Allow me to jump in because I have had a great deal of experience with this scenario. I’m a grandmother, a beautiful grandmother and I’m totally head over hills for the man I’m dating. We live in separate states which at first caused great concern. I even broke it off completely. I sensed that the issue was mine – not his – so I jumped right in with both feet to find out what was the “deeper” issue. Come to find out, I had an issue from childhood – anxious attachment – which stems from my mother (I won’t go into all the details here). Needless to say, I had never dealt with this anxious attachment (Google it), and it was surfacing from his pulling away. Once God healed me of this syndrome, I have never had any problem with his, what we call, pulling away. I need my space – he needs his space. I’m so glad this was resolved. Six months later, he sent me a text and we are back together again – probably forever! But, if not, I can move on and wish him the best!
I have a question, more than a comment. I’ve been dating this guy off and on for 4yrs it’s been really hard for him to find a job. He had asked me for some money to fix his car. I asked him to give me the name of exact part that was needed he asked why. I responded and said so I can look for it on line. He said no. Next day I said well whats the game plan, when will you get your car fixed? I suggested I’ll pick you up you can stay at my house, drop me off at work and you can get the part you need. He said no. Finally the next day he said his grandma will let him borrow the money but she expected it back the next day. Well I had agreed to give him the money to pay back, but after thinking about it I decided not to go along with it. Before letting him know I wasn’t willing to give him the money I had asked will you be staying tonight when you come get the money? He said no, but I will this weekend. That’s what drew the line, and I told him he’s either lying or had something else going on that he didn’t want me to know. After all this I was the bad person and he called me every name in the book. I did apologize for what I had done but that he was being very wishy washy and I didn’t understand was he was up too. I did let him know our relationship was over and it was beyond repair. My question is, how do you see this, was I wrong? Was he just using me?
Hi there, I have been reading tons of advice you guys offer to permanently get your ex back and recently me and my ex broke up 1 year and 8 months into the relationship. We broke up because she said that I didn't love myself, which I realize this now because I had so many insecurities that caused the energy between us to go downhill with my jealousy, trust issues, and depression. I realize all of mistakes now but the 1st week after our breakup I was super needy and desperate, I would contact her and make up lies to just see what she was doing and just to talk to her. I have recently started the no contact with her hoping that maybe she will miss me when she is wondering what I am up to. She told me that I need to move on and just do things that I wouldn't be able to do in relationship such as flirt with other girls, go to certain type of parties, talk to my friends constantly and to just have fun period. She says she has faith with us but she has no idea when she will feel ready to go back into a relationship with me. She also said I have to move on and let go and come back when I have a chance, "To let the bird fly away and if it's meant to be then the bird will fly back." I am just worried because from the looks of it she has already moved on, went to three parties already, and I know she is talking to this guy. I accept that she is doing all of this because I know she just wants to have fun because I used to be manipulative and controlling. I know all of my mistakes now and during this no contact period I want to work on myself and love myself. I accept the fact that if my ex don't want to get back together that I shouldn't sweat about it because I will find someone else, but she has made such a huge impact in my life that I just simply choose to be with her. She simply made me happy but I didn't make her happy. What could I do to fix all of this and perhaps start a new relationship in the future. I wont see her for 8 months because I will be in the army then after that I will be attending the same college as her. I hope that by the time I come back she will be single and had the fun she wanted to have so I can talk to her about giving us another chance. Thank you for you time.
The second problem almost all women experience: At some point he starts to lose interest. He doesn’t call you back or he becomes emotionally closed off. He seems like he’s losing interest or pulling away – do you know what to do? If not you’re putting your relationship and the future of your love life in great danger, read this now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
If you have been going around for some time and he, one day, just introduces you very comfortably to his friends saying, “Meet my girlfriend,” it’s a milestone. It means he has accepted you as an integral part of his life. Malini Shah, counselor and psychologist, explains, “Men normally do not want to give instant commitment so when he introduces you as ‘his girlfriend’ means he is comfortable about his friends knowing your importance in his life. They consider their friends’ opinion important. This shows a sense of acceptance for you and a commitment to let the relationship move ahead.”
Hello I can imagine your going through a hard time trying to understand this guy. He’s confusing you because he’s confused himself. He has distanced himself because this is what guys do when they are thinking if they want to be with you or not. This also shows how he doesn’t care much about you and more about himself. He says these things like I miss you and all that stuff to make sure your still around for him as an option but does his words match his actions? If he missed you he woukd see you. Does he see you? No ? Then he’s not telling the truth he’s using words to keep you about for his own ego and loneliness. There’s a way u can find out if he wants to be with you or not and that’s by ignoring him he sends u a msg like I miss you can I talk to u or just hello no mater what his msg says u say nothing. A woman’s silence shows and expresses your hurt more than your anger and words do. This also gives him time to properly miss you and it also stops you looking easy in his eyes men want a challenge they want to chase so give him what he wants and don’t feel bad about it either he hurt you did he care ? Sounds like he didn’t.
This means be honest with yourself: Is there anything in your life right now that could interfere with the success of a new relationship? A common scenario that I see in my practice is a couple will have a whirlwind romance: feel amazing connection, fall in love…but then the guy starts to pull away or blows hot and cold (he’s interested one week and distant the next). And this might go on for some time before the guy finally admits that he’s not ready for a relationship. This is heartbreaking for both of you because it’s really painful to break up after you’ve become deeply bonded.
Understand the breakup. What did each of you do to contribute to the breakup? Most relationship troubles do not crop up unexpectedly, but build up over time. The odds are good that it wasn't a one-sided problem and that there were signs that it was coming. Take some time and do some soul searching before you attempt to get your ex back. You want to make sure you are not wasting your time or energy on something futile.

If you truly believe that your ex should be in your life, then you need to start focusing on the life that you have to offer. You need to love yourself with such ferocity that anybody else’s love is just the cream on the pie. You are your own pie. Once you start thinking of yourself like that, the people around you will notice and he will start to miss you.

As a couple, you may be with each other for a year or three years and when you look back, your best memories are of you both together. The realisation that you have had some of the best times together is a great one. Sawnani says, “It’s a very strange and nice feeling when you realise that even though the quantum of time spent with someone maybe lesser than the time spent with family or others, the contentment is a lot more. We all know that sometimes an hour feels like a minute and sometimes like a whole day... It is when the togetherness moments start becoming important that you take the relationship to the next level.” 6 You visit his house, meet the family When the guy invites you over to his place, it’s a huge milestone. He could also agree to come to your place to meet your family. Inviting you over means he wants to let you into his world and meet his folks. Shah explains, “Meeting your family shows he is serious about you. When he invites you over, he wants his family to see you and expects you to bond with his family. He is making you aware of his home life, traditions, culture, family environment and habits. In short, he is giving you a microscopic view of his own life, his beliefs of family structures and wants to know what you feel about it.”


