Look, we weren’t taught how to build and cultivate happy and healthy relationships in school, but it’s certainly not too late to learn how to develop these skills now! The aforementioned tips are just what you need. They consist of the very best relationship, dating, and lifestyle experts in the world; all of whom possess incredibly esteemed backgrounds and trackrecords of proven success.
Alright, so the biggest thing I want you to focus on for the no contact period is the fact that you are using this month to become the best version of yourself that you have ever been. There is a 100% chance, especially if you are ignoring him, that your ex is going to check up on you during this period and instead of sulking around feeling sorry for yourself he is going to see a strong, sexy, fun-having woman!

This has been a secret among us ladies for many years and has never failed us… It certainly never failed me and I’m living proof! It is a lot harder than it sounds though as if you love him, you will no doubt want to spend every minute with him and fighting against that feeling can be hard. Just because you are lessening the amount of texts and dates, doesn’t mean you can increase the amount of Facebook activity.
So Eric I’ve been talking to this guy almost 2 years. He says he likes me a lot but does not know what he wants we not in a relationship he enjoys my company a lot I like him too but need more.I think he’s confused some times it feels like he wants to and then next time he pulls away say he been hurt so much he’s not ready .Do u think it’s an excuse or what .I know he seeing other people but denies it .Please give me your opinion
It would seem that he lost the interest in having a relationship with you, but doesn't want to deal with the emotional hurt of going through a breakup, which was why he suggested occasionally talking and hooking up - in order to ease the transition. Also, he doesn't seem very emotionally mature and even seems to be acting a little spiteful towards your rejection of sex but still remains conflicted with talking to you in order to not feel the gap at times. If he is still trying to meet up, perhaps he would still have the intention of wanting to hookup or perhaps even reconcile, but I would recommend some discretion on your part to at least ensure he is doing things for the right reason before you decide.
If you try to take your ex head on and force them to change their mind you will probably meet a lot of resistance and never quite get to where you want to go. It’s quite simple it is impossible to force someone to love you; but you can make them fall in love with you if you put the right actions in place and if you are a little bit clever in your approach!
Instead of trying to fix it and reel him back, forgive yourself for being needy, acknowledge that it’s OK and everything will be fine, and give him some space to come to you. Don’t inundate him with texts or snap chats or G-chats or anything. Just let it be and give him the space to find his way back to you. And in that time, enjoy your life and find ways to be happy. Do not spend this time obsessing over him and wondering if you ruined this relationship forever. Be confident in yourself and try to internalize the fact that you deserve an amazing relationship and with the right person it will happen freely and won’t need to be forced.
Justin Stenstrom is a nationally-acclaimed life coach, author, entrepreneur, and speaker. He is the Editor-in-Chief of EliteManMagazine.com, the founder of Elite Life Nutrition, and the host of the Elite Man Podcast, where he interviews some of the best self-help experts in the world, including guests like Robert Greene, Grant Cardone, Dr. John Gray, Bas Rutten, Dr. Dale Bredesen, Kevin Harrington and many others. Once anxious, insecure, depressed, and unhappy, Justin’s overcome many of life’s greatest obstacles and loves nothing more than helping others do the same! For a complete bio on Justin click here.
I kind of agree with both of you. I get what you mean with your post, Eric, some women just force into a relationship with a person who will never commit simply because he just does not feel the same way about her, and still she tries to push him. But I also agree that we sometimes, being more mature, I don’t know, have to act like if it was a game, knowing the right moves and words because otherwise the guy will freak out and just leave. I’m with a guy for 6 months now and he still is not sure if I’m “the one”, although we always have an amazing time when we’re together. Maybe he’s afraid to lose his freedom, or that I’ll be all jealous and stuff, but it’s very hard to pretend that I’m ok with this situation when all I wanted was a serious and honest conversation, but I have tried that in the past and he thought I was pressing him.
I know how frustrating it can be when you’re ready to take the relationship to the next level, and figuring out how to get your man to commit, but he just keeps putting it off or giving you lame excuses. Because I have lived it and got my man to commit, it’s only fair that I share all my secrets on how to make a man commit so you can too have your prince charming.
Hi. We broke up with my girl friend 1 and a half months ago. Since then I did no contact and then sent her a letter suggesting that I support her decision and all that. After a month and a week I went to her country for a surprise visit she was shocked but at the same time flattered. I kept it really cool, told her that I am not there to ask her to come back. Then we started talking and everything and after few hours we started hugging holding hands kissing. Two days went by like this. It was perfect. After I came back we kept in touch and decided to move slowly. Now we talk everyday again. However she said she had to tell me about this guy she went on a date with. Nothing happened but they did keep in touch. She told me she liked him in the beginning but now she knows it was because she was scared to be alone. But then the next day I opened the subject again and she revealed more about the situation. That they made plans to meet and stuff. And now she says she wont be sure until she sees him again and decides that she actually has nothing for him. I kept it cool again and said it is better if we stop talking for a while because I wanted both of us to have time to think but she insisted we keep talking. We changed subject afterwards and everything was great. She was talking about going on to a date and at one point she mistakenly called me her boyfriend which we joked about. Right now it is going good. But I dont want her to get confused because of this guy. What is the best course I can follow? I really need help on this. Thank you.
“Many women can confuse sex and sexual desires with a guy’s interest in them. He wants sex, she also wants sex but thinks him wanting sex means there is something more,” says Goldstein. “Explore your sexual boundaries and know where they are and why they’re there.” And, even more importantly, don’t let yourself be pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do just because you want to gain someone’s interest.
Marriage is a tricky one. After years of being together it can seem monotonous and boring. People settle into a routine and then start to resent eachother after a while. A marriage takes work, from both parties. The trouble is trying to get that other person to want to want to work at it. No mean feat. If you are a woman it is all about understanding the male mind and why they do not want to open up and talk. You have to use the male lingo to get any headway here.
Under these circumstances, she’s probably overwhelmed by her emotions which led her to react this way. You’ve already let her know that you need to take some time to grieve and process the breakup, and she needs to respect that. I don’t doubt that her actions were also caused by her feelings towards you which resulted in her getting upset that you didn’t want to talk to her. However, I think that given time she’ll start to cool down and should be a little more receptive when you reach out.
In my previous article about the ugly truths of online dating, I shared a story about how my current partner would get rebuffed time and again, simply for stating that she was a feminist. She would have built rapport with multiple men. They would ask her what she studied and what she’s interested or into. The second she mentioned she was a feminist (in passing, mind you)—guys stopped responding and sending her messages.
Studies have shown that 90% of rebound relationships don’t work out in the long run so the odds are probably in your favor. There is no reason to start harassing him or the girl he is dating. Under no circumstances will you contact him. In fact, DO NOT CONTACT HIM OR HER. The further away from the breakup your ex gets the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. This means he will forget the bad times and remember the good times.
Q&A emails. What is the best way to contact you on Facebook, I know you cannot accept any more friend requests, so I guess just message you there, right? I send you a message there already, and since we are not friends on Facebook I wonder if you got it, I’ve been told once, that it could go in a separate folder which the person doesn’t see right away.
It motivated me to search for a job even more, to subscribe to a sport to meet new people and make friends, to give him the freedom and the life he was asking for. A few days after, we went to a party and i gave him his space, made friend with other girls, I was doing great but he started talking with his former booty call right in front of me, which of course, made me feel so bad and jealous. So I ignored him the rest of the night. But I apologised the day after and it was ok.

