I was in a friends with benifits relationship and after a couple of months i told him i loved him i knew he didnt feel that way for me but i was ok with it . We spent alot of time together alot of sex and got on a rutine i would stay over night one day a week and we did dinner and drinks watch games etc i thought things were great. Then he needed space blew me off for the weekend and now barly talks to me he is 54 and in am 47 at our age we know what we want but i do love him and just dont know what to do i tried to talk to him and he just says he needs space.. do you think he is not coming back? Do you think hes scared ? I dont know what to do
Regardless of how a relationship ends, all breakups result in the same thing: Every guy on the planet -- seriously, every f*cking guy -- will wait until their exes have moved on from their relationships to want their exes back. This fact is so universally predictable that women anticipate and LIVE for the day when they have moved on and feel unaffected by their ex-boyfriends' efforts to win back their love. We basically fantasize about it.

In order to make a man commit, you need to him to realize that he needs you just as much as you need him in your life. Obviously you can’t just come right out and say “you need me” and try and push this into his head. He needs to realize it for himself… with a little helping hand. The best way to do this is to simply tell him that you love him regularly.

It’s also giving him the impression that he doesn’t have to put in any work for you.  And, let me fill you in on a little secret: men–well really, people in general — value that which they’ve worked for. Imagine how you would feel if you won an award just because they were pulling names out of a hat versus if you won a trophy for something you worked for. Getting a lottery prize is always nice, but getting a reward for hard work is more satisfying.
I’m going through this exact thing. It’s heartbreaking. I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months now. He told me a while ago that he had fallen for me. I told him I felt the same. The last few weeks have been really hard. With either really short texts or no reply at all. He’s been busy with work. I know this is true. I get that he can’t answer every text straight away. I also understand he has a life of his own. We’ve barely said about 5 sentences to each other over the last few days. It’s taken a lot for me to start this relationship. After being single for about 11 years. I don’t want to end up in the exact same place as I was a few months ago.
Not feeling confident in a relationship can really do some damage: Low self-esteem is sometimes linked to low sex drive, which could make things less heated in the bedroom. Getting active, setting goals, and even smiling can improve self-confidence. But don’t forget that an unhealthy relationship can actually cause low-self esteem, so steer clear of someone who makes you feel less than great.
Answer: Sometimes all he needs is a little coaxing to figure out what’s going on. That involves being patient and giving him space and time to figure things out for himself and to discover what it is that he’s feeling. If you keep questioning him, things are going to get more jumbled, which will only lead to more confusion and will keep you two at odds. [Read: 9 ways to get your man to start communicating with you]
If you're not usually one to speak up, Mintz suggests trying it solo first. "Next time you're masturbating, make some noise," she says. "You might find something is really fun, and then you can transfer that to partner sex." Otherwise, saying anything that's praising, instructive, and even a little dirty tends to go over well with men. Tell him exactly how you want to be touched (and where, and using what) and you'll his pleasure meter — and yours —through the roof.
Wow, the anger. No wonder you may be having relationship issues. It has nothing to do with lying or hiding true feelings. It’s about letting a guy have his space. If you come after me saying how horrible I am etc. etc. I will NEVER want to see you again. Nobody likes that kind of women, and no man wants to date his mother. Also pulling away is not “bad behavior.” Would you rather he spend time with you but verbally and physically abuse you? Bad behavior is if the guy is rude and abusive and mean, etc. Pulling away is a man’s way of saying “Look, I like you a lot, but I really need some time and space to sort things out.” If you can’t accept that not everything is rosy and happy all the time, and that if the man you “love” needs to pull away and you just bark and say “you’re behaving badly,” then you have no reason to be in a relationship.
Your ability to surprise your ex can make or break your chances of ultimately getting back together. In fact the element of surprise is so important in this process that when I’m asked how to get an ex back during one on one coaching sessions I sometimes simply answer surprise your ex! I obviously later go on to explain at great length why surprising an ex is important and how you should go about it!
Sometimes the break up is so unique or troubling or complex, that it requires some specialized coaching.  Or sometimes, people do better if they can talk to someone who is an expert at helping folks with their relationship troubles.  Well, if you fall into that category, then you are in luck.  All you need to do is reach out to me (i.e. click Coaching Services in my website’s Menu Section) and I am sure we can work out something!
On the flip side, some men will pull away just as much if their date strongly insists that they must pay their own share. As callous as this may sound, most of us have egos bigger than Mt. Kilimanjaro, yet are as fragile as a fly. Trying to assert dominance in this situation may make your date run away. Even though you’ve done nothing wrong. Yes, I confess… we can be just as confusing to you, as women are to us.
Definitely focus on improving yourself first before trying to win her back again. However, since you've been together only for a month there may be a possibility that she would move on so you'll have to prepare for that. Use this as a learning curve on where you're lacking and work on improving yourself, and if you want to win her back after, you should treat it as if you were chasing her for the first time.

