Of course, giving him space is really just the first step… but when it comes down to it there are 2 big problems every woman experiences in her relationships with men – so pay attention because what you do next is vitally important. The first problem you’re probably going through: if you’re already interested in a man and you feel he might be losing interest, going cold, or pulling away then you need to read this right now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
I have a very good feeling that if we can get to a point where we can talk openly and he isn't feeling pressured to get back together, we will have an excellent chance to make it work. I want to work to make big changes to make our sex life better and I know if I can show this to him, he will definitely want to reconsider. He is also young like me and very impulsive. We had a great relationship other than this issue.

You don’t have to hang out with him all the time. You should also catch up with your friends often. Plan a girls’ night out or a girl’s trip, then share to him some fun moments with your friends. After spending a few days away from him, he may be happy you’re having a good time but he will also become jealous. If he sees how much fun you’re having, he’s going to want to come along on your next adventure. This way, you can also balance out the equation and do something without him which will ultimately make him miss you.
While it is important to not pursue your ex for a month or so, it's okay to be responsive if he or she pursues you. In other words, if you get a call, don't hang up on your ex or refuse to talk. It is not necessary to try to play mind games or play hard to get, and doing so would have the potential to push him or her further away, which is the opposite of your goal at this point.[6]
good food for thought dave. my partner is 53 and divorced twice. so having his assetts split twice, and in second marriage time splitting with his son. i commend his bravery for taking the courage to still take the risk for seeking companionship with me. (who has also experienced both divorce once and child access splitting) we reassure each other that our assetts and finances are to remain our own, and up to self choices made for how much is shared towards gifts and/or meals etc neither of us want each other to be in our past experiences ever again,… Read more »

Remember that whatever you're going through now to pick yourself up, if you try winning her back as well, you're going to end up subconsciously dumping your emotional needs and baggage on her which would probably cause her stress and unhappiness. If you want ot win her back, you should do so when you're at good place emotionally and mentally. It doesn't matter if she moves on right now, because if you have genuinely worked on yourself and improved aspects of your life, you'd still stand a chance to win her over down the road.
Hi, I need some major help. I am 46 and found the woman of my dreams. Our relationship was great, but all of the sudden out of the blue she said that "she loves me, but is not in love with me". I knew this was not the case by her actions, she was very loving, intimate, and by how she looked at me. that was on a Tuesday. I kept in contact with her for a couple days and found out that she was not in the same place I was in the relationship. She said that she felt nervous and rushed into the relationship and was not ready to take it to the next step. On Thursday, she broke it off with me and said she needed time to to think. Well, I was stupid and kept sending her messages and trying to talk to her because it was just such a shock to me, I was having a very hard time understanding. On Saturday, she blocked all my accounts and said she would contact me "If and when she was ready". I have NO CLUE what to do now. Obviously there will not be any other contact unless she initiates it. I know I have to do the no contact now, but is it too late? Is there anything I can do to fix this? She gave me a whole 48 hours after the breakup to calm down and understand and give her the space she needs. PLEASE HELP!!
Now, here’s the problem with you getting married to Buddy: it’s not something you want to commit to. Buddy still hasn’t gotten his career together enough, and there are issues in the dynamics that you don’t feel good about. Maybe it’s because you really just don’t see him as husband material (since you barely see him as boyfriend material) and him being a whiny doormat to get his way hasn’t helped this a bit.
You'll have to let him realize the mistake on his own before he willingly decides to come back. Not every situation can be controlled when it comes to a relationship because it requires effort from both parties. If the relationship you had with him was a meaningful one, despite the downward cycle it has taken the past few months, he should begin to realize who he values more after some time apart from you.

