Hi. I dated this guy last year , but unfortunately it didn’t work out between us cause I was unreachable and shy. We pretty much texted the whole time and met a few times. I fell for him and he said he had feelings for me too . But all of a sudden he wanted to be just friends. We had 5 months long an emotional relationship/friendship and 5 months a non-emotional one. I kinda acted out there. He started giving me less atttetion day after day and we started fighting every now and then and I got super jealous when he talked about this other girl he liked. Eventually he called the friendship off. I asked him to block my number and social accounts so we wouldn’t have contact . It’s been 4 months now and I miss him everyday. I’m madly in love with him . Haven’t heard of him for 4 months and I want him back. I can’t get over him being gone from my life. Please help. What should I do ? Why am I feeling this way.
So I have spoken a lot about being an independent woman who is confident and can take of herself but sometimes it is a good thing to show a little vulnerability so your man can show his masculinity. Your man wants to feel needed as a MAN sometimes and that’s not just something that is to be shrugged off as being silly, it is in their biological DNA.
I believe very strongly that outside influences have some bearing on the breakups. For example money problems, problems at work , health problems, etc. I believe these contribute to the breakdown of the relationship. If we don't deliberately pay attention and put your loved one first. Then your are heading down a real steep hill and soon you will fall off the cliff.
While most people these days accept women’s contributions to the workplace environment and will support your career advancement, there may still be life moments that suggest the opposite e.g., an argument with your partner, a heated discussion with family, lunch with girlfriends, discussions with a co-worker, or a PTA meeting with stay-at-home moms. Just be yourself and reject negativity, politely standing your ground when necessary. Every person, every relationship, and every family is different and if it works for you and your loved ones, that is the only thing that matters.
As a child, you might have dreamt that your prince charming was going ride on his white horse and then whisk you away. Chances are, that won’t happen, but this doesn’t necessarily mean you will not get the man of your dreams. The problem is that, if you idealize the man of your dreams all the time, it is only going to make the search difficult for you.
In my previous article about the ugly truths of online dating, I shared a story about how my current partner would get rebuffed time and again, simply for stating that she was a feminist. She would have built rapport with multiple men. They would ask her what she studied and what she’s interested or into. The second she mentioned she was a feminist (in passing, mind you)—guys stopped responding and sending her messages.
I've dated two other men since him, plus ive had shorter flings, I've have had a lot of time to detach and relax and feel FAR less needy around him... I think things could be better this time and that I wouldn't be as emotionally reactive as I used to be with him, but he flat out says doesn't believe that. He used to tell me in the past that i had no idea how strongly our fights used to affect him - so now he doesnt want any chance of going back there and hes happy just keeping it light and friendly but distant. How can I get past his resistance about meeting? I believe that if we meet once or twice he will see things are better and calm down... but I can't get that initial meeting to happen
“It’s natural for him to drift away sometimes. That’s because most men are afraid of becoming vulnerable.” – That’s not the main issue here at all. I’ll put this as simply as I can – a man’s purpose in life is to kick ass. Maintaining a relationship is very different from kicking ass – it often involves the exact opposite kind of thinking and behavior. If a man spends all of his time and energy on a relationship, there’s no time and energy left to kick ass. How do you feel when you have insufficient time in your life to live true to your purpose? Men do have to face the same vulnerability issues everyone does, but that’s a different problem where the man fears something could be be taken away from him. In the common case, where the man likes the relationship but withdraws anyway, what actively hurts is that he can’t give himself what he needs. It’s not a fear of a future loss that’s hurting him – it’s the active presence of a loss in his life right now.
Thank you for answering me. I just got the logic vs emotion email and I just need to check if I have any chances getting my man back. My cousin texted him the other day without me knowing, to get his side of what happened. He ended up responding with "breaking up with her wasn't an easy decision at all but too many tings in the relationship needed to change and they weren't being fixed. It wasn't easy but I really think it's the best decision for us moving forward" To me that sounds like logic, not emotion. Honestly, is there any chance for me to get him back? W were together 3 years and 1 week. I think it was a pretty meaningful relationship.
First thing I would suggest is to run no contact if you didn’t already. After that, consider a trip to the Philippines for a holiday. Contact her a few days before, making it very clear that you’re there for a holiday, not to see her specifically, but that you’re open to meeting up if she is. She can’t find out that you’re there just to see her, because that would come across needy. Tell her you’re also visiting another neighbouring country too, so that she can see you’re there to enjoy yourself irrespective of her.
Laura Menze is the Chief Love Officer at Ready-Match offering a unique and authentic approach to dating and matchmaking in the Denver, Colorado area by vetting clients for their Relationship Readiness, offering a program in Relationship Readiness that ultimately teaches Self-Matching, as well as offering Tru-Match Matchmaking and Relationship Building services for new couples.
Your main goal in this section is to just open up communication. Remember though, you want to be in control at all times. That means that YOU have to be the one to end the conversation. To make matters more complicated you can’t get into a full blown conversation with him yet. This is simply a small baby step that you are using to test the waters and gauge where you are at.
I also want to add that this isn’t the only reason a man will lose interest, it’s just the most common and most misunderstood one. The problem is most people don’t accurately define what the problem is. It gets written off as the woman being too available and not making him chase her. That is not really what’s at play here. Being available isn’t the issue, the issue is really not being present. It’s an issue that comes from seeking validation through a relationship rather than in your life.
There was no “trick” to getting Mary back for good. Going through a tragedy had changed me. It was terrible, but it helped me grow the hell up, and by the time Mary and I crossed paths again, I was ready to be the kind of person who texts back and keeps plans and buys presents for no apparent reason. We don’t yell at each other in the street anymore, and that’s pretty cool.
