My 3.5 year relationship with my girlfriend ended a week ago when she suddenly broke up with me. We are both divorced with kids and live in the same neighborhood. I have accepted much of what she said as my fault and am going to therapy and have joined a gym to get myself in a good place. I was emotionally withdrawn and ‘cold’ without realizing it and want to improve that for future relationships (with her or anyone). The major complication I think is with her 16 ½ year old daughter, who I sense was on the receiving end of when she was upset. I believe now this greatly contributed to the issue and without my being made aware, I didn’t have an opportunity to improve so it continued and the daughter is not seeing me as a positive future presence in their future.

...And then I got back with one of my exes. I know, it pains me to say it out loud. Not because they're the worst person on earth and I was ashamed, but because I went back on my word. My point is: it's easy to claim revisiting a former relationship is a bad idea and to dish out advice to your pals like you're the moral compass of the group, but when it happens to you, you realise actually it's not always such a ridiculous idea.


my story: met a lousy guy on tinder who promised to pick the stars from the sky for me, we had a few dates and i have to advise all the women out there to be careful especially with guys who get affectionate,caring, and future-planning too soon because it’s a cheap hoax to get the woman into having sex and then dumping her cold-turkey.if they realise the woman won’t have sex with them(like me)they run off and find other ‘candidates’ to lie to.my guy ‘friend-zoned’me to keep me hanging on because he thought that maybe he could one day drag me into the sheets but i ended the whole thing on that creepy liar.additionally i caught him with a few other girls so please ladies:pay attention
Getting a guy to commit isn’t that hard at all. You just need to know what you want and be bold enough to go after it. Some studies say that the word ’want’ is one of the most powerful words on the planet. And if you have been wondering what makes a man commit, then wonder no more.; just find little ways to make him 'want' you. Turn this demanding word into something sexy and use it to your advantage. Tell him what you want and when you want it. But don’t make it sound like you are a spoiled brat or like you are being bossy. Just make sure you give out the vibe of a confident woman whose views and wishes can’t be shaken just because you’re in love. Men like to rule but they love a woman who knows when to take control; he will love that, for sure.
The new girl backed off after a while, and I will admit after my ex got evolved things changed a little bit because I wasn't sure what she would do. I was kinda always looking over my shoulder as well as old WAR wounds came back. The thing is me and the new girl loved each other a lot and was on the same page, even talked about moving in together after only being together for a month. It seemed so effortless.
Make a major independent financial decision. Talk about buying a car, a plot of land, a house, or maybe a Cessna. The reason: You're making him aware that you don't need him to move your life forward. And if he asks you why you didn't consult him first about the decision, jokingly say, "It's not like we're married!" He'll have to respond with a request for clarification of exactly what he is to you, if he's going to have any say in your financial matters. That sounds like the start of The Talk.
But it’s not good enough to pretend to be less interested, you actually need to take some steps to take your mind off of him, what he’s doing and what he’s thinking. Get busy with work or school, stop contacting him as much, and don’t be so quick to respond to his messages and calls. He will wonder what happened to make you back off, and it will definitely make him want to commit.
To illustrate this, researchers asked sleep deprived students to remember a list of words. They were getting a high score on all the negative words (81%) but when it came to the positive ones or neutral ones, they were only getting about 31% of these right. Dr.Robert Stickgold has conducted similar experiments on sleep and memory.[5] Now you know why people are always in a bad mood when they do not get enough sleep.
Show him that being with you is a fun, positive experience. When he sees that you didn’t let your emotions overrun you and senses that you didn’t place such a high importance on his actions, he’ll be motivated to stay close and connected with you. He’ll recognize that he’s with a woman who respects his needs while taking care of her own feelings. And he’ll appreciate that you didn’t blame or criticize him.

