“I have been a mental health therapist in Denver, Colorado, for over 20 years.  I have been a guide for healing and growth for thousands of clients.  Because I have been a witness to the transformation of many lives, I can tell you that anything, and everything in your life- your “broken”, your “stuck”, your “absolutely nevers” can all be transformed into the most beautiful light….Promise. This includes your ability to find love.”
SIDE NOTE: One thing I want you to see here is that to your ex or any other girl, your DMV/ perceived superiority is as high as your behavior makes it, and is only partially related to your job, income, looks etc. This is why no guy reading this has any excuse for not being able to become the kind of guy his ex wants for a relationship. Enticing her back quickly into a new relationship/fresh start can be achieved by following my 6 step program.
Getting back on his feet involved reconnecting with old friends, and making contact with new ones as he pursued interests in activities he enjoyed. He joined a book group, found a place with religious services that he liked. He recalled the sports activities that in better times, he used to enjoy and returned to doing those activities again. Bit by bit, his spirits lifted.
My 3.5 year relationship with my girlfriend ended a week ago when she suddenly broke up with me. We are both divorced with kids and live in the same neighborhood. I have accepted much of what she said as my fault and am going to therapy and have joined a gym to get myself in a good place. I was emotionally withdrawn and ‘cold’ without realizing it and want to improve that for future relationships (with her or anyone). The major complication I think is with her 16 ½ year old daughter, who I sense was on the receiving end of when she was upset. I believe now this greatly contributed to the issue and without my being made aware, I didn’t have an opportunity to improve so it continued and the daughter is not seeing me as a positive future presence in their future.

Ex got mad during no contact. I'm currently on day 2 of no contact and she just started a fight about why I suddenly wanted to stop talking. I told her I needed space to set my mind straight. Just like I already explained before breaking contact. Still she said that I'm awful for playing her emotions like this. Since I said I wanted to keep post breakup contact and then a day later I found out about no contact 30 days and decided to try it. So I said no more contact after all. She ended up deleting me from social media. What do I do? What if after no contact is done she's still mad? Then I can't initiate the next step of casually contacting her followed by asking her out for coffee.
there’s a guy younger than me, very romantic, considerate, big heart, is looking for a girlfriend, he doesnt have alot of responsibility lives with his parents still. I hav kids and I want someone that is financially stable to take care of themselves first. I was honest and don’t want to get hurt or hurt him and if I get too close as friends I may want more. I told him maybey we shouldn’t talk and he didn’t understand what he did wrong. He hasn’t called me back. We work together, I want to be his friend, and since he… Read more »
I’m sure that you’ve heard the saying the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence quite a few times before. It is very very relevant to love and relationships as well. After being with someone for a long time it is easy to be tempted by something new or to get bored! Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you can easily find someone better!
If you’ve gotten yourself to the point where you’re ready for you guy to commit, but he just won’t budge, the two of you have probably discussed your relationship status ad nauseam. As of right now, bringing up your desire to be in a relationship won’t do you any good. He knows that you want to strip him of his “single” status and every time you bring it up, he pulls further and further away from you. So what’s a girl to do?
Another point, which is quite stereotypical, is owning nice undergarments. It doesn't have to be super-fancy lingerie, but a nice matching set of lace underwear and bra go a long way. While my boyfriend doesn't care much, he is always pleasantly surprised when I have something special waiting under my casual clothes. He notices every time. In general, I think French women are more intentional about their personal care, including what they wear underneath their clothes, and this is definitely appreciated by French men. And women should do it for themselves, too!"
Remember, when a man pulls away due to stress it has nothing to do with you or his feelings for you. I understand that you think he should open up to you, but you can’t place these expectations on him. Why? Because he is wired differently than you. You wouldn’t appreciate being forced into doing something that went against your nature and the same is true for him. When someone forces us to be a certain way it’s violating and invasive. It’s a breach of our boundaries and it’s disrespectful.
If you need space, then say so. Tell me that you need time and space to think things through. If you pull away without saying anything, you may not see me when you come back. I have every right to think you lost interest if you just withdrew without explanation. Just a simple "I need to be alone right now" will do. That way I will go do my own things and later we can meet half way.

