Hi Chris – My boyfriend (well now ex boyfriend) of 2 years just broke up with me a week ago. He is 33, I am 25. We met on the mountain, ski coaching to be exact. He does it full time (Tuesdays – Sundays) while I only do it part time along with my full time job (November – April, 7 days a week). A co-worker of ours set us up. We had been coaching with each other for a couple of years by that point and she could just see that we were perfect for each other. I was a little hesitant at first, I had never dated someone who what that much older than me. But when I was with him, it never seemed weird or like we were at a different point in our lives. The first year was bliss, we were not living with each other at that point so we were constantly looking forward to seeing each other. There was excitement.
Marriage is a tricky one. After years of being together it can seem monotonous and boring. People settle into a routine and then start to resent eachother after a while. A marriage takes work, from both parties. The trouble is trying to get that other person to want to want to work at it. No mean feat. If you are a woman it is all about understanding the male mind and why they do not want to open up and talk. You have to use the male lingo to get any headway here.
The only way to have a good relationship is if you demand a good relationship from him. If you don’t and give him everything he wants in an attempt to get him back, you’re sabotaging the relationship and destroying your chances with him. Not to mention, completely undervaluing yourself, which will deeply impact your self-esteem. Now I don’t mean you say, “Give me a good relationship or else!” It’s not an actual demand. You “demand” it by being a woman of value, by being a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to walk away if she’s not getting it. You don’t have to say anything at all, it just comes across.

"Throw us a bone. We all know that men often think they know more about something than they really may. It's in our chemical makeup. Sometimes you just have to let us set the tent up wrong when camping or take three hours to change your oilfor a lot of us, it's how we both try to impress you and show you we care. Sometimes you've got to let a guy be a guyeven if we're goofing up." Blake S.
In 2016 I moved to live with him and his parent’s house in another state. In February- he said he needed space, I left and we didn’t talk for 4 days. Then I stayed with his Aunt for two weeks. Back in March, he told me to come back home because he wanted things to work and was going to change so things worked. (He just stopped making time for me, acting distant, and always seemed annoyed with me) Well, nothing changed. He still acted distant toward me and not very interested in me. He does operate 3 businesses and is always busy but something changed. It was never a problem before. After a few weeks back home, things were decent. Then the week of April 10th he started acting weird again. I confronted him and he agreed that nothing changed. I asked him “well did you make an effort to change things?” he said “no” so I told him well things are not going to change unless you want them too. Long story short- he broke up with me. I had to pack my bags and MOVE TO ANOTHER STATE because I had no family around. Mind you after we broke up, he left. He has not contacted me AT ALL. He left the house and I packed my stuff. I even left him a note and has not contacted me. He is posting more than usual on Instagram, he seems fine. I’m over here devastated- I had the rug ripped out from underneath me. I need to start over- career, life in general….everything. His life wasn’t completely flipped upside down. He is the love of my life and I don’t want to lose him. He hasn’t contacted me at all. He has asked mutual friends “how is she?” and even told a mutual friend “I haven’t reached out because I don’t know what to say and I don’t want to start an argument.” I want him to call me and tell me he made a mistake.

It’s normal to feel pressure as you watch your friends get married and have children, but remember that every person’s path is different. “You don’t want to settle down with a guy who’s not right for you. Therefore, release the pressure you place on yourself to lock down your next date as your future husband. Take each date one date at a time and have fun,” says Mills.
We did try to agree to be friends, and I even gave her gas money in exchange for giving me a ride home for the weekend for me to stay with my parents and work. However, over that weekend, I took some time to think and realized that trying to be friends right after a breakup with someone I had a relatively good relationship with until the last month would not be a good idea. That was when I came upon this article and started reading it as well. I realized that, while I do WANT us to be friends, it is probably not the best decision right now because my emotions are still very raw and I am very confused and I still have some strong feelings that I know that I would not be able to suppress or hide so easily around her. I also looked at the breakup from both sides. She, on the one hand, was the one who asked for the breakup. She was the one who initially asked for space. I on the other hand, after I got over the initial hurt, realized that what I was doing wrong was still showing neediness in asking to be friends directly and trying to still hold on to what was. What was between us has already been, and if there is to be a future, it cannot continue. I realized that although she initiated the breakup, I too need some space to work on myself and regain my securities and get in touch with those things that make me happy and confident and... Well, me. I need to learn how to be happy without her and realize that I am my own person and that her love does not define me. It feels great to have someone to love, certainly, but that cannot be the source of my happiness, nor can it be the only positive or "good" thing in my life. But, I feel like I'm getting too carried away in those things that should be common sense.