Justin Stenstrom is a nationally acclaimed life coach, author, entrepreneur, and speaker. He is the founder of EliteManMagazine.com, the author of the book Giving Shy Guys Game, and the host of the Elite Man Podcast on iTunes. His mission is to provide men with the best tools to become complete gentleman. Justin is an ordinary guy with an extraordinary hunger for the advancement of today’s gentleman. Once shy, insecure, depressed, and unhappy, Justin’s overcome many of life’s greatest obstacles and loves nothing more than helping other guys do the same! For a complete bio on Justin click here.
Invest in sharing your message thoughtfully, clearly, respectfully (self-respect and respect to the party involved). Seek to be understood, and most importantly, invest in understanding what your partner is trying to share with you. This will build a secure foundation in love, respect and fulfillment for you and the one you love. “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” – Stephen Covey 
Does he seem like he has one foot out the door? Like he’s not fully invested? When you bring up the topic of where things are going, does he avoid the question or say he’s not ready to talk about it? This can feel like he’s pulling away, but think about it: maybe he’s not pulling away. Maybe he’s standing still and you’re pushing. It might feel the same to you, but there’s a difference.
Hi Lauren- I broke up with my ex the night before he was moving out of state (not cool, I know). I needed some time to figure things out and work on myself. I want to try again. I wrote him an apology for ending things the way I did 2.5 weeks ago with no response (he also did not respond to a simple email about his mail 1 month ago). Is it still a good idea to send the "I want to try again" letter? I'm at a loss what to do. Our relationship was not bad, but he was pulling away and I didn't know what to do so I ran. He seems either angry or distant or not wanting to engage and since it has been 2 months I'm not sure how much more time I should give this. I feel like we could have something wonderful given another chance (I have the tools now but I'm not sure he is ready to try). Do I call and say it? Send a letter? Send an email? Do nothing? I am in CA and he is in MO so meeting would be hard, but I would be willing to go out there for a weekend. I really want to try but I don't know what to do... If he doesn't want to try I will accept that and move on. Carrie...
If your man is the one for you then you need to learn to understand him. You need to learn what motivates him and what scares him. Once you understand him you should be able to create a relationship where he doesn’t feel threatened. If he doesn’t feel threatened then he will be less likely to pull away which should result in the two of you having more time to develop your relationship.
Tell her in person. Set a time to meet in a public place, or a place that you know she'll feel comfortable in. When the time is right, say: "I know I made some mistakes during our relationship, and I wanted to take full responsibility for those. I shouldn't have done [whatever it is you did] to you, and I feel horrible now. But the biggest mistake I made was losing you. I don't expect anything from you, I just want you to know that."
Spend time with good friends. One of the best ways to source yourself is to put yourself in the company of good friends. Good friends remind you of who you really are. They can give you a new perspective on things and can generally be fun to be around. Good friends serve as one of the best distractions as opposed to eating a bucket of ice cream and watching Netflix all alone because they can help to build you up in the meantime and leave you more empowered, stronger, and more in touch with who you are. It might be worth it to define who good friends are. Good friends are friends that help you choose the most useful and empowering interpretation of your situation. They don’t look to blame or help you wallow in self-pity. They have compassion for you, yet believe that you are inherently fine. They remind you of how fun you are and how much life itself has to offer. Spending time with people like this will feed your soul. During this time take advantage of everything these wonderful people in your life have to offer. Plan a trip. See that show you all always wanted to see. Do all the things that make you feel alive and do it in good company.