my ex boyfriend and i were together for almost two years when he broke up with me. he said he needed space and i didnt give it to him abd he was stressed about money and work. he said he wasnt happy and that there is no chance of getting back together. post break up i was really desperate texting him and calling. we work together so we have to see each other and he gives me a lot of mixed signals but he is flirting with another girl. please help me get him back
Did you know that you can have a direct effect on his testosterone levels? By making him feel respected, admired and manly, his testosterone levels will rise… as will his sex-drive. By making him feel weak and small, his testosterone levels will decrease along with his sex-drive. You want to become the fuel for his testosterone by making him feel loved, respected and needed.
Last year I broke up with my girlfriend due to many misunderstandings and I remember very well how hard I had been fighting to get her back. She changed her number, changed her job so that I don’t visit her office and none of her friends would give me any information about her. The only thing I could do was to go find help from anywhere, so i looked for a way to get her back then a friend recommended me to contact lorddonaldspelltemple@ gmail. com that he will help me and as my friend said, lorddonaldspelltemple helped me to bring back my girlfriend just in 3 days, I now have her back and this is the biggest joy of my life
Hi. My ex bf broke up with. Me about 6 weeks ago after about 4 yrs. We had a colse emotional and physical connerction, at least i felt so, and our relaionship was gettind great the last 4 month and we had a plan to marry. But suddnly he said that he can't do it anymore, he said he had cheated on me several times with meaningless sex bcz he wasn't satisfied with our sex, he said i could never accept him and kept arguing with him frequently(i agree i was so insecure) and he said he became who i wanted but didn't. Give him what he wanted so he wasn't happy and he was always stressful. Siad his good behavior recently was because he didn't want to upset me and was fake- which i dont believe. He says he loves me but love is not enough and he behaved me really nice when i was acting crazy till now. I do regret my behavior and i want him back. I wish he doesnt give up hope for me.
Getting a man to miss you can be tiring, so make sure you have the patience for it. Also, remember, men love to chase you, so give him something to work for. And if that's not enough to get a guy to miss you, we recommend you read James Bauer's Respect Principle, his best-selling relationship guide basically hypnotizes men to fall and stay in love with you with 1, dead-simple tip.
You'll have to let him realize the mistake on his own before he willingly decides to come back. Not every situation can be controlled when it comes to a relationship because it requires effort from both parties. If the relationship you had with him was a meaningful one, despite the downward cycle it has taken the past few months, he should begin to realize who he values more after some time apart from you.
Natalie, I have just seen your text, I am not sure how it went since December but the best to do in this case (always), I know that it`s really hard, because you can`t focus on something else but him. You have to disappear, so he will release you are not taken for granted to him. Men can say anything but they get crazy about when the women is doing the same thing or even worst :). He has too feel that he missing you, and beside that focus on your own life and on yourself, the happiness should come from yourself and not from him or any other person. Just step back and see what happens, he will be eager to be the same as before believe me ;) and success!
Hello well .. This guy has Been pursuing me for almost 3yrs. We were intimate, spent all of our time together. He does for me, we go out in public. We talked about marriage and kids together everthing.. He knew that i wasnt emotionally ready at the time yet he assured me it was safe to open up and be kind…Then when i finally do and say lets do this he tells me no and starts to pull away… Now he says he not ready and not intrested anymore…what happened?
If you’re still stuck in feeling needy and out of control, you’re not going to see the necessity of bringing that value to the relationship because you’ll still be fixated on your own worries, your fears, your insecurities. And with that fixation, you won’t be able to put energy into the relationship, you’ll have wasted all your energy needlessly worrying about stuff.

This is Dana I just want you to help with my issue. I met a guy I obsorved his character he is genuine, and kind to everyone. The thing is that he is making me to feel that he likes me but when I started to talk him as a friend, he just telling me tat he got crush on some one else & her age is 22 and few days after he Says tat he is loving a girl from the same premises and she is 24. I didn’t understand what he is trying to tell. My question for you is did he making to jealous or he just wants avoid me.
Our third attempt—and, you guessed it, the ensuing breakup—was kind of a glitch in the space-time continuum. It was 2009, and at this point I’d realized Mary was not an easy person to please. I coasted through the relationship, and she called me out where other girls I’d been with brushed off my repeated bad behavior. Our second breakup had reinforced the notion that no relationship comes easy and you have to put in the work, but I still sucked.
It doesn’t really matter how it happens. Maybe he’ll reach out to you. Maybe you will initiate contact with him. Whichever it is, the key thing at this stage is to keep things casual. And this should be easy for you. You’ve already detoxed from the drama of the relationship, you’re working out, hanging out with friends, have probably been on a date or two, and are involved in new hobbies. Essentially,  your life doesn’t revolve around him or a relationship anymore. You’ve done the mental and emotional work to be fine with the outcome either way and there is no pressure.
Of course, the best thing that will be missed by guys are the extraordinary love and care that their girlfriends are giving them. If you really want your boyfriend to miss you deeply, then make him fall in love with you deeply. Always give him your tender loving care. Make him happy when he’s sad, be at his side when he needs support, nurse him when he’s sick, understand him when he makes mistakes, be faithful to him, and love him for who he really is.
If you and this man are only just dating (he’s not yet committed or even particularly emotionally attached to you) and he’s off somewhere and not returning your calls, and you send him this text saying “I am thinking about you I can’t forget you I remember every kiss” out of fear that ‘why isn’t he putting me FIRST?’ – then you’re not being vulnerable.
Commitment problems can come from a wide range of places. Perhaps they had a relationship that was horrible and their ex cheated on them. This would obviously make them hesitant to commit to someone else. They may also have parent issues that explain their commitment issues. First, you need to figure out why they are that way so you can tailor your behavior to make them want to commit. [Read: 13 signs he wants a relationship but has commitment issues]
And so I got ready while he was checking his email on the computer, pretending that I was going out and he ask if I'm going some where and I said yes. And then I tease him a bit about his hair since he havnt. After that he said I looked happy and I said I am, that stuff got shift these pass weeks. And when he came out the gate walking on the road he said it again that I looked happy and I said I am. And so since he doesn't have FB I texted him suggesting he get a fb account and add me, personally it would have been good if he saw some stuff I posted. Anyway he respond and said ''U look happy and like u trying to take care of yourself that's good. And no thanks i don't like fb. I forgot to ask does my friend mother still have that place for rent?" "I hate being by the apartment feel like a kid there. i just need a place and some time to myself to let out my rage and sadness the way i want I've been holding back since they in the house all the time " I did something stupid, so my cousin and been searching net and she found something called the Second chance letter and so I wrote one and gave him when he came to pick up some of his clothing. I wrote it just as explained, saw a sample and did it that way, In the beginning I put that I accepted the break up and then apologize that I didn't showed that I appreciated him and then the part stating that good things been happening and someday would like to tell him about it but right now we both still needing space. The next day in the morning, he texted and said he read it and doesn't mind sitting down and talking someday. Then in the night he sent a text asking me if he can ask me something and I said okay sure. "Why do u want me back? What is it about me that u love so much? and he feels like he wasn't doesn't his best as a partner as well. I respond to him that it would be best to talk in person about it when he is ready and then I g...

