1. Speak over “the Marriage contract”.
In each relations there is a secret “contract”. In it there can be the points, concerning what joint purposes you have, what each of you answers in a family for, how it is acceptable to communicate with each other in a family, how to show love, what distance in relations to you is comprehensible etc. Secrete arrangements are seldom sounded, coordinated and discussed. Both spouses develop, differ, and the primary contract can not correspond to today’s requirements of spouses. And then the contract needs to be reconsidered. Think your contract over, write its points together. Discuss them. Whether they suit to each of you? Whether correspond to the situation requirements? For example, initially you had a secret contract on the common finances. But this agreement was accepted for a long time when money in a family was a little. Probably, now each of you had a requirement to divide the finance, and you are silent about it and at all do not know that your half wants the same, as you. Recollect a parable how two elderly spouses on a golden wedding have found out an error of all life. The husband has thought: “All life, caring of wife, I gave here a crust of bread which I love myself very much; today I at last can eat it myself”. The same the wife has thought of a bread crumb. After that they have found out that the wife liked a crumb for the whole life, and a crust to the husband.
2. Check the guesses about the partner, clear up relations.
Sometimes after a dialogue with the spouse there is a bitter aftertaste of insult or disappointment, a rage or fear. In this case it is possible to try not to avoid the further interaction, and to clear up what has occurred. Thus it is important to speak about it and the experiences and attentively to listen to the partner. Describe your feelings and actions of the partner which have caused these feelings.
Let’s admit that you embrace the husband when he plays the computer. He angrily speaks: “Leave”. You can take offence and cease to talk, be inflated and wait, when the husband will have a sense of guilt, and he will pay attention to you. And you even can decide that the husband has absolutely stopped loving you. And maybe you can wait, when he leaves a computer and ask him about his feelings and the relation to you i.e. to check up the imaginations. Probably, you will learn that the husband loves you very much, and is now simply tired and so has a rest.
Also remember that if your spouse is angry and shouts at you, it does not mean yet that he in general does not love you and does not accept. In each person opposite feelings even to the closest people get are different, at times. We can hate the partner and passionately love him, at times to feel tenderness to him, and at times to be afraid of refusal.
3. A pause in a conflict.
In the conflict of interests when feelings of partners are very strong, each of spouses wishes to insist on his opinion and to win. The lost is compelled to endow his interests. However, the family for this purpose is also necessary as more as possible more full to satisfy the requirements of all its members. When loses at least one, all family loses. When emotions overflow you, and you start to offend each other, make a pause in conversation. Explain to the partner that the pause is necessary to you to calm down and think. Listen to yourself. What prevents you from understanding you partner now? Think what you want. What do you feel? Try to understand his positive intentions. Hardly he lives with you in order to spoil your life. And when he calms down, tell the partner to understand it. Speak about the feelings, about the desires. Ask him, whether correctly he understands you. Then at decision-making you can consider both your interests, and interests of the partner.
it is regrettable but the morning sun never lasts a day. It in full manner refers to marriage. Each day many people face the problem of how to get my ex back. At a glance, this problem is not something new but the question of how to get my ex back is still crucial for many of us.
Don’t forget that modern digital techonologies can assist to find a solution to different tough situations. Look for how to bring my ex back in Google and other search engines, visit social networks and forums, check topics which are relevant to yours. You will learn a lot of advices on how to save your relationships.
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