Though it can be difficult to ask a man what he is looking for, it also challenges you to get one step closer to your goal. The more comfortable you are with this the easier it will become. I know that some people may not always take my advice to challenge themselves and ask the man what he is looking for, so I want to give you some other clues on what to pay attention to if you don’t want to have this conversation with him. Side note, I am in no way I offering you a pass to wiggle out of the conversation! Remember, challenge yourself.
Seriously though, if you see any book, product or article that guarantees that it can get you your ex back 100% of the time you should stop and realize that you are probably about to look at something that was made up just to get you to buy it or read it. Ironically, a lot of the stuff out there that makes these ridiculous claims offer no value and leave you feeling taken advantage of.
Important Note: While I do believe – and have seen proof – that the advice and programs I provide can help you improve your love life , please understand that not everyone will experience the exact same results. To get the best results, you must use the advice I give you. Every person is an individual and every situation is unique so no single piece of advice will work for everyone at every time. But I can tell you that if you read the advice and continually apply it in your life, your chances of success increase dramatically. And I’m here to help you every step of the way. Let’s get started!
Hi! Last month, my boyfriend of 2 years moved out of state to finish his last year of school. We agreed to make an LDR work. It was hard, but we had so many trips planned to visit each other and were madly in love - a year apart didn’t seem that bad. He began struggling with depression. Last week he broke up with me, asking for space to get the help he needs. He told me that he was 100% sure he’d be back for me when he was ready, and made multiple remarks about me being his future wife. I felt at peace - we had a kind and mutual breakup, and there was hope for a future. Four days later he has found a brand new girl and is proudly flaunting her on social media. I kindly confronted him about it, and he ignored me. I then blocked him on social media (not wanting to see them happy), and now he is angry. Why would he promise a future with me, if he has her? Why is he angry at me for blocking him? What do I do? I miss him, and it kills me to see him so happy with her.
My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago. When we started dating we were both so happy. But last summer my father got diagnosed with cancer and I had a hard time dealing. He died this spring. I was more angry than sad for his loss, cut ties with my friends, got insecure. My boyfriend was very supportive. But I relied only on him to make me happy, complained that he did not show enough affection (even though he did more than enough, I was just afraid of losing him). Which ended in us having a big fight 3 months ago. We made up the next day, promising to work it out. So I started to get back in touch with friends, improve my mental health, plan dates for us. Then he went on a long-planned 3-week trip. We didn‘t text much during the trip and when he came back that didn‘t change. He didn’t even want to meet until days after he came back. He brought me presents from his trip - then broke up with me. He said he had thought a lot and he felt like I needed more affection than he could give. He seemed genuinely sad and torn. I texted him days later, saying I was ashamed of my behaviour in the past, that I had already changed so much while he was gone. He answered that he had been happy with me too, but could not share his feelings with me and did not see a future for us anymore. But he would like to be friends, as we enjoyed each others company. So again I texted, that I was sorry his decision seemed best for him. That I knew I was egoistical im the past but had done everything I could to make him feel safe with me. He did not answer and I did not text again.

“It’s natural for him to drift away sometimes. That’s because most men are afraid of becoming vulnerable.” – That’s not the main issue here at all. I’ll put this as simply as I can – a man’s purpose in life is to kick ass. Maintaining a relationship is very different from kicking ass – it often involves the exact opposite kind of thinking and behavior. If a man spends all of his time and energy on a relationship, there’s no time and energy left to kick ass. How do you feel when you have insufficient time in your life to live true to your purpose? Men do have to face the same vulnerability issues everyone does, but that’s a different problem where the man fears something could be be taken away from him. In the common case, where the man likes the relationship but withdraws anyway, what actively hurts is that he can’t give himself what he needs. It’s not a fear of a future loss that’s hurting him – it’s the active presence of a loss in his life right now.
One of the best ways to make a guy miss you is to have fun without him. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but your guy wants to be the only thing that makes you happy. If you’re having fun without him (a girls’ night out, some really cool skydiving lessons, etc.), then he’s going to want to be part of the fun. Men like to be the ones to make you smile, and if you’re smiling without him he’ll notice and he’ll pay more attention.
Kimberly Seltzer is a Makeover & Confidence Expert, Therapist and Dating Coach based in Los Angeles. She utilizes the unique combined use of therapy, in-field date coaching, NLP and styling to help people with their confidence and dating life. She is a regular contributor to the Huffington Post, DigitalRomance.com, WorldLifeStyle.com and YourTango and is featured in Cosmopolitan Magazine, AskMen, Fox News Magazine, Redbook and Yahoo Shine. Check out Kimberly’s site seltzerstyle.com.
I have recently read your article today and it’s helped me so much. I have been on/off with my ex for nearly 2 years. I done the break up. He told me a few weeks ago that I needed to move on and he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore. I panicked and started coming out with feelings. I didn’t realise that it was wrong and practically started begging. I’m sticking to the 30 day challenge but I mistakenly messaged him this morning miss reading your article and said I wouldn’t be contacting him for a while and I’ll message him at some point again. Is that wrong that I said that? That’s all I said. I will be messaging him again in mid July just to see what he says about meeting up again and see if he agrees. We kind of need a break and I definitely need this as I have been such a mess. I wish I found this article sooner as I was really unhappy and we panicked because we didn’t want to lose each other. Maybe it’s over now for good, but I need this challenge to make myself feel better and start thinking of myself for a change.
Back to my original point, something happened in the past two days that shocked me and left me feeling confused and going back to square one of No Contact and coping with the breakup. She texted me yesterday to ask how I was doing. As I was preoccupied by focusing on my happiness and playing pool with a friend, I was ignoring my phone. An hour of playing pool goes by, and I turn to see her standing near where we used to hang out. I continue to play pool and talk to the friend I'm playing with, and I make some comments about movies I haven't seen, and I try to look confident despite what I'm feeling inside. I then pluck up the courage to actually talk to her. She says that she came by to say hello as it had been a while, and I point out that it had literally been only a weekend and a day (from Thursday, so it had literally been 4-5 days since we'd seen one another or talked.)I told her that I didn't expect to see her, and then broke it to her that I think we need more space from each other. She said that she didn't know that that was how I felt because she hadn't heard from me, but I told her that because she asked for a breakup, I was giving her what she asked for by not trying to text or call her about it, especially because the breakup was what she wanted. I told her that part of me focusing on me was me realizing that this was going to hurt me and realizing that I do not need to be engaging in something that will cause me pain. She again said "Okay, I understand if that is what you want." I told her that it isn't what I want, but what we both need, especially since she asked for the breakup. After, she made a comment about me being with this friend of mine that seemed a little like jealousy, which caused me to snap and say something that wasn't true about how I had brushed this friend off for a while because of her discomfort towards him (which was only partly true.) Anyway, I saw her today in a commons area as she sat in my direct line of vision and kept looking over at me. I went over to apologize and establish that I still wanted distance, but.. The notion that she was sitting in what seemed a deliberate spot to see me made me feel quite uncomfortable and a little scared. When I went up to her, she looked as if she had cried recently. She looked very unhappy. However, I know to be strong and not get lured back into this just because she is showing me that SHE is miserable. If insecurity will cause someone to breakup with someone, it will also cause someone to rethink getting back together and honestly push them further away, right? If she is trying to get me to move on from her, unfortunately she's taking a route that will make it easy for me to do so. It is clear to me from her actions that she is very unsure of what she wants. One minute, she says that she wants a breakup and space, but it seems as though she has done a 180 now that I have asked to go through with more time and space and told her that I need it as well. It's as if she wants me in her life, but is confused as to how and is now showing a disrespect of my wants in favor of her own, which is in turn confusing, hurting, and scaring me. After such a relatively good relationship, this period of direct After Relationship is starting to feel very scary and worrisome and almost toxic.

