Answer: You can’t make someone be at the same place as you. The only thing you can do is give him the space he needs to figure out if he wants to join you or move on. Let him go and figure things out, and if he is ready to move forward with you, he’ll let you know. Pushing him is only going to drive him farther away and will make him think you aren’t the one. [Read: The 10 best kept secrets to making a man commit to you]
I have this guy I’ve been dating off & on for the past 2years but we’ve been back seriously together for 8months now but suddenly few days back he just decide that he can’t go on with the relationship anymore that he feels the relationship lack trust meanwhile I’ve been 100% honest & loyal to him and he’s not get in touch with me since the which I did not aswell buh he watched my whatsapp status evrytime Wich I don’t do to his…..I’m really hurt please what should I do I need your advice??

I never dated this guy but we had a fling for over a year now and we both established that we liked each other but agreed that we shouldn't date just yet. one day out of the blue, he starts ignoring me and completely cuts off contact. he seemed annoyed by me so i stopped contacting him too. it's been 5 months now but i still want him to talk to me like he used to and keep this fling going that could eventually end in us dating. should i just let it go or should i reach out to him? and how could i reach out to him without making it seem awkward or desperate?
This may or may not work, but I think it’s your best shot given the distance issue. The Philippines is overrun with women that like Western men anyway so even if she doesn’t come through, I’m sure you can meet other women anyway, maybe online. That can be the backup plan and you may find someone that you like even better when over there. So, that’s what I would do!
He broke up with me first: he said that it was because he felt like we didn’t have a future together, that it felt impossible that i learned the language ( which i was doing), that I was asking for too much of his time, that he didn’t feel like he could do all the things he wanted with his friends. but I couldn’t accept it, I wanted to fight for the love we had, so much, I negociated, I asked for more time, I begged, I told him that if he still loved me it would be worth it. after a day of speaking he said ok. A week after I asked him again ( because I was afraid and I had been walking on eggshells all week), he said that he still had that feeling that we wouldn’t be together forever, but he told me he loved me and he really wanted to work for it, to work on it and make it work! ( i was so happy!)

Hi, I’m Summer. My boyfriend and I recently broke up about 5 days who. It was pretty mutual. We both haven’t felt as happy as we used to lately, which I regret ever feeling that way. I just wanted to work things out, but he supposed a breakup was better for us. Now that we’re not together nothing feels right and I feel like I’ve lost my other half. We bith agreeed to remain friends but obviously it’s not the same. I’m currently starting with no contact which is super difficult since I ran into him yesterday. We asked how each other were and as I walked away he opened his arms to hug me. I was surprised. I would just like some advice as to rekindle our romantic relationship and be with him, for good.
#9 He knows it isn’t right but doesn’t know how to tell you. He may love you but may not be in love with you. Yes, that sounds like a cliché, but it’s a real thing. He cares a great deal for you, but that romantic love for you just may not be there. That last thing he wants to do is hurt your feelings, so he may become distant while he tries to figure out how to approach you about it.
I'm now stuck. We talk often and he regularly gets flirty (though he still has resentful moments), and we don't fight at all anymore and haven't for months. We have a lot of banter where we playfully tease each other as well. However, if I ask to meet, he says no, and explains that he believes we are only getting along well because he is "keeping me at arm's length" and that if we get closer we will fight like we used to.
all said and done, i accepted this breakup gracefully and did not beg, pled, etc. to get her back. i was devastated for past 14 days up to now, and i recently found out she told our mutual friend that she feels my insecurity has gotten out of way (i was shocked because i didn't show any sign or do anything to show her that). maybe once, where i ask why are u comparing my size with her gym friends. do u think me being smaller size has anything to do with ur gym friends who are so big in size? maybe its true i have some insecurities, but it HAS NOT gotten out of way. i was rude in that conversation.

He broke up with me last week because he didn't feel it was right anymore. He said didn't love me anymore. He didn't imagine me in his future anymore. He said he hasn't been feeling the same feeling from when we started dating for two months. He didn't tell me right away because he wanted to love me. He wanted to believe he loved me. He said he wished he loved me and that we worked out. He apologised to me for not feeling the same way anymore.