Use this article as a guideline on what you should be doing, and improve on the areas you were lacking (insecurities, etc) before considering trying anything again. He could be right, but keep in mind that his cheating behavior is still wrong as long as he was in a relationship with you regardless of his reason. He could have expressed and communicated with you regarding what he felt instead of cheating just because he didn't feel satisfied with the sex. Do think about the entire situation and relationship, and decide for yourself whether he is right (about your shortcomings as a reason to break up) or just being unreasonable and finding excuses.
He apologised and i accepted his apology and we got back together. withing the 1st month of the apology, everything went well and i was happy things went well between us like before. But within 2 months of his apology, he started picking fights and arguing with me again about things he'd like to buy etc... he's a shopaholic. he wanted to break up with me again.
Pursue your passion. Most of us may struggle to say what our passion in life is. We are too bogged down in our obligations, responsibilities, and routines to carve out any time to give some thought to the things we are passionate about. Your time of no contact is as good a time as any to figure it out. Maybe you’ve always had a love for good art. Maybe you are excited by gardening or writing. Take this time to do those things Also, take this time to try something new. You might just find a passion for something you didn’t know you had before. Engaging in the activities and hobbies that we love, that we are good at, and that we are passionate about go a long way to remind us of our essence and make us feel alive again.

There’s no trickery needed in making him miss you. It’s a matter of sometimes curbing your enthusiasm about how excited you are to be dating him, and finding ways to assert your independence. Having autonomy, we’ve learned, not only shows him that you’re not a clinging wallflower but that you’re confident and capable of enjoying yourself without being glued to his side.


Hello. I broke up two weeks ago with my boyfriend after 5 years. we were living together so its much harder since he left the house. Its my fault, he doesnt trust me know but we also had a few communication problems and he is aware of these as he told me but he doesnt want to give another chance. I dont know what to do, i really want to show him that we must give it another try since we know our mistakes and we had a beautiful relationship all this time we were having fun, trips all the time, i know my mistakes know that i can think clear, i dont want to end up without give it a try. What should i do?:/
I say that because we’ve been together for three years. I just feel like he would’ve figured out sooner than later if I was what he wanted in a girlfriend. Our relationship is/was so great. We talked everyday, some days less than others but at the beginning and end of the day we always made contact. We hung out mostly 4out of 7 days a week. We’ve always made enough time for eachother, and what we want to do ourselves. We hardly ever fought. Of course we’ve had our few disputes, but nothing we couldn’t work through.
So when I hear someone tell me “I want my ex back because they are the most amazing person in the world and quite possibly my soul mate” I always remind those people that they are pretty amazing too! If your ex fell for you, if you were able to inspire and seduce them the first time around, it means that you have tons of qualities to offer as well.
Hello, I have a question that has been of concern to me. So I'm almost to the end of no contact, and I would like to send a short letter to wipe the slate clean... however, she has moved and I dont know the address. I made a mistake during the breakup involving social media and she blocked me on facebook... but is still open to texting. She and I work in the same city, maybe 5 minutes apart or less... so I thought maybe I could leave the letter on her car one night after i get off(but I am really worried that it'll come off as creepy stalker), I dont think she'd even read an email, and we were together 9 months so I dont think texting would be my best option. Ideas?
Commitment problems can come from a wide range of places. Perhaps they had a relationship that was horrible and their ex cheated on them. This would obviously make them hesitant to commit to someone else. They may also have parent issues that explain their commitment issues. First, you need to figure out why they are that way so you can tailor your behavior to make them want to commit. [Read: 13 signs he wants a relationship but has commitment issues]
I am dating a guy in a distance relationship for about three months, at the beggining we felt unbelievable connection soulmate like, he said he wants to marry and have children, he was caring and sweet (flowers, gifts, lots of time together). However I know he cheated on me at the very beginning of dating (I forgived him because that was very fresh relation).
Ok so me and my ex broke up 4 months ago. I did 35 days of no contact and she tried to text me 4 times during that time. Eventually her best friend texted me and told me that my ex was really upset and missed me so the next time my ex tried to contact me I responded. She said sorry for ending our relationship and that she wanted things to go back to the way they were before. However, she did not explicitly say that she wanted us to get back together. I chose to doubt that, but I wanted to get back together so I forgave her and we have been in constant contact for 2 months texting every day for at least an hour and she seems closer in person than she did before. Recently I learned that her best friend told my ex that I was trying to get back together with her, but she has been acting the same if not closer than before. Should I take this as a sign that she does want to get back together or should I still try to find out more?
If you are looking for a serious relationship, while chemistry is important, it is not the purpose of the first date. Chemistry activates in the brain in the same location as cocaine. Yes… it acts like a drug. One that can blind you from seeing a woman’s red flags as well as areas that will eventually be relationship enders. The first date is about connection. So how do you create that connection? But taking into account who you and she truly are. Screw the facade. It’s time to get real.