Do not say yes every time he asks you out Saying sorry, I’m busy, to every third or fourth date guarantees to keep him interested and challenged to win you over. If he asks you why you are busy keep it vague saying you already had plans for that night. Then suggest the following evening. That is all he needs to know. He will wonder if there is another man in the picture and that will set off his hunter instincts. This will drive him mad with desire trying to figure out where you are and who you are with.
First thing I would suggest is to run no contact if you didn’t already. After that, consider a trip to the Philippines for a holiday. Contact her a few days before, making it very clear that you’re there for a holiday, not to see her specifically, but that you’re open to meeting up if she is. She can’t find out that you’re there just to see her, because that would come across needy. Tell her you’re also visiting another neighbouring country too, so that she can see you’re there to enjoy yourself irrespective of her.
It’s always nice to know when the man you’re in love with misses you whenever you’re not together. And so you try to do a few things here and there to make sure that he really feels your absence whenever you’re not spending time with one another. You’re trying all the tricks of the trade; but you still don’t get the sense that he misses you when you’re not around. What else is there to do? You thought that absence would make his heat grow fonder, but you’re not doing it right somehow. You’re not getting the effect that you want and it’s really confusing you.
Every word, every touch and every kiss is a part of the seduction, no matter if you know her for two days or two decades. The men who ignore this fact are the ones who stop making an effort, who settle down without making settling down worthwhile for the girl they are with. These are the guys who ask themselves “why did she leave me?” while she holds the hand of another man who understands the universal law that the seduction never ends.
Currently in No contact now with my Long Distance Ex Girlfriend of 3 amazing months (was going to fly out next months to see her for 3 months, before we broke up), went through August in a "Pause" (Her idea) was limited contact during August and asked her beginning of September what was going on... she said Nothing was going on! and said she doesn't have time for a relationship, she wouldn't take my calls either! Our Relationship went sour after she snapped at me beginning of August after I woke her up (she has a bad heart and he not sleeping and with her stress at work she ended up in hospital that weekend, she blames me for trying to kill her)... That weekend was just horrendous on her and me... She hasn't been the same again and said then that our relationship wouldn't be the same... her best friends told her to break up with me, she said no because she still loves me... but she kept me on a string for a month before completely breaking up beginning of September.. I've been in No Contact for 13 days now... Started Running again, focusing on my work and planning an overseas trip... She also watches my Instagram stories as well... and out of curiosity I just looked and saw she goes online on Facebook when I post something... so she's definitely watching me... Not sure what that means... I know shes stressing... I'm ending No Contact on the 26th September... might extend passed the 10th October (Her Birthday)... I love her more than anything and she's an incredible woman, we just click... BUT... towards the end of July beginning August things went sideways... I have a feeling (at least I hope) she still loves me... But focusing my energies on other things and working on myself as you awesome guys have said! I want to marry this girl... but I understand things will take time... she has been posting depressing posts on social media as of late though. Any advice would be great.
On the other hand, if your relationship is more like Boris and Natasha’s, all he’s hearing is you nagging for every little thing he does. The two of you might argue often, even though you care deeply for one another. Then all he’s going to feel is pain. This will not lead to him missing you. He may, in fact, choose to get away from you as often as he can!
I was in a situation that still confuses me. Maybe you can help. I know long distance is hard, but I was in one for 4 months. I showed up great – warm, joyous, playful. We had seen each other 3 times and were planning on a visit at the holidays. Due to previous things that were planned for both of us – international travel and grad school exams, we knew it would be 8 weeks to see each other. He travelled and we spoke 4 times over 12 days for 2-3 hours, just having fun. When he got back, he called 10 times in 6 days, emailed, texted, and wrote me a letter about what an amazing influence I was and how we had this great chemistry. He started saying “love you” at the end of a few calls, and I said “love you too”, but never initiated it as I knew we were falling and needed to see each other. I went on an international vacation for 2 weeks and common times to talk were difficult (and I was having fun). We spoke twice by Skype with him asking when we could speak again. We scheduled a third and I emailed him once or twice telling him what fun stuff was happening and wishing him well on his studying. The last call he was late for, which it felt dispointed as I had asked if he just wanted to talk when I was home and he insisted we set up a time. I only said it once, he apologized and we let it go.

Is there another possible explanation for what seems like hot and cold behavior? Yes! If it’s not something new going on in his life that’s changed his routine, it could be about your relationship. It’s possible his feelings are dwindling, but it’s also possible he’s just settling into a more natural routine now that he feels the relationship is more settled.
As much flack as classic romantic comedies receive for being unrealistic, some of their messages ring loud and true when explaining why men pull away. More often than not, experts explain most men withdraw for one of three reasons: they’re lost interest because he doesn’t see a future for your twosome, he’s afraid of becoming too vulnerable with you, or he feels rushed to commit to a more serious union.

They stop chasing their dreams, they stop looking after themselves, they stop creating an awesome life – and they lose what it was that the woman was likely attracted to in the first place. What do you want to do with your life? What are you passionate about? What are you interested in? Keep working on those thing. Stay hungry, stay passionate, stay motivated – and stay attractive.
Well i’m basically after the no contact period and im texting my ex again. We shared a lot so i texted him about this show we both were watching and he relief. Since then we arenie taking but i’m the one initiating the contact (he sent me a funny video obce but that’s nothing i suppose). He told me that’s he doesnt see a future with me because i smoke and that Im too proud and irresponsible. We are both 20. So i texted him about talking and playing some video game to which he responded positively but at the same time he called his and mine friends on discord and asked then to Play with us. I was really friendly and I laughed a lot. We texted a bit and then conversation ended. We are going to a party with mutual friends on 2nd and I fear that he may be over me. I just dont know what to sat to him to make him rethink this and show him that I’ve changed. I quit smoking, i got less proud and I think I van make him happy. We shared a lot and he really was my second half and also the jest friend Ive ever had. I do love him and i care for him but i dont know excactly how to convince him that we can solve this out.
However, before we hit the ground running I feel it is important to mention a few things. The game plan outlined above is not set in stone. Every single relationship is unique and may require unique steps that I haven’t outlined. Knowing what to do can sometimes depend on your gut. So, if your gut is telling you that a particular tactic I have outlined won’t work for you I would definitely trust it. The main takeaway here is that you are going to have to get creative and sometimes even skip entire skips depending on how fast you are moving.
Your main goal in this section is to just open up communication. Remember though, you want to be in control at all times. That means that YOU have to be the one to end the conversation. To make matters more complicated you can’t get into a full blown conversation with him yet. This is simply a small baby step that you are using to test the waters and gauge where you are at.
I hope this article helped you understand what to do if a guy is pulling away. It’s a question I get asked a lot – so I wrote this article as a ‘band-aid’ to get rid of the worst of the symptoms right away. It’s important to note that if you really want him to stop pulling away forever, you need more powerful advice. If you’re ready for that, you need to read this right now: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Today I asked if I could call him to ask him about a few things I know he knows much about and likes. . He said yes and I called. He was a bit on edge at first but then we talked like we did before breakup and he was talking about some improvements he had done in his apartment and that he's waiting to get accepted to school etc. it was a nice talk, after a while asked him if I could come over some day to pick up my last stuff at his apartment and that's when it escalated. He got upset, wondering why I hadn't said something about those stuff before and why I was asking for them now and if I wanted my things I could pick them up outside his door when he's not at home. I tried to calm him down, and we agreed that he would contact me when I could come and get the things. The call didn't end... well according to plan. What should I do? I have also asked him twice before in texts if we could catch up for a coffee at some point,: He has been positive and said "well I'm busy today but maybe another day" or "I'm busy right now but another time? let's talk about later."