Trust your instincts from the very first contact with a potential boyfriend.  Did he get a little too drunk on your initial dates?  A man who can’t get through the early stages of a relationship without using alcohol may have substance abuse issues.  Is he perpetually late, always offering bogus excuses?  He doesn’t value your time so don’t expect him to suddenly be punctual when you need him to be somewhere important.  Do you get a sense he is hiding something when he finds reasons why you can never come to his place?  Key into your visceral responses when you pick up vibes that don’t sit right with you.  Don’t make the mistake so many women make, thinking that all these negative behaviors will change once he falls in love with you.  They won’t.  They may even get worse.
So I met this guy about 3 weeks ago online and if was very much like the scenario you showed in your video. At least for the first week. I was then out of town for a week preparing to move my stuff to another state. He flew out to hel0 me drive the truck. However, since returning, it feels like he’s pulling away. I’m giving him the space, but I fear he won’t come back. Any suggestion?

This is important for you and for him.    Your body and mind are reflections of your well-being so devote time and money to your self-care.  Your man is attached to you both emotionally and physically, so it is worth maintaining both your outward appearance and your mental health by paying attention to their good working state.  Don’t let yourself go.  Eat healthfully and incorporate physical movement into your day.  Take time to practice activities that nourish your spirit and challenge your mind.
Have you ever found yourself dating a guy who seems perfect in the beginning, only to find out later that he was a bad choice? Are you having a difficult time finding love? The possibilities are you are taking the wrong steps and are in need of relationship advice for women. You might want to have a romantic relationship with the most perfect person. It is never too late to change the romance stars and bring back love and happiness into your life.
Hi! My boyfriend of just under 1 year broke up with me a few days ago. We were the perfect couple, incredibly similar and always had an amazing time together. However there was one issue that popped up time and time again. He wanted to go out clubbing with his friends, but never wanted me to go with him. I felt incredibly neglected and became insecure because I felt like he didn't want to be around me. This would in turn bring about arguments. We broke up in a friendly way, he told me that this decision was breaking his heart but that he didn't see anything changing because the issue kept coming up. He told me I am the best girlfriend he's ever had, and would definitely miss me, but that his decision was made because due to the fighting, he believed he had lost his feelings for me. Further, he believed our similarity was a bad thing, even though we never had any issues or arguments about anything we ever agreed on. Since we broke up we have been in no contact, apart from the day after we broke up where I phoned him crying and sent him a couple of texts trying to convince him that he'd made a mistake. He is incredibly stubborn and I have this feeling that even if he realised he made a mistake, his stubbornness would stop him from reaching out to me. I want him back, and have realised how my insecurities pushed him away. I'm in the process of following all your steps so that I have the best chance of getting him back, because other than this one issue, we are perfect together. My question now, is after so much reflecting I've realised how I contributed to the break up and learnt how I can fix this if we tried again. So I was considering an "elephant in the room" text to let him know how much I've realised and learnt, but I'm worried about appearing desperate which is not my aim. Should I send him a text outlining what I've discovered, but end it in a way where it shows I'm not expecting a response or a second chance? or should I continue my no contact period?

Since men are by nature visual creatures who tend to be drawn to a woman based soley on the physical attraction and the chemistry he feels with her, many men tend to make poor, long-term dating choices. This type of attraction is understandable and should not be ignored when choosing a partner, but what most men fail to do is combine these biological feelings with what they require in a relationship to make them truly happy.


You've been seeing this guy at least once a week for a few months now. You're both sushi aficionados, his big brown eyes make you melt, and he even laughs out loud at The Mindy Project. It's great—except that you have no idea where things stand. He has yet to introduce you as his girlfriend or bring up being exclusive, and you're craving that "couple" title and the security that comes with it. Talk about blurred lines.
Make sure you give the one you are with the proper time, attention, and affection. Don’t make her question why you aren’t texting back as quickly as you used to or why every date night has turned into “Netflix and Chill”. Don’t be lazy and don’t take her love for granted. If you stop making the effort, she will be tempted to leave your dumb @$$ when she finds someone who will.
all said and done, i accepted this breakup gracefully and did not beg, pled, etc. to get her back. i was devastated for past 14 days up to now, and i recently found out she told our mutual friend that she feels my insecurity has gotten out of way (i was shocked because i didn't show any sign or do anything to show her that). maybe once, where i ask why are u comparing my size with her gym friends. do u think me being smaller size has anything to do with ur gym friends who are so big in size? maybe its true i have some insecurities, but it HAS NOT gotten out of way. i was rude in that conversation.
Maybe he’s super attentive and into you one minute and the next he can’t be bothered. This can feel jarring. Consistency is comforting, but people aren’t always consistent, and routines can change with circumstances. Those circumstances could be work-related or he could be having family issues, and these aren’t necessarily things he’ll want to talk about.