The best way for two people to maintain a bond over a long period of time is for them to have projects together. You can start off with aiming to buy or to build a house, you can envision having kids together, what you will name them and how you intend to raise them; but I would like you to focus on something even deeper, something that will enable you both to really dream further together.
He will definitely notice that you’re not as available as you once were, and it will add just the right amount of fear into the situation. Your guy will be worried that another guy will snag your attention, and it will definitely cause him to spring into action. Knowing that other men are attracted to you will definitely make your guy take the next step by finally asking you to be in a committed relationship with him!

So what's a woman to do? First, understand that your guy's hasty retreat post-sex may be because he doesn't understand how much he craves a connection with you. Then, it's time for another kitchen table sex talk, Mintz says. "If he's been jumping in the shower right after sex for the last 10 years, he's going to be really taken off guard if, the next time he goes into the shower, you all of a sudden say it upsets you," she explains. "Instead, set aside a time to talk when the situation has passed."
I need some advice please. I have read numerous articles online about breakups and "getting your ex back". I haven't found one yet that pertains to our situation. We are 40yrs old. We were together a year and a half then lived together for nearly a year. Been friends for past 15 yrs. I moved away and we kept a long distance relationship for 6 months.
I was in 2 years long relationship with my ex, including one year of long distance. He broke up with me 3 months ago saying he is not ready for commitment and settle in one year because it was supposed to be one year longer the long distance relationship. We had some fights lately, due to lack of contact it was hard to catch him, I wasnt my best too I was picking on him sometimes when it was no needed. I tried to win him back but he didnt want to. We dont speak for over a month now and soon will be my birthday. I find out on social media that he is licking some girls face and that they are cooking together. What should I do? Can I still win him back? I know what mistakes I made and I was in process of chagning myself but I dont know if should I reach to him? What was the actual reason, he said he is not ready but he is clearly making connection with this girl.
Take a vacation. Jetting off with nothing but a bikini and the promise of a postcard gives him a small taste of life minus you. Plus, the freedom to flirt when you're ostensibly single cuts both ways, and if he's into you, that'll stick in his craw. "When my girlfriend told me she was going on a cruise with three of her friends, I figured, cool — three weeks of bachelor days ahead," says Todd James* (names have been changed), a 29-year-old New York City public-relations executive. But then he saw how excited she was about the trip. "She kept talking about how they were going to get crazy — and two of her friends didn't have boyfriends. I doubted Amy was going to sit on the boat drinking pina coladas alone while they hit the town." Long story short: The night before she left, he initiated The Talk. "It was sort of a preemptive strike. I didn't want her to cheat on me," he said. "But it also made me think about losing her, and how I knew those three weeks would be pretty lonely. I did enough running around in college."

Well my boyfriend who I've dated for 4 months this told me he just doesn't feel the same way how I feel. We talked about it before and this is our second breakup. What confuses me is how he says he still cares about me and hates seeing me broken like this. And in my heart I love him even with this, and I've read your article that I shouldn't try to pl ish for something because it'll just push him away more and I dont want that. Is there any way or possibility that we will be together again? I've seen this before with one of my friends and her and her ex got bsck together again and he wont let her go ever again. I ha e this thought in my head that it'll happen to me where he'll come back and we'll have a stronger relationship and be together. I'm in the grief stage now and everything just hurts. Is there any way that I'll know he will know that this was a good decision he made between us? He messages me still a day after the break up and he says he feels horrible for putting me through this pain again. I just want to know what to do next for him to take me back.
I know you feel hurt and you probably feel worthless right now because feel like your ex doesn’t want you. You are eager to feel loved and hopefully ‘My ex will know that I’m in another relationship and my ex will feel jealous, and will beg to come back.’ STOP. That’s not self-love. That’s called my-ex-is-still-the-center-of-my-universe. Everything you do is because you want to get your ex back. But actually, everything you do from now on, should be focused on yourself. 
Ok firstly all the hormone talk is true and your man goes through a 30 day cycle just like our 28 day cycle but opposite hormones. If your man is constantly pulling away not answering messages etc he is not finding himself he is rude, inconsiderate and needs to get his act together cause these ones head for divorce number 4 before the end of their lives. A man wanting time to himself is fine, go to the man cave but you have responsibilities here at home, don’t forget those or you’re in the doghouse. You pull away expect your woman to pull away right back, were not your Mummas be a man, a man never makes his woman Chase him. A man loves the Chase. Raise your son’s to have respect for women. Because going into their mancaves for days or weeks says these things: 1. You’re a control freak narcissist, 2. You have no love or respect or hmbleness in your heart, 3. Your woman is now available! ye! That’s right ladies say bye! You deserve better. Good luck.

