The problem with making yourself too "available" when he's playing hot and pretending not to notice when he's playing cold is, you've made it clear you're going to be sticking around no matter what. Unfortunately, this means he feels confident continuing this behavior because he knows there won't be any consequences. You will be there when he wants, and he can ignore you when he doesn't.


Sometimes, there may not be anything you would've done to screw the process up, but she simply isn't ready to talk to you regardless and may even think you have ulterior motives, resulting in her defensive and withdrawing behaviors. Typically when this happens, it means that it is still too soon to be contacting her and you may want to give her more time.
A couple days later he’s still acting distant and he’s being short with me over text and I’ve tried asking him to come over but he’d say he has to clean his house or that he can’t then after goes to hang out with his friends knowing I asked him earlier if he could come over. And usually he would come hang out with me since we haven’t been hanging out instead of going out with his friends. I just feel after that that this is a sign that I need to let him have his space even though we haven’t hanged out in almost a week, I really hope this works because one of my girl friends said that he’s obsessed with me and that he said that I’m the ONE. He’s even thought of wedding ideas I mean c’mon he sounds like he’s head over heals for me right? and I just don’t see him going from loving me so much to distancing himself from me and not even wanting to see each other it seems. Maybe it was something I said to him over text to make him upset? I just don’t know but I will do anything to go back to the status of what our relationship was once before this all happened.
My boyfriend and I were together for 3 1/2 years. I ended things with him because I needed space, and i and thought I had feelings for someone else. After about 1 1/2 months I told him that I wanted to try and work things out, but he was talking to someone new. This was a couple months ago, and they’re actually dating now. I blocked him on everything and we stopped talking, but then he came into my work 3 weeks ago to see how I was. We talked briefly, and then he left. For the past 2 weeks we’ve been talking everyday, and he comes into my work to get food a couple times a week. About a week ago I told him that it was too hard to be his friend right now, and he said that he really wants me in his life and he would like me to try to still be his friend. He tells me that he still loves me, and maybe one day things will work out, but right now he just can’t handle being with me because i broke his heart. I actually do enjoy being his friend, and still having him in my life. But I feel like if I stay his friend while he has a gf, he’ll never actually want to try and work things out again. I also don’t want to be his second choice, if things don’t work out with him and his gf. I don’t know if I should stop being his friend or if I should just continue with how things are going.
Hi, I have been talking with a man that is older then me. He is very private and he needed space so I gave it to him. Out of respect cause I once was in his shoes. And found myself again when i had my own time. We haven’t had sex in the months we been together. Just talking and enjoying one another company. There are times he asks me to stay with him more now days and I do. Still no Sex, alot of kissing and holding. Then we both stop one another before it goes further. Why? Idk but we respect one another more. But I have noticed we have recently stopped talking like we use to. The convos shorten. Our conversations are about our days, and some sexting or just straight talk n tease about being romantic. We just have fun. I do know he dont to hurt me, n he is afraid of his own actions. He’s the touchy feely type with women. And it surprises him I don’t get mad or jealous. He tells me he ain’t use to the way I act towards stuff like that. I’ve asked him if he’s trying to push me away he says no then he says maybe… I don’t feel he is cheating, I just think we are both scared to take the next step. Cause we both hurt and was hurt in our last relationships. Getting confused need some advice.
#1 Be fun and easy going. Guys are much less complicated than women, that much is for certain. They like things to be easy going and relaxed. Which means they don’t really want to commit to someone who’s going to add stress to their life. So be easy going and keep things light and fun. He’ll be much more willing to commit. [Read: 10 ways to prove that you’re girlfriend material]

This means be honest with yourself: Is there anything in your life right now that could interfere with the success of a new relationship? A common scenario that I see in my practice is a couple will have a whirlwind romance: feel amazing connection, fall in love…but then the guy starts to pull away or blows hot and cold (he’s interested one week and distant the next). And this might go on for some time before the guy finally admits that he’s not ready for a relationship. This is heartbreaking for both of you because it’s really painful to break up after you’ve become deeply bonded.

