Getting dumped sucks and when your boyfriend decides he doesn’t want you anymore it just tears you apart from the inside out. I feel for you but don’t worry because we are going to take a look at your breakup and figure out the best way to approach things. Again, I want to reiterate this point- don’t assume that the reason your ex boyfriend gave you for why he chose to break up is really why he decided to let you go. This may sound a bit mean, but you are going to have to be completely honest with yourself and possibly look at things that may make you uncomfortable.
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My boyfriend for 4 months started calling and texting less as of the second week of January. It is true that he had some successive things happening one after the other which also prevented us for meeting since the new years eve. But despite that I let him know that I wasn’t happy with his careless behaviour. By the third week of January the date of his thesis submission approached and it just got worse. As I got bady ill for 4 days and he didn’t even get briefed because he did not ask how I was although he kept the conversation, I exploded on him and told him aaaalll I felt and went through and how he was absent when I needed him. My message just stayed unread on purpose till the morning and he tried to start a new normal conversation as usual like nothing happened. I was pissed off so I answered short, late, and tough. He stopped talking and by the time I cooled down he was already shut off. I ended up keeping the conversation somehow as he stopped initiating. By the following weekend I was near his area and we were talking so I asked if he feels like going out having some air. He made an excuse and I just headed home. We talked less and less through the following week, by thursday night we had a light chat and I asked how he was, he said that he was very tired and unhappy. As I asked why, is it going bad at work, my message just stayed unread till the morning. It was Friday 9 Feb. And he was quite responsive through the day, so I asked to meet and as he kept making excuses related to work, I just pushed more. So he just stopped responding to my messages and calls. Yes I know I did aaaall kinds of the things to avoid in these situations but I could not help but to see and understand what was happening to him that he had to express his unhappiness. After this incident I just disappeared too until valentine’s day at around 10 pm. I sent a brief apology message for my harsh words and putting the blame on him (when I exploded on him) while he was already having a hard time by himself. I wished him good luck with his upcoming thesis presentation (16 Feb) and wished him that he would never tell anybody again that he is tired and unhappy as he said to me the week before. I got an answer for this message that I was a wonderful girl and very understanding and I have nothing to apologise for and thanks for the good wishes and that I deserve the best and he hopes I will find what I deserve.
Ah so you had a sneaking suspicion but were proven wrong. This is bad for you for a couple of reasons. First off, your boyfriend surely will feel worried about incurring your wrath whenever they want to do something. Secondly, it makes your ex feel like you never trusted them. Luckily, you can work on this and prove to him that you are no longer the person who suspects him every time he goes out (without you.)
Until recently , I contact him again hoping to win him back another time(for godsake I dunno why after all the scolding from him to me and disrespecting me).Thinking I have grow to be more confident.Sadly, I made the mistake again falling in the booty call. I regret so much. What should I do? I keep choosing him over and over again. Although he said he dont want my love .Yet I keep going back to him.
I say that because we’ve been together for three years. I just feel like he would’ve figured out sooner than later if I was what he wanted in a girlfriend. Our relationship is/was so great. We talked everyday, some days less than others but at the beginning and end of the day we always made contact. We hung out mostly 4out of 7 days a week. We’ve always made enough time for eachother, and what we want to do ourselves. We hardly ever fought. Of course we’ve had our few disputes, but nothing we couldn’t work through.
Take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions without making value judgements – blaming and harshness only serves to make you more emotional. Learn to accept your own failings and inadequacies (if you really must use judgemental words). I think you’ll also benefit from reading my articles on how to deal with criticism and how to deal with rejection.
Understanding that you do not need a man in order to be the best version of yourself is crucial. Loving yourself and doing exactly what makes you happy is key, which means that you need to know how to be happy alone. When you have this type of mentality, you will be able to spot red flags instantly and become more admirable. If a man wants to be with you, he will make it known throughout the relationship. He will make it known in healthy ways of properly courting you. He’s not going to send you the late night 11 pm or 1 am text for you to come over and “watch a movie.”
Renee’s, we’ve had no interaction since he responded to confirm he’s dealing with some things and would explain when he could and apologized for pulling away. That was two months ago. It’s been total silence since then.I reached out to give him encouragement and let him know I’m still here for him and loved him and am very proud of the man he is. I asked if he needed more time, no reply yet. That was a week ago. Up until this stage, he’s been a truly reliable, mature, stand up guy. He’s been broken from previous relationships but with… Read more »
I want you to imagine something for a moment. Lets say that you and your ex girlfriend are texting pretty frequently. The two of you are responding at a pretty good clip (meaning both of you are responding to one another.) I think in this case when she has already proven that she is responding to you in a frequent manner you don’t have to pay as much attention to neutral responses if they are in the middle of a texting conversation.
