In your case, keep NC shorter than 30 days - usually, around 2 weeks would be enough. Reach out but perhaps you might want to consider all the angles first before deciding whether to tell him or not about your addiction. Some people might take it the wrong way and instead of even feeling pity, it pushes them further away because technically, you weren't being honest throughout the relationship. It might be better to come across and tell him that you've changed and leave it at that unless you know for certain that he would be understanding towards your situation.
Well, at this point he does not seem apologetic at all for cheating on you and leaving you for another person, so there's honestly no point in making an effort on your part to mend things because it would only reinforce that his behavior was not wrong. Even if you did manage to win him back, the same issue may occur again, as he does not do anything to make it up to you, and you remain with trust issues, which would eventually lead to the same type of breakup happening.
Is there another possible explanation for what seems like hot and cold behavior? Yes! If it’s not something new going on in his life that’s changed his routine, it could be about your relationship. It’s possible his feelings are dwindling, but it’s also possible he’s just settling into a more natural routine now that he feels the relationship is more settled.
When you first fall for a guy, it’s all about lust. A massive release of endorphins and dopamine, a chemical reaction, that makes you want each other more. By snuggling with your man, you can create that same intrinsic need that makes him want you and love you more. You will be programmed into his brain and that’s going to make him miss you and love you more. So snuggle up and make it happen!
He said that he wanted time to think about everything I said and that he's not ready to lose me yet, even though I had said I was done trying to win him back (which I'm not). There is no one else in the world I want to be with, which is why I am agreeing to give him space because I know we both need it. He said he was going to do his best to not let me down, but I am feeling incredibly desperate and full of false hope.
Everything went well…we were soo deep in conversations…but the only thing we did was we dint confide each other that we were in love with each other….i was too afraid to….and he loves texting me often…and he says im damn cute in my photos…pulls my leg often…and we chat day and night…he says im his bestiee…all of a sudden he started replying me in one word texts like ohhh’s and hmm’s which drove me mad….i dunno wat conclusion to make…may be he has found me boring and too available….i love him soo much and it really hurts if he doesn’t chat with me as before….i went offline for a month…and going offline will make him miss me??? Will that make him crave for my presence!! Pls…help me somebody..im dying everyday
Seriously though, if you see any book, product or article that guarantees that it can get you your ex back 100% of the time you should stop and realize that you are probably about to look at something that was made up just to get you to buy it or read it. Ironically, a lot of the stuff out there that makes these ridiculous claims offer no value and leave you feeling taken advantage of.
You might be going all in too soon. I would take a couple steps back and figure out what it is that you want from a man and put yourself first. It takes time to build attraction and sometimes people text for attention only. You don’t know there intentions until you continue to date someone and see them face to face. I wouldn’t take this personally and I would suggest mirroring what they are doing to you.
None of this is to excuse men pulling away, and this covers only some men. But it does explain why many, many men feel more comfortable with their “hanging buddies” — who are in all the same predicaments they are — more than they feel comfortable with they women in their lives. I think many men both desire and feel profoundly uncomfortable with women, and terrified of being judged. Because they’ve already judged themselves.
I started no contact after a phone call five days ago. Friday is her birthday however. I want to do no contact but think it’s rude if I don’t wish her a happy birthday. Do I use the birthday as a first step of positive texting then continue no contact for 30 days? Wish I read this earlier. The neediness was the worst look and clearly hurt more then helped.

Finding a spouse using pornography is a top reason couples seek counsel, but it shouldn't be overreacted to or pathologized, Dr. Kort says. First of all, sex addicts only represent 3-6% of the population, so it's unlikely your man is one. Plus, because childhood experiences influence sexuality as an adult, people are very idiosyncratic about what turns them on, Dr. Kort says. "So no woman can, nor should be, everything to a man."

Assure her that you both can fix the issues that led to your breakup. Remember why you guys broke up in the first place, so you can learn from your own mistakes. Have a plan ready, and discuss that plan with her. It's no use in getting back together if you go through the same issues all over again. If you didn't listen to her feelings enough, be sure that you're listening when you tell her you like her. If you didn't get along with her friends, make an extra effort to get along with them. Have a plan to attack what's likely to go wrong, and you'll impress the socks off of her.
All anyone really wants is to feel OK, and most of us don’t. When a woman worries and needs constant reassurance, it comes from feeling from “I am not OK” and the feeling beneath that is fear. What makes it so destructive is that it’s not an overwhelming, gripping fear; it’s a vague feeling of unease. It’s so quiet and subtle you may not even realize it’s there. You know how sometimes you’ll go to take a sip of water and you literally can’t stop chugging? You didn’t even realize you were thirsty, it’s only when you begin to quench the silent thirst that you realize how potent it was. That’s kind of what’s at play here.
Dark and mysterious or blithering babbler…find a middle ground that does not include talking about your ex, complaining about your health, going over chapter and verse about who you are, what you do and why. This applies to both disclosing your personal details and being mindful of the questions you ask your date. Remember, you’re both strangers and should be respectful of each other’s privacy.