In addition to the pulling away he is very cruel when he drinks. Calling me horrible names and tries to make me feel beneath him. I know this is huge red flags but love makes us do crazy things. We’re both sexually open minded but he tells me I’m a liar about talking about having another woman intimately. I feel him and I aren’t ready for this. At least I’m not ready. It’s a unhealthy dysfunctional relationship and while he has his faults I know I push him to the limits. (Blowing up how phone etc)
If a man is honest and tells you he does not want a relationship, then as a woman you should honor his truth in telling you this and take a moment to reflect and understand that you may need to pull away. Not to mention, if he also gives you the popular one-liner by saying, “I’m just seeing where things go,” proceed with caution. This is not a committed answer, so why would he want to commit to you? This is just an answer to lure you away from the truth in hopes to keep you around for what he is in search of pleasure and attention.
By keeping an air of mystery about you, your man will become obsessed and will want to get to know everything there is to know about you. Let him know how you expect to be treated without giving him a list of rules of course (that could be awkward!). This works both way remember, you want to please him as much as he wants to please you so learn everything there is to know about him.

There are many, many reasons why someone may choose to explore a reconciliation with their ex. But a lot of the time, those reasons aren’t exactly good. "People often want to get an ex back because they think it will heal the pain they feel in the immediate moment," says Brandy Engler, psychologist and author of The Men On My Couch. "If they were rejected or broken up with, it can be a strong impulse to want that person to accept you in order to heal the wound of rejection." And that, of course, isn’t a good reason to get back together.
I split from my ex after I found out he had cheated. He tried for a year to get me back, doing all the things you listed that just made him completely unattractive to me. Constant texts, begging me to take him back, all that sort of thing. I was adamant it was over. Now he has met somebody else and suddenly I’m gutted and want him back!!! What’s wrong with me? Is this normal? I really thought I was over him.
Hi Sierra. I get the feeling that you didn’t feel secure in this situation in the first place, that maybe there was no real commitment from him in the first place, and because you didn’t feel secure, you weren’t able to be as attuned to him as you could have been. Which is a dangerous situation to be in. The overall feeling I’m getting from your description (which of course is only a snippet of what went on), and from the fact that he felt like you were talking in circles, then he was probably feeling a sense of pushiness… Read more »
Marina is a founder and CEO of NY Socials; New York’s Premier Elite Members-Only Dating Club. She is regarded as a top Matchmaker and Dating Coach in New York.  Her success comes from her belief that dating should be effortless and fun. Therefore, she equips every client with the ability to easily attract a woman of their dreams before introducing them.
If you are in a situation like this, the best thing to do is just be cool about it. Do not give your opinion about their new relationship and let it run its course. Just be cool about the whole thing and try to concentrate on your life rather than theirs. There are a lot of things that you need to do after a breakup and before you can get your ex back. That’s what step 2 is all about.
I dated someone for 2 1/2 years and it suddenly ended last week. He said I’m his best friend and he loves me deeply but there was a disconnect and he isn’t sure why. Said some things from the past concern him and it was time to move forward or let go. He said wasn’t sure if his feelings would come back and it wasn’t fair to him or me. He said he doesn’t have a negative word to describe me and he doesn’t understand it. Said if somethings meant to be it will be. He’s now going to therapy to work through his communication issues and commitment fears. As am I for my self worth.
Furthermore, I want to mention something else that is aligned to this. I have seen several woman date a man and then come back and say “He was so into me in the beginning, he courted me and showered me with gifts, said all the right things, and was so eager to make me his.” But then once this man gets what he wants he moves on, and his actions start to change slowly. I call this type of man “the snake.” Men like this tend to be very narcissistic but also tend to get what they want often. They have a thrill of the chase, and they see a significant reward for their ego when they have won their prize. I always tell women to be VERY careful of a man who is too forward in the beginning. Take your time, and challenge someone who may be extremely forward. So many women fall for a man like this because we are hopeless romantics and you are pretty amazing! So, when you a see a man showing you so much affection and attention it starts to get you to think, “wow he is so different!” Right? Then you play this emotional mind game in your head stating “I would be stupid if I let this go.” I am going to explain further as you read on.
Reason #5. Maybe you read on the internet that you just need some time apart. The negative emotions need to die down. Your ex is angry, and once he stops being angry, he will realize what a mistake he has made. In the meantime you can improve and become a much better version of yourself. Right? Wrong. No 30, 60 or 90 days of no contact or space can heal a broken relationship. Granted, it can make anger dissipate and make people nostalgic. But it cannot fix deep problems in relationships. Most likely the two of you are simply incompatible right now. It will take a lot of experience interacting with other people before you can possibly embark on a new and healthier relationship with your ex. But when that time comes, you may not want your ex-partner back anymore.
There is a notion out there that relationships are hard and filled with struggle. And while I concede that there will be times when disagreements will arise or less than pleasurable situations may happen that need to be dealt with, that’s not the kind of struggle I’m talking about. I’m talking about the notion that there needs to be a tug of war between two people… that you need to try with all your might and then maybe the guy will see the light and come over to your side. Regardless of whether or not you really like a guy, or if he really wants you back,  your interactions are what they are. There’s no fantasy to bring to reality, no wishes and wants to come to fruition… it already is as it is.

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I have been with this boy for almost two years now. I may be judged for putting this out as right now I am 13 going on 14 but I can tell you we have an accual relationship as all adults do. Some things are different of course but the fact that we have been almost two years strong should tell you something. I have been upset lately because I’ve been dealing and doing these things to my boyfriend and this has crossed my mind and I came here for help so I am going to try this out. I hope I can recive some positive comments back of support and advise. Please no judgement for my age. I can honestly tell you, my parents fight and have a less mature relationship at times then we do. I only seek support and advise. Thank you.

My gf of about 3 years and I have broken up "for good" as of 2-3 weeks ago. We've been off and on for those 3 years, mostly due to (unintended) pressure on my part to advance the relationship. We never officially dated, or really called each other gf/bf, despite what I had felt — which shouldn't be a big deal, but didn't help things either. Those things aside, we were best friends, relying on each other for feedback on our work, talked about and were involved with each other's lives, both of us approaching our mid 30s. We found ourselves in a cycle of being together, since being with a friend is easy, then everything coming to a head, breaking up for a time, and drifting back into each other. But we always made each other laugh, we bonded over big and small things, and ... this break has been very difficult for me. We'd said I love you several times. We were highly compatible sexually. But when it came time to talk about the future, she'd put up walls, if she even talked at all. It was strained. She has issues with her parents' divorce when she was young, and her father was manipulative and untrustworthy. I have my own issues with parents who weren't in love, so there was some common ground in some way. I said I understood where she was coming from and suggested going to therapy together toward the end, but it didn't hold.

Use this article as a guideline on what you should be doing, and improve on the areas you were lacking (insecurities, etc) before considering trying anything again. He could be right, but keep in mind that his cheating behavior is still wrong as long as he was in a relationship with you regardless of his reason. He could have expressed and communicated with you regarding what he felt instead of cheating just because he didn't feel satisfied with the sex. Do think about the entire situation and relationship, and decide for yourself whether he is right (about your shortcomings as a reason to break up) or just being unreasonable and finding excuses.


good food for thought dave. my partner is 53 and divorced twice. so having his assetts split twice, and in second marriage time splitting with his son. i commend his bravery for taking the courage to still take the risk for seeking companionship with me. (who has also experienced both divorce once and child access splitting) we reassure each other that our assetts and finances are to remain our own, and up to self choices made for how much is shared towards gifts and/or meals etc neither of us want each other to be in our past experiences ever again,… Read more »
Hi Sierra. I get the feeling that you didn’t feel secure in this situation in the first place, that maybe there was no real commitment from him in the first place, and because you didn’t feel secure, you weren’t able to be as attuned to him as you could have been. Which is a dangerous situation to be in. The overall feeling I’m getting from your description (which of course is only a snippet of what went on), and from the fact that he felt like you were talking in circles, then he was probably feeling a sense of pushiness… Read more »

