Hi there, I have been reading tons of advice you guys offer to permanently get your ex back and recently me and my ex broke up 1 year and 8 months into the relationship. We broke up because she said that I didn't love myself, which I realize this now because I had so many insecurities that caused the energy between us to go downhill with my jealousy, trust issues, and depression. I realize all of mistakes now but the 1st week after our breakup I was super needy and desperate, I would contact her and make up lies to just see what she was doing and just to talk to her. I have recently started the no contact with her hoping that maybe she will miss me when she is wondering what I am up to. She told me that I need to move on and just do things that I wouldn't be able to do in relationship such as flirt with other girls, go to certain type of parties, talk to my friends constantly and to just have fun period. She says she has faith with us but she has no idea when she will feel ready to go back into a relationship with me. She also said I have to move on and let go and come back when I have a chance, "To let the bird fly away and if it's meant to be then the bird will fly back." I am just worried because from the looks of it she has already moved on, went to three parties already, and I know she is talking to this guy. I accept that she is doing all of this because I know she just wants to have fun because I used to be manipulative and controlling. I know all of my mistakes now and during this no contact period I want to work on myself and love myself. I accept the fact that if my ex don't want to get back together that I shouldn't sweat about it because I will find someone else, but she has made such a huge impact in my life that I just simply choose to be with her. She simply made me happy but I didn't make her happy. What could I do to fix all of this and perhaps start a new relationship in the future. I wont see her for 8 months because I will be in the army then after that I will be attending the same college as her. I hope that by the time I come back she will be single and had the fun she wanted to have so I can talk to her about giving us another chance. Thank you for you time.
I’m sure that you’ve heard the saying the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence quite a few times before. It is very very relevant to love and relationships as well. After being with someone for a long time it is easy to be tempted by something new or to get bored! Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you can easily find someone better!

Our third attempt—and, you guessed it, the ensuing breakup—was kind of a glitch in the space-time continuum. It was 2009, and at this point I’d realized Mary was not an easy person to please. I coasted through the relationship, and she called me out where other girls I’d been with brushed off my repeated bad behavior. Our second breakup had reinforced the notion that no relationship comes easy and you have to put in the work, but I still sucked.
Im in the current situation right now… He wants space for me being paranoid for past few weeks.. I really dont know wat to do, he is so busy and stressed from work.. He asked for space, i ask him if he is breaking up with me he said no he just need time and space for the meantime… Need your advice please… I dont want us to be apart i really love him..
Taggedbest way to get ex back no contactcan no contact get your ex backdoes no contact help get your ex backdoes no contact make your ex miss youdoes no contact work to get my ex backdoes the no contact rule workdoes the no contact rule work if you were dumpedget ex girlfriend back no contactget your ex back no contact rulegoing no contacthow long to do no contacthow to get back with exignoring my ex girlfriend get her backleave ex alone to get her backlow contact to get ex backno contact after being dumpedno contact periodno contact ruleno contact rule after a breakupno contact rule after being dumpedno contact rule to get her backno contact rule worksno contact to get my ex backno contact with exno contact with ex girlfriend to get her backwhat goes on in my ex's mind during no contactwhat is the no contact rulewhy the no contact rule workswill no contact work

"Typically, when a relationship ends, there may be pain, sadness, or negative feelings on one side or both," says Dr. Amie Harwick, MFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist in West Hollywood. "When considering getting back with an ex, one must consider if they can work through the differences." And while we can’t directly tell you which are good reasons to get back together with an ex, it's a smart idea to consider why you got together with this person in the first place. Are those the reasons you want them back? Do they outweigh the reasons why you broke up? Then there may be reasons to proceed.

