First off… Why are you starting off your conversation by saying if he needs me to do things for him. You do them? It should be the other way around. A man should cherish you and should chase you. You shouldn’t be chasing him. A real man would never let a woman chase him. We are good at letting men chase us before we get attached. Once we become attached we become pathetic little puppies. You need to unattach yourself from him. Show him you don’t need him to live your life. Before you met him you were perfectly fine. Also if someone cares about you they would not leave you high and dry like that and drop off the face of the earth.

Note also that therapy is virtually always more potent if the couple goes together for some of the sessions. Paulette, after initial reluctance, decided to schedule sessions with Peter's therapist as well.  They sometimes saw the therapist separately, and sometimes together which helped them to recognize and rectify the problematic patterns in their prior interactions.  When both partners participate in a process of growth, the odds zoom up that the outcome will be positive for both of them.  
Note also that therapy is virtually always more potent if the couple goes together for some of the sessions. Paulette, after initial reluctance, decided to schedule sessions with Peter's therapist as well.  They sometimes saw the therapist separately, and sometimes together which helped them to recognize and rectify the problematic patterns in their prior interactions.  When both partners participate in a process of growth, the odds zoom up that the outcome will be positive for both of them.  
Most pre-teen boys, though not yet sprouting facial hair, somehow have the uncanny ability to nail down every last detail of their dream vehicle.  Could it go from zero to sixty in three seconds flat?  Would it have 4, 6, or 8 cylinders?  How about those coveted rims, 4 wheel lift, doors, panels, and hardware?  The list is as endless as the options are available.
It is possible to work to reprogram your brain or change certain beliefs. If you are severely lacking confidence in yourself and your ability to prove to your ex and that you can make them happy; try doing one of my favorite self-help exercise; write down in the present tense something on a yellow sticky that you are hoping to accomplish as if you had already achieved your goal.

Simply, wear your signature scent whenever you meet your boyfriend so that slowly he will start recognizing you with that smell. As much as possible, use the top quality brand of perfume, shampoo, or lotion. Just imagine yourself resting on his shoulder or chest, and leaving behind your beautiful scent on his body, this will leave him thinking about you every time he smells something even faintly similar.


You may want to actually have a good idea on what you’re talking about before making conclusions about people. One of the things Eric stresses in many of his articles is that a woman needs to be happy with her own life and love herself before she can truly be happy in a relationship. He also points out that if a woman is happy on her own, she will attract love and that it is then up to her to decide if a man is right for her. Kinda sounds like she’s the one in control of her own happiness. How is that sexist? In order to learn, you need to read the entire articles, not just pick out the parts that you can twist into being offensive. However, it’s quite clear that you have some serious anger issues towards men, in which case, how can you possibly expect to be in a happy relationship with one?
We human beings have a built in radar.  We pick up on body language and we also use our intuition.  We all have it…men and women.  In this case, these women are simply picking up on his lack of authenticity.  He’s not truly being himself.  He’s approaching these women from an energy of “what can I get away with?”  And these women intuitively know it.  We would typically call a guy like this a “player” however, another way to look at it is that he is not behaving in alignment with who he is inside and, what he is really wanting is an activity partner because it is safe.  He doesn’t want a relationship simply because he is not yet ready to let some of his walls down.
It may be cliché, but a new makeover will do wonders to make him miss you. This is especially effective if the man you’re missing is an ex. Maybe you get a new haircut, treat yourself to a new make-up look at the mall, or sport a sexy, new outfit. Not only will the new look make you feel great about yourself, you will have that special someone want you back. Make sure that you go somewhere you know that he’ll be to show off the new you. If he sees you looking great it’s going to make him start thinking of you and wanting to be closer to you. This will work especially well if you’re getting attention from others around you guys. Of course if you aren't into getting a full on makeover then try a new hairstyle or switch up your usual lipstick color. This will get him thinking about how much you've moved on.
I might feel a bit regret for loving him that i feel heartbroken now..But whatever it is, the days we spent together was really one of the happiest moment in my life so i never regretted every moment of it. Bad news is, i find it hard to move on.. like seriously am i obsessed with him now? it feels like hopes are there you know, and its not giving up. i just wanted to talk to him. A single hey from him would make my year, but it seems like impossible. *sigh* life…

