When fear loses its power, you become unafraid to be yourself. You learn to show up, to be witnessed, and be real in your relationships, because there is nothing to lose, and nothing to be rejected. Rejection takes on new meaning, and it is no longer because there is something inherently wrong, broken, or inadequate within you. There is great power in authenticity.

Hi, I have been talking with a man that is older then me. He is very private and he needed space so I gave it to him. Out of respect cause I once was in his shoes. And found myself again when i had my own time. We haven’t had sex in the months we been together. Just talking and enjoying one another company. There are times he asks me to stay with him more now days and I do. Still no Sex, alot of kissing and holding. Then we both stop one another before it goes further. Why? Idk but we respect one another more. But I have noticed we have recently stopped talking like we use to. The convos shorten. Our conversations are about our days, and some sexting or just straight talk n tease about being romantic. We just have fun. I do know he dont to hurt me, n he is afraid of his own actions. He’s the touchy feely type with women. And it surprises him I don’t get mad or jealous. He tells me he ain’t use to the way I act towards stuff like that. I’ve asked him if he’s trying to push me away he says no then he says maybe… I don’t feel he is cheating, I just think we are both scared to take the next step. Cause we both hurt and was hurt in our last relationships. Getting confused need some advice.
When you get a taste of something great, you will always want another taste. Men want what they can’t have. If you give him all he wants right away instead of making him fight for you, he will know he has it made on easy street. Where is the fun in getting something without a fight? Be a little bit flirtatious but don’t give him everything. For example, definitely don’t give him a kiss on the first date. Make him earn each bit of affection he gets from you. Men like to earn things and your affections shouldn’t be any different. He’ll appreciate you more if you make it a little challenging for him to be in your good graces.
There's always a chance to win her back, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Spend this time focusing on yourself and improving aspects of your life that can be worked on, essentially, become an improved version of yourself. Regaining her trust is definitely no easy task, but as long as you are consistent in your effort and the relationship she shared with you was a meaningful one, there's always a possibility where she comes around.
Hi Lauren! I am from the Philippines and I bumped on this site trying to find out advises for my current relationship. My story will be a bit long and I hope you may find time reading it. I have been in a relationship for 8months now. Our relationship started in a most undesirable way. First, let me tell you the romantic background of the guy whom I decided to be with. His first girlfriend was way back in his High School years. They were together for four years. The girl has a "childhood friend" who was a Filipino Australian citizen (A Filipino who migrated in AU and became a citizen), eventually, the fall of the relationship was when the girl thought that the relationship was going nowhere and decided to cheat when that "childhood friend" went back to the Philippines. When he learned the thing, of course his heart got broken and had a hard time moving on. After a year, he had his second girl who was his college junior (they were both studying Nursing) and all went fine, he shared with me that he gave all the girl's wants and needs but in the end he was made aware that the girl is cheating and that she is dating another man when they are still together and the mother of the girl belittled him for being "just a nurse". They broke up and he did all to win the gilr back but nothing happened. After a year, when he learned that the girl became available "again", he started courting her "again" to win her back, of course the girl chose a different man instead of him and that's when he decided to move on. On the other hand, we were officemates, I am a Human Resource Officer and he's a Company Nurse, at first, I did not like him for he's just not my type. Until the tables turned. I love talking to him and I enjoy his company, I told him that I like him and he said it was okay. Eventually I fell in love and confessed, he told me he's not ready and can't reciprocate my love, as well, he d...
Right now I am dealing with this myself. My boyfriend has, admittedly, got a lot going on right now. He said he’s not going to be able to get together for several days. I was irritated and unfortunately I let myself get angry with him. But now I’ve cooled down and I am sticking to my guns and NOT contacting him. I did send him a good morning text because I always do that, and he responded, but that’s it. I plan to be unavailable tonight if he calls me. I made plans to get together with a friend tomorrow night. I am going to give him MORE space than he wants…
My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago. When we started dating we were both so happy. But last summer my father got diagnosed with cancer and I had a hard time dealing. He died this spring. I was more angry than sad for his loss, cut ties with my friends, got insecure. My boyfriend was very supportive. But I relied only on him to make me happy, complained that he did not show enough affection (even though he did more than enough, I was just afraid of losing him). Which ended in us having a big fight 3 months ago. We made up the next day, promising to work it out. So I started to get back in touch with friends, improve my mental health, plan dates for us. Then he went on a long-planned 3-week trip. We didn‘t text much during the trip and when he came back that didn‘t change. He didn’t even want to meet until days after he came back. He brought me presents from his trip - then broke up with me. He said he had thought a lot and he felt like I needed more affection than he could give. He seemed genuinely sad and torn. I texted him days later, saying I was ashamed of my behaviour in the past, that I had already changed so much while he was gone. He answered that he had been happy with me too, but could not share his feelings with me and did not see a future for us anymore. But he would like to be friends, as we enjoyed each others company. So again I texted, that I was sorry his decision seemed best for him. That I knew I was egoistical im the past but had done everything I could to make him feel safe with me. He did not answer and I did not text again.
I meant a friend who directed me to Dr. Ikhine on the internet who help people to solve their problem and then i wrote to him and he said i should not worry about anything, that i should give him 48 hours for him to cast a spell for me and after that 48 hours my ex boyfriend called me on my office line and started begging. That is how my ex boy friend came back to me contact dr.wingsperfect.life@gmail. com put a smile in your face once again his help is guaranteed.
Apologize. Think deeply about anything you did or didn't do that somehow contributed to the downfall of the relationship, and clean the slate by giving your ex a proper apology. Take full responsibility for the offense, without blaming your ex, giving excuses, or expecting an apology (or even forgiveness) in return. It may very well be that your ex contributed to the situation, but you cannot apologize for someone else; you can only apologize for yourself. Leave him or her out of it and odds are the apology will be reciprocated.