My boyfriend broke up with me over a month ago. He won't answer my calls or texts and blocked me on Facebook. I am trying so hard to stop contacting him via text but it's hard because we talked everyday for six months. I cry and miss him terribly and he won't talk to me. I am trying to hard to do the 30 day no contact rule. my email is girl8eliza@hotmail.com
It could be a rebound relationship he's going through right now, which is also the reason he might have felt it was 'love at first sight'. In the case for marriages, especially long term relationships, NC period might have to be longer because of the time frame of the relationship and the severity of events that probably transpired which led to the breakup/divorce in the first place.
Hi Andrea….its OK, we all make mistakes after a breakup. I don’t know anyone that has not. Are you following the plan I lay out in my ebooks? It is good to have a comprehensive blueprint to help you along. I think the best way to go on is to go forward in focusing your own healing and having a plan. He seems a little testy right now. In the No Contact Rule Book (ebook I wrote), I talk all about how the whole process works and if it is worth staying in it longer or stopping it sooner. Go check it out if you feel you can use a helpful guide!

Immediately, Rocco will be the most interesting individual on the planet. Your man will want to know why he's hanging around you. He'll want to know why you're hanging around him. He'll get jealous — we're all good at that — and soon, he'll demand to meet him. All the while, you should act surprised by your guy's uncharacteristically possessive behavior and, if you like, even a little indignant. But if he feels threatened by another bear in his lair, then he's already aware he has a lot to lose. You're halfway there, and this little trick might get him to defend his turf.


Hi Eric,i really need ur advice thrs a guy whom i love i ve alrdy askd him out we’ve meet twice bt iam very serious about him..he said he does not want to b in a relationship..as he just had a break up wth smbdy…bt he also sayss that he will never let me go things would be the same as wen ur in relationship just it wont be official..but niwdays i feel he gets irritated while speakn online…i want him to be mine forevr…wat should i do to get him commit nd love me….
Hey Ryan, thanks for your answer before, just to let you know I failed to reach the 30 days no contact.. We spoke and we fight again.. This time it was even worst.. I cheated on her on a one time thing (Worst mistake of my life I swear) she knows and I decided to come clean to her, thing is for me lying to her she says it is too late for us to get together again or to trust each other again.. I show her the journal I was writing on her name with everything I'm feeling.. She understood a bit better but the bottom line is that she doesn't want anything to do with me again.. Fact is, I would do whatever it takes for a chance with her, I love her and I was really idiot to to what I did, I owned it and I admitted, Apologized to her 100x times, yet I completely understand where she is coming from and why she doesn't want anything to do with me..

This doesn’t mean doing exactly what she says or not putting your own point of view across, but hearing where she is coming from and responding in a way that she feels acknowledged and respected. And this must be reciprocated of course. This is the best place for solutions and compromises to be reached instead of built up tension and potential arguments.
Here is the thing. You want to focus on you not only because this is healthy which is the main reason and you’re putting yourself first but by putting yourself first he will want you more. There is a deep desire for people to be with someone that puts themselves first. I would not only follow his lead. Make sure you are not too available in the process and really schedule time for you. Then take control back a little bit so you can eventually see where this is headed.
In order to make a man commit, you need to him to realize that he needs you just as much as you need him in your life. Obviously you can’t just come right out and say “you need me” and try and push this into his head. He needs to realize it for himself… with a little helping hand. The best way to do this is to simply tell him that you love him regularly.
Hi, I had been dating a guy for 2.5 years, he’s a Muslim and I’m a Christian,during this time he was completely in love with me and he has done a lottttt of things to keep me happy and to show how much he loves me... because he was never like this and I could feel it and even his family and friends had told me that he has never been soooo serious before for any girl and I myself felt his love for me then... and I had amazing connections with his family and even most of his relatives side knew me.. though we used to fight a lot we always managed to get back and love each other more.. but the few days before the breakup we had been fighting and that is when he went to his cousins place far from where we live .. he stayed at his ex’s place who is his cousin and he had dated her for 2 years before me ... and he suddenly started getting feelings for her and they were so strong that he went and told her mom that he wants to get married to her and even kissed her and stuff ... but then after he came back from there he has ditched her a million times already by kissing me and getting physical with me and even after that girl knew this she accepted him like twice .. and when there were problems in their relationship ( now it’s almost 2 months since we broke up and since he’s got into a relation with her ) he used to come to me asking if I will or will not give him another chance and that he loves me .. this has happened twice and both the times I used to agree and then we used to get physical ...I have come out of my country that means we don’t meet and he doesn’t even talk ( I have broken 4 rules which are mentioned above because I hadn’t read the article before) so now my ex says he doesn’t want me at all and he doesn’t love me...and again their marriage is fixed like they say they’ll get married after 5 years once he has achieved something in life ..both of us are 20 and his present girlfriend is 18...in this situation where families are involved and where he claims to love her soooo much will is till be able to get him back? Please help ... is it still possible ?