My ex and I of 4 years had only ever dated each other, neither of us ever dated anyone before we met eachother. I was always satisfied with this and I love her very much, I never saw the need to try new people because I was very happy with her. But 3 years into our relationship she told me she was scared of never experiencing anyone else, and at 4 years, she found herself attracted to one of her guy friends. She decided it would be best for us to break up so she and I could try new people, I believe this decision was also influenced by this friend of hers who is now her new boyfriend. Should I try to get her back or just let things play out as they will (the whole "if it's meant to be than it's meant to be" mentality)? Maybe this is best for the two of us, but at the same I love her a lot and planned on staying with her forever. I don't know if I should try to get her back, or just go out and experience new people and let the cards fall where they will with her and I.
This is absolutely no excuse for you to be cheated on. Your independence is important and if he wanted the attention he should have spoken to you about this before he cheated instead of cheating and then placing blame on you. This is narcissistic behavior and I encourage you to stay strong. If you need further help you can reach out to me for a private coaching session here so I can guide you towards working through this. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2/
When he got back, I told him that I was going to stay the week at my parents house. That I wanted him to spend time at our apartment without me there. I could tell he was starting to feel terrible for how he was treating me. I was being incredibly patient and mature about the whole situation. That Friday night (4/20), I got back to our apartment to see him sitting on the couch. The look on his face said it all. He just couldn’t find the love any more. He cares about me but he could not reciprocate the feelings that I had for him. We talked for an hour, I said everything that I wanted to say. That I love him very much but I understand that I cannot force him to feel a certain way. I asked him why he had been bottling up his feelings of being unappreciated or taken for granted. These were two things that I could help fix and I can’t read minds. He said that he saw how busy I was this winter and didn’t want to add to my plate. Hello.. it takes two to tango.
Have you ever found yourself dating a guy who seems perfect in the beginning, only to find out later that he was a bad choice? Are you having a difficult time finding love? The possibilities are you are taking the wrong steps and are in need of relationship advice for women. You might want to have a romantic relationship with the most perfect person. It is never too late to change the romance stars and bring back love and happiness into your life.
Romance isn’t just about a box of chocolates on Valentine’s Day. A satisfying relationship can also make people feel happy and healthy. But keep in mind that successful relationships aren't just about rainbows and butterflies—a healthy partnership requires communication, respect, and plenty of good habits from both people. So when dating that special someone, avoid stalking their ex on Facebook, keeping feelings bottled up, and splitting the double cheeseburger every night. These (and five other) bad habits could make a great relationship take a turn for the worse.
I don't know what I want. My ex broke my heart 8 months ago after a relationship of 2 years. We were the best friends. After the breakup he had a new girlfriend after 1 month. They broke up 3 months ago because she cheated. He came back to me, wanted all my attention, but I told him I still have feelings for him but I don't want him back. He accepted it but was mad because he thought I had someone new. He went back with the girl who cheated. Then I decided I didn't want him in my life anymore. I blocked him and deleted him on social media. The problem is that we have a common group of friends. Last week he was posting every day a snapchat in the group. Yesterday he send me a message with an artist in and the sentence 'I think you would like this artist.' Today I saw I had a missed facetime-call from him. To his bestfriend he said he regretted the way we broke up and the way we treat eachother the last months.. He is still together with this girl.
Definitely focus on improving yourself first before trying to win her back again. However, since you've been together only for a month there may be a possibility that she would move on so you'll have to prepare for that. Use this as a learning curve on where you're lacking and work on improving yourself, and if you want to win her back after, you should treat it as if you were chasing her for the first time.
It is easy to let go off certain aspects of yourself when you meet someone whom you consider to be the man of your dreams, but you shouldn’t. If you are trying to be someone you are not, you tend to become transparent to your partner. If you prefer reading a book at home instead of going to the football match, then you should not pretend to love Germany just because your guy is a football fan.
Two months ago I met a man. We were so attracted to each other that it all happened so fast, on the first date. He warned me that he didn’t want a relationship… I did my best to listen to his feelings, show understanding and get some intimacy and we eventually got close and started meeting every week. I was sleeping over at his house, we were having good time, having sex, doing normal things like cooking and spending the whole weekend together. I knew he had a very problematic past – a father who never married his mother or took any responsibility, a brother from another mother who caused him problems, personal problems with drugs in the past and two broken relationships with 1) bulimic anorexic girl and 2) a girl who cheated on him 10 months ago. I was so good to listen, give him the peace he needed and be very patient with him.

The best relationship advice I have for men is to understand how important communication is. Problems and cracks can often start to appear between two people when things aren’t being communicated. Often these issues, niggles or situations can be sorted – but only if you are both honest in a way that is respectful to each other. Men should also understand that being listened to is so important for women. If your partner tells you something is bothering them, even if it seems completely unreasonable to you, hear her out and don’t get defensive.
Being away from the love of your life is hard, for both of you. It may be that some days you miss him more than he misses you, this is only natural. The more we progress through life, we start to understand that sometimes the smallest things matter. Although he may not have said how much he misses you and wants to be with you, being in love and in a relationship is much more than simply speaking – it’s about we act too. Be brave and tell him how you feel, he probably feels the exact same way!
This might be as simple as not sharing everything you’re thinking or feeling and avoiding telling him everything that he might want to know…or even what he asks.  Be unpredictable.  Rather than let him get used to your routine, challenge him with new activities and don’t let him become comfortable in your presence.  Remind him this is a date and anything can happen!
I maintained my cool during this time, we text a bit and even had a bit of a flirt but I did text a few times with suggestions to meet up that got ignored. I finally decided i would just ask whether he was still interested but in a very casual way, but got my point across, he apologised saying he’d been manic at work and that his mum wasn’t too well, but that wasn’t an excuse for not being in touch and asked me how i was, what id been up to etc. I replied with a lighthearted message saying i understood. A week then passed and nothing, so i sent another one, a bit more pressing and saying if he was ‘still being useless then fine, but can he meet me for a drink this week’ if not the i guess it’s best to leave things, but either way let me know’ He didn’t read this message for a number of days, then by the 4th day i got angry and sent a message saying ‘ or you could completely ignore me’ he then messaged me back saying he was sorry and being useless wasn’t his intention and that he was working way the previous week and would have struggled to meet me for a drink and that he said ‘sorry to have messed me around’ and hoped my broken foot was better. I replied back with a very lighthearted message also apologising for my behavouir and ended it with some fun chit chat, didnt ask any questions and didn’t suggest meeting up.
Most of us know that men are visual: you are wired that way. My best relationship advice for you is not to be so distracted by looks that you ignore the “character” of your partner (or potential partner.) By character I mean whether the person is kind, considerate, compassionate and loving – and not just when he or she wants something! Is their communication gentle or harsh? How do they ask for what they want? Is it a request or is it a demand?