I would like to share a comment with the dr. I experienced the separate therapist scenario and you are correct. the outcome is most certain to be divorce as was mine. Also in response to Alice. I read the book the verbally abusive relationship and although some people are prone to abuse, the author, in my opinion does not share or give any inspiration as does Susan. The author empowers women who need validation to end a relationship without having to do any work or communicate with there partner how verbal abuse may be affecting them. It's an incurable disease according to the author, and a very easy way out of a relationship, as well as a way to exonerate oneself from any and or even partial responsibility for divorce. I guess what's most important is verbal abuse is prevalent and can do serious harm to ones self esteem. it's not a death sentence and once it's brought to light, talked about and understood, can make a relationship stronger. If two people want to be together! Most times once a diagnosis is reached by an unhappy spouse, it's over and this book, as I said before, is the validation needed because once you determine you have been verbally abused your free to go and take no responsibility as the Author points out it's the fault of the abuser who has a death sentence and there fore you must get away.
Why is this the easiest? Well it doesn’t have as many core problems as other circumstances, like for instance getting a girl back from another guy. That’s harder. You only broke up due to distance, meaning that the attraction she feels for you is still present. In fact it might even have increased, since women get off on desiring what they can’t have (you). Even if it seems impossible, it can be done.
The trick is to give him plenty of space and always keep him wanting more. Even if you’re in a long distance relationship or you’ve been with your guy for years upon years, you should still let him miss you every now and then. Trust me, it’ll work wonders for your relationship. You shouldn’t HAVE to do all of this with guys but the sad fact is, you do with most of them.

Owen Williams has been directing men in developing character for over twenty-five years. In the past he has led men’s groups and retreats as well as co-hosting a successful Radio show called GuyTalk. He is the author of The Relationship Revolution, which highlights the need to take both divorce and misery off the table. Check out Owen’s website relationshipexcellence.com.

So me and this guy used to talk a lot face to face and then he asked for number one day and we texted all the time and spoke face to face but then after a year we no longer spoke face to face just cuz when we would act lovey dovey on text I started to freak out thinking it would be awkward face to face so yh that stopped but we still texted then I started liking him then ended up telllingg him n he said he liked me back but then his friend told me he was lying so I find out he was pretending cuz he felt bad even tho I said if. U don’t like me it’s okay.But yh we had a massively argument and didn’t speak for six weeks but I still liked him so being stupid I went running back and we have been talking ever since but now we have tiny arguments over silly stuff n he lied to me for the first time don’t get me wrong we still have a good time but I don’t know sometimes I feel like I’m wasting my time cuz I put effort it like I always text first n when I told him that he said it’s because he doesn’t kno when to and I’m like does it look like I know when ur available? No but I still text u. He also has this bff of his a girl who I get his close with but the pics they post together are couple-y. And Ik me and him ain’t together but I need advice, do I stop talking to him or what?