"Although it will take some work to rebuild trust, this is your opportunity to form an even deeper bond," Dr. Bockarova says. "But that can only be if you speak up to your partner about what you like and dislike, when you feel hurt and when you feel happy, and how you'd like to be treated." She also recommends therapy to sort out any recurring issues.
Me any ex dated for over a year. He recently stopped communicating with me about four months ago. He will not give me a reason to his decision. I’ve begged and pleaded the last four months. He responds periodically but will not answer directly if he has broken up with me. My question is simply “are we done” “are we not dating anymore” etc. he never responds to those questions of why but if I say good morning or something general he will respond (sometimes) but takes hours to do so. I’ve just recently started to use the no contact rule, since yesterday. I do desire to be with him but I’m so emotional and I think I need to get myself together and calm down. I imagine he has started a relationship with someone else but he won’t answer that question either. Do you think it’s a chance after the 30 days that this situation has a chance? I will with all my might not contact him and work on being stronger regardless if we rekindle or not. Our relationship was good, not strong though we’ve never had major issues I do realize the lack of communication with each other if there were issues. What are your suggestions to this? Thank you
That needs to change. We need to get you behaving and coming across in a more attractive manner, when you meet up with her in person. This takes practice so it is something you should get started with right away as soon as you begin the No Contact Period. That way, when you go to meet with her after no contact, she’s gonna ‘just feel’ that you have a sexier presence. That’s how it works, women can’t explain this stuff, they ‘just feel it’.
The new girl backed off after a while, and I will admit after my ex got evolved things changed a little bit because I wasn't sure what she would do. I was kinda always looking over my shoulder as well as old WAR wounds came back. The thing is me and the new girl loved each other a lot and was on the same page, even talked about moving in together after only being together for a month. It seemed so effortless.
Men who pull away are often in situations in which they are playing the field and playing games with women’s emotions. This leads to instability right off the bat. This is where I like to take a moment to tell my coachees that even though they may be single and dating, not every man that they meet is going to have the same intentions. That’s why it’s important for you to love yourself fully, make sure you’re aligned with your goals and stay committed to your values.
This is eerily similar to the EX2 System, but can yield results. As an actual person that's used the method, I got stunning results after only a week, however, I should have pushed it out another week and it would have been much more effective and could have resulted in us getting back together, rather than meeting up and having sex in my Mustang one last time.
Most of us know that men are visual: you are wired that way. My best relationship advice for you is not to be so distracted by looks that you ignore the “character” of your partner (or potential partner.) By character I mean whether the person is kind, considerate, compassionate and loving – and not just when he or she wants something! Is their communication gentle or harsh? How do they ask for what they want? Is it a request or is it a demand?
Men tend to like women who are independent and confident. They prefer the relationship to be interdependent. Interdependence requires both of you to be dependent as well as independent. This means that you create a dedicated space for your friends, work, and passion. You should not lose grip of things that are vital to you. Keep doing what you were doing before you began dating him.
When you feel him start to fade, your response may make the difference between getting him to come back full throttle and watching him dash in the other direction. To know how to respond to a guy’s elusive behavior, it’s important to understand the reasons that guys seemingly ditch out of a relationship without any sign of trouble or forewarning. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]
The best way to optimize your chances of getting your ex bf back is to become Ungettable Girl.  You want to increase your value in his eyes and also make it difficult for him to reach you, talk to you, and see you.  This is just a small part of becoming the Ungettable Girl.  It’s also about making yourself beautiful in his eyes from afar.  He can see you, but now it is at a distance (through Snap chat, Facebook, etc).   Slowly over time, your ex boyfriend will crave you and you will do things to ensure that he feels that craving every day by using little jealousy ploys and rumors and chance encounters.  Your ex boyfriend loves nothing more than a good chase – so give him one.
Hey Adam I slept with a guy too soon and have been sleeping with him I don’t feel like he’s looking for anything serious cause he said he wants to take things slow after it all happened. I know he sees other women he told me he likes me an sees himself with me but not right now because he said he doesn’t think it will take much for us to get in a relationship so he wants to let more time pass he invited me to go on vacation with him I don’t know what any of this means really I tried to have an open talk with him about it by saying it’s okay tell me if you don’t want anything serious we can just end it now cause I don’t want to get hurt but he still claims he wants to be with me just not right away what do you think ? Should I run?
We both met through gay dating app in Feb-2018 and loved each other for 3 months and both used to express our love indirectly where my boyfriend used to like me a lot and used to chat with me daily with lot of interest and enthusiasm and use to share his pics where he goes and use to say everything. And we celebrated the first two months anniversary too . In 4th month that is in May-2018 i expressed to him directly that i love him and he said i liked you as a friend and but i could sense at that time he likes me but not expressing. Slowly he lost interest in me and but used to chat with me daily.