The day we broke up, we went out fishing with two friends and it was really cool, and we went to see some of his friends play handball ( which is a very important part of his liife, but i have never played, so don’t really care, but I wanted to make the effort for him and to be with him). I was doing so good until he decided to go play ball with his friends during half time, leaving me alone on my chair, while I had come to be with him. There were two people I had talked to before close by ( which was his excuse to leave me) but they were talking the foreign language and imagine how hard it is to engage in the conversation when you don’t know what it,s about and you need to switch language… So i got mad at him and told him it wasn’t cool to leave me on my own.


Don’t make him a priority. Instead of carrying on with your life as normal, you decide to make him the center of your universe. You cancel plans with your friends to hang out with him, you change your Facebook relationship status, you even daydream about what he’d look like in a tux on our wedding day. This is all so very wrong. It’s still the very early stages, so he shouldn’t automatically earn a top spot in your life—at least not for a while yet.


First things first, you are going to become the sexiest version of yourself that the world has ever seen. Let’s say you and I were dating and we had a fight and broke up (I know I am a horrible boyfriend 😉 .) Anyways, after a month of you basically freezing me out (no contact) I happen to bump into you at a Starbucks or somewhere where we both frequented. The first thought I have of our encounter will be based on the choices that you made during the 30 day no contact period. If you sat around feeling sorry for yourself and ate ice cream on the couch all day I will probably think “she looks terrible.” However, if you spent that no contact time working on yourself physically and mentally I am probably going to think “WOW! She is even more beautiful than I remember.”
You need to rely on your intuitions when you meet someone new. Nevertheless, avoid being judgmental or picky from the beginning. It is vital for you to be open-minded. In fact, you should stop overanalyzing every single aspect. Things work out in a better way when you take it easy for the first few weeks. This will also help you to get to know the guy better.
Most pre-teen boys, though not yet sprouting facial hair, somehow have the uncanny ability to nail down every last detail of their dream vehicle.  Could it go from zero to sixty in three seconds flat?  Would it have 4, 6, or 8 cylinders?  How about those coveted rims, 4 wheel lift, doors, panels, and hardware?  The list is as endless as the options are available.
maybe you should lead someone on for as long as you do before showing that kind of attention back. and you wonder why men think their not good enough for you resulting in pulling away. not being funny but too many women out there expect the men to try try and try only for THEM to get the so called ‘reward’. ever considered making it a mutual thing and not all female onesided letting the man feel like he has to earn some kind of reward..
A man should allow a woman to completely express her concerns without feeling that they have to “fix it.” This enables her to feel validated and him to better address her needs. I am not advocating for a man to remain silent and not to provide his feedback. I am stressing that by simply listening to her in an earnest way, he is helping her work through her issues/problems.
P.S – When you start to respect and honour your own deep desire for connection, and when you embody your vulnerability with men (or people in general), you can start to get annoyed with surface people, and people who hide away. You start to dislike the surface culture. Remember to be patient with people. You don’t want to make what they do ‘wrong’, because that keeps you in the old cycle of fear or separation. Just respect that it is there for a reason, and people are like that for a reason

