Long story short, this article helped put things in perspective again. I’m going to try my Damndest to give him space when he seems to pull away, play the cool understanding girl a little while longer, & endure. I do love him with every ounce of my heart & soul. I have always been a very confident person & have NEVER let anyone “treat me” this way. But, I’ve also never loved someone so deeply nor with this personality type before.
But FACT is that you have 2 choices (regardless of whether he’s a jerk and blowing you off, or if he genuinely cares about you and just needs space), you can chase after him demanding answers, or you can just breathe and get your own space, some me-time, rejuvinate yourself, get happy again outside of him. In time he will either disappear, never to be seen again, or he will come back. The point is that either way you will be fine because you’re happy anyway. This compared to chasing him, hunting him down, where you lose yourself in trying to get him/get answers/get even <– this is not healthy, and you end up sadder than if you just let go.
The energy you put into the relationship is the only thing that matters. Putting in energy doesn’t come from a self-absorbed place, it isn’t attached to feelings of anxiety, fear, worry, anger, rage, resentment. You are outside of yourself and putting energy into giving him that “extra something” that makes you valuable, rare, and inspirational to the guy.
8 months now, we normally live together but he’s away sometimes to take care of the kids for like a week every month which no problem for me. He agreed that moving back to that location is good for the kids education but for her he’s not sure. However, my concern is that he now has to be away to that new location that his ex and kids will move to (it’s also his hometown), to help on finding the apartment and prepare for schooling.
Hi, my boyfriend and I had a breakup since 2 months. The reason is quite complicated as even I, myself has doubts on that whether I made a mistake or is this just a misunderstanding. We had around 4-5 breakups in a row but we loved each other like anything. He always served that "no contact" period after breakup which made me confused that whether he's actually interested or not. In that confusion, I accepted his friend's relationship proposal while he was on his NC just to have my rebound relationship. When he came back, I told him that I'm now dating his friend as he has feelings for me. At that time, he reacted a bit and called his friend to let him know that we are patching it up. Then he broke up with me again and went for that NC again at the same night. I called his friend and asked him not to leave as I was not understanding his attitude (his friend is no doubt a very nice person). Then again he(my ex) came back after a month until then I realized that I love him(my ex) and I couldn't be with anyone else but him so I avoided his friend. Then we restarted our relationship in a strongest manner possible. I did already told him that I was in a relationship with his friend but I can't deny this fact that I realized that I couldn't be with anyone else but him. Also, I told him that I will break up with his friend as soon as I get a chance to talk to him. Then, he just read my old text messages in his friend's cellphone. Those messages were intimidating as I was in a relationship with him at that time. So, he got so horribly angry and broke up with me again and said that I cheated on him while I know that I am still so in love with him. Before reading this article I tried a lot to get him back at any cost. Calling/texting each and everything I was trying since two months. He always replies to my texts and it seems like he's so much hurt but now he just don't want me to be with him anymore. I'm feeling so guilty, desperate and confused as I can't find out whether I did something which had taken him away my true love away from me forever or whether it is just a emotional flood from him as he didn't like me getting closer to someone else. Please help me.
It is important to take time after breaking up and before trying to get your ex back to examine your own emotions and decide if you truly should be with that person. Rekindled relationships often suffer from a lack of trust and can be more likely to cycle on-again-off-again with repeated breakups. If you're not 100% sure that you want to be with this person in the long-term, avoid further pain by doing your best to get over your ex instead of pursuing him or her again.
I have a friend (who wants to remain unnamed.) He ended up breaking up with his girlfriend of 5 months for some silly reason (I honestly never understood it.) Anyways, three months after their breakup she started dating a new guy. Immediately my friend called me up and wanted her back. He didn’t realize what he had until he saw her with another guy.
I enjoy reading your articles. I’ve been seeing this guy for almost a year. We dated before 6 years ago and the reason we stopped dating is because he said I was pushing for something he wasn’t ready for. I didn’t realize I was pushing. He’s saying now like he said before, he doesn’t want a girlfriend right now, he’s too busy. But yet he’s still interested. He has said things to me like, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot and there’s nothing I can do about”, “We are more than just friends”, and then he pulls away again. It’s been an emotional roller coaster ride with him. He lives an hour away, we only text once a week or so, and only see each other every 2 or 3 months. We get frustrated with each and have arguments but still want to see each other so there’s something there. We are both Scorpios so I’ve been reading articles about 2 Scorpios being in a relationship and reading your articles. I’ve tried very hard not to seem “pushy” and realize the relationship is what it currently is. But how long do I have to wait for him to want to see me more? What should I say to him?