Finally, both partners and spouses have to ‘know their role.’  Either the man should be the ‘Alpha’ (i.e., the spouse or partner who is dominate and generally leads the relationship), while the woman is the ‘Beta’ (i.e., the more agreeable, deferential, and submissive partner) … or, if both companions feel like the marriage or relationship would work better if the woman was the ‘Alpha’ and the man was the ‘Beta,’ so be it.  Either, or.
Hello! I have the following problem. Me and my wife are together for 7 years. We had a 4 years old girl. We had our ups and downs but we had a very good relationship. Two years ago she met some colleague of her from another city on some business trip. She cheated on me after a while. I found out in her messages that but she lied to me, she accused me of mistrust and other staff like that. I decided to believe her and move on. I even propose to her. Everything was perfect the last year or I though so. The last winter I cough her again and then this summer. They met each other not more than 3 4 times, for that I am sure. He is living in another city, he is a lot older than we are, he has wife and kid too. Most of the time they chat to each other via messenger. In june I left our home for a couple of weeks but she couldn`t take care as I wanted for our kid and our home. So I moved back because I want to look after my kid. We are back together for the last two months more as a parents and roommates than a couple. She is saying she loves me but she is not in love with me and she love the other guy although they cant have anything serious besides seeing 2 times in the year. I think I feel the same way but I want to make it right for our kid. What could I do. I know I love her and can live with her till rest of my wife. I want to reconnect with her in a real way, to restore trust and to build a new relation. I saw that system isn`t working if we are living together. So what should I do.
Understand the breakup. What did each of you do to contribute to the breakup? Most relationship troubles do not crop up unexpectedly, but build up over time. The odds are good that it wasn't a one-sided problem and that there were signs that it was coming. Take some time and do some soul searching before you attempt to get your ex back. You want to make sure you are not wasting your time or energy on something futile.

We went back to our place and he told me he wanted to break up with me for sure. I tried to reason with him again, to give me more time But he was sure, he had felt bad about changing his mind before apparently; after a couple hours of heated conversation, of me trying to convince him, he even told me he didn’t love me anymore ( which I’m not sure about, was he saying that so that i let go?). I gave in and we took my flight ticket back home. We spent the day after together, it was awesome and incredibly sad. I didn’t want to believe I was letting go of a life I wanted so much. He was so sad too, it felt like he was hurting a lot too.
Again, this is risky since there is a higher chance of him saying no. However, if you two were really making a lot of progress via texting and you really think he is feeling the same way you are about your current relationship then the “I was in the neighborhood method” may do the trick for you. The obvious advantage is that you get an instant date/meet up!
Hi. I'm in no contact and eventhough I told her I needed space and wouldn't text anymore, my ex has been messaging me a few times. I'm starting to worry that if I keep ignoring that she'll be mad at me. And that when no contact is over and I contact her she might take revenge and ignore me as I did to her. What do I do? Do i restate that I still need some time for myself? Or do I just keep ignoring?

This has been a secret among us ladies for many years and has never failed us… It certainly never failed me and I’m living proof! It is a lot harder than it sounds though as if you love him, you will no doubt want to spend every minute with him and fighting against that feeling can be hard. Just because you are lessening the amount of texts and dates, doesn’t mean you can increase the amount of Facebook activity.
"It's a turnoff for me when a girl pretends to like something just because I like it. 'You like the Knicks? Weird, I love the Knicks! Who's that tall one again? Who are you and what are your interests? If we disagree about stuff, let's have fun disagreeing about it and if any of it winds up being too important, then, well, it won't work out and that's fine." Miles P.
Can you become close friends with your ex? My ex broke up with me but we were best friends. He is with someone new but is still contacting me. I don’t know if it’s just for friendship or does he miss our relationship? He sends me messages about our serie that we watched together, but the conversation is short and not deep at all. I still love him, and I don’t know what to do?
The best way to optimize your chances of getting your ex bf back is to become Ungettable Girl.  You want to increase your value in his eyes and also make it difficult for him to reach you, talk to you, and see you.  This is just a small part of becoming the Ungettable Girl.  It’s also about making yourself beautiful in his eyes from afar.  He can see you, but now it is at a distance (through Snap chat, Facebook, etc).   Slowly over time, your ex boyfriend will crave you and you will do things to ensure that he feels that craving every day by using little jealousy ploys and rumors and chance encounters.  Your ex boyfriend loves nothing more than a good chase – so give him one.

