My girlfriend and I were together for three years and we got into a fight after I had asked if she saw me in her future. She suffers from severe anxiety and that question caused a lot of anxiety to spike. I pushed way too hard to get a response and I pushed her away as a result. My neediness and insecurity forced my best friend, the person that made me become a better version of myself, someone who made me feel like I could do anything, out of my life. I started no contact on September 20th and asked her to mail me my stuff on the 16th before then. I was really a mess and she ended up blocking me on all social media because of it. She still follows my sisters and cousin however and at a family wedding she looked at my sisters snapchat story which she saw me on in every single picture. I am confused as to what this means but I only got my stuff in the mail today, October 4th and she sent it on Tuesday the 2nd. I want to reach out to her and thank her for sending it and I want to be able to apologize for my behavior after the break up. I know I hurt her and I do not expect a response or even to get back together, I simply would like to be on speaking terms right now. But I do not know if it is 1, too soon to contact her and 2, if what I am writing sounds stupid or not...I am not the best writer and I used to send her my papers for what I called stupid check (shes brilliant and has phenomenal grammar). I am 21 and she is 24, we started dating in her senior year of college and my freshman year and became long distance. She met my family many times and my whole family loved her. She would come stay with us over the summer for a week at a time as well as for a week after Christmas. I definitely made mistakes but I just need some advice before approaching her. Any help I can get would be so useful.

This tactic may be a little harder to implement because it can sometimes depend on the situation that your ex is currently in. Basically you are going to bring up a stressful event very gently and show that you are going to be supportive no matter what with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. This has to be completely genuine otherwise you are better off not saying anything at all.

You might be going all in too soon. I would take a couple steps back and figure out what it is that you want from a man and put yourself first. It takes time to build attraction and sometimes people text for attention only. You don’t know there intentions until you continue to date someone and see them face to face. I wouldn’t take this personally and I would suggest mirroring what they are doing to you.
Marina is a founder and CEO of NY Socials; New York’s Premier Elite Members-Only Dating Club. She is regarded as a top Matchmaker and Dating Coach in New York.  Her success comes from her belief that dating should be effortless and fun. Therefore, she equips every client with the ability to easily attract a woman of their dreams before introducing them.
At some point, he will ask himself: Is this the woman I want to commit myself to? The answer will determine whether the relationship deepens or ends. Do you know how a man decides a woman is girlfriend or wife material? Do you know what inspires a man to want to commit? If not, you need to read this article next: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
After that I told him to leave me alone because I needed to whitdraw from him, also in order to give him the space he was asking for, and he said that he hadn´t seen that much to me since we broke up. I insisted, and he respected it.I told him that I would contact him about the party. But last weekend he and his friend was out again, and now his friend texted me, asking med to come to the club. I refused again. Then I contacted my ex last Sunday to talk about the party, because he has some tables and chairs I could borrow for the party. He responded immediately, and have been written a few times after about how my daughter was doing, and he also showed up Monday when she had her last examen to celebrate her.
What I dislike about the article is that it really does not give any insight on how we can actually show the man that we were hurt and neglected. Would men like it if we had a come-and-go attitude? Is it too much to ask to think about the other person before disappearing? I don’t get it why we should be so bothered to not show our feelings, I doubt that a man would be more committed and less neglectful if after days he disappeared we would be like “oh I’m do glad I’m hearing back from you” as if everything is just fine. How convenient. It might give him the impression you had no problem with the whole thing while, while you did. Now let me ask you something personal since you are a dude, what about a man that does not text for 10 days while you had established daily or every two days fb messenger communication – while he gets online everyday and has liked another girl’s photo in the meantime. No, the girl was not a friend. I got really pissed off that he never talked to me for so long especially because of that and I told him. I disconnected and I do regret the whole situation. Just so you have the background, he was a guy I was seeing last year, we were together for about 3 months and when he sensed it was time to be official he just bailed out due to his personal problems-and indeed he was not at his best. He also quickly became distant and I blocked him with no explanation (I don’t take it that he would appear and disappear to taste) and then when I was calmer I unblocked him (did not reconnect though) and I explained myself. After another half year he texted me that he felt e distant too and reconnected with me and we had a daily communication pattern but we had not talked on where we stand which also bothered me.
He knows I hate when he ignores me and sometimes I feel he does it purposely. It will only be a few hours so I know I’m also being irrational but during those times I completely get beside myself thinking he’s with the woman he slept with. Last night I went to his house and he basically kicked me out at 2am bc he was doing paperwork (taxes). He called me crackw%^*# and a liar, I’m not even sure why he would call me such filth and told me I’m too independent and I need to learn to be more submissive. Instead of arguing I should be making him dinner and cleaning his house. Other times he adores and worships the ground I walk on. This all started when I wouldn’t move in to his house bc I felt if he truly wanted to live together we could move into another house together. Plus he absolutely hates my dog, my apartment and basically everything I do. I ask him why he’s even with me if I have according to him so many “hang ups”. Advice please.
A man should allow a woman to completely express her concerns without feeling that they have to “fix it.” This enables her to feel validated and him to better address her needs. I am not advocating for a man to remain silent and not to provide his feedback. I am stressing that by simply listening to her in an earnest way, he is helping her work through her issues/problems.
"Typically, when a relationship ends, there may be pain, sadness, or negative feelings on one side or both," says Dr. Amie Harwick, MFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist in West Hollywood. "When considering getting back with an ex, one must consider if they can work through the differences." And while we can’t directly tell you which are good reasons to get back together with an ex, it's a smart idea to consider why you got together with this person in the first place. Are those the reasons you want them back? Do they outweigh the reasons why you broke up? Then there may be reasons to proceed.
“I was absolutely crushed when my boyfriend broke up with me seemingly out of the blue. Beyond devastated. I read so many articles on how to get your ex back but they all seemed so stupid. Then I found you guys. I read what you wrote about the no contact rule, and also questions to ask before getting back together with an ex and my mind was blown. I followed your advice to a T and when I was feeling really strong, I contacted him. We ended up meeting for a drink and he said I seemed different, more relaxed and comfortable with myself. We didn’t dive right back in, it was a slow process but it felt so different the second time. I didn’t feel so needy and terrified of losing him and everything just felt different. Anyway, we’ve been going strong for two years now and are looking for a place to move into together and I owe it all to you!”
Don’t drop everything to be with your man. Don’t lose in touch with your friends, drop hobbies you had before or stop going to the gym. You can still have all these things while being in a relationship. It is important to show your man that you enjoy time being with him and also being away from him, show him that you don’t necessarily need him to have fun or to take care of you; you can do all these things yourself however it just so happens that you also enjoy his company too.
As an older man, I’m not sure if I can explain what’s happening and how relationships have changed over the past 40 years or so. Young men, like my son and his friends, view relationships differently from their fathers and are in the process of changing the relationship landscape forever. In my day, marriage was assumed and divorce was rare. Today, divorce is assumed, along with alimony and marriage, is to be avoided at all costs. Your boyfriends might not be pulling away from you as much as they are pulling away from a society that views them as disposable… Read more »