I love this article, I am definitely going to follow your advice. My only concern is that my ex might’ve done the 4wk no contact along with every thing else to me already. He now texts me everyday and he recently told me that he loves me and he misses me but hasn’t said he wants to get back together and he is talking to another girl. Should I still do this?
'Never look back' That's what they say, right? And most of us fully subscribe to this. Exes are exes for a reason, aren't they? And up until last year, I was the world's biggest advocate of leaving the past in the past. I've never stayed friends with any of my exes (because I think there is literally no point) and I'd certainly never considered getting back with one of them. Hell no.
Sometimes guys will think they have just fallen head over heals for someone else.  But sometimes the truth is that it’s not love, bit just pure sex.  So you may be wondering, how will I ever get my ex back if he is hooking up with some other girl.  Well, we are going to get into all that, but for now, just know that sometimes boyfriends will wander off either because they are lured away or that just have not yet learned that they are risking blowing up the good thing they have going with you.
"You were right too about how much I coddled my children's mother. The reality is that I was afraid of her.  Just like when we were married I was always trying to keep her from getting mad at me. When I was depressed I had no spine for anything.  That era is over as well.  Now when she calls, I get the facts of who to pick up when and where, and that's it."

It may be cliché, but a new makeover will do wonders to make him miss you. This is especially effective if the man you’re missing is an ex. Maybe you get a new haircut, treat yourself to a new make-up look at the mall, or sport a sexy, new outfit. Not only will the new look make you feel great about yourself, you will have that special someone want you back. Make sure that you go somewhere you know that he’ll be to show off the new you. If he sees you looking great it’s going to make him start thinking of you and wanting to be closer to you. This will work especially well if you’re getting attention from others around you guys. Of course if you aren't into getting a full on makeover then try a new hairstyle or switch up your usual lipstick color. This will get him thinking about how much you've moved on.
Two months ago I met a man. We were so attracted to each other that it all happened so fast, on the first date. He warned me that he didn’t want a relationship… I did my best to listen to his feelings, show understanding and get some intimacy and we eventually got close and started meeting every week. I was sleeping over at his house, we were having good time, having sex, doing normal things like cooking and spending the whole weekend together. I knew he had a very problematic past – a father who never married his mother or took any responsibility, a brother from another mother who caused him problems, personal problems with drugs in the past and two broken relationships with 1) bulimic anorexic girl and 2) a girl who cheated on him 10 months ago. I was so good to listen, give him the peace he needed and be very patient with him.