So often women get caught up with forcing the men in their lives to do what they want they fail to find suitable time to establish of that is what they too really want deep down. Time is spent scheming, evaluating and charting plans of action that they dream will end in a lifelong commitment that they faail to think ahead if they will be truly happy. Having him commit is one asoect of it but what about you? Do you really want the commitment? Is he what you want or are you motivated to have him commit simply because he wasn't a willing candidate. You see like men, women are just as competitive, we sometimes want simply because we cannot have. Look at the relationship and outline why you want him to commit and see if your reasons are justified.
Personally, I wouldn’t consider it an emergency if he’s without some of his stuff. However, if for whatever the reason he was so worried something happened to you, at some point he would ACTUALLY start looking for you, whether it’s at work or at home, in which you would find it sweet of course, but at the same time you can tell him you’re fine and just need some space.
Considering the total length you've been together, you're going to need to give her quite a bit of distance to let her do whatever she feels she needs to do at this point, especially if you were her first love and she may potentially be going through a mid-life crisis. Under these circumstances, the greater you push, the more she'll resent you because if she feels this strongly about wanting her independence, she'll feel just as strongly against anyone who interferes with it.
Look hot on social media.. In this day and age, as soon as you start talking to a potential boyfriend, you’ll add him on Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and the like. It’s how everyone keeps an eye on everybody else nowadays, so you can bet your bottom dollar that he’ll be stalking you on social media just as much as you’re stalking him. Make sure you’re on top form when you post your #selfieoftheday and I promise that he’ll be putty in your hand.
However, something I’ve noticed men despise about their dates—it’s when their date expects them to pay for the meal, because they’re male. This doesn’t just pull them away, it turns them off. This problem manifests itself if they feel like you haven’t appreciated their efforts. Don’t be that girl. The first impression you give is usually the only impression you’re remembered for, especially if it doesn’t get past the first date. Most men aren’t so keen to fund the lifestyle of someone they’re not sure what their intentions are: “What exactly does she want me for me?” Or, “Is she only after me for my money?”
I’d also love your opinion,I was with someone for a few months and I really feel there was a good connection I felt something special. We met in the city I go to university at but he lives in another city. We texted and got on well there and then we met and things were just as good in person and it began from there. He’s been having a bad time in a lot of ways with family problems work etc and has been very down for months and pulled away a bit and I think because I found the distance hard and not really knowing what was going on I reacted badly and also had some problems of my own so was in a stressed frame of mind,I became needy and angry and upset with him and pushed him away more. In my opinion we weren’t seeing each other enough but I wish I’d been a bit more patient and just seen where things had gone.He’s said he only likes me so I know it’s wasnt that he didn’t have feelings but I pushed and pushed and ruined things. We’ve both said we need space but it ended in an argument.

It would really depend on the type of person he is, but perhaps for now just go with NC as found in our articles, and focus on loving yourself first. Pick yourself up from the breakup, and if he contacts you again it would be a bonus. Sometimes a guy doesn't know what he's lost until he's actually lost it, and desperately comes back, but other times they just end up not thinking about it and may have even decided to move on the moment the breakup happens. As I've said, it would really depend on how he is as a person - that would determine what he does.
The energy you put into the relationship is the only thing that matters. Putting in energy doesn’t come from a self-absorbed place, it isn’t attached to feelings of anxiety, fear, worry, anger, rage, resentment. You are outside of yourself and putting energy into giving him that “extra something” that makes you valuable, rare, and inspirational to the guy.
I would suggest that you try to stay focused and pick yourself up from this first. She may have the 'pick of the litter', but keep in mind that she did love you through the period you were together and probably still does have certain feelings for you. However, because she is in the new relationship with the other guy which is 'novel', she definitely has taken a stronger interest there at this point because its still a new thing. Work on improving yourself now because if ever there comes a point where you and her cross paths, you would want to be in the position to make a strong impression and to test her true feelings with the other boyfriend she's now with.
Now, what’s happening in your body when you picture a man pulling away and going further off into the distance? Can you FEEL your body wanting to lean forward and doing anything you can to stop him from going away? This “leaning forward” urgency is what causes a man to feel pressured and cornered. That’s why you need to STOP it by doing the opposite: leaning BACK.

During the courting process we’ve been conditioned to believe that men should be providers and women are caregivers and nurturers. This division of labour between the sexes has become a staple in nearly every walk of life, most notably, during the courting process. Despite society’s attempts to abolish traditional gender roles, many men still feel more inclined to “foot the bill;” as it is still considered a good gesture, and does nothing but increase our chances of being in your good book.
My ex started slowly reaching out to me after 3 months no contact. Maybe a message once every couple weeks. I played it cool & did everything I should do. The texts increased in frequency over the course of a month to the point where it was an everyday thing and they were going from casual texts to him implying he missed certain things about us. I did very well keeping my cool and maintaining a flirty fun persona while still having my own life and not eagerly texting back. At this point, I got a random feeling to check to see if he was online dating and when I looked I found that he had just signed up for a dating site. Instinct kicked in and instead of taking the time to assess about what it could mean and respond appropriately, I reacted. I texted him I miss him and lost all control. Ever since than he still initiates contact sometimes but only through Snapchat and it’s very informal or sometimes he won’t answer me and leaves me hanging. He never speaks of any memories or flirts anymore and now I am the one doing it. Everything flipped and I don’t know what to do. I was so close to getting him to hang out and see me. I feel like he’s no longer interested and since he is online dating I feel I have lost my chance. I really regret letting my panick ruin what could have been a reconciliation. It was stupid and careless. Idk what to do from here.
Note also that therapy is virtually always more potent if the couple goes together for some of the sessions. Paulette, after initial reluctance, decided to schedule sessions with Peter's therapist as well.  They sometimes saw the therapist separately, and sometimes together which helped them to recognize and rectify the problematic patterns in their prior interactions.  When both partners participate in a process of growth, the odds zoom up that the outcome will be positive for both of them.  
He suddenly wanted a break, said i would get too jealous and needed space, I fought him so he said nvm I’m too aggressive. Then I kept messaging him and he said he was seriously going to give me a chance but that now that I freaked him out. I had never reacted this way w him but I really did not want to lose him. He used to love me so much and showed so much affection but it was so much that it kind of got to me and I loved him a lot for it, he eventually needed space because he went through alcohol problems in the past and needed to stay active in helping and running since he is sponsored. Eventually he told me no, he will not promise me he was taking a break anymore.
If when you're apart you're doing the following things: tagging him in photos on Facebook, sending him a Snapchat every ten minutes to get his attention, texting his friends to see what they're up to, or posting pictures with other guys on Instagram to make him a little jealous... he's not going to miss you. He's going to get frustrated and want to be away from you.
Where do I go to meet the best men? Why do the guys I like so much just stop calling and how do I get the guy I like to get to the next level? These are questions that so many women find themselves asking and it can be so tough to find the right guy! How To Get The Guy from coach Matthew Hussey is the secret to getting immediate results in your love life. Our dating tips are designed specifically for women, with knowledge drawn from working with men seeking love themselves. We know how men work, their thoughts, their feelings and what makes them tick and I know how to hook them in for good. So check out our 10 amazing videos with the best relationship tips for women.
Offer to take him out to dinner on your dime. Don’t mention your emotional melt down. He doesn’t want to hear it. Make yourself humble and be grateful that he even wants to spend time with you. If you show him genuine remorse and he see this you might have a chance as long as he thinks you will never do that again. Goodluck you’re going to need it.