My partner and I have been together for 8 years and engaged for 9 months. We are both in our early 30's. For the month of April we have been arguing frequently, mainly because I wanted to finally move in together since we have been together for such a long time... everytime I would find an apt that was suitable for us, he would come up with an excuse. After a few weeks of searching, I finally found an apt that met all of his standards. On the following days, I took the opportunity to let him know how I was feeling due to the fact that we have been arguing about the moving in situation, and I was feeling some type of way, including feeling somewhat neglected etc. That same particular night, we got into another argument, this time was because he didn't want to stay over the night. I was so upset because I just expressed to him how I felt and i truly thought he understood my view. The very next day he came over my house to let me know that he needs space away from me to figure things out and to see whether we should stay together or not and says he no longer wants to move in with me. For the 1st 2 weeks I did the whole pleading and begging, then I stopped. It's been a month since we haven't seen each other;however, he still texts me and occasionally calls.. he still says that he loves me and that he misses me. Idk how to interpret his behavior.


My ex started slowly reaching out to me after 3 months no contact. Maybe a message once every couple weeks. I played it cool & did everything I should do. The texts increased in frequency over the course of a month to the point where it was an everyday thing and they were going from casual texts to him implying he missed certain things about us. I did very well keeping my cool and maintaining a flirty fun persona while still having my own life and not eagerly texting back. At this point, I got a random feeling to check to see if he was online dating and when I looked I found that he had just signed up for a dating site. Instinct kicked in and instead of taking the time to assess about what it could mean and respond appropriately, I reacted. I texted him I miss him and lost all control. Ever since than he still initiates contact sometimes but only through Snapchat and it’s very informal or sometimes he won’t answer me and leaves me hanging. He never speaks of any memories or flirts anymore and now I am the one doing it. Everything flipped and I don’t know what to do. I was so close to getting him to hang out and see me. I feel like he’s no longer interested and since he is online dating I feel I have lost my chance. I really regret letting my panick ruin what could have been a reconciliation. It was stupid and careless. Idk what to do from here.
At this point, any negative feelings or opinions your ex had have most likely dissipated. He’s forgotten about the bad times, about the fights, about what went wrong. Human beings have a tendency to idealize the past. So once you’re “past,” he will only remember the good stuff and the bad stuff will drift further into the recesses of his mind. And it won’t be long before he starts to wonder what you’re up to…
Work on your self-esteem. If you struggle with neediness, you're probably a little lacking in the self-esteem department. You might be looking for your ex to make you feel better about yourself, but the fact is that you are the only person who can really do that. You shouldn't base your happiness on someone else. It makes them feel guilty, obligated and eventually, resentful towards you.
Two weeks ago I hit him. He became very angry and said that it was too late for me. After that we have hung and cuddled, as usual. He's going to London in a few days and we're still not together again. I'm afraid I've broken my chances by hitting him and making drama. I do not know how to do "no contact" when he is in another country, busy with studies. Can you help me? He says he still loves me, but lacks sparkle. He also thinks that it's a lot of drama and I'm rushing things. He says he will still hang and talk. But it will not work for me, I will become insecure and make more drama. What shall I do?