Think beyond dinner and after-drinks for your next date. "The best type of date allows you to stop texting, put the phone down, and really foster a deep connection," Kelman says. Restaurants can be nice, but try something a little outside your comfort zone from time to time. Check out a craft beer festival, see a local band at some hole-in-the-wall, or challenge him to a mountain bike race. A new adventure can fortify your relationship since it gives you shared memories to reminiscence about later, and that stronger bond will increase the likelihood he'll want to keep seeing you, exclusively.


Don’t make him a priority. Instead of carrying on with your life as normal, you decide to make him the center of your universe. You cancel plans with your friends to hang out with him, you change your Facebook relationship status, you even daydream about what he’d look like in a tux on our wedding day. This is all so very wrong. It’s still the very early stages, so he shouldn’t automatically earn a top spot in your life—at least not for a while yet.
Me and my BF have been dating a for a year in a long distance relationship( about 3 hours driving distance) . He does not like when guys hit on me via social and they leave comments under photos. I have told them to stop posting heart eyes and and even deleted them as friends. My ex broke up with me after one person has left 3 different comments over the last few months. I have no control over what others do and I don't know what else to do to get him to see that. I have made the mistake of contacting him day after day asking that we try to amend things, but he keeps repeating he is done and wishes me well. But finally today I came across this site and decided to give him the space hes asked for so that he may come back to me and so he has time to think things through without me being "Needy or desperate". It has only been 5 days and he is still replying to some text but refuses to speak to me over the phone. I am going crazy, especially since we were coming up on our "Official" 1 year anniversary in 2 weeks. I will do my best for the 30 day no contact. I want to be with him, get married, start a family and live a great life together. Hopefully this advice works. Wish me luck.

Spend time doing the things you enjoy, catch up with friends, read a good book, go for a good long walk, watch your favourite movie, take up a new hobby, do whatever it takes to distract your mind temporarily. He may just need a little space and really, there is nothing wrong with that, as long as that is all that it is. If you feel this guy has lost interest or does not value you for who you are, then trust your gut feeling and be grateful for whatever good you have received from the meeting, say a silent thank you for the time spent and the lessons and turn all of your attentions to yourself. Realise that you never need someone else to validate you, make you happy, or make you feel worthwhile. You can do all of that for yourself.