Long story short, this article helped put things in perspective again. I’m going to try my Damndest to give him space when he seems to pull away, play the cool understanding girl a little while longer, & endure. I do love him with every ounce of my heart & soul. I have always been a very confident person & have NEVER let anyone “treat me” this way. But, I’ve also never loved someone so deeply nor with this personality type before.
When I was younger I always used to real men in and then cast them back out. So when I was with them I was fun, talked about them more than me and didn’t ever nag them but as soon as the day/night ended I wouldn’t call or text (or even really think about them) til they got back in touch. Men love women like that. Since having kids and now being single again it’s not quite so easy due to lack of spare time and me worrying that each person isn’t going to be good enough for the rest of my life, but after reading this I need to get back on track with my old ways. When I was in a relationship I was exactly the same and would never expect them to do boring things like shopping or visiting my mums house for dinner and I wouldn’t gatecrash their family events. I’d encourage them to go and see friends but they end up wanting to be with you more then .
For years Peter had reacted to Paulette's complaints about him with defensiveness. When he did allow himself to hear information about what he was doing that troubled his wife, he'd get mad at himself.  Listening to her had escalated his agitation and distress instead of leading to learning. Now Peter decided he'd better address her concerns, beginning by writing out a list of all he could recall. "Information is power," he reminded himself to ease the sting of shame and guilt. 

"Help! How can I get back my ex!" is the distressed plea of many of my clients when they contact me to launch therapy. After years of gradual relationship deterioration, failing communication in a relationship, and off-putting interactions, at least in the eyes of their partner, some final-straw development suddenly propelled their partner to insist that they separate.
Good question! There really are so many angles to cover in this day and age. I guess technically opening a snapchat doesn’t count as making “contact,” but I also just don’t think it’s a good idea. I also recognize how hard it is to fight the temptation and not open it. So my advice would be to send him a quick message if he sends you snapchats being like, “I really need some time for myself right now and would appreciate it if you wouldn’t contact me,” and then don’t respond further if he does keep reaching out. And if you can be really strong, then ignore the snapchats. Hope this helps!
You are very welcome, credit where credit is due. I understand the dilemma you face (I am in a similar line of work as you) marketing is a way to reach a larger audience and spread your authentic message to women who need it most. These gimmicky writers end up sent to spam when they are always trying to “trick” women in to buying the latest ground breaker (which often it isn’t) there are many cowboys out there, and what I observe so often, sadly…is that many women BELIEVE it has to be difficult, perhaps even that there is something wrong with men and they must be tricked! the beauty of what you write is that you keep it simple and you speak in a way that reaches out to people, the great tragedy is that despite it being an uncomplicated and heartfelt message that truly works when actioned, it takes time and effort and a commitment to self growth to actually become this woman you describe. One who is happy, healthy and balanced…

So now that we know what the reasons might be, it's easier to understand how to react or, more importantly, how not to react. After careful observation of love and dating, this is what I know to be true: Convincing a man to love you will never work. Trying to persuade him to see how great you are together is pointless. Sharing your feelings with the hopes he will realize how much he means to you will also get you nowhere.