What a stressful article! I mean, “Look sexy, get kinky, be aggressive, give him space, take care of yourself, don’t be a drama queen, don’t try so hard…” Blah blah blah!!! Be you. Be as crazy and assertive and talkative and love yourself the way you are. Don’t break your back trying to look how you think he wants you to look, or force yourself into an uncomfortable sexual encounter because you don’t want him to get bored and wonder off… Men need to be held accountable too! And if you are doing everything to make him stay, you’re only going to resent him for not putting in as much effort. And he won’t. Because he’s a dude. So just be you and find someone you don’t feel the need to CHANGE or CHANGE FOR.
Hi! My boyfriend of just under 1 year broke up with me a few days ago. We were the perfect couple, incredibly similar and always had an amazing time together. However there was one issue that popped up time and time again. He wanted to go out clubbing with his friends, but never wanted me to go with him. I felt incredibly neglected and became insecure because I felt like he didn't want to be around me. This would in turn bring about arguments. We broke up in a friendly way, he told me that this decision was breaking his heart but that he didn't see anything changing because the issue kept coming up. He told me I am the best girlfriend he's ever had, and would definitely miss me, but that his decision was made because due to the fighting, he believed he had lost his feelings for me. Further, he believed our similarity was a bad thing, even though we never had any issues or arguments about anything we ever agreed on. Since we broke up we have been in no contact, apart from the day after we broke up where I phoned him crying and sent him a couple of texts trying to convince him that he'd made a mistake. He is incredibly stubborn and I have this feeling that even if he realised he made a mistake, his stubbornness would stop him from reaching out to me. I want him back, and have realised how my insecurities pushed him away. I'm in the process of following all your steps so that I have the best chance of getting him back, because other than this one issue, we are perfect together. My question now, is after so much reflecting I've realised how I contributed to the break up and learnt how I can fix this if we tried again. So I was considering an "elephant in the room" text to let him know how much I've realised and learnt, but I'm worried about appearing desperate which is not my aim. Should I send him a text outlining what I've discovered, but end it in a way where it shows I'm not expecting a response or a second chance? or should I continue my no contact period?
More often than not if you have gotten this far in your conquest to get them back they are going to respond back positively. Except this time you are going to engage them in a conversation but make sure that you don’t go too fast. Remember, you still have to be the one to end the conversation first. Lets look at how a conversation like this might play out using an example from above:
Spend time with good friends. One of the best ways to source yourself is to put yourself in the company of good friends. Good friends remind you of who you really are. They can give you a new perspective on things and can generally be fun to be around. Good friends serve as one of the best distractions as opposed to eating a bucket of ice cream and watching Netflix all alone because they can help to build you up in the meantime and leave you more empowered, stronger, and more in touch with who you are. It might be worth it to define who good friends are. Good friends are friends that help you choose the most useful and empowering interpretation of your situation. They don’t look to blame or help you wallow in self-pity. They have compassion for you, yet believe that you are inherently fine. They remind you of how fun you are and how much life itself has to offer. Spending time with people like this will feed your soul. During this time take advantage of everything these wonderful people in your life have to offer. Plan a trip. See that show you all always wanted to see. Do all the things that make you feel alive and do it in good company.
When I was younger I always used to real men in and then cast them back out. So when I was with them I was fun, talked about them more than me and didn’t ever nag them but as soon as the day/night ended I wouldn’t call or text (or even really think about them) til they got back in touch. Men love women like that. Since having kids and now being single again it’s not quite so easy due to lack of spare time and me worrying that each person isn’t going to be good enough for the rest of my life, but after reading this I need to get back on track with my old ways. When I was in a relationship I was exactly the same and would never expect them to do boring things like shopping or visiting my mums house for dinner and I wouldn’t gatecrash their family events. I’d encourage them to go and see friends but they end up wanting to be with you more then .

