Wrong. The truth is, your girlfriend wants to be important to you, but she also needs you to have other activities in your life that don’t include her. Because, if you’ve made your life all about her, it’ll be a case where she sees that she’s 100% won you over. Women get bored of men they’ve won over fully. Why? It makes them think maybe they could do better, and that’s the last thing you want your girlfriend thinking.
before my ex and I started dating we spoke for three years with out meeting one another ,and developed a deep connection , speaking sun rise to sun set , hr long phone calls , after three years we finally met and started dating , we dated for a year . we broke up about 7days ago . We broke up because he said that I was disrespectful and always had a negativity frequency. He blocked me on what'sap . I called him tonight to speak to him about our break up and trying to work on things , he said no and wants to remain broken up because his given me plenty of chances in the past , he loves me but he thinks I'm never going to change . its his birthday in a couple of days , do I send him a birthday text ?? also before putting down th phone I asked him if he could unblock me on whatsap he said no , I can contact him via phone call or text ... I'm more confused them EVER ! what should I do ?
You know something is wrong if you are always crying or feeling bad about what has happened and you can quite get over it.  You also know it can be frustrating when you can seem to figure out what to text or what to say to your ex bf.  Well, the solution is you can join my Private Facebook Support Group and/or pick up your copy of the Texting Bible and get the emotional support and answers your need.
You put your self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back burner just so you could be with your ex. Sometimes, people do it just to hold on to the possibility of being with their ex in the future. It’s a direct consequence of begging and pleading. It makes your ex think “Well, if you are that desperate to be with me, then you must accept everything that I want.”
if you only tell him you miss him, that will not complicate things at all. in a relationship, you gotta be open and transparent. if you love him, tell him. if you miss him, tell him. don’t wait for him to say it first just because you’re too afraid he won’t say it back. you are telling him because you feel that way and not because you want to feel good about yourself.
We human beings have a built in radar.  We pick up on body language and we also use our intuition.  We all have it…men and women.  In this case, these women are simply picking up on his lack of authenticity.  He’s not truly being himself.  He’s approaching these women from an energy of “what can I get away with?”  And these women intuitively know it.  We would typically call a guy like this a “player” however, another way to look at it is that he is not behaving in alignment with who he is inside and, what he is really wanting is an activity partner because it is safe.  He doesn’t want a relationship simply because he is not yet ready to let some of his walls down.

Hi me and my boyfriend of 9 months just broke up. It was an out of the blue break up that left me confused and shocked. Everything seemed good to me we had only gotten into one disagreement the whole time we were together. But our relationship was hard. He worked the graveyard shift so we only got to see each other on the weekend. During the week our schedules were opposite. When I worked he slept and vis versa. So we would try to communicate as much as we could right before the other one would go to work. He met my family enjoyed time with. Literally was hanging out with them the weekend before and out of the blue one night he told me we should break up. That he felt like he couldn’t be the boyfriend I needed and that he felt we hit a Plateau. That he felt that he should be feeling a certain way by now but wasn’t. I.e. his longest relationship was 8 months before me and he’s 36. I miss him and want him back I don’t understand why this happened out of no where.
Pursue your passion. Most of us may struggle to say what our passion in life is. We are too bogged down in our obligations, responsibilities, and routines to carve out any time to give some thought to the things we are passionate about. Your time of no contact is as good a time as any to figure it out. Maybe you’ve always had a love for good art. Maybe you are excited by gardening or writing. Take this time to do those things Also, take this time to try something new. You might just find a passion for something you didn’t know you had before. Engaging in the activities and hobbies that we love, that we are good at, and that we are passionate about go a long way to remind us of our essence and make us feel alive again.
I met this guy on holiday and when we both returned to our prospective countries ( 1-1.5 hrs away by plane) we stayed in contact with each other. Over the last 6 months I’ve used your tips whenever he pulls away emotionally ie not texting back or initiating conversation and it works really well. The problem is He’s constantly wanting to talk dirty or about phone sex etc, which is fine and I like but I just want to see him again or at least know that he has plans to see me again before I oblige. I haven’t said this to him, I just avoid the the phone sex suggestions or make a joke whenever they come up but this really annoys him and causes him to pull away. He doesn’t say it but his actions suggest this. We are in another cycle of him pulling away as a result and i’ve Sent him a couple of messages to reach out but received no reply.... Help, I really like this guy, we have a strong connection and I would like this to go further but he’s now in his cave, only, this time I worry that he won’t be coming out, for me at least, this time
"Be more assertive if you're interested in a guy. Sometimes reading signals from women feels a bit like reading brail if you're not blind. There are a lot of ways a girl can show she's interested without going overboard, like a subtle touch or giving a little extra attention at a party. If a guy knows you're interested there's a big chance he'll become interested too." Josh F

