. I’m trying to do the no contact thing for now but his birthday is in two weeks, I don’t know if to wish him happy birthday or not
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