You could reply her to respectfully let her know that it's a bit early for now, and you would go back when you're ready. However, if your contact with her so far has been positive since the break up and she shows signs of attraction towards you still, perhaps you could consider trying to work things out without actually going through with no contact.
Maybe he’s super attentive and into you one minute and the next he can’t be bothered. This can feel jarring. Consistency is comforting, but people aren’t always consistent, and routines can change with circumstances. Those circumstances could be work-related or he could be having family issues, and these aren’t necessarily things he’ll want to talk about.
"You were right too about how much I coddled my children's mother. The reality is that I was afraid of her.  Just like when we were married I was always trying to keep her from getting mad at me. When I was depressed I had no spine for anything.  That era is over as well.  Now when she calls, I get the facts of who to pick up when and where, and that's it."
After no contact, my ex and I have spoken here and there for a couple weeks (mostly initiated by me) and we finally hung out for the first time the other day when I texted him asking to. He seemed nervous at first but we had a good time and he was reminiscing on our past times a lot, also heavily flirting. I was only a little flirty and didn’t bring up the relationship. He also suggested future times we should hang out several times, and we were having fun. After I left he texted me thanking me for hanging out with him, saying how sexy and awesome I am. He stopped responding but we exchanged a few snaps. The next day I called him intending to ask to get lunch but he didn’t respond and texted me 20 mins later saying he was working. We had a brief conversation that he initiated and I haven’t talked to him since. Am I overthinking or did I totally scare him off by calling the next day? Should I wait for him to contact me?
You're going to have dig a little deeper and try to understand what caused her sudden change of heart. Often, unless the person has commitment issues and is always looking for a way out of the relationship, thoughts of not working out usually don't develop overnight and have larger underlying issues tied to it, just that the other party may not have brought it up. Your chances are dependent on what this underlying issue is, and whether its something that can be resolved or not to win her back.
I dont know what to write to him! NC is almost over and he has no social media so he has no idea what I’ve been doing. He also hasn’t contacted me which is okay. I’ve jotted down tons of ideas for my first email to him but I’m very scared. Hes always suspicious of people so I dont want to sound too needy or like I’m trying to use him. He might think if I’m messaging him a month later that I want to use him…hes stubborn as hell as well.
There's always a chance to win her back, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Spend this time focusing on yourself and improving aspects of your life that can be worked on, essentially, become an improved version of yourself. Regaining her trust is definitely no easy task, but as long as you are consistent in your effort and the relationship she shared with you was a meaningful one, there's always a possibility where she comes around.
I listen to your Video. ..How to Make Him miss you. I really wish I would have listen to your video before hand I did everything wrong because I wasnt aware. Well low and behold he broke up with me and it hurt pretty badly for 4months. I can see in his eyes it hurt him to do that. We both had strong feelings for each other and the Love making was on the top of the chart. Ive learned alot from now to then. He’s back in my Life and I truly Love him as if he never left were able to pick up from where we left off. I want this to work with him forever. I want him to be my last relationship.
Wallah awesome advices I’ve been with my guy more than a year now even f we r in different culture he always telling me it doesn’t matter and when I answered ur quizzes it just like a test paper also been told by my guy for me ur ryt it’s about inner self must know not just bcz d eyes want to see…and I’m satisfied and happy with my friends guy bcz he is God fearing and teach me lot more of faith values which really was a different from my culture..ALLAH bless U Eric may U continue help people who r in need of advices regarding love and the likes….
It is possible to work to reprogram your brain or change certain beliefs. If you are severely lacking confidence in yourself and your ability to prove to your ex and that you can make them happy; try doing one of my favorite self-help exercise; write down in the present tense something on a yellow sticky that you are hoping to accomplish as if you had already achieved your goal.
After only a 2 month relationship, is it possible to get him back? or is it just a fling? I totally get what you mean about 30 days to miss you and such, but 30 days of no contact seems like a lot considering it would be half the time we were together. He is definitely moved on, he was back on Tinder the day after we broke up. He's been polite and kind in the few times I've reached out since, but I can tell he definitely has no interest anymore. I just can't shake the feeling that no contact won't work in this situation. He has no reason to dislike me or anything, but Im sure he just sees me as someone who he wasn't ultimately compatible with. I'm not sure time apart would change that.
I saw her recently after about 2 weeks of very little if any contact, and things were amicable. Hugs and small conversation. I was tempted to text "let me know you got home safely" or something similar, but didn't. I think at this stage, it's still a waiting game; she's typically not the type to reach out, and I very much am, so it's a difficult place. I keep thinking I may have opportunities to put myself in her mind, or that I might have missed some — knowing full well that's addressed in the above article, but ... you know. 
At this point, any negative feelings or opinions your ex had have most likely dissipated. He’s forgotten about the bad times, about the fights, about what went wrong. Human beings have a tendency to idealize the past. So once you’re “past,” he will only remember the good stuff and the bad stuff will drift further into the recesses of his mind. And it won’t be long before he starts to wonder what you’re up to…
You're going to have dig a little deeper and try to understand what caused her sudden change of heart. Often, unless the person has commitment issues and is always looking for a way out of the relationship, thoughts of not working out usually don't develop overnight and have larger underlying issues tied to it, just that the other party may not have brought it up. Your chances are dependent on what this underlying issue is, and whether its something that can be resolved or not to win her back.

Hello! I have the following problem. Me and my wife are together for 7 years. We had a 4 years old girl. We had our ups and downs but we had a very good relationship. Two years ago she met some colleague of her from another city on some business trip. She cheated on me after a while. I found out in her messages that but she lied to me, she accused me of mistrust and other staff like that. I decided to believe her and move on. I even propose to her. Everything was perfect the last year or I though so. The last winter I cough her again and then this summer. They met each other not more than 3 4 times, for that I am sure. He is living in another city, he is a lot older than we are, he has wife and kid too. Most of the time they chat to each other via messenger. In june I left our home for a couple of weeks but she couldn`t take care as I wanted for our kid and our home. So I moved back because I want to look after my kid. We are back together for the last two months more as a parents and roommates than a couple. She is saying she loves me but she is not in love with me and she love the other guy although they cant have anything serious besides seeing 2 times in the year. I think I feel the same way but I want to make it right for our kid. What could I do. I know I love her and can live with her till rest of my wife. I want to reconnect with her in a real way, to restore trust and to build a new relation. I saw that system isn`t working if we are living together. So what should I do.
This article is completely speaking to my current situation. It definitely seems like my guy is pulling away a little bit, still answering texts and things but very barely, not making plans to see me this weekend, etc., but all of the signs up until this point were that he was very into me. I tried reaching out to him a little more than I usually have been in response, but I’m going to pull back a little bit and give him the space he needs and let him come to me as this article says.
This whole post really does make me think. Perhaps we have been conditioned to think that giving our partner space is the appropriate way to act? And, in a lot of cases it does cause the relationship to become somewhat stable again. But, I honestly think that if someone asks for space, or “changes”by contacting you less, it is a sign that they are an emotionally unstable person, who will only break you by making you feel paranoid.
Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?