What I dislike about the article is that it really does not give any insight on how we can actually show the man that we were hurt and neglected. Would men like it if we had a come-and-go attitude? Is it too much to ask to think about the other person before disappearing? I don’t get it why we should be so bothered to not show our feelings, I doubt that a man would be more committed and less neglectful if after days he disappeared we would be like “oh I’m do glad I’m hearing back from you” as if everything is just fine. How convenient. It might give him the impression you had no problem with the whole thing while, while you did. Now let me ask you something personal since you are a dude, what about a man that does not text for 10 days while you had established daily or every two days fb messenger communication – while he gets online everyday and has liked another girl’s photo in the meantime. No, the girl was not a friend. I got really pissed off that he never talked to me for so long especially because of that and I told him. I disconnected and I do regret the whole situation. Just so you have the background, he was a guy I was seeing last year, we were together for about 3 months and when he sensed it was time to be official he just bailed out due to his personal problems-and indeed he was not at his best. He also quickly became distant and I blocked him with no explanation (I don’t take it that he would appear and disappear to taste) and then when I was calmer I unblocked him (did not reconnect though) and I explained myself. After another half year he texted me that he felt e distant too and reconnected with me and we had a daily communication pattern but we had not talked on where we stand which also bothered me.

Now you might be wondering, how can I fix this and undo the damage? The answer is the same as above, just pull back, give him space, and focus on yourself. Working overtime trying to undo the damage caused by acting needy is still you acting needy. It’s you being desperate for his approval and for his love and affection. Guys hate feeling that sort of pressure from a woman, the feeling that they need to be a certain way or she will get upset.

I’m sure that you’ve heard the saying the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence quite a few times before. It is very very relevant to love and relationships as well. After being with someone for a long time it is easy to be tempted by something new or to get bored! Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you can easily find someone better!

One of the keys to getting back together will be your ability to stay active and not let your sadness or depression lead to inaction. It is very common to want to stay on your couch, not do anything or have no desire to see anyone after a breakup. The issue is that if you do not force yourself to stay active and to undertake certain actions, you will keep digging yourself further and further down the hole.