Saskia Nelson is the talent behind the award-winning and internationally acclaimed Saturday Night’s Alright, the UK’s coolest dating photography business, specializing in creating dating photos that kick ass and win dates for 100s of single people. She is also the co-founder of Irresistible Dating. She has been credited by Time magazine for kick-starting the genre of dating photography and is recognized as the leading industry expert in the UK & US on all things dating-photo related.
I hope this article helped you understand what to do if a guy is pulling away. It’s a question I get asked a lot – so I wrote this article as a ‘band-aid’ to get rid of the worst of the symptoms right away. It’s important to note that if you really want him to stop pulling away forever, you need more powerful advice. If you’re ready for that, you need to read this right now: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
I don’t know if someone could give me an advice, or maybe i’ll be criticized but i need to tell someone my storry. It’s a bit large so i apologize but it’s because of how complicated things are. Three years ago i started working as a girl of “company” ( i don’t really like the other words that describe this job). On my sixth month i met Him. At first he was just one of my best clients. But we got to talk a lot and start knowing each other, so we fell in love. He says he fell in… Read more »

One question. During this time of me really focusing on myself and trying to understand our situation better. Would it be wise the next time we talk face to face to discuss our future relationship (If we decide to be together again) to mention why things went so wrong in the last one and see if we're willing to set boundaries to not make those mistakes again? A little more insight into our relationship issues. So when we first met he still had a girlfriend. It honestly got under my skin all throughout the relationship because we were Long distance and he never really gave me a clear timeline of when they truly broke up and when we started talking. It made me insecure most of the relationship because early on in the relationship he'd go hours without talking to me. I went through his phone and saw he had met up with her claiming to console her because she was depressed/suicidal. Etc. I should have never got with him until I was comfortable, I realize that now. We started on the wrong foot. Then a series of events where he posted another girl on his page (He deleted it after I told him I didnt feel comfortable, he had no pics of me on his page), confused me with the same girl, and went out with friends with the girl. All without properly communicating with me. I had no issue with him having female friends but his communication about his friends was off. So the Trust and communication really needed work. It was so hard because we were in an LDR. He didnt know how to maintain, honestly. Overall he was a wonderful guy, he just wasnt the greatest at communication when we were apart. Together he was perfect. I felt in the loop. He started to make changes toward the middle/end of the last year of the relationship. So I know he's capable. I dont want to keep bringing up the past but I want to make sure this go around the boundaries are clearer. He broke up with me but I knew the end was near. We both had a lot to work on.
I’m sorry Eileen, i keep bugging…but he thinks I’m playing mind games w him bc I messed up in the beginning and it was a complete misunderstanding… and said if I don’t get in touch with him that he will find someone else to keep himself from getting depressed. It’s funny bc ever since I been giving him space, he been trying to text and call me alot…this guy is very difficult since I used to push him away bc I felt like I was not good enough for him…I’m trying to b positive
You need to understand that a relationship is all about balance. From investing, energy, time and effort to being completely present, be it physically or emotionally, you need to able to discern if something is wrong with you. If you are holding yourself back and not expressing yourself completely or overcompensating for your partner’s lack of reciprocity, then you need to reassess the situation.
Showering your ex with affection has the same effect of the first three deadly sins. Trying to convince your ex that he should be with you by giving him all the attention, pouring compliments over him, sending him love notes or whatever will not work. The only way your ex will be convinced of your value is if you make yourself valuable, not if you demean yourself and act out of needy desperation.
“I recently got back in touch with my ex and we’re trying to make it work again. What I felt really helped me through the process was the no contact rule for at least three months and truly working on yourself and learning to find happiness outside of the relationship. I got involved with different hobbies, such as sports/working out to make myself feel good, as well as go back to salsa dancing which was something I love to do.”
If you harp on him and pester him to talk to you and open up he will see you as another source of stress in his life and will pull away even more. This creates a vicious cycle of you pushing him, him pulling back, you pushing more, and on and on until he either distances himself from you entirely or the relationship continues with an underlying tension. You can’t force someone to open up to you, especially when it comes to difficult emotional topics. You can invite them to open up, but you can’t badger them into it.
My point is, this isn’t a trick you pull to “get” someone to commit and then stop. Because the day you stop is the day you give up. It’s the way you live your life together — can you think of a better way than to continue to impress and engage and deserve each other? I can’t. The key is to practice that NOW, not so you can stop doing it when you find someone, but so you can really start.
This worked for me. I started dating a fella who was fresh out of a committed, live-in relationship and said he was unlikely to call anyone his girlfriend anytime soon. I didn’t say, “Oh yeah, buster, well you better decide now or I’m out!” I didn’t force him into having The Talk (read why to avoid this). I liked the guy. So I made sure I blew his mind and made him earn it. I did my thing, kept my life going and made it clear if he wanted to see me, he had to let me know. When we were together, I made him feel like a million bucks.