My ex and I of 4 years had only ever dated each other, neither of us ever dated anyone before we met eachother. I was always satisfied with this and I love her very much, I never saw the need to try new people because I was very happy with her. But 3 years into our relationship she told me she was scared of never experiencing anyone else, and at 4 years, she found herself attracted to one of her guy friends. She decided it would be best for us to break up so she and I could try new people, I believe this decision was also influenced by this friend of hers who is now her new boyfriend. Should I try to get her back or just let things play out as they will (the whole "if it's meant to be than it's meant to be" mentality)? Maybe this is best for the two of us, but at the same I love her a lot and planned on staying with her forever. I don't know if I should try to get her back, or just go out and experience new people and let the cards fall where they will with her and I.
Regardless of whether you decide to move on or attempt to win him back, you should still be spending time working on yourself first and foremost. Contacting him again or moving on would be something you decide to do after that, and you'll have to be mentally prepared that he may not see you the same way as 'best friends' again after the transition from being friends to having a romantic involvement to not working out.
We’ve broken up once before about four months ago, it was different. But I guess I’ll admit overall the same thing. Except it was for TWO DAYS. and even within those two days we still talked slightly. I can’t tell you exactly what it was about. But long story short, I wasn’t being the more positive. I wasn’t treating him the way he should have been treated. I wasn’t treating him badly, but I wasn’t fully aware of everything he was doing for me. I was negative. Always complaining about my home life, friends, job, blahnlah. But very soon I realized how I was acting wasn’t going to get me or him anywhere for awhile. Then we talked. We were happy. We were together. He had planned to be with me the whole time. Just wanted me to realize some things. Boom. Happy.
Finding an incredible guy and sticking around with him is wished by every woman. And her wish seems to get fulfilled once she starts imagining of marrying her dream guy. But that’s not how things go afterwards. The guy simply gets horrified due to his fear of commitment phobia. So, read here to find out some top signals which notify your man has got a fear of commitment.

Each woman has her own control panel of hot buttons (issues that upset her). There’s no need to court unnecessary conflict. Most issues are avoidable. All you have to do is listen, and observe. No, we’re not crazy. There’s a reason for our behavior. We’re always telling you what we want and need. Your job is to hear what we’re saying and help us to achieve the loving harmony we seek with you.
After only a 2 month relationship, is it possible to get him back? or is it just a fling? I totally get what you mean about 30 days to miss you and such, but 30 days of no contact seems like a lot considering it would be half the time we were together. He is definitely moved on, he was back on Tinder the day after we broke up. He's been polite and kind in the few times I've reached out since, but I can tell he definitely has no interest anymore. I just can't shake the feeling that no contact won't work in this situation. He has no reason to dislike me or anything, but Im sure he just sees me as someone who he wasn't ultimately compatible with. I'm not sure time apart would change that.
Lauren, I believe your advice about giving the ex space is on point and I wish I had given mine a lot of space. I broke up with a man who suddenly dumped me with a phone message when he knew I was not home. Friends of ours told me to give him space, and I did not; big mistake on my part. He is with a woman he and his parents know, she is old enough to be his mother. He sometimes chats when he sees me in the area. I began to feel like I'm sitting on the back burner and decided to just greet him and not chat unless he wants to chat. A good male friend told me to give him six months, it has been three months, so I'll see what develops....