Hi Jordan (I love our name!)…so that is quite a story. Thank you for sharing it with me. You seem like a really special girl, so I have no doubt that whatever happens, you are going to land on your feet! By the way, you are an excellent writer. Consider keeping a journal about what you are feeling and thinking as it will be a good outlet and can be very therapeutic. I do think its worth exploring this relationship further and by implementing NC, it gives you both a chance to experience some healing and find some balance and draw closer to your deepest feelings. If you haven’t already picked up a copy of my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, you should because it is massive and full of ideas, tactics, strategies for how to get through a breakup and come out the other side as well as optimizing your chances. Just go to my website Menu and click on “Products” and you will find all my ebooks and other resources. Let me know things go Jordan!
The third is to be emotionally available enough to listen when she just needs someone to talk to, and to resist the urge to try to fix the problem. If you’re not sure what she needs when she comes to you, ask her! It shows you care enough to want to be there for her, in whatever capacity she needs. Sometimes we just need a hug. (Man that sounds cheesy.)
Sometimes guys will think they have just fallen head over heals for someone else.  But sometimes the truth is that it’s not love, bit just pure sex.  So you may be wondering, how will I ever get my ex back if he is hooking up with some other girl.  Well, we are going to get into all that, but for now, just know that sometimes boyfriends will wander off either because they are lured away or that just have not yet learned that they are risking blowing up the good thing they have going with you.
He broke up with me first: he said that it was because he felt like we didn’t have a future together, that it felt impossible that i learned the language ( which i was doing), that I was asking for too much of his time, that he didn’t feel like he could do all the things he wanted with his friends. but I couldn’t accept it, I wanted to fight for the love we had, so much, I negociated, I asked for more time, I begged, I told him that if he still loved me it would be worth it. after a day of speaking he said ok. A week after I asked him again ( because I was afraid and I had been walking on eggshells all week), he said that he still had that feeling that we wouldn’t be together forever, but he told me he loved me and he really wanted to work for it, to work on it and make it work! ( i was so happy!)
By keeping an air of mystery about you, your man will become obsessed and will want to get to know everything there is to know about you. Let him know how you expect to be treated without giving him a list of rules of course (that could be awkward!). This works both way remember, you want to please him as much as he wants to please you so learn everything there is to know about him.

Many women have quite simple and somewhat boring lives, so she might struggle to relate to you with your travel-filled lifestyle, amazing car or massive house that you told her about (for example). And if she struggles to relate to you because she sees you as WAY better than her, she will go cold and initiate the no contact rule on you. “He’s out of my league.” Then she initiates a breakup.


Gentlemen, if you think your lady is special please let her know. One of the biggest complaints I hear from my fellow women in relationships is that they feel unappreciated.  The best way to let your lady know that you appreciate her is to tell her and show her.  We love hearing that you adore us and appreciate everything we do (and please give some specifics so we know you are noticing everything).
You have given the best advice that I have ever read from any article or book out there and trust I have read MANY. I see where I have been going wrong with my relationships and I see that I am putting too much of what I want them to be for me in it. I see where my negative thoughts have failed me and how I can go about changing me to be a better me for a relationship. Your views are so on point and I completely understand exactly where you are coming from. I will continue to read and reread your advice until I get myself where I need to be physically and emotionally. I definitely dont live in the moment with the man I have been with and I have gotten the I dont want a relationship thing from him but I definitely see where I went wrong because this man was interested in me from the beginning and he is still here. So I see where I went wrong. I see where I need to change just from reading your articles. I am seeing clearly. Now just to adjust my behavior and actions. I believe I will see a change in him. You cant expect people to change if you dont change yourself first… Thanks for all the great advice :)
It is possible to work to reprogram your brain or change certain beliefs. If you are severely lacking confidence in yourself and your ability to prove to your ex and that you can make them happy; try doing one of my favorite self-help exercise; write down in the present tense something on a yellow sticky that you are hoping to accomplish as if you had already achieved your goal.
We all know people who have found love on dating sites. And you might too. But the sheer number of people you have to vet can lead you to settling for the wrong one out of complete exhaustion. It’s also ridiculously easy to be seduced by skin-deep attributes that won’t matter at all long-term. As important as chemistry is, her beautiful smile can also distract you from discovering who she is at heart.