So, my question is this. I've discovered this information only recently, and my ex left me late last year. The winter and early spring was rough, and I broke a lot of rules. I finally tried no contact as long as possible, and didn't contact her from April till June. I've done a lot of self improvement, but when I broke and finally reached out to her, I think I might have screwed up the process somehow. I haven't even brought up our past at all, and have been trying just small talk here and there, but she seems to be withdrawing from me again. Should I try the no contact period again? Or is there some other way I can right the course of the process to give myself the best chance of doing things the right way?


Develop a playful sense of humor. What do girls say they look for most in guys? A sense of humor and a playful attitude These two traits are attractive because they tell other people that we're youthful and not aggressive. So learn a few jokes if you can (friends are always good to try them out on) and keep the ones that work and throw away the ones that don't. Learn to make fun of yourself a little, in a confident way — not a mopey way. And, for goodness sake, be playful, especially when you're around her. Tease her lovingly, or play a small prank on a friend. You'll notice the difference in her.
Men tend to like women who are independent and confident. They prefer the relationship to be interdependent. Interdependence requires both of you to be dependent as well as independent. This means that you create a dedicated space for your friends, work, and passion. You should not lose grip of things that are vital to you. Keep doing what you were doing before you began dating him.
Your first instinct is probably to talk all night and fall in love with his charming voice all over again, right?  Wrong move.  Besides calling too soon or calling too much, the next mistake a woman makes is to talk too much rather than ending the conversation a little sooner than usual.  In fact, if you really want him to miss you end the conversation first and don’t let it drag on until you get back that intimacy you lost.  He doesn’t deserve that intimacy, not right now.
Me and my BF have been dating a for a year in a long distance relationship( about 3 hours driving distance) . He does not like when guys hit on me via social and they leave comments under photos. I have told them to stop posting heart eyes and and even deleted them as friends. My ex broke up with me after one person has left 3 different comments over the last few months. I have no control over what others do and I don't know what else to do to get him to see that. I have made the mistake of contacting him day after day asking that we try to amend things, but he keeps repeating he is done and wishes me well. But finally today I came across this site and decided to give him the space hes asked for so that he may come back to me and so he has time to think things through without me being "Needy or desperate". It has only been 5 days and he is still replying to some text but refuses to speak to me over the phone. I am going crazy, especially since we were coming up on our "Official" 1 year anniversary in 2 weeks. I will do my best for the 30 day no contact. I want to be with him, get married, start a family and live a great life together. Hopefully this advice works. Wish me luck.
When a guy has things on his mind, he is more likely to want space, and he might pull away from you for a little while. If you think this is happening, you need to tread carefully. If you pry too much, he could see it as nagging, and he could withdraw even more. If you ignore him, then subconsciously he could think that you’re simply not there for him.
Jealousy can be a tricky beast with which to contend. However, there’s no easier way to make an ex miss you than to move onto another guy, or make him think you have. Whenever you go to a place where you know your special someone’ll be, make sure you bring another guy along. It could be just a friend or a potential new flame. As long as the ex sees you moving on, it is a near certainty that he will think of all the good times you had and miss what he once had. Guys are competitive and seeing you with another man is going to bring out the warrior in him. He’s going to want to win you back! Do not pay any attention to him during a time like this, instead say a quick “hello” and spend the rest of the night admiring the new man in your life. He’s going to go home thinking of you and it’s going to make him miss you terribly.
Reason #4. If you really managed to get back together right now, do you think your relationship would last? It is very unlikely. Neither of you would have changed your behaviors and bad habits. You will just repeat past mistakes. You might be able to force yourself to behave differently for a few weeks but then when things settle down, you go back to your old habits. Then you break up and you will then need to start the grieving process all over.
Men are rules by their egos. It is somethng that they cannot seem to help as it is just a part of their makeup. If he thinks that you really want him to be committed, he might do the opposite. Why? Men do not like to be led to think that they have been coerced or led somewhere that they had no intention of going. To get him to commit dont even think about forcing him to. If you have been trying hard to get him to see only you, the best thing is to pause your campaign and just enjoy where you are in the relationship. You have already expressed the desire to commit and if he wants to, no amount of force will get him there. Jut relax and allow him to see the real you and you wont need to bend his arm to be committed to you. The more you make it seem unimportant the more he will want you to want commitment from him.
My boyfriend and I had been living together for almost six months although we’ve been dating for close to 3 years. At first it was the perfect moments of our lives but along the way we started having pointless arguments and naughty attitudes toward each other. I couldn’t stand him and he always said it was because he loved me more. So he got another apartment and stopped staying with me. Now I miss him more than I ever have. We stopped fighting and eventually he invited me over for the weekend because he was dying to see me. After leaving, I missed him more and couldn’t do anything without him. He cried that he misses me more but I don’t think he does else he would have moved back in. Please any help making him miss me more than I miss him?

