If you want your man to love you more, you should make a point of showing him daily with random acts of kindness, just make sure they are specific. So if he loves grilled cheese sandwiches, make sure you cook that up for lunch. Perhaps he’s a movie buff so grab him a few passes to the theater. If he always has dry lips, make sure he’s got Chapstick in his pockets when he needs it. And if he loves to have the boys over for hockey, you should make plans on the hockey nights and let him know he should invite them over to hang out.


I believe very strongly that outside influences have some bearing on the breakups. For example money problems, problems at work , health problems, etc. I believe these contribute to the breakdown of the relationship. If we don't deliberately pay attention and put your loved one first. Then your are heading down a real steep hill and soon you will fall off the cliff.
“Hi! I’ve been a fan of your work for over five years now. When I broke up with my ex, I was devastated. Then I read a lot of your stuff about getting your ex back. It changed my thinking and my thinking changed my life. I worked on myself. I started doing makeup, became a makeup artist, launched my makeup line, and have started to get recognition. I feel so good about myself now and I have no regrets. Now my ex wants me back but I realized I don’t want to go back because I’m moving forward. Thanks for everything you’ve shared and written.”

So when I hear someone tell me “I want my ex back because they are the most amazing person in the world and quite possibly my soul mate” I always remind those people that they are pretty amazing too! If your ex fell for you, if you were able to inspire and seduce them the first time around, it means that you have tons of qualities to offer as well.

Ok so me and my ex broke up 4 months ago. I did 35 days of no contact and she tried to text me 4 times during that time. Eventually her best friend texted me and told me that my ex was really upset and missed me so the next time my ex tried to contact me I responded. She said sorry for ending our relationship and that she wanted things to go back to the way they were before. However, she did not explicitly say that she wanted us to get back together. I chose to doubt that, but I wanted to get back together so I forgave her and we have been in constant contact for 2 months texting every day for at least an hour and she seems closer in person than she did before. Recently I learned that her best friend told my ex that I was trying to get back together with her, but she has been acting the same if not closer than before. Should I take this as a sign that she does want to get back together or should I still try to find out more?

I know you feel hurt and you probably feel worthless right now because feel like your ex doesn’t want you. You are eager to feel loved and hopefully ‘My ex will know that I’m in another relationship and my ex will feel jealous, and will beg to come back.’ STOP. That’s not self-love. That’s called my-ex-is-still-the-center-of-my-universe. Everything you do is because you want to get your ex back. But actually, everything you do from now on, should be focused on yourself. 


The way you communicate with her via text and in calls will need to change. Given that you’re in a breakup you’ve probably been doing it completely wrong, replying instantly to her messages even though she takes hours to get back to you. This has to stop, and you need to start communicating in a more attractive way, after the no contact period. That’s why I’m going to teach you how to get your ex-girlfriend back fast by text message, although be aware, texts are only part of it.

If you truly believe that your ex should be in your life, then you need to start focusing on the life that you have to offer. You need to love yourself with such ferocity that anybody else’s love is just the cream on the pie. You are your own pie. Once you start thinking of yourself like that, the people around you will notice and he will start to miss you.
On the flip side, some men will pull away just as much if their date strongly insists that they must pay their own share. As callous as this may sound, most of us have egos bigger than Mt. Kilimanjaro, yet are as fragile as a fly. Trying to assert dominance in this situation may make your date run away. Even though you’ve done nothing wrong. Yes, I confess… we can be just as confusing to you, as women are to us.
For example, imagine being excited about an upcoming girl’s weekend away. Your man spends the week before the trip telling you not to talk to guys, to be careful about where you go at night and to make sure you ring him twice a day. Then, he does some research and decides the city you’re visiting is dangerous, the traffic sucks and a massive storm might hit.
Understanding that you do not need a man in order to be the best version of yourself is crucial. Loving yourself and doing exactly what makes you happy is key, which means that you need to know how to be happy alone. When you have this type of mentality, you will be able to spot red flags instantly and become more admirable. If a man wants to be with you, he will make it known throughout the relationship. He will make it known in healthy ways of properly courting you. He’s not going to send you the late night 11 pm or 1 am text for you to come over and “watch a movie.”
If you want him to miss you, if you want him to realize what he’s walked away from, then you need to make him realize what he’s given up and you’re not doing that, if you’re still giving him the goods after he’s ended the relationship. No, you need to think of it like this, if he broke up with you, then he broke up with all of the great benefits that being with you came with. If you think that letting him into your bed will help to make him miss you, then you’re wrong. The only thing happening after that is his respect for you depleting.
Hey I am currently dealing with this with my boyfriend I just came across these tips I don’t think its too late to try. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years and we have conceived two children within our relationship a 4year old girl and 2year old boy. Lately my boyfriend has been under tremendous stress and I haven’t acknowledged that so I was adding on to his stress by arguing and nagging I ended up pushing him away now and I think for good this morning before he left he said hes done for good because I kept forcing to fix the problem. I’m struggling on giving him his space because we live together in a studio its hard to walk past him everyday and just not talk to him. How do I give him his space and just have distance I am a stay at home mom so I don’t work and I don’t leave the house I’m home with my kids. Any tips on how to enforce the space so he can clear hos mind I know he loves me dearly hes just very stressed out and wants to clear his mind on his own he said so himself.
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To improve your self-esteem, concentrate on your strengths in all areas: emotional, social, talents and skills, appearance, and any others that are important to you. For example, you might have natural empathy, the ability to make people feel understood, a talent for baking, and gorgeous hair. Focusing on the positive and ignoring the negative can help you to feel adequate and valuable as an individual, especially when you connect the best parts of yourself to helping others.[9] If you feel useless, make yourself useful! Take your natural empathy and talent for baking and bake some fresh cookies for your elderly neighbors.