Men don’t commit because they know they don’t have to. They know that you won’t leave them and even if you do leave,there will be some thirsty female out there that will be all too happy to pick up right where you left off. They believe that they are God’s gift to women. They will never realize that women are God’s gift to men. And most women do not recognize their value. And a large amount of women more than likely believe that they don’t have any.
However, something I’ve noticed men despise about their dates—it’s when their date expects them to pay for the meal, because they’re male. This doesn’t just pull them away, it turns them off. This problem manifests itself if they feel like you haven’t appreciated their efforts. Don’t be that girl. The first impression you give is usually the only impression you’re remembered for, especially if it doesn’t get past the first date. Most men aren’t so keen to fund the lifestyle of someone they’re not sure what their intentions are: “What exactly does she want me for me?” Or, “Is she only after me for my money?”
It may sound like common sense but you’d be surprised to know that many people hope to get back with someone they deeply care for, but do nothing to change some of their negative habits or behaviors. Most of the time there are no magic tricks or quick fixes that can bring back the one you love into your life if you haven’t sorted out some of the negative behaviors from your previous relationship.
Katie Davies Katie Davies is a freelance writer and blogger from England. In between cups of coffee, she has written for a number of businesses and publications on her three favorite subjects of fashion, travel and dating. She loves to use her personal knowledge and previous experiences to help others through her writing and blogs weekly at www.katiekat.co.uk.
Get some new clothes. New times call for new duds. It's a subtle change in you, but the importance will be clear to her: your new outer shell will signal deeper changes underneath. Get that new shirt that you've been wanting to buy, or those new pair of jeans. Looking sharp is an important aspect of physical attraction, and if she sees you looking great in unfamiliar clothes, she'll sense that there's been forward movement, if not wholesale change.
And next week in dating app i created different account and i played prank & manipulation with him for fun and got to know so many unknown things from him. And after that for one week i did not replied for his texts and call and he has unfriend me in Facebook. After few days in July first week i replied to him and said sorry for not replying to your calls and texts and also played prank and asked him to meet casually and he said i will let you know. But it did not happened. Again on 9-Jul i called him and said want to talk with you due to signal issue we couldn’t talk and He replied in whatsApp that he will call or message to me but he has not done anything so i did NC(No Contact) for 25 days and in that period i changed myself and understood so many things & mistakes what i have done.
Im in the current situation right now… He wants space for me being paranoid for past few weeks.. I really dont know wat to do, he is so busy and stressed from work.. He asked for space, i ask him if he is breaking up with me he said no he just need time and space for the meantime… Need your advice please… I dont want us to be apart i really love him..
One reason that you may not even be aware of is an issue called receptive desire, Mintz says. "As a woman ages and the relationship goes on, [many] stop being spontaneously horny," she explains. "A lot of men and women don't know this, so they wait to be [turned on] to have sex...But you can have sex to get [turned on], rather than wait to be [turned on] to have sex."
Your main goal in this section is to just open up communication. Remember though, you want to be in control at all times. That means that YOU have to be the one to end the conversation. To make matters more complicated you can’t get into a full blown conversation with him yet. This is simply a small baby step that you are using to test the waters and gauge where you are at.
"Be more assertive if you're interested in a guy. Sometimes reading signals from women feels a bit like reading brail if you're not blind. There are a lot of ways a girl can show she's interested without going overboard, like a subtle touch or giving a little extra attention at a party. If a guy knows you're interested there's a big chance he'll become interested too." Josh F
Avoiding contact is not just a passive-aggressive way to make your ex miss you. It gives you time to do the things you need to do to prepare yourself for a new relationship (whether it's with your ex or someone new!). Take time during this month to get to know yourself as an individual and to work on areas that you may have let slip during your relationship with your ex. If you contributed to the breakup, this is the time to pinpoint your relationship weaknesses and do the hard work to improve as a human being.
Hello. How can I arrange a phone consultation with you, Eric? Your straight-forward advice sounds reasonable and sound to me. I am in a 4-month old relationship with my boyfriend. I love him and he says he loves me, but he says he is afraid of hurting me. He confessed that he loves the excitement and euphoria when a relationship is new but gets bored and dissatisfied when the newness wears off. He is afraid that this will happen again and he will hurt me. He said I’m the best thing that has ever happened to him, that I treat him better than any other woman he’s ever been with and that he wants me in his life forever, even if that mean just being friends later. He hasn’t asked me to move in, hasn’t discussed marriage, but says he wants a future a with me. I don’t get this at all. My gut tells me he loves me but not enough. I want a future with him, including the whole ball of wax of marriage, but he says he doesn’t know if he wants to marry me or not, that we should just enjoy each other and live day to day. Sounds like bs to me. But I find it hard to be objective. He has been hurt deeply by past women who have betrayed and used him. I need help figuring this all out. Thank you very much.