What I am going to share with you now is the most common reasons being men’s disappearing acts! As you read through this article, it’s essential that you understand that men are natural born hunters who enjoy the chase. If he is interested in having you as his girlfriend, he will show you this with his actions. Be careful to never settle for a man that isn’t giving you 100% with his actions but is saying everything with his words. This is where a lot of women run into trouble in their search for a good man. Pay attention to his actions more than his words.
Every single woman on the face of this earth wants to feel wanted. They want to feel protected and cared for. One of the things I have always been impressed with is how caring women can be. Any girlfriend I have had is always there to remind me when important stuff is about to come up. While most men may be a little annoyed with the constant reminders I am not. I kind of like that there is someone out there watching out for me.
In these situations where there’s not enough connection and attraction right from the start, it usually means that we should let it go. Usually, when the relationship was based on sex and even convenience in the beginning – it’s a good sign that he’s pulling away forever. Why? Because men fall in love and commit to the woman that they see as their ‘one and only’, and not the ‘one of many’.
Thank you for your comment. So this is very common and it seems to me he is keeping you around but not a priority. You will not get a true commitment from a man if he does not see you as a priority. There could be a way of changing this and you should not give him your time when he asks for it moving forward. I encourage you to reach out to me here and book a 30 or 1HR coaching session so we can discuss how to change this moving forward. Hope to hear from you soon. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2/
We as women want to take a man’s resources – time, attention, money, commitment. That naturally requires that he trust us in order to give those precious resources. Do you understand that, as a woman, it feels very intuitive to you to want to take time, resources, love, affection and attention from a man – but that it also feels intuitive to a man to feel that these very things that you want, is a huge, huge job for him?
Put out the fire by focusing directly on the process, the emotions and actions. We’re beginning to argue, I’m starting to feel angry. Fix the emotion – your anger – by breathing and calming yourself down, by walking away. Do your best to stay out of the weeds of content; if you don't, you'll wind up talking about Christmas '08 again, and you know where that leads.
Determine why the relationship is in trouble. All relationships go through rough patches at one point or another. As the novelty of your first few months together wears off, problems and stress start to pile up and things you once found cute begin to annoy you to no end. While there are always small issues in a relationship, some issues can cause problems when they linger under the surface for too long:
If you feel something’s wrong in the relationship or if your partner’s done something objectionable, talk to your partner without accusing them or shouting at them. Help your partner understand how you feel about it instead of yelling or cursing at your lover. And unless an unpardonable mistake is repeated, learn to forgive and forget. Sometimes, even the best of us can make a mistake without really wanting to.
my boyfriend of two yeRs and i are currently having some problems in our relationship. the first six months of this relationship we didnt see eachother and everybody around him doubted us. i started seeing him about once a week after that six month period. we were so happy back then. he had some self esteem issues at the time and i helped him get through all of that. in my childhood i never showed any emotion for anything really. i always bottled it up. so when i finally trusted my boyfriend i began to express i guess what was built up anger and hurt from my childood or something. basically i havent been the best girlfriemd even though he definitely deserved the best of me since he cared so much about me and always tried to comfort me. throughout this two year i guess you could say i found him at his worst and he progressively seen mine. we would fight over stupid things but when we were together everything was perfect. sometimes i would stonewall him because i didnt really know how else to deal with my emotions. recently he was talkig to some girl about our problems and i couldnt stand that. then and sunday he said hes been acting he doesnt want to hurt me and that he doesnt know if he really loves me anymore. he has stonwalled me for a while as well. as of sunday he wanted a no contact break and i literally barely made it through the first day. and i gave in and called him we only talked for ten minutes today is the second day and i still dont know what to do. i think our problems can fiixed but this no contact thing ends on friday or saturday and i honestly think he wants to leave me. i dont know what i will do if he leaves. i need some real relationship advice and dont rwally have anybody to go to. i would like to hear your opinion and also would like to know if you could suggest a person i could ask to be like a third party opinion for me i dont want to go to counsellig as i dont have the money for it. but is there like a relative or something i should go to that isnt going to be biased?
It’s tough for someone to nail down to source of feeling not OK, but they unconsciously latch onto things that will get rid of this feeling, usually through reassurance or trying to make situations come about that they feel will make them happy and finally grant them relief. This inevitably impacts your vibe, you become a parasite of sorts and everyone you come into contact with is simply a means to an end.
It is important to take time after breaking up and before trying to get your ex back to examine your own emotions and decide if you truly should be with that person. Rekindled relationships often suffer from a lack of trust and can be more likely to cycle on-again-off-again with repeated breakups. If you're not 100% sure that you want to be with this person in the long-term, avoid further pain by doing your best to get over your ex instead of pursuing him or her again.