Being away from the love of your life is hard, for both of you. It may be that some days you miss him more than he misses you, this is only natural. The more we progress through life, we start to understand that sometimes the smallest things matter. Although he may not have said how much he misses you and wants to be with you, being in love and in a relationship is much more than simply speaking – it’s about we act too. Be brave and tell him how you feel, he probably feels the exact same way!

I accept that the break-up was the best decision as it served as the revelation I needed to get therapy. I have finally been diagnosed and am receiving help for my mental illness. I love him, genuinely, and I want to start a new, healthy relationship with him but he was so angry and hurt when I last spoke to him, and I'm afraid that he won't respond to me if I reach out after 'no contact' or allow me to show him my progress... It kills me that I've hurt him so badly, he means so much to me and has done so much to help me.

You put your self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back burner just so you could be with your ex. Sometimes, people do it just to hold on to the possibility of being with their ex in the future. It’s a direct consequence of begging and pleading. It makes your ex think “Well, if you are that desperate to be with me, then you must accept everything that I want.”
a. Learning from the affair: Peter wrote out the series of misteps that he had allowed himself to take down the road to sexual betrayal. He listed what had motivated each step — and also what would have been far better options for responding to his concerns at each point in the pathway. He identified the specific situational, thoughts and feeling cues that triggered each step, and the alternative action he would take in the future in response to each cue.
Risk factor: Medium to high. If he's a jerk, he may look at this as an opportunity for some bed-hopping, single-guy abandon. He may find he likes it better when you're not around and move to make it a permanent condition. If that happens, he's not worth the price of your return ticket. Besides, if you haven't had The Talk, no one's stopping you from staying on an extra week and having that little vacation fling with a lusty young cabana boy. If that's what you want, go for it.
After our breakup she insisted that we stay friends. I agreed. I tried my best to be normal/casual/happy but every night after talking for 2-3 hours on call, i used to start asking her to try again to which she said no because she is very happy now and feels lighter. 2 weeks in and it had become too difficult for me to accept that she sees me as just a friend. I met up with her and told her that i have to walk away(total NC). We both cried and she told me she loves me and hopes “that we can be there for each other again when this is not between us”(I’m assuming she meant as friends).
Adam, amazing video, I am impressed! Please keep up the good work! I am a single woman and I have responded to a handsome man’s flirts after like 2 months of him making it more obvious…I have put the breaks on from the beginning and to my surprise he kept insisting and making it more obvious! Here is the catch: I have rewarded him by teasing him a bit and introducing myself and being bold a little bit, bc I wanted him to get a reward and to know what he’s been doing is what I like…however, once I got to feel a bit “more comfortable” and start making small conversations here and there ( every 2 weeks or so, when we run into each other), he now started to pull away slightly, and I didn’t do ANYTHING about it, literally, just being myself, feminine, relaxed, NOT bothered by his pulling away…NOW, this guy didn’t even ask me out, but his face lightened up, he couldn’t stop smiling, it was in his eyes, face, everywhere, of course I noticed how much he liked me…I am a bit confused now, bc he worked hard ( 2 months) to get my attention and get a reward ( me teasing him, introducing myself, giving him a sign that I like him too) to only create a bit of distance once I feel more comfortable! Given that we never went out ( he didn’t ask for a ph number or anything) what should I do? We run into each other when I get off gym and he is at work! Last night I had seen him squeezing his head after me when I passed by (at his work place) and he seemed to careless about him being at work and have his employees seeing him doing that squeezing head after a woman but care far more FOR ME NOT TO SEE HIM squeezing his head to check me out! What happens? he made it plain obvious BEFORE for 2mo, now he seems to create distance but checks me out secretly ( or so he thinks :)). Should I say something given taht he didn’t even make a move on me, or should I allow his teh space he seems to want? I want to give this man a real chance, I liked his persistence :).
“Women are open. They believe, they subscribe, and they go all in. They will do what it takes to meet the man of their dreams and put themselves out there,” says professional matchmaker, Susan Trombetti.  “They are more social, they are happy a lot of the times, and in this generation of women, they are the best version of themselves: educated, great friends, independent, great careers, and great family. They have a lot to offer someone.”
For years Peter had reacted to Paulette's complaints about him with defensiveness. When he did allow himself to hear information about what he was doing that troubled his wife, he'd get mad at himself.  Listening to her had escalated his agitation and distress instead of leading to learning. Now Peter decided he'd better address her concerns, beginning by writing out a list of all he could recall. "Information is power," he reminded himself to ease the sting of shame and guilt. 