Italiano: Riconquistare la Tua Ex, Português: Conseguir Seu ou Sua Ex de Volta, Deutsch: Deine Ex zurück gewinnen, Français: reconquérir son ex, Русский: вернуть своего бывшего, 中文: 与你的前男友或前女友重新开始, Nederlands: Je ex terugwinnen, Čeština: Jak získat svoji bývalou dívku zpět, Español: recuperar a tu ex, 日本語: 別れた恋人とよりを戻す, Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Mantan Pacar Anda Kembali, العربية: استعادة شريكك السابق, ไทย: ได้แฟนเก่ากลับมา, Tiếng Việt: Giành lại người yêu cũ, 한국어: 전 애인과 다시 결합하는 방법, हिन्दी: अपने एक्स को वापस पायें


So as much as you want him to open up and think he “should,” you can’t demand it of him. The best thing to do is back off and give him some space. Spend that time focusing on yourself instead of worrying why he’s pulling away from you and what to do about it. Work on recharging your batteries so that you can put positive juice into the relationship.
Hello Adam. Thanks for offering such an exciting post and video. You’ve HIT the nail on the head! From my experience, yes, men totally enjoy their SPACE and we should make sure they get it. Respect his space and have him respect yours. Confident women with a touch of mystery and charm will most likely excite men to pursue and return again and again. I enjoy spontaneity and time spent exclusively enjoying my own range of soothing pleasures. First enjoy loving yourself – having a massage, facial, pedicure, and or just spending time at favorite events with other special friends and family. SPACE can make the relationship exciting!
I am going to warn you now.  You will be possessed by this intense desire to contact him.  If only you could talk to him, you think, you would just explain everything and all would be forgotten.  Well, it seldom works that way.  Chances are your efforts will be ignored which will just make you feel worse.  Or you will successfully reach your ex boyfriend and he and you will end up having a heated or disappointing conversation, leaving you feeling bad and rejected yet again.  It’s almost always a no win situation because neither one of you are well equipped right now to deal with your emotional states.  So just cool your heels and keep reading!