Hi Lauren... Please please help me My ex broke up with me three weeks ago. After the break up I begged him for two days. Then I did no contact for a week and tried to reconcile which lead to me begging again for two days when he said no. So now I have done a no contact for two weeks . He hasn't been in touch with me since. I am worried he may never get in touch again. It is a long distance relationship and difficult to go and see him anytime. Why did we break up? We argued about something...he ignored me for few days then when we spoke I basically shouted at him for ignoring me we then got into a massive row and said things back and forth which resulted in him saying 'I can't do this anymore it's over,' Lauren, we had broken up before and it took us six months to get back together because in that six months we were both going back and forth, when he was ignoring me I wasn't and when I was ignoring him he wasn't, we went back and forth like this for a while until eventually we both just kissed and made up and it was all good for a month until the next row. I feel that when we are together we never argue but when we talk on the phone we argue. I explained this to him, but he doesn't seem to listen or care about how good we are and does not wanna work on this relationship anymore. Please advise what I can do.... ...
This is one the first steps in commitment and should happen around a few months into the relationship. If it doesn’t, gently ask about meeting his family. You can bring it up naturally in a conversation when he is already talking about them so as to not add pressure. If he says that he will take you to meet them soon, just take it for now and don’t push for an exact date and time.
Ok, the first tactic is from my own experience. I don’t have any research to back it up but I feel it will work because it worked on me. One thing that always made me a bit jealous (even though I never voice it) was when a girl I felt really strongly about has a bunch of pictures with a bunch of different guys on her Facebook profile. I know that sounds ridiculous but it legitimately made me like “Damn, that guy got to be in her presence.” Here is the key though, if I felt strongly about a girl (who was single) and I saw a bunch of pictures of her getting totally drunk and making out with a bunch of guys I will no longer feel strongly about her. In fact, I might lose interest entirely. So, I would say that your best bet would be to post innocent pictures with other guys. The key is to be really subtle about it but trust me if your man has a Facebook I promise you he will check your profile from time to time.

Since the answer to the eternal puzzle of how to make a guy commit has been answered, what are you waiting for? Try our tips out on your date, your boyfriend or the eternal frat boy you just haven’t seemed to be able to convince to commit for a long time. Make sur ethat you are both on the same level and that you have not mistakenly misread any signs along the way. We’re almost sure he won’t resist your charm and he’ll be a changed man in no time. That works for us ladies, doesn’t it?