My ex cheated on me a few months ago. I stayed with him because I love him. I have all guy friends and a lot have fancied me and make jokes and stuff about it. My ex said he doesn’t like it and me sending them hearts. So I stopped. So clearly jealous but he knows I never liked any of them that way. He moved to Germany and things ended. Blah blah blah a lot happened and I annoyed after the break up. But he told someone that he can’t stand me. When they asked why he said I CHEATED ON HIM WHICH I NEVER DID. Why would he do this????
Getting back together with the one you love will require you to think outside the box and give serious consideration to what you can do to prove to your ex that you have evolved. If you keep doing the same things that you were doing during your relationship, and if you try to communicate with your ex in the same way; how can you reasonably expect a different outcome?
I need advice though. During one breakup he slept with someone else and came back saying how he realized he was in love with me etc. Although we were technically broken up we were still seeing and spending time with each other. Also being intimate. I’m really trying to move past this but his most recent pulling away has made me insecure and really psycho. We’re both older 39 and 41 professionals. His job is much more consuming and he has a lot in his life right now but says I add additional stress when really I just need reassurance (I know I have my own issues).
My girlfriend and I were together for three years and we got into a fight after I had asked if she saw me in her future. She suffers from severe anxiety and that question caused a lot of anxiety to spike. I pushed way too hard to get a response and I pushed her away as a result. My neediness and insecurity forced my best friend, the person that made me become a better version of myself, someone who made me feel like I could do anything, out of my life. I started no contact on September 20th and asked her to mail me my stuff on the 16th before then. I was really a mess and she ended up blocking me on all social media because of it. She still follows my sisters and cousin however and at a family wedding she looked at my sisters snapchat story which she saw me on in every single picture. I am confused as to what this means but I only got my stuff in the mail today, October 4th and she sent it on Tuesday the 2nd. I want to reach out to her and thank her for sending it and I want to be able to apologize for my behavior after the break up. I know I hurt her and I do not expect a response or even to get back together, I simply would like to be on speaking terms right now. But I do not know if it is 1, too soon to contact her and 2, if what I am writing sounds stupid or not...I am not the best writer and I used to send her my papers for what I called stupid check (shes brilliant and has phenomenal grammar). I am 21 and she is 24, we started dating in her senior year of college and my freshman year and became long distance. She met my family many times and my whole family loved her. She would come stay with us over the summer for a week at a time as well as for a week after Christmas. I definitely made mistakes but I just need some advice before approaching her. Any help I can get would be so useful.
Having found the love of her life in the early days of online dating. Lisa Shield became one of the first— and foremost—dating and relationship coaches in the nation. Over the years she has helped thousands of couples and singles find true love through a unique approach she calls “Naked” Dating & Relationships. She is currently finishing her book,”Naked Dating®” which is slated for release in 2016. Check out her site lisashield.com.
I never dated this guy but we had a fling for over a year now and we both established that we liked each other but agreed that we shouldn't date just yet. one day out of the blue, he starts ignoring me and completely cuts off contact. he seemed annoyed by me so i stopped contacting him too. it's been 5 months now but i still want him to talk to me like he used to and keep this fling going that could eventually end in us dating. should i just let it go or should i reach out to him? and how could i reach out to him without making it seem awkward or desperate?
Getting the partner to want to work at the marriage is generally one of the least effective ways to initial marriage upgrades. I like though your idea about understanding the other person better, especially if your partner is someone who doesn't open up and talk. The more you understand your partner's patterns and take those as given, the more you become ready for real change.
Make a major independent financial decision. Talk about buying a car, a plot of land, a house, or maybe a Cessna. The reason: You're making him aware that you don't need him to move your life forward. And if he asks you why you didn't consult him first about the decision, jokingly say, "It's not like we're married!" He'll have to respond with a request for clarification of exactly what he is to you, if he's going to have any say in your financial matters. That sounds like the start of The Talk.
On the flip side, some men will pull away just as much if their date strongly insists that they must pay their own share. As callous as this may sound, most of us have egos bigger than Mt. Kilimanjaro, yet are as fragile as a fly. Trying to assert dominance in this situation may make your date run away. Even though you’ve done nothing wrong. Yes, I confess… we can be just as confusing to you, as women are to us.
You may want to actually have a good idea on what you’re talking about before making conclusions about people. One of the things Eric stresses in many of his articles is that a woman needs to be happy with her own life and love herself before she can truly be happy in a relationship. He also points out that if a woman is happy on her own, she will attract love and that it is then up to her to decide if a man is right for her. Kinda sounds like she’s the one in control of her own happiness. How is that sexist? In order to learn, you need to read the entire articles, not just pick out the parts that you can twist into being offensive. However, it’s quite clear that you have some serious anger issues towards men, in which case, how can you possibly expect to be in a happy relationship with one?
Cheyenne Bostock is a Life & Relationship Expert & Author of two best selling self-help books. He is the founder of AskCheyB, LLC, a coaching firm that helps people discover their passion and purpose in life, and cultivate healthier relationships. Cheyenne started his coaching firm while living in a homeless shelter in 2011 and now has a following of more than 100,000 supporters who tune in for daily motivation and inspiration online. His work has been featured on Fox 4, ABC7, Arise TV, Huffington Post and he is a regular featured expert on The Bill Cunningham Show.
On the flip side, some men will pull away just as much if their date strongly insists that they must pay their own share. As callous as this may sound, most of us have egos bigger than Mt. Kilimanjaro, yet are as fragile as a fly. Trying to assert dominance in this situation may make your date run away. Even though you’ve done nothing wrong. Yes, I confess… we can be just as confusing to you, as women are to us.
Hey i just have a question about no contact. My ex and I are in a group chat with all of our friends, on snapchat. If i leave that group chat, I lose access to last minute plans and activities that my friends are doing. Unfortunately, he is also in that group chat. I haven't directly answered any of his snaps, yet he still sees everything I send and I see everything he sends. I'm not willing to let go of access to my friends, since they are the only thing keeping my mind off of him. I have been initiating no contact for around 9 days now, so basically, will it affect the effectiveness of no contact if I still see pictures of his face and what he's doing everyday and vice versa? Should I leave just for the no contact period?
Hi Heather, I see how common is for men to pull away, even if BEFORE going out for getting to know each other a little better, to basically see if we are/not a good match, as in my OWN CASE (read above). If I allowed Adam’s videos to sink in a bit, my own opinion would be that WE GIVE TO MUCH FUSS about these guys! Seriously! At least in my case, I introduced myself,, I teased him a bit and initiate a flirtatious funny SHORT conversation to give him the hint that I am INTERESTED (after I had seen him working for my attention for about 2 months) that he seemed to enjoy it very much and he already pulls away? I respect his own space as of right now, but he doesn’t get anything more from me but respecting his space, UNTIL MORE /IF ANYTHING happens! Going to another date this weekend, actually! while he has his own space, you gotta keep on circulating for your own sake and you would not have wasted your time whatever the outcome turns out to be! Am I right Adam or am I loving myself a little bit too much? :))
My ex started slowly reaching out to me after 3 months no contact. Maybe a message once every couple weeks. I played it cool & did everything I should do. The texts increased in frequency over the course of a month to the point where it was an everyday thing and they were going from casual texts to him implying he missed certain things about us. I did very well keeping my cool and maintaining a flirty fun persona while still having my own life and not eagerly texting back. At this point, I got a random feeling to check to see if he was online dating and when I looked I found that he had just signed up for a dating site. Instinct kicked in and instead of taking the time to assess about what it could mean and respond appropriately, I reacted. I texted him I miss him and lost all control. Ever since than he still initiates contact sometimes but only through Snapchat and it’s very informal or sometimes he won’t answer me and leaves me hanging. He never speaks of any memories or flirts anymore and now I am the one doing it. Everything flipped and I don’t know what to do. I was so close to getting him to hang out and see me. I feel like he’s no longer interested and since he is online dating I feel I have lost my chance. I really regret letting my panick ruin what could have been a reconciliation. It was stupid and careless. Idk what to do from here.
When you spend time apart, share your fun times with your man. It’s important he knows you’re able to have fun without him. After you spend a few nights away from your man, he may be happy you’re having a good time, but he’ll also become jealous. You want him to wish he’s the one helping you have fun. This is a great strategy if you want to reunite with an old flame. Make him see all of the fun he’s missing without you. If he sees how much fun you’re having his going to want to come along on your next adventure. This is also a good time to start updating your social media feed so he can see all the fun you’re having. Guys are definitely more visual creatures so give him something good to look it and he’ll be hooked, which brings us to our next step.
You have given the best advice that I have ever read from any article or book out there and trust I have read MANY. I see where I have been going wrong with my relationships and I see that I am putting too much of what I want them to be for me in it. I see where my negative thoughts have failed me and how I can go about changing me to be a better me for a relationship. Your views are so on point and I completely understand exactly where you are coming from. I will continue to read and reread your advice until I get myself where I need to be physically and emotionally. I definitely dont live in the moment with the man I have been with and I have gotten the I dont want a relationship thing from him but I definitely see where I went wrong because this man was interested in me from the beginning and he is still here. So I see where I went wrong. I see where I need to change just from reading your articles. I am seeing clearly. Now just to adjust my behavior and actions. I believe I will see a change in him. You cant expect people to change if you dont change yourself first… Thanks for all the great advice :)
There could be a variety of reasons for her hot and cold behavior, and its hard to speculate what it might be. I would suggest continuing to text her but try to liven up the conversation topics whenever possible, and back away whenever she becomes cold so as to not end up overthinking and confronting her about it. Give her some room to ease back into this a step at a time, and try not to build up your expectations right now or get emotional if she doesn't respond the way you want her to.
That's a really rough story… I'm sorry. In future, just because you 'get' that a man wants space doesn't mean you have to accept his behavior. Some men will do all kinds of ridiculous flip-flopping if their women will allow it. However, while nobody would agree with this guy's actions, the concept of 'excusable' doesn't really exist in the universe. A woman just broke my heart last weekend, in a way that to me is absolutely ridiculous and closed minded. But for some of the same reasons I was crazy about her, I'm not totally surprised how it played out. I get how bad it feels, but acceptance is the only way out.
Of course, giving him space is really just the first step… but when it comes down to it there are 2 big problems every woman experiences in her relationships with men – so pay attention because what you do next is vitally important. The first problem you’re probably going through: if you’re already interested in a man and you feel he might be losing interest, going cold, or pulling away then you need to read this right now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Regardless of who makes more, it’s important to value each other’s contributions to the relationship. This includes agreeing on how bills will be shared, how saving responsibilities will be allocated, and so on. In instances where there’s a significant difference in earnings between your income and that of your partner, it’s essential to ensure that they identify a purpose to their support e.g., he or she might accept responsibility for funding college savings, or family vacations.
“A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to understand the male intimacy cycle. Men instinctively feel this urge to pull away. It is not a decision or choice. It just happens. It is a natural cycle. As men experience this instinctive urge to fulfill their need for independence or autonomy, they pull away much like a rubber band that is stretched to its limit. Like the rubber band, a man has nowhere else to go but back. When he has done so, like the rubber band, he will return with a lot of power and spring. If a woman expects her partner to be close and intimate all of the time, the rubber band will turn limp and flaccid. His power and strength, like the rubber band, is gone. Simply put, if a woman quietly accepts her partner’s instinctive urge to pull away, she will be rewarded by his eventual return.” ~ John Gray
When you miss someone, it is hard not to reach out to that person. You want to be in daily communication, sometimes hourly. But if you want a man to really miss you, you must pull away. Do not call him or text him. If you continually reach out, he will never have anyone to miss. You must give this special person a reason to miss you. When you do stop contacting him, Mr. Right will wonder just why it is you’ve suddenly gone silent on him. Rule one is to cut off contact. This is a super hard task for us girls because we like to be in constant communication with the people we care about. Guys are so much better at not reaching out because they’re not that great at communicating but for us girls this isn’t the case. However, if you want to make him miss you you’ll have to master this art!
Avoid “hang out,” “go eat,” “Can I have your number?” – they are ambiguous and its not clear if it’s “just friends.” Instead “I’d like to take you out,” “Want to go on a date?”, “Can I call you?” These are all much better. Be clear and direct. I know, it’s taking a risk. She’s already not going out with you though . . . so whats the worst that could happen?
Hi, I’m Summer. My boyfriend and I recently broke up about 5 days who. It was pretty mutual. We both haven’t felt as happy as we used to lately, which I regret ever feeling that way. I just wanted to work things out, but he supposed a breakup was better for us. Now that we’re not together nothing feels right and I feel like I’ve lost my other half. We bith agreeed to remain friends but obviously it’s not the same. I’m currently starting with no contact which is super difficult since I ran into him yesterday. We asked how each other were and as I walked away he opened his arms to hug me. I was surprised. I would just like some advice as to rekindle our romantic relationship and be with him, for good.
So I have done no contact for almost two weeks as my ex was all over my phone, texting and calling me and because we have a child together I give in as he did suggest he want to see his son then I went to his house and everything was so hot and sweet then he start ignore me again and all disrespecting me. I wonder what could have cause that. I was the one who ended our relationship because he wasn't showing me love and he was dies pectin me and going parties on a regular basis and no couple times with us but all I wanted was for him to start act right. We weren't living together for 4years
Eventually he told me he can not stand it anymore and although he loves me he cant be with me. So we didnt talk for 2 days, and then he wrote me that Im the love if his life and he wont give up on this. But I decided to take a step back cuz it hurt me. So I told him we need to do the talk and decide what we are gonna do. After 2 weeks we finally did it and had a big fight. Then we decided to try again. So we met again and it just led to nowhere. We went in circles, could not even find a place to go to do the talk because of my stubbornness and his lack of understanding...
My man is going through a withdrawal period now, and I won’t lie, it’s tough. But anyway the fact is that when he withdraws, as a woman you feel like he doesn’t care anymore, he’s pulling a slow fade, he’s toying with me. This may be true, especially if he’s generally uncaring, treata you like crap, i.e. if there was never that connection between the two of you. However if the man has never given you a reason to not trust him, then maybe you must acknowledge that yours fears are just fears – not based on any factual evidence.
Get some new clothes. New times call for new duds. It's a subtle change in you, but the importance will be clear to her: your new outer shell will signal deeper changes underneath. Get that new shirt that you've been wanting to buy, or those new pair of jeans. Looking sharp is an important aspect of physical attraction, and if she sees you looking great in unfamiliar clothes, she'll sense that there's been forward movement, if not wholesale change.
Claudia is the creator of Text Weapon, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She is passionate about modern communication and loves helping people improve their relationships through creative texting. To read more by Claudia, visit Text Weapon. Don’t forget to sign up for the FREE Texting Club trial with over 300 messages. You can also hit her up on Twitter.
I guess I get in to the honeymoon stage later, for me it takes time me and he seemed to be in it in the beginning and I was holding back because I was unsure. Yes, I did feel emotional distance from him during the last month but he kept following up and making plans and we continued to spend our weekends together that were so much fun. But missing the big elephant in the room, which was discussing what we are. I should also mention we are in our 30's so I am just surprised that if he finally met someone that he connects with that he would just leave to abruptly just because I brought up deleting the dating app. I just thought there was a real connection between us and if he would just open up more I could see a future with him.
One night in 2013, she asked if she could stay over, and I more or less spilled my guts to her and admitted my intense feelings. She said she didn’t reciprocate. It would take about nine months of hardcore wooing before Mary finally said she had feelings for me. In 2016, three years after that night and almost ten years after our first date, I asked her to marry me and she said yes.
The relationship is going really well in the beginning. You are seeing each other often and enjoy one another. You begin to prioritize him over other things going on in your life, like hobbies or nights out with friends. You tell yourself you are comfortable and don’t need to be “out there.” Everything is just the way you like it until… for some reason, you feel him pulling away.
There may be many unresolved feelings he hasn't dealt with since officially breaking up as he continued to distract himself, first with you and subsequently with the new girl. That new person has probably helped him detach himself from the lingering feelings of you since he has someone new to focus on, but if it's genuinely a rebound, it won't be long before he begins to think about you again, especially if since the breakup, you've been spending time focusing on self-improvement and making changes to your life.
You guys fell in love for a reason, and while there are multiple reasons for your love, one of the biggest factors will be your personality. Show him what he’s missing by having fun and being yourself. We don’t mean go out and have fun without him, it’s more about making him realize why he loved you in the first place. By showing him the different sides to your personality you will allow him to come to his senses and tell you how much he misses you and can’t wait to see you.
I was being sad in the past few days and would like him to re-visit the ground rules of the break for both of us to make the most out of it instead of treating it as an essential breakup. So I texted him 12msgs within 3days. Finally he replied:” it’s not OK to keep texting me. Stop texting me.” I asked him back:” when will me talk again? I would like to re-visit the ground rules of the break.” He replied:” stop texting me.” I haven’t texted him ever since. It’s hard to hold on. I don’t mind waiting for him until 10/27 when he is done with his exam. The thing is we haven’t set up to be meeting up and talk about it. I checked on line last night. The exam seems hard and only has 15% passing rate. He was stressed out at study/work when he was me.
We didn’t get there. He decided he needed to go stay at his mom’s for a couple nights to clear his head. He would be back on Friday and everything would be ok. So I said, “great, if that is what you need, then do it.” Clearly two nights was not enough because I could tell that nothing had changed and he didn’t miss me. I was still determined to enjoy our first weekend off together. Maybe it would remind him of the good times we have had together.