Hello, my fiancee give me a ring. We was looking at getting married nextyear. I came to a realization that I was a convenient around him. He was to controlling and wanted to have his way. When I begin to show him that I didn’t like the way he acted and flirted around other women online and in public. He begin to blame me of being to jealous and controlling. Well he broke up with me sad he was just going to find himself and be along. Come to find out he moved in some female he knew from high… Read more »
I've been applying the no-contact rule for a month now. (Broke up 9/1/18, didn't start NC till 9/18/18, before that had dated for 5 years 34yo(me) and 24(her)). I'm feeling better, I have no idea how she is feeling. My initial plan was to do a long no contact, like 3 months, because she was extremely adamant about the breakup and is a very determined girl in general (It was a loss of connection and attraction dumping, btw). And I think she wanted to experience a period of being single since she's been locked up in various relationships basically forever, which influenced me to think the longer period would be wise.
You may want to actually have a good idea on what you’re talking about before making conclusions about people. One of the things Eric stresses in many of his articles is that a woman needs to be happy with her own life and love herself before she can truly be happy in a relationship. He also points out that if a woman is happy on her own, she will attract love and that it is then up to her to decide if a man is right for her. Kinda sounds like she’s the one in control of her own happiness. How is that sexist? In order to learn, you need to read the entire articles, not just pick out the parts that you can twist into being offensive. However, it’s quite clear that you have some serious anger issues towards men, in which case, how can you possibly expect to be in a happy relationship with one?
OMG…I think we’re in the same exact place. And after reading this article, I think I know exactly what to do. I’ve been so consumed with getting hurt again, that I’ve totally missed the fact that the guy I was previously dating kept wanting to hold on to me, even though he keeps saying he doesn’t want a relatinship. THAT’S A CLEAR TED FLAG FOR ME. I recently broke it off with him because he refused to commit, but the next time, I’ll get it right….THIS ARTICLE IS SO PROFOUND!
My boyfriend broke up with me over a month ago. He won't answer my calls or texts and blocked me on Facebook. I am trying so hard to stop contacting him via text but it's hard because we talked everyday for six months. I cry and miss him terribly and he won't talk to me. I am trying to hard to do the 30 day no contact rule. my email is girl8eliza@hotmail.com
Your guy should trust you. Each relationship will open up differently and there will be times of passion and times of quiet. When you come to a fuller understanding of each other’s needs your relationship will deepen and get serious. In most cases, giving your partner space doesn’t mean he’s taking advantage of you. Keep your mind open, your expectations high, and your heart ready. Falling in love is hard work.
Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?
This was and interesting article. I’ve been seen a man for nearly a year. He has told me he loves me, but I get mixed messages and it’s causing me to be confused about the longevity of our relationship. He doesn’t plan time for dates or going out. He might say come to dinner the next day, but I might not hear from him about dinner, like he forgot. I feel that a lot of what we do is based on him and although he might ask my opinion, it’s often is not taken. I don’t feel like a priority to him. I’m confused, but I am in love with him. Help
End the conversation first. Start hanging up the phone or ending the text conversation before he does, especially if you’re usually the last to say goodbye. Being the first to end the conversation will leave him wanting more, and keep you on his mind until he talks to you again. This longing for more communication will start to drive him wild with his desire to talk to you.[3]
Put your guy on your very own reward system if you want him to warm up to the idea of finally committing to you. When a guy goes out of his way to do something nice for you, and you reward him for his efforts, it will make him see commitment in a new light. A reward can be something as simple as saying “thank you,” or it could be a kiss on the cheek, a hug, or buying him a cupcake from his favorite bakery. Rewarding him lets him know that he is able to please you, and if he’s able to make you happy, you have officially placed yourself in the category as the girl he would love to commit to.
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My boyfriend of 7 years wanted to take a break so that we can focus on ourselves for a while. He said he was doing it for me and that it wasn’t a break up just a break. I didn’t hear from him for a week and I couldn’t take it anymore so I texted him a week later asking if he’s done with me to let me know and he told me he was happy where he was and thought it was best to not get back together. And this was all over text so I told him if we end it to end it in person so we met up the next day and we talked and ended it maturely but I just didn’t understand because we were so good together. He told me he was happy throughout our relationship but felt “trapped” which I didn’t understand but anyways just last week I logged into his Instagram account and saw a message from a girl calling him babe. So I texted him and told him “I hope _____ makes you happy, don’t ever speak to me again.” And of course he didn’t reply back. I’m so hurt, and felt so insecure because this whole time I thought I was the problem but it turns out he didn’t want to be with me because he was catching feelings for someone else..
Honestly, it is hard to think of any disadvantages when using text messages. Texting is the communication highway for today’s couples. You and your boyfriend probably texted each other all the time and rarely shared them with anyone. Basically texting is super intimate. You can share cute pictures and do all sorts of really fun things. Not to mention it is impossible to raise your voice over a text message. However, I would say the biggest advantage to text messaging would be the fact that you can take your time and think everything through. This is something that calling on the phone won’t allow you.
Familiarity leads to fights and all couples have fights — nasty ones with abuses and allegations. There is something to be learnt about your relationship after the fight. When a couple makes up after a fight, it shows that the partners want to resolve issues and continue. Clinical psychologist Saloni Sawnani says, “What makes these relationships strong for a lifetime is that no matter how major the argument there is always resolution and compromise. When the same happens in your relationship a sense of permanency sets in. Then you can be quite certain it is for keeps.”
Stopping communications with your ex is absolutely imperative because you are going to become a happier and a more attractive person during this step. Remember all the negative traits we talked about in step 1? You have to get rid of all those traits. Think of it as trying to seduce someone new. You have to be confident, calm, relaxed, happy and a fun person to be considered attractive.
On the flip side, some men will pull away just as much if their date strongly insists that they must pay their own share. As callous as this may sound, most of us have egos bigger than Mt. Kilimanjaro, yet are as fragile as a fly. Trying to assert dominance in this situation may make your date run away. Even though you’ve done nothing wrong. Yes, I confess… we can be just as confusing to you, as women are to us.