Only he knows how he is feeling and it is impossible to second guess the reasons. The advise here that I would give (and this is my own personal opinion, everyone should do what feels right for them) is to ease the focus away from him and put it back onto yourself. Appreciate your own worth, keep yourself busy doing things that you enjoy, try to refrain from thinking about it all too much and remember that if he is the right guy for you, he will be in touch. No amount of texting or calling will change anything. If he does pull back too much, then do the same.
Ok so I don’t know how to start. My boyfriend and I had a 5 year age gap. And I recently just had him end a relationship of 1 year and like 9 months. We met on Facebook through a mutual friend and talked for a couple weeks in the beginning of Dec. 2016 until his birthday in January of 2017. Three days after his birthday party he invited me back over to hangout with him and the female mutual friend (who I met through work, she was like his older sister, she told me. And his neighbor) Anyway it was just me and him hanging out for a few hours and by the end of the night he romantically asked me to be his girlfriend, because we talked for weeks before meeting and he wanted to exclusively see me and date. I said yes. Fast forward maybe a month or a couple months and things were going great. We hungout on weekends, he came into my work to see me right after he got out from work almost every other day. It was very sweet. We went to movies, we went to his friends & his parents and were doing all kinds of stuff. People I knew from work would come to his house and hangout, watch movies, play games etc. Then I finally confessed to my parents that I was staying at his house (basically living there, I stayed 3 or more nights with him.) Everythjng was exciting and fun & sweet. Fast forward a week maybe and he asked me to move in. I said yes and told my parents my decision. I’m a cluttery/messy person.. and he’s OCD. Anyway after we were together over a year he said that maybe we should break up. He said he loved me very much but the house was always a mess (and I was working a ton of late nights as a pharmacy tech & always studying so I was tired. ) He told me the house being dirty was depressing and things with our relationship weren’t as exciting as the beginning. I managed to ask him to give me another try, I promised to keep the house clean & to do more activities with him. For a few months things were great, we went to his friends almost every weekend. We enjoyed activities with his & my parents. And we still hungout with our mutual friend (his neighbor).i ended up quitting my job and we went to Florida for 2weeks. We stayed with his family along the way and I met everyone. That was this past april. Things were great. We even recently went to Wisconsin together for a family wedding. Then tragedy hit over 10 days ago. His parents had moved down south before April, and I knew he missed them a lot. He rarely spoke compared to his every day phone calls with them. They were always busy now. So he invited one of his best friends to stay for a week with us to kinda pick himself back up I guess. It created tensions between us. We went to get him downstate for the weekend and I don’t like doing things outdoors/active.. idk why. Anyway ever since then he stopped holding my hand & kissing me goodbye before work. He even stopped kissing me when he got home from work, he withdrew from me almost completely, and I’ve always been clingy. But I was coming up on 7 months with no work and money was tight so I blamed it on that. Long story short he broke up with me 10 days ago. He said we are two different people and he needs an active and clean/neat partner. And I need someone to motivate and wake me up when repetition happens because I can deal with the same thing everyday. But not him. So for the past 7 months I’ve been trying to sell soaps. And he hasn’t been exactly supportive. He doesn’t talk about it. We would fight because he wouldn’t say anything positive he just would say oh cool. But he wasn’t negative or thought it was stupid either, I got his mom into the hobby. I miss him now. I don’t know if he will ever comeback. I’m desparate.. I was with him for almost 2 years, so many memories, i moved in with him and left my family & friends behind. They lived 30 minutes from where we lived. Nobody ever visited because of distance. I was ready to marry him, and at one point he did too. But the day we broke up he said something was missing in his life and he needed time alone. I have so much I could say, but this is already too long. And I recently made an okcupid account and found he had reactivsted his old one. I am so depressed that he’s moving on already. He didn’t want to give me anymore chances to change and he didn’t want to fix things.. But he swore up and down he’s always supported and loved me. He said he still loves me but we don’t work. Somebody please reply, I’m losing my best friend and the man I love. I know couples can change & grow together in relationships, I just feel because he’s depressed and isolated from everybody hat he’s pushing me away too.. I can do but leave him alone because he doesn’t like to message me anymore. I had a new phone he persuaded me to get with him when he wanted one too, everything was contract & in his name. It was a hassle to get it switched back to me & make payments w/o a job. Same with my car insurance. We were looking at houses and everything. It was like overnight he changed..
If your ex has fallen into the friend zone (for example, if he or she says "I'm no longer in love with you"), you might be able to recreate the experience of falling in love by building intimacy with your ex. In one study, a researcher had two strangers stare into each other's eyes and then answer personal questions (like "What is your biggest fear?" and "What is your best memory from childhood?"). They were able to create an intimate bond between the strangers, creating attraction and even the feelings of love. Try spending time looking into your ex's eyes and asking deep questions and see if this helps move your relationship back into intimate territory.[12]
Sorry in advance for this being a bit long. My ex and I were together for about 3 months and we were both really happy during that time. Towards the end though she started stressing at the idea of committing to a relationship. I also was panicking because she has lots of guy friends and she was hanging out with one of them a lot more than normal(But now I know there was never anything between them). She started distancing herself and stopped talking to me and after a month of this I told her that she needs to tell me what's wrong because I couldn't go on in the relationship without any communication from her. She apologized and said that we should just be friends. For the next week I was openly sad, even with her around because we work together. Eventually I just started NC and went for 2 weeks. After that I tried talking again and after a week I realized that I still wasn't ready so I did NC for a month. She tried contacting me multiple times during this. After the month she texted and apologized for everything that had happened and she wanted things to go back to the way they were between us (she wanted us to be just friends but still talk to each other like we used to). I decided ok she misses me it's only a matter of time so we got really close for the next 2 months and really seemed like she was attracted to me again. Then I started to panic because I knew I would eventually have to ask her if she wanted to get back together. So I stopped talking because that's what happens when I stress. She noticed then asked what was wrong and I told her that I had feelings for her again and I understood that she probably didn't feel the same but I just had to let her know how I felt. She didn't respond much to that so I did another no contact for 2 months she only tried to contact me once. After the 2 months I apologized and since then we have been closer than the first NC but not as close as when we were together. She's been going hot and cold lately though. Like one day we'd be talking and is feel like wow this is just like the good old days I love her and others she's just giving one word responses and I'm left with a headache because I over think everything. What should I Do? Sorry this was so long and thanks for reading it.

Women are more concerned with keeping a sense of freedom then settling down, and they are not being honest when it comes time to reveal their true intentions. You thought men had the player game down? Well, there are some pretty slick women out there who will have a guy go broke before she tells him she is looking for no more than maintenance sex while she plays the field.
Hello, I have a question that has been of concern to me. So I'm almost to the end of no contact, and I would like to send a short letter to wipe the slate clean... however, she has moved and I dont know the address. I made a mistake during the breakup involving social media and she blocked me on facebook... but is still open to texting. She and I work in the same city, maybe 5 minutes apart or less... so I thought maybe I could leave the letter on her car one night after i get off(but I am really worried that it'll come off as creepy stalker), I dont think she'd even read an email, and we were together 9 months so I dont think texting would be my best option. Ideas?