If you can’t get along with his friends, the chances of him making you his girlfriend are slim. To most guys, getting approval from their buddies is very important, and they want to make sure the people who are closest to them approve of their new romance. If his friends think you’re annoying and rude, it may make your guy back off and run from you for good.
I feel like a guy is into me if he calls or texts something immediately after the first date. If we say goodbye and I don’t hear anything then I figure he had liked me but he didn’t like me that much! I almost always have good dates but one of us doesn’t feel a spark. So when we both agree to a second date, I feel more excited if the guy texts or calls me the next day. Nothing major just something to show me he’s thinking of me. I never ask a guy to be exclusive with me. I keep dating until he asks to be exclusive and I try to hold back from seeing him everyday until he starts showing me I matter. For me, I like a “good morning” text or a call on the drive to work. It feels warmer and connected, especially it we aren’t going to see each other that day or the next. Otherwise it constantly feels like we are starting over and the engine is cold 🙂 Ex: I just ended it with a guy I was really attracted to, he had a great job, told me I was beautiful a few times, was affectionate in public, made the effort to plan dates but then the day after the date ….nothing. Then a call the following day”Hi, just checking in”. I was so turned off I didn’t want to call back. I called and his phone dimeanor was so matter of fact. So we had a long conversation and at the end he asked if I wanted to see him again but he didn’t commit to a day! The next day -zip, nada, no call or text. Then he called again “Hi, just checking in”…What am I ? His boss? So I texted “Do you want to see me circle “yes” or ” no ” and please let me know a few days you are free before I commit to some weekend plans. He sends a cute graphic and circles “yes” but doesnt answer the question of days he is available then I don’t hear from him for another day. He calls late evening and leaves another lame message. So I figure that the reason he is “hot” and affectionate when we are together but then cold and dismissive when we are not together is that he “is not that into me” and probably juggling other women. So I text “that I dont feel a warm connection, so we should not continue” If I am wrong (which I doubt) he just needed to text or call me with the same enthusiasm and warmth he had in person. If he did, I would be excited to see him and continue.
The only way to have a good relationship is if you demand a good relationship from him. If you don’t and give him everything he wants in an attempt to get him back, you’re sabotaging the relationship and destroying your chances with him. Not to mention, completely undervaluing yourself, which will deeply impact your self-esteem. Now I don’t mean you say, “Give me a good relationship or else!” It’s not an actual demand. You “demand” it by being a woman of value, by being a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to walk away if she’s not getting it. You don’t have to say anything at all, it just comes across.
Over-thinking the situation will manifest itself into clingy and needy behavior that your guy will sense, and it will definitely turn him off on being in a relationship with you. So try to keep your thoughts to yourself. Don’t be so quick to share every little story with everyone, and remain cool, calm and collected. He’ll probably be so impressed with how laid back you are, that he won’t be able to stop himself from asking you to be his girlfriend.

Why is it that when a girl and a guy break up, the girl spends weeks missing him, but he seems to move on within a millisecond? It isn’t fair. It isn’t right. Why should he get to walk away and instantly start to rebuild his life, when you’re stuck at home wishing that he’d call? He shouldn’t. You need to do something about it. You need to make him miss you, just as much as you’re missing him, but how can you do that? How can you make a guy miss you, when it was him who broke up with you in the first place?

The day we broke up, we went out fishing with two friends and it was really cool, and we went to see some of his friends play handball ( which is a very important part of his liife, but i have never played, so don’t really care, but I wanted to make the effort for him and to be with him). I was doing so good until he decided to go play ball with his friends during half time, leaving me alone on my chair, while I had come to be with him. There were two people I had talked to before close by ( which was his excuse to leave me) but they were talking the foreign language and imagine how hard it is to engage in the conversation when you don’t know what it,s about and you need to switch language… So i got mad at him and told him it wasn’t cool to leave me on my own.
Reason #5. Maybe you read on the internet that you just need some time apart. The negative emotions need to die down. Your ex is angry, and once he stops being angry, he will realize what a mistake he has made. In the meantime you can improve and become a much better version of yourself. Right? Wrong. No 30, 60 or 90 days of no contact or space can heal a broken relationship. Granted, it can make anger dissipate and make people nostalgic. But it cannot fix deep problems in relationships. Most likely the two of you are simply incompatible right now. It will take a lot of experience interacting with other people before you can possibly embark on a new and healthier relationship with your ex. But when that time comes, you may not want your ex-partner back anymore.
I believe a week or maximum of two weeks in the first 6 months or so of getting to know each other is okay – for him to retreat into his man cave. If he’s going for longer than that after the first 6 months of the relationship or continuing to pull away altogether, you’re wasting your time on him. He’s not ready to settle down or simply just not into you, period. Walk away, girlfriend.
Typically, men love to see their woman as a prize that they need to work for. They see the woman that they choose to be with as an accomplishment and as someone that took work to earn. It might sound a little silly but it’s true. Men love to know a woman has a mind of her own, is confident, and isn’t easy to get. So, men pull away when women get too clingy. Do not start canceling all your plans to be available to him every day all day.