my bf left me for another girl.he keeps telling me that i am nothing to him.he wants to b with the other girl.he has no feeling for me anymore.this has started more than one year ago.by this time he also speak to me but not on his own mood or to rebuild our relationship.he does so becz i request him to be with me at least for some hours or some minute… we talk only 2 or 3 days per a week…but I can’t stay without him I want him back.plzz help me…if this is possible for me to get him back as my bf again??
They tell us they aren't capable of being in a long-term, exclusive relationship. They tell us they think women are controlling and selfish and don't know how to stop feeling that way. And yet we bypass these statements. The words go in one ear and out the other. Or we remember them but refuse to believe them. We tell ourselves, "He's just wounded!" or "He's lying to protect himself."
Let him make the plans. If he wants you, he’s going to have to come and get you, damn it! Don’t put yourself on a plate for him—make him work hard for it before you agree to meet up or speak to him. In the past, I’ve said that I’m busy even though I’m not just to get a reaction that’s usually on the lines of, “Oh no, that’s a shame! I really wanted to see you! How about tomorrow or the day after?” If you turn him down regularly, he’ll fight even harder for you. True story.
Three weeks ago I had birthday and he said he would celebrate with me. Last minute he cancelled due to work so I was very upset:( After that I asked him to not communicate with me because I am angry at him. We went quite for a weeks and later started being in touch but since that time he’s contact me is much less frequent and he never calls me – just text. But he still writes that he loves me so much and he misses me!! I do not understand his behavior… Please tell me what you think…
Me and my girlfriend of 2 years broke up in September a week before our 2 year anniversary and my birthday. I have tried doing no contact but have talked to her a few times and even gotten coffee with her just to chat. I have tried my best to continue on contact but she recently just texted me asking if I would start coming back to church. She said it would be nice to see me at church again. A little context we used to go to church together all the time and are part of a church community that we met at and started dating because of. I really miss going to the church and miss the friends i made there. Should i continue to do no contact? I dont quite know what i should message her in response to her asking me to come back to church without coming off as rude. and I don't want her to think im mad at her by not responding to her at all. What should I do?

This guy I went on a few dates with recently told me that I was a cool person but he thought that we weren’t compatible in the long run. He still talks to me through texting often. After he told me, I didn’t react and simply said “oh OK”.Then he asked me if I was pissed off or upset about it. I simply replied that I was fine and he told me I was cooler than he thought.
How to get an ex back through reverse psychology? Well you can start by engaging in their game of bluff! I hear people tell me the following all the time: “my ex says they don’t love me anymore”; or “My ex boyfriend said that he still has feelings but that it’s probably best that we stop seeing each other”; or “My ex girlfriend says that all she wants is for me to find someone else and to be happy”!
I hope this article helped you better understand why guys pull away. But there is more you need to be aware of. Most guys will start to pull away at some point. They may even lose interest. You may notice he’s acting colder and he’s less responsive and attentive to you. Do you know how to handle it when this happens? If not, you run the risk of making a common, and major, mistake that might push him further away so be sure to read this next: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
hi. i broke up with my ex girlfriend (2 weeks ago) for a second time after 7 months. We were together for 4 years now. In Oct last year, we broke up because of my mistake. i was rude to her when she did something i didn't like, and it took me 1 month to get her back. i followed radio silence technique and be very persistent to make a point to text her every 2-3 days. one thing that helped was back then, she was working in a new company and her boss was emotionally abusive. i had the opportunity to be there for her and promised her i will change (and she acknowledges that during this break up that i've changed 90%). the reason for the break up is 1) she wants to explore herself as she's only 25. we got together when she was 21. (i'm 30 right now). 2) she said she can't forget the past hurt that i've caused her. 3) she said i'm a great guy, she still love me and will miss me as we're part of each other already. 4) my dominant character has sort of overshadow her to be independent.
I was reading your article and I just had to write to you and ask for your guidance. I have been seeing a married man for almost two years. Everything was great and it seemed as we were going to be together then I am not sure what happened about 2-3 months ago that he just started to pull away and makes the excuse that he’s doing what he’s doing to protect us. Not sure what that means…. Confused, and heart broken
My boyfriend and i have been together for 1 year and 1 month. He goes to a different school and he starts talking to this new girl. Just days before, he kept on reassuring me that he wanted to be forever and he is not going to leave me for anybody else. So i thought that he meant it. I feel like he really does love me deep down inside but he just doesn't want to say anything. I love him with all of my heart and he cheated on me and then i begged him to get back with me. I know that that is backwards because usually when someone cheats, they want to get back with their spouse. but he didnt want to. After we had the fight about cheating, we started to talk. So i started to google signs that your ex wants you back. He would tell me their status, he said that they are not dating but they are talking but on all of her instagram pics, she now tags him. I said that i love him and he said that he loves me too. He then blocked me on instagram and snapchat and if i text him he will leave me on read. I know that i deserve better but i love him and i am in love with him. What do i do?
Hey girl! so, Birsel-love, dear, while I’m no expert in the area of love, (I dont consider myself one at least) but, from women to women, from girl to girl, I would be of most happy to service you on my advice on this. Can I? May I? please? if so, then carry on, read, but honestly, if not, at least, at the bare minimum, would you mind considering this just a little? ‘kay? thank you, I appreciate your thoughtfulness, even if i don’t get to see you reading this, its a step.❤ ( WAY BELOW, AFTER THE DOT LINE, IS some expert ADVICE: check it out; she’s yrs married now)
In fact, for a lot of women this is a natural part of a relationship too. It is really hard to be “on” all the time. For a man, having seasons of drift is totally normal even if he is madly in love with you. Falling in love can make him feel vulnerable and distance is sometimes a natural response to that fear of closeness. He’ll come in and out as he works out his feelings and becomes comfortable in the relationship.

You are going to have to dig a bit deeper than the usual clichés in order to feel confident about how to get back with your ex. You are basically setting the stage or the foundation for the entire process; it is fundamental to make sure that you will be able to convey to your ex that you now understand how they feel, and that you are prepared to evolve in order not to commit the same mistakes! That’s key in figuring out the answer to the question you’ve been asking yourself: how to make my ex want me back!