This cannot be considered acceptable due to one person’s higher testosterone levels. . Even with his extenuating circumstances, this departure went far beyond any excusable or understandable behavior, and it devastated me, causing me to question many things I thought were firm, honest beliefs. Nothing I had done or we had weathered warranted an abrupt-almost deliberately cruel departure. I get what so many people are saying here. We ‘get’ men need more space, but, many learn to use this as license to avoid painful conflicts or act horridly. It’s as much give & take as everything in love & some men take their fill, with no responsibility felt to give the most basic of human actions. Great article. Cut close.

I'm now stuck. We talk often and he regularly gets flirty (though he still has resentful moments), and we don't fight at all anymore and haven't for months. We have a lot of banter where we playfully tease each other as well. However, if I ask to meet, he says no, and explains that he believes we are only getting along well because he is "keeping me at arm's length" and that if we get closer we will fight like we used to.
Hi Lauren- I broke up with my ex the night before he was moving out of state (not cool, I know). I needed some time to figure things out and work on myself. I want to try again. I wrote him an apology for ending things the way I did 2.5 weeks ago with no response (he also did not respond to a simple email about his mail 1 month ago). Is it still a good idea to send the "I want to try again" letter? I'm at a loss what to do. Our relationship was not bad, but he was pulling away and I didn't know what to do so I ran. He seems either angry or distant or not wanting to engage and since it has been 2 months I'm not sure how much more time I should give this. I feel like we could have something wonderful given another chance (I have the tools now but I'm not sure he is ready to try). Do I call and say it? Send a letter? Send an email? Do nothing? I am in CA and he is in MO so meeting would be hard, but I would be willing to go out there for a weekend. I really want to try but I don't know what to do... If he doesn't want to try I will accept that and move on. Carrie...
Remember, the no contact rule isn’t about him, it’s about you. You’re not cutting off contact to try to spite him, you’re giving yourself time and space to heal from the breakup. That is the goal. The byproduct is that he will most likely miss you during this time and yearn for you and while he’s doing that, you’re becoming a better and stronger version of yourself!
Act like nothing is wrong. Even if your guts are tumbling like clothes in a washing machine, try not to let her know. She's probably not going to want you back if you're acting depressed, mopey, or sulky. Make sure you're laughing and genuinely trying to have a good time. You might find that you've become a happier person along the way. If you are feeling depressed, surround yourself with friends or family. Don't wait alone in a corner and just hope for her to come back to you.

One of the best ways to make a guy miss you is to have fun without him. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but your guy wants to be the only thing that makes you happy. If you’re having fun without him (a girls’ night out, some really cool skydiving lessons, etc.), then he’s going to want to be part of the fun. Men like to be the ones to make you smile, and if you’re smiling without him he’ll notice and he’ll pay more attention.
Men do enjoy being in relationships (when it’s with the right woman, that is), but at the same time, most men have a huge fear of losing their freedom and getting trapped in a situation with a woman who sucks them dry and leaves them feeling drained and uninspired. A man will feel “free” in a relationship when he’s with a woman who is whole and fulfilled in her life and doesn’t rely on the relationship to meet her every need.
You may consider that many of the words you say are spoken to make yourself look cool, smart, in control, and consistent (feminine energy NEVER is consistent, though). We change with the weather. We change with other people’s emotions. We are naturally responsive creatures that have had that intelligent responsiveness conditioned out of us in order to go to school, go to work, fit in to a group of ‘average’ friends…
Well, one thing is for certain, you have the right idea. It’s just maybe your execution is wrong. It’s always true: absence does make the heart grow fonder. You can have a person become closer and more attached to you if you take some time apart for a bit; as ironic as that may seem. When you’re truly in love with someone, you’re going to miss that person whenever they’re not around. And the more that you miss that person, the more that you’re going to look forward to seeing them again – and by extension, the more that you’re going to appreciate whatever time that you can get to spend with one another.
The way you communicate with her via text and in calls will need to change. Given that you’re in a breakup you’ve probably been doing it completely wrong, replying instantly to her messages even though she takes hours to get back to you. This has to stop, and you need to start communicating in a more attractive way, after the no contact period. That’s why I’m going to teach you how to get your ex-girlfriend back fast by text message, although be aware, texts are only part of it.
Women often pull away because there is something wrong within their relationship, whereas men will pull away just because they need to constantly adjust to the direction they are heading. Because women pull away when there is a problem, they automatically think the same must be said for men, when it is likely just the male’s need for a little space.
My man is going through a withdrawal period now, and I won’t lie, it’s tough. But anyway the fact is that when he withdraws, as a woman you feel like he doesn’t care anymore, he’s pulling a slow fade, he’s toying with me. This may be true, especially if he’s generally uncaring, treata you like crap, i.e. if there was never that connection between the two of you. However if the man has never given you a reason to not trust him, then maybe you must acknowledge that yours fears are just fears – not based on any factual evidence.
We both met through gay dating app in Feb-2018 and loved each other for 3 months and both used to express our love indirectly where my boyfriend used to like me a lot and used to chat with me daily with lot of interest and enthusiasm and use to share his pics where he goes and use to say everything. And we celebrated the first two months anniversary too . In 4th month that is in May-2018 i expressed to him directly that i love him and he said i liked you as a friend and but i could sense at that time he likes me but not expressing. Slowly he lost interest in me and but used to chat with me daily.
I know this is hard and I am so sorry that you are going through this. You have dated a man that is emotionally unavailable and is following the same pattern that he had in his life. You mentioned his father never married his mother so this is an issue that he has to overcome himself. This is his past playing into his life now. You have to make yourself less available to him and understand that you deserve more than this. I would encourage you to book a session with me or a male coach on my team so we can help you during this time. You can reach out to me on my contact page. If so please state you messaged me on my blog so I can remember. We are here if you need further guidance.
2 months ago I reconnected with the love of my life from 20 years ago. He calls me very night and we talk on the phone for hours. We are both single. Ive hinted to him that im interested in more than a friendship but he doesnt respond and changes the conversation. I havent hinted anymore. He hasnt even mentioned about seeing each other. We live in the same city. He is having a rough financial time right now. He even had to sell his car. Am I in the friend zone or should I wait to see if this develops into something more?
Maybe your past relationships haven’t turned out like you wanted them to, or you feel like every date in the past month was a lemon. Well, get over it. “It’s still up to you to open your heart—and keep it open. This can be scary because you don’t want to get hurt. However, in order to grow and connect, you must be available and vulnerable,” says Mills.