So many women come to me and say “Apollonia, he was so into me in the beginning.” This could be a sign of a man getting the thrill from the chase and simply getting bored easily. This type of man I call “the snake”. This man will call you daily, text you hourly, and talk about how beautiful you are and how happy he is to have met you. He might even go that extra mile and mention that he’s looking for a relationship. But the difference with this relationship is that he is all in, right away, and it seems to good to be true. What I mean by “all in” is that it’s hot and heavy early on, and sometimes you feel like you can’t even catch a breath. You might get excited and think oh my, he is so amazing, but let’s examine his actions. In the end, it fizzles out as quickly as it began. As we are talking about why men pull away and what to do, let’s analyze these common things:

Saskia Nelson is the talent behind the award-winning and internationally acclaimed Saturday Night’s Alright, the UK’s coolest dating photography business, specializing in creating dating photos that kick ass and win dates for 100s of single people. She is also the co-founder of Irresistible Dating. She has been credited by Time magazine for kick-starting the genre of dating photography and is recognized as the leading industry expert in the UK & US on all things dating-photo related.
Important Note: While I do believe – and have seen proof – that the advice and programs I provide can help you improve your love life , please understand that not everyone will experience the exact same results. To get the best results, you must use the advice I give you. Every person is an individual and every situation is unique so no single piece of advice will work for everyone at every time. But I can tell you that if you read the advice and continually apply it in your life, your chances of success increase dramatically. And I’m here to help you every step of the way. Let’s get started!
Oddly enough, many of my clients were successful in re-establishing contact with their ex boyfriends by simply not even trying.  They didn’t do anything except move forward with their lives, focusing on bettering themselves personally and professionally.  In a way, it is a form of what I call Passive No Contact or Passive Radio Silence.  It works for some people.  They figure that if their boyfriend dropped them, then so be it and instead of becoming dependent and addicted to their ex boyfriend, they choose to embrace other things in their life, doing those things they want to do and accomplish. Then as they focus on those things and have success, often times their ex boyfriends show up realizing they made a huge mistake letting their girlfriend go.
If I could give one big piece of advice it would be when a man pulls away, try not to take it personally. Believe me, I know this is way easier said than done. Everything is going great, you start to think this guy could be the one and then boom, he disappears for what seems to be no apparent reason. If you can relate to this, it probably isn’t your fault. Although it’s impossible to give an exact reason why he pulled away, most of the time it’s his own personal issue’s. If it’s really bugging you, there’s an… Read more »
My ex ended this 1st April (nearly a month ago). I begged. After day 1 he wanted to talk. After a week he never wanted to see me again. I did NC for 4 days until my sister told him to message me (I got sexually assaulted and needed emotional support). He messaged me. He seemed off. We spoke every day. Well I went one day (a couple of times) not replying. I found out I was pregnant. I told him. He was good about it. He told me to get rid of it. I got scared. Basically I messaged him saying I can’t. We argued about me needing him and he said he doesn’t know what to do. Yesterday I said I’m bored of feeling hated. I need my friend back. He said he doesn’t hate me. I went on about feeling hated and being scared of the abortion. I asked if he could see me. He YELLED at me. I ignored him (which is what he wanted me to do all month he even said I went crazy) but 10 minutes later he messaged me back calmer and with this solution: He said I could see him (in Germany) if I get the abortion and it’ll be the last time we ever see each other and we can have a proper goodbye. I went on saying I want to see him before. It ended up him saying he did hate me. I killed the guy I dated (because I said I missed what he used to be like). I messaged him yesterday and he said I can go and see him after the abortion. I asked if he still had access to my Facebook account he said no. I said I hope he is well. Also he told someone that he couldn’t stand me earlier today. Should I initiate NC properly now? Is there any hope? Why would he start off saying he didn’t hate me and now does? Why would he double message after I ignored him when he yelled? I’m so confused please help me.
"While there are two sides to every story, there are often a few factors that are highlighted within a breakup," says sexologist Megan Stubbs. "What makes this time different than the time before? And how will you communicate that to your partner in a way that might make them open to a second chance?" Try to be as neutral as possible in your recollections. Seeing your part in a breakup can help you figure out whether it's a good idea to give things a second shot.
It is normal for you men to want to spend time with their friends to talk about the football and other interests and it is good for him to have an outlet… as should you. Stopping him seeing his friends is never a wise move to make. You man will feel incredibly proud if his friends say how “cool” you are. You can become the “cool” girlfriend by not stopping him from seeing his friends, showing genuine interest in his friends interests and life’s, and having a laugh with them.
It’s finally happening: you met a man you’re compatible with, you really like him, and the feeling is mutual. He’s showering you with attention, making plans to see you, making time to call you, and generally letting you know that he’s so happy to have found you. How does a man act when he’s falling in love? Just like this—and you’ve never been happier, or more thankful, to have him by your side.
Anyways, we went on a date. Which snowballed into many dates and nights spent together. I was falling in love hard and fast. It seemed so mutual, until my birthday. I suggested we spend it together to which he replied he’d take me out for dinner! (Days beforehand we changed the dinner date to the day *after* my bday & spent my actual bday in bed watching movies.)
Hi, my girlfriend of 3 months finally came over to my home to find out I live with my Mom. She never knew this before. She brought a bottle over, so she clearly wanted to finally have sex with me. We went to a restaurant instead because I told her my Mom is sick and I take care of her. At the restaurant, I was talking to her about log term commitment and marriage possibly. She was recently divorced with kids. I notice she never invites me to functions with her kids. We normally do stuff together with just the 2 of us. She is kind of defiant and rebellious just for the record. So, I get this text 3 days later after she comes over about wanting to break up with me because I want a long term relationship and she wants friends with benefits. I told her I was cool with friends w/ benefits too but she insists on the break up. She has a history of making excuses when she doesn't want to go to an event via text, so I don't know if the marriage questions caused the break up or was it really the mom situation/ her wanting sex. Your thoughts, what should I do to get her back??? How do I know if ever which it was?