Believe that you are special and allow your man time to make himself aware of that. That means, you should have your dignity and not run or jump at his every beckon call. Through little actions such as, not answering a text in a matter of nanoseconds, will tell him that you are a busy woman who isn’t only focused on him. Plan time for yourself, and tell him politely that you will have to see him another time. He will start realizing that you have your own thoughts and opinions, as well as your own life, and that will drive him to you even more. Men won't be so attentive if they think that your life revolves around them. Make him get curious and wonder what is happening with you. Dont always spell it out for him.

Thank you Lauren. It's been 3 weeks now and I am pretty okay. Two questions though: 1. I wonder how did the story of the lady who wrote this apology letter, go? Did they get back together, or do you know about anybody else who have used this with success? 2. Do you cover somewhere if it's a good idea to stay friends with your ex? Thanks in advance.


First, you have to know what you need in your relationship. It may seem “weak” or “unmanly” to admit that you have needs, but everyone has them. Common needs include admiration, respect, feeling desired, sex, physical affection, time alone or together, etc. After you identify them, let your partner know why these are important to you. Be specific about what getting your needs met would look like. If you need time alone, is that a couple nights a week or time on the weekend? When you ask for what you need, you give your partner the opportunity to respond lovingly, and that will boost your relationship satisfaction.
Sometimes the man you’re missing is yours, and you want to stay in his mind. There are many things you can do to ensure he’ll think of you. Have you ever cleaned your room and found an old movie stub or small item and had memories rush back? It’s amazing what a tiny item can do. Make a point of leaving a small memento behind in your man’s car or house. When he sees that earring or hair clip, you’ll come to mind, and he’ll want to see you that much more. DO NOT leave behind a toothbrush or other items that are of an intimate nature because this will surely cause him to panic. Think cute when it comes leaving a little piece of you at his place and he won’t be able to take his mind off of you.
Back to my original point, something happened in the past two days that shocked me and left me feeling confused and going back to square one of No Contact and coping with the breakup. She texted me yesterday to ask how I was doing. As I was preoccupied by focusing on my happiness and playing pool with a friend, I was ignoring my phone. An hour of playing pool goes by, and I turn to see her standing near where we used to hang out. I continue to play pool and talk to the friend I'm playing with, and I make some comments about movies I haven't seen, and I try to look confident despite what I'm feeling inside. I then pluck up the courage to actually talk to her. She says that she came by to say hello as it had been a while, and I point out that it had literally been only a weekend and a day (from Thursday, so it had literally been 4-5 days since we'd seen one another or talked.)I told her that I didn't expect to see her, and then broke it to her that I think we need more space from each other. She said that she didn't know that that was how I felt because she hadn't heard from me, but I told her that because she asked for a breakup, I was giving her what she asked for by not trying to text or call her about it, especially because the breakup was what she wanted. I told her that part of me focusing on me was me realizing that this was going to hurt me and realizing that I do not need to be engaging in something that will cause me pain. She again said "Okay, I understand if that is what you want." I told her that it isn't what I want, but what we both need, especially since she asked for the breakup. After, she made a comment about me being with this friend of mine that seemed a little like jealousy, which caused me to snap and say something that wasn't true about how I had brushed this friend off for a while because of her discomfort towards him (which was only partly true.) Anyway, I saw her today in a commons area as she sat in my direct line of vision and kept looking over at me. I went over to apologize and establish that I still wanted distance, but.. The notion that she was sitting in what seemed a deliberate spot to see me made me feel quite uncomfortable and a little scared. When I went up to her, she looked as if she had cried recently. She looked very unhappy. However, I know to be strong and not get lured back into this just because she is showing me that SHE is miserable. If insecurity will cause someone to breakup with someone, it will also cause someone to rethink getting back together and honestly push them further away, right? If she is trying to get me to move on from her, unfortunately she's taking a route that will make it easy for me to do so. It is clear to me from her actions that she is very unsure of what she wants. One minute, she says that she wants a breakup and space, but it seems as though she has done a 180 now that I have asked to go through with more time and space and told her that I need it as well. It's as if she wants me in her life, but is confused as to how and is now showing a disrespect of my wants in favor of her own, which is in turn confusing, hurting, and scaring me. After such a relatively good relationship, this period of direct After Relationship is starting to feel very scary and worrisome and almost toxic.