Hi,me and my ex were in a long distance relationship for more than a year .then we suddenly he seemed to be less interested in communicating.he said he started liking a girl there,and i couldn't do much about it. We still keep contact but as he have a very busy career.He told me that things are not the same now snd he does not feel the same love for me and that i am not his kinda girl.

Me any ex dated for over a year. He recently stopped communicating with me about four months ago. He will not give me a reason to his decision. I’ve begged and pleaded the last four months. He responds periodically but will not answer directly if he has broken up with me. My question is simply “are we done” “are we not dating anymore” etc. he never responds to those questions of why but if I say good morning or something general he will respond (sometimes) but takes hours to do so. I’ve just recently started to use the no contact rule, since yesterday. I do desire to be with him but I’m so emotional and I think I need to get myself together and calm down. I imagine he has started a relationship with someone else but he won’t answer that question either. Do you think it’s a chance after the 30 days that this situation has a chance? I will with all my might not contact him and work on being stronger regardless if we rekindle or not. Our relationship was good, not strong though we’ve never had major issues I do realize the lack of communication with each other if there were issues. What are your suggestions to this? Thank you
This is why it’s important that not only do his friends like you, but you need to make sure that they love you! Don’t come across as fake though, they’ll be able to see right through you. Instead, be cordial, be friendly, smile and laugh at their jokes. Become friends with his friends’ girlfriends, too. If you can make a good impression on his pals, their love for you may be more than enough for your guy to finally realize you’re The One, and he will be ready to finally settle down with you.

I don’t know if someone could give me an advice, or maybe i’ll be criticized but i need to tell someone my storry. It’s a bit large so i apologize but it’s because of how complicated things are. Three years ago i started working as a girl of “company” ( i don’t really like the other words that describe this job). On my sixth month i met Him. At first he was just one of my best clients. But we got to talk a lot and start knowing each other, so we fell in love. He says he fell in… Read more »


This has been a secret among us ladies for many years and has never failed us… It certainly never failed me and I’m living proof! It is a lot harder than it sounds though as if you love him, you will no doubt want to spend every minute with him and fighting against that feeling can be hard. Just because you are lessening the amount of texts and dates, doesn’t mean you can increase the amount of Facebook activity.
Go out with your pal "Rocco." Men have a problem with so-called guy friends, men with whom women claim to have platonic relationships. In fact, I use the term so-called because guys don't believe there is such a thing as a guy friend, especially when it comes to a girlfriend they care about. That's because they know how they themselves think. They know straight men pony up to women to get laid, not to talk about feelings. Trust me, if your guy isn't a complete idiot, he will definitely feel threatened by your buddy Rocco.
You have spent a month not contacting your ex. You spent that entire time working on yourself becoming more and more confident as the days past. Everything seemed to be going fine until you hit your first road block with a negative response. Make no mistake about it, negative responses are never good. However, they don’t EVER mean that you should give up right away. It just means you have to be smarter about how you approach things. Lets take a look at a negative response example (from my past) this is a true story.

Right now I am dealing with this myself. My boyfriend has, admittedly, got a lot going on right now. He said he’s not going to be able to get together for several days. I was irritated and unfortunately I let myself get angry with him. But now I’ve cooled down and I am sticking to my guns and NOT contacting him. I did send him a good morning text because I always do that, and he responded, but that’s it. I plan to be unavailable tonight if he calls me. I made plans to get together with a friend tomorrow night. I am going to give him MORE space than he wants…

This is why it’s important that not only do his friends like you, but you need to make sure that they love you! Don’t come across as fake though, they’ll be able to see right through you. Instead, be cordial, be friendly, smile and laugh at their jokes. Become friends with his friends’ girlfriends, too. If you can make a good impression on his pals, their love for you may be more than enough for your guy to finally realize you’re The One, and he will be ready to finally settle down with you.
A survey of 1,000 people by Lovehoney found 43% of women and female-identifying people had had sex with ex while they were looking for a new partner - the main reason was because they missed physical intimacy (42% of respondents). And almost a third (31%) said they had sex with the ex because they hoped to get back together with their former partner.
You hate cricket but pretend to follow it just for your boyfriend. If this has been going on for months, and one fine day you lose it and scream, “I just hate this game!” Be ready for the guy to scream back that he doesn’t like your chicken biryani (though he loved it last week). Consider this a turning point. Shah explains, “The first phase of the relationship is rosy. The real test is when you start speaking up frankly and that is the phase of acceptance. In this phase, you want the other person to accept you as well as be your own self in different situations. The Reiss Wheel Theory of Love states that the second phase is when the worst in people shows up. Things such as their limitations and how the other person takes it calls whether you want to continue or give up.”