Only he knows how he is feeling and it is impossible to second guess the reasons. The advise here that I would give (and this is my own personal opinion, everyone should do what feels right for them) is to ease the focus away from him and put it back onto yourself. Appreciate your own worth, keep yourself busy doing things that you enjoy, try to refrain from thinking about it all too much and remember that if he is the right guy for you, he will be in touch. No amount of texting or calling will change anything. If he does pull back too much, then do the same.


Dating should be fun and nothing more than a way to meet and get to know another person, who may or may not be fit to share your life with you. “[Dating] is not a commitment. There is no obligation involved with dating. No one owes anyone anything ever,” says Freed. It’s easy to get excited about someone and start planning your future together, but remember that you’re both just figuring out if you even like each other first. Don’t put pressure on things by feeling like you owe each other something, you don’t.

Make a major independent financial decision. Talk about buying a car, a plot of land, a house, or maybe a Cessna. The reason: You're making him aware that you don't need him to move your life forward. And if he asks you why you didn't consult him first about the decision, jokingly say, "It's not like we're married!" He'll have to respond with a request for clarification of exactly what he is to you, if he's going to have any say in your financial matters. That sounds like the start of The Talk.
Lynn is passionate about healthy relationships.  Trained by the Relationship Coaching Institute, her mission is to help singles date more effectively and find the love of their life. She also works with couples to hone their awareness and skills so they can have the happy, healthy and lasting relationship they dream of.  Her website is www.lovecoachlynn.com.

Let him make the plans. If he wants you, he’s going to have to come and get you, damn it! Don’t put yourself on a plate for him—make him work hard for it before you agree to meet up or speak to him. In the past, I’ve said that I’m busy even though I’m not just to get a reaction that’s usually on the lines of, “Oh no, that’s a shame! I really wanted to see you! How about tomorrow or the day after?” If you turn him down regularly, he’ll fight even harder for you. True story.


This means be honest with yourself: Is there anything in your life right now that could interfere with the success of a new relationship? A common scenario that I see in my practice is a couple will have a whirlwind romance: feel amazing connection, fall in love…but then the guy starts to pull away or blows hot and cold (he’s interested one week and distant the next). And this might go on for some time before the guy finally admits that he’s not ready for a relationship. This is heartbreaking for both of you because it’s really painful to break up after you’ve become deeply bonded.
When you’re dating you can check to see if your values are aligned, but once you are in a committed relationship it can take some information, new skills and practice to co-create a loving partnership. As a relationship coach I help my clients look at the big picture: to feel truly heard and to understand the other. I think the key here is “partnership” which allows each person to be respected and to contribute to the greater good of the relationship and to the world. We have no models for healthy relationships so most people are building the plane as they’re flying it!

Truth is that our bodies and heads tell us to act in a certain way after a break up, we act on impulse and our emotions. This is not a good idea as you may already know. It is common to be tearful and erratic, not knowing where to turn, sometimes we can blurt things out to our ex boyfriends that we regret later. Everybody does it, it is human nature to do so, but the thing that you have to remember is that you have to fight against these urges if you are to be successful in making him see you positively and want you back again.
1. It stops the damage. If you respond with calm and poise when your ex breaks up with you, you let the relationship stand on its own instead of giving the response to the break up a featured status. And your odds of an ex coming back to you with the relationship itself being what is judged is much higher than the final experience with you being your fit.

He broke up with me last week because he didn't feel it was right anymore. He said didn't love me anymore. He didn't imagine me in his future anymore. He said he hasn't been feeling the same feeling from when we started dating for two months. He didn't tell me right away because he wanted to love me. He wanted to believe he loved me. He said he wished he loved me and that we worked out. He apologised to me for not feeling the same way anymore.

because only men pull away…all my life is full of all that “it’s not you it’s me” crap,every single time,you try to be nice,understanding,give time and offer encouragement and every time…this…i’m starting to think something is wrong with me,i am already in enough despair as it is and hearing this when i am choosing my words like before a trial or something…it is the most horrible feeling i have ever experienced,and i have been through loss,rough accidents and others…and this hurts worse than all together,the feeling of hopelessness when you pull out even your own soul to show that person everything will be alright and still…nothing.
honestly I did not show appreciation to my ex while we together. I missed valentines day and his birthday. when I decided to make the best of times with him it was to late. then I asked him for closure and he came talked in person. I told what if I got therapy because there is something going on that effects my relationships. he told its been three weeks and I’m over you….. I cried of course then looked at him and said I feel better. just got sick of being sad, doesn’t mean I’m over him. but its step. then I told me what was really going on and told he’s proud of me said I’m strong person and good girl. he told me to feel free to talk to him and said he wont be jerk to me. he also wants to improve. it sucks that I was to occupied with other stuff in life that i didn’t learn to understand him but oh well. that doesn’t mean has feelings for me. sadly I cant live in world that revolves around him I must create my own world and keeping living up to my goals. this relationship may have been painful but helped realize what I need. we are blind from pain because only look at the bad qualities that it brings us but we all need realize its actually beautiful because it shapes us. I’m going to embrace it this break up..
Hi, my boyfriend and I had a breakup since 2 months. The reason is quite complicated as even I, myself has doubts on that whether I made a mistake or is this just a misunderstanding. We had around 4-5 breakups in a row but we loved each other like anything. He always served that "no contact" period after breakup which made me confused that whether he's actually interested or not. In that confusion, I accepted his friend's relationship proposal while he was on his NC just to have my rebound relationship. When he came back, I told him that I'm now dating his friend as he has feelings for me. At that time, he reacted a bit and called his friend to let him know that we are patching it up. Then he broke up with me again and went for that NC again at the same night. I called his friend and asked him not to leave as I was not understanding his attitude (his friend is no doubt a very nice person). Then again he(my ex) came back after a month until then I realized that I love him(my ex) and I couldn't be with anyone else but him so I avoided his friend. Then we restarted our relationship in a strongest manner possible. I did already told him that I was in a relationship with his friend but I can't deny this fact that I realized that I couldn't be with anyone else but him. Also, I told him that I will break up with his friend as soon as I get a chance to talk to him. Then, he just read my old text messages in his friend's cellphone. Those messages were intimidating as I was in a relationship with him at that time. So, he got so horribly angry and broke up with me again and said that I cheated on him while I know that I am still so in love with him. Before reading this article I tried a lot to get him back at any cost. Calling/texting each and everything I was trying since two months. He always replies to my texts and it seems like he's so much hurt but now he just don't want me to be with him anymore. I'm feeling so guilty, desperate and confused as I can't find out whether I did something which had taken him away my true love away from me forever or whether it is just a emotional flood from him as he didn't like me getting closer to someone else. Please help me.