I have been wondering how to make him love me again, realise he made a mistake and give a second chance. It is even harder as he is in another country. Plus, I really don’t think the NC rule would work on him, because I have been the one who asks question in our relationship, who kept the conversation going when we lived apart for a few weeks. I believe if i implement it now, it will just give him the opportunity to move on, to forget me, because he has a lot going on otherwise (studies, friends, handball, parties…). Did i also ruin my chances by begging for it so much?
When he got back, I told him that I was going to stay the week at my parents house. That I wanted him to spend time at our apartment without me there. I could tell he was starting to feel terrible for how he was treating me. I was being incredibly patient and mature about the whole situation. That Friday night (4/20), I got back to our apartment to see him sitting on the couch. The look on his face said it all. He just couldn’t find the love any more. He cares about me but he could not reciprocate the feelings that I had for him. We talked for an hour, I said everything that I wanted to say. That I love him very much but I understand that I cannot force him to feel a certain way. I asked him why he had been bottling up his feelings of being unappreciated or taken for granted. These were two things that I could help fix and I can’t read minds. He said that he saw how busy I was this winter and didn’t want to add to my plate. Hello.. it takes two to tango.
When you’re dating you can check to see if your values are aligned, but once you are in a committed relationship it can take some information, new skills and practice to co-create a loving partnership. As a relationship coach I help my clients look at the big picture: to feel truly heard and to understand the other. I think the key here is “partnership” which allows each person to be respected and to contribute to the greater good of the relationship and to the world. We have no models for healthy relationships so most people are building the plane as they’re flying it!
First off… Why are you starting off your conversation by saying if he needs me to do things for him. You do them? It should be the other way around. A man should cherish you and should chase you. You shouldn’t be chasing him. A real man would never let a woman chase him. We are good at letting men chase us before we get attached. Once we become attached we become pathetic little puppies. You need to unattach yourself from him. Show him you don’t need him to live your life. Before you met him you were perfectly fine. Also if someone cares about you they would not leave you high and dry like that and drop off the face of the earth.
Hi! Last month, my boyfriend of 2 years moved out of state to finish his last year of school. We agreed to make an LDR work. It was hard, but we had so many trips planned to visit each other and were madly in love - a year apart didn’t seem that bad. He began struggling with depression. Last week he broke up with me, asking for space to get the help he needs. He told me that he was 100% sure he’d be back for me when he was ready, and made multiple remarks about me being his future wife. I felt at peace - we had a kind and mutual breakup, and there was hope for a future. Four days later he has found a brand new girl and is proudly flaunting her on social media. I kindly confronted him about it, and he ignored me. I then blocked him on social media (not wanting to see them happy), and now he is angry. Why would he promise a future with me, if he has her? Why is he angry at me for blocking him? What do I do? I miss him, and it kills me to see him so happy with her.
The male brain, too, needs understanding. Men typically associate the role of provider with a sense of accomplishment and self-worth. If you’re a female family breadwinner in a traditional relationship, this aspect can prove challenging. It’s important to support the male ego and recognize your partner’s contributions and efforts financially, as well as through direct and social appreciation. Involve your male partner in financial decisions to build self esteem and encourageequal decision-making, and get to know what makes your partner tick so that you can be responsive to his unique personality needs. Finally, recognize him as a partner in your success, regardless of income, as you both work together to support common goals and objectives.
we had no contact for about 2-3 months and since it's approaching his birthday again this year, i contacted him through our mutual friend to do a catch up. we agreed to hang out, him, our mutual friend and me, the 2 of us for the weekend. an afternoon around the city, for a swim/hike, dinner and drinks at the club and lunch the next day before i head back home.
"I can see now," Peter explained to her, "that in my depression about work I became totally self-centered. I withdrew from you, so no wonder you felt angry and distanced from me. As both of us withdrew from each other we lost our sexual connection.  I felt desparate for attention.  Then I took the ultimate wrong turn by seeking sexual attention from an infidelity. Big mistake!  I'm so glad that now I'm looking for a job that will be a better fit for me. I think I've found one, and I'm thrilled at the prospect."  
Remember, the no contact rule isn’t about him, it’s about you. You’re not cutting off contact to try to spite him, you’re giving yourself time and space to heal from the breakup. That is the goal. The byproduct is that he will most likely miss you during this time and yearn for you and while he’s doing that, you’re becoming a better and stronger version of yourself!

Hi Rosie! I love the way you talk (“I don’t want to talk to him from a place of blame but one of giving and what I want to give is my confidence, mysetry, joy and best self and love myself completely so I can give them my best self”). I couldn’t say it better myself! Make sure you have a good blueprint to work from, so if you have not picked up a copy of my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, you should do so. (i.e. website Menu/Products link).. It is massive and covers so much…in so much detail. Kinda like a Companion Guide that helps you along the way and optimizes one’s chances. I think you have very good understanding of the No Contact Principle. Maybe since things ended in an arguement, you make a little exception to the NC rule and reach out just give him a heads up that you are progressing thru your own self discovery process and just wanted him to know you appreciate him recommending that the two of you take some space (even if he didn’t recommend it). So what you accomplish is a little connection so he knows that he is not far from your mind and you are working to be the best version of yourself. That may be intriguing to him and enhance “your” value in his mind.
Familiarity leads to fights and all couples have fights — nasty ones with abuses and allegations. There is something to be learnt about your relationship after the fight. When a couple makes up after a fight, it shows that the partners want to resolve issues and continue. Clinical psychologist Saloni Sawnani says, “What makes these relationships strong for a lifetime is that no matter how major the argument there is always resolution and compromise. When the same happens in your relationship a sense of permanency sets in. Then you can be quite certain it is for keeps.”