Hi, my ex broke up with me a while ago. We went full no contact for about 8 weeks and then he finally texted me to catch up. We talked for about a month, hooked up a couple times, and he was treating/talking to me as if we were a couple. I want to get back together. So I’ve told him I still have feelings for him and eventually want to get back together. I know he still has feelings for me but he says he doesn’t know what he wants (We’re also doing long distance so this is a big reason of why he doesn’t know). I told him a week ago I can’t be just friends anymore so I went into no contact again. Was this the right move? I want him to realize he does want to get back together and be more that friends. Should I have just stayed friends and waited? Or was it smart to go no contact again!!
We went back to our place and he told me he wanted to break up with me for sure. I tried to reason with him again, to give me more time But he was sure, he had felt bad about changing his mind before apparently; after a couple hours of heated conversation, of me trying to convince him, he even told me he didn’t love me anymore ( which I’m not sure about, was he saying that so that i let go?). I gave in and we took my flight ticket back home. We spent the day after together, it was awesome and incredibly sad. I didn’t want to believe I was letting go of a life I wanted so much. He was so sad too, it felt like he was hurting a lot too.
Adam, can you, please, respond shortly to us, the ones we posted replies in here? At least a quick guidance about what you think the missing point of the big picture is in each of us situations! I don’t want to post a reply again on you tube. I just bought your book and another program, but until I will have the time to go through the entire thing and figure myself out WHERE I did wrong/or WHERE HE doesn’t pick up the pace, I could really use your educated smell that says it as it is! My guy is at work every time I run into him…he is Police, yeah, Mr. Police, but he is NOT ashamed to squeeze his head after me though, he just wanna make sure I don’t see him lately after he pulled off…so I don’t think he is not making the move bc the “work thing”….am I missing anything?
Of course, giving him space is really just the first step… but when it comes down to it there are 2 big problems every woman experiences in her relationships with men – so pay attention because what you do next is vitally important. The first problem you’re probably going through: if you’re already interested in a man and you feel he might be losing interest, going cold, or pulling away then you need to read this right now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
The trick is to give him plenty of space and always keep him wanting more. Even if you’re in a long distance relationship or you’ve been with your guy for years upon years, you should still let him miss you every now and then. Trust me, it’ll work wonders for your relationship. You shouldn’t HAVE to do all of this with guys but the sad fact is, you do with most of them.
I saw a whatsapp pick of a workmate on my guys phone, he said he used it to let someone leave him alone I got a bit jealous and now he for the first time in our relationship got distant and didn’t answer my calls or texts, I decided to leave him alone since he’s very busy with work but I saw him and it seems he’s chasing me down and came up to me, we had a good brief conversation, though short but I can sense he was happy to see me.
My partner and I have been together for 8 years and engaged for 9 months. We are both in our early 30's. For the month of April we have been arguing frequently, mainly because I wanted to finally move in together since we have been together for such a long time... everytime I would find an apt that was suitable for us, he would come up with an excuse. After a few weeks of searching, I finally found an apt that met all of his standards. On the following days, I took the opportunity to let him know how I was feeling due to the fact that we have been arguing about the moving in situation, and I was feeling some type of way, including feeling somewhat neglected etc. That same particular night, we got into another argument, this time was because he didn't want to stay over the night. I was so upset because I just expressed to him how I felt and i truly thought he understood my view. The very next day he came over my house to let me know that he needs space away from me to figure things out and to see whether we should stay together or not and says he no longer wants to move in with me. For the 1st 2 weeks I did the whole pleading and begging, then I stopped. It's been a month since we haven't seen each other;however, he still texts me and occasionally calls.. he still says that he loves me and that he misses me. Idk how to interpret his behavior.