Hi Chris – My boyfriend (well now ex boyfriend) of 2 years just broke up with me a week ago. He is 33, I am 25. We met on the mountain, ski coaching to be exact. He does it full time (Tuesdays – Sundays) while I only do it part time along with my full time job (November – April, 7 days a week). A co-worker of ours set us up. We had been coaching with each other for a couple of years by that point and she could just see that we were perfect for each other. I was a little hesitant at first, I had never dated someone who what that much older than me. But when I was with him, it never seemed weird or like we were at a different point in our lives. The first year was bliss, we were not living with each other at that point so we were constantly looking forward to seeing each other. There was excitement.

Hi, I had been dating a guy for 2.5 years, he’s a Muslim and I’m a Christian,during this time he was completely in love with me and he has done a lottttt of things to keep me happy and to show how much he loves me... because he was never like this and I could feel it and even his family and friends had told me that he has never been soooo serious before for any girl and I myself felt his love for me then... and I had amazing connections with his family and even most of his relatives side knew me.. though we used to fight a lot we always managed to get back and love each other more.. but the few days before the breakup we had been fighting and that is when he went to his cousins place far from where we live .. he stayed at his ex’s place who is his cousin and he had dated her for 2 years before me ... and he suddenly started getting feelings for her and they were so strong that he went and told her mom that he wants to get married to her and even kissed her and stuff ... but then after he came back from there he has ditched her a million times already by kissing me and getting physical with me and even after that girl knew this she accepted him like twice .. and when there were problems in their relationship ( now it’s almost 2 months since we broke up and since he’s got into a relation with her ) he used to come to me asking if I will or will not give him another chance and that he loves me .. this has happened twice and both the times I used to agree and then we used to get physical ...I have come out of my country that means we don’t meet and he doesn’t even talk ( I have broken 4 rules which are mentioned above because I hadn’t read the article before) so now my ex says he doesn’t want me at all and he doesn’t love me...and again their marriage is fixed like they say they’ll get married after 5 years once he has achieved something in life ..both of us are 20 and his present girlfriend is 18...in this situation where families are involved and where he claims to love her soooo much will is till be able to get him back? Please help ... is it still possible ?
My girlfriend of almost 2 years just broke up with me. We were best friends and did everything together. I was emotionally supportive at most times and that was one of her biggest complaints. When she broke up with me she said it was because she was emotionally detached from me and that ive been un-supportive for too long. I went through the phase the first few days of panicking with nonstop calls and texts (then i found this). It has been really hard not to talk to her because we hung out every single day and talked non stop. There were definitely fights where we both got angry and said harsh things but we always sat down and resolved them. She told me she has no interest in talking to me. I would take her back in a heart beat though. She still has pictures of us on her social media and hasnt blocked me. She also said she still cares about me as a person but doesnt love me and wants me to not talk to her so we can both "move on and process the breakup". Shes also spent the last few days getting wasted with her friends. What do you think about my situation?
I followed the no contact rule … it’s the 19th day today .. I had to text him yet because of a death in his family … and I got to know about a lot of things which only show that the negativity is still there in him .. he has blocked me off on whatsapp yesterday (the only place I wasn’t blocked on ) even when I dint text him anything else …everyone is just telling me what I’m doing is never going to work and that he’s never going to come back with this behaviour of your because he’s very very very scared to lose that girl .. should I still wait and give it a little more time because it’s still possible or what do I do ? I tried distracting myself .. on self improvement.. but these things just come up and now I’m completely demotivated… I really love him and I really want him back …
Hi, I need some major help. I am 46 and found the woman of my dreams. Our relationship was great, but all of the sudden out of the blue she said that "she loves me, but is not in love with me". I knew this was not the case by her actions, she was very loving, intimate, and by how she looked at me. that was on a Tuesday. I kept in contact with her for a couple days and found out that she was not in the same place I was in the relationship. She said that she felt nervous and rushed into the relationship and was not ready to take it to the next step. On Thursday, she broke it off with me and said she needed time to to think. Well, I was stupid and kept sending her messages and trying to talk to her because it was just such a shock to me, I was having a very hard time understanding. On Saturday, she blocked all my accounts and said she would contact me "If and when she was ready". I have NO CLUE what to do now. Obviously there will not be any other contact unless she initiates it. I know I have to do the no contact now, but is it too late? Is there anything I can do to fix this? She gave me a whole 48 hours after the breakup to calm down and understand and give her the space she needs. PLEASE HELP!!