One question. During this time of me really focusing on myself and trying to understand our situation better. Would it be wise the next time we talk face to face to discuss our future relationship (If we decide to be together again) to mention why things went so wrong in the last one and see if we're willing to set boundaries to not make those mistakes again? A little more insight into our relationship issues. So when we first met he still had a girlfriend. It honestly got under my skin all throughout the relationship because we were Long distance and he never really gave me a clear timeline of when they truly broke up and when we started talking. It made me insecure most of the relationship because early on in the relationship he'd go hours without talking to me. I went through his phone and saw he had met up with her claiming to console her because she was depressed/suicidal. Etc. I should have never got with him until I was comfortable, I realize that now. We started on the wrong foot. Then a series of events where he posted another girl on his page (He deleted it after I told him I didnt feel comfortable, he had no pics of me on his page), confused me with the same girl, and went out with friends with the girl. All without properly communicating with me. I had no issue with him having female friends but his communication about his friends was off. So the Trust and communication really needed work. It was so hard because we were in an LDR. He didnt know how to maintain, honestly. Overall he was a wonderful guy, he just wasnt the greatest at communication when we were apart. Together he was perfect. I felt in the loop. He started to make changes toward the middle/end of the last year of the relationship. So I know he's capable. I dont want to keep bringing up the past but I want to make sure this go around the boundaries are clearer. He broke up with me but I knew the end was near. We both had a lot to work on.
Ok so I don’t know how to start. My boyfriend and I had a 5 year age gap. And I recently just had him end a relationship of 1 year and like 9 months. We met on Facebook through a mutual friend and talked for a couple weeks in the beginning of Dec. 2016 until his birthday in January of 2017. Three days after his birthday party he invited me back over to hangout with him and the female mutual friend (who I met through work, she was like his older sister, she told me. And his neighbor) Anyway it was just me and him hanging out for a few hours and by the end of the night he romantically asked me to be his girlfriend, because we talked for weeks before meeting and he wanted to exclusively see me and date. I said yes. Fast forward maybe a month or a couple months and things were going great. We hungout on weekends, he came into my work to see me right after he got out from work almost every other day. It was very sweet. We went to movies, we went to his friends & his parents and were doing all kinds of stuff. People I knew from work would come to his house and hangout, watch movies, play games etc. Then I finally confessed to my parents that I was staying at his house (basically living there, I stayed 3 or more nights with him.) Everythjng was exciting and fun & sweet. Fast forward a week maybe and he asked me to move in. I said yes and told my parents my decision. I’m a cluttery/messy person.. and he’s OCD. Anyway after we were together over a year he said that maybe we should break up. He said he loved me very much but the house was always a mess (and I was working a ton of late nights as a pharmacy tech & always studying so I was tired. ) He told me the house being dirty was depressing and things with our relationship weren’t as exciting as the beginning. I managed to ask him to give me another try, I promised to keep the house clean & to do more activities with him. For a few months things were great, we went to his friends almost every weekend. We enjoyed activities with his & my parents. And we still hungout with our mutual friend (his neighbor).i ended up quitting my job and we went to Florida for 2weeks. We stayed with his family along the way and I met everyone. That was this past april. Things were great. We even recently went to Wisconsin together for a family wedding. Then tragedy hit over 10 days ago. His parents had moved down south before April, and I knew he missed them a lot. He rarely spoke compared to his every day phone calls with them. They were always busy now. So he invited one of his best friends to stay for a week with us to kinda pick himself back up I guess. It created tensions between us. We went to get him downstate for the weekend and I don’t like doing things outdoors/active.. idk why. Anyway ever since then he stopped holding my hand & kissing me goodbye before work. He even stopped kissing me when he got home from work, he withdrew from me almost completely, and I’ve always been clingy. But I was coming up on 7 months with no work and money was tight so I blamed it on that. Long story short he broke up with me 10 days ago. He said we are two different people and he needs an active and clean/neat partner. And I need someone to motivate and wake me up when repetition happens because I can deal with the same thing everyday. But not him. So for the past 7 months I’ve been trying to sell soaps. And he hasn’t been exactly supportive. He doesn’t talk about it. We would fight because he wouldn’t say anything positive he just would say oh cool. But he wasn’t negative or thought it was stupid either, I got his mom into the hobby. I miss him now. I don’t know if he will ever comeback. I’m desparate.. I was with him for almost 2 years, so many memories, i moved in with him and left my family & friends behind. They lived 30 minutes from where we lived. Nobody ever visited because of distance. I was ready to marry him, and at one point he did too. But the day we broke up he said something was missing in his life and he needed time alone. I have so much I could say, but this is already too long. And I recently made an okcupid account and found he had reactivsted his old one. I am so depressed that he’s moving on already. He didn’t want to give me anymore chances to change and he didn’t want to fix things.. But he swore up and down he’s always supported and loved me. He said he still loves me but we don’t work. Somebody please reply, I’m losing my best friend and the man I love. I know couples can change & grow together in relationships, I just feel because he’s depressed and isolated from everybody hat he’s pushing me away too.. I can do but leave him alone because he doesn’t like to message me anymore. I had a new phone he persuaded me to get with him when he wanted one too, everything was contract & in his name. It was a hassle to get it switched back to me & make payments w/o a job. Same with my car insurance. We were looking at houses and everything. It was like overnight he changed..
Even if you want to win her back, you're going to have to accept and process the breakup either way because it's unlikely that you'll win her back simply by being the same person as you were. The panicking and desperate behaviors also would have made her feel more strongly about the breakup, and you're going to need to give both parties space right now. Go into no contact and process your emotions, follow the guidelines in our articles, before reaching out to her again.
This is where a man’s ego can get in the way. Instead of listening to what a woman is saying and seeing her point of view, men at times will start to defend themselves. Men often think they are just being attacked, and so they immediately go into a defensive mode. Instead, repeat her position back to her by saying: “So you feel I should spend more time with you.” You’re not necessarily agreeing with her, but she will feel heard.
There is often a huge strain on the relationship when one person starts to become disinterested. Let’s face it, it hurts when you’re missing a guy, especially when you two haven’t been together for a month and he isn’t showing any signs of missing you. What’s painful about it is that you know how much you miss him, but he just isn’t showing you he is missing you.
We had very profound conversations, sharing the most intimate secrets and trusting each other. The physical part was amazing! After I couldn’t withhold my feelings on several occasions (two –three times during these two months) he started to pull back. The invitations to sleep over stopped all of a sudden, he stopped texting me every day and we have not met now for three weeks. I don’t see anything of what he told me before (that I was a different kind of a woman, that he hardly let someone so close to himself, that I am one of the few people he lets touch and hug him, that he cared about me given that he texted me every day, that I am a person worth having closer and that he didn’t want to hurt me). I try to revive things but every time I ask to meet he comes with “Maybe, if you find time although I am going out this weekend” and after going out “I got so drunk, I have a terrible hangover let’s meet another day” (which never comes), or when I ask whether we would meet he says “Let’s go to the cinema!” and then asks “Have you seen the movies? Although there is nothing good..” and it all stops there.
Because he was feeling so much better about himself with his new problem-solving and listening habits, Peter was able to talk with his wife in the playful and engaging mode that had attracted her when they had first met.  Paulette was delightfully surprised.  She appreciated his clarity about the mistaken roads he had taken. She liked his vision of the new Peter.  She especially like the many ways that already he was acting in the new ways.  She felt for the first time in years that Peter was actually seeing and listening to her instead of locked in a narcissistic bubble.  
There is a notion out there that relationships are hard and filled with struggle. And while I concede that there will be times when disagreements will arise or less than pleasurable situations may happen that need to be dealt with, that’s not the kind of struggle I’m talking about. I’m talking about the notion that there needs to be a tug of war between two people… that you need to try with all your might and then maybe the guy will see the light and come over to your side. Regardless of whether or not you really like a guy, or if he really wants you back,  your interactions are what they are. There’s no fantasy to bring to reality, no wishes and wants to come to fruition… it already is as it is.