Wallah awesome advices I’ve been with my guy more than a year now even f we r in different culture he always telling me it doesn’t matter and when I answered ur quizzes it just like a test paper also been told by my guy for me ur ryt it’s about inner self must know not just bcz d eyes want to see…and I’m satisfied and happy with my friends guy bcz he is God fearing and teach me lot more of faith values which really was a different from my culture..ALLAH bless U Eric may U continue help people who r in need of advices regarding love and the likes….
Hey! I’m 19& I may have a crush on this guy who approached me in WhatsApp! I was distant at first cuz that’s what I’m like with strangers ,especially guys, who tries to talk to me even when I make it clear that I don’t want to have a conversation with them. But now its been two months and turns out he is not some stranger, he is in same college as me and we have two out of four classes together.
When you’re missing a person, it can be easy to fall into a self-deprecating trap of giving in whenever the person you are missing gets in touch. Guys know this. They know that you’re missing them and they know that you’d do anything and everything you could to see them. This makes you an easy target. It makes you the girl they call, when they’ve failed to score elsewhere and you really, really, really, need to stop being that girl.
If you feel confident at this point that you want things to be serious, go ahead and tell him, Trespicio says. "Explain what kind of relationship you want and why, defining what commitment means for you without giving an ultimatum." If he isn't open to a discussion, let him mull it over for a couple weeks. But if he still doesn't respond when you bring it up again, it may be time to rethink the relationship. "You have to decide which you want more: a guy who's committed or this guy, even if he won't ever be," Trespicio says.
To be clear, I was in no way making him chase me. I was warm and responsive. I was letting him lead and extremely responsive to that. If he wrote me, I wrote him, if he said love you, I said love you too. If he called, I called him back. If he did something for me, I would call and thank him. As to having time… I was responsive to his calls (clear about when I had plans, but would schedule a specific time), had time for 2-3 hour calls when he was out of town, and made time while I was on the other side of the world. I had also been very clear I was super excited to see him, even freeing up a possible 10 days for us to spend time and get to know each other.
Great article . Men deal with emotions differently , they also truly want to be in charge and for this they need to withdraw in order to think . For women its an opportunity to cool down and figure what they truly need from their men . And when he comes back be busy , be sweet ,understanding . Men dont change their mind that easily , the live they have for their women dont fade . Keep calm