Furthermore, I want to mention something else that is aligned to this. I have seen several woman date a man and then come back and say “He was so into me in the beginning, he courted me and showered me with gifts, said all the right things, and was so eager to make me his.” But then once this man gets what he wants he moves on, and his actions start to change slowly. I call this type of man “the snake.” Men like this tend to be very narcissistic but also tend to get what they want often. They have a thrill of the chase, and they see a significant reward for their ego when they have won their prize. I always tell women to be VERY careful of a man who is too forward in the beginning. Take your time, and challenge someone who may be extremely forward. So many women fall for a man like this because we are hopeless romantics and you are pretty amazing! So, when you a see a man showing you so much affection and attention it starts to get you to think, “wow he is so different!” Right? Then you play this emotional mind game in your head stating “I would be stupid if I let this go.” I am going to explain further as you read on.
Paige Armstrong, MSW, LCSW, has over 15 years of international and national clinical, program development, and management experience. She has served as psychotherapist, coach, educator and speaker across small to mid- size companies. Over the course of her career, she has successfully fostered recovery for a diversity of populations – at-risk youth, Fortune 500 CEOs, professional athletes, and high achievers. Check out her website www.lifeenrichmentnc.com.
Does he seem like he has one foot out the door? Like he’s not fully invested? When you bring up the topic of where things are going, does he avoid the question or say he’s not ready to talk about it? This can feel like he’s pulling away, but think about it: maybe he’s not pulling away. Maybe he’s standing still and you’re pushing. It might feel the same to you, but there’s a difference.
This is Dana I just want you to help with my issue. I met a guy I obsorved his character he is genuine, and kind to everyone. The thing is that he is making me to feel that he likes me but when I started to talk him as a friend, he just telling me tat he got crush on some one else & her age is 22 and few days after he Says tat he is loving a girl from the same premises and she is 24. I didn’t understand what he is trying to tell. My question for you is did he making to jealous or he just wants avoid me.
You hate cricket but pretend to follow it just for your boyfriend. If this has been going on for months, and one fine day you lose it and scream, “I just hate this game!” Be ready for the guy to scream back that he doesn’t like your chicken biryani (though he loved it last week). Consider this a turning point. Shah explains, “The first phase of the relationship is rosy. The real test is when you start speaking up frankly and that is the phase of acceptance. In this phase, you want the other person to accept you as well as be your own self in different situations. The Reiss Wheel Theory of Love states that the second phase is when the worst in people shows up. Things such as their limitations and how the other person takes it calls whether you want to continue or give up.”
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I suggest that working towards getting the fling back isn't the most healthy of options and you should just be honest with your feelings towards him. Keep in mind that you should be mentally prepared for the worst because flings often end with one person getting hurt especially when the other person may not have been entirely serious about you in the first place.
There could be a variety of reasons for her hot and cold behavior, and its hard to speculate what it might be. I would suggest continuing to text her but try to liven up the conversation topics whenever possible, and back away whenever she becomes cold so as to not end up overthinking and confronting her about it. Give her some room to ease back into this a step at a time, and try not to build up your expectations right now or get emotional if she doesn't respond the way you want her to.
Can you become close friends with your ex? My ex broke up with me but we were best friends. He is with someone new but is still contacting me. I don’t know if it’s just for friendship or does he miss our relationship? He sends me messages about our serie that we watched together, but the conversation is short and not deep at all. I still love him, and I don’t know what to do?