Hi so me and my gf of 6 months recently broke up about 3wks ago. We lived close together for the first week of us dating, but then she had to go back hom this summer to do some classes at another college. We stayed super connected and the spark was still there. We FaceTimed and/or texted everyday so we could keep us w/each other. We watched shows and movies together, and we even saw each other physically in between for a little a couple of times. Everything was fantastic and i feel we were on the same page. We were both vulnerable, open and honest with each other. When she came back home to her dorms, I stayed over the night and we did it for the first time. It wasn’t perfect, and I probably wasn’t prepared myself but I was willing to talk the day after since I was comfortable enough with her. After that day she seemed distant and rarely texted me. When I confronted her about it, she finally opened up and said she’s been having connection/emotional issues and she doesn’t know if it’s something that she needs to work on herself for awhile. We met up for coffee a few days later and after we finished talking about some stuff, she brought up just being friends and I stupidly agreed because I figured that’s what she wanted since she had been acting that way. She already had my hoodie and stuff in her bag and gave it to me...which hurt bc she planned that. She still looks at my Snapchat story’s and my instagram daily. I still really like this girl. I know I need to work on being less jumpy and anxious when shit hits the fan. What should I do?
I met a guy whilst on holiday in Egypt. He seemed really lovely and we saw each other every day and eventually went to his flat ad stayed there at night with him so we were spending 24 hours a day together. Hr said he loves me and wants to marry me I didn’t take it too serious but then I found I had called for him. On my last day he gave me his number and Facebook. When I got back to England I looked at his Facebook it was all women tourists which he has commented on their wall my love habibi and sending hearts to them. The two profiles I could see were a year ago these comments were made but I would not have gone there at all of I had of seen this to start with. He also had one for Arab friends. I went to finish it because I am 43 and he is 26 and I can’t be doing with the drama of Facebook. He never added me but said he would delete his facebooks it took him a couple of weeks but he did it. I said messenger as well because of all these women he had contact with. He said he would and he did. We have spoken everyday and night then hr started no messaging me at night his cousin told me he takes women out shopping at night for money so when he wasn’t messaging me he was doing that and he was saying no women. I made a fake profile of a woman who was gorgeous and he added her on messenger before he deleted it.It came to a massive argument he said I was jealous etc and he said he wanted to finish it. I did a terrible thing and emailed his work and told them he was taking women outside the hotel (they aren’t supposed to) and he got fired. When I got a response from the hotel they said this isn’t the first or last time it will happen that’s why he got fired. We still were speaker he was still telling me he loved me and messaging me but he was sad about loosing his job and I feel so guilty I just got sick of the lies (if they are lies) I was to meet his family and then we were planning to get married. I forgave him for all that because I know I can be jealous. I don’t know if it because I wouldn’t act like this when I have a boyfriend. Anyway a week ago he sent me a message saying I will need forgive you for loosing my job no work etc. Although I had sent money equilvilent to his monthly salary that he lost and said I would do it every month till he gets a job because his family rely on HIM for money. We had a n arguement he blocked me off wats app downloaded messenger again. I downloaded viber a day later and said I loved him he said he loved me and missed me and hr wasnt going to delete messenger although he says he wants this to speak to his family he has gone to see his family so I wander is he speaking to the women he had on Facebook? He hadn’t initially told his mom about me sending and email to his work bit has now told her she says I am bad and he isn’t to marry me he said loves me still I said I will leave him till he has got rid off messenger. He said OK I love you and that was three days ago. I read this article and feel better but I do miss him but do wander is it worth all the bother with this silly apps x