2 months ago I reconnected with the love of my life from 20 years ago. He calls me very night and we talk on the phone for hours. We are both single. Ive hinted to him that im interested in more than a friendship but he doesnt respond and changes the conversation. I havent hinted anymore. He hasnt even mentioned about seeing each other. We live in the same city. He is having a rough financial time right now. He even had to sell his car. Am I in the friend zone or should I wait to see if this develops into something more?
Well he could have genuinely meant the breakup, but habits are a little harder to cut off, which is why he still acts similarly at times towards you. However, if you want to win him back, you're going to have to focus on recovery and working on yourself first with as little distraction or setback from him as possible. Living together at right now won't be a good idea until both of you are at least beginning to work on the relationship again.

He broke up with me last week because he didn't feel it was right anymore. He said didn't love me anymore. He didn't imagine me in his future anymore. He said he hasn't been feeling the same feeling from when we started dating for two months. He didn't tell me right away because he wanted to love me. He wanted to believe he loved me. He said he wished he loved me and that we worked out. He apologised to me for not feeling the same way anymore.


Whether you’re looking to be in a relationship or already in one, pay close attention to the man you desire to be and make sure you are being just such a person. Be honest and congruent with who you say you are, and match it with who you appear to be with others. You know how someone says something about you and it makes you feel good deep down inside, because that’s exactly who you feel like you are. That’s being confident and true to who you believe you are. Walk in that. Imagine if this were the case with you and the person you want to be in a relationship with. It makes for a hell of a relationship.
Develop a playful sense of humor. What do girls say they look for most in guys? A sense of humor and a playful attitude These two traits are attractive because they tell other people that we're youthful and not aggressive. So learn a few jokes if you can (friends are always good to try them out on) and keep the ones that work and throw away the ones that don't. Learn to make fun of yourself a little, in a confident way — not a mopey way. And, for goodness sake, be playful, especially when you're around her. Tease her lovingly, or play a small prank on a friend. You'll notice the difference in her.
Well she called me Sunday and I was asking her what was wrong. She said she didn't know, she just didn't feel like herself and that she felt weird. She was acting kind of weird like she wanted to tell me something but was playing dumb. So we stay on the phone for the rest of the night just talking about whatever. We laughed n shit. It was good. Then she told me that she wanted to play Fortnite Saturday night but didnt wanna bother me. I said I did too but I didn't because of the night before. I told her I was surprised that she called me to talk. She asked "you didnt want me to?" and I said "no of course but again, friday". She said "yeah I know". I told her why I didnt talk to her Saturday so I could have a clear mind about things and what happened. Told her I missed her and we got into talking about getting back together. She was taking it really well and listening. Not much conversation. She said she was gonna get a shower and that shed call me when she got out. So she calls me back and I was gonna forget the conversation but she said "you had something you wanted to talk about?" and I thought she wanted to talk about it too so I brought it up again and she just said "well I already told you how I felt on Friday". I said "yeah I know" and changed the subject and we fell asleep on the phone. She also facetimed me for a lil while like we used to.
You’re letting him know that things have come to this, a turning point.  Either you’re going to stay friends (without benefits!) or you’re going to get back together.  But he has to know that it’s not going to work both ways.  You’re not going to “wait for him” and sit idly by as time moves on.  You should move on and if he really wants you in his life, he will initiate contact and let you know that he misses you.
It’s also incredibly important to remember that anger can lead you down roads that have no turn around point. Sure, you may be hurting, he may have gone back on everything he ever said, he may be out there right now having the time of his life, but that doesn’t give you the right to be bitter. If you start lashing out because of your hurt, then you will push him away much further than you’ll ever be able to reach and there isn’t any coming back from that.
Even if you want to win her back, you're going to have to accept and process the breakup either way because it's unlikely that you'll win her back simply by being the same person as you were. The panicking and desperate behaviors also would have made her feel more strongly about the breakup, and you're going to need to give both parties space right now. Go into no contact and process your emotions, follow the guidelines in our articles, before reaching out to her again.
Found out a guy who I was secretly in love with for 9’years also had feelings for me. He reached out to me first and we connected immediately (even though We had been aquentinces) . Intense chemistry, he was telling me within weeks that he was falling for me, that he would go through his horrible divorce all over again of it meant being with me, how beautiful I am, how refreshing it is to have someone who gets his large family and who already knows them, included me in days with his daughter, we slept together 2x, he would… Read more »
Pursue your passion. Most of us may struggle to say what our passion in life is. We are too bogged down in our obligations, responsibilities, and routines to carve out any time to give some thought to the things we are passionate about. Your time of no contact is as good a time as any to figure it out. Maybe you’ve always had a love for good art. Maybe you are excited by gardening or writing. Take this time to do those things Also, take this time to try something new. You might just find a passion for something you didn’t know you had before. Engaging in the activities and hobbies that we love, that we are good at, and that we are passionate about go a long way to remind us of our essence and make us feel alive again.
If you sense that all your efforts to improve your relationship are not bearing fruit, don’t delay the inevitable.  Yes, being single can appear scary at first, but better alone than stuck in a relationship that is draining the joy and spark out of you.  You don’t want to wake up at fifty or sixty years old to discover that you’ve wasted your love on a guy that never appreciated what you had to offer.
Paige Armstrong, MSW, LCSW, has over 15 years of international and national clinical, program development, and management experience. She has served as psychotherapist, coach, educator and speaker across small to mid- size companies. Over the course of her career, she has successfully fostered recovery for a diversity of populations – at-risk youth, Fortune 500 CEOs, professional athletes, and high achievers. Check out her website www.lifeenrichmentnc.com.
Considering the total length you've been together, you're going to need to give her quite a bit of distance to let her do whatever she feels she needs to do at this point, especially if you were her first love and she may potentially be going through a mid-life crisis. Under these circumstances, the greater you push, the more she'll resent you because if she feels this strongly about wanting her independence, she'll feel just as strongly against anyone who interferes with it.