Make sure you give the one you are with the proper time, attention, and affection. Don’t make her question why you aren’t texting back as quickly as you used to or why every date night has turned into “Netflix and Chill”. Don’t be lazy and don’t take her love for granted. If you stop making the effort, she will be tempted to leave your dumb @$$ when she finds someone who will.
Getting a guy to commit isn’t that hard at all. You just need to know what you want and be bold enough to go after it. Some studies say that the word ’want’ is one of the most powerful words on the planet. And if you have been wondering what makes a man commit, then wonder no more.; just find little ways to make him 'want' you. Turn this demanding word into something sexy and use it to your advantage. Tell him what you want and when you want it. But don’t make it sound like you are a spoiled brat or like you are being bossy. Just make sure you give out the vibe of a confident woman whose views and wishes can’t be shaken just because you’re in love. Men like to rule but they love a woman who knows when to take control; he will love that, for sure.
"How long am I expected to live like this? The days are VERY lonely. It's an unbelievably depressing feeling to wake up and immediately realize that I'm not home, and have no friends or family to talk with … I get up, I meditate, I swim, I go to work, I eat, I lift some weights, I meditate again and go to sleep. Wash, rinse, and repeat. I'm not enjoying work (which would normally be a decent distraction), but feel I can't quit, as I have too many financial responsibilities I have to uphold. I'm amazed I haven't gone mad yet.
For instance, in the future when he was traveling for business and staying alone in hotels he would plan ahead what to do in the evenings: phone his wife, work on his computer, read, watch his favorite TV shows.  He would NOT go to the hotel bar. If he met people in the lobby, if the acquaintances were women he would speak with them briefly and then say goodbye.  He would go out to dinner only with men friends.  If women joined them, he would not engage in one-on-one conversations with them. Alcohol, private time with women plus loneliness and a disconnected relationship with his wife had been a dangerous combination for him. 
Trust me, your friends, your co-workers, your lab partner, your neighbor, and your barista at Starbucks are all sick and tired of hearing about this guy. And deep down inside, you’re probably a little bit tired of talking about him, too. When you focus so much of your attention on one person, you can slowly drive yourself insane. You’ll be constantly thinking about him, replaying your last conversation over and over again in your mind, wondering what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with, and wondering if he’s thinking about you at that exact moment. It’s not healthy, and it definitely won’t get you any closer to being in a relationship.
Pursue your passion. Most of us may struggle to say what our passion in life is. We are too bogged down in our obligations, responsibilities, and routines to carve out any time to give some thought to the things we are passionate about. Your time of no contact is as good a time as any to figure it out. Maybe you’ve always had a love for good art. Maybe you are excited by gardening or writing. Take this time to do those things Also, take this time to try something new. You might just find a passion for something you didn’t know you had before. Engaging in the activities and hobbies that we love, that we are good at, and that we are passionate about go a long way to remind us of our essence and make us feel alive again.
If you want him to miss you, if you want him to realize what he’s walked away from, then you need to make him realize what he’s given up and you’re not doing that, if you’re still giving him the goods after he’s ended the relationship. No, you need to think of it like this, if he broke up with you, then he broke up with all of the great benefits that being with you came with. If you think that letting him into your bed will help to make him miss you, then you’re wrong. The only thing happening after that is his respect for you depleting.
You need to rely on your intuitions when you meet someone new. Nevertheless, avoid being judgmental or picky from the beginning. It is vital for you to be open-minded. In fact, you should stop overanalyzing every single aspect. Things work out in a better way when you take it easy for the first few weeks. This will also help you to get to know the guy better.
The best way to optimize your chances of getting your ex bf back is to become Ungettable Girl.  You want to increase your value in his eyes and also make it difficult for him to reach you, talk to you, and see you.  This is just a small part of becoming the Ungettable Girl.  It’s also about making yourself beautiful in his eyes from afar.  He can see you, but now it is at a distance (through Snap chat, Facebook, etc).   Slowly over time, your ex boyfriend will crave you and you will do things to ensure that he feels that craving every day by using little jealousy ploys and rumors and chance encounters.  Your ex boyfriend loves nothing more than a good chase – so give him one.
This is a great article; really clearly illustrated how women pull away for different reasons. I can think of times when I just wanted some space, and I couldn't understand why my partner couldn't sense this and give it to me. I didn't appreciate that she probably thought there was something wrong and that she could help me feel better. I can also remember times when my partner pulled away and I assumed she just wanted space herself, only to realize later that she was hurt and I should have addressed it.