Hi there. My boyfriend of two and a half years just broke up with me a week ago. He currently just left for college and since I'm one year younger I'm still home. We had been planning to stay together throughout college and there have been many talks about our goals for the future. We never fought, but always communicated. We were a real pure relationship and everyone around us could see we were meant to be. All the sudden he gets drunk at a party one night and breaks up with me over a phone call. I know your probably thinking it's because we wants his freedom in college and doesnt want to be tied down, but he isn't that kind of guy. He specifically told me that he has been depressed this pass week and doesn't think that his life will be happier or better without me, but he "has to do this." My bestfriend also told me he told her he won't fall in love again until he's 25. The reason why he claims to be doing this is because long distance is too hard for him if we dont have a future together. But, he has always seen a future and admitted that he is pushing me away right now. My bestfriend (who is also his best friend) thinks that he thinks he is saving me from eventual heartbreak in the future. I don't know how to get him to realize he's not thinking clearly, especially because he only thought about breaking up with me one day before he actually did it and said "he couldn't do it unless he was drunk." He also told me he loved me 45 minutes before he broke up with me and said how he couldn't wait for me to visit and how all his friends were going to love me. So honestly I think he is just getting scared about the future because he tends to do that. He has texted me to make sure I was okay and still wants to be in my life. How do I make him realize I'm the one again because up until the day he broke up with me he believed it? I dont know what to do.


As an older man, I’m not sure if I can explain what’s happening and how relationships have changed over the past 40 years or so. Young men, like my son and his friends, view relationships differently from their fathers and are in the process of changing the relationship landscape forever. In my day, marriage was assumed and divorce was rare. Today, divorce is assumed, along with alimony and marriage, is to be avoided at all costs. Your boyfriends might not be pulling away from you as much as they are pulling away from a society that views them as disposable… Read more »
Make peace with your fears and insecurities to diminish their power. When you learn how to manage fear, you become confident in dating and relationships. To overcome fear, empower yourself with knowledge. Become a student of relationships, instead of a victim of them. Study love. Read. Watch. Listen. Find every way you can to learn about how men and women work, so that you can become both a student, and a master of love in your life.
MadameNoire is a sophisticated lifestyle publication that gives African-American women the latest in fashion trends, black entertainment news, parenting tips and beauty secrets that are specifically for black women. Black women seek information on a wide variety of topics including African-American hair care, health issues, relationship advice and career trends - and MadameNoire provides all of that.
This is actually the way dating used to work in the old days. Take my aunt, who has been happily married for several decades. She once told me how, when she got engaged to my uncle, she had to write three “Dear John” letters to men she was seeing! And, by the way, she said this to me as my uncle was sitting right beside her with a glint in his eye. My aunt was a smart lady: She was taking care of herself first by making sure she was committing to the right man – someone who completely adored her and wanted to give her his heart forever.
My ex started slowly reaching out to me after 3 months no contact. Maybe a message once every couple weeks. I played it cool & did everything I should do. The texts increased in frequency over the course of a month to the point where it was an everyday thing and they were going from casual texts to him implying he missed certain things about us. I did very well keeping my cool and maintaining a flirty fun persona while still having my own life and not eagerly texting back. At this point, I got a random feeling to check to see if he was online dating and when I looked I found that he had just signed up for a dating site. Instinct kicked in and instead of taking the time to assess about what it could mean and respond appropriately, I reacted. I texted him I miss him and lost all control. Ever since than he still initiates contact sometimes but only through Snapchat and it’s very informal or sometimes he won’t answer me and leaves me hanging. He never speaks of any memories or flirts anymore and now I am the one doing it. Everything flipped and I don’t know what to do. I was so close to getting him to hang out and see me. I feel like he’s no longer interested and since he is online dating I feel I have lost my chance. I really regret letting my panick ruin what could have been a reconciliation. It was stupid and careless. Idk what to do from here.
If you do fall into the trap of being cold, then it can really push a guy away. If he’s getting in touch with you, then it means you’ve been on his mind. This is a solid foundation for making things right between the two of you again, but if you’re acting like a cold ice warrior, then it’s only going to confirm to him that he made the right decision in leaving you.
SIDE NOTE: You may feel as if I am really grilling your approach to relationships here, but as I said, there’s a positive purpose to it. You need to see what went wrong first so that when you apply my how to win your ex back steps, you won’t be sabotaging the effectiveness of those steps by behaving in the ways that got you dumped in the first place.
(40 year old male/35 year old girlfriend/six year relationship that had two previous breaks) I broke up with my ex girlfriend in April. We lived together a year but fought often over our differences. She’s messy, I am clean. She pushed aggressively for marriage but I wanted to work through some of our problems first. She moved out but we remained in contact because I babysit her 4 year old. In September I made it known I still love her and wanted to try again. But because of the fights and because I was pretty mean to her towards the end she was not interested and moved on. She’s now with a new boyfriend (shoe she says she gets along better with) and possibly living with him. I got therapy and fixed things with myself but made the mistake of coming off as desperate. I sent a couple lengthy emails expressing how much I value her and how things would be different and a good amount of texts. I have since backed off. What do you think is the best course of action considering we broke up on such bad terms? She’s super negative about how she remembers things but when I asked if she would ever consider giving us a chance if things didn’t work out she said she would. What are your thoughts
Hi Eric,i really need ur advice thrs a guy whom i love i ve alrdy askd him out we’ve meet twice bt iam very serious about him..he said he does not want to b in a relationship..as he just had a break up wth smbdy…bt he also sayss that he will never let me go things would be the same as wen ur in relationship just it wont be official..but niwdays i feel he gets irritated while speakn online…i want him to be mine forevr…wat should i do to get him commit nd love me….
Im not gonna brag but my momma gave birth to a beauty and I can’t hide it on my worst day. I’m intelligent, sweet and spicy saucy, intuitive. I work out and have a very nice natural body and no im not in my 20’s or 30’s either. everywhere i go almost everyday i get noticed by men and women alike. ive come to the conclusion that some of these me DO NOT BELIEVE THEY DESERVE A FINE ASS WOMAN such as myself. I know this because, with a couple of them they went for the woman who had less requirements and lower standards. they were I won’t say ugly, but i mean if we’re being honest, they were not a woman I could have been compared to. i hate saying this because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we are born with what we have. i don’t say what i said to sound rude, but all women don’t look the same just like all men are not 220 with perfect abs full head of hair and perfect teeth and gorgeous blue eyes etc. plus one of them even told me he couldn’t give me what i was looking for. and he was probably right after hindsight. i do want a man who can afford a car, and i do want a man who is willing to call me and not use texting as much. i do want a man who isn’t hung up on his druggie ex girlfriend and I do want a man who can get his own place to live. yeah now that i think about it he was right.
Saskia Nelson is the talent behind the award-winning and internationally acclaimed Saturday Night’s Alright, the UK’s coolest dating photography business, specializing in creating dating photos that kick ass and win dates for 100s of single people. She is also the co-founder of Irresistible Dating. She has been credited by Time magazine for kick-starting the genre of dating photography and is recognized as the leading industry expert in the UK & US on all things dating-photo related.
By keeping an air of mystery about you, your man will become obsessed and will want to get to know everything there is to know about you. Let him know how you expect to be treated without giving him a list of rules of course (that could be awkward!). This works both way remember, you want to please him as much as he wants to please you so learn everything there is to know about him.