Build some intrigue into your schedule that keeps him wanting more. Wait a few minutes to text back, or if he asks if you're free Tuesday, say that you have other plans but you'd love to meet up on Wednesday. This helps him to realize that your time is valuable and that he'll have to go out of his way to see you. Just remember, no one likes playing games. "Don't move dates around too much—that can get frustrating for a guy who also has a busy schedule like you," Trespicio says.
Think about the last argument that you had with your partner and use it to look for hidden messages in all that both you and your partner were trying to communicate. You should attempt to tune in your tone and try to tune in all that you wanted to convey. This will make you see the needs that you have in your relationship. Like in an argument, “You forgot to pick up milk when I reminded you several times,” really implies, “I miss you and want you to spend more time with me.”
Have conversations that are substantive. In order to not seem like you are reading your bio or asking them interrogative questions, have conversations in a story telling style. Tell stories about life markers and experiences that shifted your perspective and impacted your personality. If you want a relationship with short term potential, stick with small talk. But if you are truly ready for something real, you’ve got to get real. That is how you will truly connect on a date.
There are certain rules to follow in order to write an efficient letter and in order for your letter to have the intended effect. You need to make sure that you have clearly identified what will be the overarching purpose of this letter. You need to communicate around no more than 3 key talking points or topics. Your letter cannot be too long; ideally around a page.
It's probably due to the fact that you were together with him for 4 years, which explains why he feels confused about things, but would constantly get back together with the new person. He still shares the love towards you that exists after going through many experiences together throughout the relationship, but has lost the spark for you, which is why he keeps jumping back to the more 'exciting' choice. You're probably going to have to distance yourself and make him realize it on his own and decide which is more important to him.