One of the best ways to make a guy miss you is to have fun without him. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but your guy wants to be the only thing that makes you happy. If you’re having fun without him (a girls’ night out, some really cool skydiving lessons, etc.), then he’s going to want to be part of the fun. Men like to be the ones to make you smile, and if you’re smiling without him he’ll notice and he’ll pay more attention.
Another point, which is quite stereotypical, is owning nice undergarments. It doesn't have to be super-fancy lingerie, but a nice matching set of lace underwear and bra go a long way. While my boyfriend doesn't care much, he is always pleasantly surprised when I have something special waiting under my casual clothes. He notices every time. In general, I think French women are more intentional about their personal care, including what they wear underneath their clothes, and this is definitely appreciated by French men. And women should do it for themselves, too!"
There may be many unresolved feelings he hasn't dealt with since officially breaking up as he continued to distract himself, first with you and subsequently with the new girl. That new person has probably helped him detach himself from the lingering feelings of you since he has someone new to focus on, but if it's genuinely a rebound, it won't be long before he begins to think about you again, especially if since the breakup, you've been spending time focusing on self-improvement and making changes to your life.

i don’t really agree that a woman’s gotta give a guy space under every circumstance because sometimes when people are in steady relationships there might be scenarios where real problems arise which might require a ‘down-time’ but either way the only solution is to talk about it, if a guy doesn’t wanna talk and he just dissapears he doesn’t have respect for the woman and is not interested at all,so for him it’s just a game and for the ladies it’s really painful.so keep away from these type of men,especially if they start to act like this in the early phases of dating and peculiarly if you met them online.these online dating guys are not trustworthy and have parallel contacts

Hey.. I’m in love with this guy for almost 6 months now and we are in a long distance relationship..since from the day we met he treated me like I’m the only girl in the world he respect me like I’m around him always he calls me day and night.. And we hardly see each other because of his work and the distance between us.. Few days back I visited him where he stays and he introduced me to everyone around him and everything was good until I hold his phone while he was asleep.. I found out that his cheating for me which changed everything ..I’m a Moody person.. Then I asked him everything and he answered me some not everything.. Then he apologized about his doings and promise me that he will short everything out soon.. And I did forgiven him but sometimes i feel like I have done a wrong thing it will happen again and we are living miles apart so I’m afraid.. Please I need an advice on what to do!

awesome and this is beautiful writer on 4 Ways to Make Him Commit and Want Only You. it’s explained many things about the relationship. I’m enjoyed yo read and understand every each word of those sent on this article, especially about ” I can clearly see now, years later after all the emotion and attachment is completely gone, we never would have reached that level of intimacy that is ultimately valuable to me in a relationship. I can use for make in status of my facebook and many friends like that.


Women don’t want the problem necessarily resolved or an answer right away.  They need time to talk about it, process it, and think.  This gets men very confused and frustrated listening to a women vent.  They think we are whining when we vent and if they tell us how to solve the problem, then they expect us to act upon us right away. Men need to understand that sometimes women just need to vent, be acknowledged for their frustration, and then we’re over it.  Women need someone who will listen and say “Oh really?”, “uh huh,” “Yes, I can understand why you’re upset”.

#6 Reward him for boyfriend-like behavior. When he does something that shows his commitment to you, reward him for it. Something like going out of his way to make plans with you or inviting you to events is definitely behavior you need to reward. When he sees that you like that kind of thing, he’ll want to do it more and soon enough, he’ll have committed to you for real.

Just a heads up as this is an extremely important section. Remember when we talked abut how you are going to implement the no contact rule for about a month (30 days?) Yes, well you are not going to just sit on your butt and twiddle your thumbs during this time. No, you are going to work towards your goal of a new and better relationship by focusing on the one thing you can control, yourself!
This article is surprisingly well written considering that most refer to manipulation of some sort. Yet, I would like to take a middle ground here in the positions taken by Eric Charles and Jennie. I think a fifth point, but moved to the top of the post should be on finding your own self love, and source of fulfillment independent of relationships, which helps you then do the second point say no to those who are not a good fit for you — i.e. know how to choose those compatible to you so that you can be yourself and also add value to his/her life. And yes, such relationships are reciprocal. It is not only the woman adding value, the man reciprocates as well. Both partners benefit. And commitment is a natural result, without having to manipulate the situation in any way. Thanks for offering different points of view.
Since winning her back in the next 8 months will be beyond your control, I suggest not thinking about winning her back for now and as she's said, to simply move on for now and to just focus on yourself instead. If the relationship was a meaningful one to both parties, the opportunity would always present itself again in the future, and should you want to give it another shot at that time, then you can always consider things again.
Thomas Gilovich, a psychologist at Cornell University has done quite a lot of research as to why it is better to treasure memorable and pleasant experiences rather than the material things we buy. There are many reasons for this as outlined in his study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.[3] Comparing possessions and looking at better objects after purchase can be demoralizing and ruin the initial pleasure we got when purchasing and taking possession of that new car, TV or computer.
Long story short, if I had taken the advice of this article, he may have never cone back to me. When he was weak and kicking himself for messing up, he pulled back. Pulled back so far that he couldn’t see the potential that I did for us. I was able to be strong and fight for what I wanted, and show him that there are other kinds of women out there who won’t “hate him” for accidentally falling asleep and missing our date. I’ve shown him what true love is, and now that he sees he can be loved, he has given his full heart to me.
Now, the following strategies for getting him to bring up the subject all entail risk: Having The Talk, no matter who initiates it, might either scare him off or cause him to give you an answer you don't want to hear ("I don't want a commitment, but I'd love to continue having sex with you. Okay?"). But come on. You don't want to spend the rest of your life pining for some guy who thinks you're great to share a burger and a bed with but little else, right? The risk is generally worth taking.