This article was exactly what I needed to read. It was straight to the point but very in depth with how simple it is to keep your man into you. Right now I could use the help with my current relationship. Eric Charles, if there was any way to get your insight on my current situation I would greatly appreciate that. Thank you for the great insight above.
on Tuesday after work he like came up to me and was like “i’m gonna start writing down my feelings, that’s what you're doing right?” and so i was like “yeah it’s this book” cuz i had the book with me. then he was like oh lemme read it so i was like okay pick a page so he did and then he read that page but then he ended up reading more. after i took the book off him he tried to take it back off me and while he did that he cut me by accident and my finger started bleeding. then he holds my finger and say “i'm sorry i feel really bad” and i say oh its fine dw about it. THEN he kisses my finger. then after a while he was sitting there lookin all sad and so i was like what’s wrong? and he was like can i talk to you outside and so i was like okay. then we go outside and he was like “I didn’t even realize this but i still love you so so much” and he was like almost crying so i was like aww come give me a hug so he hugged me and it was like really tight hug like it was different. but then he’s like but i dont wanna give you false hope.so i was like yeah okay i know. then Thursday he tells the girl he's "moved on" to that he likes her and that’s okay whatever it’s his choice but then on friday he tells my friend on snap chat that he still has romantic feelings for me.

Kimberly Seltzer is a Makeover & Confidence Expert, Therapist and Dating Coach based in Los Angeles. She utilizes the unique combined use of therapy, in-field date coaching, NLP and styling to help people with their confidence and dating life. She is a regular contributor to the Huffington Post, DigitalRomance.com, WorldLifeStyle.com and YourTango and is featured in Cosmopolitan Magazine, AskMen, Fox News Magazine, Redbook and Yahoo Shine. Check out Kimberly’s site seltzerstyle.com.
When you do not get enough sleep, your negativity takes over big time. This was the conclusion researchers came to after several experiments. One of these is particularly interesting. The researchers homed in on the hippocampus which is the part of the brain which processes our positive thoughts. When we are sleep deprived, this function starts to creak and negative thoughts muscle in much more than before.
Hi Lauren... Please please help me My ex broke up with me three weeks ago. After the break up I begged him for two days. Then I did no contact for a week and tried to reconcile which lead to me begging again for two days when he said no. So now I have done a no contact for two weeks . He hasn't been in touch with me since. I am worried he may never get in touch again. It is a long distance relationship and difficult to go and see him anytime. Why did we break up? We argued about something...he ignored me for few days then when we spoke I basically shouted at him for ignoring me we then got into a massive row and said things back and forth which resulted in him saying 'I can't do this anymore it's over,' Lauren, we had broken up before and it took us six months to get back together because in that six months we were both going back and forth, when he was ignoring me I wasn't and when I was ignoring him he wasn't, we went back and forth like this for a while until eventually we both just kissed and made up and it was all good for a month until the next row. I feel that when we are together we never argue but when we talk on the phone we argue. I explained this to him, but he doesn't seem to listen or care about how good we are and does not wanna work on this relationship anymore. Please advise what I can do.... ...

You are very welcome, credit where credit is due. I understand the dilemma you face (I am in a similar line of work as you) marketing is a way to reach a larger audience and spread your authentic message to women who need it most. These gimmicky writers end up sent to spam when they are always trying to “trick” women in to buying the latest ground breaker (which often it isn’t) there are many cowboys out there, and what I observe so often, sadly…is that many women BELIEVE it has to be difficult, perhaps even that there is something wrong with men and they must be tricked! the beauty of what you write is that you keep it simple and you speak in a way that reaches out to people, the great tragedy is that despite it being an uncomplicated and heartfelt message that truly works when actioned, it takes time and effort and a commitment to self growth to actually become this woman you describe. One who is happy, healthy and balanced…
Break ups aren’t easy and that fact is all the more true now, thanks to social media. It can be a really painful experience logging onto your profile to discover that you ex has been having seemingly the time of their lives, whilst you’ve been locked up at home missing them, but you don’t have to settle for that. You don’t have to be one of those people who watches from afar, as their ex takes off and never looks back.