I met a guy whilst on holiday in Egypt. He seemed really lovely and we saw each other every day and eventually went to his flat ad stayed there at night with him so we were spending 24 hours a day together. Hr said he loves me and wants to marry me I didn’t take it too serious but then I found I had called for him. On my last day he gave me his number and Facebook. When I got back to England I looked at his Facebook it was all women tourists which he has commented on their wall my love habibi and sending hearts to them. The two profiles I could see were a year ago these comments were made but I would not have gone there at all of I had of seen this to start with. He also had one for Arab friends. I went to finish it because I am 43 and he is 26 and I can’t be doing with the drama of Facebook. He never added me but said he would delete his facebooks it took him a couple of weeks but he did it. I said messenger as well because of all these women he had contact with. He said he would and he did. We have spoken everyday and night then hr started no messaging me at night his cousin told me he takes women out shopping at night for money so when he wasn’t messaging me he was doing that and he was saying no women. I made a fake profile of a woman who was gorgeous and he added her on messenger before he deleted it.It came to a massive argument he said I was jealous etc and he said he wanted to finish it. I did a terrible thing and emailed his work and told them he was taking women outside the hotel (they aren’t supposed to) and he got fired. When I got a response from the hotel they said this isn’t the first or last time it will happen that’s why he got fired. We still were speaker he was still telling me he loved me and messaging me but he was sad about loosing his job and I feel so guilty I just got sick of the lies (if they are lies) I was to meet his family and then we were planning to get married. I forgave him for all that because I know I can be jealous. I don’t know if it because I wouldn’t act like this when I have a boyfriend. Anyway a week ago he sent me a message saying I will need forgive you for loosing my job no work etc. Although I had sent money equilvilent to his monthly salary that he lost and said I would do it every month till he gets a job because his family rely on HIM for money. We had a n arguement he blocked me off wats app downloaded messenger again. I downloaded viber a day later and said I loved him he said he loved me and missed me and hr wasnt going to delete messenger although he says he wants this to speak to his family he has gone to see his family so I wander is he speaking to the women he had on Facebook? He hadn’t initially told his mom about me sending and email to his work bit has now told her she says I am bad and he isn’t to marry me he said loves me still I said I will leave him till he has got rid off messenger. He said OK I love you and that was three days ago. I read this article and feel better but I do miss him but do wander is it worth all the bother with this silly apps x
If both you and your ex are on the same page then there really shouldn’t be a reason why you can’t go back for some fun once in a while. In saying that, this is rarely the case. In my opinion it’s best to stay away: if you’re just after a bit of fun, then download Tinder. Avoid any situations where people could potentially get their feelings hurt, no matter how little harm you think it can do at the time.
Obviously, when you’re in love with someone, you want to spend much time with that person. But to create a feeling to miss you, you need to sometimes not be with him. You don’t always have to give up all your time for him. Your boyfriend is not going to miss you if you’re always available. Find things that you can put into yourself. Create your own space and time away from him. While it is important to spend time together to win his heart, it is equally important to give some space so that he’ll realize how special you are and how much he really misses you.
If both you and your ex are on the same page then there really shouldn’t be a reason why you can’t go back for some fun once in a while. In saying that, this is rarely the case. In my opinion it’s best to stay away: if you’re just after a bit of fun, then download Tinder. Avoid any situations where people could potentially get their feelings hurt, no matter how little harm you think it can do at the time.
i know this sounds ridiculous but i met this guy on a facebook game, he asked for my number but i refused to because well why would you want give out your number to a stranger he could be a scam. okay so he gave his instagram id and downloaded kik just to text me. we clicked right away. we spent days and days talking, flirting and joking and i sacrificed my time just to text him because of timezone. one night, he confessed that he had feelings for me that he never felt this great in a long time so i told him i feel the same way (tbh i’ve never fell in love this hard before) and we dated. i won’t deny that i love taking to him and i never believed in ldr before he came. we had few arguments tho, but it wasn’t serious. After days passed by, he went disappeared which i think he deleted his kik. We were good at that moment but idk what’s going on so a week later i went to his instagram to find him, just to you know clear this mess up and start over again and be friends, it doesnt matter if he changed his mind or met a new girl near him.. i just wanted to have a connection with him. The next day, i found out that he blocked me. That was a dick move but what’s worse is that i am still madly in love and maybe will die with the curiosity.
Commitment is a funny thing. We allow our desire for it and other people’s promises of it, to blind and paralyze us from seeing and acting upon red/pink flags that are often, right in front of our face from the get-go. “How to get him to commit to a serious relationship,” is something I’ve Googled too many times to count. I ended up finding the answer through life-living, mistake-making, time-wasting decisions that sabotaged the chances of anyone ever wanting to commit to me in any regard.
I was in a fwb relationship with a man that I’m compatible with. But his ex wife and ex gf of 14 years both cheated on him. He never wants to date or have a relationship again. He says he’s un loveable too. It breaks my heart because I’m very much in love with him. He brok up with me 2 years ago because he knew I was in love with him without saying. We hadn’t talked again til last week. We had wonderful exciting sex. He said he hadn’t been with anyone in a long time.

Again, this is risky since there is a higher chance of him saying no. However, if you two were really making a lot of progress via texting and you really think he is feeling the same way you are about your current relationship then the “I was in the neighborhood method” may do the trick for you. The obvious advantage is that you get an instant date/meet up!