Italiano: Riconquistare la Tua Ex, Português: Conseguir Seu ou Sua Ex de Volta, Deutsch: Deine Ex zurück gewinnen, Français: reconquérir son ex, Русский: вернуть своего бывшего, 中文: 与你的前男友或前女友重新开始, Nederlands: Je ex terugwinnen, Čeština: Jak získat svoji bývalou dívku zpět, Español: recuperar a tu ex, 日本語: 別れた恋人とよりを戻す, Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Mantan Pacar Anda Kembali, العربية: استعادة شريكك السابق, ไทย: ได้แฟนเก่ากลับมา, Tiếng Việt: Giành lại người yêu cũ, 한국어: 전 애인과 다시 결합하는 방법, हिन्दी: अपने एक्स को वापस पायें


The important thing to remember is working on yourself is the most valuable step in this process. Whether you decide to take your ex back or not after this process is entirely up to you. Either way, you would have done the work to become a better person. And being happy and whole is a strong foundation for love anyway… whether it’s with your ex or someone else.
And that’s it. You don’t ask him for anything. You also continue dating other men until you have the commitment that makes you happy. I know this is hard, but trust me when I say you are doing the best thing you possibly can to ensure your happiness. No man should ever feel like he’s your man of choice, he’s your “One,” or that you’re only seeing him. Not until he’s committed.
You need a bit of mystery to get him to miss you, this is something not to forget. If you’re an avid social media user, don’t update your status too frequently, limit the number of pictures you share, and pause on the Facebook quizzes for the time being. Or if you want to take a Facebook quiz go ahead but just don't share the results, as that can be very annoying for anyone on your newsfeed. Additionally, don’t interact with your special guy on social media. If he posts a status or picture, don’t comment or even like the post. Did he share a story on Snapchat? Resist viewing it. Maintain the image that you’re too busy to obsess about his social media activity. It could be hard to do because he looks so cute in his latest Insta photo but you’ll have to be strong. Resist him now and he’ll be yours later!
Hey Chris! My boyfriend of 3 years recently broke up with me – one week ago, I have followed the no contact rule (surprisingly, I hadn’t read anything on it yet!). He ended the relationship out of the blue, we sometimes fought but it never seemed relationship ending bad (really it was petty things). He said he still loved me, otherwise breaking up wouldn’t hurt so bad. He had come late at night to tell me, we both sobbed, and I asked him to leave. The next day he came to take our cat for a spay, I went with him to drop her off and we went for a walk. I suggested a break instead, because he said he had been feeling a lot of emotions and initially taking all the blame. I expressed my side and apologized for my faults. It ended well and he even agreed to a break starting in may and lasting until June. I offered a mini date night for the day before may just to have a good time and start the break on a happy note. We went to dinner and had a good time, it was a little awkward but we stayed away from talking about the negative aspects of our struggles. I had picked him up so when I dropped him off he said he was sorry but he didn’t want a break, he wanted to breakup. He needed time to heal (from what I still wasn’t entirely sure of), and he needed “space”. Looking back the breakup was very cliche “it’s me not you” ( he said he was sorry for not communicating better and that I deserved someone who could give me what I want) but after I opened up and took responsibility for my actions, he suddenly put the blame on me! Him and my mom were close and after the breakup he confided in her and brought back issues I had never heard of FROM 6 MONTHS AGO! I have been devastated…. he did something similar( ghosted) with his last girlfriend, actually he moved to California and broke up with her over the phone after he was already gone). We had made plans to get married, we have the same career goals, he even gave me a rather expensive promise ring. I’m very lost with how to approach him after our 30 day no contact. P.S. I am very close with his family and vice versa (I even work with his sister!)…. I do plan to get your guide, but what advice can you give me for some insight into his mind, and whether our relationship has a chance of being saved?