This is essentially the difference between a healthy relationship and a toxic relationship. A healthy relationship is one where two people feel fulfilled by their individual lives and let that joy and sense of fullness spill into their relationship. They each bring something to the table and can comfortably give and receive. A dysfunctional relationship is when one or both people believes the other person can “give them” something or that there’s something to “get” from the other person.


Have your non-negotiables and boundaries, but dating with a strict itemized wish list—he must make this much, be this tall, drive this car, be this funny—will only hold you back from men who could be great for you in real life and limit you to men who only look good on paper, says Goldstein. “If you need a wish list it should be small and include feeling words instead of car makes and job titles,” she adds.

First off… Why are you starting off your conversation by saying if he needs me to do things for him. You do them? It should be the other way around. A man should cherish you and should chase you. You shouldn’t be chasing him. A real man would never let a woman chase him. We are good at letting men chase us before we get attached. Once we become attached we become pathetic little puppies. You need to unattach yourself from him. Show him you don’t need him to live your life. Before you met him you were perfectly fine. Also if someone cares about you they would not leave you high and dry like that and drop off the face of the earth.
A week or so ago my boyfriend of one year broke up with me, said his feelings just went away, and that he had been feeling that may for a while. We were perfect together, had the same sense of humour, always had a great time together no matter what we were doing, could easily and effectively communicate, etc. We were absolutely infatuated with each other! but there was one issue that came up a few times that we could not seem to fix. This issue was that as much as I understood and agreed that time with friends is so important in any relationship, i justwanted to be more involved in his life sometimes in regards to hanging out with him and his friends, and him hanging out with me and mine and not have him always going out late without including me, every single time. However for some reason he just did not want me to join them, and never wanted to come meet me when I was with my friends, even if they had their partners with them. After yet another discussion about this issue, he just decided he couldn’t compromise and broke up with me instead. Also said that he’s lost feelings for me. I trust completely that there was no cheating involved. I am wondering whether I have a good chance of getting him back in terms of him realising what he had through no contact, because honestly, apart from that we were absolutely perfect together, and I wonder if the same issue coming up a few times is what turned him off, even though I was never suggesting that he stop go out at all.
My gf of 5 years broke up with me a month ago. We are both 21. She said that she has lost feelings and doesn’t feel attracted to me anymore. She didn’t feel like a priority in my life and that i was not there a lot of the time. I know that i had been very insecure(because of my previous relationship) and unwittingly took her for granted over the past few months(work/college commitments). She loved me to bits and i did too but i’ve really hurt her.
It has been proven that people appreciate the things that they invest in. For example, you’re more likely to fall in love and take better care of an expensive handbag if it took you 12 months worth of savings to purchase it. But for the purse your cousin gifted you for your 21st birthday, it stays crammed in the back of your closet. You didn’t have to work very hard to obtain it, so it doesn’t hold the same type of sentimental value to you. The same principal applies to relationships. People care more when they put more effort into their relationships, so if you want your guy to commit, you have to get him to invest in you!
I recently dated someone who seemed to love and accept me more than anyone ever had before. He was unbelievably caring and always looked after me. He was almost over the top in his affection and seemed to wanna get serious very fast. He continued being very affectionate for the entire relationship but I noticed in the last few weeks he was making less and less time for me and started having occasional cranky moments where he seemed judgemental or said he felt pushed into things.

It's likely that her current date is a rebound, since she jumped into the relationship soon after the breakup. For the time being, give her some space to at least let go of the negative emotions she may have towards you after everything that has happened. Also spend this time working on figuring out what went wrong and make positive changes in those areas to at least appear more desirable to your ex and less of the person she was hurt by.


My ex and I broke up a few months ago, I cheated on him, he pretended to forgive me and then he moved on to someone else and then I went through all stages of crazy. Begged him to take me back, spoke to the new girl and told her all the reasons he wasn’t right for her and then he decided to break up with me for real. Claimed what he had with her was ephemeral but I ruined his reputation when I spoke to her. I tried the no contact, did it for 9 days, then I panicked and begged him to take me back, of course he said no, there’s someone else. Then after that time, we met up a few times and had sexually related stuffs…no penetrative sex. Then I decided to restart the no contact. Intend to start tomorrow, unfortunately we are classmates. Yesterday I tried to get him jealous by telling him I met a more handsome guy. He told me many reasons why this guy isn’t right for me. Anyways I am scared that if we continue this way, I’m going to be friend zoned so much that we won’t have any chances again. I don’t want to block him over whatsapp because then he will probably block me too and feel I’ve moved on with this other guy. But it’s quite difficult doing no contact when he is constantly trying to communicate and also, I’m from Nigeria. Virginity means alot to guys here. He was my first and unfortunately the new girl he’s with now is also a virgin and very hot
Instead of worrying about whether he has feelings for you still or not, why not spend the time hanging out, having fun, flirting, and re-creating those feelings on your own accord? Emotions aren't set in stone and can easily waver, so it's up to you to take the first step in not letting what he thinks affect you, but doing something to try to get the result you want.
I had a strong feeling for someone that I met on a dating site. He was witty and sharp. He came to meet me and it went well…he was a 2-hr. drive from me. It wasn’t so much an issue, we both felt….we kept calls and texts going. Soon, when I wouldn’t go to him on the lake (it was late and quite a drive at night), he began small, almost veiled pot-shots at me. It continued for one more text the next day, and I lowered the boom. Said that I was prob. falling in love with him and he was being hurtful…he immed. called and told me he “couldn’t do love with anyone.” “Could we just continue as we were?” I said not, that it would hurt too much. He turned on me and would never communicate again. Any thoughts?
So my ex and I were only together 2 months. I know it sounds like way too short of a time for me to feel this strongly, but it was honestly one of those "once in a lifetime" connections. We connected instantly and had a very intense and meaningful 2 months. Out of the blue, he told me that he realized he wasn't happy being in a relationship with me, that he had lost the spark, that we weren't as compatible as he thought. He said it wasn't my fault, I had always been great, he just had a gut feeling that it wasn't right.
As an independent woman, it’s time to re-frame and re-write your own happiness. The best place to begin is by considering your values and what matters most to you in a relationship. For example, if family is a priority for you, then the best decisions will be those that support your family nucleus or extended family. What’s fundamentally important to you will translate into who you pick as a partner, whose career takes priority if you’re half of a couple, household responsibilities if you share a home, parenting roles for those with children, and much more.