"Help! How can I get back my ex!" is the distressed plea of many of my clients when they contact me to launch therapy. After years of gradual relationship deterioration, failing communication in a relationship, and off-putting interactions, at least in the eyes of their partner, some final-straw development suddenly propelled their partner to insist that they separate.
On the last day of our holiday this week my boyfriend expressed how he didn't find us compatible and still loved me but not in the way to be with me anymore. He said he was feeling it for a while hoping the holiday would prove him wrong but an argument on holiday confirmed his feelings. He has changed his relationship status to hidden but has still kept it as in relationship with me. I love him and really want him back and agreed to being friends because I know he's going through a lot of personal things. What do I do to win him back?
It is also important that we spend some time talking about how to establish contact with your ex the right way. You cannot force the issue when reaching out to your ex; it needs to feel natural to the both of you in order to avoid any awkwardness. You can do it in person, over the phone, by text or social media; but no matter what, it shouldn’t feel forced.
Once you’ve sent your insecurities packing, you’ll see that manipulation and passive-aggressive behaviour is so much harder than simply being the fabulous woman you are. You’re the girlfriend who supports her man, is fun to be with and always great in bed. Most importantly, you have your own life which you prioritise, giving him healthy space to appreciate just how high value you are.
I’m sure that you’ve heard the saying the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence quite a few times before. It is very very relevant to love and relationships as well. After being with someone for a long time it is easy to be tempted by something new or to get bored! Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you can easily find someone better!
If long distance is constantly going to make him feel this way, you might want to reconsider doing anything to win him back for the time being, at least until you're able to close in on the distance. Otherwise, you're going to end up facing more situations where he overthinks or stresses himself out because you're not physically around, and ends up breaking up again down the road.
Answer: Stop being so aggressive. The more you push, the more he is going to pull away. Give him some space to figure stuff out without all the questions and accusations. If you push him too far, you are going to lose him. If you take some of the pressure off, he may just find his way back to you. [Read: 20 glaring signs you have a control freak in you]
I saw a whatsapp pick of a workmate on my guys phone, he said he used it to let someone leave him alone I got a bit jealous and now he for the first time in our relationship got distant and didn’t answer my calls or texts, I decided to leave him alone since he’s very busy with work but I saw him and it seems he’s chasing me down and came up to me, we had a good brief conversation, though short but I can sense he was happy to see me.
Me and my 2 years girlfriend broke up in August because she felt that I don’t need her. I basically do all the don’ts that were outlined. I was angry back then because she didn’t say the reason she wants to brake up. I did most of the deadly miskates you mentioned above i.e texting, begging, show affection, name calling. What can I do to win her back after what I did?

Hello I could really use some advice. I did 2 months of no contact after my ex and after that I apologized for the way I acted before. That was about a month ago and we have pretty much been talking for hours almost every day. Now however, she has been going hot and cold on me and I have no idea why. We have been seeing each other a lot lately and she always seems really happy to see me, but lately she hasn't been responding to my texts (I have only tried twice but now I just want to avoid seeming desperate)I don't know what to do now. Sometimes she seems happy around me but others I can tell she is blatantly ignoring me and I'm all confused. What can I do? Thanks in advance.

