You should let your partner know the things that you like and admire about them. You need to tell them about those qualities that make you proud of him. Make him realize his strengths to make him feel good about himself. One of the secrets of a long and fulfilling relationship is keeping the appreciation alive for your partner. Showing appreciation will work wonders in the relationship.
My gf of about 3 years and I have broken up "for good" as of 2-3 weeks ago. We've been off and on for those 3 years, mostly due to (unintended) pressure on my part to advance the relationship. We never officially dated, or really called each other gf/bf, despite what I had felt — which shouldn't be a big deal, but didn't help things either. Those things aside, we were best friends, relying on each other for feedback on our work, talked about and were involved with each other's lives, both of us approaching our mid 30s. We found ourselves in a cycle of being together, since being with a friend is easy, then everything coming to a head, breaking up for a time, and drifting back into each other. But we always made each other laugh, we bonded over big and small things, and ... this break has been very difficult for me. We'd said I love you several times. We were highly compatible sexually. But when it came time to talk about the future, she'd put up walls, if she even talked at all. It was strained. She has issues with her parents' divorce when she was young, and her father was manipulative and untrustworthy. I have my own issues with parents who weren't in love, so there was some common ground in some way. I said I understood where she was coming from and suggested going to therapy together toward the end, but it didn't hold.
My relationship was going very fine. It’s been 3 years now and everything was smooth. Ours is a long distance relationship but the trust issues and other such issues which a long distance relationship generally faces, never came up. Three days back, out of the blue, he said he wants to be single for a few months, no relationship and all, he wants to concentrate on his career and get some stability in his life. Till then I am his good friend and back support and it’s just a matter of few months. He won’t be able to talk to me because he said he wants to punish himself for being so rude. After this message he is not even replying to my message till now. I am worried what is going on and why is he doing this. As everything was perfectly well two days back then why all these decisions. I am scared and I don’t want to let him go anywhere.
"While there are two sides to every story, there are often a few factors that are highlighted within a breakup," says sexologist Megan Stubbs. "What makes this time different than the time before? And how will you communicate that to your partner in a way that might make them open to a second chance?" Try to be as neutral as possible in your recollections. Seeing your part in a breakup can help you figure out whether it's a good idea to give things a second shot.
Making your man commit can take time and effort. You want to send him signals that you are ready to take the relationship further but at the same time don’t want to overdo it so it becomes an obsession or pressurizing. Don’t let the relationship become boring, keep an element on fun and excitement in it by doing something new together, going on nights out or trying something new in the bedroom.
Did you know that you can have a direct effect on his testosterone levels? By making him feel respected, admired and manly, his testosterone levels will rise… as will his sex-drive. By making him feel weak and small, his testosterone levels will decrease along with his sex-drive. You want to become the fuel for his testosterone by making him feel loved, respected and needed.
Everyone enjoys a good mystery, and your special guy isn’t immune to that. If you want him to miss you, keep secrets to yourself. While there’s much to be said about being completely upfront, if your goal is making a man miss you, this isn’t the plan to follow. You don’t have to share your life story in one sitting. Guys like a little mystery and don’t want to know everything about you right away. In fact, that’s how a lot of them lose interest in what could have been a potential love connection. And it never hurts to surprise him with spontaneity. Invite him to do something unexpected. Ditch the dinner and movie and try an outdoor adventure. Guys stray when they’re bored so keep him on his toes and interested. If you’re fun to be around he’s going to want to be around you more and will definitely miss you when you’re not around.
I was with my ex for 1 year and 3 months. Before our one year anniversary he told me he doesn’t feel the same way about me as he did before. He just said he fell out of love with me. I begged for him to stay and he stayed with me. Our relationship seemed fine but then in January he became super distant and I had a feeling he cheated on me so I asked him and he was honest about it. We broke up for a day then we got back together and on February16th he broke up with me. Almost every time I saw him before that I made the mistake of trying to figure out why he didn’t love me and how to fix it. I kept asking him serious questions and answers to fix the problem. I thought it would magically make him love me again. After he broke up with me I begged for him to stay for about a week and I am now trying no contact. Will no contact work? Should I just give up? Is it too late? I love him do much
I’ve been “hanging out” with this guy off and on for two years. Before meeting him I read books on this exact subject. I’ve been married and divorced twice so I wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing if I got involved with a man again. I’m very opened about my feels I always have been. I like that about myself but in the past I’ve also been pushy wanting things to happen right away. Now with this guy I’m “hanging out” with has pulled away a lot in the 2 yrs I’ve been seeing him, but he had always come back. I think it’s because I always gave him his space. Since being married and divorced twice taking things slow was fine with me. Just recently though, I couldn’t help myself and I told him that I loved him. I thought for sure he was going to pull away, but he didn’t not right away anyways. In fact, we talked about making it exclusive. I was so happy because it’s what I had been waiting patiently for two years for. Recently, we had a two year anniversary of when we met so being the person I am I gave him a card. I said a paragraph of very heartfelt things. I knew this would definitely make him pull away from me and I was right. Even though I know when it’s going to happen it still doesn’t make it easy to deal with. I love him and I want him to know this. I want him to know that I accept him for who he is. I feel the only way I’m going to get him to trust me is by letting him have his time away from me. When he comes back he’s different, for instance, he more loving sweeter. I believe him when he says he’s happy with me. He too has been in difficult relationships in the past that broke his heart. Love isn’t meant to go fast. Love takes time. I’m glad it’s going this way even though it’s hard because I came from abusive background and it’s why my marriages ended. This guy inspires me to grow and find myself. I’ve started back to school at 43 yrs old because of his encouragement. I don’t feel I have to be someone I’m not when I’m with him. I feel safe when I’m with him. I want him to feel the same when he’s with me. I feel that’s what true love is all about. I may love him but he’s not my whole world, he’s only part of it.