WOW! WOW! WOW! Guys, seriously this article should be preached (especially the fourteenth one haha). My boyfriend and I are together for two years now and he’s taking me to prom this year. So excited I’m gonna pass out!!! He’s a pretty tough guy and you gotta have patience with him, but he sure knows how to pull some romance tricks on me like flowers before school or my biggest addiction – chocolate. And now I can pay him back.
Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?
You know, the thoughtful gestures that make her feel valued and loved, such as: holding her hand, kissing her hello, saying “I love you”, pulling her in for a cuddle, complimenting her when she has made an effort to look good (or has been extra friendly to your awful Aunt Peggy) answering her questions, really listening to her, remembering small details about what she likes, saying thank you, and of course, surprising her with a little something special  – just because.
I have been seeing my boyfriend for about 8 months now. He completely swept me off my feet in the beginning (it was like a love bomb). He started changing a couple months after that — we never really “dated” — it just went from a couple dates where he would take me out and drop me off at my apartment and go back to his. Then, a few weeks later he was practically living in my apartment full time. He blames me for everything wrong in the relationship — shuts down emotionally now and we just had another blowout and he says to me he needs a week of space. I think he was just using me for convenience because my apartment was closer to his for work. I am so confused. He is not texting much anymore, not interested in my goals and things we used to share and that bonded us in the beginning. It just feels so empty and I can’t talk to him because he automatically says that I focus on him too much and I analyze the relationship too much. He calls me crazy and negative, among other things. He basically just comes over and sleeps. No connection, no emotion. I don’t know what to do anymore. I think it’s time to let him go — I also think he has narcissistic traits as i’ve been trying to read and educate myself. Could you offer any advice? Thank you.
Since you've already started to push her away with your actions after the breakup, the best thing you can do right now is to give her some space and try to figure out on your own what caused her to end the relationship. If it was a negative aspect of you that made her lose feelings or give up on the relationship, use this time to work on yourself so that you'll be able to reach out as an improved person down the road to see if things can be rebuilt from there.

Of course, giving him space is really just the first step… but when it comes down to it there are 2 big problems every woman experiences in her relationships with men – so pay attention because what you do next is vitally important. The first problem you’re probably going through: if you’re already interested in a man and you feel he might be losing interest, going cold, or pulling away then you need to read this right now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
my guy also told me we shall be good friends and after that he started to ‘bench’me..i caught him online 24/7 on all the social media channels,you see: somebody who changes a relationship into a friendship is suspicious enough and under the pretense of a ‘friendship’ he wants to end the whole thing, at least your guy is not responding to your messages at all, because my guy did respond every once in a while and every time we wanted to meet up he was ‘sick’ until i ended the whole thing
Now, the following strategies for getting him to bring up the subject all entail risk: Having The Talk, no matter who initiates it, might either scare him off or cause him to give you an answer you don't want to hear ("I don't want a commitment, but I'd love to continue having sex with you. Okay?"). But come on. You don't want to spend the rest of your life pining for some guy who thinks you're great to share a burger and a bed with but little else, right? The risk is generally worth taking.
Even when someone breaks up with another person, sometimes the habit of being together and talking remains there because the other person would probably feel the gap in his/her life just as much as the person they broke up with. However, understand that you're on the losing end by accommodating to him because he is currently using your company to fill the void so that he doesn't have to deal with the emotions himself, while you probably feel everything, from the hurt of seeing him but not being together, to the confusion of the situation. NC might be a better choice to deal with the breakup, and if he genuinely still wants to be friends after, you can take it from there to see how it progresses.