Actually, in my research I found that a lot of experts recommend calling (after the no contact period.) I have read multiple stories of women who have actually had some success with this method. However, I don’t like the phone for a lot of reasons. First off, it doesn’t give you time to think. The second your ex boyfriend picks up (if he even picks up) you have to be on your toes and there is a lot that can go wrong. Not to mention he still may be a little resentful about the break up.
I kind of agree with both of you. I get what you mean with your post, Eric, some women just force into a relationship with a person who will never commit simply because he just does not feel the same way about her, and still she tries to push him. But I also agree that we sometimes, being more mature, I don’t know, have to act like if it was a game, knowing the right moves and words because otherwise the guy will freak out and just leave. I’m with a guy for 6 months now and he still is not sure if I’m “the one”, although we always have an amazing time when we’re together. Maybe he’s afraid to lose his freedom, or that I’ll be all jealous and stuff, but it’s very hard to pretend that I’m ok with this situation when all I wanted was a serious and honest conversation, but I have tried that in the past and he thought I was pressing him.
Hi, my boyfriend of 4+ years broke up with me. We went through about 2 months worth of breaking up. Sleeping in motels, gradually moving out back into my step-dads. We were basically married without the paperwork. His family called me their daughter-in-law, we shared bank accounts, bought a car together. And one day after a stupid argument, he woke up and said he wasn't happy. My whole world collapsed. Yeah I know we had problems here and there, but nothing serious enough to actually break-up over. I was shocked. He said he had warned me here and there about things, but I guess I didn't take it seriously enough. Had I known I would have never let this happen. He said he couldn't anymore. I had hurt him too much and he resented me too much to let go and move forward. I feel like I addressed my mistakes and apologized, but he didn't let me show him how I would try to fix them. Now he has finally dropped off the rest of my stuff, and our cat we got together, at the place Im staying at now. When we hugged and said goodbye I could feel him shaking but he still pushed me away. When he walked out the door he did turn around and wave with tears in his eyes, but he still left. He still would rather not be with me, than be with me. I want him back so bad, I know we are good for each other. Im willing to do anything. Will your system work? Should I try anymore? Is there even a chance?
External control psychology is thinking you know what's best for someone else and attempting to control the outcome based on this belief through punishment or other means.  The more it is used, the more relationships are harmed or destroyed. (information based on William Glasser’s Choice Theory in his book “Counseling with Choice Theory”). Even if he does commit after you walk away, you may have damaged the relationship.
Let’s say one night you decide to watch home movies from an old-fashion projector. You put in a video of you at 5 years old playing at your first recital. You curl up on the couch with popcorn and hot chocolate (two of your favorite things) and begin to watch. Unfortunately, there appears to be a weird blemish in the video, so you decide to change it and put on a video of your 10th birthday party but somehow the blemish is in that video too. So, you run over to the wall, wipe the screen, and put in one more video… yet again, the spot is still showing up.
Relationship quizzes for women shows that guys can easily recognize women who are stress-free. It is evolution that has trained a man to recognize happy women subconsciously. They also have this innate feeling that a stress-free woman is appealing and sexually attractive. Thus, the merrier you are, the better is the chances of you finding out the perfect partner for yourself.