Your chances are definitely going to be there as long as the relationship was a meaningful one. However given his age in particular, there could be a chance that he's also exploring at this stage of life and being with someone older was simply an experience he wanted to try but still felt more comfortable at the end of the day being with someone closer to his age. Continue with no contact and after you're done, you could reach out to him to see where he stands on being friends again. You'll have to do things a step at a time starting as friends, before you're able to rebuild attraction further, so the best advice I can give you is to remain patient and avoid building up unnecessary expectations.
First (and most important), promise not to judge the other. Then, privately write out scenarios that have tantalized you and place them in a box. Next time you're feeling hot and heavy, pull one out. Either jump right into fulfilling that fantasy or, if you need a little more time to adjust, ask what it is about that fantasy that your partner likes, Dr. Kort says. "Sometimes, its themes can be addressed in different scenarios that feel comfortable for both of you," he adds.
We were doing a good job of communicating. Every once in a while we would talk before going to bed about how we were feeling. I could tell that things were not getting better. If anything, they were getting worse. I just kept saying, “look, ski season is almost over. We will have our weekends back. We can spend some quality time with each other and reconnect.” And he would nod his head and agree.
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 11 years and we’ve been engaged but nothing happened. We have a daughter and I feel he does not feel the same about me. We’ve had major issues but always end back together. We having problems now and I said I want a open honest loyal relationship but ye says I’m mad and I spy on him because I want him to invite me on his face book which I haven’t been on ever. I feel if he can’t allow hes full commitment it will never work. He’s friends with everyone we know on fb but me. It hurts and I’m really sad about this because he does not want to be open with me. He the LD me today he won’t give my way until I prove myself. I’m confused and don’t know what to do we live together with our daughter but feels like a nothing and I mean nothing to him…. Cf
It is necessary that you make your presence felt and should not become dormant. You should not at all indulge in verbal or physical abuse. You need to make yourself a little strong and be the voice of reason when the situation is chaotic. Be calm and listen to all that he has  to say and offer all that will help the situation, even if it is simply sympathy that you can offer.
I was in a friends with benifits relationship and after a couple of months i told him i loved him i knew he didnt feel that way for me but i was ok with it . We spent alot of time together alot of sex and got on a rutine i would stay over night one day a week and we did dinner and drinks watch games etc i thought things were great. Then he needed space blew me off for the weekend and now barly talks to me he is 54 and in am 47 at our age we know what we want but i do love him and just dont know what to do i tried to talk to him and he just says he needs space.. do you think he is not coming back? Do you think hes scared ? I dont know what to do
I want to point this out because often times when you are in the process and mindset of getting back with an ex, you can tend to forget that it’s also about you being happy rather than simply being in a relationship with the person that you love. It’s OK for you to be unhappy; it’s OK for you to voice your discontent at times and to set certain expectations for your significant other.
Perform mental health check-ins from time to time:  Does being with him make you happy or do come away from your dates feeling troubled or angry?  Do you feel lifted up when you think of him?  Is he respectful of you, your work and your passions or does he denigrate them?  Most importantly, does he find value in you and what you contribute to his life?  Do you find value in him and what he contributes to yours?
Avoiding contact is not just a passive-aggressive way to make your ex miss you. It gives you time to do the things you need to do to prepare yourself for a new relationship (whether it's with your ex or someone new!). Take time during this month to get to know yourself as an individual and to work on areas that you may have let slip during your relationship with your ex. If you contributed to the breakup, this is the time to pinpoint your relationship weaknesses and do the hard work to improve as a human being.
This is one of the best comments I’ve read here Shirley. While I don’t think these articles are trying to blame us for the reason why men pull away. They do always seem to be like “oh he’ll come around”. Maybe in the land of unicorns and rainbows he will. In reality if the guy has made up his mind that they don’t want to be with you anymore no amount of space will make him change it. My ex ain’t coming back to me after his vanishing act. Was seeing him for a few months. Everything was fine until I didn’t want to have sex on the couch when he wanted me to after that I didn’t hear too much from him. Is he coming back to me? Probably not. Not unless he can’t find anything better. I wasn’t needy in that relationship. I only got pissed off when I hadn’t heard from him in a few weeks which I thought was a bit out of character. Then I tried to find out what was up and got zilch. His silence spoke pretty loudly.
If you wish to win him back, you're going to have to make some positive changes to your life, which takes time. This is why he feels too that both parties should go their own ways aka giving each other space before thinking about reconciliation. I would recommend considering NC for the time being to work on yourself and focus on picking yourself up emotionally.
He was so sweet, romantic, a gentleman, fun, funny. He made my heart flutter. He tried to recreate my pose in the photo of me he had made his desk top photo. (I had made his photo my screen saver on my cell too. lol) He was doing things to keep my comfortable and told me he didn’t come all this way for sex and proved he wanted more. We were like best friends. So compatible.