Answer: Just because dopamine is not being produced naturally, that doesn’t mean you can’t find ways to create it. You have to turn on the heat sometimes to bring the magic back. A relationship takes work, especially in the sex department. Find ways to turn him on and he will be running back into your arms. [Read: 13 spicy sex positions to heat up your bedroom romps]
To improve your self-esteem, concentrate on your strengths in all areas: emotional, social, talents and skills, appearance, and any others that are important to you. For example, you might have natural empathy, the ability to make people feel understood, a talent for baking, and gorgeous hair. Focusing on the positive and ignoring the negative can help you to feel adequate and valuable as an individual, especially when you connect the best parts of yourself to helping others.[9] If you feel useless, make yourself useful! Take your natural empathy and talent for baking and bake some fresh cookies for your elderly neighbors.
This is a great article; really clearly illustrated how women pull away for different reasons. I can think of times when I just wanted some space, and I couldn't understand why my partner couldn't sense this and give it to me. I didn't appreciate that she probably thought there was something wrong and that she could help me feel better. I can also remember times when my partner pulled away and I assumed she just wanted space herself, only to realize later that she was hurt and I should have addressed it.
Peter discovered that if he wanted to talk with his wife, he would get the best results if he asked from a stance of self-respect. He tried asking if she would meet him for coffee. She replied, "Sure!" In fact, the groveling and self-deprecation that Peter had learned as a child were the opposite of what his wife wanted. The more confidently he addressed her, the more positively she responded.
I managed to push him away he has now told me he needs time and space which is killing me inside… We also worked so well together but as soon as we were apart I would think he is cheating on me etc… I now I can see how stupid I was for bringing all the hurt and distrust into this relationship… I just hope I haven’t lost him forever… How are you coping?
Sounds like pie in the sky? Well, according to Shawn Achor, if he knows everything about what factors are impinging on your happiness such as stressors, hassles, successes, economic circumstances, relationships and so on, then he can only predict 10% of your long term happiness. The remaining 90% is how you process the world around you. If happiness is on the other side of success, it is unlikely you will get there as you continually strive to get better grades, higher salaries and so on.
My bf and I ‘ve been together for 1.5 year in a distance relationship but we both had met each other a lot as he come to visit once a year, and now we just break up for 2 weeks ago cuz of he didn’t have enough time for me then i asked him for break up. After that i realise that i love him a lot and i don’t want to lose him but he said we can’t get through this again because he doesn’t have enough time for me , he need to study more. and during we were together we always flight , but i still chat ask him for a chance but he said he can’t do this again. He said he still loves me but he want me to have someone who can fulfil my need. What should i do , should i start to distance from him? But i feel hard cus we are on a distance relationship.
Sometimes the man you’re missing is yours, and you want to stay in his mind. There are many things you can do to ensure he’ll think of you. Have you ever cleaned your room and found an old movie stub or small item and had memories rush back? It’s amazing what a tiny item can do. Make a point of leaving a small memento behind in your man’s car or house. When he sees that earring or hair clip, you’ll come to mind, and he’ll want to see you that much more. DO NOT leave behind a toothbrush or other items that are of an intimate nature because this will surely cause him to panic. Think cute when it comes leaving a little piece of you at his place and he won’t be able to take his mind off of you.

Hi! My boyfriend of just under 1 year broke up with me a few days ago. We were the perfect couple, incredibly similar and always had an amazing time together. However there was one issue that popped up time and time again. He wanted to go out clubbing with his friends, but never wanted me to go with him. I felt incredibly neglected and became insecure because I felt like he didn't want to be around me. This would in turn bring about arguments. We broke up in a friendly way, he told me that this decision was breaking his heart but that he didn't see anything changing because the issue kept coming up. He told me I am the best girlfriend he's ever had, and would definitely miss me, but that his decision was made because due to the fighting, he believed he had lost his feelings for me. Further, he believed our similarity was a bad thing, even though we never had any issues or arguments about anything we ever agreed on. Since we broke up we have been in no contact, apart from the day after we broke up where I phoned him crying and sent him a couple of texts trying to convince him that he'd made a mistake. He is incredibly stubborn and I have this feeling that even if he realised he made a mistake, his stubbornness would stop him from reaching out to me. I want him back, and have realised how my insecurities pushed him away. I'm in the process of following all your steps so that I have the best chance of getting him back, because other than this one issue, we are perfect together. My question now, is after so much reflecting I've realised how I contributed to the break up and learnt how I can fix this if we tried again. So I was considering an "elephant in the room" text to let him know how much I've realised and learnt, but I'm worried about appearing desperate which is not my aim. Should I send him a text outlining what I've discovered, but end it in a way where it shows I'm not expecting a response or a second chance? or should I continue my no contact period?
my bf of a year and i decided to break up cuz we thought it was the healthiest option we had. we were in a long distance relationship and we both have depression. we talk to therapists once a week. he and i work almost everyday so didnt really get to talk to each other.(we also have like 8 hour time difference) we broke up over a phone call, he said that he stills loves me a lot and misses me. he told me to not delete all those pictures on FB cuz he wont as well and wont try to forget about me. i'm moving to Europe in 3 months(he lives in Europe) and he wants to see me when we close the gap. He said we could try to recover the relationship when we see each other and now we just have to give each other some space to work on ourselves and be stable. 4 days after we broke up, he sent me a message out of the blue asking is i was doing okay. i said i was fine and asked him if he wanted to talk. and he said he just wanted know. i know i have to go no contact at least for a month, but this break up doesnt feel like a real break up to me tbh. it just feels like a break. do i still have to go no contact and ignore his messages when he texts me? i wont initiate any contacts tho.
You know something is wrong if you are always crying or feeling bad about what has happened and you can quite get over it.  You also know it can be frustrating when you can seem to figure out what to text or what to say to your ex bf.  Well, the solution is you can join my Private Facebook Support Group and/or pick up your copy of the Texting Bible and get the emotional support and answers your need.
Where did I come up with this? Actually this really happened to me. I was dating a girl and after we broke up I happened to run into her at a Starbucks and even though we had a short friendly conversation I couldn’t take my eyes off of her because she just looked so gorgeous. She looked so good in fact that all I could think was “how in the hell did I let her get away?”
Maybe he texts you a generic, “Hey, how are you?” If he really misses you, he might even call. Or, maybe you text or call (but remember, this is after a period of no contact that lasts at least four weeks). At this point, there are no hard and fast rules to follow. In fact, there are no rules when it comes to dating in general. Remember before when we talked about people putting on deodorant and perfume on to disguise body odor instead of taking a bath first… well, that’s the same as employing rules that don’t align with where you truly are mentally.

In short, when you see that your crush or boyfriend is pulling away, you pull away too. Do not contact him. Concentrate on your own growth, reflect on what you’ve learned from the dynamics of the relationship and move forward with your personal goals. Be clear about your expectations and your needs. If they aren’t met, then move on and see if he’ll ever come around… Because if he doesn’t, I am sure someone else will!