Justin Stenstrom is a nationally acclaimed life coach, author, entrepreneur, and speaker. He is the founder of EliteManMagazine.com, the author of the book Giving Shy Guys Game, and the host of the Elite Man Podcast on iTunes. His mission is to provide men with the best tools to become complete gentleman. Justin is an ordinary guy with an extraordinary hunger for the advancement of today’s gentleman. Once shy, insecure, depressed, and unhappy, Justin’s overcome many of life’s greatest obstacles and loves nothing more than helping other guys do the same! For a complete bio on Justin click here.
Pursue your passion. Most of us may struggle to say what our passion in life is. We are too bogged down in our obligations, responsibilities, and routines to carve out any time to give some thought to the things we are passionate about. Your time of no contact is as good a time as any to figure it out. Maybe you’ve always had a love for good art. Maybe you are excited by gardening or writing. Take this time to do those things Also, take this time to try something new. You might just find a passion for something you didn’t know you had before. Engaging in the activities and hobbies that we love, that we are good at, and that we are passionate about go a long way to remind us of our essence and make us feel alive again.
I’ve been “hanging out” with this guy off and on for two years. Before meeting him I read books on this exact subject. I’ve been married and divorced twice so I wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing if I got involved with a man again. I’m very opened about my feels I always have been. I like that about myself but in the past I’ve also been pushy wanting things to happen right away. Now with this guy I’m “hanging out” with has pulled away a lot in the 2 yrs I’ve been seeing him, but he had always come back. I think it’s because I always gave him his space. Since being married and divorced twice taking things slow was fine with me. Just recently though, I couldn’t help myself and I told him that I loved him. I thought for sure he was going to pull away, but he didn’t not right away anyways. In fact, we talked about making it exclusive. I was so happy because it’s what I had been waiting patiently for two years for. Recently, we had a two year anniversary of when we met so being the person I am I gave him a card. I said a paragraph of very heartfelt things. I knew this would definitely make him pull away from me and I was right. Even though I know when it’s going to happen it still doesn’t make it easy to deal with. I love him and I want him to know this. I want him to know that I accept him for who he is. I feel the only way I’m going to get him to trust me is by letting him have his time away from me. When he comes back he’s different, for instance, he more loving sweeter. I believe him when he says he’s happy with me. He too has been in difficult relationships in the past that broke his heart. Love isn’t meant to go fast. Love takes time. I’m glad it’s going this way even though it’s hard because I came from abusive background and it’s why my marriages ended. This guy inspires me to grow and find myself. I’ve started back to school at 43 yrs old because of his encouragement. I don’t feel I have to be someone I’m not when I’m with him. I feel safe when I’m with him. I want him to feel the same when he’s with me. I feel that’s what true love is all about. I may love him but he’s not my whole world, he’s only part of it.
Men tend to like women who are independent and confident. They prefer the relationship to be interdependent. Interdependence requires both of you to be dependent as well as independent. This means that you create a dedicated space for your friends, work, and passion. You should not lose grip of things that are vital to you. Keep doing what you were doing before you began dating him.

Hi, my girlfriend of 3 months finally came over to my home to find out I live with my Mom. She never knew this before. She brought a bottle over, so she clearly wanted to finally have sex with me. We went to a restaurant instead because I told her my Mom is sick and I take care of her. At the restaurant, I was talking to her about log term commitment and marriage possibly. She was recently divorced with kids. I notice she never invites me to functions with her kids. We normally do stuff together with just the 2 of us. She is kind of defiant and rebellious just for the record. So, I get this text 3 days later after she comes over about wanting to break up with me because I want a long term relationship and she wants friends with benefits. I told her I was cool with friends w/ benefits too but she insists on the break up. She has a history of making excuses when she doesn't want to go to an event via text, so I don't know if the marriage questions caused the break up or was it really the mom situation/ her wanting sex. Your thoughts, what should I do to get her back??? How do I know if ever which it was?
Thank You Eric for this wonderful article! I followed all your advice keeping my options open, stopped having an agenda, started enjoying the relationship for what it is and most importantly learned how to be happy by myself, and the guy I was dating for almost 2 years finally made it official! It takes time to practice these things but it is so worth it!
It’s as simple as that. If you feel like something’s not right, in all probability, something is definitely wrong. Communicate and make the effort. At times, the relationship may be a failed cause because your man’s a bad guy. But almost always, the relationship stagnates because you and your lover have started to take the relationship for granted. [Read: 25 relationship rules for a successful long term relationship]
Guys are so simple, having a great relationship and making him chase after you becomes the same thing. Once you know this secret, you won’t ever need him to chase you again. Here’s the secret: If it feels good in the moment – men move towards it. If it doesn’t feel good in the moment, men move away from it. That’s it. It holds true over time, so if on the whole it feels good – he’ll keep moving towards it. If on the whole it feels bad, he’s going to move away from it.
It's always better to be late than never realizing the mistakes made at all. You definitely didn't ruin your chances or made a mistake in texting him about no contact, and as you've said, no contact should ultimately be for your benefit as its meant to pick yourself up from the breakup and become a better version of yourself, which should in turn convince your ex to come back when he sees the changes.
I hope this article helped you better understand why guys pull away. But there is more you need to be aware of. Most guys will start to pull away at some point. They may even lose interest. You may notice he’s acting colder and he’s less responsive and attentive to you. Do you know how to handle it when this happens? If not, you run the risk of making a common, and major, mistake that might push him further away so be sure to read this next: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
This may or may not work, but I think it’s your best shot given the distance issue. The Philippines is overrun with women that like Western men anyway so even if she doesn’t come through, I’m sure you can meet other women anyway, maybe online. That can be the backup plan and you may find someone that you like even better when over there. So, that’s what I would do!
This tactic may be a little harder to implement because it can sometimes depend on the situation that your ex is currently in. Basically you are going to bring up a stressful event very gently and show that you are going to be supportive no matter what with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. This has to be completely genuine otherwise you are better off not saying anything at all.
Hi, I broke up with my ex girlfriend like 6 weeks ago after dating for 2 years. She broke up with me cuz she said that we were fighting a lot and she has trust issues. And that she thinks our paths are in very different ways. We are both from LA but she is currently in NYC and I’m in Cancun. It’s been a long distance relationship since the beginning. The fist 1 week I did not talk to her, the second week I started to try and fix things and she said she was over the relationship. It’s been a long distance relationship but we made it work seeing each other every 3 weeks. After I saw that she was really sticking to her word I flew in that 2nd week to try and fix things. We spoke in person and maybe I was to needy or tired to convince her to give us another chance and she still said no. This was the 1 of Agust 2018 I flew back home and started the no contact rule. Around 2 weeks ago she unblocked me from WhatsApp and Instagram so i thought that the no contact rule was working. I texted her on Monday the 3rd of Septembe 2018. I Found out later that day before she answered that she is going out with some other guy or that she is seeing someone new. When she answers I lashed out and straight up told her that I was very disappointed in her cuz I never thought she would go out with someone new that fast. I guess that was a mistake on my part and defeated the no contact purpose, or I don’t know. But I was very mad and disappointed. I was so mad that I blocked her. I then came to my senses this past Friday and sent her a FB message apologizing for my behavior and telling her how I felt and how th no contact period had helped me unterstand where we went wrong and that I loved Her and that I wanted to make things right ect. She answered today saying that she doesn’t want to hurt me but that she thinks we where arguing to much and fighting over everything and that she thinks she did the right decision cuz our paths are very different. I don’t know what to do now? Answer her what? Or what should I do? No contact again? Or should I answer her back?
Long story short, this article helped put things in perspective again. I’m going to try my Damndest to give him space when he seems to pull away, play the cool understanding girl a little while longer, & endure. I do love him with every ounce of my heart & soul. I have always been a very confident person & have NEVER let anyone “treat me” this way. But, I’ve also never loved someone so deeply nor with this personality type before.
I see some interesting points here re men withdrawing from relationship at times. It’s what we do. On occasion we need “me” time for simple reason we just do. Too many women see this as rejection when, in reality, we are just doing or evaluating our situation and who we are with. All perfectly normal behaviour. We will surprise you, if you let us. We also desire our mates time together so we can bond. It’s what Men do. I believe in any relationship both parties should be with their friends only not as a couple. It makes the relationship stronger. For sure Men as a collective WILL look at other Women and comment on them. Again it’s what we do. If any partner says he doesn’t do this then he is a liar. Looking is fine. Touching isn’t. Please avoid planning “our” week without checking with me first otherwise resentment will present itself. I see some comments on “he is in the Doghouse” and I’ve brought my boys up to respect women blah blah blah. All very well and nice in right context but reading between lines I sense control and “I’m the Boss” in the relationship. Dangerous ground. He will suffer it in silence but over time he will resent you for it a very fine line to balance on. In short men expect Women to be soul mates but there are simple things too he will appreciate.
What does it mean when….. I said I want things over as I don’t think he’s in right place for a relationship (and he agreed) and I explained I wasn’t happy that things weren’t progressing, not enough respect etc…..he came back asking if I’d met someone and if I change my mind to talk to him again; I replied that I am opening myself up to dating again as there’s no real commitment with us; and that I think things would need to be different for me to explore more with him (as I don’t want casual or to be a texting buddy)….he then said in a midnight text ‘me too, about your honesty’ (which confuses me?) and I haven’t heard from him for over a week…and then not long after he accepted my long outstanding Facebook friend request (with friends/photos not accessible)……I don’t know what to read from that? And I’ve not contacted further.
Sometimes guys will think they have just fallen head over heals for someone else.  But sometimes the truth is that it’s not love, bit just pure sex.  So you may be wondering, how will I ever get my ex back if he is hooking up with some other girl.  Well, we are going to get into all that, but for now, just know that sometimes boyfriends will wander off either because they are lured away or that just have not yet learned that they are risking blowing up the good thing they have going with you.
I enjoy reading your articles. I’ve been seeing this guy for almost a year. We dated before 6 years ago and the reason we stopped dating is because he said I was pushing for something he wasn’t ready for. I didn’t realize I was pushing. He’s saying now like he said before, he doesn’t want a girlfriend right now, he’s too busy. But yet he’s still interested. He has said things to me like, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot and there’s nothing I can do about”, “We are more than just friends”, and then he pulls away again. It’s been an emotional roller coaster ride with him. He lives an hour away, we only text once a week or so, and only see each other every 2 or 3 months. We get frustrated with each and have arguments but still want to see each other so there’s something there. We are both Scorpios so I’ve been reading articles about 2 Scorpios being in a relationship and reading your articles. I’ve tried very hard not to seem “pushy” and realize the relationship is what it currently is. But how long do I have to wait for him to want to see me more? What should I say to him?