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Last message I told him that I’ll let him having time there to get things done after he told me that he’s not struggling with everything. (he has lots of extra expenses for this move too) He said he has anxiety about kids moving away (where we are now and new location is about 13 hours fly) but anyway he will prepare everything for them to move smoothly.
You might want to consider personal coaching with me if you require a specific game plan on winning him back, otherwise, go through no contact as read and apply positive changes to your life while getting yourself to an emotional state where you're okay with whatever happens. The only way you win him back is by making those changes in your life and figuring out what went wrong in the relationship that made him feel that he couldn't be himself and the reason he might have lost the spark for you which further reinforced his decision. Also, no more pleading and begging for him back.

When a girl feels disconnected from her boyfriend due to his lack of emotional availability/overdone ‘badboyness’, she’ll think he isn’t interested in her enough for him to be a reliable partner. She’ll feel like she can’t really ‘get close’ to him, which is something she needs in a relationship because closeness shows her that he won’t just up and leave at some point. Girls do dump guys for this.
So if your relationship with your ex stayed the same after 6 months or after a year (in other words if it failed to evolve and grow) then it would have violated her desire for progression. It would have made her realize that you are not the guy who’s going to give her a long-term partnership and finally a family. She would then have seen you as a poor suitor, dumped you and gone off to find a guy who shows more signs of commitment.

To illustrate this, researchers asked sleep deprived students to remember a list of words. They were getting a high score on all the negative words (81%) but when it came to the positive ones or neutral ones, they were only getting about 31% of these right. Dr.Robert Stickgold has conducted similar experiments on sleep and memory.[5] Now you know why people are always in a bad mood when they do not get enough sleep.
Great article . Men deal with emotions differently , they also truly want to be in charge and for this they need to withdraw in order to think . For women its an opportunity to cool down and figure what they truly need from their men . And when he comes back be busy , be sweet ,understanding . Men dont change their mind that easily , the live they have for their women dont fade . Keep calm
I stayed up late last night to read your words. I was searching for some consolation to a negative thought in my head, and I found it. And here you are again today. You nailed it. Only through extreme heartache, researching yourself, and learning the lessons can you truly appreciate your eloquently written words. You are so highly skilled. What a gift. You found your calling. Ox

The new girl backed off after a while, and I will admit after my ex got evolved things changed a little bit because I wasn't sure what she would do. I was kinda always looking over my shoulder as well as old WAR wounds came back. The thing is me and the new girl loved each other a lot and was on the same page, even talked about moving in together after only being together for a month. It seemed so effortless.
You can’t just dive back into the relationship and expect everything to be different this time around. You broke up for a reason, probably several reasons, and those reasons will still be there unless properly dealt with. You can’t do the same thing and expect different results, that’s just insane (literally, I think that’s the actual definition of insanity).
Most people think small because they’re afraid of success, afraid of making decisions, afraid of winning. Deciding you want to have the best relationship of your life gives you an advantage over people just playing around with casual dating or waiting for “fate” to plop someone in their lap. Women love a man who knows what he wants and goes after it.
Hi Eric,i really need ur advice thrs a guy whom i love i ve alrdy askd him out we’ve meet twice bt iam very serious about him..he said he does not want to b in a relationship..as he just had a break up wth smbdy…bt he also sayss that he will never let me go things would be the same as wen ur in relationship just it wont be official..but niwdays i feel he gets irritated while speakn online…i want him to be mine forevr…wat should i do to get him commit nd love me….
Guys are well known for wanting sex. Some of us long for that kind of physical intimacy. You’ve met the perfect guy, yet you’re trying your best to show him how much of a lady you are. Truth be told, any dating rules you follow which suggest you wait for specific amount of dates will do more harm than good for your dating life. You should have sex whenever you feel comfortable having sex.
Did you know that you can have a direct effect on his testosterone levels? By making him feel respected, admired and manly, his testosterone levels will rise… as will his sex-drive. By making him feel weak and small, his testosterone levels will decrease along with his sex-drive. You want to become the fuel for his testosterone by making him feel loved, respected and needed.