Wow I can’t believe how much I have written. I just checked and this is getting close to 10,000 words. Ok, we are very close to the end here. This section is all about taking a big risk. More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up. All the experts have a different view of how this should be done. The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now. However, if he didn’t don’t worry, I have a plan for you!


I had gone on a rant in front of one of my guy friends recently about guys and their commitment issues, and much like many of the other guys who have had enough of my verbal assaults against men, he had decided it was time to pipe up. He decided to tell me how most men are approached by girls looking for commitment, why it doesn’t work, and how to get him to commit for real.
Ok so I don’t know how to start. My boyfriend and I had a 5 year age gap. And I recently just had him end a relationship of 1 year and like 9 months. We met on Facebook through a mutual friend and talked for a couple weeks in the beginning of Dec. 2016 until his birthday in January of 2017. Three days after his birthday party he invited me back over to hangout with him and the female mutual friend (who I met through work, she was like his older sister, she told me. And his neighbor) Anyway it was just me and him hanging out for a few hours and by the end of the night he romantically asked me to be his girlfriend, because we talked for weeks before meeting and he wanted to exclusively see me and date. I said yes. Fast forward maybe a month or a couple months and things were going great. We hungout on weekends, he came into my work to see me right after he got out from work almost every other day. It was very sweet. We went to movies, we went to his friends & his parents and were doing all kinds of stuff. People I knew from work would come to his house and hangout, watch movies, play games etc. Then I finally confessed to my parents that I was staying at his house (basically living there, I stayed 3 or more nights with him.) Everythjng was exciting and fun & sweet. Fast forward a week maybe and he asked me to move in. I said yes and told my parents my decision. I’m a cluttery/messy person.. and he’s OCD. Anyway after we were together over a year he said that maybe we should break up. He said he loved me very much but the house was always a mess (and I was working a ton of late nights as a pharmacy tech & always studying so I was tired. ) He told me the house being dirty was depressing and things with our relationship weren’t as exciting as the beginning. I managed to ask him to give me another try, I promised to keep the house clean & to do more activities with him. For a few months things were great, we went to his friends almost every weekend. We enjoyed activities with his & my parents. And we still hungout with our mutual friend (his neighbor).i ended up quitting my job and we went to Florida for 2weeks. We stayed with his family along the way and I met everyone. That was this past april. Things were great. We even recently went to Wisconsin together for a family wedding. Then tragedy hit over 10 days ago. His parents had moved down south before April, and I knew he missed them a lot. He rarely spoke compared to his every day phone calls with them. They were always busy now. So he invited one of his best friends to stay for a week with us to kinda pick himself back up I guess. It created tensions between us. We went to get him downstate for the weekend and I don’t like doing things outdoors/active.. idk why. Anyway ever since then he stopped holding my hand & kissing me goodbye before work. He even stopped kissing me when he got home from work, he withdrew from me almost completely, and I’ve always been clingy. But I was coming up on 7 months with no work and money was tight so I blamed it on that. Long story short he broke up with me 10 days ago. He said we are two different people and he needs an active and clean/neat partner. And I need someone to motivate and wake me up when repetition happens because I can deal with the same thing everyday. But not him. So for the past 7 months I’ve been trying to sell soaps. And he hasn’t been exactly supportive. He doesn’t talk about it. We would fight because he wouldn’t say anything positive he just would say oh cool. But he wasn’t negative or thought it was stupid either, I got his mom into the hobby. I miss him now. I don’t know if he will ever comeback. I’m desparate.. I was with him for almost 2 years, so many memories, i moved in with him and left my family & friends behind. They lived 30 minutes from where we lived. Nobody ever visited because of distance. I was ready to marry him, and at one point he did too. But the day we broke up he said something was missing in his life and he needed time alone. I have so much I could say, but this is already too long. And I recently made an okcupid account and found he had reactivsted his old one. I am so depressed that he’s moving on already. He didn’t want to give me anymore chances to change and he didn’t want to fix things.. But he swore up and down he’s always supported and loved me. He said he still loves me but we don’t work. Somebody please reply, I’m losing my best friend and the man I love. I know couples can change & grow together in relationships, I just feel because he’s depressed and isolated from everybody hat he’s pushing me away too.. I can do but leave him alone because he doesn’t like to message me anymore. I had a new phone he persuaded me to get with him when he wanted one too, everything was contract & in his name. It was a hassle to get it switched back to me & make payments w/o a job. Same with my car insurance. We were looking at houses and everything. It was like overnight he changed..