Hey Ryan, so me and my ex were together for about 1.5 years and things were pretty great... we had the occasional disagreement but for the most part we seemed to be a good match, we traveled out of the country for her first time, went horseback riding, on cruises left each other notes confirming our affection to one another even got back into the church together. Somewhere we hit a rough patch as het best friend of 9 years confessed his love and it caused friction between us because she was not sure what to do with those feelings and it constantly caused arguments because I told her to cut him off which she tried but eventually refused. Funny thing is her parents wanted me to marry her, me and her mom even picked out a ring... she had even gotten off of birth control and we were trying to have a kid but it didn't happen. Eventually we got into an argument about her best friend again and we broke up... now she's dating him and they travel together and seem inseparable. She would still come and see me without him knowing and she said she loved us both but didn't want to lose him but didn't know what to do because she loved me to... she felt as if she was in two relationships but ultimately began spending less time with me and more with him. She is a very pretty girl which makes it harder because she can have her pick of the litter biiut I really care for her and don't really know what to do.... she wanted to meet for a closure outing before moving on which I began no contact at that point and it's been about a week and I've heard nothing from her... not sure how to proceed at this point
Does he seem like he has one foot out the door? Like he’s not fully invested? When you bring up the topic of where things are going, does he avoid the question or say he’s not ready to talk about it? This can feel like he’s pulling away, but think about it: maybe he’s not pulling away. Maybe he’s standing still and you’re pushing. It might feel the same to you, but there’s a difference.
In fact, seeing a reconciliation as anything other than a combination of mutual growth and effort is a pretty unhealthy approach. "I would avoid the mindset of 'winning' over anyone," says Dr. Mariana Bockarova, Ph.D., who teaches relationship psychology at the University of Toronto. "If your relationship is missing some key attributes, no one has won in the end."

Hi. My ex bf broke up with. Me about 6 weeks ago after about 4 yrs. We had a colse emotional and physical connerction, at least i felt so, and our relaionship was gettind great the last 4 month and we had a plan to marry. But suddnly he said that he can't do it anymore, he said he had cheated on me several times with meaningless sex bcz he wasn't satisfied with our sex, he said i could never accept him and kept arguing with him frequently(i agree i was so insecure) and he said he became who i wanted but didn't. Give him what he wanted so he wasn't happy and he was always stressful. Siad his good behavior recently was because he didn't want to upset me and was fake- which i dont believe. He says he loves me but love is not enough and he behaved me really nice when i was acting crazy till now. I do regret my behavior and i want him back. I wish he doesnt give up hope for me.


One thing that you always need to keep in mind is that you shouldn’t go looking for your old relationship in the new guy. If you keep on looking for similarities, then you will end up with someone who is completely like your ex. This is definitely not going to work in your favor. Instead of this, you should look for qualities that you would like your ideal boyfriend to have.

To be honest I don’t think he is scared to take the next step. I do think he likes you and has feelings for you but it seems to me that you are not setting boundaries and voicing your opinion and standards in this relationship so he will eventually take you for granted. I know this isn’t the answer you want to hear but I am here to give you the truth through years of experience. Right now, he has you when he wants you and he does not have anything pushing him to be with you. Some questions I would ask is why does it not bother you that he is touchy feely with other women? Becuase you don’t want to push him away? Or Don’t want to come off bossy, controlling, or needy? If so, then this will push a man away because he will take you for granted. Now, if you are open to open relationships then that’s ok too. Just trying to touch all bases here. But moving forward you need to know your good enough and not an option to this man. Go radio silent for 30 days! Also, challenge yourself to do some new activities to keep your mind busy. I know this will be hard but do this. 🙂 I invite you to reach out to me for a coaching session too if you would like so we can get some actions into play.

Make sure you have time and privacy to talk this through with him.  Make sure that you are both sober and that this “talk” does not happen while you are being intimate. You want him to give proper attention to what you have to say. It is important that he gives you a clear and honest answer regarding your question about moving to the next stage in the relationship. Make sure that you are both clear as to what “commitment” means to each of you.