When she contacted him, her ex was very excited. This time, he asked to meet up. When they did finally meet up, Mindy was a little bit disappointed in him. He was still the same person. She felt that he was manipulative and controlling. He wanted to keep her as a backup while fooling around with other girls. The second date confirmed her feelings when he told her that he loves her but doesn’t want to commit yet. She found out from her friends that he was dating a couple other girls as well.
Biologically and traditionally males chase females and females choose which male they want as a mate. So to be masculine you are supposed to chase, and to be feminine you are supposed to receive the chase (if you are interested in the male). If you personally do not like to chase women, that is your personal preference. But that is not the norm for males. Having said that, I don’t think it’s wrong if you prefer the female to chase you. But I do think it’s counter productive for you to pull away from a female for any of the reasons you have listed and then expect her to chase after you because of it, and if she doesn’t you lose interest. It sounds like you’re testing her when you put it that way, and no one likes those kind of games.
"Not all guys are outright about their interest, but there are certain signs you can definitely look for. If you've developed an inside joke, that's for sure a good thing. How polite is he being? Is he buying drinks? Offering his seat? Walking you home/to the train? Is he staying out way later than he should? Generally trying to make sure you're enjoying yourself? Is it super easy to convince him to get one more round when he has to wake up for work at seven? He might be miserable the next day...but he probably won't mind." Brady O.
Made me decide that I did not want my ex back! I already new that, but thought after 4 years of being with them, maybe I should try. But it does have some helpful stuff, but deep down everyone know these things already. Don't agree with the no contact advice, but maybe some ppl need to hear this and use it. I had no reason to contact him or even a desire to. We were just too far apart on important issues and was my ex was unwilling to change, my ex wanted me to change my core beliefs to theirs. There are some good advice about learning about yourself in the book and everyone should know that no one can make u happy but yourself! I am glad this person is out of my life, and have met a very nice person with similar goals, wants and needs as I. So remember ppl there are lots of men and women out there, and one is just waiting for you! But they are not going to come knocking on your door, get out there and meet new ppl!
Another reason your man act differently is based on fear. Maybe he’s been hurt in the past. Or maybe the idea of commitment simply petrifies him. If you two can discuss whatever the issue is and begin to deal with it, there’s a good chance that you can then begin to create something real and lasting together. Often, fears crop up in a relationship because a person wants to deal with those doubts and move past them. If you can be a steady, reassuring partner that isn’t pushing too hard, while he deals with what’s scaring him, you two just might build a foundation together.
This is important for you and for him.    Your body and mind are reflections of your well-being so devote time and money to your self-care.  Your man is attached to you both emotionally and physically, so it is worth maintaining both your outward appearance and your mental health by paying attention to their good working state.  Don’t let yourself go.  Eat healthfully and incorporate physical movement into your day.  Take time to practice activities that nourish your spirit and challenge your mind.
So, get this. I’ve been seeing this guy for almost 3 months now, so not long. We have taken things pretty casually, I don’t know his past & haven’t asked. When it comes to ‘feelings’ I can tell he is not safe talking about it. We are completely compatible, and honestly I feel as if he’s my person. When we first started talking, we discussed about meeting the parents in general, and he expressed how he doesn’t bring just anyone home to his family & he wants to be sure they will be around for a while before doing so. So, I let him make the call as to when that would happen, if it would. A few weeks ago, he told me to reserve a specific date open for going home to meet his family. Which was just a week ago. Of course, it was the perfect weekend. Introduced me to his whole family, classmates, and family friends, and stayed an extra day than planned. 3 days later, I sent him a nice text- did not say the L word, but was pretty strong feeling. He replied with not feeling the same as me, and didn’t want to waste my time. I have tried calling him one time to get an explanation and he has not responded. Haven’t bugged him since the phone call. It’s so frustrating where 48 hrs prior to the text I was with him at his parents and seen absolutely no red flags. What should I do? What does this mean? I have never had a guy ‘pull away’ before.
Avoid forcing yourself to believe that he is nice guy and hasn’t done anything wrong, which is why you should continue being with him. This is like convincing yourself of something that probably isn’t right. The bottom line is that you need to be in a relationship where you feel happy and respected. You should feel good without him, but even better when you are with him.
As an independent woman, it’s time to re-frame and re-write your own happiness. The best place to begin is by considering your values and what matters most to you in a relationship. For example, if family is a priority for you, then the best decisions will be those that support your family nucleus or extended family. What’s fundamentally important to you will translate into who you pick as a partner, whose career takes priority if you’re half of a couple, household responsibilities if you share a home, parenting roles for those with children, and much more.
More often than not if you have gotten this far in your conquest to get them back they are going to respond back positively. Except this time you are going to engage them in a conversation but make sure that you don’t go too fast. Remember, you still have to be the one to end the conversation first. Lets look at how a conversation like this might play out using an example from above:
They’re overbearing, nagging, and completely disconnected from their man by refusing to acknowledge he has feelings of his own. Women tend to forget that women are generally emotional trains waiting to derail any second. What a self-centered attitude to tell a man to “get over it” whenever they feel mad, hurt, or sad. You are literally commanding him to.. *drum roll*… WITHDRAW!
I met this guy on holiday and when we both returned to our prospective countries ( 1-1.5 hrs away by plane) we stayed in contact with each other. Over the last 6 months I’ve used your tips whenever he pulls away emotionally ie not texting back or initiating conversation and it works really well. The problem is He’s constantly wanting to talk dirty or about phone sex etc, which is fine and I like but I just want to see him again or at least know that he has plans to see me again before I oblige. I haven’t said this to him, I just avoid the the phone sex suggestions or make a joke whenever they come up but this really annoys him and causes him to pull away. He doesn’t say it but his actions suggest this. We are in another cycle of him pulling away as a result and i’ve Sent him a couple of messages to reach out but received no reply.... Help, I really like this guy, we have a strong connection and I would like this to go further but he’s now in his cave, only, this time I worry that he won’t be coming out, for me at least, this time
I met a guy on a dating app and we hit it off right away, the first date we kissed and had a ton in common which is so rare for me. Things moved quickly from there and we were seeing eachother one a regular basis (2-3 times a week), texting daily and I stayed at his place every weekend. He planned great dates and would regularly follow up to make plans. Although on one hand I started to really fall for him, I did have some concerns about his communication. When I asked questions about his past, he was very vague about his previous relationships and closed off to discussing them. He also seemed not very experienced with dating/sex which I didn't mind. He told me he had not had a girl friend in high school or university and had been single for 5 years (so most of his life he has been single). That is the most I got out of him.