My boyfriend of almost four years broke up with me and I’m so sad. He’s been reaching out to check on me for the first four days and then just dropped off. How would this article apply to my situation? I’m not clinging to the hope of him coming back, but there’s always a chance he’ll miss me and realize what he lost. I’ve been initiating no contact with him.

Let a woman reveal her true intentions on the very first date. Instead of a fancy dinner, take her for a light breakfast such as coffee and a simple pastry. See if potential exists by having her engage with your intellect and not your wallet. If there is interest on both parts then work your way up to the bells and whistles where she will appreciate your efforts more.
Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.
Thank you so much for the advice. I ended up sending a text two days ago just to check on him (nothing emotional) but I know I shouldn't have. He then last night blocked me on Instagram and deleted most of our pics. I think that is a nice way of saying leave me the heck alone until I am ready. Just very shocked after 4 years. But I will hold strong. Hopefully things will work out for the best.
Being together means facing situations together, and this could include a tragedy. Death, financial difficulties, job issues, problems with family are the things a couple face. When the guy just wants to be with you in a difficult time, he is ready to commit. Shah says, “In a relationship, there is a need for emotional security and bonding. This can be shown by either partner by being there — just standing with them or holding hands. This stage conveys a deeper level of relating to each other and also the security someone is there with them. It shows that the relationship has reached an emotional maturity by handling the strong emotions of each other in a balanced healthy way. This cements the relationship.”
“A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to understand the male intimacy cycle. Men instinctively feel this urge to pull away. It is not a decision or choice. It just happens. It is a natural cycle. As men experience this instinctive urge to fulfill their need for independence or autonomy, they pull away much like a rubber band that is stretched to its limit. Like the rubber band, a man has nowhere else to go but back. When he has done so, like the rubber band, he will return with a lot of power and spring. If a woman expects her partner to be close and intimate all of the time, the rubber band will turn limp and flaccid. His power and strength, like the rubber band, is gone. Simply put, if a woman quietly accepts her partner’s instinctive urge to pull away, she will be rewarded by his eventual return.” ~ John Gray
Immediately pump the brakes on everything you’ve currently been doing, and completely go MIA for a bit. The key is to pull back just a little bit, and give your guy the opportunity to really miss you. This pull back technique will not only make him crave you, but it will make him wonder if there’s another guy in your life who has your attention. He will soon realize that he misses having you in his life, and he doesn’t want to run the risk of another guy swooping in to steal you away! It won’t be long before he’s finally making things official with you.
If you try to take your ex head on and force them to change their mind you will probably meet a lot of resistance and never quite get to where you want to go. It’s quite simple it is impossible to force someone to love you; but you can make them fall in love with you if you put the right actions in place and if you are a little bit clever in your approach!
Fake it til you make it should never apply to a relaitonship. Building a relationship especially a commited relationship on a lie is never a good start. If the foundation is shaky, so will the entire relationshiop be. Do not try to use crafty tricks that will make him think twice and stay with you. This means using the age old pregnancy trick wont do. Just be yoursekf and see where that takes you. Maybe you might even be surprised by the outcome more than you had imagined.
I dated my ex for 4 years. We studied in the same campus and moved together to another campus to pursue our studies. The moment we came into our new campus, my ex's behaviour changed. He told me he wants to break up. A week later I found that he was with another girl from the same campus and I did nothing but just left it. A month later he came telling me that he wanted me back and I said ok, we got back together. I even asked him the reason behind his break up with the other girl and he told me that the girl isn't sincere and honest to him as I were to him. She even tried cheating on him. Months later again, he came telling me that he was confuse about our relationship and so on. We broke up again and he went back to the same girl again. Every time I confronted him about this issue, the only thing he tells me is that his feelings towards me changed and he wanted me to move on. It's been 2 months now since he is with the other girl now. Last week when I saw him, he cried to me saying that he loves me still but his feelings of being together with me was not there anymore instead it was there for the other girl. He told me to move on and no to wait for him. He said he wants to be with the other girl now. I asked him why does he want that girl so badly when she wasn't good enough and sincere to him and he replied me that the girl changed now. She is much open and honest to me now about everything that is happening in her life. All I could reply to him was Goodluck. His current girlfriend told him to block me in Whatsapp and he did but he still keeps me in his Facebook and Instagram. I'm confused by his actions. Can you help?
If you truly believe that your ex should be in your life, then you need to start focusing on the life that you have to offer. You need to love yourself with such ferocity that anybody else’s love is just the cream on the pie. You are your own pie. Once you start thinking of yourself like that, the people around you will notice and he will start to miss you.
But sometimes filling your life with positive things is not enough. In fact, having a good vibe isn’t really about having the things you love around you or trying to imprint the idea that you feel good into your mind. It’s more about removing the self-destructive, negative thinking (and the behavior that the negative thinking creates) – i.e. changing the lens that you see the world yourself and your situations through.

Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging. However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative.


I think that continuing your no contact for now would be a better idea before sending out the text. It may be too soon to send this without him thinking you have motives because the breakup was still relatively recent. And if the issue for the breakup was because of his clubbing interests, perhaps it might a good idea to let him go through this phase first instead of suppressing negative emotions while in the relationship, since it's usually just a phase that people go through.


After no contact, my ex and I have spoken here and there for a couple weeks (mostly initiated by me) and we finally hung out for the first time the other day when I texted him asking to. He seemed nervous at first but we had a good time and he was reminiscing on our past times a lot, also heavily flirting. I was only a little flirty and didn’t bring up the relationship. He also suggested future times we should hang out several times, and we were having fun. After I left he texted me thanking me for hanging out with him, saying how sexy and awesome I am. He stopped responding but we exchanged a few snaps. The next day I called him intending to ask to get lunch but he didn’t respond and texted me 20 mins later saying he was working. We had a brief conversation that he initiated and I haven’t talked to him since. Am I overthinking or did I totally scare him off by calling the next day? Should I wait for him to contact me?
This is essentially the difference between a healthy relationship and a toxic relationship. A healthy relationship is one where two people feel fulfilled by their individual lives and let that joy and sense of fullness spill into their relationship. They each bring something to the table and can comfortably give and receive. A dysfunctional relationship is when one or both people believes the other person can “give them” something or that there’s something to “get” from the other person.
You can only give others information. Therefore, you can not make your man do anything, whether that is committing to you or picking up his socks.  You can only give him information. However, that information is perceived by someone other than yourself and your intentions may not translate. Walking away informs him you are not interested in committing, and doing so could backfire and lead to a break up rather than a commitment.  

It seems counterintuitive, but experts' No. 1 piece of advice is to never to bring up the "What are we?" conversation. "It's like going to a party, turning off the music, turning on the lights, and asking, 'Are we all having a good time here?'" Trespicio says. "A good relationship is built on momentum, and putting a stop to the fun to 'check in' is a surefire way to kill the romance."


I’ve loved reading your articles and they’ve really helped me recognize what’s been tickling the corner of my self-awareness lately about my self-worth being directly related to why I always end up dating people that don’t treat me well and are emotionally unavailable. The one thing that I’m trying to figure out in this article and in my current situation is – how do you discern between a relationship (casual or exclusive) ending due to the other person being emotionally unavailable vs. being emotionally available and being turned off by your insecurities? At the end of the day, I recognize that both are directly related to my lack of self-love and that is what needs to be fixed, but in the former case, if I had previously fixed this it would have resulted in me ending the relationship as soon as I recognized the other person was emotionally unavailable/disrespecting me and in the latter it seems like the relationship would have had a chance at working out. I feel like it’s much easier to forgive myself for not holding boundaries and walking away when I knew I should have than for literally being the reason something potentially great didn’t work out..
Hi this is Desireen again … So im about to finish my No contact period but he hasn’t attempt to contact me. And I heard she’s escorting another girl.. how can I approach him?? I’m really not sure if I can approach him since I feel so shy after all the things that happened And what if the two of them end up together? Should I still reach out for him or should I wait again??.. Im really nervous that I may not get him back
My boyfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me. I'm having a hard time dealing with it and I think I'm afraid move on without him. He left 2 months ago for work and started acting different and distant through text. I would always reassure him and let him know that I would stay and wait for him to come back, but he still broke up with me. I still love him and I don't want it to be over.
Romance isn’t just about a box of chocolates on Valentine’s Day. A satisfying relationship can also make people feel happy and healthy. But keep in mind that successful relationships aren't just about rainbows and butterflies—a healthy partnership requires communication, respect, and plenty of good habits from both people. So when dating that special someone, avoid stalking their ex on Facebook, keeping feelings bottled up, and splitting the double cheeseburger every night. These (and five other) bad habits could make a great relationship take a turn for the worse.