When you follow the no contact rule, you give him the time and space to miss you. This can only happen in your absence, not in your presence. By reaching out too soon, you risk falling into a post-relationship relationship. Meaning you talk on occasion and you hang out from time to time, but your relationship is totally undefined and the needle doesn’t seem to be moving in one direction or the other. That’s because you’re both lacking clarity and that’s because you need a period of no contact to get your minds straight. If you don’t take this time, everything will remain cloudy and confusing.


Getting him to commit to your relationship will be much more difficult if you keep nagging him about the same old things, over and over again. This is one of the major things you want to avoid if you are asking yourself the question how to get him to commit to you. There is nothing more annoying for a man than a whiny, spoiled woman who doesn’t stop nagging him about every single thing. If you are doing it all the time, stop it. The only thing you will achieve ios driving him up the wall or away from you. Making him run away from you will make your job twice as hard. Instead, embrace the new tactic. Let him loose a bit, and that doesn’t have to mean he can cheat or do what he wants. No. Just find another way to word out what you are bothered with, and sometimes being silent is golden as he will be wondering what is on your mind. If you still don’t know how to get him to commit, we got one more trick up our sleeve.
Hi - I've been dating a wonderful woman for over 12 years. For the most part, everything was fine but I took her for granted. I was regularly late, my house was a mess and I wasn't always at my best. Never was physically or mentally abusive. I have two kids, not hers, who she loves and I know they love her. My daughters are now 25 and 18 so they've been part of her life for most of their lives. It's been a long month without her and I'd love to know what I can do to fix things with her. I've tried to give her the 30 days away deal and have tried to stay away from her to give her some time.
Hey hii i am really sorry in advance to be asking this question , hopefully you wont judge me on this : I was dating a guy who is married , we were in living in for 2 years and deeply in love . Some how his wife caught him . He got scared of society and chose her over me . Even after which he had been in connection with me but i feel now he is not responding well to me . Does this theory of no contact implement on such complex situations as well .
As with all other events that may have a past involvement regarding the two of you (Valentines, birthdays, New Year's), contacting her soon after starting NC would probably come across as desperate and an attempt to try winning her back in her eyes because she currently has her guard up against you. At this point, only you would think it's rude not to wish her on her birthday and she wouldn't expect you to. You could read this article for more input regarding this matter.
My boyfriend and I were so in love and I am still in love with him but he broke up with me due to us fighting a lot and me not aware of how I behave. I was really cruel to him because I took him for granted. We made a lot of future plans in only our third month. We have dated for 7 months but we used to see each other everday that is why we were so connected to each other. But then he said that he was tired of us fighting and I told him that I am aware of my behaviors and will change and go back to our first four months. He does not believe me at all. He said we should be friends and fall in love with others, after some time I will rethink. I really don't want to break up and I can't stand the idea of him being in love with someone else and looking the same way he used to look at me. Tomorrow we are meeting but I am not sure that he is going be nice to me. Our friend group is the same but I don't think this will make a difference. Please help me.
"Be more assertive if you're interested in a guy. Sometimes reading signals from women feels a bit like reading brail if you're not blind. There are a lot of ways a girl can show she's interested without going overboard, like a subtle touch or giving a little extra attention at a party. If a guy knows you're interested there's a big chance he'll become interested too." Josh F
If you feel that he is unable to give you the attention you need, perhaps it would be better to focus on moving on as he may not be right for you. However, if this is a temporary phase and you think that it would get better, then maybe giving both parties a break right now by doing no contact would be good since it allows for some breathing room and for him to focus on what he needs to do right now, while you figure out whether his lack of attention towards you is something you're able to accept.
When a man pulls away, try not to take it personally. Believe me, I know this is way easier said than done. Everything is going great, you start to think this guy could be the one and then boom, he disappears for what seems to be no apparent reason. If you can relate to this, it probably isn’t your fault. Although it’s impossible to give an exact reason why he pulled away, most of the time it’s his own personal issue’s. If it’s really bugging you, there’s an amazing guide by Slade Shaw. He shows you why men lose interest… Read more »
First things first, you are going to become the sexiest version of yourself that the world has ever seen. Let’s say you and I were dating and we had a fight and broke up (I know I am a horrible boyfriend 😉 .) Anyways, after a month of you basically freezing me out (no contact) I happen to bump into you at a Starbucks or somewhere where we both frequented. The first thought I have of our encounter will be based on the choices that you made during the 30 day no contact period. If you sat around feeling sorry for yourself and ate ice cream on the couch all day I will probably think “she looks terrible.” However, if you spent that no contact time working on yourself physically and mentally I am probably going to think “WOW! She is even more beautiful than I remember.”
All anyone really wants is to feel OK, and most of us don’t. When a woman worries and needs constant reassurance, it comes from feeling from “I am not OK” and the feeling beneath that is fear. What makes it so destructive is that it’s not an overwhelming, gripping fear; it’s a vague feeling of unease. It’s so quiet and subtle you may not even realize it’s there. You know how sometimes you’ll go to take a sip of water and you literally can’t stop chugging? You didn’t even realize you were thirsty, it’s only when you begin to quench the silent thirst that you realize how potent it was. That’s kind of what’s at play here.

I won't go into the reasons we broke up. But our relationship just seemed to come to a natural end. After being friends for 10 years and then finally getting together, our lives had been running parallel for so long and then one day, we were just off in different directions. We were young, and had other shit going on that at the time that was more important than our relationship.