Yes, the argument I’m referring to was everything that was said when I got teary and upset… I couldnt stop talking and trying to find out the reason for my feelings so I kept asking him why he wanted to stop and no answer he gave made me feel better so I kept on saying I just didn’t understand and asking why didn’t he do this, or that. I also told him I felt rejected and he said that was ridiculous, which upset me more…. we ‘talked’, with me getting more and more upset and he said I was talking… Read more »
#4 He is attracted to someone else. If nothing happened and he is suddenly pulling away, then it may be that he is attracted to someone else. If he is thinking about being with another woman, he may be trying to find a way out of the relationship. If you notice that his habits are changing, he is no longer interested in sex, or if he becomes more secretive and rarely spends time with you, then he may have found someone else.
I dont know what to write to him! NC is almost over and he has no social media so he has no idea what I’ve been doing. He also hasn’t contacted me which is okay. I’ve jotted down tons of ideas for my first email to him but I’m very scared. Hes always suspicious of people so I dont want to sound too needy or like I’m trying to use him. He might think if I’m messaging him a month later that I want to use him…hes stubborn as hell as well.
My vibe was affected by stress of school and radiated out into other areas of my life without my realizing…granted my ex never communicated how I was making him feel, but the breakup made me realize what had happened and how i can get those stress levels down and vibe up…I am prepared it is too late…he will never be able to share those vibes. But if he doesn’t hes also missing out because I feel good, a little sad it didn’t work out, but good overall.
Again, this is risky since there is a higher chance of him saying no. However, if you two were really making a lot of progress via texting and you really think he is feeling the same way you are about your current relationship then the “I was in the neighborhood method” may do the trick for you. The obvious advantage is that you get an instant date/meet up!
In short, when you see that your crush or boyfriend is pulling away, you pull away too. Do not contact him. Concentrate on your own growth, reflect on what you’ve learned from the dynamics of the relationship and move forward with your personal goals. Be clear about your expectations and your needs. If they aren’t met, then move on and see if he’ll ever come around… Because if he doesn’t, I am sure someone else will!
Over-thinking the situation will manifest itself into clingy and needy behavior that your guy will sense, and it will definitely turn him off on being in a relationship with you. So try to keep your thoughts to yourself. Don’t be so quick to share every little story with everyone, and remain cool, calm and collected. He’ll probably be so impressed with how laid back you are, that he won’t be able to stop himself from asking you to be his girlfriend.
My ex broke up with me two weeks ago, because of a text I sent him AND he broke up with me over the phone. We have broken up maybe ten times already this year and I am honestly so drained. He is extremely controlling, jealous, possessive, obsessive and verbally and mentally abusive. But HE broke up with me after I put up with all those horrible traits he has. But for some reason, this break up hit me real hard. HEs not the same guy I met in the beginning and I’m starting to think THIS is really who he is. He said he won’t change and that there is nothing wrong with him and that this is all my fault. I have become obsessive like him and I’m feeling so lonely and sad, over someone who once even called me a whore because he has zero trust in me, and I have always been honest and loyal to him. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to get out of the house and do things that I like but I’m feeling a little depressed over it. I don’t know he still has this much power over me. I even called him crying and screaming telling him I’m having a hard time over this break up and I think he’s getting a kick out of it. I feel like he stole my mojo cuz I used to be so tough in the beginning. Now .... I lost my female balls and I feel like I will never find someone again who will love me like he did. But why would I want someone to love me the way he did when clearly it was a toxic love. Any advice on how I can get myself back? I’m more concerned about getting my balls back rather then him. I apologize for the language but this is the best way I can’t describe what I feel. He controlled me so much that even without him I still feel like I’m under his control. Any advice please?!

My first boyfriend actually hated himself and was suicidal, and no matter what I did to support him and how much I loved him, I couldn’t actually make him love himself. And to be honest it ended up affecting me too and with other life circumstances (friendsh*ts, bad relationship with my mom at the time) I got so depressed myself that I also had suicidal thoughts. It was horrible. And it`s been some time and things have changed for me, but I just wanted to say I`ve both seen and learned myself the importance of self love and being committed to ourselves!
Before you try to win your ex back, work on fixing any bad habits you have or mistakes you made that caused you to break up in the first place. Then, ask your ex to hang out as friends and take the opportunity to show them how you’ve changed for the better. Laugh, smile, and be positive when you’re around them. Wait until you've developed a friendship again before having a serious conversation with your ex about getting back together. For more help getting back with your ex, like what to do if they're in a new relationship, read on!
Can you become close friends with your ex? My ex broke up with me but we were best friends. He is with someone new but is still contacting me. I don’t know if it’s just for friendship or does he miss our relationship? He sends me messages about our serie that we watched together, but the conversation is short and not deep at all. I still love him, and I don’t know what to do?
Fake it til you make it should never apply to a relaitonship. Building a relationship especially a commited relationship on a lie is never a good start. If the foundation is shaky, so will the entire relationshiop be. Do not try to use crafty tricks that will make him think twice and stay with you. This means using the age old pregnancy trick wont do. Just be yoursekf and see where that takes you. Maybe you might even be surprised by the outcome more than you had imagined.

We had agreed to always be good friends if we ever broke up and stay close, so after he started talking again I treated him like a close friend and I tried to find out why he'd broken up with me so i could clarify anything id done to upset him. He will not give me a proper reason and I don't know why. He's given me all these really vague hints about how I "have really hurt him" but wont say how, i "don't accept him", something about how I've apparently lied to him (I havent) but he refuses to tell me what I've lied about, says he doesn't trust me "with anything",says we "never made sense" when a month earlier he seemed madly in love with me, says he doesn't have enough time or patience for me (which somehow wasn't much of an issue when we first started dating despite his busy life) and has told me I should be able to figure out the reason myself. I have no idea where this is all coming from and am totally bewildered and so confused what I did wrong.


The barriers facing women in the workforce continue to diminish, yet there are still double standards in many work settings. If you’re both a working professional and a mother, fulfilling your parenting duties and expectations can be a difficult balancing act to achieve. Ideally, the glass ceiling will fully shatter in our near future; but, until then, you need to protect yourself, your family, and your livelihood. This includes limiting how much your personal or family life intrudes upon your work (e.g., the amount of time you take off, or your communications with co-workers), and taking care of yourself to avoid burnout.
Now its been 2 months and we text daily and i did no contact for 2 weeks. However, he doesn't text me as often anymore (30 - 10 hours for a reply), hang out with me, or ask me to hangout with him like it was during our post break up before I went no contact. Now I feel like he has moved on and lost me because he is always with friends and never reaches out to me. Should I move on too or still try to get him back and rebuild what was lost?

You hate cricket but pretend to follow it just for your boyfriend. If this has been going on for months, and one fine day you lose it and scream, “I just hate this game!” Be ready for the guy to scream back that he doesn’t like your chicken biryani (though he loved it last week). Consider this a turning point. Shah explains, “The first phase of the relationship is rosy. The real test is when you start speaking up frankly and that is the phase of acceptance. In this phase, you want the other person to accept you as well as be your own self in different situations. The Reiss Wheel Theory of Love states that the second phase is when the worst in people shows up. Things such as their limitations and how the other person takes it calls whether you want to continue or give up.”


Hello, me and my ex boyfriend recently broke up about a month ago. Currently I am trying the no contact rule, but it's impossible for me not to see him due to the fact we attend the same workplace. Also we share the same close friends, so sometimes when out with friends he's there and at parties, but we never speak at all during them. A few days after the break up, I wrote him a letter appolising and asking if we could be friends (I think this was a bad idea to do this and I got no reply or anything from him). Also I wrote in the letter that I was okay with his decision to break up, but I wasn't. In a few weeks I want to try and contact him and speak as friends. I would prefer to do this via text as he ignores every call, and as soon as he sees me in person he gets as far away as possible. I just don't know want to say to him after this no contact period, or how to get him to want to talk to me. Could you please help me or give me any advice at all. I would really really appreciate it and be really grateful. I would be so so thankful if anyone could help at all. My email is c779912@gmail.com...
None of the articles – or the report about when men pull away – seem to address a man pulling away/refusing to talk or see you after an argument or altercation of some kind. Last week after sex which was really great, he wanted to stop for some reason I’m not sure of, and I got teary and upset. (Looked it up since and it was probably post-coital dysphoria) I was upset and confused and kept asking why he had wanted to stop and said I felt rejected… anyway after about half an hour of me spiralling, confused, he said,… Read more »

Now you might be wondering, how can I fix this and undo the damage? The answer is the same as above, just pull back, give him space, and focus on yourself. Working overtime trying to undo the damage caused by acting needy is still you acting needy. It’s you being desperate for his approval and for his love and affection. Guys hate feeling that sort of pressure from a woman, the feeling that they need to be a certain way or she will get upset.