But going through difficulties is what gets us in touch with who we are and what we’re made of. This sort of growth and self-discovery is invaluable. Breaking through that feeling of “I won’t be able to survive without him” and then discovering that you can will make you realize how strong you are, and as a result, will help build your self-esteem and give you that amazing “I can get through anything” feeling.
In helping men and women through issues in their relationships for nearly two decades, I have learned to appreciate that there are significant differences between the sexes. Men tend to get frustrated and dismissive toward women if they cannot quickly resolve their issues. A woman needs to connect and share what’s on her mind as part of letting go of things that are affecting her emotionally. A woman wants to vent and process her feelings. This is part of her makeup and fulfills her emotional needs. Men need to recognize this and be patient.
Having found the love of her life in the early days of online dating. Lisa Shield became one of the first— and foremost—dating and relationship coaches in the nation. Over the years she has helped thousands of couples and singles find true love through a unique approach she calls “Naked” Dating & Relationships. She is currently finishing her book,”Naked Dating®” which is slated for release in 2016. Check out her site lisashield.com.
Now, I know that is easier said than done. Accepting “what is” requires putting down your judgments and assessment of things as good or bad. And, that can be extremely difficult to do especially when society has trained us from birth to call certain things good, righteous, and desirable and other things bad, wrong, or detestable – and has also taught us that being in a romantic relationship is the most noteworthy human accomplishment.

There are many, many reasons why someone may choose to explore a reconciliation with their ex. But a lot of the time, those reasons aren’t exactly good. "People often want to get an ex back because they think it will heal the pain they feel in the immediate moment," says Brandy Engler, psychologist and author of The Men On My Couch. "If they were rejected or broken up with, it can be a strong impulse to want that person to accept you in order to heal the wound of rejection." And that, of course, isn’t a good reason to get back together.