Me and my exboyfriend for almost 3 years, we even made plans for getting marry, how the ceremony was gonna be and even picked our Kids name in case I get pregnant in the future. He told me that has been texting with another women that he met on internet for over 7 weeks and he said that nothing happened because she lives in another state but still that he had thought about cheating on me. He told me that he can’t forgive himself for what he did to me and it seems that he also kind of lost interest in me because he says that when I text him or call him he preferred doing something else than that until I call him again and then he will pick up the call. Because of work I moved to another country till February of next year and we were working pretty good in the long distance relationship and planned that once I was done with that we were gonna move together. He says that he still loves me but that what he did to me is not fair, that the name I started dating years ago was a good guy that was always proud of himself about being a good boyfriend and now he doesn’t wrong why went wrong. He asked me for some break time and when I asked how long I have to wait, he said that he doesn’t know and that I should keep living my life. I still have my personal belongings in his house so anytime I’m gonna have to talk to him about it. I still love him even with what he did to me and I knew he was depressed so I kind of understand but I don’t know what should I do. I’m going back on May 2019.


I spent 6 years with my ex. We were young when we got together and we weren’t good at resolving conflict. But I truly believe we loved each other and that he is the right person for me. We both had a habit of ‘pulling away’. Push, pull, if it wasn’t him, it was me. By the end of it, it was dramatic. It was traumatic for me and him too because we didn’t know how to work it out. Since then we’ve both tried seeing other people. But somehow after 9 months we ended up back spending time together. Getting to know each other again. We started to get close… I never pressured him to be with me but I do love him. I’ve tried to be a lot more understanding of his space. Even his friends have said – ‘this is the best you guys have ever been’… But then shortly after he told me his friend had commented on our ‘changed friendship’ and how close we were getting, he attacked me saying I was getting too comfortable. I was so confused because he had been asking me to stay over and he said he was enjoying his time hanging out. That’s what we established it was. We’ve never put a label on anything and have been free to live our separate lives because of what we have been through there was no use rushing anything even a friendship. I was happy with that and I thought he was too.