I’m telling you to wait as long as it takes until your ex contacts you. That’s right, it’s going to feel like you’re doing nothing, but remember, as I told you, the no contact rule is doing something – it just doesn’t feel or seem like it to you because you are not your ex or able to read your ex’s mind to know if they are missing you or worried they’ve lost you for good.


Unique lists featuring pop culture, entertainment and crazy facts. Covering the hottest movie and TV topics that fans want. The most LOL-worthy things the Internet has to offer. A fresh take on sports: the biggest news and most entertaining lists. The only place to satisfy all of your guilty pleasures. The go-to source for comic book and superhero movie fans. Pregnancy and parenting news, given to you in a way nobody else has. The Most Entertaining Quiz Site In The World. The World's Most Entertaining Car Website A one-stop shop for all things video games. Website for moms seeking advice, community, and entertainment. Simply the World’s Most Interesting Travel Site.

#5 He is stressed out at work. Men are not like women. They are not multi-taskers. If he is preoccupied with something like work, he probably isn’t capable of keeping his focus on two things at once. If you notice that he’s no longer as interested as he used to be, it’s important for you to start looking not only at his behavior but at what is going on with his family and work life as well. It may have absolutely nothing to do with you at all.
I accept that the break-up was the best decision as it served as the revelation I needed to get therapy. I have finally been diagnosed and am receiving help for my mental illness. I love him, genuinely, and I want to start a new, healthy relationship with him but he was so angry and hurt when I last spoke to him, and I'm afraid that he won't respond to me if I reach out after 'no contact' or allow me to show him my progress... It kills me that I've hurt him so badly, he means so much to me and has done so much to help me.

In fact, for a lot of women this is a natural part of a relationship too. It is really hard to be “on” all the time. For a man, having seasons of drift is totally normal even if he is madly in love with you. Falling in love can make him feel vulnerable and distance is sometimes a natural response to that fear of closeness. He’ll come in and out as he works out his feelings and becomes comfortable in the relationship.


My 3.5 year relationship with my girlfriend ended a week ago when she suddenly broke up with me. We are both divorced with kids and live in the same neighborhood. I have accepted much of what she said as my fault and am going to therapy and have joined a gym to get myself in a good place. I was emotionally withdrawn and ‘cold’ without realizing it and want to improve that for future relationships (with her or anyone). The major complication I think is with her 16 ½ year old daughter, who I sense was on the receiving end of when she was upset. I believe now this greatly contributed to the issue and without my being made aware, I didn’t have an opportunity to improve so it continued and the daughter is not seeing me as a positive future presence in their future.
You're still going to have to go into no contact if you want to win him back eventually, because he probably has an extremely negative opinion of you after everything that has happened, and is also very likely to be exhausted from the relationship hence would feel that he wants nothing to do with you at this point. You have to give him some space to let go because you contacting him right now isn't going to change his mind. Even if he moves on, you can always re-create the emotions and spark he once had for you, but it definitely wouldn't work at this point.
Your man may be withdrawing because he feels like you’re pressuring him to move the relationship along more quickly than he’s comfortable with. If this is the case, there’s a clear and obvious new boyfriend advice you need to take: back off. To stop a man from withdrawing because he’s feeling rushed, you have to let things calm down and create the opportunity for the relationship to develop at a pace that feels good for both of you.
Is there something you can do when you find your man is pulling away from you? Yes, says the author and one of the answers is to cut your losses and move on. Not something most women want to hear. That being said, there are things that can be done provided you are "both" actually "into" the relationship. Possible avenues on which to move forward are presented in this well-researched, common sense guide. Highly recommended.
Commitment is a funny thing. We allow our desire for it and other people’s promises of it, to blind and paralyze us from seeing and acting upon red/pink flags that are often, right in front of our face from the get-go. “How to get him to commit to a serious relationship,” is something I’ve Googled too many times to count. I ended up finding the answer through life-living, mistake-making, time-wasting decisions that sabotaged the chances of anyone ever wanting to commit to me in any regard.
(The underlying point this article/system is hidden between the lines. It's meant to craft you into a confident person, ever deeper than that, it's actually preparing you to be able to ACTUALLY move on. With this new found image and confidence, you may discover that time spent with a person doesn't justify their actions, and you may see that there are better matches out there, and you're now prepared.)
Guys become distant because we lose interest in you. It might be the way you dress, how you talk about the same problems over and over again, etc. If you wouldn’t cry, whine, cause drama about it, etc, we’d be up front and move on. But because it’s a process with potentially more talking, complaining, crying, etc… we just start to ignore you more and more until you decide you’re mad or over it. It’s just easier.