Ok so me and my ex broke up 4 months ago. I did 35 days of no contact and she tried to text me 4 times during that time. Eventually her best friend texted me and told me that my ex was really upset and missed me so the next time my ex tried to contact me I responded. She said sorry for ending our relationship and that she wanted things to go back to the way they were before. However, she did not explicitly say that she wanted us to get back together. I chose to doubt that, but I wanted to get back together so I forgave her and we have been in constant contact for 2 months texting every day for at least an hour and she seems closer in person than she did before. Recently I learned that her best friend told my ex that I was trying to get back together with her, but she has been acting the same if not closer than before. Should I take this as a sign that she does want to get back together or should I still try to find out more?
My ex cheated on me a few months ago. I stayed with him because I love him. I have all guy friends and a lot have fancied me and make jokes and stuff about it. My ex said he doesn’t like it and me sending them hearts. So I stopped. So clearly jealous but he knows I never liked any of them that way. He moved to Germany and things ended. Blah blah blah a lot happened and I annoyed after the break up. But he told someone that he can’t stand me. When they asked why he said I CHEATED ON HIM WHICH I NEVER DID. Why would he do this????
A huge obstacle to getting your ex back is fixating on the relationship, pining for what was lost, and wishing things would be different. Not only is it an obstacle to getting the relationship you want, it is an obstacle to your own sense of peace. Think about it. Most suffering arises from wanting the present moment or present situation to be different than what it is.
When you’re dating you can check to see if your values are aligned, but once you are in a committed relationship it can take some information, new skills and practice to co-create a loving partnership. As a relationship coach I help my clients look at the big picture: to feel truly heard and to understand the other. I think the key here is “partnership” which allows each person to be respected and to contribute to the greater good of the relationship and to the world. We have no models for healthy relationships so most people are building the plane as they’re flying it!
WOW! WOW! WOW! Guys, seriously this article should be preached (especially the fourteenth one haha). My boyfriend and I are together for two years now and he’s taking me to prom this year. So excited I’m gonna pass out!!! He’s a pretty tough guy and you gotta have patience with him, but he sure knows how to pull some romance tricks on me like flowers before school or my biggest addiction – chocolate. And now I can pay him back.
Hi! Last month, my boyfriend of 2 years moved out of state to finish his last year of school. We agreed to make an LDR work. It was hard, but we had so many trips planned to visit each other and were madly in love - a year apart didn’t seem that bad. He began struggling with depression. Last week he broke up with me, asking for space to get the help he needs. He told me that he was 100% sure he’d be back for me when he was ready, and made multiple remarks about me being his future wife. I felt at peace - we had a kind and mutual breakup, and there was hope for a future. Four days later he has found a brand new girl and is proudly flaunting her on social media. I kindly confronted him about it, and he ignored me. I then blocked him on social media (not wanting to see them happy), and now he is angry. Why would he promise a future with me, if he has her? Why is he angry at me for blocking him? What do I do? I miss him, and it kills me to see him so happy with her.
So stop over-explaining every little thing, stop sharing all of your childhood stories with him, and don’t let him know what you’re doing at all hours of the day. Keep some things to yourself, and it will make him even more curious about who you really are. He will subconsciously know that in order to peel back all of your layers, he needs to take the next step and ask you for exclusivity.
Hi, so like so many others my boyfriend just broke up with me 3 days ago. My mind is definetly in the overreacting stage. We’d been going out for 8 months and honestly it was fantastic, I’ve never felt like somebody loved me as much as he did. I would wake up to “good morning, just a quick reminder that I love you” texts every now and then, and we never really left the honeymoon phase. So 4 weeks ago I went on holiday and he called me saying he missed me and when I got back he seemed very genuine in the missing me and loving me. Last time I saw him 2 weeks ago everything was as normal, very loving to each other, but just kinda curled up on the couch because I had some period pain. I apologised for not really doing anything with him that day and he said “I just feel weightless holding you and being with you, don’t worry.” The next week he began phasing me out over text (usually we would message everyday) until a week ago he shut me out completely saying he had family and work issues. I finally break his silence and he comes over and breaks up with me. He told me that it had been on his mind constantly for the past 2 weeks and everyone said noticed the anxiety change in him. He said he couldn’t sleep because he didn’t know what to do. When I asked why he said it was just all in his head and he couldn’t get it out. He said that it was him and not me and thanked me for being the best girlfriend he’s ever had... all the time he seemed emotionless and hugged me loosely. I was/am devestated, from my point of view nothing happened or changed and he was extremely out of character. Even his friends and family messaged me after saying how shocked they were and asking how I was. Of course I want him to come back and say it was a mistake but I don’t know if he will. I havnt contacted him since but his best friend wants to meet me for coffee next week... so do I meet her and break the no contact rule? Also is there a point? I don’t want to try for something that clearly won’t happen. I just need some outsider advice :(