This article shows you all the best ways to make him miss you, now in any relationship I’ve found there are 2 pivotal moments that determine if your relationship ends in heartbreak or you get to live happily ever after so it’s vitally important that you take the next step and read this right now, because at some point the man you want is going to ask himself: Is this the woman I should commit to for the long term? That answer determines everything… Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…
My boyfriend moved out 2 days ago and told me he was gioinh to break up with me, er takker a lot and devisen not to break up but he needed space. So noe he is at his mother’s house. I did the wrong thing by getting panicky, calling him and texting him.. he told me that i had to stop in order for him to relax and Get HIS space. I found this so hard and i’ve been crying non-stop for 2 and a half day. I got drunk the other night and cried in the phone to him. I don’t know how to get thru this and i feel like dying.. today i tried to give him a bit more space. He sounds so cold in the txt like we don’t know eachother. And my heart is literally breaking and my eyes are so swollen that it hurts. Anyone else expirenced something like this but still got together? He won’t even sau how long he needs space. And it frels more like he’s trying to forget the relationship.
#4 He is attracted to someone else. If nothing happened and he is suddenly pulling away, then it may be that he is attracted to someone else. If he is thinking about being with another woman, he may be trying to find a way out of the relationship. If you notice that his habits are changing, he is no longer interested in sex, or if he becomes more secretive and rarely spends time with you, then he may have found someone else.
It is easy to let go off certain aspects of yourself when you meet someone whom you consider to be the man of your dreams, but you shouldn’t. If you are trying to be someone you are not, you tend to become transparent to your partner. If you prefer reading a book at home instead of going to the football match, then you should not pretend to love Germany just because your guy is a football fan.
Get some new clothes. New times call for new duds. It's a subtle change in you, but the importance will be clear to her: your new outer shell will signal deeper changes underneath. Get that new shirt that you've been wanting to buy, or those new pair of jeans. Looking sharp is an important aspect of physical attraction, and if she sees you looking great in unfamiliar clothes, she'll sense that there's been forward movement, if not wholesale change.
Considering the total length you've been together, you're going to need to give her quite a bit of distance to let her do whatever she feels she needs to do at this point, especially if you were her first love and she may potentially be going through a mid-life crisis. Under these circumstances, the greater you push, the more she'll resent you because if she feels this strongly about wanting her independence, she'll feel just as strongly against anyone who interferes with it.

He broke up with me a week ago over the phone. We were together for 7 months and had a deep connection. I have not contacted him since. Yesterday I received a text from him explaining why he did it and apology. Pretty much he is not over his divorce, has health issues, dealing with work problems, trying to work on a relationship with his kids and now is not a good time and not fair to me to continue the relationship. Should I respond or keep no contact for 30 days? Or should I acknowledge the text and respond?