My ex broke up with me 2 moths a go,after 4 years of relationship and 2.5 years happily living together,me and him come from difference part of the world and the religion, well non of this didn't matter from the beginning, I left my country go and stay with him 2 months happily, and then he ask me to go back and study the language and the religion which I was happy to do for him, I fly back home and start arranging our small wedding becoz be promise me that we will be coming to marry me 3 months of time, but suddenly he change and I felt that so I ask him then he broke up with me over a text msg, i beg him, I call him, million time nothing happened,He show me he is sad as well but this way is better, now he block me from everywhere, I love him so much and i can't move on, plz help


Thank you so much for the advice. I ended up sending a text two days ago just to check on him (nothing emotional) but I know I shouldn't have. He then last night blocked me on Instagram and deleted most of our pics. I think that is a nice way of saying leave me the heck alone until I am ready. Just very shocked after 4 years. But I will hold strong. Hopefully things will work out for the best.
i don’t really agree that a woman’s gotta give a guy space under every circumstance because sometimes when people are in steady relationships there might be scenarios where real problems arise which might require a ‘down-time’ but either way the only solution is to talk about it, if a guy doesn’t wanna talk and he just dissapears he doesn’t have respect for the woman and is not interested at all,so for him it’s just a game and for the ladies it’s really painful.so keep away from these type of men,especially if they start to act like this in the early phases of dating and peculiarly if you met them online.these online dating guys are not trustworthy and have parallel contacts
Hlo ,on 27th June he broken up with me,we spnd lot of time together,he is my first love and everything for me,ours relationship was to good evn in school all teachers know about tht we are in relationship, all students said made for each other ,I think about him always every minute ,I was wanting a2nd chance to solve the problem but he decided to breakup evn he doesn’t give any reason why he want to break up with me,i had sent him lot of msgs to convenience him,bt I also force him to continue the relationship otherwise I do sucide and all ,I know there is my mistake and I’m feeling guilty about this ,I was do this only because I don’t want let him go bt after doing this he starts hating.now he don’t evn want to talk me ,it’s hard it’s realize that I will never be with this boy again ,he is the boy who does not want to make me cry bt now he hates me because of my reason bt later I apologise him and try to convince him and pleased him to talk evn as a frnd but he doesn’t so please please please give me some advice how I get him back because I don’t want to leave him in any condition
Don’t fall in love with your man for his potential.  You want to bond with someone as they are now.  Sure, all signs point to him becoming successful and hard-working, but what if something occurs, like illness or disability, that would prevent that from happening?  Would you still love him?  Your man is not your project, so make sure you pick someone who you love just the way he is.
Emily Hellman is the founder and CEO of Caliber Match, a National Matchmaking Firm, where she uses her dating, relationship, and matchmaking expertise to give a personal touch to those seeking love or trying to keep love going. She couples her background in Psychology and coaching with her passion for helping others find and maintain healthy relationships. Emily is married and has two daughters.
I dated my ex for 4 years. We studied in the same campus and moved together to another campus to pursue our studies. The moment we came into our new campus, my ex's behaviour changed. He told me he wants to break up. A week later I found that he was with another girl from the same campus and I did nothing but just left it. A month later he came telling me that he wanted me back and I said ok, we got back together. I even asked him the reason behind his break up with the other girl and he told me that the girl isn't sincere and honest to him as I were to him. She even tried cheating on him. Months later again, he came telling me that he was confuse about our relationship and so on. We broke up again and he went back to the same girl again. Every time I confronted him about this issue, the only thing he tells me is that his feelings towards me changed and he wanted me to move on. It's been 2 months now since he is with the other girl now. Last week when I saw him, he cried to me saying that he loves me still but his feelings of being together with me was not there anymore instead it was there for the other girl. He told me to move on and no to wait for him. He said he wants to be with the other girl now. I asked him why does he want that girl so badly when she wasn't good enough and sincere to him and he replied me that the girl changed now. She is much open and honest to me now about everything that is happening in her life. All I could reply to him was Goodluck. His current girlfriend told him to block me in Whatsapp and he did but he still keeps me in his Facebook and Instagram. I'm confused by his actions. Can you help?
Hello. I broke up two weeks ago with my boyfriend after 5 years. we were living together so its much harder since he left the house. Its my fault, he doesnt trust me know but we also had a few communication problems and he is aware of these as he told me but he doesnt want to give another chance. I dont know what to do, i really want to show him that we must give it another try since we know our mistakes and we had a beautiful relationship all this time we were having fun, trips all the time, i know my mistakes know that i can think clear, i dont want to end up without give it a try. What should i do?:/
In this type of situation usually, the man will go back to the wife especially if there are kids involved because it is easier financially. As you know these relationships are not healthy and you do not deserve to be the other woman. You have more to offer than just being that. Even though he showered you with love and affection that is not enough. I believe what you should do moving forward is take a break and focus on you and see if he makes a move to file for divorce and be with you. Please feel free to reach out to me for a private session if you would like some guidance. I am here for you! 🙂
Sounds like pie in the sky? Well, according to Shawn Achor, if he knows everything about what factors are impinging on your happiness such as stressors, hassles, successes, economic circumstances, relationships and so on, then he can only predict 10% of your long term happiness. The remaining 90% is how you process the world around you. If happiness is on the other side of success, it is unlikely you will get there as you continually strive to get better grades, higher salaries and so on.
Believe that you are special and allow your man time to make himself aware of that. That means, you should have your dignity and not run or jump at his every beckon call. Through little actions such as, not answering a text in a matter of nanoseconds, will tell him that you are a busy woman who isn’t only focused on him. Plan time for yourself, and tell him politely that you will have to see him another time. He will start realizing that you have your own thoughts and opinions, as well as your own life, and that will drive him to you even more. Men won't be so attentive if they think that your life revolves around them. Make him get curious and wonder what is happening with you. Dont always spell it out for him.