Answer: If he’s feeling low about himself, then the last thing you want to do is make him feel even worse by being upset all the time. The only thing you can do is to hang on, try to boost his confidence, and encourage him to follow this dreams. Being supportive will help him to feel accomplished and will let him know that you are happy with him and have all that you could need. [Read: 12 common male insecurities that women don’t realize]
My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago we were together 5 months. We would meet each other once/twice a week due to work schedules. He would always keep in touch every day via text or a call. We would be texting numerous times a day and most of the time it would always be him texting me. He seemed to be making no effort to meet up on last 2 weeks it was always me suggesting we meet which we did. When I suggested we both make more of an effort to meet up more regularly. He broke it off saying we both in different places and thats how he feels. Found out 2 days ago he has gone on holiday with a female friend. He tried to keep texting after we broke up as if nothing was wrong so I asked him to stop. I have had no contact with him since I asked him to stop. Going to concentrate on myself for now and refrain from contacting him. Guess what I would like to know is there any hope in getting him back.
The key to succeeding in this very first step is keeping your emotions in check. This is usually easier said than done, especially after a breakup when our emotions are usually running wild! When you miss your ex, it’s easy to let emotions and longing take hold, causing you to reach out to him in an attempt to stay on his mind, or maybe to reignite the spark.
It's always better to be late than never realizing the mistakes made at all. You definitely didn't ruin your chances or made a mistake in texting him about no contact, and as you've said, no contact should ultimately be for your benefit as its meant to pick yourself up from the breakup and become a better version of yourself, which should in turn convince your ex to come back when he sees the changes.
Try making him miss you to help him see how special you are. Flirting with a guy you like by dressing up, using a sweet-smelling perfume, showing him that you've got a big social life, and so on can help him see that you're interested - and interesting. There's no harm in playing a little hard to get, as long as you don't get too consumed by trying to attract his attention.
Why is it that when a girl and a guy break up, the girl spends weeks missing him, but he seems to move on within a millisecond? It isn’t fair. It isn’t right. Why should he get to walk away and instantly start to rebuild his life, when you’re stuck at home wishing that he’d call? He shouldn’t. You need to do something about it. You need to make him miss you, just as much as you’re missing him, but how can you do that? How can you make a guy miss you, when it was him who broke up with you in the first place?
1. Give yourself some time to grieve. I know how hard it is to be happy after a breakup. I remember I was a complete mess for at least two weeks. I didn’t sleep properly, didn’t eat properly, and I was just thinking about my ex all day. In a way, this period is necessary for you. You give yourself some time to grieve every day. If you want to feel sad and sorry for yourself, go ahead and do it. But make sure you also do something to make yourself feel good about yourself.
When you do not get enough sleep, your negativity takes over big time. This was the conclusion researchers came to after several experiments. One of these is particularly interesting. The researchers homed in on the hippocampus which is the part of the brain which processes our positive thoughts. When we are sleep deprived, this function starts to creak and negative thoughts muscle in much more than before.

It’s also giving him the impression that he doesn’t have to put in any work for you.  And, let me fill you in on a little secret: men–well really, people in general — value that which they’ve worked for. Imagine how you would feel if you won an award just because they were pulling names out of a hat versus if you won a trophy for something you worked for. Getting a lottery prize is always nice, but getting a reward for hard work is more satisfying.
Plus, it gives you the time to get past the initial unbearable phase of missing him and into a more even-tempered, secure mentality. Instead of trying to figure out signs your ex still loves you, you’ll be working on yourself and getting yourself into a better mindset. It gives you the space to say, “I don’t need him to be happy – I can be happy all on my own”.
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