Hello! So my ex boyfriend broke up with me officially 16 days ago. We're both 27, by the way. 10 days prior he told me that he needed time alone and that he was not in a good place. I was supposed to meet him that day (we live in different cities, but only one hour apart), and I asked if I could still come, or if he never wanted to see me again. He said that he never said that, but he would prefer not to see me for at least a few days. I texted him two days later saying that I understand and he should take his time and he responded with thank you xx. I did not reach out for 10 days and then I texted him asking him to tell me what was on his mind. He replied instantly and said that it's not my fault and that he feels he can not be in a relationship right now. I asked for an explanation and to tell me what was going on in his life, he said he didn't want to talk in detail, it was about the way he felt in general, work, the kid (he has an 8 year old son) and that I never did anything wrong. He apologised and I said take care. I never texted him, we met on tinder and had been dating for 5 months. I met his entire family, his close friends and he met mine. My birthday was two weeks before the break and he brought me a heart necklace with diamonds on it (it took him a while to find a present he liked), I know he has feelings for me, he said so himself, but I am so confused. A part of me says he will be back, another one feels he will not, I just don't know. Should I add his best friend's girlfriend on Facebook? She did tell me her Facebook, but then this happened and I did nothing. I know his friends and family like me. We were good together but the last time he was a bit distant.

Have you ever dated a man where everything is going perfectly and you are bonding on every level, spending all your time together, and even making plans for the future, and then poof, he’s gone?!  Well believe it or not, this is a more common scenario that you might think.  Men feel pressure just like women do, and when it comes to relationships many men take flight, before they fight.  Take a look at these 8 reasons why he might be pulling away from you — to perhaps see if you can stop it.
Hey Kelly, pretty much the same here.. I was in a relationship for almost 2 years, I moved in with him after a few months because everything was going great and he wanted to spend more time together. I was aware he was OCD, and he was aware that I was not a neat person. I live in clutter. My parents live in the country so we didn’t have anyplace to dispose of unwanted items/clothes or garbage. (We burn our garbage) anyway that’s how my life was, and it became a habit to be cluttery. I had More things than I needed, I never got rid of anything old. And I have issues with my own family where nobody talks to anybody. I was extremely close to my parents because we never had anybody else. Anyway, I told my boyfriend before I moved in that I was messy and made him promise not to ever give up on me, to be patient and to motivate me because I’m not self motivated unless it comes to work. At home I’m lazy and relax, I am not active. Lately he’s been dealing with a lot of stress, massive amounts of overtime for the past couple months and his parents left to live in a state 5 states away from us down south. Communication with them has become harder because of Hurricanes & their busy schedules. So as a result he became depressed. Our only friend and neighbor we hungout with slowly became depressed too, and she stopped hanging out with us. Our world got smaller, just me & him. And he stopped doing ANYTHING pretty much. He was sleeping a lot and I can’t recall before our breakup any time we spent together (aside from going to a wedding & to get a friend of his who stayed for a week.) AND WE LIVED IN THE SAME HOUSE. I feel his depression was a result of his own actions, he stopped doing things he use to. And me not having a job made me cling to every second we spent together. Just everything came crashing down on us. I feel we didn’t fail each other like he thinks, because we are both different. But rather I feel we just were going through a rough patch that happens with couples. The honeymoon wore off. We had to put effort in now because things were depressing and not easy. And he thought it was underlining issues so he no longer wanted to work things out. I hope you two fixed things. How are you?
Women often pull away because there is something wrong within their relationship, whereas men will pull away just because they need to constantly adjust to the direction they are heading. Because women pull away when there is a problem, they automatically think the same must be said for men, when it is likely just the male’s need for a little space.
my ex and I had been together for 3 years(last year of highschool to third year of college-different cities).I broke things of two months ago because we would get intimate rarely the last two month,and when I asked him why,he replyed that we both gained weight and he can't see me as sexually as he used to, but he still didn't want to break up and wanted to work things out,but I was too emotional to think about it then. For the next month after the breakup he still said he wanted me. We saw each other about two weeks ago, and he started being a bit weird... he said he still loves me but doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone, but we can still have sex, or that he is sure that if we took our clothes right then and there we would have sex,or asking me how would i feel if he told me togive him a hug... I told him I still love him and I am not iterested in him being just someone I talk to and occationally have sex with,and if sex was what I wanted,I can find it anywhere I want. Then he started being friendly for a bit,then giving me the cold shoulder the next day. I looked sad and a bit clingy,but didn't beg or acted needy. I recently learned from common a friend that he told her "if she doesn't want me once,I don't want her a hundred times" when she asked how are things between us. To this day we still keep in touch and are on very friendly terms (we used to be very good friends for years before we became lovers) and he usually reaches out,although I'm trying to take some disdance and don't always reply him. I still want after all these things to be with him,and it's not that I just miss him,or the idea of being in a relationship. I miss him for who he is. I really can't understand if it is just a phase or he really doesn't want me. I am willing to try work things out (but not changing my body or myself just to fit his standards as I would never demand that of him) if I see interest from his part,but his behaviour confuses me. what should I do? He is also coming back to our hometown for three days,and asked me to go out for drinks at a place we both used to work and I said ok... I am not sure if it was the right thing to do,or if he will friendzone me if I go out with him for drinks on friendly terms... I don't know what to do...