I asked my friends if these "How to win your ex-girlfriend back" videos are true and do us guys have a chance of doing so. My girlfriend of 5 months broke up with me a week ago. We texted back and forward and she said she felt like we aren't right for each other. We came back from a trip from Arizona and she said while we were visiting her sister my behavior opened up her eyes and she saw me differently. She said she felt like I was isolating myself from her sister and her sister's husband, which I wasn't. She felt like I didn't want to be there. I DID want to be there with her. Of course I did. I didn't know what set that off. I felt the cold shoulder she was giving me half way through the trip and my mood change so I began to felt moody as well and that made things worst, but of course I didn't ignore her sister and her sister's husband. I was trying to focus more on what is setting her mood differently. We came back from the trip and she texted me when she got home that she needed time to think and through text she told me she was upset with me during the trip. She said she need space and didn't want to text me, so I skipped a full day of text and the day after she texted me to end things. I emailed her and texted that I love her very much and I believe we as a couple we go through bumps the first few months and if we love each other we can make it work. Correct small things early to get through bigger things in the future. She said she made up her mind and she isn't going to change it. She said she love me still but we're not meant to be. I know this is long but wanted to get all the details out. Does it look good and do I have a chance still? I want to have hope and faith that we will get back after I give her more time. She said time won't make a difference. Was she saying that because it was in the moment or does she really need more time to re think things? I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND I JUST CAN'T LET IT GO.
Now, I know that is easier said than done. Accepting “what is” requires putting down your judgments and assessment of things as good or bad. And, that can be extremely difficult to do especially when society has trained us from birth to call certain things good, righteous, and desirable and other things bad, wrong, or detestable – and has also taught us that being in a romantic relationship is the most noteworthy human accomplishment.

Okay so I'm a week into no contact and I've been ignoring his messages (he messaged me for the first 3 days and now has stopped) but loads of other articles and advice have told me that ignoring texts could make it worse and that I should reply casually but never reach out to them first. But on here im being told that I can't reply whatsoever. Help I really don't wanna mess this up

I would suggest that you try to stay focused and pick yourself up from this first. She may have the 'pick of the litter', but keep in mind that she did love you through the period you were together and probably still does have certain feelings for you. However, because she is in the new relationship with the other guy which is 'novel', she definitely has taken a stronger interest there at this point because its still a new thing. Work on improving yourself now because if ever there comes a point where you and her cross paths, you would want to be in the position to make a strong impression and to test her true feelings with the other boyfriend she's now with.


I have been seeing my boyfriend for about 8 months now. He completely swept me off my feet in the beginning (it was like a love bomb). He started changing a couple months after that — we never really “dated” — it just went from a couple dates where he would take me out and drop me off at my apartment and go back to his. Then, a few weeks later he was practically living in my apartment full time. He blames me for everything wrong in the relationship — shuts down emotionally now and we just had another blowout and he says to me he needs a week of space. I think he was just using me for convenience because my apartment was closer to his for work. I am so confused. He is not texting much anymore, not interested in my goals and things we used to share and that bonded us in the beginning. It just feels so empty and I can’t talk to him because he automatically says that I focus on him too much and I analyze the relationship too much. He calls me crazy and negative, among other things. He basically just comes over and sleeps. No connection, no emotion. I don’t know what to do anymore. I think it’s time to let him go — I also think he has narcissistic traits as i’ve been trying to read and educate myself. Could you offer any advice? Thank you.

Hey, I love this article. My ex and I broke up a month ago, I broke up with him, but then I came back telling him I wanted him back. He said he needed space to value me again, then when I started being too Clingy he said he just wanted to be friends I felt hurt and I hated the way he was treating me. He knew I was hurt by how he treated so I told him I’ll let him be. He called me twice this week but I didn’t answer and called again yesterday and I answered then he apologized for how he treated me, the conversation was brief. I’m trying to do the no contact thing for now but his birthday is in two weeks, I don’t know if to wish him happy birthday or not
The day we broke up, we went out fishing with two friends and it was really cool, and we went to see some of his friends play handball ( which is a very important part of his liife, but i have never played, so don’t really care, but I wanted to make the effort for him and to be with him). I was doing so good until he decided to go play ball with his friends during half time, leaving me alone on my chair, while I had come to be with him. There were two people I had talked to before close by ( which was his excuse to leave me) but they were talking the foreign language and imagine how hard it is to engage in the conversation when you don’t know what it,s about and you need to switch language… So i got mad at him and told him it wasn’t cool to leave me on my own.
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