In your case, keep NC shorter than 30 days - usually, around 2 weeks would be enough. Reach out but perhaps you might want to consider all the angles first before deciding whether to tell him or not about your addiction. Some people might take it the wrong way and instead of even feeling pity, it pushes them further away because technically, you weren't being honest throughout the relationship. It might be better to come across and tell him that you've changed and leave it at that unless you know for certain that he would be understanding towards your situation.


If you want your man to love you more, you should make a point of showing him daily with random acts of kindness, just make sure they are specific. So if he loves grilled cheese sandwiches, make sure you cook that up for lunch. Perhaps he’s a movie buff so grab him a few passes to the theater. If he always has dry lips, make sure he’s got Chapstick in his pockets when he needs it. And if he loves to have the boys over for hockey, you should make plans on the hockey nights and let him know he should invite them over to hang out.
My gf of 5 years broke up with me a month ago. We are both 21. She said that she has lost feelings and doesn’t feel attracted to me anymore. She didn’t feel like a priority in my life and that i was not there a lot of the time. I know that i had been very insecure(because of my previous relationship) and unwittingly took her for granted over the past few months(work/college commitments). She loved me to bits and i did too but i’ve really hurt her.
Well she called me Sunday and I was asking her what was wrong. She said she didn't know, she just didn't feel like herself and that she felt weird. She was acting kind of weird like she wanted to tell me something but was playing dumb. So we stay on the phone for the rest of the night just talking about whatever. We laughed n shit. It was good. Then she told me that she wanted to play Fortnite Saturday night but didnt wanna bother me. I said I did too but I didn't because of the night before. I told her I was surprised that she called me to talk. She asked "you didnt want me to?" and I said "no of course but again, friday". She said "yeah I know". I told her why I didnt talk to her Saturday so I could have a clear mind about things and what happened. Told her I missed her and we got into talking about getting back together. She was taking it really well and listening. Not much conversation. She said she was gonna get a shower and that shed call me when she got out. So she calls me back and I was gonna forget the conversation but she said "you had something you wanted to talk about?" and I thought she wanted to talk about it too so I brought it up again and she just said "well I already told you how I felt on Friday". I said "yeah I know" and changed the subject and we fell asleep on the phone. She also facetimed me for a lil while like we used to.
Many articles also suggest playing mind games and using pride/ego to win the person back, but honestly, these are all extremely unhealthy habits and qualities that should be avoided when going into a relationship. It's true that since he broke up with you, and it may seem weak to be the one to reach out, but by waiting, you could honestly end up doing so indefinitely. Think about what you want at the end of the day, and I always believe that we should fight for what we want. If you genuinely want him back, it would be best to put pride and ego aside, doesn't matter who broke up with who, and just sincerely fight for him (not in a desperate and overbearing way of course) following our guidelines to reach out.
He broke up with me a week ago over the phone. We were together for 7 months and had a deep connection. I have not contacted him since. Yesterday I received a text from him explaining why he did it and apology. Pretty much he is not over his divorce, has health issues, dealing with work problems, trying to work on a relationship with his kids and now is not a good time and not fair to me to continue the relationship. Should I respond or keep no contact for 30 days? Or should I acknowledge the text and respond?
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