Now you might be wondering, how can I fix this and undo the damage? The answer is the same as above, just pull back, give him space, and focus on yourself. Working overtime trying to undo the damage caused by acting needy is still you acting needy. It’s you being desperate for his approval and for his love and affection. Guys hate feeling that sort of pressure from a woman, the feeling that they need to be a certain way or she will get upset.
It’s as simple as that. If you feel like something’s not right, in all probability, something is definitely wrong. Communicate and make the effort. At times, the relationship may be a failed cause because your man’s a bad guy. But almost always, the relationship stagnates because you and your lover have started to take the relationship for granted. [Read: 25 relationship rules for a successful long term relationship]
Be someone that he’ll miss. Are you being your awesome, fun self when you do get to speak to him or spend time with him? Do you keep cool, calm, and collected? Do you have a laugh with him? Do you compliment him? Guys are pretty simple beings. They want to see and speak to people who make them feel good. If you’re a positive person to be around, there’s no denying that he’ll want to hang out with you more and more.
Peter realized that now, as an adult, he had more options than he had had as a child for finding solutions to his life challenges. Therein lay the hope for change, pointing the way toward healing. He could safely ask his therapist for attention.  His wife also did not intent to put him in a demeaning or emasculating position.  She just wanted change.
Thank you very very very much for the advice! Everyone: follow this advice exactly and there is not a chance you’ll not have the desired result! Actually I’m a mum and used this article to advice my girl who was separated and very miserable She followed exactly what I told her and I prayed it would work as I had no experience at all It worked!! It worked great actually and under the worst circumstances!! Thank you is not enough really!

He says that he was not comfortable being at his trueself with me. we were in a relationship for 3 years and now he says this.He's way too inconsistent about his thoughts and gives a list of reasons for the break up and he wants to be only FRIEDS with me at least for a while. it's been almost 4 months since we broke up, I've been pleading him all this while and today I decided to Start No Contact period for at least 2 - 3 months until December. Kindly help me in getting him back. I'm very much serious about this guy.Also please Suggest me if i'm doing it right.
No need to sign up at the homeless shelter only to impress him. Little things in your everyday life, from buying coffee for the woman in line behind you to walking your neighbor's dog, count too. Make an effort to do these things on a regular basis, but also make sure you're showing your selfless side when you're with him. When you're a kind and gracious person, men (and women) are more likely to want to be around you—both consciously and subconsciously.
If you wish to win him back, you're going to have to make some positive changes to your life, which takes time. This is why he feels too that both parties should go their own ways aka giving each other space before thinking about reconciliation. I would recommend considering NC for the time being to work on yourself and focus on picking yourself up emotionally.
Since the answer to the eternal puzzle of how to make a guy commit has been answered, what are you waiting for? Try our tips out on your date, your boyfriend or the eternal frat boy you just haven’t seemed to be able to convince to commit for a long time. Make sur ethat you are both on the same level and that you have not mistakenly misread any signs along the way. We’re almost sure he won’t resist your charm and he’ll be a changed man in no time. That works for us ladies, doesn’t it?

Me and my 2 years girlfriend broke up in August because she felt that I don’t need her. I basically do all the don’ts that were outlined. I was angry back then because she didn’t say the reason she wants to brake up. I did most of the deadly miskates you mentioned above i.e texting, begging, show affection, name calling. What can I do to win her back after what I did?
Use this article as a guideline on what you should be doing, and improve on the areas you were lacking (insecurities, etc) before considering trying anything again. He could be right, but keep in mind that his cheating behavior is still wrong as long as he was in a relationship with you regardless of his reason. He could have expressed and communicated with you regarding what he felt instead of cheating just because he didn't feel satisfied with the sex. Do think about the entire situation and relationship, and decide for yourself whether he is right (about your shortcomings as a reason to break up) or just being unreasonable and finding excuses.

all said and done, i accepted this breakup gracefully and did not beg, pled, etc. to get her back. i was devastated for past 14 days up to now, and i recently found out she told our mutual friend that she feels my insecurity has gotten out of way (i was shocked because i didn't show any sign or do anything to show her that). maybe once, where i ask why are u comparing my size with her gym friends. do u think me being smaller size has anything to do with ur gym friends who are so big in size? maybe its true i have some insecurities, but it HAS NOT gotten out of way. i was rude in that conversation.

Long story short, this article helped put things in perspective again. I’m going to try my Damndest to give him space when he seems to pull away, play the cool understanding girl a little while longer, & endure. I do love him with every ounce of my heart & soul. I have always been a very confident person & have NEVER let anyone “treat me” this way. But, I’ve also never loved someone so deeply nor with this personality type before.


So if your relationship with your ex stayed the same after 6 months or after a year (in other words if it failed to evolve and grow) then it would have violated her desire for progression. It would have made her realize that you are not the guy who’s going to give her a long-term partnership and finally a family. She would then have seen you as a poor suitor, dumped you and gone off to find a guy who shows more signs of commitment.
I’ve loved reading your articles and they’ve really helped me recognize what’s been tickling the corner of my self-awareness lately about my self-worth being directly related to why I always end up dating people that don’t treat me well and are emotionally unavailable. The one thing that I’m trying to figure out in this article and in my current situation is – how do you discern between a relationship (casual or exclusive) ending due to the other person being emotionally unavailable vs. being emotionally available and being turned off by your insecurities? At the end of the day, I recognize that both are directly related to my lack of self-love and that is what needs to be fixed, but in the former case, if I had previously fixed this it would have resulted in me ending the relationship as soon as I recognized the other person was emotionally unavailable/disrespecting me and in the latter it seems like the relationship would have had a chance at working out. I feel like it’s much easier to forgive myself for not holding boundaries and walking away when I knew I should have than for literally being the reason something potentially great didn’t work out..
You need to become the person that they fell in love with in the first place. No, scratch that, you need to be a person better than the person they fell in love with. You need to show them that you are not the miserable, needy loser who was begging when they broke up with you. There is a good chance that they have associated a lot of negative feelings with you. You have to break the pattern and give them a taste of the new you.

This is a complex one but necessary to surviving in a rapid dating world, says sex and relationship expert, Dr. Nikki Goldstein. “Building strength and self-confidence is key. The reality of it is, dating can be hard and feelings can be hurt. But if you know who you are and how you want to be treated then you won’t allow someone (or the dating scene) to continually hurt or discourage you.”
None of this is to excuse men pulling away, and this covers only some men. But it does explain why many, many men feel more comfortable with their “hanging buddies” — who are in all the same predicaments they are — more than they feel comfortable with they women in their lives. I think many men both desire and feel profoundly uncomfortable with women, and terrified of being judged. Because they’ve already judged themselves.
Your relationship with a special guy has come and gone, but now you want him back. It's not unheard of for a couple to get back together after they've taken time away from each other, so don't give up hope. Just be sure to put plenty of thought into the reasons you broke up before attempting to get back together, as this can help you make the relationship work the second time around.