So you’ve just met a great guy who you feel like you have a great connection with. He’s attractive, smart and fits into your definition of “tall, dark and handsome.” You’ve probably been speaking with him for a while, but you’ve noticed something quite strange about him—the time it takes for him to respond to your messages and return your calls doubles with every interaction.
Hi! Last month, my boyfriend of 2 years moved out of state to finish his last year of school. We agreed to make an LDR work. It was hard, but we had so many trips planned to visit each other and were madly in love - a year apart didn’t seem that bad. He began struggling with depression. Last week he broke up with me, asking for space to get the help he needs. He told me that he was 100% sure he’d be back for me when he was ready, and made multiple remarks about me being his future wife. I felt at peace - we had a kind and mutual breakup, and there was hope for a future. Four days later he has found a brand new girl and is proudly flaunting her on social media. I kindly confronted him about it, and he ignored me. I then blocked him on social media (not wanting to see them happy), and now he is angry. Why would he promise a future with me, if he has her? Why is he angry at me for blocking him? What do I do? I miss him, and it kills me to see him so happy with her.
In addition to the pulling away he is very cruel when he drinks. Calling me horrible names and tries to make me feel beneath him. I know this is huge red flags but love makes us do crazy things. We’re both sexually open minded but he tells me I’m a liar about talking about having another woman intimately. I feel him and I aren’t ready for this. At least I’m not ready. It’s a unhealthy dysfunctional relationship and while he has his faults I know I push him to the limits. (Blowing up how phone etc)
Hello I could really use some advice. I did 2 months of no contact after my ex and after that I apologized for the way I acted before. That was about a month ago and we have pretty much been talking for hours almost every day. Now however, she has been going hot and cold on me and I have no idea why. We have been seeing each other a lot lately and she always seems really happy to see me, but lately she hasn't been responding to my texts (I have only tried twice but now I just want to avoid seeming desperate)I don't know what to do now. Sometimes she seems happy around me but others I can tell she is blatantly ignoring me and I'm all confused. What can I do? Thanks in advance.
That's a really rough story… I'm sorry. In future, just because you 'get' that a man wants space doesn't mean you have to accept his behavior. Some men will do all kinds of ridiculous flip-flopping if their women will allow it. However, while nobody would agree with this guy's actions, the concept of 'excusable' doesn't really exist in the universe. A woman just broke my heart last weekend, in a way that to me is absolutely ridiculous and closed minded. But for some of the same reasons I was crazy about her, I'm not totally surprised how it played out. I get how bad it feels, but acceptance is the only way out.
When I was younger I always used to real men in and then cast them back out. So when I was with them I was fun, talked about them more than me and didn’t ever nag them but as soon as the day/night ended I wouldn’t call or text (or even really think about them) til they got back in touch. Men love women like that. Since having kids and now being single again it’s not quite so easy due to lack of spare time and me worrying that each person isn’t going to be good enough for the rest of my life, but after reading this I need to get back on track with my old ways. When I was in a relationship I was exactly the same and would never expect them to do boring things like shopping or visiting my mums house for dinner and I wouldn’t gatecrash their family events. I’d encourage them to go and see friends but they end up wanting to be with you more then .