HI Sara…sorry for your pain. You will benefit by picking up a copy of my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro. (go to website Menu/products link). It is very comprehensive and can cover so much more helpful information that I can here in this forum. At a minimum, I think you both needs some space and time away from each other to work on things and let the emotions subside. The key is your own self recovery and you will learn more about that and why its so important. So go take a look at some of the resources here on my site!


So since the last meet up at his apartment. I left him alone. 6 days after not reaching out to him and trying to do the NC. He texts me late at night while I’m out with friends saying he misses me and if I could come over. I was dumb and called him an hour after I received the text and ask him why he wanted me over and if he was drunk. He said no that he had honestly just woken up and that he didn’t realize how late it was that he missed me and if I could come. I asked for what and he said to talk. I got my hopes up thinking he was gonna give me answer to thinking about us and giving us a chance. I further asked him what he wanted to talk about and then he became vague. Then I felt like it was just a late night booty call and told him that I wasn’t that type of girl and to not treat me as one. He then continued to ask if I would come over that we could talk but never said what about. He then was like forget it’s a bad idea and maybe we could tomorrow instead. I told him I was busy tomorrow but I’ll see. Tomorrow came and by the evening I texted him like an idiot I feel if he still wanted to talk and he was like it’s not a good idea, I’m sorry. I replied with I guess we know why you really texted last night and he stop replying after that. What do I do now? I want him but then again now I feel like I shouldn’t
Relationship quizzes for women shows that guys can easily recognize women who are stress-free. It is evolution that has trained a man to recognize happy women subconsciously. They also have this innate feeling that a stress-free woman is appealing and sexually attractive. Thus, the merrier you are, the better is the chances of you finding out the perfect partner for yourself.
My ex broke up with me two weeks ago, because of a text I sent him AND he broke up with me over the phone. We have broken up maybe ten times already this year and I am honestly so drained. He is extremely controlling, jealous, possessive, obsessive and verbally and mentally abusive. But HE broke up with me after I put up with all those horrible traits he has. But for some reason, this break up hit me real hard. HEs not the same guy I met in the beginning and I’m starting to think THIS is really who he is. He said he won’t change and that there is nothing wrong with him and that this is all my fault. I have become obsessive like him and I’m feeling so lonely and sad, over someone who once even called me a whore because he has zero trust in me, and I have always been honest and loyal to him. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to get out of the house and do things that I like but I’m feeling a little depressed over it. I don’t know he still has this much power over me. I even called him crying and screaming telling him I’m having a hard time over this break up and I think he’s getting a kick out of it. I feel like he stole my mojo cuz I used to be so tough in the beginning. Now .... I lost my female balls and I feel like I will never find someone again who will love me like he did. But why would I want someone to love me the way he did when clearly it was a toxic love. Any advice on how I can get myself back? I’m more concerned about getting my balls back rather then him. I apologize for the language but this is the best way I can’t describe what I feel. He controlled me so much that even without him I still feel like I’m under his control. Any advice please?!

Men tend to like women who are independent and confident. They prefer the relationship to be interdependent. Interdependence requires both of you to be dependent as well as independent. This means that you create a dedicated space for your friends, work, and passion. You should not lose grip of things that are vital to you. Keep doing what you were doing before you began dating him.
When you go out or have new experiences, take pictures of your new and improved appearance. When you’re doing your favourite things, take a picture. You can also take pictures with your friends. Be happy. Then post on social media like instagram or facebook. This will help you attract new friends too! Your ex may or may not see these photos. Who cares? You’re enjoying yourself and you will attract more like-minded people. But please don’t post too much. Posting once every two days is a good amount to not annoy others while showing your amazing life.
Hi - I've been dating a wonderful woman for over 12 years. For the most part, everything was fine but I took her for granted. I was regularly late, my house was a mess and I wasn't always at my best. Never was physically or mentally abusive. I have two kids, not hers, who she loves and I know they love her. My daughters are now 25 and 18 so they've been part of her life for most of their lives. It's been a long month without her and I'd love to know what I can do to fix things with her. I've tried to give her the 30 days away deal and have tried to stay away from her to give her some time.
If you distrust him simply because your ex-boyfriend cheated on you, then you will be disregarding the good qualities of your present boyfriend. Do not be worried that some mistake on your part is going to make him look for other girls. What happened with your ex wasn’t completely your fault. Your present partner is an absolutely different person and thus, you should never compare him to your past.
Trust me, your friends, your co-workers, your lab partner, your neighbor, and your barista at Starbucks are all sick and tired of hearing about this guy. And deep down inside, you’re probably a little bit tired of talking about him, too. When you focus so much of your attention on one person, you can slowly drive yourself insane. You’ll be constantly thinking about him, replaying your last conversation over and over again in your mind, wondering what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with, and wondering if he’s thinking about you at that exact moment. It’s not healthy, and it definitely won’t get you any closer to being in a relationship.
It’s normal to feel pressure as you watch your friends get married and have children, but remember that every person’s path is different. “You don’t want to settle down with a guy who’s not right for you. Therefore, release the pressure you place on yourself to lock down your next date as your future husband. Take each date one date at a time and have fun,” says Mills.