I hope you enjoyed this post and can take away a lot of helpful tips and advice for your current and future relationships! If you have any comments, questions, or any more tips of your own, please comment below and share them! I’m sure many of our experts will be more than happy to respond back and keep the conversation going! Also, if you love articles like this, sign up for our Elite Man Newsletter and get all of our best articles, podcasts, tips, and advice completely free!
So it was a deadly suprise that all of the sudden he texted the day after we both said good night and how we love each other, saying he had confusing feelings about the relationship and a few hours later ended it over text saying that he doesn't want to lose me and he "loves me a lot" and that if we continued it would increase our chances of getting into a huge arguement and ending our relationship in a horrible way. So he ended it and we ended in a good way like he wanted and remained friends because he doesn't want to lose me.
honestly I did not show appreciation to my ex while we together. I missed valentines day and his birthday. when I decided to make the best of times with him it was to late. then I asked him for closure and he came talked in person. I told what if I got therapy because there is something going on that effects my relationships. he told its been three weeks and I’m over you….. I cried of course then looked at him and said I feel better. just got sick of being sad, doesn’t mean I’m over him. but its step. then I told me what was really going on and told he’s proud of me said I’m strong person and good girl. he told me to feel free to talk to him and said he wont be jerk to me. he also wants to improve. it sucks that I was to occupied with other stuff in life that i didn’t learn to understand him but oh well. that doesn’t mean has feelings for me. sadly I cant live in world that revolves around him I must create my own world and keeping living up to my goals. this relationship may have been painful but helped realize what I need. we are blind from pain because only look at the bad qualities that it brings us but we all need realize its actually beautiful because it shapes us. I’m going to embrace it this break up..
Too often women try to change men into something that they really are not. Before you embark on your commitment campaign ask yourself if he is the committment type. This will make your job much easier and save you a lot of embarassment and trouble down the line. If the guy wants to settle down with you, he will and sometimes the only thing that changes his mind is you telling him that he needs to. If he is not the type that wants to settle down do not put yourself on a high pedestal like so many women and get yourself believing that he played aaround with adozen women before you but you are the special one that he needs. Again twisting his arm is not necessary if you nand he are on the same page. If he really wants to settle down, he will withoung the convincing. Just dont allow him to settle when he seems out of options.
“Women are open. They believe, they subscribe, and they go all in. They will do what it takes to meet the man of their dreams and put themselves out there,” says professional matchmaker, Susan Trombetti.  “They are more social, they are happy a lot of the times, and in this generation of women, they are the best version of themselves: educated, great friends, independent, great careers, and great family. They have a lot to offer someone.”
Hi, I’m currently going through the painful process of a messy breakup. I actually did a few of not all the mistakes from step number one(mostly because he didn’t even wait 24hrs after our breakup to start talking to other girls..) Eventually, he texted today that he was sorry from the bottom of his heart and if he had it his way he would still date me but he also said that we just need to stop talking completely for “both of a sakes” because I was “too invested in him” . He said that he was a burden and I although I do love him, and I would only like to be with him later on. I want to do this. I just don’t know if I’d be blocked by the time I do end up contacnting (maybe a couple months from now). I read this article, and it honestly helped me a lot. A lot of these, I had already thought about but this just reinforces that this is what I should do to heal myself. Thank you for it!

The problem with making yourself too "available" when he's playing hot and pretending not to notice when he's playing cold is, you've made it clear you're going to be sticking around no matter what. Unfortunately, this means he feels confident continuing this behavior because he knows there won't be any consequences. You will be there when he wants, and he can ignore you when he doesn't.
Where the problem lies in attracting their ideal mate is not having a clear vision of the kind of person that they are attracted to and not settling for anyone that doesn’t fit the description of the woman of their dreams. My suggestion is that you should have the kind of woman you’re looking for very clearly written down in every detail: personality traits, physical attributes as well as religious beliefs if that’s important to you. From there you have a physical manifestation of your ideal mate. She’s no longer just an idea or a desire in your heart. You’ll find that she’ll literally show up in your life.
You're going to have dig a little deeper and try to understand what caused her sudden change of heart. Often, unless the person has commitment issues and is always looking for a way out of the relationship, thoughts of not working out usually don't develop overnight and have larger underlying issues tied to it, just that the other party may not have brought it up. Your chances are dependent on what this underlying issue is, and whether its something that can be resolved or not to win her back.

When you’re dating you can check to see if your values are aligned, but once you are in a committed relationship it can take some information, new skills and practice to co-create a loving partnership. As a relationship coach I help my clients look at the big picture: to feel truly heard and to understand the other. I think the key here is “partnership” which allows each person to be respected and to contribute to the greater good of the relationship and to the world. We have no models for healthy relationships so most people are building the plane as they’re flying it!
Let's start with a simple truth. Men don’t want to feel like they’re being hooked, especially in the beginning of a relationship. This has something to do with our innate desire for freedom and our need to feel like we’re in control. Not to say that we’re not open to the idea of settling down and being satisfied in a monogamous relationship with you, but the second we detect that these are your intentions, we either stop returning your phone calls or start figuring out ways to escape without hurting your feelings. Understanding the basics of how we think in this situation will go a long way toward producing the results that you desire. So don’t judge what follows as being politically incorrect or rude. Be warned that this is not about what’s right or wrong, respectful or disrespectful. This book is about one thing — the raw truth.

After only a 2 month relationship, is it possible to get him back? or is it just a fling? I totally get what you mean about 30 days to miss you and such, but 30 days of no contact seems like a lot considering it would be half the time we were together. He is definitely moved on, he was back on Tinder the day after we broke up. He's been polite and kind in the few times I've reached out since, but I can tell he definitely has no interest anymore. I just can't shake the feeling that no contact won't work in this situation. He has no reason to dislike me or anything, but Im sure he just sees me as someone who he wasn't ultimately compatible with. I'm not sure time apart would change that.
The more your guy says “I love you” then more he will come to terms with it and realize that you are an important person in his life. If at first he refuses to say those 3 words and instead compliments you or says something like “isn’t is obvious” after you have asked whether he loves you, tell him that it would mean more if he said those 3 little words.
Develop a playful sense of humor. What do girls say they look for most in guys? A sense of humor and a playful attitude These two traits are attractive because they tell other people that we're youthful and not aggressive. So learn a few jokes if you can (friends are always good to try them out on) and keep the ones that work and throw away the ones that don't. Learn to make fun of yourself a little, in a confident way — not a mopey way. And, for goodness sake, be playful, especially when you're around her. Tease her lovingly, or play a small prank on a friend. You'll notice the difference in her.
Once you've faced your fear of being partnerless, then, and only then, can you know if you genuinely want your relationship back. "If you only miss your ex when you feel lonely, or when you compare your life to those of friends in relationships but not in moments when you feel happy and confident, it won't make for a very fulfilling relationship down the line," Dr. Bockarova says.
I have a friend (who wants to remain unnamed.) He ended up breaking up with his girlfriend of 5 months for some silly reason (I honestly never understood it.) Anyways, three months after their breakup she started dating a new guy. Immediately my friend called me up and wanted her back. He didn’t realize what he had until he saw her with another guy.
It’s essential to get to know yourself in every possible way – not just to be a successful single looking to move into a committed relationship, but to be a successful, unique individual mastering the art of being a very cool human being.  Excelling in your career, building a legacy, and developing intimate relationships with someone else will always be challenging if you don’t first have a solid knowledge of who you are.
If you cannot control your feelings, then I would suggest for you not to maintain a relationship with this person. Furthermore, I always think it’s vital to any starting point in dating or a relationship to be clear about each other’s expectations. If you are looking for a relationship, then let the other person know early on! If not, then say so. There have been too many times that I’ve seen a woman dating a man for months on end, only to end up getting hurt because it became a purely physical “modern relationship” in which the man never truly committed. The two never set the expectations for a relationship, or the woman sat in silence out of fear of being pushed away, hoping he would come around.
Hi, Me and my ex were together for 3 years and we went out drinking and I cheated on my girlfriend while she was in the room, we didn't have sex but we did do other stuff. I regret it massively and was hoping to ask her to marry me sometime this year. Its been over a week and I have done some of the mistakes of texting her and being needy. I received an email off her explaining to me how I hurt her and in a way shes glad it happened so she no longer has to waste time with me. She has told me on a few occasions she never wants to see me again or for me to contact her. I have recently done the NC rule. Does it look like this is a lost cause or will the NC rule work? How long should my NC rule be bearing in mind she told me she wants no contact from me. I am willing to wait as long as it takes to get her back.
It's common that someone continues to love a person even though they're no longer in love. It simply means that the passionate feelings she might have once had for you has started to fade, but it doesn't mean that she's stopped caring about you altogether (which is why she still shows care and concern). I suggest figuring out what went wrong and where she started to lose her spark for you and see if you are able to re-ignite that spark again.