One of the dating tips for women we hear a lot is not to let a man know you like him, or to play hard to get. Well, that’s just wrong. Sure, a little mystery may be sexy in the beginning, but the game gets old fast. Even research shows that playing too much hard-to-get makes others like you less. At a certain point, you just have to let the man know you’re interested.
Make sure you give the one you are with the proper time, attention, and affection. Don’t make her question why you aren’t texting back as quickly as you used to or why every date night has turned into “Netflix and Chill”. Don’t be lazy and don’t take her love for granted. If you stop making the effort, she will be tempted to leave your dumb @$$ when she finds someone who will.
"Throw us a bone. We all know that men often think they know more about something than they really may. It's in our chemical makeup. Sometimes you just have to let us set the tent up wrong when camping or take three hours to change your oilfor a lot of us, it's how we both try to impress you and show you we care. Sometimes you've got to let a guy be a guyeven if we're goofing up." Blake S.
I was reading your article and I just had to write to you and ask for your guidance. I have been seeing a married man for almost two years. Everything was great and it seemed as we were going to be together then I am not sure what happened about 2-3 months ago that he just started to pull away and makes the excuse that he’s doing what he’s doing to protect us. Not sure what that means…. Confused, and heart broken
Never say never, sometimes a little space is all you need. However, always go back into a past relationship with open eyes - ignoring previous problems in the hope that everything will be wonderful this time around is just asking for trouble. If you're about to reignite an old flame it’s a good idea to take some time to evaluate what went wrong the first time around. For most cases the phrase ‘flogging a dead horse’ comes to mind - however there's always an exception to the rule and new research shows that more and more couples are making it work with an ex.
I have been in love with the same guy for about three years,in the beginning he told me he did not want anything serious …so I did distance my self for a little while, however now we spend all are time together…going to the gym, going to his friends place cooking together …he keeps contact with me through out the day…it seems very much like a relationship with out a title…
Okay so I'm a week into no contact and I've been ignoring his messages (he messaged me for the first 3 days and now has stopped) but loads of other articles and advice have told me that ignoring texts could make it worse and that I should reply casually but never reach out to them first. But on here im being told that I can't reply whatsoever. Help I really don't wanna mess this up