When you do talk, Mintz suggests using the sandwich technique: Give him a compliment, tell him your problem, then follow it up with another compliment. Example: "I really love having sex with you, and after we have sex I feel really close and connected. I know you really want to shower, but I really want to cuddle. Is there a compromise that will work for both of us?"
I reconnected with my ex after four years had gone by we been together now for 6 months the relationship has its ups and downs mostly downs we fight a lot but I love him very much and I want it to work between us he has been pulling back to the point were I’m afraid I’m losing him at first he was with me everyday now I barely see him he doesn’t call when he says he will he doesn’t keep his word it hurts so much so at first I poured my heart out to him over n over again trying to get him to see how much I cared and needed him that made it worse the past few days I’m trying to give him his space keep my mouth shut but it’s so hard I feel so neglected !!!!!!! How long should I give him his space before I confront him ???? This is not ok you can’t be so close to someone then suddenly pull away from them leaving them feelings horrible and rejected!!!!
If you and this man are only just dating (he’s not yet committed or even particularly emotionally attached to you) and he’s off somewhere and not returning your calls, and you send him this text saying “I am thinking about you I can’t forget you I remember every kiss” out of fear that ‘why isn’t he putting me FIRST?’ – then you’re not being vulnerable.

Hey Adam I slept with a guy too soon and have been sleeping with him I don’t feel like he’s looking for anything serious cause he said he wants to take things slow after it all happened. I know he sees other women he told me he likes me an sees himself with me but not right now because he said he doesn’t think it will take much for us to get in a relationship so he wants to let more time pass he invited me to go on vacation with him I don’t know what any of this means really I tried to have an open talk with him about it by saying it’s okay tell me if you don’t want anything serious we can just end it now cause I don’t want to get hurt but he still claims he wants to be with me just not right away what do you think ? Should I run?
If both you and your ex are on the same page then there really shouldn’t be a reason why you can’t go back for some fun once in a while. In saying that, this is rarely the case. In my opinion it’s best to stay away: if you’re just after a bit of fun, then download Tinder. Avoid any situations where people could potentially get their feelings hurt, no matter how little harm you think it can do at the time.
I’ve been “hanging out” with this guy off and on for two years. Before meeting him I read books on this exact subject. I’ve been married and divorced twice so I wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing if I got involved with a man again. I’m very opened about my feels I always have been. I like that about myself but in the past I’ve also been pushy wanting things to happen right away. Now with this guy I’m “hanging out” with has pulled away a lot in the 2 yrs I’ve been seeing him, but he had always come back. I think it’s because I always gave him his space. Since being married and divorced twice taking things slow was fine with me. Just recently though, I couldn’t help myself and I told him that I loved him. I thought for sure he was going to pull away, but he didn’t not right away anyways. In fact, we talked about making it exclusive. I was so happy because it’s what I had been waiting patiently for two years for. Recently, we had a two year anniversary of when we met so being the person I am I gave him a card. I said a paragraph of very heartfelt things. I knew this would definitely make him pull away from me and I was right. Even though I know when it’s going to happen it still doesn’t make it easy to deal with. I love him and I want him to know this. I want him to know that I accept him for who he is. I feel the only way I’m going to get him to trust me is by letting him have his time away from me. When he comes back he’s different, for instance, he more loving sweeter. I believe him when he says he’s happy with me. He too has been in difficult relationships in the past that broke his heart. Love isn’t meant to go fast. Love takes time. I’m glad it’s going this way even though it’s hard because I came from abusive background and it’s why my marriages ended. This guy inspires me to grow and find myself. I’ve started back to school at 43 yrs old because of his encouragement. I don’t feel I have to be someone I’m not when I’m with him. I feel safe when I’m with him. I want him to feel the same when he’s with me. I feel that’s what true love is all about. I may love him but he’s not my whole world, he’s only part of it.