One of the dating tips for women we hear a lot is not to let a man know you like him, or to play hard to get. Well, that’s just wrong. Sure, a little mystery may be sexy in the beginning, but the game gets old fast. Even research shows that playing too much hard-to-get makes others like you less. At a certain point, you just have to let the man know you’re interested.
On Monday, I brought up the other girls name and it ended up in a big argument. I have major trust issues now after what has happened but he doesn't understand! The same girl is working with him AGAIN. He has since called it off with me and has started messaging her again. He says I have pushed him too far this time and I am stressing him out with mentioning things that have happened. That I ruin everything and there is no going back.
This is when I felt like I really met Mary. I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t jealous, and I wasn’t distracted—I had a clear mind, and I loved her. She was the kind of girl I’d always call back, and always take out for dates, and always hold hands with. She’s the kind of girl I never want to be away from. I’d seen what life looked like without Mary (cue damp Jimmy Stewart shouting “Mahhhhrrrrrryyyyy, don’t you remember me Mary?” in It’s a Wonderful Life), and I had a new appreciation for her. I loved the person she had turned into: She had built a life for herself in New York and was the person I know she always wanted to be—she grew her bangs out, too, which I guess is a big thing for women?
I spent 6 years with my ex. We were young when we got together and we weren’t good at resolving conflict. But I truly believe we loved each other and that he is the right person for me. We both had a habit of ‘pulling away’. Push, pull, if it wasn’t him, it was me. By the end of it, it was dramatic. It was traumatic for me and him too because we didn’t know how to work it out. Since then we’ve both tried seeing other people. But somehow after 9 months we ended up back spending time together. Getting to know each other again. We started to get close… I never pressured him to be with me but I do love him. I’ve tried to be a lot more understanding of his space. Even his friends have said – ‘this is the best you guys have ever been’… But then shortly after he told me his friend had commented on our ‘changed friendship’ and how close we were getting, he attacked me saying I was getting too comfortable. I was so confused because he had been asking me to stay over and he said he was enjoying his time hanging out. That’s what we established it was. We’ve never put a label on anything and have been free to live our separate lives because of what we have been through there was no use rushing anything even a friendship. I was happy with that and I thought he was too.
During the no contact period you’ll need to communicate high Dating Market Value to your ex…without actually directly communicating with her. Put another way, you’ll need to send signals out that make it clear to her that you’re a high DMV man – without making direct contact with her as you do that. This gives you the best of both worlds, you get the benefits of No Contact but you also get the benefits of boosting your DMV in her mind.
Eventually, we had a massive fight that lasted hours over the phone and he broke up with me, saying that he was too scared and hurt to keep trying as he felt we would always have the same problems, over and over again. It hurt so bad, and I begged during the entire fight but left him alone immediately after the break-up, saying that I was sorry and that I would miss him and his family. He told me that despite us both loving each other, we couldn't continue and that I would never get another chance.
Here’s my problem, I was begging, pleading, and trying to look pity for my ex-girlfriend just to make her stay. We had sex then goodbye. Then i saw your videos about No Contact Rules. Following your advice about no contact rules was hard as hell. My target is FULL 30 DAYS no contact but in my two weeks of battle. Suddenly she texted me, i try to ignore her, then she call me using other number so we talked since its likely rude to ignore her at all. She told me she wasn’t happy in her new bf. She felt sorry for me. She’s asking me if there was any chance to rebuild our relationship?Is she still welcome to my life? I told her i am awesome now, i currently dating to someone else the she get madly jealous. She doesn’t want me to date others.She really want to see me but ill be the one who refuse to see her. I told her i will only see you when you come back to me. She wanted me to stick around but u said to your videos not to get in friendzone.