I am dating a guy in a distance relationship for about three months, at the beggining we felt unbelievable connection soulmate like, he said he wants to marry and have children, he was caring and sweet (flowers, gifts, lots of time together). However I know he cheated on me at the very beginning of dating (I forgived him because that was very fresh relation).

One of the keys to getting back together will be your ability to stay active and not let your sadness or depression lead to inaction. It is very common to want to stay on your couch, not do anything or have no desire to see anyone after a breakup. The issue is that if you do not force yourself to stay active and to undertake certain actions, you will keep digging yourself further and further down the hole.

It's common that someone continues to love a person even though they're no longer in love. It simply means that the passionate feelings she might have once had for you has started to fade, but it doesn't mean that she's stopped caring about you altogether (which is why she still shows care and concern). I suggest figuring out what went wrong and where she started to lose her spark for you and see if you are able to re-ignite that spark again.
Hi, I had been dating a guy for 2.5 years, he’s a Muslim and I’m a Christian,during this time he was completely in love with me and he has done a lottttt of things to keep me happy and to show how much he loves me... because he was never like this and I could feel it and even his family and friends had told me that he has never been soooo serious before for any girl and I myself felt his love for me then... and I had amazing connections with his family and even most of his relatives side knew me.. though we used to fight a lot we always managed to get back and love each other more.. but the few days before the breakup we had been fighting and that is when he went to his cousins place far from where we live .. he stayed at his ex’s place who is his cousin and he had dated her for 2 years before me ... and he suddenly started getting feelings for her and they were so strong that he went and told her mom that he wants to get married to her and even kissed her and stuff ... but then after he came back from there he has ditched her a million times already by kissing me and getting physical with me and even after that girl knew this she accepted him like twice .. and when there were problems in their relationship ( now it’s almost 2 months since we broke up and since he’s got into a relation with her ) he used to come to me asking if I will or will not give him another chance and that he loves me .. this has happened twice and both the times I used to agree and then we used to get physical ...I have come out of my country that means we don’t meet and he doesn’t even talk ( I have broken 4 rules which are mentioned above because I hadn’t read the article before) so now my ex says he doesn’t want me at all and he doesn’t love me...and again their marriage is fixed like they say they’ll get married after 5 years once he has achieved something in life ..both of us are 20 and his present girlfriend is 18...in this situation where families are involved and where he claims to love her soooo much will is till be able to get him back? Please help ... is it still possible ?
Want to know ways to make him miss you? Whether you want your ex to miss you, want a man to want you, just want your boyfriend to miss you more, there are predictable ways to get him to miss you. If you’re in a long distance relationship, you’re about to be apart from your man or you would like a new man to chase you more, then this article is for you.
My ex-boyfriend recently broke up with me almost two weeks ago. We had been dating for 3 years and 4 months. The day after the breakup I asked to meet him and tried to convince him. I failed. The next day I called him and failed to convince him again. 6 days later I met with him again to get closure, but ended up with nothing again. It is my 5th day of no contact and I intend to give him a month or two of NC. We have "broken up" before, but it was usually only for a day and typically were caused by small fights where one of us was stressed and lashed out. One of the reasons we broke up this time was because he said he didn't have romantic feelings towards me and just loved me as a friend. He said that he struggled with his feelings for me in our third year and started to feel like our relationship was a chore and allowed these feelings to bottle up inside of him. He also had a lot going on which I think is another factor that affected our relationship. When he broke up with me he said things like "I don't love you anymore", he agreed that I made him feel loved and wanted, he said I tried my best, but said he still couldn't love me like that. He also said that he didn't want to go through that cycle of breaking up and making up and wasn't ready to be in a relationship right now. Although I want to accept this gracefully and respect his decision, I still would like him in my life. I feel confident we can make it work. Part of me is scared that he won't reach out or be open to starting a new relationship with me, but I love him and want to be the one to make him happy. I don't know if we have a chance. Everyone says we don't have a chance and that he won't change his mind, but I want to know what you think. I want to believe and start this NC period with some optimism and hope. Do we have a chance?
If you're not usually one to speak up, Mintz suggests trying it solo first. "Next time you're masturbating, make some noise," she says. "You might find something is really fun, and then you can transfer that to partner sex." Otherwise, saying anything that's praising, instructive, and even a little dirty tends to go over well with men. Tell him exactly how you want to be touched (and where, and using what) and you'll his pleasure meter — and yours —through the roof.
Guys are well known for wanting sex. Some of us long for that kind of physical intimacy. You’ve met the perfect guy, yet you’re trying your best to show him how much of a lady you are. Truth be told, any dating rules you follow which suggest you wait for specific amount of dates will do more harm than good for your dating life. You should have sex whenever you feel comfortable having sex.
By keeping an air of mystery about you, your man will become obsessed and will want to get to know everything there is to know about you. Let him know how you expect to be treated without giving him a list of rules of course (that could be awkward!). This works both way remember, you want to please him as much as he wants to please you so learn everything there is to know about him.
If your man is the one for you then you need to learn to understand him. You need to learn what motivates him and what scares him. Once you understand him you should be able to create a relationship where he doesn’t feel threatened. If he doesn’t feel threatened then he will be less likely to pull away which should result in the two of you having more time to develop your relationship.
First (and most important), promise not to judge the other. Then, privately write out scenarios that have tantalized you and place them in a box. Next time you're feeling hot and heavy, pull one out. Either jump right into fulfilling that fantasy or, if you need a little more time to adjust, ask what it is about that fantasy that your partner likes, Dr. Kort says. "Sometimes, its themes can be addressed in different scenarios that feel comfortable for both of you," he adds.
Yes! Master this, and life becomes easier because you are living life, instead of ‘auditioning’ as Natasha sometimes refers to. When you realise who you are and what you’re worth, you become authentic through self acceptance. Only then will you be truly ‘seen’ by others. And only then will you tell the users and abusers to move on, because you won’t value the shi* they have to offer. Because you will know your own worth.
my relationship was of 2.5 years.its been two months(breakup).reason was that i was saying him to take breakup because he was busy two three days.it was like three breakups in a week and then patchups becuz of me.i was always do this brkup dialouge when i was quarrelling with him.this time it gets serious.he is saying that there are 6-7 years to our marriage.it cannot get to the marriage like this.i am also an introvert type.this is also a little problem.my relation is long distant.we didnt meet.means breakup was on watsapp.
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