If you want him to miss you, you can use social media as your advantage. Update your social media feed so he can see all the fun you’re having. Guys are definitely more visual creatures so give him something good to look it and he’ll be hooked, which brings you to the next step. But make sure you do not fabricate fake posts, just be you, be fun, and be authentic.
I suggest that working towards getting the fling back isn't the most healthy of options and you should just be honest with your feelings towards him. Keep in mind that you should be mentally prepared for the worst because flings often end with one person getting hurt especially when the other person may not have been entirely serious about you in the first place.
Do not say yes every time he asks you out Saying sorry, I’m busy, to every third or fourth date guarantees to keep him interested and challenged to win you over. If he asks you why you are busy keep it vague saying you already had plans for that night. Then suggest the following evening. That is all he needs to know. He will wonder if there is another man in the picture and that will set off his hunter instincts. This will drive him mad with desire trying to figure out where you are and who you are with.
My ex and I were together for 7 years. In the first year, he looked at some messages and caught me messing around. But i was a kid (19) and we moved past it, it meant nothing. we've been so happy since then, and i never fooled around ever again. i fell in love with my boyfriend so hard. fast forward 6 years to now, he randomly looked at my chat with a friend while we were in a fight (i know hes never done this, not sure what prompted him to do it this time. everything happens for a reason tho bc this was the first time i had some scandalous stuff in my messages.) my messages showed my recent dumb move, i was pulling this crazy long trick on a friend (it spiraled out of control, i lied about details etc...) saying i was cheating when i wasnt. the lies were elaborate and stupid, where i talked about hooking up with someone when i havent even looked in anyone else's direction in reality. (it's silly i know, but my therapist said it has a lot to do with the meds i was on for adhd recently.) anyways, my boyfriend saw this stuff, and told me i have serious issues and that he cant trust me anymore. has told me to get lost for life. doesnt even wanna talk about it. hes oddly very calm and has told me he wont be changing his mind, this is the end and i should really move on because he is well on his way. we broke up and i did everything based on my emotions, send texts, emails, letters, and begged at his place. he told me if i dont stop he's gonna call the cops, and that none of my crying or begging has any effect on him anymore. he says he thought about what happened and he deserves better and wants to move on. ive been getting help and i really would do anything to have him back. i sent a final 8 pg letter yesterday explaining that i am not a cheater, or a liar, or crazy, and that im getting therapy and making changes in my life, and that i would like to speak to him again when i am better. he texted me saying, "good for you. i hope you make changes and i know you will make someone else happy in this life once u do that. im not changing my mind unfortunately, i wish you nothing but the best, please move on." it broke my heart. we are good together. i don't know how he easily moved on so quick, but we both know he can. he's a mature, principaled man. i'd like to do NC, but I dont want him to move on for good during NC. i know he's trying to cut me out of his life bc he's done with me. but i dont want to lose him forever. hes the love of my life. He loved me and treated me amazing. what do you think i should do?
As he saw the impact of his new listening skills Peter all the more conscientiously dug into learning all he could from his relationship skills book, workbook and online program.  He realized that prior to the relationship breakup he had had no idea of what a high-skilled activity sustaining a loving partnership was.  Now that he understood the potency of collaborative dialogue, conflict resolution and emotional self-regulation skills he studied intensely every night as if he was preparing for exams.
I know this is hard and I am so sorry that you are going through this. You have dated a man that is emotionally unavailable and is following the same pattern that he had in his life. You mentioned his father never married his mother so this is an issue that he has to overcome himself. This is his past playing into his life now. You have to make yourself less available to him and understand that you deserve more than this. I would encourage you to book a session with me or a male coach on my team so we can help you during this time. You can reach out to me on my contact page. If so please state you messaged me on my blog so I can remember. We are here if you need further guidance.
Gentlemen, if you think your lady is special please let her know. One of the biggest complaints I hear from my fellow women in relationships is that they feel unappreciated.  The best way to let your lady know that you appreciate her is to tell her and show her.  We love hearing that you adore us and appreciate everything we do (and please give some specifics so we know you are noticing everything).
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