First off, before I tell you what happened, I would like to point out that my recent ex-girlfriend and I are both college students. She is a freshman, and I am a junior, with a two-year age gap as well. I reside on-campus, and when she broke up with me, she did it in my dorm after cuddling me. When she broke up with me, she cried, and I knew that she was struggling to really go through with the decision. However, she still broke up with me in the end. I know why it happened and that it does have to do with the fact that we need to work on ourselves and we are both a bit insecure. I know that I was clingy and pushed her away due to my insecurities. I also know that I have said that I will keep positive and try to work on myself, and I am still going to do that. However, I just want to be really honest with what exactly went down immediately following the breakup.
Hello well .. This guy has Been pursuing me for almost 3yrs. We were intimate, spent all of our time together. He does for me, we go out in public. We talked about marriage and kids together everthing.. He knew that i wasnt emotionally ready at the time yet he assured me it was safe to open up and be kind…Then when i finally do and say lets do this he tells me no and starts to pull away… Now he says he not ready and not intrested anymore…what happened?
As an older man, I’m not sure if I can explain what’s happening and how relationships have changed over the past 40 years or so. Young men, like my son and his friends, view relationships differently from their fathers and are in the process of changing the relationship landscape forever. In my day, marriage was assumed and divorce was rare. Today, divorce is assumed, along with alimony and marriage, is to be avoided at all costs. Your boyfriends might not be pulling away from you as much as they are pulling away from a society that views them as disposable… Read more »
Just an update on this situation... So we broke up about 3 weeks ago and I am currently about half way through no contact and last night realised he’d friended a girl on Facebook and Instagram. I am fairly certain they have met and hit it off and are most likely seeing eachother now. However he doesn’t post much so I know he won’t be posting pictures of them together so I will never know for sure what is happening. But... How do I go about reaching out now? Should I stick to the plan I originally had about reaching out once no contact period is done or does something need to change in my plan because of the possibility of him seeing someone?
This is a great article; really clearly illustrated how women pull away for different reasons. I can think of times when I just wanted some space, and I couldn't understand why my partner couldn't sense this and give it to me. I didn't appreciate that she probably thought there was something wrong and that she could help me feel better. I can also remember times when my partner pulled away and I assumed she just wanted space herself, only to realize later that she was hurt and I should have addressed it.
I was in a relation with my ex for 3 years 9 months.It was a long distance relationship and he used to meet me every thursday - sun. Our parents knew about us and we were planning to get married soon. Few months back I noticed that he had been talking a lot with my roommate. I tried asking him indirectly about them but he always used to say that there is nothing. When it was too obvious, I asked him directly and he broke off with me on watsapp. He told me that I am immature and he loves me a lot but I'm like a kid for him. I asked him for a months chance and he said there is nothing left in him to try for me, but still I wanted to try and sort things out. In between that I found out that he had proposed to my roommate. He said he had feelings for her after breakup as he was lonely and he feels that she understands him well. My roommate said that initially she didnt love him but was only talking to him to sort things out between us , in spite of me warning her not to interfere. I love him too much and I did few things which were not supposed to, like begging him to be with me and trying to separate my ex and my roommate. My roommate is undergoing divorce and my ex says that both should get a second chance to be happy again. My roommate doesn't know if they have a future together. Few days back he called me and was explaining me that i should let go of him and move on.I know he loves me a lot and I also love him a lot and I believe that we can work on the communication and understanding issues between us. Please help me to get back with my ex. I have started the NC rule, but do you think there is a chance for us to be together? My ex and my roommate have been officially together since last 3 weeks and he has stopped visiting me and her.
Guys don’t know exactly what it is, but suddenly their instincts are telling them to get away. This usually occurs at the point where the woman could no longer keep the act up. Maybe she’s trying to appear cool and go-with-the-flow, but in her mind she’s already thinking of ways to turn a relationship that’s really nothing at this point into something. From that point forward, it’s not easygoing and natural, it’s her measuring if she is getting closer or further from her goal.
You'll have to try and figure out what it was that made him break up so suddenly with you before you can determine the steps to take. For the time being, focus on self-recovery and pick yourself up from the breakup and perhaps even come to terms with it. If not, you won't be able to take the proper steps in trying to win him back. You can apply no contact for now, and when you've recovered, to attempt in re-connecting with him. Hopefully by that stage he would have unblocked you and be more receptive towards you.

Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.
Hey i just have a question about no contact. My ex and I are in a group chat with all of our friends, on snapchat. If i leave that group chat, I lose access to last minute plans and activities that my friends are doing. Unfortunately, he is also in that group chat. I haven't directly answered any of his snaps, yet he still sees everything I send and I see everything he sends. I'm not willing to let go of access to my friends, since they are the only thing keeping my mind off of him. I have been initiating no contact for around 9 days now, so basically, will it affect the effectiveness of no contact if I still see pictures of his face and what he's doing everyday and vice versa? Should I leave just for the no contact period?
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