So since the last meet up at his apartment. I left him alone. 6 days after not reaching out to him and trying to do the NC. He texts me late at night while I’m out with friends saying he misses me and if I could come over. I was dumb and called him an hour after I received the text and ask him why he wanted me over and if he was drunk. He said no that he had honestly just woken up and that he didn’t realize how late it was that he missed me and if I could come. I asked for what and he said to talk. I got my hopes up thinking he was gonna give me answer to thinking about us and giving us a chance. I further asked him what he wanted to talk about and then he became vague. Then I felt like it was just a late night booty call and told him that I wasn’t that type of girl and to not treat me as one. He then continued to ask if I would come over that we could talk but never said what about. He then was like forget it’s a bad idea and maybe we could tomorrow instead. I told him I was busy tomorrow but I’ll see. Tomorrow came and by the evening I texted him like an idiot I feel if he still wanted to talk and he was like it’s not a good idea, I’m sorry. I replied with I guess we know why you really texted last night and he stop replying after that. What do I do now? I want him but then again now I feel like I shouldn’t
It depends on what your goal is - whether to win her back or move on. If it's to win her back you have to ask yourself, by pointing out her faults or ignoring her, would it help with the situation and bring you closer to winning her back? As much as she may have hurt you previously, if you want to get back together with her, you're going to have to first let go of the negative thoughts and avoid harping on them.
Answer: Remind him what he was chasing you for. Show him that just because he’s won over you doesn’t mean he gets to keep you. Instead of groveling and chasing him, turn the tables and make him work to get you back. If you remind him that you can be just fine without him, he’s likely to begin the hunt and chase all over again. [Read: How to keep a guy interested in 30 super sexy ways]
Here is where he gets to see the beautiful woman you are in person. He gets to witness your positive vibe and new and improved look in the flesh. Like the reach out stage, there are no “rules” here. The light and fun vibe you brought to the conversations you’ve previously had should shine through just as bright. If your positive vibe is derived from genuine positive thoughts and emotions, interacting with him should be easy and effortless.
The surprise does not have to be expensive, mind you.  Sure, a surprise weekend away to Paris will likely get you major points, but the surprise can also be as simple as booking an activity such as a cooking class without her knowledge.  It is the act of taking the initiative to plan something creative and fun – and doing it entirely on your own – that lets her know she’s got a keeper.
As a child, you might have dreamt that your prince charming was going ride on his white horse and then whisk you away. Chances are, that won’t happen, but this doesn’t necessarily mean you will not get the man of your dreams. The problem is that, if you idealize the man of your dreams all the time, it is only going to make the search difficult for you.
Hello, Im a guy (35) hes 20. After one year he has asked for "space". Apparently, he is seeing someone +-age after weeks of denial. Im still in love with him and this was bound to happen with our age gap and distance. Yet despite that, we had been meeting (with me obviously pleading embarrassingly with him to change his mind) . Now that he is in a relationship, are there any positive chances to get him back. Great read this article has been though and having gone through it eight days before i have never contacted him again and im eager to make it to at least 30 days, but what are the chances and is it ethical
Hi, He sounds as if he has a lot of his own insecurities and is deflecting them onto you. He is constantly trying to change you, and tell you that you aren’t enough. You sound to me as if you are not comfortable in being yourself around him. You can’t petend to be someone else to please jom forever, so picture this you are trying to adapt yourself to who he wanrlts and he is still finding flaws. Aren’t you tired already,? he is damaging your self-esteem. There is someone out there , who you may or may not have met, that will adore you flaws and all, bit you have to love yourself enough to know when you are being tolerated , and ” handled”, not loved. This guy you are with, needs you a lot more than you need him, be careful not to allow him to force you to change into someone nobody wants, so thy he can keep you all to himself, while he used you. By that, I mean an insecure, unhappy person that doesn’t feel worthy of anything.
4. We are sad. And yes, men pull away when we are being sad or feeling down for some reason. We are waiting for you to come and ask “what’s wrong” and give us a hug. But if you don’t come we pull away even more. And more. And more until you come or we end up feeling that you don’t care about us. Men love empathic and loving womens. Even when we don’t admit it. Even most strongest alpha male wants to feel loved and cared when he feels weak and if you show us that you care we will love you forever. Seriously this isn’t a lie. Most simplest way to make a man stay true to you or love you is just to make him feel cared. Give him a hug when he needs it, tell him sometimes he still looks handsome and cool even when he’s getting older etc. I know that there is douchebags who will betray you no matter what you do or leave you, but real men want the same thing you do: to have that one loving partner in their life who makes them feel cared and loved every day.
It happens to many people, and usually for the reason that it's human nature to want what we can't have, resulting in the sudden burst of feelings in wanting him back upon realizing that he has actually walked away. I suggest that you remind yourself on why it didn't work out in the first place and stay logical about this matter, because this feeling you have for him is usually an illusion in most cases and doesn't last.
Chances are that you are here because you are still very much in love with your ex boyfriend. If this is the case you will likely be wondering how to make him want you back. When you listen to your friend at this time they will be telling you to get over him and move on with your life. This is a lot easier said than done and not the advice that you want to hear right now. If you really do believe that he is the right person for you, then you will have to do some work and not be dissuaded by well meaning friends. If you are determined that this is what you want to do, you will have to have a good plan. With the help of the experts, you will learn how to make him want you back again and even make his love for you stronger than it was before. You have to be proactive though, so let's get started. /injects>
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