Perhaps a change in the way you treat her would be good this time around, but give her some space first. Start off slow, but aim to be the patient and loving boyfriend, especially if you know that she has a lot on her plate. Memories with you should be nothing but sweet, which at least gives her an incentive to turn to you after a tough day/stressful week/etc.
Look, we weren’t taught how to build and cultivate happy and healthy relationships in school, but it’s certainly not too late to learn how to develop these skills now! The aforementioned tips are just what you need. They consist of the very best relationship, dating, and lifestyle experts in the world; all of whom possess incredibly esteemed backgrounds and trackrecords of proven success.
In case you feel that you are guilty of overcalling, then you need to take a break and find out if your partner puts in the effort to communicate with you. If he does, then this is certainly happy news for you. If he does not, then you need to move on. You need to be with someone who will want to reach out to you, call you frequently and ask you out.
If you really want your guy to finally commit to being in a relationship, you have to make commitment look like something that will be fun, light and carefree. No guy will agree to being in a relationship with a woman who is always sad, depressed and starting petty arguments with him. So every time the two of you hang out, make sure you’re doing something fun! A friendly bowling match, a round of miniature golf or checking out the latest movie are all fun date ideas that will keep your guy happy and with a smile on his face. Once he associates you with all things fun and easygoing, committing will no longer be something he dreads.
As you have never officially been together, NC may not be the best idea unless the period of 'dating' was long enough and filled with the same amount of memories created as a normal couple would have. I would actually suggest trying to work things out first and communicating whatever you feel across and to assure her about the freedom issue she worries about.
Note also that therapy is virtually always more potent if the couple goes together for some of the sessions. Paulette, after initial reluctance, decided to schedule sessions with Peter's therapist as well.  They sometimes saw the therapist separately, and sometimes together which helped them to recognize and rectify the problematic patterns in their prior interactions.  When both partners participate in a process of growth, the odds zoom up that the outcome will be positive for both of them.  
Me and my exboyfriend have been dating for 10 months, but we had a lot of argument the past 2 months and he basically broke up with me stating that he couldn't get over the fact i wouldn't give up a relationship with a friend i spent a trip with (which nothing happened between us) and that i never loved him back the same way he did nor he felt loved or complete, saying i was unconsidered and ignorant about his feelings. After many discussions on how we could fix our relationship, he decided to give up although i refused to let him go and i insisted to work on us. At the end i couldn't convince him.
It is not just a job for a man to make a woman feel special; women have to make men feel special too. Show your appreciation for things he does such as his DIY projects, when he’s made dinner or a promotion at work. You can take him out for a meal or to the football game every now and again or even do simple things such as give him a ​neck massage after a long hard day at work.
For instance, in the future when he was traveling for business and staying alone in hotels he would plan ahead what to do in the evenings: phone his wife, work on his computer, read, watch his favorite TV shows.  He would NOT go to the hotel bar. If he met people in the lobby, if the acquaintances were women he would speak with them briefly and then say goodbye.  He would go out to dinner only with men friends.  If women joined them, he would not engage in one-on-one conversations with them. Alcohol, private time with women plus loneliness and a disconnected relationship with his wife had been a dangerous combination for him. 

Appreciate that some guys just don't communicate a lot, the same as some women don't. Think about the qualities that you want from a man and question whether this person matches up to what you are looking for. Do not settle for less and do not ever let it make you feel that you are not good enough. If he has asked you to go over, then it may be that he has just been busy and there is nothing more to it. Trust how you feel about it and make your decision from there.
My boyfriend of almost four years broke up with me and I’m so sad. He’s been reaching out to check on me for the first four days and then just dropped off. How would this article apply to my situation? I’m not clinging to the hope of him coming back, but there’s always a chance he’ll miss me and realize what he lost. I’ve been initiating no contact with him.
Risk factor: Medium to high. If he's a jerk, he may look at this as an opportunity for some bed-hopping, single-guy abandon. He may find he likes it better when you're not around and move to make it a permanent condition. If that happens, he's not worth the price of your return ticket. Besides, if you haven't had The Talk, no one's stopping you from staying on an extra week and having that little vacation fling with a lusty young cabana boy. If that's what you want, go for it.
I managed to push him away he has now told me he needs time and space which is killing me inside… We also worked so well together but as soon as we were apart I would think he is cheating on me etc… I now I can see how stupid I was for bringing all the hurt and distrust into this relationship… I just hope I haven’t lost him forever… How are you coping?
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