Hey Ryan, so me and my ex were together for about 1.5 years and things were pretty great... we had the occasional disagreement but for the most part we seemed to be a good match, we traveled out of the country for her first time, went horseback riding, on cruises left each other notes confirming our affection to one another even got back into the church together. Somewhere we hit a rough patch as het best friend of 9 years confessed his love and it caused friction between us because she was not sure what to do with those feelings and it constantly caused arguments because I told her to cut him off which she tried but eventually refused. Funny thing is her parents wanted me to marry her, me and her mom even picked out a ring... she had even gotten off of birth control and we were trying to have a kid but it didn't happen. Eventually we got into an argument about her best friend again and we broke up... now she's dating him and they travel together and seem inseparable. She would still come and see me without him knowing and she said she loved us both but didn't want to lose him but didn't know what to do because she loved me to... she felt as if she was in two relationships but ultimately began spending less time with me and more with him. She is a very pretty girl which makes it harder because she can have her pick of the litter biiut I really care for her and don't really know what to do.... she wanted to meet for a closure outing before moving on which I began no contact at that point and it's been about a week and I've heard nothing from her... not sure how to proceed at this point
Peter also switched from "awfulizing" about his work situation from a stance of helpless victim to taking a problem-solving stance. What could he do to find a more positive work situation? He began networking with others in his field, stumbled on a job that sounded far more suitable, applied, and at this point is looking likely to get the position.  
Some times I want to take this manly-man, guys-guy & shake him & say what the hell is wrong with you?!! (Many people want to do that for me right now.) but instead, I rush to tell him I love him & smother him with kind words & gushy love stuff. And he pulls away even further. Now, I am reminded of how in the beginning I gave this man his space & his time whenever I sensed he needed it, I had no control over it or him anyway, why fight it & push him farther away? I remember a day when he grabbed, pulled me close, kissed me, & thanked me for understanding & giving him his time. I would give anything for that moment to happen again, because it was real, & genuine. He was really happy at that moment & wanted me to know it.
“Many women can confuse sex and sexual desires with a guy’s interest in them. He wants sex, she also wants sex but thinks him wanting sex means there is something more,” says Goldstein. “Explore your sexual boundaries and know where they are and why they’re there.” And, even more importantly, don’t let yourself be pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do just because you want to gain someone’s interest.
Be optimistic; I'm a firm believer that there is someone out there for everyone. Don't subscribe to the belief that you're going to spend forever alone or that true love doesn't exist — it does, it just takes work, which brings me to my last point: Be willing to put in the work. Successful relationships require both partners to put in a lot of effort; if you really love one another, it doesn't feel like work.
A goddess "lives confidence." She may not feel authentically confident but she is smart enough to witness her emotions as they are pop up, recognizing when her insecurities are causing her to take a man's behavior personally. She knows when to feel whatever painful stuff comes up inside her and then does exactly what a confident woman would do — not let his behavior define her self-worth!
Exactly! Also, can we all admit that pulling away really isn’t that normal in strong and solid relationships? Looking back, I realize that my best relationships did not involve a man pulling away from me. Maybe having a day or two to himself for alone time, sure, but pulling away and creating real emotional distant? No…it’s not normal and yes there is a problem…any time that happened to me, another woman was involved.
My story illustrates the power of working on yourself, of being your best self, of being in a happy, settled place before you enter into a relationship. The reason my husband doesn’t know what shifted is that it wasn’t a tangible thing. It was my vibe and my energy. I changed a lot from the beginning of the summer to the end, I did a lot of important inner work and I genuinely loved myself and was happy with my life. That’s the kind of energy that draws people in. That’s what makes people see you in a different light.
Rachel Dack is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC), Nationally Certified Counselor and Relationship Coach, specializing in psychotherapy and dating support services for individuals and couples. Rachel also serves as a Relationship Expert for eHarmony, datingadvice.com, and other dating and relationship advice websites. Learn more about Rachel at RachelDack.com.
Whatever you do, don’t shut your guy down or get defensive every time he has an opinion you don’t agree with. Being in a relationship means that you should both respect each other’s opinions and decisions. How can you ever expect your man to talk to you about his commitment issues when you cry, get upset or go defensive and angry when you or him bring the subject up.

Hey Ryan, so my boyfriend of nearly 2 years just broke up with me about a week and a half ago. During this time last year a similar instance happened. I’m his first serious relationship, the first time he admitted to being overwhelmed and not sure if he wanted to continue or not. Over time we worked things out, he came to me and told me he wanted to be with me. Now again, a year later, and a lease signed for a move in date in November, and we are back to being “done”. This time it was in part because my mental health has taken its toll on me and I let it take its toll on my relationship. Of course, he has his issues too. For the first few days he’d still message me, when he came to see me twice he would ask for hugs, hold and embrace me and ask if I’d been seeing anyone. I’m currently doing no contact starting as of yesterday afternoon. I found out from a friend he was on tinder again. I know guys grieve differently than girls, but of course it still hurts.
His trip changed matters drastically because for the first time in probably a long while, he had 3 weeks of breathing room and time to himself to look back on everything that has happened and realize it was more than he could handle/that he wasn't happy. Often, because we are so involved on a day to day basis, people don't have room to think about the relationship or their personal happiness when they're with their partners most of the time. The moment they are able to disconnect, they suddenly realize how suffocated they were feeling before, and start dreading to go back in. Even though you had already changed before the breakup, he wasn't around to see the change at that point and was still stuck with the perception of how you were before he left. Continue with implementing those changes in your life for now, and give him some breathing room first before reaching out again.

The best study I know is where three groups of depressed people are put on a regime of anti-depressants, exercise or a combination of the two. No surprise to know that all three groups were happier, but did it last? Six months later, the group who had been treated with exercise only, had a very low relapse rate of 9%. The other two groups had relapsed and how! Their rates were ranging from 38% to 31%, so about a third of them were now depressed again.

How you feel with the person you’re with is the best indication of whether you’re with someone who’s compatible or not. How much you want it to work is the worst indicator of a good relationship (in fact, usually the people who tell me how desperately they want something to work are highlighting how incompatible they really are from their partner).
For most of us this is simply impossible and so we try to impose our way of life, expectations and sets of values on our partner when things aren’t going our way. Life throws curve-balls and you don’t always have the time, perspective, serenity and confidence to figure out what you need to do to stay in perfect harmony with your partner; and to maintain a healthy and balanced relationship.
It is normal for you men to want to spend time with their friends to talk about the football and other interests and it is good for him to have an outlet… as should you. Stopping him seeing his friends is never a wise move to make. You man will feel incredibly proud if his friends say how “cool” you are. You can become the “cool” girlfriend by not stopping him from seeing his friends, showing genuine interest in his friends interests and life’s, and having a laugh with them.
I have this guy I’ve been dating off & on for the past 2years but we’ve been back seriously together for 8months now but suddenly few days back he just decide that he can’t go on with the relationship anymore that he feels the relationship lack trust meanwhile I’ve been 100% honest & loyal to him and he’s not get in touch with me since the which I did not aswell buh he watched my whatsapp status evrytime Wich I don’t do to his…..I’m really hurt please what should I do I need your advice??