Your first instinct is probably to talk all night and fall in love with his charming voice all over again, right?  Wrong move.  Besides calling too soon or calling too much, the next mistake a woman makes is to talk too much rather than ending the conversation a little sooner than usual.  In fact, if you really want him to miss you end the conversation first and don’t let it drag on until you get back that intimacy you lost.  He doesn’t deserve that intimacy, not right now.
My ex and I broke up a few days ago because he said with him working and not being able to see me as much that he couldn't show me the respect he wanted but he still has stong feelings for me. We agreed to wait about 3-4 weeks to see how his work schedule is going and if it'll be good for us to get back together. But I'm still confused on what to do in that time.
I think you’re focusing WAY too much on him and what he’s feeling. You’re focusing on the fear you have of losing him rather than focusing on your happiness. You have to ask yourself how you feel about yourself in this relationship as is. Do you feel your confidence, or do you feel insecure? No man is worth being with if you feel insecure. And if you do feel it, you have to change your dynamic and approach so you can get that confidence back. A man LOVES a confident woman, and you’ll feel better about yourself being confident, anyway. The way to get confident and attract him or any other man to you is by focusing on YOURSELF. You need to make sure you’re happy on your own before you can be happy with a man. This doesn’t mean you need to be single to get happy—just have a fulfilling life for yourself outside of a man. Don’t let him be the ONLY valuable thing or person you have in your life. You need to be excited about more in your day than your bf. You have to have other things going for you that make you happy. Once you can sustain happiness without the need of a man, you’ll have your confidence and this will be attractive to other men (and possibly your ex). The key is to not lose the focus on YOU even when you do get into a relationship or the relationship deepens. NEVER lose sight of your happiness. You need to continue having a fulfilling life outside of HIM. Once you start losing that grasp on yourself and get more caught up within the relationship, you’ll start to depend on him for your happiness—and he’ll withdraw again. Even if he withdrew for other reasons, chasing after him as if you can’t live without him will only push him away further. If he is a good man who is emotionally available and TRULY wants you, I promise he will come back. You don’t chase him, you don’t contact him. Let him contact you. Give him the chance to miss you. This can take anywhere from a couple weeks to a year or more. It’s however long it takes him to miss you, IF he truly wants you (took my guy 8 months). In the meantime, you don’t wait on him. You focus on yourself and getting your happiness and confidence. Fill your life with people and hobbies you love. Try new things you haven’t tried before. Change jobs if the one you have makes you miserable. Do what you need to do to give yourself a fulfilling life. Make sure you have your days full of plans so you don’t give yourself the chance to sit and mope about your breakup. That’s not going to help you. You need to show yourself how great life can be, even if he’s not in it. If he never reaches out, then he doesn’t truly want you—and why would you want someone who doesn’t want you as much as you want them? Don’t wait around for him. Focus on you. He will come back if he truly wants you, and you have to continue to focus on yourself even if he does. If he doesn’t come back, you’re going to be fine because you’re nurturing your happiness and confidence. PLEASE don’t lose sight of yourself, ever. It’s your golden ticket to happiness and to a great man who will love and respect you.
After only a 2 month relationship, is it possible to get him back? or is it just a fling? I totally get what you mean about 30 days to miss you and such, but 30 days of no contact seems like a lot considering it would be half the time we were together. He is definitely moved on, he was back on Tinder the day after we broke up. He's been polite and kind in the few times I've reached out since, but I can tell he definitely has no interest anymore. I just can't shake the feeling that no contact won't work in this situation. He has no reason to dislike me or anything, but Im sure he just sees me as someone who he wasn't ultimately compatible with. I'm not sure time apart would change that.
Another year goes by. It was summer and I was having the time of my life. I decided to take a break from dating and focus on myself. Then I ran into him in Central Park on a Saturday afternoon. At last, he was single and I was single, we were both living in NYC, now was the time. But he didn’t contact me after that. So I decided to contact him. I sent him a friendly message on Facebook and opened the door wide for him to ask me out… but he didn’t take my expertly laid out bait.

So true! You can’t coerce someone to be with you. When a guy wants to be with you they just will. That is what happened with my current boyrfriend. We dated before and he didn’t want a commitment. We broke up and dated other people. We started talking again after many months of being apart, became friends for some time and began spending more time together. It naturally came together well and after time we verbally agreed that we were together and just wanted to be with each other. End of story. It’s very simple.