One of the dating tips for women we hear a lot is not to let a man know you like him, or to play hard to get. Well, that’s just wrong. Sure, a little mystery may be sexy in the beginning, but the game gets old fast. Even research shows that playing too much hard-to-get makes others like you less. At a certain point, you just have to let the man know you’re interested.

Where the problem lies in attracting their ideal mate is not having a clear vision of the kind of person that they are attracted to and not settling for anyone that doesn’t fit the description of the woman of their dreams. My suggestion is that you should have the kind of woman you’re looking for very clearly written down in every detail: personality traits, physical attributes as well as religious beliefs if that’s important to you. From there you have a physical manifestation of your ideal mate. She’s no longer just an idea or a desire in your heart. You’ll find that she’ll literally show up in your life.

Try answering these questions: Do you miss your ex, or do you miss having a boyfriend or girlfriend? Did he or she make you feel better about yourself, more secure in the world, and happier? Do you imagine yourself with this person in the long-term, even when the excitement of being in love has worn off and you are stuck in the daily routines of life? If you are only missing the security of having someone and the excitement of a dramatic relationship, you can find those things with someone else in a healthier, more stable relationship.
I hope that women or men in the world don’t apply this article to their relationship. If someone distances themselves from you then they just don’t want to put effort into it. Therefore, it’s best to get away from that person as soon as possible. There are many others that will show 10 times the effort. Don’t fall into this social construction that, if your partner distances themselves, just act like everything is okay and force yourself to be happy with them.
Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging. However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative.
Been with my boyfriend for 6 years we have 2 beautiful Little boys together And about 2 weeks ago He started to get distant with me and I kept trying to plan stuff to do with him and you kept blowing me off And 5 days ago he broke it off with me But wants me to still live with him And sleep with him But we’re not together I don’t know what to think or how to feel All I know is that I don’t wanna be with anybody else but him I can’t get you another man in my life at all I don’t want you I’m 36 he’s 38 Our kids are 2 and 4 Is there anything I can do to get him to love me or be in love with me again He says he’ll always love me He’s not in love with me anymore
When a man pulls away, try not to take it personally. Believe me, I know this is way easier said than done. Everything is going great, you start to think this guy could be the one and then boom, he disappears for what seems to be no apparent reason. If you can relate to this, it probably isn’t your fault. Although it’s impossible to give an exact reason why he pulled away, most of the time it’s his own personal issue’s. If it’s really bugging you, there’s an amazing guide by Slade Shaw. He shows you why men lose interest… Read more »

He was my bestfriend for a while and then we found out that we actually love each other so we dated for a few months and then he told me that we should go back to being bestfriends to protect what we have because we can never be together or get married due to our religious beliefs.. when we started doing that he was already talking to another girl who follows the same religion as him and i got jealous and got into many fights with him about that .. that lasted for about 2 months and then he got sick from my craziness and told me that we should be just regular friends not even bestfriends and we shouldn’t text everyday or call each other unless there is something important.. that was about a month ago .. i begged him to become bestfriends again i talked alot and tried everything i could do but it was no use .. yesterday i talked to him about it again and he told me that being just friends is his final decision ans he won’t change his mind and i should act that way and just let it flow .. i hate the fact that he’s in control and that it was his decision to be just regular friends. Moreover, he and that other girl became really close I’m not sure if they are dating or not but i know that they talk and hang out alot .. we go to the same college so i see them together alot .. whenever he sees me he acts normal as regular friends .. what should i do to go back into being bestfriends again ? What should i do to win him back after he said that he already moved on? I’m not sure if the other girl is a rebound or everything between them is real also.
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