I have been wondering how to make him love me again, realise he made a mistake and give a second chance. It is even harder as he is in another country. Plus, I really don’t think the NC rule would work on him, because I have been the one who asks question in our relationship, who kept the conversation going when we lived apart for a few weeks. I believe if i implement it now, it will just give him the opportunity to move on, to forget me, because he has a lot going on otherwise (studies, friends, handball, parties…). Did i also ruin my chances by begging for it so much?
Right now, no contact and spending this time to work on personal issues as well as personal happiness is the best advice you can get. If he's giving you the cold shoulder, reaching out any further will only push him away. Additionally, given the length of the relationship, you need to spend this time picking yourself up from the breakup, addressing the issues you felt contributed to it, and getting yourself to the right place emotionally before you even consider reaching out or trying to win him back.
I’ve been separated for 2 years now and was always trying to read about relationships, and understand what went wrong in my situation. So one after another, and onother so so book purchase lead me finally to your book! I pushed myself and finally started dating again. I’m dating this guy for one month now and your articles are absolutely priceless and of a high value to me! I would even really like to have a session of your advice in person, if it’s possible:), maybe you visit Boston any time soon?:)
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awesome and this is beautiful writer on 4 Ways to Make Him Commit and Want Only You. it’s explained many things about the relationship. I’m enjoyed yo read and understand every each word of those sent on this article, especially about ” I can clearly see now, years later after all the emotion and attachment is completely gone, we never would have reached that level of intimacy that is ultimately valuable to me in a relationship. I can use for make in status of my facebook and many friends like that.
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Studies have shown that 90% of rebound relationships don’t work out in the long run so the odds are probably in your favor. There is no reason to start harassing him or the girl he is dating. Under no circumstances will you contact him. In fact, DO NOT CONTACT HIM OR HER. The further away from the breakup your ex gets the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. This means he will forget the bad times and remember the good times.
Why is it that men get to retreat when the tuff gets going? Sure I want to run away from my problems in life too but I don’t.ever! I don’t need to find an excuse or make one because I get scared, then retreat like I’m some little baby. No one has that right, put ur big boy/girl pants on and be a responsible, and dedicated person to the choices you made with ur life. I am so sick of people retreating because they get scared. Get over yourselves.
I guess I made the mistake of... i dont even know..... getting TOO comfortable? I mean I got to the point where I was literally being affectionate with her all the time like a boyfriend. Hand on the lap, pecks, hugs, and she didn’t respond in a negative way, dont get me wrong. The problem was, as it was before (when we broke up) that she has a lot on her plate. And I mean a lot, financially struggling, an exhausting job (night shift mind you), she finally moved out on her own which caused an even bigger strain financially, her family lives in another country, and she is currently searching for a second job. So naturally, being affectionate, or reciprocating affection is the last thing on her mind.
Reason #5. Maybe you read on the internet that you just need some time apart. The negative emotions need to die down. Your ex is angry, and once he stops being angry, he will realize what a mistake he has made. In the meantime you can improve and become a much better version of yourself. Right? Wrong. No 30, 60 or 90 days of no contact or space can heal a broken relationship. Granted, it can make anger dissipate and make people nostalgic. But it cannot fix deep problems in relationships. Most likely the two of you are simply incompatible right now. It will take a lot of experience interacting with other people before you can possibly embark on a new and healthier relationship with your ex. But when that time comes, you may not want your ex-partner back anymore.
If you sense that all your efforts to improve your relationship are not bearing fruit, don’t delay the inevitable. Yes, being single can appear scary at first, but better alone than stuck in a relationship that is draining the joy and spark out of you. You don’t want to wake up at fifty or sixty years old to discover that you’ve wasted your love on a guy that never appreciated what you had to offer.
I met a guy whilst travelling in Australia, and we dated for four months and travelled together the whole time. He said he loved me many times, that I made him feel things he never felt before and couldn’t stand the thought of me being with anyone else. Things felt so perfect. He made me feel like he wanted me so much. We are both from the same area in the UK and planned to carry things on when getting home. The last time I saw him at the airport, he told me he loved me and would be waiting for me when I got home in 2 weeks. However, as soon as he arrived home, he told me he changed his mind and didn’t want to commit to a relationship because of work and because his life is too busy. In the same phone call he also told me that he didn’t want me to get with anyone else. I love him so much, I started no contact as soon as he broke up with me and we haven’t spoken since (its been 10 days). I accepted his decision and told him that I couldn’t be friends right now as it was too hurtful, and that he had no right to expect me to wait around and not get with anyone else. He got very angry at this and called me bitter and childish. I don’t understand how his feelings changed so quickly. We still stayed friends on social media. I upload photos of me having a great time with friends, never post anything negative (although deep down i’m really suffering). I’m focusing on me, have taken up a new hobby and started hitting the gym more often. I just love him and miss him so much, every morning I hope today is the day he will message to say he made a mistake and wants me back. Is there any chance he will come back soon? or eventually? I don’t know what to do to make this happen. Any advice would be great.