"It's a turnoff for me when a girl pretends to like something just because I like it. 'You like the Knicks? Weird, I love the Knicks! Who's that tall one again? Who are you and what are your interests? If we disagree about stuff, let's have fun disagreeing about it and if any of it winds up being too important, then, well, it won't work out and that's fine." Miles P.
When you do talk, Mintz suggests using the sandwich technique: Give him a compliment, tell him your problem, then follow it up with another compliment. Example: "I really love having sex with you, and after we have sex I feel really close and connected. I know you really want to shower, but I really want to cuddle. Is there a compromise that will work for both of us?"
What is your advice with my next step? I’ve given myself a week away from him because of exams anyway and time to gather my thoughts. Should I bother bringing it up again, should I stop sleeping with him or should I keep sleeping with him in the hope that he will give me what I want eventually? I guess where I’m confused is that if I stop sleeping with him… he may see me as needy and full on considering it’s only 3 months in. But at the same time I don’t want to keep sleeping with him if it is just going to hurt me and he will never give me what I want.
I am dating a guy in a distance relationship for about three months, at the beggining we felt unbelievable connection soulmate like, he said he wants to marry and have children, he was caring and sweet (flowers, gifts, lots of time together). However I know he cheated on me at the very beginning of dating (I forgived him because that was very fresh relation).
My ex ended this 1st April (nearly a month ago). I begged. After day 1 he wanted to talk. After a week he never wanted to see me again. I did NC for 4 days until my sister told him to message me (I got sexually assaulted and needed emotional support). He messaged me. He seemed off. We spoke every day. Well I went one day (a couple of times) not replying. I found out I was pregnant. I told him. He was good about it. He told me to get rid of it. I got scared. Basically I messaged him saying I can’t. We argued about me needing him and he said he doesn’t know what to do. Yesterday I said I’m bored of feeling hated. I need my friend back. He said he doesn’t hate me. I went on about feeling hated and being scared of the abortion. I asked if he could see me. He YELLED at me. I ignored him (which is what he wanted me to do all month he even said I went crazy) but 10 minutes later he messaged me back calmer and with this solution: He said I could see him (in Germany) if I get the abortion and it’ll be the last time we ever see each other and we can have a proper goodbye. I went on saying I want to see him before. It ended up him saying he did hate me. I killed the guy I dated (because I said I missed what he used to be like). I messaged him yesterday and he said I can go and see him after the abortion. I asked if he still had access to my Facebook account he said no. I said I hope he is well. Also he told someone that he couldn’t stand me earlier today. Should I initiate NC properly now? Is there any hope? Why would he start off saying he didn’t hate me and now does? Why would he double message after I ignored him when he yelled? I’m so confused please help me.

maybe you should lead someone on for as long as you do before showing that kind of attention back. and you wonder why men think their not good enough for you resulting in pulling away. not being funny but too many women out there expect the men to try try and try only for THEM to get the so called ‘reward’. ever considered making it a mutual thing and not all female onesided letting the man feel like he has to earn some kind of reward..


So what's a woman to do? First, understand that your guy's hasty retreat post-sex may be because he doesn't understand how much he craves a connection with you. Then, it's time for another kitchen table sex talk, Mintz says. "If he's been jumping in the shower right after sex for the last 10 years, he's going to be really taken off guard if, the next time he goes into the shower, you all of a sudden say it upsets you," she explains. "Instead, set aside a time to talk when the situation has passed."
The thing to realize is that people with great relationships don’t have the great relationships because they know great relationship secrets or psychological loopholes of the male mind. Fundamentally, people in the best relationships all have one thing in common: they don’t have relationships with people who are not a good match for them. They don’t let them into their life.

I was clingy, had low self esteem, needy and jealous. The break up was shocking, he took a week and a half to tell me if he wanted space or if he wanted a break up. He was chatting with an 18 year old. He was telling me he doesn't love me anymore and when he hug me he said he wish he could feel by there is nothing, he withdrew from me emotionally 2 months before we broke up. When I was packing his stuff I found something he wrote that he didn't find me attractive. After the break up I was trying to convince him and did testing terrorism until he said to text him only when it's business related. So did one week no contact and called to talk to him about the outstanding bill I was still upset and sent a text to apologize. He called next day and he was upset and sent a text apologizing. I did 2 weeks no contact and called yesterday since he been telling ppl that I wasn't paying him attention and also thinks I do by love him. So I called and ask if we can meet weekend to talk and he said yes. He still have stuff at my place and he coming to pick some up. Today I went to his work to get my keys from him because he still had my keys. He couldn't look at me but did when he hand me my keys, I was acting happy. He said so whenever I needn't get something from the house inbred to contact you and I replied yes I am paying the rent and so I went and havnt made contact however he said he will come weekend. My ex came over for some of his stuff was amazed how the house looked, I did some rearranging. He said twice that the house looks nice and that I looked happy and then stated that he was probably the one holding me back. He said this about 2 times, the second time he said it I ask why he is saying something like that and he said he said he know perhaps he just feels guilty and so I told him that he wasn't holding me back and then he notice I had a mini burn on my hand and ask me what happened I told him I got burnt from the stove. And so ..
You hate cricket but pretend to follow it just for your boyfriend. If this has been going on for months, and one fine day you lose it and scream, “I just hate this game!” Be ready for the guy to scream back that he doesn’t like your chicken biryani (though he loved it last week). Consider this a turning point. Shah explains, “The first phase of the relationship is rosy. The real test is when you start speaking up frankly and that is the phase of acceptance. In this phase, you want the other person to accept you as well as be your own self in different situations. The Reiss Wheel Theory of Love states that the second phase is when the worst in people shows up. Things such as their limitations and how the other person takes it calls whether you want to continue or give up.”
You can’t rely on sex and sex alone to make your man commit. This also works the other way round, you can’t use sex as a weapon and tell your man that the sex will stop until he commits as this won’t work either. The key here is to build your emotional bond with him by enjoying doing other things together that doesn’t involve sex. This could be going out for dinners, hitting the gym together or travelling together.
So many red flags! He seems abusive. For starters, he shouldn’t be calling you names and putting you down. And the fact that he dislikes your being independent and ought to be cleaning or cooking for him is so sexist, I can’t even… All this leads me to believe he will be physically and more emotionally abusive as time goes by. Run as far away as possible. I know it’s hard, but I don’t see your situation getting better. Stay safe.
This particular relationship advice is for women exclusively. Big mistake women make is thinking that their man can read their thoughts and should “just know” when they are angry, hungry, tired or upset about something that happened at work.  Even the most intuitive man cannot know what’s inside your head.  Use your communication skills to express your feelings.  It will make everything easier and you won’t end up harboring resentment because your man had no idea you wanted him to pick up pasta for dinner instead of pizza.  
On the last day of our holiday this week my boyfriend expressed how he didn't find us compatible and still loved me but not in the way to be with me anymore. He said he was feeling it for a while hoping the holiday would prove him wrong but an argument on holiday confirmed his feelings. He has changed his relationship status to hidden but has still kept it as in relationship with me. I love him and really want him back and agreed to being friends because I know he's going through a lot of personal things. What do I do to win him back?