You need to get him intrigued, which will keep him wanting for more. You need to wait for him to text you back. When you ask him out, do not always say yes. You should sometimes reply saying that you have other plans and shift the date to some other day. This will make him feel that your time is valuable and that he needs to go out of his way to meet you in the middle.


First things first, you are going to become the sexiest version of yourself that the world has ever seen. Let’s say you and I were dating and we had a fight and broke up (I know I am a horrible boyfriend 😉 .) Anyways, after a month of you basically freezing me out (no contact) I happen to bump into you at a Starbucks or somewhere where we both frequented. The first thought I have of our encounter will be based on the choices that you made during the 30 day no contact period. If you sat around feeling sorry for yourself and ate ice cream on the couch all day I will probably think “she looks terrible.” However, if you spent that no contact time working on yourself physically and mentally I am probably going to think “WOW! She is even more beautiful than I remember.”
Whether you’re looking to be in a relationship or already in one, pay close attention to the man you desire to be and make sure you are being just such a person. Be honest and congruent with who you say you are, and match it with who you appear to be with others. You know how someone says something about you and it makes you feel good deep down inside, because that’s exactly who you feel like you are. That’s being confident and true to who you believe you are. Walk in that. Imagine if this were the case with you and the person you want to be in a relationship with. It makes for a hell of a relationship.

We ran into each other randomly about five years later. I was stunned to see him (he was in my house of all places, someone brought him to a party there and he had no idea he’d be seeing me!). I could barely speak I was so nervous. We chatted for a bit, then he messaged me on Facebook a few days later and we talked for hours and hours, I was positive that this was the beginning of round two for us, but then he went dark again. A few more years went by and we ran into each other again. Once again I had soaring high hopes… and then was crushed again when nothing came of it (I found out later he had a girlfriend at the time).

A while ago, my boyfriend told me he was done with me. That we could remain friends. I find it hard going to friendship from being lovers. Ok, so we still communicate, and Im welcome to his house, n even meet for coffee. I still love him but I think Im confused because whenever I try asking about "us" , he avoids the topic altogether. Is he just tagging me along as he looks for another lady? What should I do? Help a confused sister here.


First, let him know that you want a relationship. Talk to him about what that means to you and that it includes a “commitment” to something more than a friendship. Ask him how he feels and if he has considered it. Let him know that a relationship is important to you and that you don’t want to waste time with someone who does not want the same thing.
As an older man, I’m not sure if I can explain what’s happening and how relationships have changed over the past 40 years or so. Young men, like my son and his friends, view relationships differently from their fathers and are in the process of changing the relationship landscape forever. In my day, marriage was assumed and divorce was rare. Today, divorce is assumed, along with alimony and marriage, is to be avoided at all costs. Your boyfriends might not be pulling away from you as much as they are pulling away from a society that views them as disposable… Read more »
Most pre-teen boys, though not yet sprouting facial hair, somehow have the uncanny ability to nail down every last detail of their dream vehicle.  Could it go from zero to sixty in three seconds flat?  Would it have 4, 6, or 8 cylinders?  How about those coveted rims, 4 wheel lift, doors, panels, and hardware?  The list is as endless as the options are available.

Because having satisfying joyful relationships may require some soul-searching and new approaches, people benefit from the guidance and encouragement from Relationship Expert, Marcy Rich. Marcy is a highly skilled and talented Relationship Coach, Facilitator and Educator who works primarily with single people, couples and families. Marcy’s one on one coaching sessions, group forums and workshops strive to empower people to have better relationships with themselves so they better connect with others.
Too often women try to change men into something that they really are not. Before you embark on your commitment campaign ask yourself if he is the committment type. This will make your job much easier and save you a lot of embarassment and trouble down the line. If the guy wants to settle down with you, he will and sometimes the only thing that changes his mind is you telling him that he needs to. If he is not the type that wants to settle down do not put yourself on a high pedestal like so many women and get yourself believing that he played aaround with adozen women before you but you are the special one that he needs. Again twisting his arm is not necessary if you nand he are on the same page. If he really wants to settle down, he will withoung the convincing. Just dont allow him to settle when he seems out of options.
I am currently in 'no contact' - I haven't spoken to my ex boyfriend since the break-up, which was about three weeks ago. Our relationship was incredibly close: we were together for two years, we had exchanged promise rings and often talked about our future (marriage, etc.)... I love him so much. He is a genuinely lovely, altruistic and romantic guy and we share so much in common, in terms of interests and values. He used to say I made him so happy, content and that I was his best friend, as well as his girlfriend.