If you and your ex were in any type of serious relationship, then they will not be able to move on so quickly. In fact, no contact is only going to make them miss you more and remember the good things about you. You have to take a leap of faith over here. The alternative to no contact is being a creep and texting and stalking your ex all the time, which will probably lead to a restraining order against you. You really don’t have much of an option.
My girlfriend and I were together for three years and we got into a fight after I had asked if she saw me in her future. She suffers from severe anxiety and that question caused a lot of anxiety to spike. I pushed way too hard to get a response and I pushed her away as a result. My neediness and insecurity forced my best friend, the person that made me become a better version of myself, someone who made me feel like I could do anything, out of my life. I started no contact on September 20th and asked her to mail me my stuff on the 16th before then. I was really a mess and she ended up blocking me on all social media because of it. She still follows my sisters and cousin however and at a family wedding she looked at my sisters snapchat story which she saw me on in every single picture. I am confused as to what this means but I only got my stuff in the mail today, October 4th and she sent it on Tuesday the 2nd. I want to reach out to her and thank her for sending it and I want to be able to apologize for my behavior after the break up. I know I hurt her and I do not expect a response or even to get back together, I simply would like to be on speaking terms right now. But I do not know if it is 1, too soon to contact her and 2, if what I am writing sounds stupid or not...I am not the best writer and I used to send her my papers for what I called stupid check (shes brilliant and has phenomenal grammar). I am 21 and she is 24, we started dating in her senior year of college and my freshman year and became long distance. She met my family many times and my whole family loved her. She would come stay with us over the summer for a week at a time as well as for a week after Christmas. I definitely made mistakes but I just need some advice before approaching her. Any help I can get would be so useful.
Right on from the man’s perspective. The kind of things like “you’re in the doghouse” is exactly what drives men away. Respect goes both ways in a relationship, and it’s not a battle of the sexes. When women see it as “men vs. women” it’s half over already. It’s not to say men are not jerks — many are. But if the love and connection are strong, then be respectful. If we guys want to have me time or gain some perspectives by retreating, please let us do so instead of making us feel even worse, like we’re scum…. and we will respect more of you, as we also know you need your space too from time to time. A relationship is a fluid thing and we need to adjust and adapt. Mostly, we need to respect each other.
After a healthy and happy relationship for 10 months, he told me his ex wife wants to get back with him. I asked where does this leave me within this equation, he wouldn’t respond, So I asked him does he love me, he said no he does not love me and had never made empty promises nor used the word love! I broke it off and now it’s been 7 weeks without contact! I was hoping he would realise my absence and hold onto the good memories we had together. Will he contact me as I am following the no contact rule as you advise
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