Forget all those relationship expert columns that tell you it’s most important to your man that he first see what’s in your heart. Bull****. It’s most important to see what’s inside your clothes. Now, before you scream, “Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig!” listen carefully. I’m not saying that we need to get into your pants right away in order to enjoy your company. But I am saying that men definitely need to know that you have the goods and that you take care of yourself. To put it bluntly, a guy’s first interest in a woman has nothing to do with the handbag she’s carrying or that she graduated from an Ivy League school. What your (potential) man wants you to know but won’t tell you is that his initial attraction is all about your appearance and physical being, which sends a flood of highly charged testosterone racing through his veins. Yes, the physical is first, and we’re not saying we won’t eventually fall in love with your intelligence, kindness, and humor. These extremely important attributes are the ones that will ultimately be critical in helping you hook us. But in the beginning the number-one attribute is what you look like and how well you take care of yourself.
It's always better to be late than never realizing the mistakes made at all. You definitely didn't ruin your chances or made a mistake in texting him about no contact, and as you've said, no contact should ultimately be for your benefit as its meant to pick yourself up from the breakup and become a better version of yourself, which should in turn convince your ex to come back when he sees the changes.
But sometimes filling your life with positive things is not enough. In fact, having a good vibe isn’t really about having the things you love around you or trying to imprint the idea that you feel good into your mind. It’s more about removing the self-destructive, negative thinking (and the behavior that the negative thinking creates) – i.e. changing the lens that you see the world yourself and your situations through.
I Sophia…try not to get caught up with innuendo or what he may have said to someone about you. Some guys won’t accept responsibility for their actions and will lie and deceive to cast blame on others. Now you have more insight into his behavior. I think you would benefit if you looked to join my Private Facebook Support Group. It has about 1500 women who have gone through all kinds of breakups and the support each other. I do weekly live Facebook webcasts on various topics. You can go to my website Menu/Products link to learn more about this!
Me and my exboyfriend have been dating for 10 months, but we had a lot of argument the past 2 months and he basically broke up with me stating that he couldn't get over the fact i wouldn't give up a relationship with a friend i spent a trip with (which nothing happened between us) and that i never loved him back the same way he did nor he felt loved or complete, saying i was unconsidered and ignorant about his feelings. After many discussions on how we could fix our relationship, he decided to give up although i refused to let him go and i insisted to work on us. At the end i couldn't convince him.
Want to know the quickest way to get your guy to commit? Hint about your ex popping back into your life, and watch your guy squirm! Even if you blocked your ex from your phone five years ago, you can still casually mention his name if you want to ruffle your guy’s feathers a bit. Simply tell him your ex has been emailing you and hinting at getting back together. Adding a little bit of competition to this dating game definitely won’t hurt!
I was in a relation with my ex for 3 years 9 months.It was a long distance relationship and he used to meet me every thursday - sun. Our parents knew about us and we were planning to get married soon. Few months back I noticed that he had been talking a lot with my roommate. I tried asking him indirectly about them but he always used to say that there is nothing. When it was too obvious, I asked him directly and he broke off with me on watsapp. He told me that I am immature and he loves me a lot but I'm like a kid for him. I asked him for a months chance and he said there is nothing left in him to try for me, but still I wanted to try and sort things out. In between that I found out that he had proposed to my roommate. He said he had feelings for her after breakup as he was lonely and he feels that she understands him well. My roommate said that initially she didnt love him but was only talking to him to sort things out between us , in spite of me warning her not to interfere. I love him too much and I did few things which were not supposed to, like begging him to be with me and trying to separate my ex and my roommate. My roommate is undergoing divorce and my ex says that both should get a second chance to be happy again. My roommate doesn't know if they have a future together. Few days back he called me and was explaining me that i should let go of him and move on.I know he loves me a lot and I also love him a lot and I believe that we can work on the communication and understanding issues between us. Please help me to get back with my ex. I have started the NC rule, but do you think there is a chance for us to be together? My ex and my roommate have been officially together since last 3 weeks and he has stopped visiting me and her.
SIDE NOTE: You may feel as if I am really grilling your approach to relationships here, but as I said, there’s a positive purpose to it. You need to see what went wrong first so that when you apply my how to win your ex back steps, you won’t be sabotaging the effectiveness of those steps by behaving in the ways that got you dumped in the first place.
Act like nothing is wrong. Even if your guts are tumbling like clothes in a washing machine, try not to let her know. She's probably not going to want you back if you're acting depressed, mopey, or sulky. Make sure you're laughing and genuinely trying to have a good time. You might find that you've become a happier person along the way. If you are feeling depressed, surround yourself with friends or family. Don't wait alone in a corner and just hope for her to come back to you.