Would if children were involved??????÷!!! EVEN AS CLOSE FRIENDS FOR A COUPLE Of YEARS!!! Four children involved…..one mine, three his. My daughter and his daughter in same school and class. Last time I heard from him waS a text messge New Years Eve….told me he was still working. The guy is 47…..it sucks for me….but my child wants to know what happened to him….and wants to play with his daughter. Not only that…his daughter and my daughter taLk in class and tell each other they want to play.

That being said, and long story short, my temper got the better of me when I started feeling neglected... again. I’m not proud of this, I am ashamed. I acted the same way I would act before. I was so certain I had left that part go during no contact. I know the whole point of no contact period is to work on myself and I did! I swear. Apparently it wasn’t enough? I’m not sure. But after being affectionate, cuddling, sex, the openness of sharing everything, to all of a sudden seeing her so distant again, I guess I just panicked. She was as she was when we were about to break up. NO EXCUSES. I fucked up, plain and simple.
This cannot be considered acceptable due to one person’s higher testosterone levels. . Even with his extenuating circumstances, this departure went far beyond any excusable or understandable behavior, and it devastated me, causing me to question many things I thought were firm, honest beliefs. Nothing I had done or we had weathered warranted an abrupt-almost deliberately cruel departure. I get what so many people are saying here. We ‘get’ men need more space, but, many learn to use this as license to avoid painful conflicts or act horridly. It’s as much give & take as everything in love & some men take their fill, with no responsibility felt to give the most basic of human actions. Great article. Cut close.

Hey. I dated this guy for four years and I figured he was the love of my life. Over the last few months however we had been arguing a lot because of insecurities on my part. We had a serious argument that pushed him too far and he broke and told me that he couldn’t see himself going anywhere with me after it despite loving me and that I brought out the worst in him at that moment. I threw something belonging to him across the room in the argument and proceeded to ask him to leave. I’d been reminded of an earlier issue and just reacted without thought. It hurts a lot not only because Ive lost him but because I know I’m the reason. At first I was angry but asked him if there was anything I could do to fix my wrongs and if he was sure there was nothing left to fight for. He told me he’s serious about it and it’s not what he wants anymore, that I have issues with the way I want to handle things. He even brought up my abuse and told me he thinks I’m like that because I grew up in a violent home so argument is always my first approach. After rereading the messages I may have come off a little needy and desperate. I just figured fighting for the relationship and showing him how much I didn’t want to lose it was the best call but now after reading this article I’m not so sure. He told me he wanted to be friends and in the same breath even asked to come over by me to fix a problem on my phone he’s known about for a while but never got around doing for me. Is this fair? He dumps me but the day after wants to be over by me after seeing how much I asked him to stay. For this I told him that it was okay and that I’d get help elsewhere as I want to give him his space but “thank you anyway”. I want him back but I’ve recognised my faults and want to fix them first. With this scenario in mind do you think there is a chance for us ?
Someone who's been acting this way obviously has something to hide. I don't recommend wasting your time, since he won't give you anything to go on and does not want to deal with any emotional topics and only makes casual small talk with you. He's supposed to be your partner, but if he's acting this way, you should move on too and not allow yourself to go through this emotional trauma and uncertainty.
I broke up with my ex about six months ago after a five month relationship. it was very intense and he was completely in love with me. However i wasn’t ready for such a serious relationship so I broke up with him. i tried to be friends with him but he started acting a little needy so i cut off contact with him. over the past few months i’ve realized that i am ready for a relationship with him because i really did love him and he never did anything to hurt me i just wasn’t ready at the time. I texted him the other day asking to be friends and later that day, my friend told me he was seeing someone. I want to respect the relationship but also want him to know that i am willing to wait for him and in the meantime i’ll do things that make me happy. Is this a good idea? I feel like she is a rebound. he told me i was the love of his life and that he never felt a connection with anyone else like he did with me so i find it hard to believe that he is serious about the girl he started dating shortly after our breakup. Nonetheless if he is i will back off but i also feel like what we had isn’t over yet.

Confidence. Confidence is key; not just for women, but for men as well. I’m not speaking of a cocky sort of self-assurance, but having a sense of comfort in your own skin and who you are being. When you know who you are, and you are being that person, you will attract similar vibrations in your life. It’s an attractive quality and has a way of drawing attention to you.


Regardless, if it's his child you're carrying, there should be a level of responsibility he needs to uphold. Also, it's not his first time going through pregnancy and he should be aware that what you're going through in terms of your emotions is perfectly normal. That being said, on your own end, the child should come first at this point and anything that would further cause you emotional grief and sadness should be put aside for the time being, at least until you feel a little more control over your emotions.
He may need a little time to adjust to the situation you two are in, if it’s a long-distance thing, then he’s going to need space and time to think about everything. This doesn’t mean start ignoring his calls or stop texting him back, you should simply realize he may need space. Just because he wants some space also doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss you, sometimes change is a huge thing and people deal with it in different ways. Giving him space will allow him to realize how much he loves and misses you, this is likely to lead to a discussion between the two of you about your feelings.