When you feel him start to fade, your response may make the difference between getting him to come back full throttle and watching him dash in the other direction. To know how to respond to a guy’s elusive behavior, it’s important to understand the reasons that guys seemingly ditch out of a relationship without any sign of trouble or forewarning. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]
Women love being surprised. When a man goes out of his way to surprise his partner, he sends a message:  I care about you. You are important to me so I want to think of ways to make you happy.  You are worth the effort.  He gives his significant other a reason to look at him with admiration and he enables her to brag to her girlfriends about how lucky she is to have such an amazing and thoughtful guy (and if she is active on social media, no doubt there will be some accolades there as well!).
So, get this. I’ve been seeing this guy for almost 3 months now, so not long. We have taken things pretty casually, I don’t know his past & haven’t asked. When it comes to ‘feelings’ I can tell he is not safe talking about it. We are completely compatible, and honestly I feel as if he’s my person. When we first started talking, we discussed about meeting the parents in general, and he expressed how he doesn’t bring just anyone home to his family & he wants to be sure they will be around for a while before doing so. So, I let him make the call as to when that would happen, if it would. A few weeks ago, he told me to reserve a specific date open for going home to meet his family. Which was just a week ago. Of course, it was the perfect weekend. Introduced me to his whole family, classmates, and family friends, and stayed an extra day than planned. 3 days later, I sent him a nice text- did not say the L word, but was pretty strong feeling. He replied with not feeling the same as me, and didn’t want to waste my time. I have tried calling him one time to get an explanation and he has not responded. Haven’t bugged him since the phone call. It’s so frustrating where 48 hrs prior to the text I was with him at his parents and seen absolutely no red flags. What should I do? What does this mean? I have never had a guy ‘pull away’ before.
We all know there’s a difference between a woman being “insecure” vs being “aware”. When she’s aware, there’s evidence that confirms her suspicion(s) about your behavior. When she’s insecure, there may be only speculation that stems from her lack of stability or ability in herself. Either way, it’s important to acknowledge the things that make your significant other feel insecure by making conscious decisions that affect the relationship. Below are just a few simple tips that can help your lady feel secure in your relationship:
I met a guy whilst on holiday in Egypt. He seemed really lovely and we saw each other every day and eventually went to his flat ad stayed there at night with him so we were spending 24 hours a day together. Hr said he loves me and wants to marry me I didn’t take it too serious but then I found I had called for him. On my last day he gave me his number and Facebook. When I got back to England I looked at his Facebook it was all women tourists which he has commented on their wall my love habibi and sending hearts to them. The two profiles I could see were a year ago these comments were made but I would not have gone there at all of I had of seen this to start with. He also had one for Arab friends. I went to finish it because I am 43 and he is 26 and I can’t be doing with the drama of Facebook. He never added me but said he would delete his facebooks it took him a couple of weeks but he did it. I said messenger as well because of all these women he had contact with. He said he would and he did. We have spoken everyday and night then hr started no messaging me at night his cousin told me he takes women out shopping at night for money so when he wasn’t messaging me he was doing that and he was saying no women. I made a fake profile of a woman who was gorgeous and he added her on messenger before he deleted it.It came to a massive argument he said I was jealous etc and he said he wanted to finish it. I did a terrible thing and emailed his work and told them he was taking women outside the hotel (they aren’t supposed to) and he got fired. When I got a response from the hotel they said this isn’t the first or last time it will happen that’s why he got fired. We still were speaker he was still telling me he loved me and messaging me but he was sad about loosing his job and I feel so guilty I just got sick of the lies (if they are lies) I was to meet his family and then we were planning to get married. I forgave him for all that because I know I can be jealous. I don’t know if it because I wouldn’t act like this when I have a boyfriend. Anyway a week ago he sent me a message saying I will need forgive you for loosing my job no work etc. Although I had sent money equilvilent to his monthly salary that he lost and said I would do it every month till he gets a job because his family rely on HIM for money. We had a n arguement he blocked me off wats app downloaded messenger again. I downloaded viber a day later and said I loved him he said he loved me and missed me and hr wasnt going to delete messenger although he says he wants this to speak to his family he has gone to see his family so I wander is he speaking to the women he had on Facebook? He hadn’t initially told his mom about me sending and email to his work bit has now told her she says I am bad and he isn’t to marry me he said loves me still I said I will leave him till he has got rid off messenger. He said OK I love you and that was three days ago. I read this article and feel better but I do miss him but do wander is it worth all the bother with this silly apps x
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