I would like to share a comment with the dr. I experienced the separate therapist scenario and you are correct. the outcome is most certain to be divorce as was mine. Also in response to Alice. I read the book the verbally abusive relationship and although some people are prone to abuse, the author, in my opinion does not share or give any inspiration as does Susan. The author empowers women who need validation to end a relationship without having to do any work or communicate with there partner how verbal abuse may be affecting them. It's an incurable disease according to the author, and a very easy way out of a relationship, as well as a way to exonerate oneself from any and or even partial responsibility for divorce. I guess what's most important is verbal abuse is prevalent and can do serious harm to ones self esteem. it's not a death sentence and once it's brought to light, talked about and understood, can make a relationship stronger. If two people want to be together! Most times once a diagnosis is reached by an unhappy spouse, it's over and this book, as I said before, is the validation needed because once you determine you have been verbally abused your free to go and take no responsibility as the Author points out it's the fault of the abuser who has a death sentence and there fore you must get away.
Hi, my on and off boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. I'm a single mom. He was always there for my kid since she was born.but I cheated on him with the kids father. I made a stupid mistake he lost trust and broke up with me over suspecting I had cheated again I haven't. Idk what to do. I know he has another girl he's talking to. And his mom says he comes home late like 3am. I love him. We were talking marriage or moving in together before he dumped me.
Talk to his friends. If you have mutual friends or if his friends would be willing to talk to you without telling your ex about it, consider asking them what they think the chances are that your ex would want to get back together with you. They are more likely than you to know if he has a new girlfriend or if he's dying to get back together with you.[5]
Where the problem lies in attracting their ideal mate is not having a clear vision of the kind of person that they are attracted to and not settling for anyone that doesn’t fit the description of the woman of their dreams. My suggestion is that you should have the kind of woman you’re looking for very clearly written down in every detail: personality traits, physical attributes as well as religious beliefs if that’s important to you. From there you have a physical manifestation of your ideal mate. She’s no longer just an idea or a desire in your heart. You’ll find that she’ll literally show up in your life.
awesome and this is beautiful writer on 4 Ways to Make Him Commit and Want Only You. it’s explained many things about the relationship. I’m enjoyed yo read and understand every each word of those sent on this article, especially about ” I can clearly see now, years later after all the emotion and attachment is completely gone, we never would have reached that level of intimacy that is ultimately valuable to me in a relationship. I can use for make in status of my facebook and many friends like that.
If you cannot control your feelings, then I would suggest for you not to maintain a relationship with this person. Furthermore, I always think it’s vital to any starting point in dating or a relationship to be clear about each other’s expectations. If you are looking for a relationship, then let the other person know early on! If not, then say so. There have been too many times that I’ve seen a woman dating a man for months on end, only to end up getting hurt because it became a purely physical “modern relationship” in which the man never truly committed. The two never set the expectations for a relationship, or the woman sat in silence out of fear of being pushed away, hoping he would come around.
I’m definitely NOT saying you should have been looking to have a kid with her recently – not at all. I’m just saying that the relationship should have been very gradually progressing into more and more serious territory. Women need to notice this kind of progress because it shows them that eventually the relationship could lead to them delivering what nature intended – kids.
I get that regardless of the genre, we all go through difficult times and some of of Us need some time alone or space to clear our minds and regroup. However, i find really diaconsidered and selfish to vanish with no explanation. If you really care about the other person, you value their presence and the energy they put into you. Many paople take other for granted ans think they deserve understanding for this erratic behavior. I can assure you that a real grown up man or woman will take the time and effort to let you at least know that they are going through challenging times and they need to take some time off the normal rhythm of the relationship so you dont go through unnecessary pain and anxiety. Yes! Life is too short to waste it near unkind selfish people. There is no need for drama, that is why there will never be ok with people who dissapear and expect you to act real cool at anytime they want to come back! And yes! I can wait for someone who takes the time to tell me with honesty what is going !!!! The rest is total BS
Guys are going to naturally cycle between wanting intimacy and wanting independence. Trying to guess the reason is impossible – some guys want space to reflect on the relationship, some (insecure) guys want space because their friends make fun of them for being “too whipped”, some guys want space because they need time alone to clear their heads and gain clarity in life.
So when I hear someone tell me I want my ex back, I always ask them if they are prepared to change or to evolve in positive sense to make their ex want to be with them again. If you are ready to step out of your comfort zone and in certain instances re-visit some of preconceived notions or beliefs that you may hold about you and your ex than anything is possible!
It seems like she is having some sort of depressive episode, but if she doesn't admit or acknowledge it, there isn't much you can do because she won't admit to needing help. You can reach out again in October after no contact, but I suggest taking it a step at a time to see how she responds to you, and whether she still seems to be depressed at that stage.
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You’re letting him know that things have come to this, a turning point.  Either you’re going to stay friends (without benefits!) or you’re going to get back together.  But he has to know that it’s not going to work both ways.  You’re not going to “wait for him” and sit idly by as time moves on.  You should move on and if he really wants you in his life, he will initiate contact and let you know that he misses you.