My ex and I of 4 years had only ever dated each other, neither of us ever dated anyone before we met eachother. I was always satisfied with this and I love her very much, I never saw the need to try new people because I was very happy with her. But 3 years into our relationship she told me she was scared of never experiencing anyone else, and at 4 years, she found herself attracted to one of her guy friends. She decided it would be best for us to break up so she and I could try new people, I believe this decision was also influenced by this friend of hers who is now her new boyfriend. Should I try to get her back or just let things play out as they will (the whole "if it's meant to be than it's meant to be" mentality)? Maybe this is best for the two of us, but at the same I love her a lot and planned on staying with her forever. I don't know if I should try to get her back, or just go out and experience new people and let the cards fall where they will with her and I.
I know right now can be difficult but it’s important you pull back and give him space to see if he will show up for you. Sometimes in relationships, you can be taken for granted and if he is not moving towards you to find comfort when he isn’t making you a priority. I would not reach out to him and keep yourself busy. Do something that makes you happy and do something you have been wanting to do for a while. Watch this video as I believe this will help you as well. All the best and hope this helps! https://youtu.be/IHxpL_E4Ihg
A man should allow a woman to completely express her concerns without feeling that they have to “fix it.” This enables her to feel validated and him to better address her needs. I am not advocating for a man to remain silent and not to provide his feedback. I am stressing that by simply listening to her in an earnest way, he is helping her work through her issues/problems.
You need to rely on your intuitions when you meet someone new. Nevertheless, avoid being judgmental or picky from the beginning. It is vital for you to be open-minded. In fact, you should stop overanalyzing every single aspect. Things work out in a better way when you take it easy for the first few weeks. This will also help you to get to know the guy better.
Peter also switched from "awfulizing" about his work situation from a stance of helpless victim to taking a problem-solving stance. What could he do to find a more positive work situation? He began networking with others in his field, stumbled on a job that sounded far more suitable, applied, and at this point is looking likely to get the position.  

Hi, Me and Ex girlfriend dated for 2 and a half years. We started dating when i was 16 in high school. Now i am 18 and attending college as a freshman. We were best friends for 3 years prior to dating. About 4 months prior to the break up, i started to not keep my promises and not treat her right. 3 weeks prior to the break up i started catching old feelings for a girl i had liked before. i decided to break up with her but still have the intention of getting back together while i was flirting with the other girl. As soon as i figured out the old girl i caught feelings for liked me as well, i ended things completely with my long term girlfriend. this broke her and she started to talk to another guy i knew wasn't right for her and a guy she said she would avoid and never date. I realized after about 2 weeks after the break up i made a terrible mistake and just wanted to be with my long term girlfriend. As of yesterday, i texted and called her so many times. But as of today, i havent talked to her. I really want her back and in the stage of cutting off contact with her at the moment. She said she has completely moved on and doesn't see a future with us and doesn't want to speak and or see me as of yesterday. what do you guys think i should do? thanks guys and i know i was a jerk.
There may be something missing from your relationship that means you two aren’t communicating properly and feelings aren’t getting exchanged as they used too. Taking some time to refocus your energy back on the relationship and remember why you two got together in the first place is a huge way you can make him miss you. Send old photos of the best memories you two have together or just organize something that you both can do. Spend some time rekindling and being together when you can. Then when you both go and separate again he will miss you and the time he’s spent with you. It’s not always possible to be together but if it is then you should try.

Well, the fact that he found you a unique girl shows that he feels differently towards you, or at least did at one point. However, for some people, it is very easy for them to disconnect and disassociate themselves the moment they decide to, and if he decided upon that, may have even started to lose feelings for you as well. My suggestion would be to give it another week or two to see if he responds, before contacting him once more. If he still does not seem to be interested or does not reply, perhaps consider the idea of moving on, because it might end up becoming a painful process to try and wait it on someone who doesn't seem to be interested.
So as much as you want him to open up and think he “should,” you can’t demand it of him. The best thing to do is back off and give him some space. Spend that time focusing on yourself instead of worrying why he’s pulling away from you and what to do about it. Work on recharging your batteries so that you can put positive juice into the relationship.
I accept that the break-up was the best decision as it served as the revelation I needed to get therapy. I have finally been diagnosed and am receiving help for my mental illness. I love him, genuinely, and I want to start a new, healthy relationship with him but he was so angry and hurt when I last spoke to him, and I'm afraid that he won't respond to me if I reach out after 'no contact' or allow me to show him my progress... It kills me that I've hurt him so badly, he means so much to me and has done so much to help me.
I believe very strongly that outside influences have some bearing on the breakups. For example money problems, problems at work , health problems, etc. I believe these contribute to the breakdown of the relationship. If we don't deliberately pay attention and put your loved one first. Then your are heading down a real steep hill and soon you will fall off the cliff.
Is it appropriate to post or allow friend to post pictures in my social media like FB of me with another male?? even if we are friends but it can come across as more then friends. Is been 3 months that my on-off boyfriend of 4 yrs left the house we share for the 3 years, his excuses was that I would be better without him, is not the first time he leaves but I had been the one who always reach out to him and “convince him to come back”, I want different results so is been 2 weeks that I staring applying the no contact method and he has not contact me either.
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