hi kevin..my ex broke up with me after 5 years that we've been together. it has been 3 months since she left, i have been chasing her since then but now i want to do NO CONTACT. do i still have a chance after every i did to chase her? i became needy, desperate and insecure before we broke up because i was working abroad, when i arrived home she broke up with me and i was devastated because i haven't seen her for 7 months. i tried to chase her but she ignored me all the time. i left my country again to work, I tried to send her messages when I left. she's responding but she's acting cold and trying to avoid me. now i decided to do the no contact, do i still have a chance to win her back??
So many women come to me and say “Apollonia, he was so into me in the beginning.” This could be a sign of a man getting the thrill from the chase and simply getting bored easily. This type of man I call “the snake”. This man will call you daily, text you hourly, and talk about how beautiful you are and how happy he is to have met you. He might even go that extra mile and mention that he’s looking for a relationship. But the difference with this relationship is that he is all in, right away, and it seems to good to be true. What I mean by “all in” is that it’s hot and heavy early on, and sometimes you feel like you can’t even catch a breath. You might get excited and think oh my, he is so amazing, but let’s examine his actions. In the end, it fizzles out as quickly as it began. As we are talking about why men pull away and what to do, let’s analyze these common things:
well after 8 yrsxon and off many living with him he came back from a trip and changed i suspect he had a new friend.. i hung in there even no sex and he keptclooking at my body weird like… never seen this .. i had mostly to initiate affection but hed return it hold me at night then long weekend he drastically changed for the worse.. no more us just ai I I i had to chase him for help he already said hed do heckeot stsying in other rooms when he said good morning downstairs i had a bad face he screamed at me i have an attitude lroblem then it escalated down more still held at nite something off clutching his phone then i saw a skype overseas girl offline x time ago om his contact which take it back to exactly when he shifter … anyway weekend got worse my mistake LEAVe him alone cause i know hed not answer if i asked u met someone it felt like i was child and he didnt want to be there .. he snapped at me couple xs and i try push him away when he came to bed try hold me crazy!!! i should of just wuietly left made any excuse would been fine if he stsrting with someone else id see it unfold instead got worse i try say i going b4 roads get bad weird!! he said no u can go then he said WAIt he go get beer then he came back Entirely changed haply dislosition said ok u can stay… did he make a call got it out of the way so now i wasnt in the way timing for europe for bedtime there was right… i saidsaid i told job he asked where? which location??? i got suspeciuos why he NEVer asks my job and hes been like im dead and gone all weekend why ask maybe he didnt want me to poo in with my key if he wants to call her again timing right so i asked why honey ? he EXOlodED !!!! said cant i answer simole wuestion??? stormed out of house… said now u probably thing i go bar look younger girls! i never mentioned that… later i i went to bar calm took him back and he disappeared into gsrabe smoke i passed out i awoke 4 am hit him yelling Im leaving i m lesving i cant take it! he woke furious Good go dont ever come back and take ur stuff leave key I upset he got up i chased aroudn 3 stories house he didnt want to tak ran away was most disgusting humiliating thing my g’friend said he was oushjng u away mayne not have her yet conflicted never tell u make u fell its u now he has excuse u said U R Leavkng! exactly what he repeated u want to go ok i finally gave up last words “ u act like u seeing someone “ response “ sure i got 2 or 3” then i walked out into the nite got sick He sent text 2 days let me know when u get ur stuff Hell arrange it! DOORs are locked” i went home i sent 5 days i havnt been able clem he said text ok then iasked him drop me things He made it look like i broke it off it was cry for answers!!!! i ve never heard from him since i sent its raining to start conversation about my patio rain No answer week now HE is perfect about texting no matter in world he is always answers me… he is very sicseessful had power money younger travels skis and this women live where his office is in erope and younger femenist HaHa thatsweird! I thonk he flew away with her maybe had it planned???

Instead, you want him to feel excited for you and tell you to have a great time. That, of course, he’ll miss you, but the anticipation of your return is part of the fun. You want his encouragement, support and, most of all, his trust. If you don’t have it, you’ll be ‘that’ girl with the boyfriend who rings every hour and makes everyone else wait while he gets his reassurance fix.

Perhaps it would be good for you to also do the same, and show him that you're doing just as well. If he's lost the spark with you over the course of the relationship and you want him back, you're going to have to find a way to re-create that spark again (physical attraction, emotional attraction, etc) and your best chance would be when you meet him again to pick your stuff up.

Keep him on his toes a little to make him wonder where you stand sometimes. Asking him what he is doing every minute of every day and planning things to do without giving him the opportunity to say yes or no can be signs you are becoming clingy and falling too easily for him. As we all know, it should be a mutual chase between the man or the woman. If the balance is off, it becomes too easy for him to take you for granted.

It would seem like the bond you share with him is definitely stronger than with the girl, and she could simply be an escape mechanism that he turned to every time he wants to run away due to his depression. With the family, living together, and even having a connection, you should try talking to him about it with regards to getting back, or at least the idea of it.
Look hot on social media.. In this day and age, as soon as you start talking to a potential boyfriend, you’ll add him on Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and the like. It’s how everyone keeps an eye on everybody else nowadays, so you can bet your bottom dollar that he’ll be stalking you on social media just as much as you’re stalking him. Make sure you’re on top form when you post your #selfieoftheday and I promise that he’ll be putty in your hand.
'Never look back' That's what they say, right? And most of us fully subscribe to this. Exes are exes for a reason, aren't they? And up until last year, I was the world's biggest advocate of leaving the past in the past. I've never stayed friends with any of my exes (because I think there is literally no point) and I'd certainly never considered getting back with one of them. Hell no.
You'll have to try and figure out what it was that made him break up so suddenly with you before you can determine the steps to take. For the time being, focus on self-recovery and pick yourself up from the breakup and perhaps even come to terms with it. If not, you won't be able to take the proper steps in trying to win him back. You can apply no contact for now, and when you've recovered, to attempt in re-connecting with him. Hopefully by that stage he would have unblocked you and be more receptive towards you.
It works better with guys you know in real life, but if you’re having trouble getting started then pick your favorite actor. The important part is that you do this once per day, and that you really stick with it. It might not seem like it’s doing much at first, but in reality it’s detoxing your mind consciously and unconsciously from your ex, and putting you in a much better mental state.
×