Gay couples are always paranoid when it comes to holding hands in public. It’s getting better (thank God) but there are still days when we get so anxious that we fail to see how it affects our partners. Having a lover refuse to hold our hand in public can be devastating and traumatic. It’s just not fair. Find moments where you literally give zero f**ks! Grab his hand proudly, kiss him boldly, and let him know that what society may or may not think matters very little to you.

Where did I come up with this? Actually this really happened to me. I was dating a girl and after we broke up I happened to run into her at a Starbucks and even though we had a short friendly conversation I couldn’t take my eyes off of her because she just looked so gorgeous. She looked so good in fact that all I could think was “how in the hell did I let her get away?”


My boyfriend and I broke up March 26th. We got in a huge fight and I said some mean things. I pretty much begged my way back to him. That lasted a month. During that month, he was very distant and wouldn’t really make plans with me. Mind you, before we started dating we were best friends for a year. He broke up with me one week ago. We didn’t talk for 3 days until we ran into each other at a concert. He was a little drunk, so i took care of him. He texted me the next morning and we talked for a bit, the next day i asked him if he wanted to see the new Deadpool movie. His response was “maybe” he then said maybe some space would do us good. And we haven’t talked since. He told me when he saw me that he “didn’t love me like that” anymore. Do you think i have a chance? Should i spend time working on me, and then contact him and try to get our friendship back and then hope we get back together? Or should i just move on? I really love him and want to be with him, he is still my bestfriend after all.
We’ve broken up once before about four months ago, it was different. But I guess I’ll admit overall the same thing. Except it was for TWO DAYS. and even within those two days we still talked slightly. I can’t tell you exactly what it was about. But long story short, I wasn’t being the more positive. I wasn’t treating him the way he should have been treated. I wasn’t treating him badly, but I wasn’t fully aware of everything he was doing for me. I was negative. Always complaining about my home life, friends, job, blahnlah. But very soon I realized how I was acting wasn’t going to get me or him anywhere for awhile. Then we talked. We were happy. We were together. He had planned to be with me the whole time. Just wanted me to realize some things. Boom. Happy.
So me and this guy used to talk a lot face to face and then he asked for number one day and we texted all the time and spoke face to face but then after a year we no longer spoke face to face just cuz when we would act lovey dovey on text I started to freak out thinking it would be awkward face to face so yh that stopped but we still texted then I started liking him then ended up telllingg him n he said he liked me back but then his friend told me he was lying so I find out he was pretending cuz he felt bad even tho I said if. U don’t like me it’s okay.But yh we had a massively argument and didn’t speak for six weeks but I still liked him so being stupid I went running back and we have been talking ever since but now we have tiny arguments over silly stuff n he lied to me for the first time don’t get me wrong we still have a good time but I don’t know sometimes I feel like I’m wasting my time cuz I put effort it like I always text first n when I told him that he said it’s because he doesn’t kno when to and I’m like does it look like I know when ur available? No but I still text u. He also has this bff of his a girl who I get his close with but the pics they post together are couple-y. And Ik me and him ain’t together but I need advice, do I stop talking to him or what?
Think about the last argument that you had with your partner and use it to look for hidden messages in all that both you and your partner were trying to communicate. You should attempt to tune in your tone and try to tune in all that you wanted to convey. This will make you see the needs that you have in your relationship. Like in an argument, “You forgot to pick up milk when I reminded you several times,” really implies, “I miss you and want you to spend more time with me.”
You can only give others information. Therefore, you can not make your man do anything, whether that is committing to you or picking up his socks.  You can only give him information. However, that information is perceived by someone other than yourself and your intentions may not translate. Walking away informs him you are not interested in committing, and doing so could backfire and lead to a break up rather than a commitment.  
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