Understanding that you do not need a man in order to be the best version of yourself is crucial. Loving yourself and doing exactly what makes you happy is key, which means that you need to know how to be happy alone. When you have this type of mentality, you will be able to spot red flags instantly and become more admirable. If a man wants to be with you, he will make it known throughout the relationship. He will make it known in healthy ways of properly courting you. He’s not going to send you the late night 11 pm or 1 am text for you to come over and “watch a movie.”
So me and this guy used to talk a lot face to face and then he asked for number one day and we texted all the time and spoke face to face but then after a year we no longer spoke face to face just cuz when we would act lovey dovey on text I started to freak out thinking it would be awkward face to face so yh that stopped but we still texted then I started liking him then ended up telllingg him n he said he liked me back but then his friend told me he was lying so I find out he was pretending cuz he felt bad even tho I said if. U don’t like me it’s okay.But yh we had a massively argument and didn’t speak for six weeks but I still liked him so being stupid I went running back and we have been talking ever since but now we have tiny arguments over silly stuff n he lied to me for the first time don’t get me wrong we still have a good time but I don’t know sometimes I feel like I’m wasting my time cuz I put effort it like I always text first n when I told him that he said it’s because he doesn’t kno when to and I’m like does it look like I know when ur available? No but I still text u. He also has this bff of his a girl who I get his close with but the pics they post together are couple-y. And Ik me and him ain’t together but I need advice, do I stop talking to him or what?
It may not be possible at the start, especially when the breakup was recent and memories of the relationship are still filled in both party's heads. He could be contacting because he misses you to a certain extent but is conflicted and distracted by his new relationship, resulting in him acting this way towards you. Depending on how recent, I would suggest going into NC for now to give each other some space first.
What I am going to share with you now is the most common reasons being men’s disappearing acts! As you read through this article, it’s essential that you understand that men are natural born hunters who enjoy the chase. If he is interested in having you as his girlfriend, he will show you this with his actions. Be careful to never settle for a man that isn’t giving you 100% with his actions but is saying everything with his words. This is where a lot of women run into trouble in their search for a good man. Pay attention to his actions more than his words.
If you have, forget the remainder of this Step and proceed on to the program I made that describes what you (in this specific situation) need to do next. Why? Because 3 or more, “yeses” at this point make it abundantly clear to me that here we have a Category A situation. Most breakups in which the girl ended it, are this. Don’t panic, I made this website for this situation more than any other. You are in the right place.
Hi,me and my ex were in a long distance relationship for more than a year .then we suddenly he seemed to be less interested in communicating.he said he started liking a girl there,and i couldn't do much about it. We still keep contact but as he have a very busy career.He told me that things are not the same now snd he does not feel the same love for me and that i am not his kinda girl.
He will definitely notice that you’re not as available as you once were, and it will add just the right amount of fear into the situation. Your guy will be worried that another guy will snag your attention, and it will definitely cause him to spring into action. Knowing that other men are attracted to you will definitely make your guy take the next step by finally asking you to be in a committed relationship with him!
I know you feel hurt and you probably feel worthless right now because feel like your ex doesn’t want you. You are eager to feel loved and hopefully ‘My ex will know that I’m in another relationship and my ex will feel jealous, and will beg to come back.’ STOP. That’s not self-love. That’s called my-ex-is-still-the-center-of-my-universe. Everything you do is because you want to get your ex back. But actually, everything you do from now on, should be focused on yourself.
None of this is to excuse men pulling away, and this covers only some men. But it does explain why many, many men feel more comfortable with their “hanging buddies” — who are in all the same predicaments they are — more than they feel comfortable with they women in their lives. I think many men both desire and feel profoundly uncomfortable with women, and terrified of being judged. Because they’ve already judged themselves.
So hear I am 30 days no contact, regularly going to my spin classes again, buying furniture for my new condo, focusing on me...but I feel like an emotional basket case most days still and no phone number to reach him. I really wanted to spend more time with him I feel as though it was cut short and I was still in the honeymoon excited about the future phase. What should I do? Short of showing up at his door step or writing a letter I have no means of contact (except social media). I was hoping I would hear from him soon and hoping he realizes that he made a mistake...any advice would be helpful
However, my ex boyfriend is not currently at the table with me on this one since we are broken up. (He is not ignoring me or saying we will never be together again, but is making it very clear that our relationship is over.) I have been very clingy in the past and 'convinced him' to stay with me when there were problems. I think he is worried I will keep doing that so he keeps telling me that it is definitely over.