He broke up with me last week because he didn't feel it was right anymore. He said didn't love me anymore. He didn't imagine me in his future anymore. He said he hasn't been feeling the same feeling from when we started dating for two months. He didn't tell me right away because he wanted to love me. He wanted to believe he loved me. He said he wished he loved me and that we worked out. He apologised to me for not feeling the same way anymore.
I recently met a man at a business networking party. Knowing what I do for a living, he asked me, “What’s a good line to meet a girl? I mean, I’m usually pretty good at picking up the ladies, but for some reason, it’s not working lately.” I responded by asking, “What’s the energy you think you are putting out there? Forget about what you are saying. What do you think your energy is saying?” He thought about it for a moment, smiled, chuckled a bit, and then said, “Well, I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m just looking to have some fun and maybe hook up with someone.” And there’s the problem.
Hi, Me and my ex were together for 3 years and we went out drinking and I cheated on my girlfriend while she was in the room, we didn't have sex but we did do other stuff. I regret it massively and was hoping to ask her to marry me sometime this year. Its been over a week and I have done some of the mistakes of texting her and being needy. I received an email off her explaining to me how I hurt her and in a way shes glad it happened so she no longer has to waste time with me. She has told me on a few occasions she never wants to see me again or for me to contact her. I have recently done the NC rule. Does it look like this is a lost cause or will the NC rule work? How long should my NC rule be bearing in mind she told me she wants no contact from me. I am willing to wait as long as it takes to get her back.
Exactly! Also, can we all admit that pulling away really isn’t that normal in strong and solid relationships? Looking back, I realize that my best relationships did not involve a man pulling away from me. Maybe having a day or two to himself for alone time, sure, but pulling away and creating real emotional distant? No…it’s not normal and yes there is a problem…any time that happened to me, another woman was involved.
If you’re up to your eyeballs in the gooey joy of new love, you might be tempted to spend 100% of your time with her. Fight that urge, and take a mental (and maybe physical) cold shower. Recognize that an occasional night on your own—or with your buddies—could be a great thing for you and your relationship. You’ll feel more grounded, she’ll miss you and want you more, and you’ll keep those fireworks going even longer than you thought possible.
So, get this. I’ve been seeing this guy for almost 3 months now, so not long. We have taken things pretty casually, I don’t know his past & haven’t asked. When it comes to ‘feelings’ I can tell he is not safe talking about it. We are completely compatible, and honestly I feel as if he’s my person. When we first started talking, we discussed about meeting the parents in general, and he expressed how he doesn’t bring just anyone home to his family & he wants to be sure they will be around for a while before doing so. So, I let him make the call as to when that would happen, if it would. A few weeks ago, he told me to reserve a specific date open for going home to meet his family. Which was just a week ago. Of course, it was the perfect weekend. Introduced me to his whole family, classmates, and family friends, and stayed an extra day than planned. 3 days later, I sent him a nice text- did not say the L word, but was pretty strong feeling. He replied with not feeling the same as me, and didn’t want to waste my time. I have tried calling him one time to get an explanation and he has not responded. Haven’t bugged him since the phone call. It’s so frustrating where 48 hrs prior to the text I was with him at his parents and seen absolutely no red flags. What should I do? What does this mean? I have never had a guy ‘pull away’ before.
You didn't take control of the pace of the relationship. You didn't let him miss you. You gave all of yourself to him right from the start and there was nothing to miss. A lot of women assume that just because a guy really wants to keep seeing them, they should do this. However, my advice is to put the brakes on. Let him have space. Let him yearn for you a little bit, because that space is going to allow you to get to know each other, instead of just giving in and seeing each other every single night. You guys are still strangers and then suddenly the entire relationship just burns up into flames. He realizes, maybe it's moving a little bit fast and he wants to slow things down, and then you get mad and the whole thing ends. We don't want that to happen. So, again, move slower than he wants.
What makes you irreplaceable in the eyes of your man? Your ability to reach deep into the depths of who he is and inspire him. To put it more bluntly, you must offer something that is much more rare and valuable than sex if you want him to treat you as something important in his life. I mean … duh, right? And yet this obvious truth gets distorted and overlooked.
Sadly, even as a full-grown, responsible man-that was the only thing he could NEVER do. Why? I just needed to know he/WE were & he just needed time. I had no issue as long as it was honest. But, no. Never. I allowed him his game, over & over, excusing inexcusable behavior due to his ‘past’. That was until recently. At the height of our relationship, I finally felt confident, because he was showing true EFFORT. WITH his sweet talking. Everything was about as good as possible-I’m not being delusional, I spent literally, over a decade, grew from immature young adults, reconnecting as true adults, with this man & knew/know him inside out (so I thought)..I got to the point of just sensing when he was bothered, ready to go. After all this effort & time, finally getting *it*…with him exhibiting behaviors & saying things I’d never seen from him…at the point of clearly seeing what joy our relationship could evolve into..my world shattered. He ‘left me’ with a 3 sentence, nonsensical text msg, ignoring me since. What? ! I don’t get the refusal to be honest & communicate as adults?! *Especially* as that was the only adamant request asked of him, knowing that, regardless of his words-I’d respect them if they were honestly shared. But to ignore fundamental, human to human, basic kindness after such history? Leave me with a million questions, a need to close things out somehow, immense self-doubt, desire…hate & love-so many conflicting, devastating ideas & feelings to go over & over, in bed every night. Constantly wondering how I possibly broke this, yet hearing his last words to me..a very sincere ‘I love you’ , ringing in my ears.
The plenty of fish in the sea line isn’t quite as simple as some people make it out to be. The truth is that it’s a lot easier to figure out how to win someone back than to find someone with whom to build a long lasting sustainable relationship with! You already know your partner and share memories and a history together. There’s already something to build off of in a sense.