When you miss a person, it’s a sign that you’re truly emotionally invested in that person; and that their absence in your life isn’t something that you find easy to bear. And if you want to remind your partner of just how significant you are in his life, then this article is for you. There is no denying that there is a certain passion that builds up inside of a person whenever you long to be with your significant other. It’s a lot like the effect of withdrawal that a lot of addicts will go through. When something that you love gets taken away from you, then you get a feeling of incompletion and unfamiliarity.
Wow, the anger. No wonder you may be having relationship issues. It has nothing to do with lying or hiding true feelings. It’s about letting a guy have his space. If you come after me saying how horrible I am etc. etc. I will NEVER want to see you again. Nobody likes that kind of women, and no man wants to date his mother. Also pulling away is not “bad behavior.” Would you rather he spend time with you but verbally and physically abuse you? Bad behavior is if the guy is rude and abusive and mean, etc. Pulling away is a man’s way of saying “Look, I like you a lot, but I really need some time and space to sort things out.” If you can’t accept that not everything is rosy and happy all the time, and that if the man you “love” needs to pull away and you just bark and say “you’re behaving badly,” then you have no reason to be in a relationship.
Kristi Allain is a bestselling author, dating coach, and founder of Nailed It! Coaching, where she helps busy singles bring their best and most authentic selves to the table so that they can find, attract, and keep the partner of their dreams. Visit her site at kristiallain.com for more insightful dating advice, and grab her free Date Idea Handbook with 100+ date ideas at kristiallain.com/date-ideas.
You know that feeling you get when you know something isn’t quite right? If your date can’t answer simple questions about where he works or acts super shady, chances are something weird is going on. “Listen to what your gut is telling you,” says Mills. And that goes for behaviors too. If he’s already getting on your nerves and it’s only the first date that’s another indicator that you’re just not going to work.
Did you know that you can have a direct effect on his testosterone levels? By making him feel respected, admired and manly, his testosterone levels will rise… as will his sex-drive. By making him feel weak and small, his testosterone levels will decrease along with his sex-drive. You want to become the fuel for his testosterone by making him feel loved, respected and needed.
I reconnected with my ex after four years had gone by we been together now for 6 months the relationship has its ups and downs mostly downs we fight a lot but I love him very much and I want it to work between us he has been pulling back to the point were I’m afraid I’m losing him at first he was with me everyday now I barely see him he doesn’t call when he says he will he doesn’t keep his word it hurts so much so at first I poured my heart out to him over n over again trying to get him to see how much I cared and needed him that made it worse the past few days I’m trying to give him his space keep my mouth shut but it’s so hard I feel so neglected !!!!!!! How long should I give him his space before I confront him ???? This is not ok you can’t be so close to someone then suddenly pull away from them leaving them feelings horrible and rejected!!!!
Right now, give him the space he has requested for and spend this time doing what his friend had advised (working on yourself and making changes to your life). You can't control the timing on when he reaches out to you, but the least you could do is show him that you're sincere about making it up to him and have made efforts in taking the first step forward. He may not forgive you entirely, but at least he knows you're sincere about fixing things and may decide to give things another shot.

Wow I can’t believe how much I have written. I just checked and this is getting close to 10,000 words. Ok, we are very close to the end here. This section is all about taking a big risk. More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up. All the experts have a different view of how this should be done. The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now. However, if he didn’t don’t worry, I have a plan for you!

Based on what you’re saying, it doesn’t sound like there’s a good chance at this point of reconciliation due to his negative impression of you. I suggest giving him this year to do no contact and picking yourself up, since you will definitely still see him again when he gets back from his studies abroad. Spend this time working on your issues, so that when you cross paths again, you’d be a different person from who you were a year ago, and which may lead to easier chances of re-igniting the relationship romance.
Throughout the month of March, my other co-workers started to bring their friendship to my attention (which didn’t help my feeling of jealousy). It even went so far as our boss (and friend) pulling him into his office to tell him that it was not ok how much of his free time he was spending with this girl and how bad it looked. In my ex’s eyes, this just made it worse. It is like when you tell a kid not to eat a piece of candy, all they want to do is to then eat the piece of candy. Now, I am not the kind of girl to tell someone who they can and cannot be friends with. But when that person is a good looking single girl who follows you around like a puppy dog and showers you with attention. Yes, that is going to bother me. Especially when she does it in front of you. And yes, it is hard to hold the jealousy back sometimes. He could see that I was uncomfortable. But really, he shouldn’t have put me in the situations in the first place. And still, he made me feel as though it was my fault that I was having these feelings…
Remember, the no contact rule isn’t about him, it’s about you. You’re not cutting off contact to try to spite him, you’re giving yourself time and space to heal from the breakup. That is the goal. The byproduct is that he will most likely miss you during this time and yearn for you and while he’s doing that, you’re becoming a better and stronger version of yourself!
Work to move past your approach anxiety as early in your life as possible. Fortunately, this is a skill that can be easily learned and a good coach will work with you in public to tackle this challenge and build your confidence.  You may wish to challenge yourself to start talking to 2 new people per day and increase your goal by at least 20% each week. Soon you will naturally be engaging with others and see new dating and relationship opportunities landing in your lap.  I would also practice what to say to a woman who is being rude.  Stay classy and be articulate when confronting her behavior.

The worst thing you can do in a deal is seem desperate to make it. Leverage is your biggest strength – it means having something the other person wants or can’t do without. She decides it’s in her best interest to commit. Most people don’t want to “brag”. I say do it. BRAG! Don’t be afraid to talk about your good qualities and what you have to bring to a relationship. If you don’t tell her then who will?

He would definitely like the 'new' you because he gets to have sex with you but doesn't have to deal with the emotional aspect that would follow from a typical relationship, and you would also end up becoming a safe zone to run to whenever he has issues with his current girlfriend. Keep in mind that this 'new' you isn't a permanent one, and I would strongly recommend not lowering your standards anymore by simply giving him whatever he wants and being emotionally there for him all the time while he is still with someone else and can't fully commit back to you.
Risk factor: Medium to high. If he's a jerk, he may look at this as an opportunity for some bed-hopping, single-guy abandon. He may find he likes it better when you're not around and move to make it a permanent condition. If that happens, he's not worth the price of your return ticket. Besides, if you haven't had The Talk, no one's stopping you from staying on an extra week and having that little vacation fling with a lusty young cabana boy. If that's what you want, go for it.