I have a 4yr old girl and a 2 yr old boy. My kids dad and i was together for 12yrs i kno all to well that this happens. My best advice is to start putting the kids in childcare and you get a lil job you like or at a daycare being you you are use to caring for kids for like 4 hrs a day and stop focusing on him. And he’ll come bac around. Like that you’ll start building your own friendships and your always busy. Pay him less attention and he is gonna be like damn what happen and what he’s expecting. Have fun a mothers life is stressful to you need a outlet.
Going through the strangest break up at the moment as me and my ex mutually broke up because after 3 years, we both noticed she has no desire for penetration. The day after, we hung out to help her get parts for her car, ended up back at my place having the greatest sex we've ever had. She says that she doesnt feel the relationship pressure to do things perfectly and feels unhinged, but states that she wants to be FWB with a chance of getting together in the future. This is when I chose to use no contact. If we can have amazing sex with penetration after that, I'd like to see what 2 weeks or a month can lead to in terms of long term.
Adam, amazing video, I am impressed! Please keep up the good work! I am a single woman and I have responded to a handsome man’s flirts after like 2 months of him making it more obvious…I have put the breaks on from the beginning and to my surprise he kept insisting and making it more obvious! Here is the catch: I have rewarded him by teasing him a bit and introducing myself and being bold a little bit, bc I wanted him to get a reward and to know what he’s been doing is what I like…however, once I got to feel a bit “more comfortable” and start making small conversations here and there ( every 2 weeks or so, when we run into each other), he now started to pull away slightly, and I didn’t do ANYTHING about it, literally, just being myself, feminine, relaxed, NOT bothered by his pulling away…NOW, this guy didn’t even ask me out, but his face lightened up, he couldn’t stop smiling, it was in his eyes, face, everywhere, of course I noticed how much he liked me…I am a bit confused now, bc he worked hard ( 2 months) to get my attention and get a reward ( me teasing him, introducing myself, giving him a sign that I like him too) to only create a bit of distance once I feel more comfortable! Given that we never went out ( he didn’t ask for a ph number or anything) what should I do? We run into each other when I get off gym and he is at work! Last night I had seen him squeezing his head after me when I passed by (at his work place) and he seemed to careless about him being at work and have his employees seeing him doing that squeezing head after a woman but care far more FOR ME NOT TO SEE HIM squeezing his head to check me out! What happens? he made it plain obvious BEFORE for 2mo, now he seems to create distance but checks me out secretly ( or so he thinks :)). Should I say something given taht he didn’t even make a move on me, or should I allow his teh space he seems to want? I want to give this man a real chance, I liked his persistence :).
One of the worst techniques at trying to make a man commit I see is women who use jealousy. The only thing this is going to lead to is many tears, arguments and your man walking away. Men like women who are completely loyal so don’t flirt with friends or strangers, don’t talk about ex-lovers you have been with even if he asks you and don’t be too mysterious so that you man starts thinking you’re having an affair.
You see men aren’t schooled in this department of life. We spend years going to grammar school and learning about math, science, history, and multitudes of other important topics, but we never really learn the most important one of all, relationships. Whether it’s the wooing stage, as in dating and attracting women, or the later stage, as in building incredible connections and experienecs together, nobody ever really teaches us the intricacies of a healthy relationship.
So, my boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. Everything starts with this fight we have and then he starts to ignoring me. Of course I freak out and I tried to talk to him and bla bla bla but he didn't want to see me. And that's it. He gave me no explanation.. I've been in No Contact Rule since then but I'm really confused and sad about this. We had a great relationship and I really didn't want to give it up. What should I do?
Yesterday, I asked her how she felt cause it felt like things were up in the air. She told me "I dont think its up in the air. I thought I was clear". The. we got into a fight about it. She said she couldnt just not talk to me anymore and that I meant way too much to her to do that and that she'll stop talking to me since it was confusing. I told her that it doesnt feel like I truly meant the world to her and that I deserved another chance and that we should just talk it out. She replied after work saying "we already talked" and I just told her "Youre right. Take care of yourself" and she said the same back.
I meant a friend who directed me to Dr. Ikhine on the internet who help people to solve their problem and then i wrote to him and he said i should not worry about anything, that i should give him 48 hours for him to cast a spell for me and after that 48 hours my ex boyfriend called me on my office line and started begging. That is how my ex boy friend came back to me contact Dr.ikhinesolutionalter@gmail. com or WhatsApp +2347039543760 his help is guaranteed.