Hello, me and my ex boyfriend recently broke up about a month ago. Currently I am trying the no contact rule, but it's impossible for me not to see him due to the fact we attend the same workplace. Also we share the same close friends, so sometimes when out with friends he's there and at parties, but we never speak at all during them. A few days after the break up, I wrote him a letter appolising and asking if we could be friends (I think this was a bad idea to do this and I got no reply or anything from him). Also I wrote in the letter that I was okay with his decision to break up, but I wasn't. In a few weeks I want to try and contact him and speak as friends. I would prefer to do this via text as he ignores every call, and as soon as he sees me in person he gets as far away as possible. I just don't know want to say to him after this no contact period, or how to get him to want to talk to me. Could you please help me or give me any advice at all. I would really really appreciate it and be really grateful. I would be so so thankful if anyone could help at all. My email is c779912@gmail.com...
"While there are two sides to every story, there are often a few factors that are highlighted within a breakup," says sexologist Megan Stubbs. "What makes this time different than the time before? And how will you communicate that to your partner in a way that might make them open to a second chance?" Try to be as neutral as possible in your recollections. Seeing your part in a breakup can help you figure out whether it's a good idea to give things a second shot.
I have been seeing a guy for almost 3 months. From the start he said he wasn’t interested in a “full on serious relationship” and at that stage I wasn’t either. He then told me 5 weeks ago that he had feelings for me but wasn’t ready to commit to them yet. I was intoxicated and my reaction was “okay we should stop sleeping together/talking etc.” Up until this point it had been really perfect and he always replies asap, initiates to hang out etc. After this conversation he came back really strong without even a day in between where there was no contact and kept initiating plans e.g., going away together and paying for it. We didn’t sleep together for 2 weeks but as he lives with 4 of my best friends, we fell back into a sleeping together arrangement again and things pretty much went back to where they stopped. I had a conversation with him this week because I really wanted to know where I stand. He pretty much said that he didn’t want “rules” i.e., you can’t sleep with someone else, however for this time we would only sleep with each other and if we did sleep with someone else then we would have to tell each other and it would change what we have. I was happy with this. When it came to kissing other people, he said that because I wasn’t his girlfriend, I wouldn’t need to tell him if I kissed someone else because it would hurt him but if i were his girlfriend, he would want to know. I pretty much said I disagree and coming from a place of security that it would be nice to know that he wasn’t out kissing other girls. He doesn’t’ go out much either which he used to try and reassure me. I told him that due to the living situation and fear of getting hurt I may want to remove myself from the situation.
Don’t worry about him enjoying the free time with his friends. Of course, giving him space to enjoy is going to make you look confident and less clingy. He may seem to enjoy it, but eventually, your boyfriend will crave more time with you. So, the next time he tries to come up with excuses to hang out with his friends, let him go. If he wants to go on a boys’ trip, allow him. The more time he is away from you, the more he will realize what he’s missing. He might think his friends are important and deserves his time but he will soon learn that he can’t spend his lifetime with only them, he needs you.
1. Learn to be a good listener. Men and women approach problem solving in very different ways. Men usually put on their “fix it hat” almost immediately and head right for the solution. Women don’t want advice — at least not right away. Being able to talk about whatever happened is therapeutic for them. When a man jumps right into how to fix the problem, a woman feels like she is not being heard. That quickly leads to hurt feelings and often anger. Just listening to what she has to say will go a long way toward actually fixing it.
If a man is honest and tells you he does not want a relationship, then as a woman you should honor his truth in telling you this and take a moment to reflect and understand that you may need to pull away. Not to mention, if he also gives you the popular one-liner by saying, “I’m just seeing where things go,” proceed with caution. This is not a committed answer, so why would he want to commit to you? This is just an answer to lure you away from the truth in hopes to keep you around for what he is in search of pleasure and attention.

Broke up with girlfriend after over 2 years together. We had some issues and had been to relate but finished counselling positively. Change of job had me move towns. She followed me 2 months later when she also had new job. My job fell apart and I had to quit just as she relocated. I then got work elsewhere on temporary basis but it went on for 9 weeks. We barely saw each other saw each other. I felt pulled work wise away from her and I allowed it to happen. We split. I was in denial for a month or so. When realisation hit I was heartbroken. I’ve tried emailing to say I want to get back together but she’s said she’s not in love with me and we have no future and that she wants space to heal.. I love her so much. I’ve written a heartfelt apology for hurting her but she won’t respond. I just don’t know what to do. I think she’s built up her barriers and is determined to put me in a box and ignore me. What do I do? I’m so very sad, really love her and can see all the ways we could have a really good relationship but if are doesn’t….

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