How to get an ex back through reverse psychology? Well you can start by engaging in their game of bluff! I hear people tell me the following all the time: “my ex says they don’t love me anymore”; or “My ex boyfriend said that he still has feelings but that it’s probably best that we stop seeing each other”; or “My ex girlfriend says that all she wants is for me to find someone else and to be happy”!
I love this article, I am definitely going to follow your advice. My only concern is that my ex might’ve done the 4wk no contact along with every thing else to me already. He now texts me everyday and he recently told me that he loves me and he misses me but hasn’t said he wants to get back together and he is talking to another girl. Should I still do this?
You might want to consider personal coaching with me if you require a specific game plan on winning him back, otherwise, go through no contact as read and apply positive changes to your life while getting yourself to an emotional state where you're okay with whatever happens. The only way you win him back is by making those changes in your life and figuring out what went wrong in the relationship that made him feel that he couldn't be himself and the reason he might have lost the spark for you which further reinforced his decision. Also, no more pleading and begging for him back.
Now, here’s the problem with you getting married to Buddy: it’s not something you want to commit to. Buddy still hasn’t gotten his career together enough, and there are issues in the dynamics that you don’t feel good about. Maybe it’s because you really just don’t see him as husband material (since you barely see him as boyfriend material) and him being a whiny doormat to get his way hasn’t helped this a bit.

External control psychology is thinking you know what's best for someone else and attempting to control the outcome based on this belief through punishment or other means.  The more it is used, the more relationships are harmed or destroyed. (information based on William Glasser’s Choice Theory in his book “Counseling with Choice Theory”). Even if he does commit after you walk away, you may have damaged the relationship.
Make sure you have time and privacy to talk this through with him.  Make sure that you are both sober and that this “talk” does not happen while you are being intimate. You want him to give proper attention to what you have to say. It is important that he gives you a clear and honest answer regarding your question about moving to the next stage in the relationship. Make sure that you are both clear as to what “commitment” means to each of you.
It’s essential to get to know yourself in every possible way – not just to be a successful single looking to move into a committed relationship, but to be a successful, unique individual mastering the art of being a very cool human being.  Excelling in your career, building a legacy, and developing intimate relationships with someone else will always be challenging if you don’t first have a solid knowledge of who you are.
I would suggest that you try to stay focused and pick yourself up from this first. She may have the 'pick of the litter', but keep in mind that she did love you through the period you were together and probably still does have certain feelings for you. However, because she is in the new relationship with the other guy which is 'novel', she definitely has taken a stronger interest there at this point because its still a new thing. Work on improving yourself now because if ever there comes a point where you and her cross paths, you would want to be in the position to make a strong impression and to test her true feelings with the other boyfriend she's now with.
So my ex broke up with me a week ago (we had only been dating for two months but apparently it was his longest relationship in awhile) and we’ve been in contact almost every day for the past week just talking as friends so that we don’t lose our snapchat streak (I know that’s a stupid reason to keep in contact with someone). He already drunk texted me saying that he made a mistake but when I confronted him about it the next day he remembered what he said just fine but said he couldn’t get back together because he “needed to work on himself first”. I feel awful starting the “4 week no contact rule” since we’ve been chatting for so long but I really want him back. What do I do?
×