But sometimes filling your life with positive things is not enough. In fact, having a good vibe isn’t really about having the things you love around you or trying to imprint the idea that you feel good into your mind. It’s more about removing the self-destructive, negative thinking (and the behavior that the negative thinking creates) – i.e. changing the lens that you see the world yourself and your situations through.
Your girlfriend wants to know that you have eyes for her only.  She needs to know why you chose to be with her.  And she wants to see that you will be loyal to her.  Most woman worry that you will tire of them, move on or become unfaithful.  By expressing why you are with her, she will feel more secure in the relationship and that you are not going anywhere.
Avoid forcing yourself to believe that he is nice guy and hasn’t done anything wrong, which is why you should continue being with him. This is like convincing yourself of something that probably isn’t right. The bottom line is that you need to be in a relationship where you feel happy and respected. You should feel good without him, but even better when you are with him.
Finally, both partners and spouses have to ‘know their role.’  Either the man should be the ‘Alpha’ (i.e., the spouse or partner who is dominate and generally leads the relationship), while the woman is the ‘Beta’ (i.e., the more agreeable, deferential, and submissive partner) … or, if both companions feel like the marriage or relationship would work better if the woman was the ‘Alpha’ and the man was the ‘Beta,’ so be it.  Either, or.

 Change up your look. Making small changes to your hair or wardrobe can have a huge impact on your overall confidence and make you feel good about yourself. In fact, tweaking your external appearance can, amazingly, inspire the courage you need to make more substantial changes. Something as simple as honing your personal style can eventually lead to actions and choices that can improve your energy, satisfaction, and joy in life. Investing time and energy in making small improvements to your outer appearance makes you feel joyful, confident, and entirely yourself and will only lead to good things.
That being said, and long story short, my temper got the better of me when I started feeling neglected... again. I’m not proud of this, I am ashamed. I acted the same way I would act before. I was so certain I had left that part go during no contact. I know the whole point of no contact period is to work on myself and I did! I swear. Apparently it wasn’t enough? I’m not sure. But after being affectionate, cuddling, sex, the openness of sharing everything, to all of a sudden seeing her so distant again, I guess I just panicked. She was as she was when we were about to break up. NO EXCUSES. I fucked up, plain and simple.
a lack of respect on either side. If you or your ex call each other names, belittle each other's accomplishments, or say disparaging things about one another to your family or friends, then there is no respect in that relationship. These are all features of an emotionally abusive relationship.[20] Find someone who shows you the respect you deserve, and commit to treating him or her with respect as well.
My live in boyfriend of 5 in a half years has pulled away after I became preganant and it was a planned pregnancy. He says he wants space to reflect on our relationship but still wants to work things out and is going to make an appointment with a therapist. Should I give him this space and back off? I find this situation difficult because I feel alone during my pregnancy. He also started seeing someone else just a few days of me moving out. Should I just give up on him? I still love him.
It's common that someone continues to love a person even though they're no longer in love. It simply means that the passionate feelings she might have once had for you has started to fade, but it doesn't mean that she's stopped caring about you altogether (which is why she still shows care and concern). I suggest figuring out what went wrong and where she started to lose her spark for you and see if you are able to re-ignite that spark again.
My ex girlfriend and I broke up about 6 weeks ago. From there all I had done was being needy and desperate. She would block me and unblock me and all I did was just like a fool was just beg and plead. Honestly I've understood the reason of the break up and I've accepted it and I understand how much I messed up... especially since I was sending her a message that I couldn't change. If you must know I am very confident and I know I can get her back if I do things correctly. We haven't talked in 2 weeks. and since then I've been working on myself and taking my time to understand my mistakes so i could learn from them. I know that she blocked me because i pressured her in such a bad way that led her to that choice and I know understand all my mistakes. I'm a very confident guy know but my question is how should I approach her. I really cannot connect her because she fully blocked me and i don't know if she wants to talk to me because i don't know wether she wants that or not. Now for the past few days she's been looking kind of sad since we haven't talked and she's been kind of starring at me and she also started to follow me ( trying to get my attention in a way) but also she's been trying to act like if she's the one in control and she doesn't really get affected so that kind of leads me to ask you guys What should I do at this point and also why is she trying to get my attention if she acts all so tough like if she's holding all the cards?

If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.

Connect with your inner guidance and explore what you truly want for your life, and relationship. Believe you deserve to be with someone who loves you for who you are. Set boundaries and be assertive. Learn to say no to what you don’t want, so you can welcome that which you do want. Learn about Universal Laws to support and nurture your chosen path. Pay attention to what shows up for you. Keep growing and never give up.


There are many, many reasons why someone may choose to explore a reconciliation with their ex. But a lot of the time, those reasons aren’t exactly good. "People often want to get an ex back because they think it will heal the pain they feel in the immediate moment," says Brandy Engler, psychologist and author of The Men On My Couch. "If they were rejected or broken up with, it can be a strong impulse to want that person to accept you in order to heal the wound of rejection." And that, of course, isn’t a good reason to get back together.
So I’d like to preface this by saying I’m a woman and my ex-fiancée is a woman as well. I do find most of this page to apply, but it is challenging having two women with all of that emotion and overthinking. I’ve finished with the no contact period after my ex broke up with me, and contacted her with my “elephant in the room” message. I know she’s in the “missing phase” from texts she’s sent me, and thought it was the perfect time to send it. I am in a good place and am feeling more positive every day. I was prepared for the possibility of her responding, and how to close the conversation before giving her a few days of digestion. However, I was not prepared for her response. My message included: an apology for my behavior after the breakup, that I accepted the breakup and think it was for the best, and my positive change. Her response was “I’m glad you’re doing well. I’m not.” I’m thrown off by this, because I’m almost worried that she’s under the impression I’m moving on (although I never said anything of the sort), and she seems almost upset at my message. I’m unsure on how to respond to this- hoping you can offer me some advice. I could be totally overthinking this, but we were together for five years and I know her very well and can decipher texts. But now that we’re broken up, I could just be analyzing too much. Please help! I really don’t want to screw this up :)
@ Jackie if a guy ever tell you to STOP calling/texting him give him just what he asking you for which is no contact It seems to me he got what he wanted sex from you and was No longer interested in anything other that. I know as a woman it hurts to be treated like that it happens but learn from it, next time take more time to get a real feeling of what a guy true intentions are in my opinion 1 month is too soon to give a guy your precious body too he obviously has moved on and so should you. Keep in mind he may reappear but you have to be a Strong woman and not go back to his way of treating you distancing himself from you be more available for the right guy to come into your life. Forgive him and dont look back go on with your life.
I listen to your Video. ..How to Make Him miss you. I really wish I would have listen to your video before hand I did everything wrong because I wasnt aware. Well low and behold he broke up with me and it hurt pretty badly for 4months. I can see in his eyes it hurt him to do that. We both had strong feelings for each other and the Love making was on the top of the chart. Ive learned alot from now to then. He’s back in my Life and I truly Love him as if he never left were able to pick up from where we left off. I want this to work with him forever. I want him to be my last relationship.
Answer: Cut him loose. If you think that he’s cheating on you or is interested in someone else, don’t pursue him. If you take the time to step back and he doesn’t show any effort to reel you back in, then, either way, it wasn’t meant to be. If you think that he’s attracted to another woman, find someone who will be fully committed to loving you. [Read: Should you ever forgive a cheating partner?]
It's best to admit your mistakes. You'll need to forgive yourself for your part in the breakup, then move forward to seek his forgiveness. If you lose your temper and say things you don't mean, pull yourself together as quickly possible and apologize sincerely. There is nothing weak or demeaning about apologizing. On the contrary, it shows strength and good character. But when you apologize, be sure you mean it. A disingenuous apology is worse than no apology.
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